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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,820 Views)
caissier
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waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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A motorist out for a spin
He was Gordon, this involves gin
The cop said: "breathe into this"
Gordon said, "Gi' us a kiss"
And that's how great love stories begin


A detective inspector called Todd


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waiting4atickle
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A detective inspector called Todd
Was ignored by the rest of the squad

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May-Cee

A detective inspector called Todd
Was ignored by the rest of the squad
His nickname was Sweeney
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waiting4atickle
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A detective inspector called Todd
Was ignored by the rest of the squad
His nickname was Sweeney
He wore a black beanie

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Caro

A detective inspector called Todd
Was ignored by the rest of the squad
His nickname was Sweeney
He wore a black beanie
The others just thought him a clod.

The cook was fond of a joke
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Douglas
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The cook was fond of a joke
He was just that kind of a bloke
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waiting4atickle
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The cook was fond of a joke
He was just that kind of a bloke
When he got the giggles

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dai Cottomy
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The cook was fond of a joke
He was just that kind of a bloke
When he got the giggles
His wife did the wiggles
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Douglas
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The cook was fond of a joke
He was just that kind of a bloke
When he got the giggles
His wife did the wiggles.
It's odd what they do in Stoke.

There was an old man from Crewe
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waiting4atickle
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There was an old man from Crewe
Who tried to make out with a ewe

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Caro

There was an old man from Crewe
Who tried to make out with a ewe
She turned and she butted
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Douglas
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There was an old man from Crewe
Who tried to make out with a ewe
She turned and she butted
The poor man felt gutted
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dai Cottomy
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There was an old man from Crewe
Who tried to make out with a ewe
She turned and she butted
The poor man felt gutted
And the ewe ended up in a stew


A man was out riding his bike
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Douglas
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A man was out riding his bike
He preferred it to having a hike
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Caro

A man was out riding his bike
He preferred it to having a hike
But the bike, it took off
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Douglas
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A man was out riding his bike
He preferred it to having a hike
But the bike, it took off
So, ever the toff,
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dai Cottomy
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A man was out riding his bike
He preferred it to having a hike
But the bike, it took off
So, ever the toff,
He hitched a lift from his mate, Mike

I always eat lots of fresh fruit
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Douglas
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I always eat lots of fresh fruit
Though it sometimes bespatters my suit
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dai Cottomy
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I always eat lots of fresh fruit
Though it sometimes bespatters my suit
Attracting the ants
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waiting4atickle
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I always eat lots of fresh fruit
Though it sometimes bespatters my suit
Attracting the ants
Which get in my pants

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dai Cottomy
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I always eat lots of fresh fruit
Though it sometimes bespatters my suit
Attracting the ants
Which get in my pants
Causing great irritation en route


There once was a lassie called Polly
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Douglas
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There once was a lassie called Polly
Who thought it would be rather jolly
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dai Cottomy
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There once was a lassie called Polly
Who thought it would be rather jolly
To learn how to fly
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Douglas
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There once was a lassie called Polly
Who thought it would be rather jolly
To learn how to fly
'Way up in the sky
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dai Cottomy
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There once was a lassie called Polly
Who thought it would be rather jolly
To learn how to fly
'Way up in the sky
And descend by means of a brolly


A spotty young man name of Pete
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Douglas
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A spotty young man name of Pete
Could never decide what to eat
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dai Cottomy
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A spotty young man name of Pete
Could never decide what to eat
One day he thought he'd try
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Mobson
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A spotty young man name of Pete
Could never decide what to eat
One day he thought he'd try
A Chinese stir-fry
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Douglas
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A spotty young man name of Pete
Could never decide what to eat
One day he thought he'd try
A Chinese stir-fry
And declared that it went down a treat.

There was a young fellow from Stowe
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Mobson
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There was a young fellow from Stowe
Whose obsession was actress Clara Bow
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Douglas
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There was a young fellow from Stowe
Whose obsession was actress Clara Bow.
He papered his walls
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dai Cottomy
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There was a young fellow from Stowe
Whose obsession was actress Clara Bow.
He papered his walls
With pics of her smalls
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Douglas
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There was a young fellow from Stowe
Whose obsession was actress Clara Bow.
He papered his walls
With pics of her smalls
Which he thought made a jolly good show.

There was an old man from Dundee
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May-Cee

There was an old man from Dundee
Had the hots for the Rose of Tralee
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dai Cottomy
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There was an old man from Dundee
Had the hots for the Rose of Tralee
He gave her some cake
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Douglas
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There was an old man from Dundee
Had the hots for the Rose of Tralee
He gave her some cake,
The cunning old rake,
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dai Cottomy
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There was an old man from Dundee
Had the hots for the Rose of Tralee
He gave her some cake,
The cunning old rake,
Then poured her a glass of Drambuie


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dai Cottomy
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She sipped her drink and then she said
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May-Cee

She sipped her drink and then she said
"It's in advance that I'm usually paid"
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Caro

She sipped her drink and then she said
"It's in advance that I'm usually paid"
He looked up in shock
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waiting4atickle
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She sipped her drink and then she said
"It's in advance that I'm usually paid"
He looked up in shock
As she took off her frock

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dai Cottomy
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She sipped her drink and then she said
"It's in advance that I'm usually paid"
He looked up in shock
As she took off her frock
And her manifold charms displayed
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dai Cottomy
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A psychoanalyst from Hull
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Douglas
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A psychoanalyst from Hull
Thought his life had become very dull
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May-Cee

A psychoanalyst from Hull
Thought his life had become very dull
But Larkin's was worse
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waiting4atickle
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A psychoanalyst from Hull
Thought his life had become very dull
But Larkin's was worse
And her manner so terse

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May-Cee

A psychoanalyst from Hull
Thought his life had become very dull
But Larkin's was worse
And her manner so terse
Off to the "Crazed Institution" by Jethro Tull


In Belfast today, ice-cream van plays "The Belle"
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dai Cottomy
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In Belfast today, ice-cream van plays "The Belle"
The Beast said to himself 'bloody hell!'

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May-Cee

In Belfast today, ice-cream van plays "The Belle"
The Beast said to himself 'bloody hell!'
But twas a nice sojourn
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dai Cottomy
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In Belfast today, ice-cream van plays "The Belle"
The Beast said to himself 'bloody hell!'
But twas a nice sojourn
Allowing a slow burn
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May-Cee

In Belfast today, ice-cream van plays "The Belle"
The Beast said to himself 'bloody hell!'
But twas a nice sojourn
Allowing a slow burn
All in all, wasn't such a bad town to dwell


Perfect Candidate, ten Euros on the nose
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dai Cottomy
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Perfect Candidate, ten Euros on the nose
The Last Samuri - lets see how he goes
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waiting4atickle
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Perfect Candidate, ten Euros on the nose
The Last Samuri - lets see how he goes
I'll ask The Young Master

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dai Cottomy
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Perfect Candidate, ten Euros on the nose
The Last Samuri - lets see how he goes
I'll ask The Young Master
Could be disaster
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waiting4atickle
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Perfect Candidate, ten Euros on the nose
The Last Samuri - lets see how he goes
I'll ask The Young Master
Could be disaster
So, Cocktails at Dawn at Drop Out Joe's?


There's a big race at Aintree today

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dai Cottomy
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There was a big race at Aintree today
But not one of our nags won the day
Edited by dai Cottomy, Apr 8 2017, 06:31 PM.
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May-Cee

There was a big race at Aintree today
But not one of our nags won the day
The Irish one, Easter Mon
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waiting4atickle
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There was a big race at Aintree today
But not one of our nags won the day
The Irish one, Easter Mon
Will be much more fun

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May-Cee

There was a big race at Aintree today
But not one of our nags won the day
The Irish one, Easter Mon
Will be much more fun
Still won't hedge my bet and go Each Way



On Ladies Day a Scouse lass made a boo-boo
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May-Cee

On Ladies Day a Scouse lass made a boo-boo
With a top that was a wee bit too see-through
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Caro

On Ladies Day a Scouse lass made a boo-boo
With a top that was a wee bit too see-through
She strutted her stuff
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Douglas
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On Ladies Day a Scouse lass made a boo-boo
With a top that was a wee bit too see-through
She strutted her stuff
Showing more than enough
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waiting4atickle
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On Ladies Day a Scouse lass made a boo-boo
With a top that was a wee bit too see-through
She strutted her stuff
Showing more than enough
In a skirt that looked like a tutu.


There was a young man from Versailles

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dai Cottomy
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There was a young man from Versailles
Who sadly had only one eye
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Douglas
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There was a young man from Versailles
Who sadly had only one eye
With the other, so keen,
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waiting4atickle
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There was a young man from Versailles
Who sadly had only one eye
With the other, so keen,
He could tell red from green

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Caro

There was a young man from Versailles
Who sadly had only one eye
With the other, so keen,
He could tell red from green
And thus he learnt how not to die.

There's many a dog on the loose
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waiting4atickle
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There's many a dog on the loose
That relieves itself on a spruce

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Douglas
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There's many a dog on the loose
That relieves itself on a spruce
Or any old tree
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May-Cee

There's many a dog on the loose
That relieves itself on a spruce
Or any old tree
I'm a cat lady, me
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dai Cottomy
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There's many a dog on the loose
That relieves itself on a spruce
Or any old tree
I'm a cat lady, me
While I have half share of a moose

There was a stockbroker from Leeds
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May-Cee

There was a stockbroker from Leeds
But they're Lancs - cheat on the deeds
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waiting4atickle
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There was a stockbroker from Leeds
But they're Lancs - cheat on the deeds
He had some junk bonds

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May-Cee

There was a stockbroker from Leeds
But they're Lancs - cheat on the deeds
He had some junk bonds
Man U get what belongs

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dai Cottomy
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There was a stockbroker from Leeds
But they're Lancs - cheat on the deeds
He had some junk bonds
Man U get what belongs
Their manager gets what he needs


An overweight grocer from Staines
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Caro

An overweight grocer from Staines
Didn't just feast on the mains
Edited by Caro, Apr 20 2017, 06:50 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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An overweight grocer from Staines
Didn't just feast on the mains
He wolfed down desserts

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dai Cottomy
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An overweight grocer from Staines
Didn't just feast on the mains
He wolfed down desserts
Most went down his shirts
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May-Cee

An overweight grocer from Staines
Didn't just feast on the mains
He wolfed down desserts
Most went down his shirts
This is Gregg Wallace, let's name names


In Belfast a treat is a Paris Bun
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waiting4atickle
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In Belfast a treat is a Paris Bun
Don't be misled, it's not like a gun

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May-Cee

In Belfast a treat is a Paris Bun
Don't be misled, it's not like a gun
Still nice but not sweet
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dai Cottomy
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In Belfast a treat is a Paris Bun
Don't be misled, it's not like a gun
Still nice but not sweet
But tends to repeat
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May-Cee

In Belfast a treat is a Paris Bun
Don't be misled, it's not like a gun
Still nice but not sweet
But tends to repeat
No other city will know how the bakery's done


It's nice to be in a home town with quirks
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dai Cottomy
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It's nice to be in a home town with quirks
And a transport system that works
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May-Cee

It's nice to be in a home town with quirks
And a transport system that works
You seen Dublin at noon?
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Douglas
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It's nice to be in a home town with quirks
And a transport system that works
You seen Dublin at noon?
If you haven't, come soon
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May-Cee

It's nice to be in a home town with quirks
And a transport system that works
You seen Dublin at noon?
If you haven't, come soon
All are welcome, apart from the jerks


My cat is Nica, after the "Jazz Baroness"
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dai Cottomy
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My cat is Nica, after the "Jazz Baroness"
She likes her occasional night time caress
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May-Cee

My cat is Nica, after the "Jazz Baroness"
She likes her occasional night time caress
Pannonica was cool
She broke every rule
I'm upgrading my wee Nica to a Countess


Sorry!


The Irish gift of the gab is sometimes bad
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waiting4atickle
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The Irish gift of the gab is sometimes bad
Limericks like this can make a man mad

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Douglas
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The Irish gift of the gab is sometimes bad
Limericks like this can make a man mad
It takes so much time
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May-Cee

The Irish gift of the gab is sometimes bad
Limericks like this can make a man mad
It takes so much time
To get a word rhyme
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dai Cottomy
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The Irish gift of the gab is sometimes bad
Limericks like this can make a man mad
It takes so much time
To get a word rhyme
It makes me so terribly sad


There was a young lady from Cork



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May-Cee

There was a young lady from Cork
Rural land, we know our beef from our pork
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dai Cottomy
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There was a young lady from Cork
Rural land, we know our beef from our pork
She learnt from a book
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Douglas
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There was a young lady from Cork
Rural land, we know our beef from our pork
She learnt from a book
The way she should cook
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May-Cee

There was a young lady from Cork
Rural land, we know our beef from our pork
She learnt from a book
The way she should cook
And what works on the end of a fork


Though Irish, I've never been fond of stew
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dai Cottomy
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Though Irish, I've never been fond of stew
I'd much rather have some strong brew
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May-Cee

Though Irish, I've never been fond of stew
I'd much rather have some strong brew
Who's been telling these tales?
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Douglas
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Though Irish, I've never been fond of stew
I'd much rather have some strong brew
Who's been telling these tales?
And airing my fondness for ales ?
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