| Limericks | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,818 Views) | |
| caissier | Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM Post #1 |
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467 Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011 There was an old hero called Ajax who certainly lived life to the max His fighting was mythic His muscles terrythic From the years he'd spent building haystacks. Now they're gunning for poor old Brock Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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| May-Cee | Jun 13 2017, 01:41 PM Post #3201 |
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A limerick writer from Cork One day was stalking a stork The bird, not the Club |
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| Douglas | Jun 13 2017, 05:56 PM Post #3202 |
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A limerick writer from Cork One day was stalking a stork The bird, not the Club Nor even the pub |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 13 2017, 10:13 PM Post #3203 |
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A limerick writer from Cork One day was stalking a stork The bird, not the Club Nor even the pub He traced it to a basement in York Overjoyed, he wrote home to his wife |
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| Douglas | Jun 14 2017, 12:03 AM Post #3204 |
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Overjoyed, he wrote home to his wife 'Twas the happiest day of his life |
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| May-Cee | Jun 14 2017, 12:38 PM Post #3205 |
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Overjoyed, he wrote home to his wife 'Twas the happiest day of his life He said "The marriage is over" |
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| Douglas | Jun 14 2017, 01:19 PM Post #3206 |
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Overjoyed, he wrote home to his wife 'Twas the happiest day of his life He said "The marriage is over. "I can now be a rover " |
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| May-Cee | Jun 14 2017, 02:07 PM Post #3207 |
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Overjoyed, he wrote home to his wife 'Twas the happiest day of his life He said "The marriage is over" "I can now be a rover" "And there's this wee piece of skirt I met in Fife" That's Scotland for youse, all kirks and kinks |
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| waiting4atickle | Jun 14 2017, 09:11 PM Post #3208 |
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That's Scotland for youse, all kirks and kinks And swingers in tweeds out there on the links |
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| May-Cee | Jun 15 2017, 01:53 PM Post #3209 |
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That's Scotland for youse, all kirks and kinks And swingers in tweeds out there on the links Shouldn't scoff, fellow Celt |
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| waiting4atickle | Jun 16 2017, 10:27 PM Post #3210 |
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That's Scotland for youse, all kirks and kinks And swingers in tweeds out there on the links Shouldn't scoff, fellow Celt So no blows 'neath the belt |
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| May-Cee | Jun 16 2017, 11:37 PM Post #3211 |
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That's Scotland for youse, all kirks and kinks And swingers in tweeds out there on the links Shouldn't scoff, fellow Celt So no blows 'neath the belt A Bushmills, just to clear the image, methinks Didn't mean to, booked my fourth trip to the Argentine |
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| waiting4atickle | Jun 17 2017, 12:14 PM Post #3212 |
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Didn't mean to, booked my fourth trip to the Argentine That's a lot of syllables in one line |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 17 2017, 12:35 PM Post #3213 |
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Didn't mean to, booked my fourth trip to the Argentine That's a lot of syllables in one line If didn't mean, why do? |
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| May-Cee | Jun 17 2017, 02:11 PM Post #3214 |
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Didn't mean to, booked my fourth trip to the Argentine That's a lot of syllables in one line If didn't mean, why do? Mum's benign ghost, that's who I keep drawn to a land I feel is partly mine (You're right, Tick - the scansion was all over the place with that one!) Been reading Clive James, my Sat paper treat |
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| waiting4atickle | Jun 17 2017, 03:55 PM Post #3215 |
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Been reading Clive James, my Sat paper treat Isn't he dead yet? Life must be too sweet |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 17 2017, 05:26 PM Post #3216 |
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Been reading Clive James, my Sat paper treat Isn't he dead yet? Life must be too sweet New drugs keep him going |
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| waiting4atickle | Jun 17 2017, 10:13 PM Post #3217 |
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Been reading Clive James, my Sat paper treat Isn't he dead yet? Life must be too sweet New drugs keep him going And the toing and froing |
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| May-Cee | Jun 18 2017, 01:29 AM Post #3218 |
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Been reading Clive James, my Sat paper treat Isn't he dead yet? Life must be too sweet New drugs keep him going And the toing and froing The most humane fella to come from Fleet Street I've done some stints with the London press |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 18 2017, 11:59 AM Post #3219 |
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I've done some stints with the London press Guarniad, Telegraph or Daily Express? |
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| May-Cee | Jun 18 2017, 01:11 PM Post #3220 |
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I've done some stints with the London press Guarniad, Telegraph or Daily Express? You got a hole in one... |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 18 2017, 01:22 PM Post #3221 |
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I've done some stints with the London press Guarniad, Telegraph or Daily Express? You got a hole in one... Oh good! Then not the Sun? |
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| May-Cee | Jun 19 2017, 02:28 PM Post #3222 |
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I've done some stints with the London press Guarniad, Telegraph or Daily Express? You got a hole in one... Oh good! Then not the Sun? Was offered Page Three but was wearing a dress Dublin today, my debut of a polka-dot skirt |
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| Douglas | Jun 19 2017, 05:03 PM Post #3223 |
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Dublin today, my debut of a polka-dot skirt, I must really confess I'm a bit of a flirt, |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 19 2017, 06:25 PM Post #3224 |
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Dublin today, my debut of a polka-dot skirt, I must really confess I'm a bit of a flirt, I think you've pulled, Miss |
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| May-Cee | Jun 19 2017, 08:43 PM Post #3225 |
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Dublin today, my debut of a polka-dot skirt I must really confess I'm a bit of a flirt I think you've pulled, Miss With a Croke Park kiss? |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 20 2017, 11:06 AM Post #3226 |
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Dublin today, my debut of a polka-dot skirt I must really confess I'm a bit of a flirt I think you've pulled, Miss With a Croke Park kiss? Far be it from me to dish the dirt Humour is good in these troubled times |
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| Douglas | Jun 20 2017, 12:17 PM Post #3227 |
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Humour is good in these troubled times When we get it here it's served up in rhymes Edited by Douglas, Jun 20 2017, 02:54 PM.
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| May-Cee | Jun 21 2017, 02:09 PM Post #3228 |
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Humour is good in these troubled times When we get it here it's served up in rhymes Let's not forget those poor souls For whom the bell tolls |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 23 2017, 10:35 AM Post #3229 |
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Humour is good in these troubled times When we get it here it's served up in rhymes Let's not forget those poor souls For whom the bell tolls For misfortune and possibly crimes A chimney sweep from Ponders End Edited by dai Cottomy, Jun 23 2017, 10:36 AM.
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| waiting4atickle | Jun 24 2017, 02:57 PM Post #3230 |
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A chimney sweep from Ponders End Had a thingumabob that he could bend |
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| May-Cee | Jun 24 2017, 03:59 PM Post #3231 |
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A chimney sweep from Ponders End Had a thingumabob that he could bend There was no need to boast |
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| waiting4atickle | Jun 24 2017, 06:08 PM Post #3232 |
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A chimney sweep from Ponders End Had a thingumabob that he could bend There was no need to boast It was obvious to most |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 24 2017, 08:03 PM Post #3233 |
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A chimney sweep from Ponders End Had a thingumabob that he could bend There was no need to boast It was obvious to most It enabled him to set a trend When it's hot, I don't do very much |
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| May-Cee | Jun 24 2017, 09:27 PM Post #3234 |
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When it's hot, I don't do very much With my lover, it's just a kiss and a touch |
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| waiting4atickle | Jun 24 2017, 11:38 PM Post #3235 |
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When it's hot, I don't do very much With my lover, it's just a kiss and a touch But when winter sets in |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 25 2017, 03:42 AM Post #3236 |
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When it's hot, I don't do very much With my lover, it's just a kiss and a touch But when winter sets in It's then I begin |
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| May-Cee | Jun 25 2017, 12:08 PM Post #3237 |
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When it's hot, I don't do very much With my lover, it's just a kiss and a touch But when winter sets in It's then I begin And once started, I can't get enough All this rudeness from a good Catholic girl |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 25 2017, 12:27 PM Post #3238 |
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All this rudeness from a good Catholic girl Doctor Dai allows your wants to unfurl Edited by dai Cottomy, Jun 25 2017, 12:29 PM.
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| May-Cee | Jun 25 2017, 04:13 PM Post #3239 |
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All this rudeness from a good Catholic girl Doctor Dai allows your wants to unfurl Should I lie on your couch? |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 25 2017, 05:30 PM Post #3240 |
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All this rudeness from a good Catholic girl Doctor Dai allows your wants to unfurl Should I lie on your couch? There the truth you should vouch |
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| waiting4atickle | Jun 25 2017, 05:44 PM Post #3241 |
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All this rudeness from a good Catholic girl Doctor Dai allows your wants to unfurl Should I lie on your couch? There the truth you should vouch, Part your lips and show me your pearl. So Ramadan's over at last |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 26 2017, 09:56 AM Post #3242 |
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So Ramadan's over at last Its time to partake of breakfast Edited by dai Cottomy, Jun 26 2017, 10:03 AM.
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| Douglas | Jun 26 2017, 01:04 PM Post #3243 |
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So Ramadan's over at last Its time to partake of breakfast We can eat all the day |
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| May-Cee | Jun 26 2017, 03:41 PM Post #3244 |
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So Ramadan's over at last It's time to partake of breakfast We can eat all day And ration the pray |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 26 2017, 09:33 PM Post #3245 |
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So Ramadan's over at last It's time to partake of breakfast We can eat all day And ration the pray I prithee go and get me some repast (The Taming of the Shrew) |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 27 2017, 04:09 PM Post #3246 |
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A sweet little maid from Cadiz |
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| waiting4atickle | Jun 27 2017, 09:29 PM Post #3247 |
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A sweet little maid from Cadiz Got herself in a bit of a tizz |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 28 2017, 03:54 PM Post #3248 |
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A sweet little maid from Cadiz Got herself in a bit of a tizz She made her mum despair |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 30 2017, 12:48 PM Post #3249 |
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A sweet little maid from Cadiz Got herself in a bit of a tizz She made her mum despair When she dried her hair With a hoover, making it frizz Jake was a boxer from Harrow |
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| Douglas | Jun 30 2017, 10:17 PM Post #3250 |
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Jake was a boxer from Harrow Who courted a lassie from Barrow |
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| Caro | Jul 1 2017, 05:35 AM Post #3251 |
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Jake was a boxer from Harrow Who courted a lassie from Barrow He hugged her so hard |
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| dai Cottomy | Jul 1 2017, 04:46 PM Post #3252 |
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Jake was a boxer from Harrow Who courted a lassie from Barrow He hugged her so hard She waved a red card |
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| Douglas | Jul 2 2017, 12:01 PM Post #3253 |
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Jake was a boxer from Harrow Who courted a lassie from Barrow He hugged her so hard She waved a red card He'd crushed her bones to the marrow. There was a young lass from Dalmilling |
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| May-Cee | Jul 2 2017, 12:12 PM Post #3254 |
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There was a young lass from Dalmilling And what she wouldn't do for a shilling... |
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| Douglas | Jul 6 2017, 12:10 AM Post #3255 |
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There was a young lass from Dalmilling And what she wouldn't do for a shilling... Well, sad to relate |
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| dai Cottomy | Jul 8 2017, 02:35 PM Post #3256 |
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There was a young lass from Dalmilling And what she wouldn't do for a shilling... Well, sad to relate She tried to ice skate |
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| Douglas | Jul 8 2017, 04:38 PM Post #3257 |
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There was a young lass from Dalmilling And what she wouldn't do for a shilling... Well, sad to relate She tried to ice skate But she found falling down to be chilling. An elderly gent from Milngavie |
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| May-Cee | Jul 9 2017, 04:10 PM Post #3258 |
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An elderly gent from Milngavie Had a wife a wee bit too gabby |
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| Douglas | Jul 10 2017, 10:43 AM Post #3259 |
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May-Cee, I must confess to setting a trap to see who would fall into it. I'm sorry to say it was you. "Milngavie" is pronounced "Milguy" in Kelvinside and "Mulguy" elsewhere. Were you to say she was "a wee bit too shy", your line would rhyme. |
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| May-Cee | Jul 14 2017, 02:30 PM Post #3260 |
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An elderly gent from Milngavie Had a wife a wee bit too sly Much like a fella I know... |
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| waiting4atickle | Jul 15 2017, 03:05 PM Post #3261 |
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An elderly gent from Milngavie Had a wife a wee bit too sly Much like a fella I know... Burlington Bertie from Bow |
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| Caro | Jul 23 2017, 06:55 AM Post #3262 |
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An elderly gent from Milngavie Had a wife a wee bit too sly Much like a fella I know... Burlington Bertie from Bow Or Iago in Shakespeare, a spy. [I don't usually add to an unknown British placename, not wanting to be mocked. The Britons have no idea of phonetics, I find.] There once was a house on the Thames [I think everyone knows how Thames is pronounced] |
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| Douglas | Jul 23 2017, 03:01 PM Post #3263 |
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There once was a house on the Thames In a style which good taste condemns |
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| Mobson | Jul 24 2017, 03:05 PM Post #3264 |
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There once was a house on the Thames In a style which good taste condemns Being pseudo baroque |
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| May-Cee | Jul 24 2017, 06:34 PM Post #3265 |
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There once was a house on the Thames In a style which good taste condemns Being pseudo baroque In truth, what a crock! |
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| Mobson | Jul 27 2017, 09:13 AM Post #3266 |
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There once was a house on the Thames In a style which good taste condemns Being pseudo baroque In truth, what a crock! And the least of its architectural gems! |
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| Mobson | Jul 27 2017, 09:19 AM Post #3267 |
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When Willie proposed marriage to Meg |
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| dai Cottomy | Jul 27 2017, 02:00 PM Post #3268 |
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When Willie proposed marriage to Meg He did it while eating an egg |
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| waiting4atickle | Jul 27 2017, 10:15 PM Post #3269 |
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When Willie proposed marriage to Meg He did it while eating an egg But Oh! the disgrace |
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| Douglas | Jul 27 2017, 11:43 PM Post #3270 |
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When Willie proposed marriage to Meg He did it while eating an egg But Oh! the disgrace 'Twas all over the place |
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| Caro | Jul 28 2017, 12:00 AM Post #3271 |
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When Willie proposed marriage to Meg He did it while eating an egg But Oh! the disgrace 'Twas all over the place All he could do then was beg. So Meg then was forced to forgive |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 1 2017, 07:56 PM Post #3272 |
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So Meg then was forced to forgive She believed in live and let live |
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| Douglas | Aug 1 2017, 11:47 PM Post #3273 |
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So Meg then was forced to forgive She believed in live and let live But not live with Willie |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 2 2017, 08:14 PM Post #3274 |
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So Meg then was forced to forgive She believed in live and let live But not live with Willie Who's a bit silly |
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| Douglas | Aug 5 2017, 11:44 AM Post #3275 |
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So Meg then was forced to forgive She believed in live and let live But not live with Willie Who's a bit silly Not to mention an out-and-out spiv. There was an old man from Dunblane |
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| May-Cee | Aug 5 2017, 07:59 PM Post #3276 |
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There was an old man from Dunblane Loved Westerns, his fave was "Shane" |
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| Mobson | Aug 5 2017, 11:48 PM Post #3277 |
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There was an old man from Dunblane Loved Westerns, his fave was "Shane" Which he watched all the time |
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| Douglas | Aug 6 2017, 12:20 AM Post #3278 |
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There was an old man from Dunblane Loved Westerns, his fave was "Shane" Which he watched all the time 'Cos he thought it sublime |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 6 2017, 01:07 PM Post #3279 |
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here was an old man from Dunblane Loved Westerns, his fave was "Shane" Which he watched all the time 'Cos he thought it sublime Then he saw it again and again My favourite film's Casablanca |
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| May-Cee | Aug 6 2017, 08:10 PM Post #3280 |
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My favourite film's Casablanca Once saw it on a plane to Sri Lanka |
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| Douglas | Aug 6 2017, 08:25 PM Post #3281 |
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My favourite film's Casablanca Once saw it on a plane to Sri Lanka When we got to Colombo |
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| May-Cee | Aug 7 2017, 10:07 AM Post #3282 |
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My favourite film's Casablanca Once saw it on a plane to Sri Lanka When we got to Colombo I met Dalton Trumbo |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 7 2017, 10:31 AM Post #3283 |
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My favourite film's Casablanca Once saw it on a plane to Sri Lanka When we got to Colombo I met Dalton Trumbo Who was with his girlfriend, Bianca An ageing rock star named Benny |
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| Douglas | Aug 7 2017, 11:48 AM Post #3284 |
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An ageing rock star named Benny Thought to put on a gig at Kilkenny Edited by Douglas, Aug 7 2017, 11:49 AM.
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| May-Cee | Aug 7 2017, 01:33 PM Post #3285 |
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An ageing rock star named Benny Thought to put on a gig at Kilkenny But no drugs or booze * Kilkenny is my dad's home town. I live in Dublin but Kilkenny is the county I cheer on in all the Gaelic sports. |
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| Douglas | Aug 7 2017, 05:09 PM Post #3286 |
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An ageing rock star named Benny Thought to put on a gig at Kilkenny But no drugs or booze And old rockers a-snooze |
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| May-Cee | Aug 7 2017, 06:27 PM Post #3287 |
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An ageing rock star named Benny Thought to put on a gig at Kilkenny But no drugs or booze And old rockers a-snooze But groupies are still two a penny! She wouldn't like that last gag, Germaine Greer |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 8 2017, 03:14 PM Post #3288 |
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She wouldn't like that last gag, Germaine Greer Her reaction would be quite severe |
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| May-Cee | Aug 8 2017, 04:52 PM Post #3289 |
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She wouldn't like that last gag, Germaine Greer Her reaction would be quite severe But she's a good-natured sport |
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| Douglas | Aug 8 2017, 11:25 PM Post #3290 |
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She wouldn't like that last gag, Germaine Greer Her reaction would be quite severe But she's a good-natured sport She'll not take you to court |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 9 2017, 12:20 PM Post #3291 |
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She wouldn't like that last gag, Germaine Greer Her reaction would be quite severe But she's a good-natured sport She'll not take you to court If you promise to buy her a beer |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 9 2017, 12:23 PM Post #3292 |
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An eccentric old person from Harrow |
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| Douglas | Aug 9 2017, 04:36 PM Post #3293 |
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An eccentric old person from Harrow Would sleep curled up in a barrow |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 10 2017, 01:15 PM Post #3294 |
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An eccentric old person from Harrow Would sleep curled up in a barrow When he awoke |
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| Douglas | Aug 12 2017, 12:33 AM Post #3295 |
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An eccentric old person from Harrow Would sleep curled up in a barrow When he awoke He found, as a joke, |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 12 2017, 01:49 PM Post #3296 |
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An eccentric old person from Harrow Would sleep curled up in a barrow When he awoke He found, as a joke, He was nursing a vegetable marrow His Worship the Mayor of East Cheam |
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| Douglas | Aug 12 2017, 01:56 PM Post #3297 |
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His Worship the Mayor of East Cheam Had a fondness for peaches and cream |
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| Caro | Aug 12 2017, 10:09 PM Post #3298 |
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His Worship the Mayor of East Cheam Had a fondness for peaches and cream He filled up his plate |
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| Douglas | Aug 13 2017, 12:37 AM Post #3299 |
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His Worship the Mayor of East Cheam Had a fondness for peaches and cream He filled up his plate But then had to wait |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 13 2017, 02:42 PM Post #3300 |
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His Worship the Mayor of East Cheam Had a fondness for peaches and cream He filled up his plate But then had to wait So long for a spoon that he started to scream I've decided to go on a cruise |
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7:06 AM Jul 13