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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,817 Views)
caissier
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waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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Douglas
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I've decided to go on a cruise
If I don't, I'd just go on the booze
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dai Cottomy
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I've decided to go on a cruise
If I don't, I'd just go on the booze
To exotic places
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Douglas
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I've decided to go on a cruise
(If I don't, I'd just go on the booze}
To exotic places
To see some new faces
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May-Cee

I've decided to go on a cruise
If I don't, I'd just go on the booze
To exotic places
To see some new faces
Maybe even Penelope Cruz


In the end Cruise and Cruz never wed
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waiting4atickle
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In the end Cruise and Cruz never wed
Each wishing the other one dead

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dai Cottomy
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In the end Cruise and Cruz never wed
Each wishing the other one dead
Best not to say more
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waiting4atickle
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In the end Cruise and Cruz never wed
Each wishing the other one dead
Best not to say more
There'll be no encore

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Caro

In the end Cruise and Cruz never wed
Each wishing the other one dead
Best not to say more
There'll be no encore
"That's it," was all that they said.

There was a big lightning strike here last week
Edited by Caro, Aug 17 2017, 03:00 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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There was a big lightning strike here last week
All the transport staff came out, it was bleak

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Mobson
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There was a big lightning strike here last week
All the transport staff came out, it was bleak
Struck by 701 flashes
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dai Cottomy
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There was a big lightning strike here last week
All the transport staff came out, it was bleak
Struck by 701 flashes
They were reduced to ashes
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Mobson
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There was a big lightning strike here last week
All the transport staff came out, it was bleak
Struck by 701 flashes
They were reduced to ashes
Making it impossible to find all they seek

Edited by Mobson, Aug 21 2017, 02:56 AM.
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Mobson
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There's a proverb that I often use
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dai Cottomy
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There's a proverb that I often use
For people who have a short fuse
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Caro

There's a proverb that I often use
For people who have a short fuse
It's short and it's pithy
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Mobson
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There's a proverb that I often use
For people who have a short fuse
It's short and it's pithy
And not to say iffy
Edited by Mobson, Aug 28 2017, 05:24 AM.
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Douglas
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There's a proverb that I often use
For people who have a short fuse
It's short and it's pithy
And not to say iffy.
It avoids any verbal abuse.

Last week at the Edinburgh Fringe
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dai Cottomy
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Last week at the Edinburgh Fringe
Some comedy acts made one cringe
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Mobson
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Last week at the Edinburgh Fringe
Some comedy acts made one cringe
Not humorous at all
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Douglas
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Last week at the Edinburgh Fringe
Some comedy acts made one cringe
Not humorous at all
Drove me up the wall
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dai Cottomy
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Last week at the Edinburgh Fringe
Some comedy acts made one cringe
Not humorous at all
Drove me up the wall
So we decided to go on a binge

As we staggered along the Royal Mile
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Caro

As we staggered along the Royal Mile
We found we had the wrong style [We did go down the Royal Mile once, and were surprised at all the people coming in the opposite direction. I don't know how but we had found ourselves there during the Festival without realising it was on.]
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dai Cottomy
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As we staggered along the Royal Mile
We found we had the wrong style
Doing the eightsome reel
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Caro

As we staggered along the Royal Mile
We found we had the wrong style
Doing the eightsome reel
It had a funny feel
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dai Cottomy
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As we staggered along the Royal Mile
We found we had the wrong style
Doing the eightsome reel
It had a funny feel
But at least it made every one smile

September's here fruitful and mellow
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Douglas
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September's here fruitful and mellow
The leaves are now turning yellow
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waiting4atickle
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September's here fruitful and mellow
The leaves are now turning yellow
And blocking the drains

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Caro

September's here fruitful and mellow
The leaves are now turning yellow
And blocking the drains
And also the lanes [good to see you here again, Tickle; I was beginning to wonder about you]
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Douglas
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September's here fruitful and mellow
The leaves are now turning yellow
And blocking the drains
And also the lanes.
Just sweep them all up, my good fellow.

And the nights are now drawing in
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Caro

And the nights are now drawing in
The coldness and damp will begin
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waiting4atickle
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And the nights are now drawing in
The coldness and damp will begin
So let's head Downunder

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dai Cottomy
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And the nights are now drawing in
The coldness and damp will begin
So let's head Downunder
Avoiding the thunder
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Mobson
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And the nights are now drawing in
The coldness and damp will begin
So let's head Downunder
Avoiding the thunder
And getting a dark tan on our skin! ๐Ÿ˜ณ
Edited by Mobson, Oct 4 2017, 03:09 PM.
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Mobson
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Looks like Catalonia is breaking away
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dai Cottomy
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Looks like Catalonia is breaking away
Not if Mr. Rajoy has any say
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Mobson
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Looks like Catalonia is breaking away
Not if Mr. Rajoy has any say
The King's been on telly
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dai Cottomy
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Looks like Catalonia is breaking away
Not if Mr. Rajoy has any say
The King's been on telly
With fire in his belly
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Douglas
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Looks like Catalonia is breaking away
Not if Mr. Rajoy has any say
The King's been on telly
With fire in his belly.
I wonder what's happened today.

Enough of these topical themes
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waiting4atickle
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Enough of these topical themes
There must be more humorous memes

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Douglas
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Enough of these topical themes
There must be more humorous memes
I can't think of one now
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dai Cottomy
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Enough of these topical themes
There must be more humorous memes
I can't think of one now
So I'll just take a bow
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Douglas
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Enough of these topical themes
There must be more humorous memes
I can't think of one now
So I'll just take a bow
And hope I find one in my dreams.

I see Christmas is now in some shops

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waiting4atickle
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I see Christmas is now in some shops
And Santa must work till he drops

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Douglas
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I see Christmas is now in some shops
And Santa must work till he drops
While we wait till he comes
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waiting4atickle
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I see Christmas is now in some shops
And Santa must work till he drops
While we wait till he comes
We sit twiddling our thumbs

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dai Cottomy
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I see Christmas is now in some shops
And Santa must work till he drops
While we wait till he comes
We sit twiddling our thumbs
Suddenly down the chimney he pops

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dai Cottomy
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Seated in the hearth he sips a wee brandy
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Douglas
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Seated in the hearth he sips a wee brandy
If it were Weinstein, he'd be much too randy
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dai Cottomy
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Seated in the hearth he sips a wee brandy
If it were Weinstein, he'd be much too randy
But he's not so he won't
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May-Cee

Seated in the hearth he sips a wee brandy
If it were Weinstein, he'd be much too randy
But he's not so he won't
An asshole, so please don't!
To get things back to fine and dandy...


Our big storm in Dublin has finally gone
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May-Cee

Our big storm in Dublin has finally gone
You should see what it did to my lawn
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dai Cottomy
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Our big storm in Dublin has finally gone
You should see what it did to my lawn
It's turned into a bog
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Douglas
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Our big storm in Dublin has finally gone
You should see what it did to my lawn
It's turned into a bog
Which nearly swallowed the dog
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Caro

Our big storm in Dublin has finally gone
You should see what it did to my lawn
It's turned into a bog
Which nearly swallowed the dog
But then the great sun it has shone.

A comely young girl just called Hope
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Douglas
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A comely young girl just called Hope
Was the star of an advert for soap
Edited by Douglas, Nov 4 2017, 12:45 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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A comely young girl just called Hope
Was the star of an advert for soap
It showed her at home
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Douglas
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A comely young girl just called Hope
Was the star of an advert for soap
It showed her at home
All covered in foam
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dai Cottomy
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A comely young girl just called Hope
Was the star of an advert for soap
It showed her at home
All covered in foam
Which caused little Hope to mope
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May-Cee

When the clock ticks midnight, I'm a year older
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Caro

When the clock ticks midnight, I'm a year older
Happy Birthday. You're just getting golder [In NZ we get a Gold Card when we are 65 which entitles you to various concessions.]
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May-Cee

When the clock ticks midnight, I'm a year older
Happy Birthday. You're just getting golder
Tell that to my bones
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Douglas
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When the clock ticks midnight, I'm a year older
Happy Birthday. You're just getting golder
Tell that to my bones
And list to my groans
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waiting4atickle
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When the clock ticks midnight, I'm a year older
Happy Birthday. You're just getting golder
Tell that to my bones
And list to my groans
Ever louder as it grows colder


An Irishman's hope was rekindling

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Douglas
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An Irishman's hope was rekindling
After many long years of dwindling
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May-Cee

An Irishman's hope was rekindling
After many long years of dwindling
As a Dublin sport, know the sort
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Caro

An Irishman's hope was rekindling
After many long years of dwindling
As a Dublin sport, know the sort
The horse fought and fought
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waiting4atickle
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An Irishman's hope was rekindling
After many long years of dwindling
As a Dublin sport, know the sort
The horse fought and fought
But the bookies are always swindling


A jockey from Jarrow grew fat

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May-Cee

A jockey from Jarrow grew fat
Which ended his days on the flat
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Douglas
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A jockey from Jarrow grew fat
Which ended his days on the flat
So he switched to the jumps
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Caro

A jockey from Jarrow grew fat
Which ended his days on the flat
So he switched to the jumps
And enjoyed the bumps
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May-Cee

A jockey from Jarrow grew fat
Which ended his days on the flat
So he switched to the jumps
And enjoyed the bumps
But Paddy Power says he's old hat


This old Trilby I bought, will it work?
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dai Cottomy
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This old Trilby I bought, will it work?
Or will it make the guys smirk?
Edited by dai Cottomy, Nov 18 2017, 05:21 PM.
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Douglas
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This old Trilby I bought, will it work?
Or will it make the guys smirk?
Well, I'll give it a try
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May-Cee

This old Trilby I bought, will it work?
Or will it make the guys smirk?
Well, I'll give it a try
I'm not usually shy
But I've swapped it for Fez and gone Turk


It's a shame we aren't in the World Cup
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Douglas
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It's a shame we aren't in the World Cup
But we really must cheer ourselves up
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dai Cottomy
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It's a shame we aren't in the World Cup
But we really must cheer ourselves up
Other games we can play
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May-Cee

It's a shame we aren't in the World Cup
But we really must cheer ourselves up
Other games we can play
Camogie in my day
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Caro

It's a shame we aren't in the World Cup
But we really must cheer ourselves up
Other games we can play
Camogie in my day
And wait for the next Cup to sup. [I didn't know what camogie was. Why is it not just called 'hurling'?]

A cunning young lad called Rodrique
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dai Cottomy
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A cunning young lad called Rodrique
Was a dab hand at playing Bezique
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waiting4atickle
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A cunning young lad called Rodrique
Was a dab hand at playing Bezique
But nobody cared

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Douglas
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A cunning young lad called Rodrique
Was a dab hand at playing Bezique
But nobody cared
Or else no-one dared
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dai Cottomy
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A cunning young lad called Rodrique
Was a dab hand at playing Bezique
But nobody cared
Or else no-one dared
To challenge his amazing technique

He was also a demon at chess
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Mobson
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He was also a demon at chess
As evil as Hermann Karl Hesse
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waiting4atickle
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He was also a demon at chess
As evil as Hermann Karl Hesse
But his chequered career

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Douglas
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He was also a demon at chess
As evil as Hermann Karl Hesse
But his chequered career
Ended when it came clear
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Mobson
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He was also a demon at chess
As evil as Hermann Karl Hesse
But his chequered career
Ended when it came clear
He's actually a lassie named Bess
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Mobson
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Born with a competitive streak
Edited by Mobson, Nov 28 2017, 08:18 PM.
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Caro

Born with a competitive streak
Joe was a bit of a geek
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Mobson
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Born with a competitive streak
Joe was a bit of a geek
Obsessed with gadgetry
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dai Cottomy
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Born with a competitive streak
Joe was a bit of a geek
Obsessed with gadgetry
Lived in a lavat'ry
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Douglas
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Born with a competitive streak
Joe was a bit of a geek
Obsessed with gadgetry
Lived in a lavat'ry
Sometimes he was in for a week.

There was a young lassie from Dorset
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Caro


There was a young lassie from Dorset
Who strained to get into a corset
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dai Cottomy
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There was a young lassie from Dorset
Who strained to get into a corset
A friend tried to help
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Douglas
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There was a young lassie from Dorset
Who strained to get into a corset
A friend tried to help
It just made her yelp
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waiting4atickle
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There was a young lassie from Dorset
Who strained to get into a corset
A friend tried to help
It just made her yelp
As said friend tried too hard to force it.


A soft-spoken salesman from Slough

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dai Cottomy
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A soft-spoken salesman from Slough
Had as a pet a Gloucester Spot sow
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Mobson
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By coincidence, I cooked Gloucester Old Spot sausages yesterday in a fresh sage, shallot and spinach sauce...Yum!!!


A soft-spoken salesman from Slough
Had as a pet a Gloucester Spot sow
When the butcher came calling
Edited by Mobson, Dec 7 2017, 10:26 AM.
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Douglas
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A soft-spoken salesman from Slough
Had as a pet a Gloucester Spot sow
When the butcher came calling
He thought it appalling
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May-Cee

A soft-spoken salesman from Slough
Had as a pet a Gloucester Spot sow
When the butcher came calling
He thought it appalling
Kate Bush, country girl, just shrieked "Wow!"

(On the 12" Veggie mix of this Limerick, it's actually -
"Wow!", "Wow!", "Wow!", "Wow!", "Wow!" )


To sort of answer Caro's sensible query about camogie and hurling...


Our national flag is green, white and daft
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waiting4atickle
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Our national flag is green, white and daft
And mustn't be flown from an orange shaft

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