Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Add Reply
Limericks
Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,813 Views)
caissier
Member Avatar
Administrator
waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Replies:
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar


She decided she'd buy a wee car
That would take her both nearby and far
A driving test first
But then a tyre burst
On the way to Lloret de Mar
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Waiting on Mr Dai! <whistles>
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


We were waiting on Mr Dai
No answer came the stern reply

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

We were waiting on Mr Dai
No answer came the stern reply
He's gone to a retreat
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

We were waiting on Mr Dai
No answer came the stern reply
He's gone to a retreat
In someone's country seat
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

We were waiting on Mr Dai
No answer came the stern reply
He's gone to a retreat
In someone's country seat
So didn't have time to say goodbye


When he returns to the fold
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


When he returns to the fold
He'll doubtless be dripping with gold

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

When he returns to the fold
He'll doubtless be dripping with gold
Unless I'm mistaken
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

When he returns to the fold
He'll doubtless be dripping with gold
Unless I'm mistaken
We'll not be forsaken
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

When he returns to the fold
He'll doubtless be dripping with gold
Unless I'm mistaken
We'll not be forsaken
He can't get away he's too old
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Let's focus on somebody new
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


Let's focus on somebody new
Like that woman who lived in a shoe

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

Let's focus on somebody new
Like that woman who lived in a shoe
Did she live a good life
Edited by Douglas, May 15 2018, 05:20 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

She decided she'd buy a wee car
That would take her both nearby and far
A driving test first
But then a tyre burst
Leaving the road covered in tar.

A bonny wee lass called Maree
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Oh ho! turn of page Caro? We've finished that one but lets do your first line after eh everybody?


Let's focus on somebody new
Like that woman who lived in a shoe
Did she live a good life?
Did she make a good wife?
Edited by Mobson, May 16 2018, 10:36 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Let's focus on somebody new
Like that woman who lived in a shoe
Did she live a good life?
Did she make a good wife?
I wouldn't bet on it, would you?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A bonny wee lass called Maree
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


A bonny wee lass called Maree
Who planned to go out on the spree

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

A bonny wee lass called Maree
Who planned to go out on the spree
She dressed in her best
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

A bonny wee lass called Maree
Who planned to go out on the spree
She dressed in her best
Diamonds at her breast
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A bonny wee lass called Maree
Who planned to go out on the spree
She dressed in her best
Diamonds at her breast
Danced with delight and shouted "I'm free!"
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A French notaire called Monsieur Beaucaire
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

A French notaire called Monsieur Beaucaire
Was once involved in a sordid affair
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar


A French notaire called Monsieur Beaucaire
Was once involved in a sordid affair
Involving a nanny
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

A French notaire called Monsieur Beaucaire
Was once involved in a sordid affair
Involving a nanny
Appropriately named Fanny
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A French notaire called Monsieur Beaucaire
Was once involved in a sordid affair
Involving a nanny
Appropriately named Fanny
Who drove him to the depths of despair
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

The once was a goldfish called Cleo
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

The once was a goldfish called Cleo
Who fancied a guppy called Theo
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

The once was a goldfish called Cleo
Who fancied a guppy called Theo
Though in separate tanks
Edited by Douglas, May 22 2018, 11:54 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

The once was a goldfish called Cleo
Who fancied a guppy called Theo
Though in separate tanks
On a sideboard at Franks
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

The once was a goldfish called Cleo
Who fancied a guppy called Theo
Though in separate tanks
On a sideboard at Franks
They managed to bring forth a Leo.

The trees and the bees come in spring
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


The trees and the bees come in spring
With the flowers and that kind of thing

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

The trees and the bees come in spring
With the flowers and that kind of thing
But now summer's here
Edited by Mobson, May 23 2018, 11:26 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

The trees and the bees come in spring
With the flowers and that kind of thing
But now summer's here
Let's have a cool beer
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


The trees and the bees come in spring
With the flowers and that kind of thing
But now summer's here
Let's have a cool beer
And hope that the bees do not sting.


The pub garden's a good place to be


Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

The pub garden's a good place to be
Especially if overlooking the sea
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

The pub garden's a good place to be
Especially if overlooking the sea
But the gulls are a pest
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

The pub garden's a good place to be
Especially if overlooking the sea
But the gulls are a pest
When you're dressed in your best
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

The pub garden's a good place to be
Especially if overlooking the sea
But the gulls are a pest
When you're dressed in your best
So best wear jeans and a 'tee'
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

We're expecting a scorcher on Sunday
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

We're expecting a scorcher on Sunday
And with luck it will last until Monday
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


We're expecting a scorcher on Sunday
And with luck it will last until Monday
I hear there'll be thunder

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

We're expecting a scorcher on Sunday
And with luck it will last until Monday
I hear there'll be thunder
But just where, I wonder
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

We're expecting a scorcher on Sunday
And with luck it will last until Monday
I hear there'll be thunder
But just where, I wonder
Whatever, it sounds like a fun day.


The first ice on the roads here today
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

The first ice on the roads here today
That's not what you'll find up this way
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

The first ice on the roads here today
That's not what you'll find up this way
It's warm and quite wet
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


The first ice on the roads here today
That's not what you'll find up this way
It's warm and quite wet
But there's no need to fret

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

The first ice on the roads here today
That's not what you'll find up this way
It's warm and quite wet
But there's no need to fret
For it's only the last day of May.

We can hope for fine weather in June
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

We can hope for fine weather in June
When the heat makes you sweat or swoon
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


We can hope for fine weather in June
When the heat makes you sweat or swoon
But will it be dry

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

We can hope for fine weather in June
When the heat makes you sweat or swoon
But will it be dry
Or just make us cry
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

We can hope for fine weather in June
When the heat makes you sweat or swoon
But will it be dry
Or just make us cry
We'll find that out all too soon.

it's not long now till the longest day
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


It's not long now till the longest day
But don't expect any overtime pay

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

It's not long now till the longest day
But don't expect any overtime pay
And whatever you do
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


It's not long now till the longest day
But don't expect any overtime pay
And whatever you do
Don't start sniffing glue

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

It's not long now till the longest day
But don't expect any overtime pay
And whatever you do
Don't start sniffing glue
Whatever you do!!!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

The Aussie's are here to play cricket
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


The Aussie's are here to play cricket
So we'll have to doctor the wicket

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

The Aussie's are here to play cricket
So we'll have to doctor the wicket
If we don't get it right
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar

The Aussie's are here to play cricket
So we'll have to doctor the wicket
If we don't get it right
They'll set it alight

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

The Aussie's are here to play cricket
So we'll have to doctor the wicket
If we don't get it right
They'll set it alight
And hit the ball into the thicket


In this warm weather, I keep wishing
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

In this warm weather, I keep wishing
I could just sod off and go fishing
Edited by Mobson, Jun 11 2018, 05:58 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


In this warm weather, I keep wishing
I could just sod off and go fishing
But there's work to be done

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

In this warm weather, I keep wishing
I could just sod off and go fishing
But there's work to be done
Which becomes before fun
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

In this warm weather, I keep wishing
I could just sod off and go fishing
But there's work to be done
Which comes before fun
Especially if you've no pot to pish in


Guess what, it's Bloomsday on Sat!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Guess what, it's Bloomsday on Sat!
Perhaps Molly will get a new hat
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


Guess what, it's Bloomsday on Sat!
Perhaps Molly will get a new hat
You've lost me, I fear

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

Guess what, it's Bloomsday on Sat!
Perhaps Molly will get a new hat
You've lost me, I fear.
It's James Joyce, my dear.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

Guess what, it's Bloomsday on Sat!
Perhaps Molly will get a new hat
You've lost me, I fear
It's James Joyce, my dear
As a Celt, Doug knows what's what


As a Dubliner, I get up to my tricks
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Guess what, it's Bloomsday on Sat!
Perhaps Molly will get a new hat
You've lost me, I fear.
It's James Joyce, my dear
Well I for one certainly knew that!
Edited by Mobson, Jun 12 2018, 10:18 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

An Irish novelist, short-story writer & poet
Edited by Mobson, Jun 12 2018, 10:22 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


As a Dubliner, I get up to my tricks
And write very weird limericks

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Weird happenings here! JJ's ghost at work!? ๐Ÿ‘ป
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


<laugh>

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

Yep, folks! I'm writing in Dublin - and the ghost of yer man is
playing tricks through my fingertips, in this the Bloomsday week!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

As a Dubliner, I get up to my tricks
And write very weird limericks
The ghost of Le Fanu
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

As a Dubliner, I get up to my tricks
And write very weird limericks
The ghost of Le Fanu
Of whom there were few
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

As a Dubliner, I get up to my tricks
And write very weird limericks
The ghost of Le Fanu
Of whom there were few
I will haunt anyone calls us Micks!


Talking of which... (That ain't the first line!)


I'm just after sorting my grave spot
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


I'm just after sorting my grave spot
Tho' it don't really matter one jot

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

I'm just after sorting my grave spot
Tho' it don't really matter one jot
I'll be dead I sure hope
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

I'm just after sorting my grave spot
Tho' it don't really matter one jot
I'll be dead I sure hope
Leaving others to cope
Edited by Mobson, Jun 16 2018, 04:36 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

I'm just after sorting my grave spot
Tho' it don't really matter one jot
I'll be dead I sure hope
Leaving others to cope
While I go off to somewhere quite hot
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Doctor Faust sold his soul to Old Nick
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Doctor Faust sold his soul to Old Nick
Yes Doctor Faust, the devil did trick
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Doctor Faust sold his soul to Old Nick
Yes Doctor Faust, the devil did trick
But after a while
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

Doctor Faust sold his soul to Old Nick
Yes Doctor Faust, the devil did trick
But after a while
With a satanic smile
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Doctor Faust sold his soul to Old Nick
Yes Doctor Faust, the devil did trick
But after a while
With a satanic smile
The devil smote Faust with his stick
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A data controller from Hants
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

A data controller from Hants
Was prone to respond with strong rants
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

A data controller from Hants
Was prone to respond with strong rants
To cool his distemper
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A data controller from Hants
Was prone to respond with strong rants
To cool his distemper
And calm his temper
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

A data controller from Hants
Was prone to respond with strong rants
To cool his distemper
And calm his temper
They put cooling gel down in his pants.

A dancer got down on her knees
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

A dancer got down on her knees
She was only trying to please
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A dancer got down on her knees
She was only trying to please
While she was down there
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

A dancer got down on her knees
She was only trying to please
While she was down there
She uttered a prayer
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A dancer got down on her knees
She was only trying to please
While she was down there
She uttered a prayer
To be delivered from a fatal disease
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There was an old man from Peru
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

There was an old man from Peru
Who never knew quite what to do
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


There was an old man from Peru
Who never knew quite what to do
He shillied and shallied

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There was an old man from Peru
Who never knew quite what to do
He shillied and shallied
Dillied and dallied
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · Mornington Crescent · Next Topic »
Add Reply