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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,847 Views)
caissier
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waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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In Tonga the boat's skipper was dead
They found him demised in his bed
His toes pointing North
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dai Cottomy
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In Tonga the boat's skipper was dead
They found him demised in his bed
His toes pointing North
His ghost sallied forth
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waiting4atickle
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In Tonga the boat's skipper was dead
They found him demised in his bed
His toes pointing North
His ghost sallied forth
And filled the crew members with dread.


The feta was fest'ring in the fridge

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Norm Deplume
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The feta was fest'ring in the fridge
And the captain was not on the bridge

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dai Cottomy
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The feta was fest'ring in the fridge
And the captain was not on the bridge
He was in the galley

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Norm Deplume
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The feta was fest'ring in the fridge
And the captain was not on the bridge
He was in the galley
With the cabin maid, Sally
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dai Cottomy
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The feta was fest'ring in the fridge
And the captain was not on the bridge
He was in the galley
With the cabin maid, Sally
Scoffing cold beer and a sandwich


When they'd finished they felt a bit frisky
Edited by dai Cottomy, Nov 17 2012, 04:32 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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When they'd finished they felt a bit frisky
So they got stuck into the whiskey

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Norm Deplume
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When they'd finished they felt a bit frisky
So they got stuck into the whiskey
It had good effects

Edited by Norm Deplume, Nov 18 2012, 06:07 PM.
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Mobson
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When they'd finished they felt a bit frisky
So they got stuck into the whiskey
It had good effects
(which means lots of sex)
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waiting4atickle
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When they'd finished they felt a bit frisky
So they got stuck into the whiskey
It had good effects
(which means lots of sex)
Tho' some of their antics were risky.


Be careful in the bordello

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dai Cottomy
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When they'd finished they felt a bit frisky
So they got stuck into the whiskey
It had good effects
(which means lots of sex)
But turned out to be rather risky.


After a while, the ship struck a rock





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dai Cottomy
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Be careful in the bordello
You might end up with a fellow

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waiting4atickle
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Be careful in the bordello
You might end up with a fellow
But play your cards right

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dai Cottomy
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Be careful in the bordello
You might end up with a fellow
But play your cards right
With luck he just might

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waiting4atickle
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Be careful in the bordello
You might end up with a fellow
But play your cards right
With luck he just might
Let you have a pluck on his cello.


He sat down and played his guitar

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Caro

He sat down and played his guitar
And made it sound like a sitar
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Norm Deplume
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He sat down and played his guitar
And made it sound like a sitar
Like George Harrison for sure
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dai Cottomy
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He sat down and played his guitar
And made it sound like a sitar
Like George Harrison for sure
Its tone was sweet and pure
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waiting4atickle
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He sat down and played his guitar
And made it sound like a sitar
Like George Harrison for sure
Its tone was sweet and pure
Although just a little bizarre.


If you meet a tiger with toothache

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dai Cottomy
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If you meet a tiger with toothache
Try feeding it a piece of rump steak

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waiting4atickle
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If you meet a tiger with toothache
Try feeding it a piece of rump steak
But whatever you do

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dai Cottomy
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If you meet a tiger with toothache
Try feeding it a piece of rump steak
But whatever you do
Don't let him eat you


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Caro

If you meet a tiger with toothache
Try feeding it a piece of rump steak
But whatever you do
Don't let him eat you
Unless you're cut up in a cake.


Even then, it might hurt his poor tum
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Norm Deplume
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Even then, it might hurt his poor tum
And think what it might do to his bum
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dai Cottomy
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Even then, it might hurt his poor tum
And think what it might do to his bum
It might give him piles
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tafkaj

Even then, it might hurt his poor tum,
And think what it might do to his bum;
It might give him piles,
Not welcoming smiles,
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dai Cottomy
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Even then, it might hurt his poor tum,
And think what it might do to his bum;
It might give him piles,
Not welcoming smiles,
And even make his willy go numb


Be kind to our four footed friends
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waiting4atickle
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Be kind to our four footed friends
When they do what nature intends

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dai Cottomy
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Be kind to our four footed friends
When they do what nature intends
Companions to Man

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Caro

Be kind to our four footed friends
When they do what nature intends
Companions to Man
Part of the clan
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Norm Deplume
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Be kind to our four footed friends
When they do what nature intends
Companions to Man
Part of the clan
As partners, our soul they do cleanse.


The big bubble will burst before long
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waiting4atickle
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The big bubble will burst before long
When poked with the point of a prong

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Norm Deplume
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The big bubble will burst before long
When poked with the point of a prong
The noise it will make
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waiting4atickle
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The big bubble will burst before long
When poked with the point of a prong
The noise it will make
Is certain to shake

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Mobson
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The big bubble will burst before long
When poked with the point of a prong
The noise it will make
Is certain to shake
Every building from here to Hong Kong
Edited by Mobson, Nov 25 2012, 09:41 PM.
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Mobson
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What a catastrophe that would be
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Mobson
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What a catastrophe that would be
Edited by Mobson, Nov 25 2012, 09:47 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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What a catastrophe that would be,
To discover you've run out of tea

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Norm Deplume
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What a catastrophe that would be,
To discover you've run out of tea.
No morning brew

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waiting4atickle
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What a catastrophe that would be,
To discover you've run out of tea.
No morning brew,
Just what would you do?

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Norm Deplume
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What a catastrophe that would be,
To discover you've run out of tea.
No morning brew,
Just what would you do?
She won't blame herself, she blames ME!



A soft-hearted man from South Shields
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dai Cottomy
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A soft-hearted man from South Shields
Took his girl for a walk in the fields
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waiting4atickle
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A soft-hearted man from South Shields
Took his girl for a walk in the fields
Behind the ears he kissed her

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Norm Deplume
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A soft-hearted man from South Shields
Took his girl for a walk in the fields
Behind the ears he kissed her
And wished it was her sister
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Mobson
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A soft-hearted man from South Shields
Took his girl for a walk in the fields
Behind the ears he kissed her
And wished it was her sister
But usually a sister never yields
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Mobson
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Whilst walking her up to the Alter
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Norm Deplume
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Whilst walking her up to the Alter
The bride's Dad was beginning to falter
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Mobson
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Whilst walking her up to the Alter
The bride's Dad was beginning to falter
Was this really the time
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waiting4atickle
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Whilst walking her up to the Alter
The bride's Dad was beginning to falter
Was this really the time
For these partners in crime
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Norm Deplume
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Whilst walking her up to the Alter
The bride's Dad was beginning to falter
Was this really the time
For these partners in crime
To be doing things they didn't oughta!


The bride was a blonde, name of Sharon





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Mobson
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The bride was a blonde, name of Sharon
The groom was a fully-fledged Baron
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waiting4atickle
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The bride was a blonde, name of Sharon
The groom was a fully-fledged Baron
And by some kind of fluke

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Norm Deplume
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The bride was a blonde, name of Sharon
The groom was a fully-fledged Baron
And by some kind of fluke
Got promoted to 'Duke'
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waiting4atickle
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The bride was a blonde, name of Sharon
The groom was a fully-fledged Baron
And by some kind of fluke
Got promoted to 'Duke'
Then ran off with the chambermaid, Karen.


If you keep the place spick and span



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Norm Deplume
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If you keep the place spick and span
Then please don't invite dear old Stan
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tafkaj

If you keep the place spick and span
Then please don't invite dear old Stan;
His personal hygiene
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dai Cottomy
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If you keep the place spick and span
Then please don't invite dear old Stan;
His personal hygiene
Is close to obscene
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waiting4atickle
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If you keep the place spick and span
Then please don't invite dear old Stan;
His personal hygiene
Is close to obscene
He's a very dirty old man.


The old lady needs a new guv'nor

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dai Cottomy
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The old lady needs a new guv'nor
Mark Carney will shut the stable door

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Norm Deplume
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The old lady needs a new guv'nor
Mark Carney will shut the stable door
The money tree has no more fruit
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Norm Deplume
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The old lady needs a new guv'nor
Mark Carney will shut the stable door
The money tree has no more fruit
Money lenders are drunk as a newt
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waiting4atickle
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The old lady needs a new guv'nor
Mark Carney will shut the stable door
The money tree has no more fruit
Money lenders are drunk as a newt
And if this is a limerick, I'm a south'ner.


Once more unto the breach they went

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Mobson
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Once more unto the breach they went
Although exhausted and utterly spent
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waiting4atickle
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Once more unto the breach they went
Although exhausted and utterly spent
They girded their loins

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dai Cottomy
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Once more unto the breach they went
Although exhausted and utterly spent
They girded their loins
And tossed a few coins

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Mobson
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Once more unto the breach they went
Although exhausted and utterly spent
They girded their loins
And tossed a few coins
To the naughty hookers in the town of Brent
Edited by Mobson, Dec 4 2012, 10:43 PM.
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Mobson
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I must go down to the sea again
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Norm Deplume
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I must go down to the sea again
To be with all those sailor men
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dai Cottomy
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I must go down to the sea again
To face once more a gale force ten
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waiting4atickle
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I must go down to the sea again
To be with all those sailor men.
We'll have a gay time



I must go down to the sea again
To face once more a gale force ten
And retrieve my trunks

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Mobson
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I must go down to the sea again
To be with all those sailor men.
We'll have a gay time
In the steamy brine



I must go down to the sea again
To face once more a gale force ten
And retrieve my trunks
From the local drunks



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Norm Deplume
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I must go down to the sea again
To be with all those sailor men.
We'll have a gay time
In the steamy brine
With the local 'Queen' they call Len



I must go down to the sea again
To face once more a gale force ten
And retrieve my trunks
From the local drunks
Who don't know when to say "When"




The driftwood was chafing my knees


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dai Cottomy
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The driftwood was chafing my knees
And the water was starting to freeze


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waiting4atickle
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The driftwood was chafing my knees
And the water was starting to freeze.
The flotsam and jetsam

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Norm Deplume
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The driftwood was chafing my knees
And the water was starting to freeze.
The flotsam and jetsam
which I went out to getsome
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waiting4atickle
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The driftwood was chafing my knees
And the water was starting to freeze.
The flotsam and jetsam
which I went out to getsome
Contained not a smidgen of cheese.


When Brutus stood up to praise Caesar

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dai Cottomy
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When Brutus stood up to praise Caesar
No one knew he would knife the old geezer

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waiting4atickle
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When Brutus stood up to praise Caesar
No one knew he would knife the old geezer.
Caesar let out a yell

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Mobson
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When Brutus stood up to praise Caesar
No one knew he would knife the old geezer.
Caesar let out a yell
Landing where he fell
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Caro

When Brutus stood up to praise Caesar
No one knew he would knife the old geezer.
Caesar let out a yell
Landing where he fell
And they packed him up quick in the freezer.


The best things in life, they are free.
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Norm Deplume
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The best things in life, they are free.
Like frollicking down on the Lea
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waiting4atickle
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The best things in life, they are free.
Like frollicking down on the Lea
But a pint of good ale

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dai Cottomy
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The best things in life, they are free.
Like frollicking down on the Lea
But a pint of good ale
Served up in a pail

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Norm Deplume
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The best things in life, they are free.
Like frollicking down on the Lea
But a pint of good ale
Served up in a pail
All that makes you do is want to pee



At the Hammersmith Palais de Dance
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Mobson
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At the Hammersmith Palais de Dance
They're imitating moves made in France
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Norm Deplume
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At the Hammersmith Palais de Dance
They're imitating moves made in France
Would that be 'Arabesque'?
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dai Cottomy
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At the Hammersmith Palais de Dance
They're imitating moves made in France
Would that be 'Arabesque'?
Let's ring the help desk
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waiting4atickle
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At the Hammersmith Palais de Dance
They're imitating moves made in France
Would that be 'Arabesque'?
Let's ring the help desk
And ask questions about Rosencrantz.


A young prince who was full of self-doubt

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dai Cottomy
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A young prince who was full of self-doubt
Wanted to know what life was about

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Mobson
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A young prince who was full of self-doubt
Wanted to know what life was about
By ruminating too much

Edited by Mobson, Dec 9 2012, 08:30 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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A young prince who was full of self-doubt
Wanted to know what life was about
By ruminating too much
He was quite out of touch
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Mobson
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A young prince who was full of self-doubt
Wanted to know what life was about
By ruminating too much
He was quite out of touch
Took himself & most of his foes all out!
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Mobson
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As fictional as all this must seem
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dai Cottomy
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As fictional as all this must seem
It's probably all just a dream
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waiting4atickle
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As fictional as all this must seem
It's probably all just a dream
Or rather, a nightmare

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dai Cottomy
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As fictional as all this must seem
It's probably all just a dream
Or rather, a nightmare
Featuring Tony Blair
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Norm Deplume
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As fictional as all this must seem
It's probably all just a dream
Or rather, a nightmare
Featuring Tony Blair
With Cherie, all peaches and Cream... <yikes> <huh????> <eh??> <(blooming parasites)>
Edited by Norm Deplume, Dec 11 2012, 05:02 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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I'm sure the ball went in the net
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waiting4atickle
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I'm sure the ball went in the net
The ref must be a blind old get

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