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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,844 Views)
caissier
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waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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Mobson
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Snowing again outside. Flipping Heck!
Get t'shovel outta shed and clear the deck
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Norm Deplume
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Snowing again outside. Flipping Heck!
Get t'shovel outta shed and clear the deck
Must defrost the car
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waiting4atickle
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Snowing again outside. Flipping Heck!
Get t'shovel outta shed and clear the deck
Must defrost the car
Or won't get very far

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Caro

Snowing again outside. Flipping Heck!
Get t'shovel outta shed and clear the deck
Must defrost the car
Or won't get very far
Don't want to end up just a wreck.

The tsunami came in with a whoosh [it didn't actually here - another false alarm]
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waiting4atickle
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The tsunami came in with a whoosh
And gave us one hell of a douche

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Caro

The tsunami came in with a whoosh
And gave us one hell of a douche
We all ran for cover
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waiting4atickle
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The tsunami came in with a whoosh
And gave us one hell of a douche
We all ran for cover
Falling over each other

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Mobson
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The tsunami came in with a whoosh
And gave us one hell of a douche
We all ran for cover
Falling over each other
Thus spoiling our lunch of fattoush!
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Mobson
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China celebrates its new Year of the Snake
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Caro

China celebrates its new Year of the Snake
With fireworks, excitement and cake
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Norm Deplume
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China celebrates its new Year of the Snake
With fireworks, excitement and cake
And dragons amok
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Mobson
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China celebrates its new Year of the Snake
With fireworks, excitement and cake
And dragons amok
Street food from a wok
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Norm Deplume
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China celebrates its new Year of the Snake
With fireworks, excitement and cake
And dragons amok
Street food from a wok
But please don't be fooled, it's a fake


Lee Shang Ping has control overall
Edited by Norm Deplume, Feb 8 2013, 03:31 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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Lee Shang Ping has control overall
He wears it in Summer and Fall

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dai Cottomy
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Lee Shang Ping has control overall
He wears it in Summer and Fall
But when it gets wet

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waiting4atickle
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Lee Shang Ping has control overall
He wears it in Summer and Fall
But when it gets wet
He tends to forget

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tafkaj

Lee Shang Ping has control overall
He wears it in Summer and Fall
But when it gets wet
He tends to forget
That, like Hitler, he's only one ball.

*******************************************

Now cycling's a popular sport
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dai Cottomy
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Now cycling's a popular sport
As long as you avoid getting caught
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Caro

Now cycling's a popular sport
As long as you avoid getting caught
It builds up strong legs
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waiting4atickle
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Now cycling's a popular sport
As long as you avoid getting caught
It builds up strong legs
But makes holes in your kegs

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Norm Deplume
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Now cycling's a popular sport
As long as you avoid getting caught
It builds up strong legs
But makes holes in your kegs
Leaving many-a-mother, quite fraught



The Sergeant said "Move along Please"
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waiting4atickle
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The Sergeant said "Move along Please"
"There's no call to get down on your knees"

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Norm Deplume
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The Sergeant said "Move along Please"
"There's no call to get down on your knees"
"Just move all your bums"
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Mobson
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The Sergeant said "Move along Please"
"There's no call to get down on your knees"
"Just move all your bums"
"And draw in your tums"

Edited by Mobson, Feb 11 2013, 07:15 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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The Sergeant said "Move along Please"
"There's no call to get down on your knees"
"Just move all your bums"
"And draw in your tums"
And then started to do a striptease.


A feisty fan dancer called Fifi

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Norm Deplume
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A feisty fan dancer called Fifi
Liked her sausages to be beefy
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waiting4atickle
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A feisty fan dancer called Fifi
Liked her sausages to be beefy
She'd have toad in the hole

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dai Cottomy
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A feisty fan dancer called Fifi
Liked her sausages to be beefy
She'd have toad in the hole
If she'd been a mole

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Mobson
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A feisty fan dancer called Fifi
Liked her sausages to be beefy
She'd have toad in the hole
If she'd been a mole
She'd eat something green'n'leafy
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Mobson
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Percy Penguin was feeling rather sanguine
Edited by Mobson, Feb 12 2013, 02:59 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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Percy Penguin was feeling rather sanguine
When he discovered he had gangrene
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Mobson
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Percy Penguin was feeling rather sanguine
When he discovered he had gangrene
In a delicate place
Edited by Mobson, Feb 12 2013, 05:26 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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Percy Penguin was feeling rather sanguine
When he discovered he had gangrene
In a delicate place
On the side of his face

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dai Cottomy
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Percy Penguin was feeling rather sanguine
When he discovered he had gangrene
In a delicate place
On the side of his face
Which is unfortunate for a penguin

For an otter it doesn't matter
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waiting4atickle
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For an otter it doesn't matter
If their mate's as mad as a hatter

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Mobson
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For an otter it doesn't matter
If their mate's as mad as a hatter
Monogamy is rare
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dai Cottomy
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For an otter it doesn't matter
If their mate's as mad as a hatter
Monogamy is rare
For the Kodiak bear
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Mobson
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For an otter it doesn't matter
If their mate's as mad as a hatter
Monogamy is rare
For the Kodiak bear
So long as he doesn't get any fatter!
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Mobson
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After pancakes it's time to get 'ashed'
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Norm Deplume
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After pancakes it's time to get 'ashed'
To the Vicar's place we deftly dashed
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Mobson
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After pancakes it's time to get 'ashed'
To the Vicar's place we deftly dashed
We went at full throttle
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Norm Deplume
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After pancakes it's time to get 'ashed'
To the Vicar's place we deftly dashed
We went at full throttle
Before he emptied the bottle
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Mobson
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After pancakes it's time to get 'ashed'
To the Vicar's place we deftly dashed
We went at full throttle
Before he emptied the bottle
And got thoroughly, utterly mashed
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Mobson
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For Valentine's, I'm spending the day
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Caro

For Valentine's, I'm spending the day
Having a good old roll in the hay
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dai Cottomy
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For Valentine's, I'm spending the day
Having a good old roll in the hay
Followed by a snooze
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waiting4atickle
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For Valentine's, I'm spending the day
Having a good old roll in the hay
Followed by a snooze
'Fore I polish my shoes

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Caro

For Valentine's, I'm spending the day
Having a good old roll in the hay
Followed by a snooze
'Fore I polish my shoes
And dance and flirt the night away.


I think I'll stop watching the cricket
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dai Cottomy
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I think I'll stop watching the cricket
Ye gods! My hair looks like a thicket
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tafkaj

I think I'll stop watching the cricket -
Ye gods! My hair looks like a thicket,
'Cos scratching my head
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waiting4atickle
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I think I'll stop watching the cricket -
Ye gods! My hair looks like a thicket,
'Cos scratching my head
Has made my scalp red

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Caro

I think I'll stop watching the cricket -
Ye gods! My hair looks like a thicket,
'Cos scratching my head
While checking with dread
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Mobson
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I think I'll stop watching the cricket -
Ye gods! My hair looks like a thicket,
'Cos scratching my head
And not getting to bed
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waiting4atickle
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Any more suggestions for the fourth line? <whistles>

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dai Cottomy
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Any more suggestions for the fourth fifth line?

I think I'll stop watching the cricket
Ye gods! My hair looks like a thicket,
'Cos scratching my head
And not getting to bed
I've got one, I hope no one will nick it <whistles>


I have to go, can someone start a new one?
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tafkaj

I have to go, can someone start a new one?
I must away now to Lake Huron
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dai Cottomy
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I have to go, can someone start a new one?
I must away now to Lake Huron
Got to meet a Mountie
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Mobson
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I have to go, can someone start a new one?
I must away now to Lake Huron
Got to meet a Mountie
He will be my bounty
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dai Cottomy
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I have to go, can someone start a new one?
I must away now to Lake Huron
Got to meet a Mountie
He will be my bounty
Cricket's over, Caro will tell us who won



D.I.D. today with old Aggers
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Mobson
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D.I.D. today with old Aggers
Who didn't pull out any daggers
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dai Cottomy
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D.I.D. today with old Aggers
Who didn't pull out any daggers
He bowled maidens over
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tafkaj

D.I.D. today with old Aggers
Who didn't pull out any daggers
He bowled maidens over
In Stoke and Bolsover
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Mobson
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D.I.D. today with old Aggers
Who didn't pull out any daggers
He bowled maidens over
In Stoke and Bolsover
And even placated the naggers
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Mobson
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Goodbye to the Good Life and Briers
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tafkaj

Goodbye to the Good Life and Briers -
We're left with Ray Winstones 'n' Danny Dyers;
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Norm Deplume
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Goodbye to the Good Life and Briers -
We're left with Ray Winstones 'n' Danny Dyers;
Shows it pays not to smoke
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Mobson
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Goodbye to the Good Life and Briers -
We're left with Ray Winstones 'n' Danny Dyers;
Shows it pays not to smoke
Be a healthier bloke
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Caro

Goodbye to the Good Life and Briers -
We're left with Ray Winstones 'n' Danny Dyers;
Shows it pays not to smoke
Be a healthier bloke
If he hadn't kept lighting those fires. [Pronounced in NZ style with diphthong]


Each day an old c'leb kicks the bucket [Two of our well-known broadcasters died in the last fortnight and another one has said he is seriously ill with cancer. And constant deaths of film stars from my (and your) youth.]


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waiting4atickle
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Each day an old c'leb kicks the bucket
Tho' usually we just overlook it

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dai Cottomy
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Each day an old c'leb kicks the bucket
Tho' usually we just overlook it
But once in a while

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Norm Deplume
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Each day an old c'leb kicks the bucket
Tho' usually we just overlook it
But once in a while
With a little guile
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Mobson
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Each day an old c'leb kicks the bucket
Tho' usually we just overlook it
But once in a while
With a little guile
We remember so then we'll discuss it.
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Mobson
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RIP dear Elspet Jean Gray
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Norm Deplume
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RIP dear Elspet Jean Gray
Made audiences laugh ev'ry day
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Mobson
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RIP dear Elspet Jean Gray
Made audiences laugh ev'ry day
Also called Baroness Rix
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Norm Deplume
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RIP dear Elspet Jean Gray
Made audiences laugh ev'ry day
Also called Baroness Rix
Post war prominent in Pics
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tafkaj

RIP dear Elspet Jean Gray,
Made audiences laugh ev'ry day;
Also called Baroness Rix,
Post war prominent in Pics -
Even the greats have their day.

**************************************

When Sir Paul took a trip on a bus
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Norm Deplume
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When Sir Paul took a trip on a bus
He fell over and started to cuss





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Mobson
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When Sir Paul took a trip on a bus
He fell over and started to cuss
He was told to pipe down
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dai Cottomy
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When Sir Paul took a trip on a bus
He fell over and started to cuss
He was told to pipe down
Which caused him to frown
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Norm Deplume
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When Sir Paul took a trip on a bus
He fell over and started to cuss
He was told to pipe down
Which caused him to frown
and say "I'm OK, What's all the fuss"?



A young vicar from north of South Shields
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dai Cottomy
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A young vicar from north of South Shields
Took his girl friend for a walk in the fields
Edited by dai Cottomy, Feb 24 2013, 04:01 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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A young vicar from north of South Shields
Took his girl friend for a walk in the fields
And kissed her behind

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dai Cottomy
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A young vicar from north of South Shields
Took his girl friend for a walk in the fields
And kissed her behind
Any bush he could find

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Mobson
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A young vicar from north of South Shields
Took his girl friend for a walk in the fields
And kissed her behind
Any bush he could find
Tickling her fancy 'til she finally yields
Edited by Mobson, Feb 26 2013, 01:12 AM.
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Mobson
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The creator of the Daleks has died
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Norm Deplume
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The creator of the Daleks has died
"No more exterminations"? they sighed
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Norm Deplume
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The creator of the Daleks has died
"No more exterminations" they sighed
Edited by Norm Deplume, Feb 26 2013, 11:35 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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The creator of the Daleks has died
"No more exterminations" they sighed
But the Doctor lives on

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Norm Deplume
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The creator of the Daleks has died
"No more exterminations" they sighed
But the Doctor lives on...
...and on and on and on
'Bout time he went somewhere to hide.


Edited by Norm Deplume, Mar 1 2013, 04:59 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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Did I mention 'bout 'Larry The Lump'
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waiting4atickle
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Did I mention 'bout 'Larry The Lump'
He's given old Harry the hump

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Norm Deplume
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Did I mention 'bout 'Larry The Lump'
He's given old Harry the hump
.................
.................
Now he'll never climb over that bump

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waiting4atickle
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That's cheating, Norm - this is the one line at a time version.

Did I mention 'bout 'Larry The Lump'
He's given old Harry the hump
He blew on his horn
.................
Now he'll never climb over that bump

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Norm Deplume
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At my age, one is allowed the occasional 'cheat' Tick ............ ;)
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Mobson
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That's cheating, Norm - this is the one line at a time version.

Well then, I'm guilty too - see post 415! <doh>


Did I mention 'bout 'Larry The Lump'
He's given old Harry the hump
He blew on his horn
All night until morn .................
Now he'll never climb over that bump

Edited by Mobson, Mar 3 2013, 10:47 PM.
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Mobson
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It's perfectly clear that you must adhere
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Caro

It's perfectly clear that you must adhere
To the rules which are perfectly clear


(W4at is braver than me - I wanted to complain about that too. There's lots of times I'd like to add the line I fancy, but you can't.)
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waiting4atickle
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It's perfectly clear that you must adhere
To the rules which are perfectly clear
If you come unstuck

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Caro

It's perfectly clear that you must adhere
To the rules which are perfectly clear
If you come unstuck
It all goes a-muck
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