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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,843 Views)
caissier
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waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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tafkaj

It's perfectly clear that you must adhere
To the rules which are perfectly clear
If you come unstuck
It all goes a-muck
And you're sure to come over all queer.

***********************************************

So, who will become the next Pope?
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Norm Deplume
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It's perfectly clear that you must adhere
To the rules which are perfectly clear
If you come unstuck
It all goes a-muck
And Tick and Caro will have you in fear!



If you don't bend the rules, life gets dull
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waiting4atickle
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So, who will become the next Pope?
He'll be called Alexander, I hope

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Norm Deplume
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So, who will become the next Pope?
He'll be called Alexander, I hope
The UK has no vote

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dai Cottomy
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So, who will become the next Pope?
He'll be called Alexander, I hope
The UK has no vote
He resigned, the old scrote

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tafkaj

So, who will become the next Pope?
He'll be called Alexander, I hope
The UK has no vote
He resigned, the old scrote -
I bet he now feels quite a dope.

**************************************

From Russia With Love is a film
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dai Cottomy
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From Russia With Love is a film
About the man licensed to kill'em
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tafkaj

From Russia With Love is a film
About the man licensed to kill'em
With a Walt' PPK
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dai Cottomy
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From Russia With Love is a film
About the man licensed to kill'em
With a Walt' PPK
And girls with whom to play
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Norm Deplume
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From Russia With Love is a film
About the man licensed to kill'em
With a Walt' PPK
And girls with whom to play
Is James Bond's middle name Willem?




I knew Basildon, James Bond's younger brother
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Mobson
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I knew Basildon, James Bond's younger brother
Who when young, James Bond tried to smother
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Norm Deplume
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I knew Basildon, James Bond's younger brother
Who when young, James Bond tried to smother
With a pillow that was handy
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dai Cottomy
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I knew Basildon, James Bond's younger brother
Who when young, James Bond tried to smother
With a pillow that was handy
A girl called Mandy
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Norm Deplume
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I knew Basildon, James Bond's younger brother
Who when young, James Bond tried to smother
With a pillow that was handy
A girl called Mandy
He did not need any other


A pork butcher down Kensington way
Edited by Norm Deplume, Mar 7 2013, 05:17 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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A pork butcher down Kensington way
Had a nice bit of crackling, they say

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Mobson
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A pork butcher down Kensington way
Had a nice bit of crackling, they say
Organic porcine
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waiting4atickle
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A pork butcher down Kensington way
Had a nice bit of crackling, they say
Organic porcine
But never a swine

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Mobson
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A pork butcher down Kensington way
Had a nice bit of crackling, they say
Organic porcine
But never a swine
Makes a feast at the end of the day
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Mobson
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Now its down to one rasher a day
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tafkaj

Now its down to one rasher a day,
Or so the scaremongers will say
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dai Cottomy
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Now its down to one rasher a day,
Or so the scaremongers will say
The nitrates will get you
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Norm Deplume
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Now its down to one rasher a day,
Or so the scaremongers will say
The nitrates will get you
Goodness knows what you'll do
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Norm Deplume
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Now its down to one rasher a day,
Or so the scaremongers will say
The nitrates will get you
Goodness knows what you'll do
So 'fight the good fight', come what may

If it all comes to nothing, so what?
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dai Cottomy
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If it all comes to nothing, so what?
It's no good moaning about your lot
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waiting4atickle
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If it all comes to nothing, so what?
It's no good moaning about your lot
Just get out on your bike <tati>

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dai Cottomy
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If it all comes to nothing, so what?
It's no good moaning about your lot
Just get out on your bike <tati>
Or go for a hike
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waiting4atickle
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If it all comes to nothing, so what?
It's no good moaning about your lot
Just get out on your bike
Or go for a hike
And be thankful for all that you've got.


I met a fierce beast from the east

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Caro

I met a fierce beast from the east
He eyed me in view of a feast
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waiting4atickle
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I met a fierce beast from the east
He eyed me in view of a feast
I froze in my tracks

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rumbaba
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I met a fierce beast from the east
He eyed me in view of a feast
I froze in my tracks
played a tune on my sax
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Norm Deplume
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I met a fierce beast from the east
He eyed me in view of a feast
I froze in my tracks
played a tune on my sax
And all of my fears simply ceased.



I received my free sample by post
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Caro

I received my free sample by post,
An invite to meet with a ghost
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Norm Deplume
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I received my free sample by post,
An invite to meet with a ghost
I shuddered to think
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waiting4atickle
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I received my free sample by post,
An invite to meet with a ghost
I shuddered to think
What the price of a drink

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Norm Deplume
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I received my free sample by post,
An invite to meet with a ghost
I shuddered to think
What the price of a drink
Will do for our Sunday roast.



Have a rest, it will make you feel good
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rumbaba
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Have a rest, it will make you feel good
put your feet up, you know that you should
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tafkaj

Have a rest, it will make you feel good,
Put your feet up, you know that you should;
Cos running around
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dai Cottomy
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Have a rest, it will make you feel good,
Put your feet up, you know that you should;
Cos running around
All over the ground
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tafkaj

Have a rest, it will make you feel good,
Put your feet up, you know that you should;
Cos running around
All over the ground
Will only make you eat pud.

***************************************

Though my guitar does gently weep
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dai Cottomy
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Though my guitar does gently weep
It can put an audience to sleep
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Norm Deplume
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Though my guitar does gently weep
It can put an audience to sleep.
When I play the blues
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Mobson
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Though my guitar does gently weep
It can put an audience to sleep.
When I play the blues
in a way that I chose
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waiting4atickle
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Though my guitar does gently weep
It can put an audience to sleep.
When I play the blues
in a way that I chose
It brings to mind Uriah Heep.

In between a place and hard rock

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dai Cottomy
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In between a place and hard rock
I met my true love at two o'clock


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Norm Deplume
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In between a place and hard rock
I met my true love at two o'clock
It was raining real hard
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dai Cottomy
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In between a place and hard rock
I met my true love at two o'clock
It was raining real hard
I played my trump card
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Caro

In between a place and hard rock
I met my true love at two o'clock
It was raining real hard
I played my trump card
If she fell I'd buy a new frock.


There once was a girl that I loved
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Norm Deplume
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There once was a girl that I loved
Whom I cooed and I turtle doved
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waiting4atickle
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There once was a girl that I loved
Whom I cooed and I turtle doved
But the billing and cooing

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Caro

There once was a girl that I loved
Whom I cooed and I turtle doved
But the billing and cooing
Turned out to be mooing
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dai Cottomy
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There once was a girl that I loved
Whom I cooed and I turtle doved
But the billing and cooing
Turned out to be mooing
Her mother arrived, out I got shoved.


"There's many a slip twixt cup and lip"




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waiting4atickle
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"There's many a slip twixt cup and lip"
When your arthritis is giving you gyp

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Mobson
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"There's many a slip twixt cup and lip"
When your arthritis is giving you gyp
Just gird up your loins
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dai Cottomy
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"There's many a slip twixt cup and lip"
When your arthritis is giving you gyp
Just gird up your loins
And donate your coins
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Mobson
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"There's many a slip twixt cup and lip"
When your arthritis is giving you gyp
Just gird up your loins
And donate your coins
To taking that healing Lourdes trip
Edited by Mobson, Mar 22 2013, 01:57 PM.
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Mobson
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Many believe in "taking the water"
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Norm Deplume
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Many believe in "taking the water"
With a single malt, you didn't oughta
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waiting4atickle
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Many believe in "taking the water"
With a single malt, you didn't oughta
Some take it on the rocks

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Norm Deplume
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Many believe in "taking the water"
With a single malt, you didn't oughta
Some take it on the rocks
While standing in their socks
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Mobson
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Many believe in "taking the water"
With a single malt, you didn't oughta
Some take it on the rocks
While standing in their socks
Making them look a lot shorter
Edited by Mobson, Mar 25 2013, 03:15 AM.
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Mobson
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Winter's returned with a vengence
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rumbaba
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Winter's returned with a vengeance
the current weather patterns make no sense
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tafkaj

Winter's returned with a vengeance -
The current weather patterns make no sense;
Livestock is struggling
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rumbaba
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Winter's returned with a vengeance -
The current weather patterns make no sense;
Livestock is struggling
accountants are juggling
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tafkaj

Winter's returned with a vengeance -
The current weather patterns make no sense;
Livestock is struggling,
Accountants are juggling
Th'ecomomy's few pounds and pence.

*****************************************

I don't think it's fair to complain
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rumbaba
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I don't think it's fair to complain
if your life goals are hard to attain
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Mobson
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I don't think it's fair to complain
if your life goals are hard to attain
No-one said it was easy
Edited by Mobson, Mar 26 2013, 04:45 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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I don't think it's fair to complain
if your life goals are hard to attain
No-one said it was easy
Not all of life is 'breezy'
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Norm Deplume
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I don't think it's fair to complain
if your life goals are hard to attain
No-one said it was easy
Not all of life is 'breezy'
So I don't think I'll be moving to Spain



A man I once knew in West Ham
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waiting4atickle
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A man I once knew in West Ham
Thought he was the King of Siam

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Mobson
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A man I once knew in West Ham
Thought he was the King of Siam
He looked like Yul Brynner
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Norm Deplume
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A man I once knew in West Ham
Thought he was the King of Siam
He looked like Yul Brynner
(but a liitle bit thinner)
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Mobson
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A man I once knew in West Ham
Thought he was the King of Siam
He looked like Yul Brynner
(but a liitle bit thinner)
'Cos he didn't like eating Spam
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Mobson
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Must make buns with a cross today
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waiting4atickle
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Must make buns with a cross today
You could try the old-fashioned way

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Norm Deplume
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Must make buns with a cross today
You could try the old-fashioned way
Served warm with thick butter
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dai Cottomy
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Must make buns with a cross today
You could try the old-fashioned way
Served warm with thick butter
Could cause heart flutter :'(
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Caro

Must make buns with a cross today
You could try the old-fashioned way
Served warm with thick butter
Could cause heart flutter :'(
But only if et by the tray.

It's chocolates that do the heart harm
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Mobson
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"But only if et by the tray." ? <wink>


It's chocolates that do the heart harm
tho' valeric acids help keep us calm
Edited by Mobson, Mar 31 2013, 04:08 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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It's chocolates that do the heart harm
tho' valeric acids helps keep us calm
So pass the Milk Tray http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KLJQ4ukhOw
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Caro

It's chocolates that do the heart harm
tho' valeric acids helps keep us calm
So pass the Milk Tray http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KLJQ4ukhOw
Just take two a day

Quote:
 
"But only if et by the tray." ? <wink>
"Eaten by the tray-load", but that didn't fit


Edited by Caro, Apr 1 2013, 12:24 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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It's chocolates that do the heart harm
tho' valeric acids helps keep us calm
So pass the Milk Tray http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KLJQ4ukhOw
Just take two a day
Then you won't have to sound the alarm


Summer's here! The clocks have gone forward




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Norm Deplume
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Summer's here! The clocks have gone forward
but it's too cold to venture shoreward
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waiting4atickle
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Summer's here! The clocks have gone forward
but it's too cold to venture shoreward
Hunker down in your bunk

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Caro

Summer's here! The clocks have gone forward
but it's too cold to venture shoreward
Hunker down in your bunk
Act just like a monk
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waiting4atickle
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Summer's here! The clocks have gone forward
but it's too cold to venture shoreward
Hunker down in your bunk
Act just like a monk
And stoke up the fire with more wood.


With the sun blazing down from the sky

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dai Cottomy
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With the sun blazing down from the sky
I suddenly found I could fly

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Caro

With the sun blazing down from the sky
I suddenly found I could fly
I whooped and I swooped
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waiting4atickle
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With the sun blazing down from the sky
I suddenly found I could fly
I whooped and I swooped
Until I was pooped

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Norm Deplume
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With the sun blazing down from the sky
I suddenly found I could fly
I whooped and I swooped
Until I was pooped
Woke up, 'twas a dream, morn was nigh!



My dreams are unusually strange
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Mobson
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My dreams are unusually strange
And cover an extraordinary range

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Norm Deplume
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My dreams are unusually strange
And cover an extraordinary range
From banal to exotic
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dai Cottomy
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My dreams are unusually strange
And cover an extraordinary range
From banal to exotic
And sometimes erotic
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Norm Deplume
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My dreams are unusually strange
And cover an extraordinary range
From banal to exotic
And sometimes erotic
'twould be nice to be 'Norm' for a change


Last night I dreamt I'd been Knighted
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tafkaj

Last night I dreamt I'd been Knighted
By Th'Queen, who was somewhat afrighted
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dai Cottomy
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Last night I dreamt I'd been Knighted
By Th'Queen, who was somewhat afrighted
I got down on my knee
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tafkaj

Last night I dreamt I'd been Knighted
By Th'Queen, who was somewhat afrighted
I got down on my knee
And she said to me:
"

<laugh>
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dai Cottomy
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Last night I dreamt I'd been Knighted
By Th'Queen, who was somewhat afrighted
I got down on my knee
And she said to me:
"Watch out for the sword, I'm rather short-sighted".


When I woke up, I felt for my ears

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Norm Deplume
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When I woke up, I felt for my ears
They were there, which allayed all my fears
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Mobson
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When I woke up, I felt for my ears
They were there, which allayed all my fears
I was in quite a sweat
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