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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,842 Views)
caissier
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waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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When I woke up, I felt for my ears
They were there, which allayed all my fears
I was in quite a sweat
My nightshirt all wet
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Mobson
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When I woke up, I felt for my ears
They were there, which allayed all my fears
I was in quite a sweat
My nightshirt all wet
From copious amounts of my tears....

**********************************

Now I've becalmed myself with a drink
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dai Cottomy
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Now I've becalmed myself with a drink
And feel, on the whole, in the pink
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waiting4atickle
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Now I've becalmed myself with a drink
And feel, on the whole, in the pink
I'll just have one more

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Mobson
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Now I've becalmed myself with a drink
And feel, on the whole, in the pink
I'll just have one more
say goodbye to the whore
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dai Cottomy
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Now I've becalmed myself with a drink
And feel, on the whole, in the pink
I'll just have one more
say goodbye to the whore
And vomit the lot into the sink.

Refreshed, I jump into the shower

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waiting4atickle
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Refreshed, I jump into the shower
No longer a wilting flower

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Mobson
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Refreshed, I jump into the shower
No longer a wilting flower
Libido restored
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Norm Deplume
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Refreshed, I jump into the shower
No longer a wilting flower
Libido restored
My apples are cored
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Caro

Refreshed, I jump into the shower
No longer a wilting flower
Libido restored
My apples are cored
I'm feeling the effects of power.

Our apples are pureed and juiced
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waiting4atickle
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Our apples are pureed and juiced
Guaranteed to give you a boost
---------------
---------------
----------------------------

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dai Cottomy
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Our apples are pureed and juiced
Guaranteed to give you a boost
Go on, have a sip!
---------------
----------------------------
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waiting4atickle
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Our apples are pureed and juiced
Guaranteed to give you a boost
Go on, have a sip!
It won't give you the pip

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dai Cottomy
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Our apples are pureed and juiced
Guaranteed to give you a boost
Go on, have a sip!
It won't give you the pip
And will help you through six volumes of Proust

The was once a Burger from Calais




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Mobson
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I'm sure you meant to type....'there' Dai

There was once a Burger from Calais
With a penchant for their corps de ballet
Edited by Mobson, Apr 8 2013, 10:51 AM.
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Caro

The was once a Burger from Calais
With a penchant for their corps de ballet
He watched every dance
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Mobson
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There was once a Burger from Calais
With a penchant for their corps de ballet
He watched every dance
every twirl, every prance
Edited by Mobson, Apr 8 2013, 10:52 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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There was once a Burger from Calais
With a penchant for their corps de ballet
He watched every dance
every twirl, every prance
As he played with the Orchestra Halle


In the Summer, way down in Bordeaux
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Mobson
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In the Summer, way down in Bordeaux
The red wine was beginning to flow
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Norm Deplume
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In the Summer, way down in Bordeaux
The red wine was beginning to flow
We kicked of our shoes
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dai Cottomy
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In the Summer, way down in Bordeaux
The red wine was beginning to flow
We kicked of our shoes
And tucked into the booze
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Norm Deplume
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In the Summer, way down in Bordeaux
The red wine was beginning to flow
We kicked of our shoes
And tucked into the booze
Before we decided to go


We went to the land of the Basques
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dai Cottomy
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We went to the land of the Basques
Where people go round wearing masks
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tafkaj

We went to the land of the Basques
Where people go round wearing masks
Of Batman and Zorro
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Norm Deplume
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We went to the land of the Basques
Where people go round wearing masks
Of Batman and Zorro
Forgetting tomorrow
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dai Cottomy
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We went to the land of the Basques
Where people go round wearing masks
Of Batman and Zorro
Forgetting tomorrow
Drinking Pernod neat from their flasks


Whilst over the border, in Spain


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Mobson
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Whilst over the border, in Spain
We thought we'd be free of the rain
Edited by Mobson, Apr 13 2013, 12:43 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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Whilst over the border, in Spain
We thought we'd be free of the rain
But orroyos were full flowing
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dai Cottomy
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Whilst over the border, in Spain
We thought we'd be free of the rain
But orroyos were full flowing
The roosters were crowing
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Norm Deplume
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Whilst over the border, in Spain
We thought we'd be free of the rain
But orroyos were full flowing
The roosters were crowing
And we all got drunk on Champagne


Our next stop was Juan-le Pins
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dai Cottomy
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Our next stop was Juan-le Pins
A few kilometres east of Cannes
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Mobson
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Our next stop was Juan-le Pins
A few kilometres east of Cannes
Took the Petit Train
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tafkaj

Our next stop was Juan-le Pins,
A few kilometres east of Cannes;
Took the Petit Train,
As only we can
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dai Cottomy
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Our next stop was Juan-le Pins,
A few kilometres east of Cannes;
Took the Petit Train,
As only we can
And scoffed a few bouteilles de vin


This year I'm trying to get a tan

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Mobson
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This year I'm trying to get a tan
I'll no longer be white van man

Edited by Mobson, Apr 17 2013, 03:38 AM.
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Caro

This year I'm trying to get a tan
I'll no longer be white van man
My arms will be bronze
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rumbaba
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This year I'm trying to get a tan
I'll no longer be white van man
My arms will be bronze
not the colour of swans
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Norm Deplume
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This year I'm trying to get a tan
I'll no longer be white van man
My arms will be bronze
not the colour of swans
And that is my solid game plan


As a boy, I played hookey from school
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dai Cottomy
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As a boy, I played hookey from school
And went down to the club to play pool
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Norm Deplume
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As a boy, I played hookey from school
And went down to the club to play pool
I was caught by my Dad
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waiting4atickle
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As a boy, I played hookey from school
And went down to the club to play pool
I was caught by my Dad
Who said it was bad

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dai Cottomy
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As a boy, I played hookey from school
And went down to the club to play pool
I was caught by my Dad
Who said it was bad
But I thought I was being so cool


I was a disappointment to Dad




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Caro

I was a disappointment to Dad
He wanted a bit of a lad
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waiting4atickle
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I was a disappointment to Dad
He wanted a bit of a lad
But he borrowed my dress <yikes>

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dai Cottomy
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I was a disappointment to Dad
He wanted a bit of a lad
But he borrowed my dress <yikes>
To go to Skegness
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tafkaj

I was a disappointment to Dad,
He wanted a bit of a lad;
But he borrowed my dress <yikes>
To go to Skegness -
I hope it's just a passing fad.

****************************************

Though everyone knows Mrs Queen
Edited by tafkaj, Apr 23 2013, 01:44 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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Though everyone knows Mrs Queen
Mr King has long since left the scene

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dai Cottomy
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Though everyone knows Mrs Queen
Mr King has long since left the scene
We'll soon lose Mr. Jack

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waiting4atickle
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Though everyone knows Mrs Queen
Mr King has long since left the scene
We'll soon lose Mr. Jack
And he ain't coming back

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Mobson
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Though everyone knows Mrs Queen
Mr King has long since left the scene
We'll soon lose Mr. Jack
And he ain't coming back
He's accused of being insufferably mean
Edited by Mobson, Apr 25 2013, 07:10 PM.
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Mobson
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Mr Jack's been up to no good
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waiting4atickle
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Mr Jack's been up to no good
Upsetting that biased Mr Wood

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dai Cottomy
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Mr Jack's been up to no good
Upsetting that biased Mr Wood
He shortened the mat

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tafkaj

Mr Jack's been up to no good
Upsetting that biased Mr Wood
He shortened the mat
Like a ten-year old brat
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waiting4atickle
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Mr Jack's been up to no good
Upsetting that biased Mr Wood
He shortened the mat
Like a ten-year old brat
Mr Green says he's just a young hood.


I used to enjoy playing bowls

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Caro

I used to enjoy playing bowls
With like-minded friendly old souls [I have just got home from my weekly - in the winter - indoor bowls night.]
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Norm Deplume
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I used to enjoy playing bowls
With like-minded friendly old souls
But lately I find
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waiting4atickle
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I used to enjoy playing bowls
With like-minded friendly old souls
But lately I find
I'm losing my mind

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dai Cottomy
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I used to enjoy playing bowls
With like-minded friendly old souls
But lately I find
I'm losing my mind
And prefer watching blokes scoring goals

Most sports demand physical fitness

Edited by dai Cottomy, Apr 29 2013, 12:09 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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Most sports demand physical fitness
To that I will gladly bear witness
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dai Cottomy
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Most sports demand physical fitness
To that I will gladly bear witness
But achieving that state
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Caro

Most sports demand physical fitness
To that I will gladly bear witness
But achieving that state
Takes actions I hate
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tafkaj

Most sports demand physical fitness
To that I will gladly bear witness
But achieving that state
Takes actions I hate -
I'd rather work out my PC's bitness.

[Yes, it IS a word - albeit a techie one!]

******************************************

When making up unusual words
------------------------------------
--------------------------
--------------------------
------------------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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When making up unusual words
Smartarses are up there with the birds
--------------------------
--------------------------
------------------------------------











Edited by Norm Deplume, Apr 30 2013, 03:05 PM.
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Mobson
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When making up unusual words
Smartarses are up there with the birds
Inventing new vocab
-----------------------------
---------------------------------------------
Edited by Mobson, May 1 2013, 10:30 AM.
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rumbaba
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When making up unusual words
Smartarses are up there with the birds
Inventing new vocab
While they are in rehab
---------------------------------------------
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dai Cottomy
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When making up unusual words
Smartarses are up there with the birds
Inventing new vocab
While they are in rehab
Just proves that they are just silly nerds


Uncle Harry loved eating bloaters









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Mobson
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Uncle Harry loved eating bloaters
Drinking vodka until he saw floaters









Edited by Mobson, May 1 2013, 06:53 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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Uncle Harry loved eating bloaters
Drinking vodka until he saw floaters
But the more that he ate

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Mobson
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Uncle Harry loved eating bloaters
Drinking vodka until he saw floaters
But the more that he ate
For the sake of his pate
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Norm Deplume
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Uncle Harry loved eating bloaters
Drinking vodka until he saw floaters
But the more that he ate
For the sake of his pate
He shunned away from the gloaters



Harry's brorther George liked his whisky
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dai Cottomy
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Harry's brorther George liked his whisky
A few tots made him feel rather frisky
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Caro

Harry's brother George liked his whisky
A few tots made him feel rather frisky
He pinched a few bums
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Mobson
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Harry's brother George liked his whisky
A few tots made him feel rather frisky
He pinched a few bums
To ward off the glums
Edited by Mobson, May 4 2013, 07:52 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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Harry's brother George liked his whisky
A few tots made him feel rather frisky
He pinched a few bums
To ward off the glums -
Nowadays such behaviour's quite risky.


Will there be any end to the scandals?

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Mobson
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Will there be any end to the scandals?
I wondered as I was drinking at Randall's
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Norm Deplume
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Will there be any end to the scandals?
I wondered as I was drinking at Randall's
Will charges be made?
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Mobson
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Will there be any end to the scandals?
I wondered as I was drinking at Randall's
Will charges be made?
Will damages be paid?
Edited by Mobson, May 6 2013, 07:32 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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Will there be any end to the scandals?
I wondered as I was drinking at Randall's
Will charges be made?
Will damages be paid?
Is it warm enough to wear sandals?


Bank Holiday sun's a rare treat

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Mobson
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Bank Holiday sun's a rare treat
We'll wear sandals to bare our feet
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waiting4atickle
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Bank Holiday sun's a rare treat
We'll wear sandals to bare our feet
What! Go without socks?

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dai Cottomy
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Bank Holiday sun's a rare treat
We'll wear sandals to bare our feet
What! Go without socks?
Even ones that have clocks?

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Mobson
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Bank Holiday sun's a rare treat
We'll wear sandals to bare our feet
What! Go without socks?
Even ones that have clocks?
Yes 'cos tanned tootsies look sweet



*******************************

I'm so pale I look like a vampire


Edited by Mobson, May 6 2013, 02:25 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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I'm so pale I look like a vampire
Get the sun and eat lots of samphire

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Mobson
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I'm so pale I look like a vampire
Get the sun and eat lots of samphire
But I've red hair'n'freckles

Edited by Mobson, May 6 2013, 08:04 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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I'm so pale I look like a vampire
Get the sun and eat lots of samphire
But I've red hair'n'freckles
So! Eat cakes made in Eccles
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dai Cottomy
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I'm so pale I look like a vampire
Get the sun and eat lots of samphire
But I've red hair'n'freckles
So! Eat cakes made in Eccles
And mourn the loss of the Empire

I've given up long distance flying

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Caro

I've given up long distance flying
I'm scared that I might end up dying [my next-door-neighbour died last night; when this sort of thing happens everything reminds you of death, somehow]
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Mobson
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I've given up long distance flying
I'm scared that I might end up dying
A dream that's recurring
Edited by Mobson, May 8 2013, 01:06 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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I've given up long distance flying
I'm scared that I might end up dying
A dream that's recurring
Sets my head a-whirring
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Norm Deplume
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Fault
Edited by Norm Deplume, May 8 2013, 01:46 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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I've given up long distance flying
I'm scared that I might end up dying
A dream that's recurring
Sets my head a-whirring
And I wake up in the morning crying




I'll try to pull myself together
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dai Cottomy
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I'll try to pull myself together
I'm reaching the end of my tether
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Mobson
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I'll try to pull myself together
I'm reaching the end of my tether
Must find a solution
Edited by Mobson, May 9 2013, 01:42 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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I'll try to pull myself together
I'm reaching the end of my tether
Must find a solution
To my dissolution
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Caro

I'll try to pull myself together
I'm reaching the end of my tether
Must find a solution
To my dissolution.
Why bother? Let's get out the leather.


It's fun for the best s and m
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dai Cottomy
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It's fun for the best s and m
To larrap the hell out of them
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waiting4atickle
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It's fun for the best s and m
To larrap the hell out of them
So make with the cuffs


(How far away did your next-door-neighbour live - and die - Caro?)

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dai Cottomy
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It's fun for the best s and m
To larrap the hell out of them
So make with the cuffs
But don't go for the snuffs

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Caro

It's fun for the best s and m
To larrap the hell out of them
So make with the cuffs
But don't go for the snuffs
Just go with the creme de la creme.


An innocent young lad in Japan
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(W4at, our houses were close enough that we could have a chat while she was in the garden and I was hanging out washing. And she died at home after being diagnosed a few months ago with chronic leukaemia. She had come into the town from their farm and had a house built there but only lived three or four years after that. A big shame for an energetic woman with lots of talents, though we weren't really on visiting terms. Her funeral is on Monday - funerals are huge in our wee town, everyone comes and they are held in the local hall usually.)





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