| any line is available | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,600 Views) | |
| dai Cottomy | Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM Post #1 |
|
waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792 It's awful, the lies that we tell And maybe we'll all go to Hell So always tell the Truth |
![]() |
|
| tafkaj | Sep 18 2012, 02:10 PM Post #2 |
|
It's awful, the lies that we tell, And maybe we'll all go to Hell; So always tell the Truth --------------------------- And all manner of things shall be well. |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Sep 18 2012, 11:02 PM Post #3 |
![]()
|
It's awful, the lies that we tell, And maybe we'll all go to Hell; So always tell the Truth And drink the best vermouth And all manner of things shall be well. --------------------------- --------------------------- She took off her top ------------------ --------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Sep 19 2012, 08:54 AM Post #4 |
|
When the acrobat got caught in the wire --------------------------- She took off her top ------------------ --------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Sep 19 2012, 10:44 AM Post #5 |
|
When the acrobat got caught in the wire --------------------------- She took off her top ------------------ And the clown went berserk with desire |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 19 2012, 01:25 PM Post #6 |
|
When the acrobat got caught in the wire --------------------------- She took off her top Her boobs went flip-flop And the clown went berserk with desire |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Sep 20 2012, 06:35 AM Post #7 |
|
When the acrobat got caught in the wire And things looked a little bit dire She took off her top Her boobs went flip-flop And the clown went berserk with desire ---------------------------------- ---------------------------------- With lust in his heart ----------------- ---------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 20 2012, 10:59 AM Post #8 |
|
---------------------------------- ---------------------------------- With lust in his heart could not help, but to fart ---------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Sep 21 2012, 08:42 AM Post #9 |
|
oh dear - the fart appears again! The Clown, usually a cheerful fella, -------------------------------------------- With lust in his heart could not help, but to fart -------------------------------------------- Edited by Mobson, Sep 21 2012, 08:44 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| tafkaj | Sep 21 2012, 11:34 AM Post #10 |
|
The Clown, usually a cheerful fella, -------------------------------------------- With lust in his heart Could not help, but to fart The tune of a song by Paul Weller |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Sep 21 2012, 11:50 AM Post #11 |
|
The Clown, usually a cheerful fella, Loved the trapezist called Isabella With lust in his heart Could not help, but to fart The tune of a song by Paul Weller She rejected his advances -------------------------- ---------------- ---------------- -------------------------- Edited by dai Cottomy, Sep 21 2012, 11:51 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Sep 21 2012, 04:54 PM Post #12 |
![]()
|
She rejected his advances -------------------------- ---------------- And burst into tears -------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 21 2012, 05:42 PM Post #13 |
|
She rejected his advances -------------------------- ---------------- ---------------- She could not afford to take chances |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Sep 21 2012, 05:58 PM Post #14 |
|
She rejected his advances -------------------------- Then had a few beers and burst into tears She could not afford to take chances |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Sep 21 2012, 09:54 PM Post #15 |
|
She rejected his advances But gave him sly wee glances Then had a few beers and burst into tears She could not afford to take chances The babe born on Sunday is Peter --------------------------------- -------------------- -------------------- ---------------------------------- [I don't think I have told you about my new grandson. He is now six days old.) Edited by Caro, Sep 21 2012, 09:54 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 21 2012, 10:32 PM Post #16 |
|
The babe born on Sunday is Peter --------------------------------- -------------------- -------------------- I'm convinced they don't come any sweeter |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Sep 21 2012, 11:52 PM Post #17 |
![]()
|
The babe born on Sunday is Peter (Congratulations, Caro )Let us wet his head with a litre -------------------- -------------------- I'm convinced they don't come any sweeter |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 22 2012, 10:35 AM Post #18 |
|
The babe born on Sunday is Peter (Congratulations, Caro ) Let us wet his head with a litre He's cuddly and cute ------------------ I'm convinced they don't come any sweeter |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 22 2012, 08:37 PM Post #19 |
|
The babe born on Sunday is Peter (Congratulations, Caro ) Let us wet his head with a litre He's cuddly and cute And a real Choochy-Beaut I'm convinced they don't come any sweeter My babies are middle-aged now |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Sep 23 2012, 10:03 AM Post #20 |
![]()
|
My babies are middle-aged now And well-versed in the ways of the Tao ----------------------- ----------------------- --------------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 24 2012, 12:41 PM Post #21 |
|
My babies are middle-aged now And well-versed in the ways of the Tao They stay on their course ----------------------- --------------------------------------- Edited by Norm Deplume, Sep 24 2012, 12:41 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Sep 24 2012, 11:14 PM Post #22 |
![]()
|
My babies are middle-aged now And well-versed in the ways of the Tao They stay on their course And show no remorse --------------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Sep 24 2012, 11:51 PM Post #23 |
|
My babies are middle-aged now And well-versed in the ways of the Tao They stay on their course And show no remorse Not even when talking of Mao. My elbow was kicked by a calf |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Sep 25 2012, 01:02 AM Post #24 |
|
My elbow was kicked by a calf Yes it hurt, I forbid you to laugh |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Sep 25 2012, 07:57 AM Post #25 |
![]()
|
My elbow was kicked by a calf Yes it hurt, I forbid you to laugh --------------------- And called it a cow ------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Sep 25 2012, 08:42 AM Post #26 |
|
My elbow was kicked by a calf Yes it hurt, I forbid you to laugh I shouted "Ow, Ow", And called it a cow ------------------------------- (It certainly did hurt and still does if I hold my arm the wrong way or try to lift anything.) |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 25 2012, 01:56 PM Post #27 |
|
My elbow was kicked by a calf Yes it hurt, I forbid you to laugh I shouted "Ow, Ow", And called it a cow Then went home and laid in a balf ................................................... The water was soothing and warm ..................... .................... .............................................. Edited by Norm Deplume, Sep 25 2012, 01:57 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Sep 25 2012, 06:01 PM Post #28 |
|
So I soaked in the bath at "Chez Norm" The water was soothing and warm .................... .................... .............................................. |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Sep 25 2012, 06:13 PM Post #29 |
|
So I soaked in the bath at "Chez Norm" The water was soothing and warm ........................................ Will he come scrub my back? ......................................................... |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 25 2012, 06:30 PM Post #30 |
|
So I soaked in the bath at "Chez Norm" The water was soothing and warm ........................................ Will he come scrub my back? "Course I will, B'fore I go to my dorm" Edited by Norm Deplume, Sep 25 2012, 08:55 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Sep 25 2012, 06:37 PM Post #31 |
|
Rhyme's gone a bit astray there, Norm |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 25 2012, 08:55 PM Post #32 |
|
Corrected Dai, with my apologies. |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Sep 25 2012, 11:35 PM Post #33 |
|
So I soaked in the bath at "Chez Norm" The water was soothing and warm But I missed my good Jack. Will he come scrub my back? "Course I will, B'fore I go to my dorm." ---------------------------- ---------------------------- They're yellow and bright ----------------- ---------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 26 2012, 12:49 PM Post #34 |
|
Went shopping , down in the Mall ---------------------------- They're yellow and bright ----------------- ---------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Sep 26 2012, 01:19 PM Post #35 |
![]()
|
Went shopping , down in the Mall ---------------------------- They're yellow and bright ----------------- In fact, they are simply too small. |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 26 2012, 04:18 PM Post #36 |
|
Went shopping , down in the Mall Bought trousers, thought they were a ball they're yellow and bright ----------------- In fact, they are simply too small. |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Sep 26 2012, 05:43 PM Post #37 |
![]()
|
Went shopping , down in the Mall Bought trousers, thought they were a ball they're yellow and bright But seem a bit tight - In fact, they are simply too small. --------------------------------- --------------------------------- Maybe this time I'll win ------------------ --------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 26 2012, 05:48 PM Post #38 |
|
The darts team were honing their arrows --------------------------------- Maybe this time I'll win ------------------ --------------------------------- Edited by Norm Deplume, Sep 26 2012, 05:49 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Sep 26 2012, 11:58 PM Post #39 |
![]()
|
The darts team were honing their arrows And plucking the feathers from sparrows Maybe this time I'll win ------------------ --------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Sep 27 2012, 03:58 AM Post #40 |
|
Went shopping , down in the Mall ---------------------------- They're yellow and bright So tiny and light In fact, they are simply too small. |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Sep 27 2012, 08:04 AM Post #41 |
![]()
|
(Whistling up a Norm.) |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Sep 27 2012, 08:09 AM Post #42 |
|
The darts team were honing their arrows And plucking the feathers from sparrows Maybe this time I'll win fuelled up with a gin --------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Sep 27 2012, 11:57 AM Post #43 |
|
The darts team were honing their arrows And plucking the feathers from sparrows Maybe this time I'll win fuelled up with a gin Then I'll go and water my marrows You need to stay alert in this game |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 27 2012, 03:23 PM Post #44 |
|
You need to stay alert in this game .................................................... ...................... ..................... Or the buggers will put you to shame |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Sep 27 2012, 11:50 PM Post #45 |
![]()
|
You need to stay alert in this game .................................................... ...................... And keep your eyes peeled Or the buggers will put you to shame |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Sep 28 2012, 03:26 AM Post #46 |
|
You need to stay alert in this game Or a Norm they'll be so quick to claim ...................... And keep your eyes peeled Or the buggers will put you to shame |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 28 2012, 10:58 AM Post #47 |
|
You need to stay alert in this game Or a Norm they'll be so quick to claim Be first on the field And keep your eyes peeled Or the buggers will put you to shame It's Harvest with all the crops ripe |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Sep 28 2012, 11:41 AM Post #48 |
![]()
|
It's Harvest with all the crops ripe ---------------------------- ----------------- ----------------- But there's ice on the overflow pipe. |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Sep 28 2012, 12:29 PM Post #49 |
|
It's Harvest with all the crops ripe I've got onions to go with the tripe ----------------- ----------------- But there's ice on the overflow pipe. |
![]() |
|
| tafkaj | Sep 28 2012, 02:57 PM Post #50 |
|
It's Harvest, with all the crops ripe - I've got onions to go with the tripe, And parsnips for stew ----------------- But there's ice on the overflow pipe. |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Sep 28 2012, 03:06 PM Post #51 |
|
It's Harvest, with all the crops ripe - I've got onions to go with the tripe, And parsnips for stew And blackberries too But there's ice on the overflow pipe My doc says that I need a flu jab |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Sep 29 2012, 09:26 AM Post #52 |
|
My doc says that I need a flu jab .............................................. ........... ........... Then I'll treat myself to a kebab |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 29 2012, 10:16 AM Post #53 |
|
My doc says that I need a flu jab To get one, they'll have to fight flab ........... ........... Then I'll treat myself to a kebab |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Sep 29 2012, 10:44 AM Post #54 |
|
My doc says that I need a flu jab To get one, they'll have to fight flab I'll just get on my bike ........... Then I'll treat myself to a kebab |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 29 2012, 04:53 PM Post #55 |
|
My doc says that I need a flu jab To get one, they'll have to fight flab I'll just get on my bike And I'll bravely endure that spike Then I'll treat myself to a kebab I've had my flu jab,. Didn't hurt! |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Sep 29 2012, 07:25 PM Post #56 |
|
had mine on Thurs! I've had my flu jab,. Didn't hurt! Hardly had time to remove my shirt Edited by Mobson, Sep 29 2012, 07:28 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Sep 30 2012, 10:47 AM Post #57 |
|
I've had my flu jab,. Didn't hurt! Hardly had time to remove my shirt The nurse held my hand |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Sep 30 2012, 11:37 AM Post #58 |
|
I've had my flu jab,. Didn't hurt! Hardly had time to remove my shirt The nurse held my hand after tightening a band |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Sep 30 2012, 12:03 PM Post #59 |
|
I've had my flu jab,. Didn't hurt! Hardly had time to remove my shirt The nurse held my hand after tightening a band Then we had one minute to flirt My dentist's a lively young chap |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Sep 30 2012, 04:26 PM Post #60 |
|
My dentist's a lively young chap .................................................. ................... ................ But boy, how he does love to yap |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Oct 1 2012, 11:31 AM Post #61 |
|
My dentist's a lively young chap When he's working, he sits on your lap ................... ................ But boy, how he does love to yap |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 1 2012, 11:32 AM Post #62 |
|
My dentist's a lively young chap He's very good at filling the gap ................... ................ But boy, how he does love to yap |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Oct 1 2012, 11:37 AM Post #63 |
![]()
|
My dentist's a lively young chap He's very good at filling the gap ................... May give you a thrill But boy, how he does love to yap |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 1 2012, 02:17 PM Post #64 |
|
My dentist's a lively young chap He's very good at filling the gap What he does with his drill May give you a thrill But boy, how he does love to yap |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 1 2012, 02:20 PM Post #65 |
|
His dental nurse Suzie is fun |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 1 2012, 03:41 PM Post #66 |
|
His dental nurse Suzie is fun She does her hair up in a bun |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 1 2012, 11:41 PM Post #67 |
|
His dental nurse Suzie is fun She does her hair up in a bun .......................... Shows how to floss ............................................ |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Oct 3 2012, 10:00 AM Post #68 |
|
His dental nurse Suzie is fun She does her hair up in a bun .......................... Shows how to floss, Now of fillings I hope to have none. |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 3 2012, 10:56 AM Post #69 |
|
His dental nurse Suzie is fun She does her hair up in a bun Looks like Kate Moss Shows how to floss, Now of fillings I hope to have none. As I went for a stroll in the park |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Oct 3 2012, 12:58 PM Post #70 |
|
As I went for a stroll in the park In the lake, there appeared a large shark |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 3 2012, 07:06 PM Post #71 |
|
As I went for a stroll in the park In the lake, there appeared a large shark I tossed it some bread |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Oct 3 2012, 08:42 PM Post #72 |
|
As I went for a stroll in the park In the lake, there appeared a large shark I tossed it some bread But it just shook its head |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Oct 4 2012, 01:56 PM Post #73 |
|
As I went for a stroll in the park In the lake, there appeared a large shark I tossed it some bread But it just shook its head And said, "Oy mate, You 'avin a lark" A crafty young man from Northampton |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 4 2012, 02:21 PM Post #74 |
|
A crafty young man from Northampton Thought he'd make a meal out of plankton -------------------------------- -------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------- Edited by dai Cottomy, Oct 4 2012, 02:22 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Oct 4 2012, 04:42 PM Post #75 |
|
A crafty young man from Northampton Thought he'd make a meal out of plankton He topped and tailed 'em -------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 5 2012, 02:00 AM Post #76 |
|
A crafty young man from Northampton Thought he'd make a meal out of plankton He topped and tailed 'em Then packed and mailed 'em ----------------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Oct 5 2012, 03:11 AM Post #77 |
|
A crafty young man from Northampton Thought he'd make a meal out of plankton He topped and tailed 'em Then packed and mailed 'em As quick as he could to Jean Shrampton. ------------------------------- Took liberties with names here and there ------------------ ------------------ ------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 5 2012, 11:34 AM Post #78 |
|
Dear rhymesters you'd better beware Took liberties with names here and there ------------------ ------------------ ------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Oct 5 2012, 11:19 PM Post #79 |
|
Dear rhymesters you'd better beware Took liberties with names here and there ------------------ ------------------ But in limericks everything is fair. |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Oct 6 2012, 12:02 AM Post #80 |
![]()
|
Dear rhymesters you'd better beware Took liberties with names here and there ------------------ And such sentiments vile But in limericks everything is fair. |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Oct 8 2012, 10:30 AM Post #81 |
|
Dear rhymesters you'd better beware Took liberties with names here and there Simply lacking in style And such sentiments vile But in limericks everything is fair. The Green-eyed Goddess of Wigan |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Oct 8 2012, 11:59 AM Post #82 |
![]()
|
The Green-eyed Goddess of Wigan Had a chip on her shoulder - a big 'un ----------------------- ----------------------- ------------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 8 2012, 12:43 PM Post #83 |
|
The Green-eyed Goddess of Wigan Had a chip on her shoulder - a big 'un She felt too bulky ----------------------- ------------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Oct 8 2012, 02:37 PM Post #84 |
![]()
|
The Green-eyed Goddess of Wigan Had a chip on her shoulder - a big 'un She felt too bulky Which made her quite sulky ------------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| Rikiiboy | Oct 8 2012, 05:38 PM Post #85 |
|
The Green-eyed Goddess of Wigan Had a chip on her shoulder - a big 'un She felt too bulky Which made her quite sulky When wedged in her Renault Megane. A silly old biddy from Reading |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Oct 8 2012, 05:58 PM Post #86 |
![]()
|
A silly old biddy from Reading Unaware of the lies she was spreading ---------------- ---------------- --------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 8 2012, 06:01 PM Post #87 |
|
A silly old biddy from Reading Unaware of the lies she was spreading By posting on Twitter ---------------- --------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 8 2012, 11:23 PM Post #88 |
|
A silly old biddy from Reading Unaware of the lies she was spreading By posting on Twitter ---------------- by naming who her neighbour was bedding Edited by Mobson, Oct 8 2012, 11:23 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Caro | Oct 9 2012, 05:29 AM Post #89 |
|
A silly old biddy from Reading Unaware of the lies she was spreading By posting on Twitter She had them a-jitter by naming who her neighbour was bedding ---------------------------------- ---------------------------------- ------------------- Were all gobbled up ---------------------------------- Edited by Caro, Oct 9 2012, 05:31 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 9 2012, 08:13 AM Post #90 |
|
The affair was an uproarious scandal ---------------------------------- ------------------- Were all gobbled up ---------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 9 2012, 10:26 AM Post #91 |
|
The affair was an uproarious scandal It made me fly off the handle ------------------- Were all gobbled up ---------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Oct 9 2012, 01:19 PM Post #92 |
![]()
|
The affair was an uproarious scandal It made me fly off the handle The eggs in their cup Were all gobbled up ---------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 9 2012, 02:40 PM Post #93 |
|
The affair was an uproarious scandal It made me fly off the handle The eggs in their cup Were all gobbled up By those notorious Aussies, Nancy Vandal! |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 9 2012, 02:40 PM Post #94 |
|
They were the Hard Axe To Follow |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Oct 9 2012, 10:39 PM Post #95 |
![]()
|
Your knowledge of Australian punk bands is a revelation, Mobs. They were the Hard Axe To Follow When performing at the Apollo -------------------- -------------------- ------------------------------ Edited by waiting4atickle, Oct 9 2012, 10:40 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 10 2012, 08:10 AM Post #96 |
|
Gotta keep it interesting ticks!....love a bit of Aussie Punk action - just look at their band names.... Fox Trotsky (Mike Foxall) - guitar/vocals JJ La Moore (Jeff Moore) - guitar/bass Bombshell/Tommy Lee Turnip/Mr. Shit/So Cal Snuffel (Dean Bakota) Marcus "Rolfe" Rolfe - bass/vocals Jason Jasonn Beers (Jay Whalley) - bass/vocals Tess/Lickerov Finetesticals/T.Force/T-Bone/T-Banger/T-Burger/T-Man/T-Bag/T-Shirt (Robert Tickle) - trombone/keys Gilli Pepper (Gillian Kilgour) - sax/vocals Telaviv Skywalker (Genevieve Murray) - trumpet/vocals Poofy Arse Bogun (Anna Helme) - sax They were the Hard Axe To Follow When performing at the Apollo -------------------- Quite partial to rock ------------------------------ Edited by Mobson, Oct 10 2012, 09:30 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| Caro | Oct 10 2012, 10:23 PM Post #97 |
|
They were the Hard Axe To Follow When performing at the Apollo -------------------- Quite partial to rock But their sound was, on the whole, hollow. |
![]() |
|
| Schrodinger's Cat | Oct 10 2012, 10:47 PM Post #98 |
|
They were the Hard Axe To Follow When performing at the Apollo Their drummer called Jock Quite partial to rock But their sound was, on the whole, hollow. |
![]() |
|
| Schrodinger's Cat | Oct 10 2012, 10:51 PM Post #99 |
|
--------------------------------- Whilst nibbling on a swede -------------------- -------------------- ---------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Oct 10 2012, 11:27 PM Post #100 |
![]()
|
---------------------------------- ---------------------------------- Whilst nibbling on a swede My nose started to bleed ---------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Mornington Crescent · Next Topic » |







)
had mine on Thurs!
Gotta keep it interesting ticks!....love a bit of Aussie Punk action - just look at their band names....

7:02 AM Jul 13