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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,617 Views)
dai Cottomy
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792



It's awful, the lies that we tell
And maybe we'll all go to Hell
So always tell the Truth
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Norm Deplume
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We were doing a tour of "The Smoke"
---------------------------------
Bow Church for the bells
And then Sadler's Wells
---------------------------------
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tafkaj

We were doing a tour of "The Smoke"
---------------------------------
Bow Church for the bells
And then Sadler's Wells
And the Comedy Store for a joke.
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waiting4atickle
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We were doing a tour of "The Smoke"
After watching South Africa choke.
Bow Church for the bells
And then Sadler's Wells
And the Comedy Store for a joke.


"Stand up and be counted" they said
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dai Cottomy
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We were doing a tour of "The Smoke"
I wore my clogs and opera cloak
Bow Church for the bells
And then Sadler's Wells
And the Comedy Store for a joke.-

After that, we went to a night club

Edited by dai Cottomy, Jun 21 2013, 12:07 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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Stand up and be counted" they said
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In the end, we all went to bed
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Caro

Stand up and be counted" they said
---------------------------
"I'm not just a number"
-------------------
In the end, we all went to bed
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Norm Deplume
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Stand up and be counted" they said
"Up Yours! and go boil your head"
"I'm not just a number"
-------------------
In the end, we all went to bed

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tafkaj

"Stand up and be counted" they said.
"Up Yours! and go boil your head;"
"I'm not just a number,"
Said th'anaesthetist - bummer!
In the end, we all went to bed.

***************************************

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I feel like letting go
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Norm Deplume
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The rock face just seemed never-ending
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I feel like letting go
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------------------------------------

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Mobson
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The rock face just seemed never-ending
------------------------------------
I feel like letting go
Drop deep into snow
------------------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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The rock face just seemed never-ending
Forever tilting and bending
I feel like letting go
Drop deep into snow
------------------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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The rock face just seemed never-ending
Forever tilting and bending
I feel like letting go
Drop deep into snow
Then I woke-up as the moon was descending


They are funny old things,...scary dreams
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tafkaj

They are funny old things,...scary dreams
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-------------------------------
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And twenty-four large custard creams.
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dai Cottomy
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They are funny old things,...scary dreams
You wake the neighbours with your screams
-------------------------------
-------------------------------
And twenty-four large custard creams.
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tafkaj

They are funny old things,...scary dreams
You wake the neighbours with your screams
And wake up to find
-------------------------------
And twenty-four large custard creams.
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Norm Deplume
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They are funny old things,...scary dreams
You wake the neighbours with your screams
And wake up to find
A large cheese, with rind
And twenty-four large custard creams.


A cobbler in downtown High Wycombe
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dai Cottomy
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A cobbler in downtown High Wycombe
When eating doughnuts, he liked to lick 'em
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Mobson
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A cobbler in downtown High Wycombe
When eating doughnuts, he liked to lick 'em
Sucking jam from the middle
Edited by Mobson, Jun 27 2013, 08:41 AM.
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Caro

A cobbler in downtown High Wycombe
When eating doughnuts, he liked to lick 'em
Suck jam from the middle
-----------------------
With the cream, his joy was to flick'em.
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Mobson
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A cobbler in downtown High Wycombe
When eating doughnuts, he liked to lick 'em
Sucking jam from the middle
Humming 'Hey diddle diddle'
With the cream, his joy was to flick'em.
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Mobson
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What happened at Wimbledon yesterday
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dai Cottomy
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What happened at Wimbledon yesterday
Proves that grass should be turned into hay
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Caro

What happened at Wimbledon yesterday
Proves that grass should be turned into hay
Too green and too lush
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Norm Deplume
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What happened at Wimbledon yesterday
Proves that grass should be turned into hay
Too green and too lush
................................
Call themselves Pros, yet can't even play!
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tafkaj

What happened at Wimbledon yesterday
Proves that grass should be turned into hay
Too green and too lush
It plays like a bush
Call themselves Pros, yet can't even play!

********************************************

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But tak'n as a whole
---------------------------------
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dai Cottomy
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----------------------------------------------
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But tak'n as a whole
It beats being on the dole
----------------------------------------------
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Mobson
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Reg the actor has taken to Escourting
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But tak'n as a whole
It beats being on the dole
----------------------------------------------
Edited by Mobson, Jul 1 2013, 02:48 AM.
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Caro

Reg the actor has taken to Escourting
----------------------------------------------
But tak'n as a whole
It beats being on the dole
Or living a life cocaine snorting.
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Norm Deplume
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Reg the actor has taken to Escourting
In his car, while he was transporting
But tak'n as a whole
It beats being on the dole
Or living a life cocaine snorting.




An actor's life I'm 'fraid's not for me

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Mobson
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An actor's life I'm 'fraid's not for me
..................................................
..........
..........
That so many times ends in tragedy

Edited by Mobson, Jul 1 2013, 07:18 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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An actor's life I'm 'fraid's not for me
I'd rather have a nice hot cup of tea
.........
..........
That so many times ends in tragedy

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tafkaj

An actor's life I'm 'fraid's not for me
Or coffee, or milk
..........
That so many times ends in tragedy
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dai Cottomy
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An actor's life I'm 'fraid's not for me
I'd rather have a nice hot cup of tea
Or coffee, or milk
Or of similar ilk
That so many times ends in tragedy


A character actor called Clive

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Norm Deplume
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A character actor called Clive
........................................
.......................
....................
A master at dancing the jive
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jul 3 2013, 09:36 AM.
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Caro

A character actor called Clive
Performed all parts, dead or alive
.......................
....................
A master at dancing the jive
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Norm Deplume
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A character actor called Clive
Performed all parts, dead or alive
His 'Hamlet' was great
....................
A master at dancing the jive
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jul 5 2013, 11:52 AM.
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Mobson
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A character actor called Clive
Performed all parts, dead or alive
A change in his stance
....................
A master at dancing the jive
Edited by Mobson, Jul 5 2013, 11:55 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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A character actor called Clive
Performed all parts, dead or alive
A change in his stance
He became at a glance
A master at dancing the jive


His uncle was Nicky the Nark
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Mobson
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His uncle was Nicky the Nark
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..........
..........
One dark night, just for a lark!
Edited by Mobson, Jul 6 2013, 11:22 AM.
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tafkaj

His uncle was Nicky the Nark -
You know, that creep in the park
..........
..........
One dark night, just for a lark!
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dai Cottomy
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His uncle was Nicky the Nark -
You know, that creep in the park
..........
Jumped into the lake
One dark night, just for a lark!
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Norm Deplume
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His uncle was Nicky the Nark -
You know, that creep in the park
The big fruitcake
Jumped into the lake
One dark night, just for a lark!



It's the duty of all good people
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dai Cottomy
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It's the duty of all good people
To climb to the top of a steeple
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Mobson
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It's the duty of all good people
To climb to the top of a steeple
But I'm Vertigo Joe
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dai Cottomy
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It's the duty of all good people
To climb to the top of a steeple
But I'm Vertigo Joe
---------------------------------
I'm gonna change my name by deed poll
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Mobson
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It's the duty of all good people
To climb to the top of a steeple
But I'm Vertigo Joe
And I think you should know
I'm gonna change my name by deed poll
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Mobson
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..........................................
whilst making Keralan pork curry
............
............
...........................................
Edited by Mobson, Jul 8 2013, 05:07 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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..........................................
whilst making Keralan pork curry
............
............
But there's no immediate hurry
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Rikiiboy
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Old Ranjit had no need to worry
whilst making Keralan pork curry
............
............
But there's no immediate hurry
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Mobson
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Old Ranjit had no need to worry
Whilst making Keralan pork curry
Pummeling his spice
............
But there's no immediate hurry
Edited by Mobson, Jul 9 2013, 10:57 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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Old Ranjit had no need to worry
Whilst making Keralan pork curry
Pummeling his spice
He forgot to cook rice
But there's no immediate hurry


Some time later we sat down to dine
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Norm Deplume
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Some time later we sat down to dine
She cooked the food, I brought the wine
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dai Cottomy
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Some time later we sat down to dine
She cooked the food, I brought the wine
I told my best joke
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Mobson
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Some time later we sat down to dine
She cooked the food, I brought the wine
I told my best joke
She started to choke
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dai Cottomy
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Some time later we sat down to dine
She cooked the food, I brought the wine
I told my best joke
She started to choke
I gave her the heimlich, now she is fine.


A crusty old gent from North Wales
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Norm Deplume
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A crusty old gent from North Wales
....................................................
---------------------------------
---------------------------------
So he carries a bag in case all else fails
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Norm Deplume
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A crusty old gent from North Wales
Loves taking the shells off of snails
---------------------------------
---------------------------------
So he carries a bag in case all else fails
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Rikiiboy
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A crusty old gent from North Wales
Loves taking the shells off of snails
With a pair of pliers
---------------------------------
So he carries a bag in case all else fails
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dai Cottomy
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A crusty old gent from North Wales
Loves taking the shells off of snails
With a pair of pliers
For cutting the wires
So he carries a bag in case all else fails

Snails make the most delightful pets
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Rikiiboy
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Snails make the most delightful pets
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--------------------
--------------------
The bill's cheap at the vet's.
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Norm Deplume
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Snails make the most delightful pets
They can be bought in organised sets
--------------------
--------------------
The bill's cheap at the vet's.
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Rikiiboy
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Snails make the most delightful pets
They can be bought in organised sets
They're easy to keep
--------------------
The bill's cheap at the vet's.
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Caro

Snails make the most delightful pets
They can be bought in organised sets
They're easy to keep
They crawl, never leap,
The bill's cheap at the vet's.

----------------------------
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It's a shame they don't talk
----------------
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Rikiiboy
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It's a shame they don't talk
----------------
Ahh if only walls had ears.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Jul 12 2013, 07:11 AM.
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Caro


And guns, fast grenades, and big spears.
It's a shame they don't talk
----------------
Ahh if only walls had ears.
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Norm Deplume
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The aliens enhanced all our fears
With guns, fast grenades, and big spears.
It's a shame they don't talk
----------------
Ahh if only walls had ears.
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Caro

The aliens enhanced all our fears
With guns, fast grenades, and big spears.
It's a shame they don't talk
Just grunt, stare and walk
Ahh if only walls had ears.


--------------------------
The ways of the world are so strange
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----------------
--------------------------


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waiting4atickle
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As I found out when riding the range,
The ways of the world are so strange
----------------
----------------
--------------------------

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Norm Deplume
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As I found out when riding the range,
The ways of the world are so strange
----------------
----------------
So I bought a new car, part exchange
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Mobson
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As I found out when riding the range,
The ways of the world are so strange
My crotch was always sore
----------------
So I bought a new car, part exchange
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Norm Deplume
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As I found out when riding the range,
The ways of the world are so strange
My crotch was always sore
I was touched to the core
So I bought a new car, part exchange



The problem with cars is emissions
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Caro

The problem with cars is emissions
Would the worries be changed using fission?
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----------------------
-----------------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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The problem with cars is emissions
Would the worries be changed using fission?
----------------------
Hey! don't be a jerk!
-----------------------------------
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dai Cottomy
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The problem with cars is emissions
Would the worries be changed using fission?
I doubt it would work
Hey! don't be a jerk!
-----------------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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The problem with cars is emissions
Would the worries be changed using fission?
I doubt it would work
Hey! don't be a jerk!
All you need is a spark for ignition




The price of car fuel is obscene
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dai Cottomy
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The price of car fuel is obscene
All because it's not at all green
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Caro

The price of car fuel is obscene
All because it's not at all green
-------------------
Oil prices are up
------------------------------
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Rikiiboy
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The price of car fuel is obscene
All because it's not at all green
While our cars like to sup
Oil prices are up
------------------------------
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Caro

The price of car fuel is obscene
All because it's not at all green
While our cars like to sup
Oil prices are up
Cheap transport is now a has-been.

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--------------------
Let's jump on a train and go far.
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Norm Deplume
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The engine 's blown up on the car
------------------------------
--------------------
--------------------
Let's jump on a train and go far.


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Mobson
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The engine 's blown up on the car
------------------------------
Our bikes all are nicked
--------------------
Let's jump on a train and go far.
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Norm Deplume
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The engine 's blown up on the car
Don't fret, we'll all go down t'bar
Our bikes all are nicked
--------------------
Let's jump on a train and go far.
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Mobson
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The engine 's blown up on the car
Don't fret, we'll all go down t'bar
Our bikes all are nicked
Cos the locks all were picked
Let's jump on a train and go far.
Edited by Mobson, Jul 24 2013, 07:55 PM.
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Mobson
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How far can we go for a pony?
Edited by Mobson, Jul 24 2013, 07:57 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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How far can we go for a pony?
Not far, twenty five quid is balony
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Norm Deplume
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How far can we go for a pony?
Not far, twenty five quid is balony
Take a taxi to town?
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Caro

How far can we go for a pony?
Not far, twenty five quid is balony
Take a taxi to town?
-------------------
Let's go home; the show's just a phony.
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Norm Deplume
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How far can we go for a pony?
Not far, twenty five quid is balony
Take a taxi to town?
and go browsing aroun'
Let's go home; the show's just a phony.



I'd like a big win on the lotto

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waiting4atickle
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I'd like a big win on the lotto
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And then I'd go out and get blotto.

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Mobson
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I'd like a big win on the lotto
So I can buy an original Giotto
-----------------
-----------------
And then I'd go out and get blotto.

Edited by Mobson, Jul 30 2013, 02:12 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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I'd like a big win on the lotto
So I can buy an original Giotto
I would frame it in Gold
-----------------
And then I'd go out and get blotto.
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Mobson
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I'd like a big win on the lotto
So I can buy an original Giotto
I would frame it in Gold
T'wuld look brassy'n'bold
And then I'd go out and get blotto.
Edited by Mobson, Jul 30 2013, 10:58 AM.
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Mobson
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A boat with full crew would come next
Edited by Mobson, Jul 30 2013, 11:01 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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A boat with full crew would come next
.....................................................
.....................
....................
If I didn't do that, I'd be vexed
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Mobson
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A boat with full crew would come next
.....................................................
We'd sail around the world
....................
If I didn't do that, I'd be vexed
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Norm Deplume
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"A boat with full crew would come next"
said the Captain when he sent me a text
We'd sail around the world
....................
If I didn't do that, I'd be vexed
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dai Cottomy
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"A boat with full crew would come next"
said the Captain when he sent me a text
We'd sail around the world
With mainsail unfurled
If I didn't do that, I'd be vexed


"Full steam ahead!" said the skipper


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Mobson
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"Full steam ahead!" said the skipper
Looking directly at Rita the Stripper


Edited by Mobson, Jul 31 2013, 10:33 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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"Full steam ahead!" said the skipper
Looking directly at Rita the Stripper
-------------------------------
-------------------------------
She fell victim to old Jack the Ripper

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Mobson
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"Full steam ahead!" said the skipper
Looking directly at Rita the Stripper
She took him at his word
-------------------------------
She fell victim to old Jack the Ripper
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