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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,616 Views) | |
| dai Cottomy | Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM Post #1 |
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792 It's awful, the lies that we tell And maybe we'll all go to Hell So always tell the Truth |
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| Rikiiboy | Aug 1 2013, 09:53 AM Post #1001 |
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"Full steam ahead!" said the skipper Looking directly at Rita the Stripper She took him at his word And the last thing we heard She fell victim to old Jack the Ripper. ----------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------- So who told you to let go? |
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| Mobson | Aug 1 2013, 09:59 AM Post #1002 |
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-------------------------------- -------------------------------- He climbed to the top ------------- So who told you to let go? |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 1 2013, 03:29 PM Post #1003 |
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The yachts crew decided to row -------------------------------- He climbed to the top ------------- So who told you to let go? Edited by Norm Deplume, Aug 1 2013, 03:45 PM.
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| Mobson | Aug 1 2013, 03:35 PM Post #1004 |
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Norm - we finished that one and Rikiiboy's put up a new line in 1001....
Edited by Mobson, Aug 1 2013, 03:36 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 2 2013, 11:04 AM Post #1005 |
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The yachts crew decided to row Then one climbed the mainmast, quite slow He climbed to the top ------------- So who told you to let go? |
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| tafkaj | Aug 3 2013, 11:57 AM Post #1006 |
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The yachts crew decided to row Then one climbed the mainmast, quite slow He climbed to the top But then started to drop - "So who told you to let go?" ************************************************ ------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------- He's easily fooled ----------------------------- ------------------------------------------- |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 3 2013, 12:03 PM Post #1007 |
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He was tricked into buying a Timeshare ------------------------------------------- He's easily fooled ----------------------------- ------------------------------------------- |
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| tafkaj | Aug 3 2013, 12:09 PM Post #1008 |
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He was tricked into buying a Timeshare, A word f'rwhich he couldn't find a rhyme fair; He's easily fooled ----------------------------- ------------------------------------------- |
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| Mobson | Aug 5 2013, 10:14 AM Post #1009 |
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He was tricked into buying a Timeshare, A word f'rwhich he couldn't find a rhyme fair; He's easily fooled -------------------- But he's condemned to keeping it for ever Edited by Mobson, Aug 5 2013, 10:15 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 6 2013, 11:39 AM Post #1010 |
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He was tricked into buying a Timeshare, A word f'rwhich he couldn't find a rhyme fair; He's easily fooled And poorly tooled But he's condemned to keeping it for ever I yearn to return to Sorrento . |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 6 2013, 01:49 PM Post #1011 |
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I yearn to return to Sorrento It's nicer than the last place I went to |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 7 2013, 01:29 PM Post #1012 |
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I yearn to return to Sorrento It's nicer than the last place I went to Gelato Suprema |
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| Mobson | Aug 7 2013, 02:14 PM Post #1013 |
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I yearn to return to Sorrento It's nicer than the last place I went to Gelato Suprema is a nicer icer creama |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 7 2013, 04:02 PM Post #1014 |
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I yearn to return to Sorrento It's nicer than the last place I went to Gelato Suprema is a nicer icer creama So who do I pay my car rent to? Palm Springs is a place worth a visit |
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| Mobson | Aug 7 2013, 11:53 PM Post #1015 |
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Palm Springs is a place worth a visit .................................................. ............ ............ 'Tho its not as good as Las Vegas is it Edited by Mobson, Aug 7 2013, 11:53 PM.
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| Caro | Aug 9 2013, 12:26 AM Post #1016 |
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Palm Springs is a place worth a visit .................................................. Just hire a resort ............ 'Tho its not as good as Las Vegas is it |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 9 2013, 11:50 AM Post #1017 |
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Palm Springs is a place worth a visit If you're round that way,try not to miss it Just hire a resort ............ 'Tho its not as good as Las Vegas is it |
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| tafkaj | Aug 10 2013, 12:23 PM Post #1018 |
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Palm Springs is a place worth a visit If you're round that way,try not to miss it Just hire a resort ANd a comely escort - 'Tho its not as good as Las Vegas is it? ********************************************* ------------------------------------------- By turning on th'extractor fan ----------------------------- ----------------------------- ------------------------------------------- |
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| Mobson | Aug 12 2013, 02:14 PM Post #1019 |
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Trying to cool down my overheated nan By turning on th'extractor fan ----------------------------- ----------------------------- ------------------------------------------- |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 13 2013, 04:26 PM Post #1020 |
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Trying to cool down my overheated nan By turning on th'extractor fan ----------------------------- ----------------------------- Had to call the refrigerator man Edited by Norm Deplume, Aug 13 2013, 04:26 PM.
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| Mobson | Aug 14 2013, 01:37 AM Post #1021 |
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Trying to cool down my overheated nan By turning on th'extractor fan I shoved 'er in fridge ----------------------------- Had to call the refrigerator man Edited by Mobson, Aug 14 2013, 01:38 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 14 2013, 02:01 PM Post #1022 |
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Trying to cool down my overheated nan By turning on th'extractor fan I shoved 'er in fridge Where she was bitten by a midge Had to call the refrigerator man The refrigerator man was called Roger |
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| waiting4atickle | Aug 14 2013, 11:34 PM Post #1023 |
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The refrigerator man was called Roger A crusty, curmudgeonly old codger |
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| Caro | Aug 15 2013, 04:51 AM Post #1024 |
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The refrigerator man was called Roger A crusty, curmudgeonly old codger ----------------- ----------------- But at least not a dishonest dodger. |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 15 2013, 11:03 AM Post #1025 |
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The refrigerator man was called Roger A crusty, curmudgeonly old codger His 'tool-kit' lacked tools ----------------- But at least not a dishonest dodger. |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 15 2013, 07:18 PM Post #1026 |
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The refrigerator man was called Roger A crusty, curmudgeonly old codger His 'tool-kit' lacked tools For cleaning out pools But at least not a dishonest dodger. One day while mending a freezer |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 15 2013, 07:48 PM Post #1027 |
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One day while mending a freezer ................................................. ................... ................... By heck! What a silly old geyser |
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| Caro | Aug 15 2013, 10:34 PM Post #1028 |
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One day while mending a freezer ................................................. The water poured out ................... By heck! What a silly old geyser |
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| Mobson | Aug 16 2013, 02:43 PM Post #1029 |
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One day while mending a freezer ................................................. The water poured out Help! he didn't shout out By heck! What a silly old geyser |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 16 2013, 03:35 PM Post #1030 |
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One day while mending a freezer He was dressed as Julius Caesar The water poured out Help! he didn't shout out By heck! What a silly old geyser An accountant who hailed from Berlin |
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| Mobson | Aug 16 2013, 04:20 PM Post #1031 |
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An accountant who hailed from Berlin Made no money so was incredibly thin |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 16 2013, 06:57 PM Post #1032 |
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An accountant who hailed from Berlin Made no money so was incredibly thin Out of sheer desperation |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 17 2013, 01:52 PM Post #1033 |
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An accountant who hailed from Berlin Made no money so was incredibly thin Out of sheer desperation Gave in to temptation |
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| Mobson | Aug 17 2013, 02:01 PM Post #1034 |
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An accountant who hailed from Berlin Made no money so was incredibly thin Out of sheer desperation Gave in to temptation And stole rubbish out of a bin... +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ .......................................... ........................................... Decided he'd had enough .................................. ................................................. Edited by Mobson, Aug 17 2013, 02:03 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 17 2013, 02:39 PM Post #1035 |
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.......................................... ........................................... Decided he'd had enough He emptied his navel of fluff ................................................. |
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| Mobson | Aug 19 2013, 12:15 PM Post #1036 |
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No luck with gambling or the Lotto ........................................... Decided he'd had enough He emptied his navel of fluff ................................................. |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 20 2013, 10:48 AM Post #1037 |
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No luck with gambling or the Lotto ........................................... Decided he'd had enough He emptied his navel of fluff And off he went and got himself blotto |
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| Rikiiboy | Aug 20 2013, 11:06 AM Post #1038 |
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No luck with gambling or the Lotto And know when to give in's his motto Decided he'd had enough He emptied his navel of fluff And off he went and got himself blotto. ------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------- That'll teach you to kick me. Edited by Rikiiboy, Aug 20 2013, 11:07 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 21 2013, 10:08 AM Post #1039 |
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------------------------------------- I thought at the time you might trick me -------------------------- -------------------------- That'll teach you to kick me. |
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| Mobson | Aug 21 2013, 12:07 PM Post #1040 |
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PC Plod - that'll teach you to nick me I thought at the time you might trick me -------------------------- -------------------------- That'll teach you to kick me. |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 23 2013, 10:50 AM Post #1041 |
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PC Plod - that'll teach you to nick me I thought at the time you might trick me I know who you are -------------------------- That'll teach you to kick me. |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 24 2013, 03:00 PM Post #1042 |
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PC Plod - that'll teach you to nick me I thought at the time you might trick me I know who you are and the make of your car That'll teach you to kick me. ....................................... ........................................... The game was a mess .............................. ............................................. |
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| Rikiiboy | Aug 26 2013, 05:19 PM Post #1043 |
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When the ref' showed Wally a red card ........................................... The game was a mess .............................. ............................................. |
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| waiting4atickle | Aug 26 2013, 11:47 PM Post #1044 |
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When the ref' showed Wally a red card ........................................... The game was a mess And I'll give you one guess ............................................. |
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| Mobson | Aug 27 2013, 10:31 AM Post #1045 |
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When the ref' showed Wally a red card ........................................... The game was a mess And I'll give you one guess In protest, his clothes Wally did discard |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 27 2013, 03:35 PM Post #1046 |
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When the ref' showed Wally a red card He came across as being quite hard The game was a mess And I'll give you one guess In protest, his clothes Wally did discard The flowers were a cascade of colour |
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| Mobson | Aug 29 2013, 11:23 AM Post #1047 |
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The flowers were a cascade of colour .................................................. ......... ......... My attire couldn't be any duller |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 30 2013, 05:26 PM Post #1048 |
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The flowers were a cascade of colour Anything but a bland shade of pallor..... ......... ......... My attire couldn't be any duller Edited by Norm Deplume, Aug 30 2013, 05:27 PM.
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| tafkaj | Aug 31 2013, 12:08 PM Post #1049 |
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The flowers were a cascade of colour Anything but a bland shade of pallor..... ![]() From yellow to red ......... My attire couldn't be any duller |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 1 2013, 03:06 PM Post #1050 |
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The flowers were a cascade of colour Anything but a bland shade of pallor..... ![]() From yellow to red Was it something I said? My attire couldn't be any duller |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 1 2013, 03:07 PM Post #1051 |
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"IN CASE OF DISASTER,BREAK GLASS" |
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| Mobson | Sep 2 2013, 11:11 AM Post #1052 |
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"IN CASE OF DISASTER, BREAK GLASS" ......................................................... ............ ............ Don't turn an Emergency into a Farce... |
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| tafkaj | Sep 3 2013, 02:06 PM Post #1053 |
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"IN CASE OF DISASTER, BREAK GLASS WITH A KICK OR A SWING OF YOUR ARSE!" ............ ............ Don't turn an Emergency into a Farce... |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 3 2013, 04:44 PM Post #1054 |
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"IN CASE OF DISASTER, BREAK GLASS WITH A KICK OR A SWING OF YOUR ARSE!" Please do it now ............ Don't turn an Emergency into a Farce... Edited by Norm Deplume, Sep 3 2013, 04:44 PM.
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| Mobson | Sep 4 2013, 10:24 AM Post #1055 |
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"IN CASE OF DISASTER, BREAK GLASS WITH A KICK OR A SWING OF YOUR ARSE!" Please do it now Any way, any how Don't turn an Emergency into a Farce... |
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| Mobson | Sep 4 2013, 10:26 AM Post #1056 |
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Firefighter Fred was a burly old cuss |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 4 2013, 12:41 PM Post #1057 |
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Firefighter Fred was a burly old cuss He never sought to kick up a fuss |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 4 2013, 12:49 PM Post #1058 |
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Firefighter Fred was a burly old cuss He never sought to kick up a fuss Out of character one day |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 5 2013, 12:12 PM Post #1059 |
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Firefighter Fred was a burly old cuss He never sought to kick up a fuss Out of character one day He was heard to say: |
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| Mobson | Sep 5 2013, 05:47 PM Post #1060 |
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Firefighter Fred was a burly old cuss He never sought to kick up a fuss Out of character one day He was heard to say: Wish I'd learned to drive a bus Edited by Mobson, Sep 5 2013, 05:49 PM.
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| Mobson | Sep 5 2013, 05:51 PM Post #1061 |
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Stinky Stan was a smooth operator ................................................. ........................ ........................ .......................................... Edited by Mobson, Sep 5 2013, 05:51 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 5 2013, 06:36 PM Post #1062 |
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Stinky Stan was a smooth operator ................................................. ........................ ........................ "I am off out but I'll see you later" Edited by Norm Deplume, Sep 5 2013, 06:36 PM.
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| Mobson | Sep 6 2013, 11:48 AM Post #1063 |
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Stinky Stan was a smooth operator An excellent criminal calculator ........................ ........................ "I am off out but I'll see you later" Edited by Mobson, Sep 6 2013, 11:49 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 6 2013, 12:21 PM Post #1064 |
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Stinky Stan was a smooth operator An excellent criminal calculator When caught in the act ........................ "I am off out but I'll see you later" |
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| tafkaj | Sep 7 2013, 11:38 AM Post #1065 |
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Stinky Stan was a smooth operator, An excellent criminal calculator; When caught in the act, He'd say, with some tact: "I am off out but I'll see you later." ******************************************** -------------------------------------------- And cardamom's just not my thing ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------------------------------------- |
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| Mobson | Sep 7 2013, 01:42 PM Post #1066 |
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The ghost chilli will definitely sting And cardamom's just not my thing ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------------------------------------- Edited by Mobson, Sep 7 2013, 01:44 PM.
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 7 2013, 01:51 PM Post #1067 |
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The ghost chilli will definitely sting And cardamom's just not my thing ------------------------------ ------------------------------ I'll just deck myself out with my bling |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 7 2013, 03:15 PM Post #1068 |
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The ghost chilli will definitely sting And cardamom's just not my thing ------------------------------ And so, now and then I'll just deck myself out with my bling Edited by Norm Deplume, Sep 7 2013, 03:17 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 9 2013, 10:25 AM Post #1069 |
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The ghost chilli will definitely sting And cardamom's just not my thing I've practised my Zen And so, now and then I'll just deck myself out with my bling A chap with a girlfriend named Polly |
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| Mobson | Sep 9 2013, 12:23 PM Post #1070 |
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A chap with a girlfriend named Polly Once defended her using his brolly |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 9 2013, 06:56 PM Post #1071 |
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A chap with a girlfriend named Polly Once defended her using his brolly He jabbed the sharp end |
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| Mobson | Sep 10 2013, 10:25 AM Post #1072 |
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A chap with a girlfriend named Polly Once defended her using his brolly He jabbed the sharp end ................................... T'was a nutter who'd gone off his trolley |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 12 2013, 04:07 PM Post #1073 |
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A chap with a girlfriend named Polly Once defended her using his brolly He jabbed the sharp end Where the sun would not bend T'was a nutter who'd gone off his trolley A friendly girl sailor called Lindy |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 12 2013, 04:21 PM Post #1074 |
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A friendly girl sailor called Lindy Had a boy friend from Rawalpindi |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 12 2013, 06:43 PM Post #1075 |
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A friendly girl sailor called Lindy Had a boy friend from Rawalpindi -------------- -------------- Because he was simply too windy. |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 12 2013, 11:00 PM Post #1076 |
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A friendly girl sailor called Lindy Had a boy friend from Rawalpindi He cooked her a curry -------------- Because he was simply too windy. |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 13 2013, 10:18 AM Post #1077 |
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A friendly girl sailor called Lindy Had a boy friend from Rawalpindi He cooked her a curry But just could not hurry Because he was simply too windy. A cheeky young floozy from Staines |
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| Mobson | Sep 13 2013, 11:13 AM Post #1078 |
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A cheeky young floozy from Staines ................................................... ................ ................ Seeking out men who owned their own planes Edited by Mobson, Sep 13 2013, 11:23 AM.
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| tafkaj | Sep 13 2013, 11:40 AM Post #1079 |
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A cheeky young floozy from Staines Was said to dry-cure monkey brains ................ ................ Seeking out men who owned their own planes |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 13 2013, 12:07 PM Post #1080 |
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A cheeky young floozy from Staines Was said to dry-cure monkey brains Then scattered them afar ................ Seeking out men who owned their own planes |
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| Mobson | Sep 16 2013, 01:53 PM Post #1081 |
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A cheeky young floozy from Staines Was said to dry-cure monkey brains Then scattered them afar She then went to America Seeking out men who owned their own planes Edited by Mobson, Sep 16 2013, 01:53 PM.
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| Mobson | Sep 16 2013, 01:58 PM Post #1082 |
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Fearful of avoiding attachment
Edited by Mobson, Sep 16 2013, 03:36 PM.
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 16 2013, 02:58 PM Post #1083 |
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fearful of avoiding attachment I looked up what "a good catch" meant |
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| tafkaj | Sep 17 2013, 01:30 PM Post #1084 |
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Fearful of avoiding attachment, I looked up what "a good catch" meant; ---------------------------- With a flyfishing rod --------------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 17 2013, 03:16 PM Post #1085 |
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Fearful of avoiding attachment, I looked up what "a good catch" meant; It wasn't a cod With a flyfishing rod --------------------------------------------- |
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| tafkaj | Sep 21 2013, 11:33 AM Post #1086 |
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Fearful of avoiding attachment, I looked up what "a good catch" meant; It wasn't a cod With a flyfishing rod But a trout with a sense of detachment. ******************************************** ------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- So, naturally, it fell -------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 22 2013, 02:21 AM Post #1087 |
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------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- So, naturally, it fell To the man with the bell ------------------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 22 2013, 10:57 AM Post #1088 |
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oops, sorry tick I looked round to see who had muttered -------------------------------------- So, naturally, it fell To the man with the bell -------------------------------------- Edited by dai Cottomy, Sep 22 2013, 11:12 AM.
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 22 2013, 11:05 AM Post #1089 |
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What happened to my line? |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 22 2013, 11:16 AM Post #1090 |
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I looked round to see who had muttered -------------------------------------- So, naturally, it fell To the man with the bell -------------------------------------- |
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| Mobson | Sep 22 2013, 12:59 PM Post #1091 |
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I looked round to see who had muttered -------------------------------------- So, naturally, it fell To the man with the bell Who wasn't mute but clearly stuttered |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 25 2013, 01:29 PM Post #1092 |
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I looked round to see who had muttered The obscene phrase that was uttered So, naturally, it fell To the man with the bell Who wasn't mute but clearly stuttered .................................................. Can't be sure but I think it went well .................. ................ .................................................. |
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| Mobson | Sep 28 2013, 08:41 AM Post #1093 |
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.................................................. Can't be sure but I think it went well .................. ................ Although there was a very strange smell |
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| tafkaj | Sep 28 2013, 12:09 PM Post #1094 |
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Had a meeting wi' Old Nick down in Hell - Can't be sure but I think it went well .................. ................ Although there was a very strange smell |
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| Mobson | Sep 28 2013, 03:17 PM Post #1095 |
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Had a meeting wi' Old Nick down in Hell - Can't be sure but I think it went well We wheeled and we dealed ................ Although there was a very strange smell |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 28 2013, 03:27 PM Post #1096 |
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Had a meeting wi' Old Nick down in Hell - Can't be sure but I think it went well We wheeled and we dealed Our friendship we sealed Although there was a very strange smell I looked down, saw my trousers were burning |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 28 2013, 03:42 PM Post #1097 |
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I looked down, saw my trousers were burning It was right where I get that strange yearning |
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| Mobson | Sep 29 2013, 03:50 PM Post #1098 |
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I looked down, saw my trousers were burning It was right where I get that strange yearning ............... ............... T'was then that my stomach started churning |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 30 2013, 06:51 PM Post #1099 |
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I looked down, saw my trousers were burning It was right where I get that strange yearning I looked down and saw ............... T'was then that my stomach started churning |
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| Mobson | Oct 1 2013, 08:18 AM Post #1100 |
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I looked down, saw my trousers were burning It was right where I get that strange yearning I looked down and saw A horrendous great claw T'was then that my stomach started churning |
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Norm - we finished that one and Rikiiboy's put up a new line in 1001....


7:03 AM Jul 13