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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,614 Views)
dai Cottomy
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792



It's awful, the lies that we tell
And maybe we'll all go to Hell
So always tell the Truth
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chocster

Mobson
Nov 26 2013, 11:15 AM
:-/ I'm abstaining from this one!...
Does it hurt like India beating Pakistan hurts?


sorry Norm



I thank Norm for teaching me the rules
The knowledge is worth its weight in 'jools'
---------------------------------
--------------------------------
Thank goodness he had bought the right 'tools'.

Edited by chocster, Nov 27 2013, 09:04 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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thank Norm for teaching me the rules
The knowledge is worth its weight in 'jools'
It's the syllable count
--------------------------------
Thank goodness he had bought the right 'tools'
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chocster

thank Norm for teaching me the rules
The knowledge is worth its weight in 'jools'
It's the syllable count
I had to surmount
Thank goodness he had bought the right 'tools'

Now I can limerick with gay abandon
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Norm Deplume
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Now I can limerick with gay abandon
...............................................
...................
................
Are you sure you're not Ugandan?
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dai Cottomy
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Now I can limerick with gay abandon
If the right words I happen to land on
...................
................
Are you sure you're not Ugandan?
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Mobson
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Now I can limerick with gay abandon
If the right words I happen to land on
Make a sensical rhyme
................
Are you sure you're not Ugandan?
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tafkaj

Now I can limerick with gay abandon
If the right words I happen to land on
Make a sensical rhyme
In African time -
Are you sure you're not Ugandan?

********************************************

--------------------------------------
--------------------------------------
'Cos St Andrew's Day
-------------------------
--------------------------------------
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chocster

--------------------------------------
--------------------------------------
'Cos St Andrew's Day
-------------------------
Kilt, whiskey, porridge and fried Mars bar
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Norm Deplume
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In the Highlands in my brand new car
......................................................
'Cos St Andrew's Day
-------------------------
Kilt, whiskey, porridge and fried Mars bar

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waiting4atickle
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In the Highlands in my brand new car
......................................................
'Cos St Andrew's Day
Is the time to display
Kilt, whiskey, porridge and fried Mars bar

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Mobson
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In the Highlands in my brand new car
Celebrating with my Ma and my Pa
'Cos St Andrew's Day
Is the time to display
Kilt, whiskey, porridge and fried Mars bar
Edited by Mobson, Dec 2 2013, 02:39 PM.
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Mobson
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Old Jock wears his kilt with pride
Edited by Mobson, Dec 2 2013, 05:16 PM.
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chocster

Old Jock wears his kilt with pride
------------------------------------
-----------------------
-----------------------
Insisted he preferred his chocolate fried
Edited by chocster, Dec 2 2013, 02:44 PM.
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Mobson
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Old Jock wears his kilt with pride
Young Hamish, his mate, by his side
-----------------------
-----------------------
Insisted he preferred his chocolate fried
Edited by Mobson, Dec 2 2013, 05:26 PM.
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chocster

Old Jock wears his kilt with pride
Young Hamish, his mate, by his side
Was given the choice
-----------------------
Insisted he preferred his chocolate fried
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Norm Deplume
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Old Jock wears his kilt with pride
Young Hamish, his mate, by his side
Was given the choice
And by applying his voice
Insisted he preferred his chocolate fried


.....................................
.....................................
......................
......................
He told them just where they could go



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waiting4atickle
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A scuba diver in Scapa Flow
.....................................
......................
......................
He told them just where they could go

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chocster

A scuba diver in Scapa Flow
Reputed as one of those in the know
......................

He told them just where they could go
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dai Cottomy
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A scuba diver in Scapa Flow
Reputed as one of those in the know
Said "I've seen a mermaid"

He told them just where they could go
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tafkaj

A scuba diver in Scapa Flow
Reputed as one of those in the know
Said "I've seen a mermaid"
And was offered some first aid -
He told them just where they could go

************************************

--------------------------------------
--------------------------------------
And then you can start
-----------------------------
--------------------------------------
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chocster

--------------------------------------
--------------------------------------
And then you can start
Letting go of that fart
--------------------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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--------------------------------------
--------------------------------------
And then you can start
Letting go of that fart...........................................I have mentioned about your lavatorial behaviour already Chocs. I have no idea what other boards you frequent but this one is respectable, please keep it that way.
--------------------------------------
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chocster

--------------------------------------
--------------------------------------
And then you can start
By dumping that tart (I don't know where that line was supposed to go of yours, but it certainly is a lot longer than 10 syllables and you didn't leave a line)
-------------------------------------
Edited by chocster, Dec 3 2013, 05:43 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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What line are you on about?


I had been to a party in town
--------------------------------------
And then you can start
By dumping that tart (I don't know where that line was supposed to go of yours, but it certainly is a lot longer than 10 syllables and you didn't leave a line)
-------------------------------------
Edited by Norm Deplume, Dec 3 2013, 08:07 PM.
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chocster

I had been to a party in town
--------------------------------------
And then you can start
By dumping that tart
I don't care how good she is at countdown
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Norm Deplume
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I don't care how good she is at countdown ............10 sylables,the first line only has 8
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tafkaj

I had been to a party in town,
But returned and said to the clown:
" ... And then you can start
By dumping that tart -
I don't care how good she is at Countdown."

*****************************************

---------------------------------------------
But never again will I cry
--------------------------------
--------------------------------
---------------------------------------------
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chocster

Norm Deplume
Dec 7 2013, 11:15 AM
I don't care how good she is at countdown ............10 sylables,the first line only has 8
I thought you said that first two lines can be eight to ten syllables? So the last can be eight-to ten but needs to be less than the first and/or second line.
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waiting4atickle
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I know that we're all bound to die
But never again will I cry
--------------------------------
--------------------------------
---------------------------------------------

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chocster

I know that we're all bound to die
But never again will I cry
--------------------------------
--------------------------------
Who'd have thought it was true and we'd fry
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tafkaj

I know that we're all bound to die
But never again will I cry
'Bout the Earth and the sun
--------------------------------
Who'd have thought it was true and we'd fry
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Mobson
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I know that we're all bound to die
But never again will I cry
'Bout the Earth and the sun
All the damage we've done
Who'd have thought it was true and we'd fry
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Mobson
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so believe me when I say
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chocster

so believe me when I say
as I stand right here today
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Mobson
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so believe me when I say
as I stand right here today
.......
.......
"I'll be back" as they cart me away.
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chocster

so believe me when I say
as I stand right here today
Our friend hyperstar
.......
"I'll be back" as they cart me away.
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dai Cottomy
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so believe me when I say
as I stand right here today
Our friend hyperstar
Cries out from afar
"I'll be back" as they cart me away.


It was only a horrible dream
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chocster

It was only a horrible dream
Even if for a time it did seem
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Norm Deplume
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It was only a horrible dream
Even if for a time it did seem
To be frighteningly true
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Mobson
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It was only a horrible dream
Even if for a time it did seem
To be frighteningly true
Making me terribly blue
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chocster

It was only a horrible dream
Even if for a time it did seem
To be frighteningly true
Making me terribly blue
Hyperstar, in asylum eating ice-cream

The flavour of said dessert was mint choc chip
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Norm Deplume
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The flavour of said dessert was mint choc chip. Please pay attention Chocs!! ELEVEN syllables Is too many
Edited by Norm Deplume, Dec 14 2013, 12:02 PM.
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chocster

The flavour of said dessert was mint choc (I have heard of grammar Nazis but limerick ones lol...)
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tafkaj

The flavour of said dessert was mint choc
-----------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------
-----------------------------------
Filtered through an old man's dirty sock.
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Mobson
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What's with the references to Hyperstar! - he's old news innit! <mrdickybird>


The flavour of said dessert's mint choc
Which had solidified into a block
------------------------
------------------------
Filtered through an old man's dirty sock.
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Norm Deplume
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The flavour of said dessert's mint choc
Which had solidified into a block
Tasted vile at its best
------------------------
Filtered through an old man's dirty sock.
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chocster

The flavour of said dessert's mint choc
Which had solidified into a block
Tasted vile at its best
Like a pigeon's nest
Filtered through an old man's dirty sock.
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Mobson
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....need a line from you chocster....
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chocster

^^lol

As said many a friend wanting cocaine
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Norm Deplume
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"As said many a friend wanting cocaine"


Sorry to keep being picky Chocs but your line makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to me!
Edited by Norm Deplume, Dec 17 2013, 11:49 AM.
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Mobson
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Hmmm, that line doesn't make sense nor have rhythm....

Ticks'll tell you choc - it's all to do with scansion...the process of marking the stresses in a poem (or limerick), and working out the metre from the distribution of stresses. Take a look at this ... http://server.riverdale.k12.or.us/~bblack/meter.html

Edited by Mobson, Dec 17 2013, 12:09 PM.
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tafkaj

[I'll take the bull by the horns and put the line into some form of scansion - and assume it was meant as the opening line ... ]

As a friend said, who wanted cocaine:
------------------------------------------
---------------------------------
---------------------------------
But I'm hoping it'll cure this chilblain."
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Mobson
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<ok>

As a friend said, who wanted cocaine:
Not for pleasure but strictly for pain
---------------------------------
---------------------------------
But I'm hoping it'll cure this chilblain."
Edited by Mobson, Dec 17 2013, 02:37 PM.
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tafkaj

As a friend said, who wanted cocaine,
Not for pleasure but strictly for pain:
"It'll be my first time
---------------------------------
But I'm hoping it'll cure this chilblain."
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chocster

As a friend said, who wanted cocaine,
Not for pleasure but strictly for pain:
"It'll be my first time
I know it's a crime
But I'm hoping it'll cure this chilblain."
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dai Cottomy
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very good, but our audience is waiting with bated breath for the next one
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Mobson
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Yep agree that worked well... <XMAS1>RFTGKILO
Edited by Mobson, Dec 17 2013, 07:30 PM.
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chocster

The main problem with writing limericks
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Norm Deplume
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The main problem with writing limericks,
Too many syllables gets you in-a-fix
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waiting4atickle
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The main problem with writing limericks,
Too many syllables gets you in-a-fix
But Dash it, I say
------------------
-------------------------------

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Norm Deplume
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The main problem with writing limericks,
Too many syllables gets you in-a-fix
But Dash it, I say
If you don't want to play
-------------------------------
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dai Cottomy
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The main problem with writing limericks,
Too many syllables gets you in-a-fix
But Dash it, I say
If you don't want to play
Click on images and look at the pics


You'll find pictures of all sorts of things


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Norm Deplume
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You'll find pictures of all sorts of things
From pear-drops to peaches and Kings
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Norm Deplume
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You'll find pictures of all sorts of things
From pear-drops to peaches and Kings,
There's baubles and beads
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Mobson
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You'll find pictures of all sorts of things
From pear-drops to peaches and Kings,
There's baubles and beads
.....................................
Pretty trinkets and sparkly rings
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tafkaj

You'll find pictures of all sorts of things
From pear-drops to peaches and Kings,
There're baubles and beads
And murd'rous deeds
Pretty trinkets and sparkly rings.

***************************************

--------------------------------------------
Come, gentlemen, ladies and all
--------------------------------
--------------------------------
--------------------------------------------
Edited by tafkaj, Dec 21 2013, 01:13 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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--------------------------------------------
Come, gentlemen, ladies and all
--------------------------------
--------------------------------
That's right! We are having a ball
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Mobson
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Prey listen and hear my call
Come, gentlemen, ladies and all
--------------------------------
--------------------------------
That's right! We are having a ball
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dai Cottomy
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Prey listen and hear my call
Come, gentlemen, ladies and all
--------------------------------
It's time to shake a leg
That's right! We are having a ball
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Norm Deplume
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Prey listen and hear my call
Come, gentlemen, ladies and all
I ask, but do not beg
It's time to shake a leg
That's right! We are having a ball


There are thousands out shopping today
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Caro

There are thousands out shopping today
--------------------------------------
From diamonds to ham
-----------------
-------------------------------------
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waiting4atickle
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There are thousands out shopping today
--------------------------------------
From diamonds to ham
-----------------
And there's going to be hell to pay.

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dai Cottomy
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There are thousands out shopping today
--------------------------------------
From diamonds to ham
And raspberry jam
And there's going to be hell to pay.
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tafkaj

There are thousands out shopping today
In London and Bath and Torbay:
From diamonds to ham
And raspberry jam
And there's going to be hell to pay.

**************************************

-----------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
------------------------------
And don't drink and drive
-----------------------------------------
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dai Cottomy
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-----------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
Try to stay alive
And don't drink and drive
-----------------------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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-----------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
Try to stay alive
And don't drink and drive
'Cos the drink will splash onto your lap
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Norm Deplume
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In the car with some ham in a bap
-----------------------------------------
Try to stay alive
And don't drink and drive
'Cos the drink will splash onto your lap
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Mobson
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In the car with some ham in a bap
I must try to avoid a mishap
Try to stay alive
And don't drink and drive
'Cos the drink will splash onto your lap
Edited by Mobson, Dec 26 2013, 01:48 AM.
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Mobson
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Christmas Day came and went pretty quickly
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Norm Deplume
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Christmas Day came and went pretty quickly
...........................................................
..................
..................
After that I am feeling quite sickly
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Mobson
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Christmas Day came and went pretty quickly
Whilst watching the final of Strictly
..................
..................
After that I am feeling quite sickly
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dai Cottomy
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Christmas Day came and went pretty quickly
Whilst watching the final of Strictly
I down'd a large sherry
..................
After that I am feeling quite sickly
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chocster

Christmas Day came and went pretty quickly
Whilst watching the final of Strictly
I down'd a large sherry
Pretended I'm a ferry
After that I am feeling quite sickly
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Mobson
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and a new line please chocster....
Edited by Mobson, Dec 28 2013, 10:07 AM.
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tafkaj

(We haven't got all day ... ! <whistles> )

------------------------------------------------
By taking out extra insurance
--------------------------------
--------------------------------
------------------------------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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Backed up my enormous endurance
By taking out extra insurance
--------------------------------
--------------------------------
------------------------------------------------
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dai Cottomy
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Backed up my enormous endurance
By taking out extra insurance
--------------------------------
--------------------------------
Does wonders for my continued affluence
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Mobson
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Backed up my enormous endurance
By taking out extra insurance
I'm assured longevity
-----------------------
Does wonders for my continued affluence
Edited by Mobson, Jan 1 2014, 06:28 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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Backed up my enormous endurance
By taking out extra insurance
I'm assured longevity
A life without brevity
Does wonders for my continued affluence


I'll share this secret with you all


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Norm Deplume
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I'll share this secret with you all
.............................................
..................
..................
A laugh? It really is a ball
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dai Cottomy
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I'll share this secret with you all
When skiing avoid having a fall
..................
..................
A laugh? It really is a ball
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waiting4atickle
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I'll share this secret with you all
When skiing avoid having a fall
'Cause if you hit your head
..................
A laugh? It really is a ball

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Mobson
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I'll share this secret with you all
When skiing avoid having a fall
'Cause if you hit your head
You may well end up dead
A laugh? It really is a ball



Edited by Mobson, Jan 1 2014, 09:40 PM.
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Mobson
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Best not to tempt fate more'n once
Edited by Mobson, Jan 1 2014, 09:44 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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Best not to tempt fate more'n once
Doing so marks you out as a dunce
----------------
----------------
-----------------------------
Edited by waiting4atickle, Jan 1 2014, 10:09 PM.
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Mobson
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Best not to tempt fate more'n once
Doing so marks you out as a dunce
----------------
Be e'er so canny
-----------------------------
Edited by Mobson, Jan 2 2014, 12:45 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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Best not to tempt fate more'n once
Doing so marks you out as a dunce
----------------
Be e'er so canny
Or end up in an ambulance
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Mobson
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Best not to tempt fate more'n once
Doing so marks you out as a dunce
Like Dyer Danny
Be e'er so canny
Or end up in an ambulance
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Mobson
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.................................................
.................................................
Just 3 days past
...................................
.................................................
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tafkaj

.................................................
For the start of a Happy New Year
Just 3 days past
...................................
.................................................
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