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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,614 Views) | |
| dai Cottomy | Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM Post #1 |
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792 It's awful, the lies that we tell And maybe we'll all go to Hell So always tell the Truth |
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| chocster | Nov 27 2013, 08:50 PM Post #1201 |
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Does it hurt like India beating Pakistan hurts? sorry Norm I thank Norm for teaching me the rules The knowledge is worth its weight in 'jools' --------------------------------- -------------------------------- Thank goodness he had bought the right 'tools'. Edited by chocster, Nov 27 2013, 09:04 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Nov 28 2013, 04:56 PM Post #1202 |
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thank Norm for teaching me the rules The knowledge is worth its weight in 'jools' It's the syllable count -------------------------------- Thank goodness he had bought the right 'tools' |
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| chocster | Nov 28 2013, 07:04 PM Post #1203 |
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thank Norm for teaching me the rules The knowledge is worth its weight in 'jools' It's the syllable count I had to surmount Thank goodness he had bought the right 'tools' Now I can limerick with gay abandon |
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| Norm Deplume | Nov 28 2013, 09:18 PM Post #1204 |
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Now I can limerick with gay abandon ............................................... ................... ................ Are you sure you're not Ugandan? |
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| dai Cottomy | Nov 29 2013, 01:30 AM Post #1205 |
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Now I can limerick with gay abandon If the right words I happen to land on ................... ................ Are you sure you're not Ugandan? |
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| Mobson | Nov 30 2013, 09:15 AM Post #1206 |
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Now I can limerick with gay abandon If the right words I happen to land on Make a sensical rhyme ................ Are you sure you're not Ugandan? |
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| tafkaj | Nov 30 2013, 12:23 PM Post #1207 |
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Now I can limerick with gay abandon If the right words I happen to land on Make a sensical rhyme In African time - Are you sure you're not Ugandan? ******************************************** -------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- 'Cos St Andrew's Day ------------------------- -------------------------------------- |
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| chocster | Nov 30 2013, 04:15 PM Post #1208 |
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-------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- 'Cos St Andrew's Day ------------------------- Kilt, whiskey, porridge and fried Mars bar |
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 1 2013, 05:33 PM Post #1209 |
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In the Highlands in my brand new car ...................................................... 'Cos St Andrew's Day ------------------------- Kilt, whiskey, porridge and fried Mars bar |
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 2 2013, 11:28 AM Post #1210 |
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In the Highlands in my brand new car ...................................................... 'Cos St Andrew's Day Is the time to display Kilt, whiskey, porridge and fried Mars bar |
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| Mobson | Dec 2 2013, 02:39 PM Post #1211 |
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In the Highlands in my brand new car Celebrating with my Ma and my Pa 'Cos St Andrew's Day Is the time to display Kilt, whiskey, porridge and fried Mars bar Edited by Mobson, Dec 2 2013, 02:39 PM.
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| Mobson | Dec 2 2013, 02:41 PM Post #1212 |
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Old Jock wears his kilt with pride
Edited by Mobson, Dec 2 2013, 05:16 PM.
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| chocster | Dec 2 2013, 02:41 PM Post #1213 |
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Old Jock wears his kilt with pride ------------------------------------ ----------------------- ----------------------- Insisted he preferred his chocolate fried Edited by chocster, Dec 2 2013, 02:44 PM.
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| Mobson | Dec 2 2013, 05:25 PM Post #1214 |
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Old Jock wears his kilt with pride Young Hamish, his mate, by his side ----------------------- ----------------------- Insisted he preferred his chocolate fried Edited by Mobson, Dec 2 2013, 05:26 PM.
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| chocster | Dec 2 2013, 06:20 PM Post #1215 |
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Old Jock wears his kilt with pride Young Hamish, his mate, by his side Was given the choice ----------------------- Insisted he preferred his chocolate fried |
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 2 2013, 09:10 PM Post #1216 |
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Old Jock wears his kilt with pride Young Hamish, his mate, by his side Was given the choice And by applying his voice Insisted he preferred his chocolate fried ..................................... ..................................... ...................... ...................... He told them just where they could go |
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 3 2013, 12:04 AM Post #1217 |
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A scuba diver in Scapa Flow ..................................... ...................... ...................... He told them just where they could go |
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| chocster | Dec 3 2013, 02:00 AM Post #1218 |
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A scuba diver in Scapa Flow Reputed as one of those in the know ...................... He told them just where they could go |
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 3 2013, 12:44 PM Post #1219 |
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A scuba diver in Scapa Flow Reputed as one of those in the know Said "I've seen a mermaid" He told them just where they could go |
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| tafkaj | Dec 3 2013, 02:30 PM Post #1220 |
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A scuba diver in Scapa Flow Reputed as one of those in the know Said "I've seen a mermaid" And was offered some first aid - He told them just where they could go ************************************ -------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- And then you can start ----------------------------- -------------------------------------- |
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| chocster | Dec 3 2013, 04:24 PM Post #1221 |
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-------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- And then you can start Letting go of that fart -------------------------------------- |
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 3 2013, 04:43 PM Post #1222 |
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-------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- And then you can start Letting go of that fart...........................................I have mentioned about your lavatorial behaviour already Chocs. I have no idea what other boards you frequent but this one is respectable, please keep it that way. -------------------------------------- |
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| chocster | Dec 3 2013, 04:46 PM Post #1223 |
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-------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- And then you can start By dumping that tart (I don't know where that line was supposed to go of yours, but it certainly is a lot longer than 10 syllables and you didn't leave a line) ------------------------------------- Edited by chocster, Dec 3 2013, 05:43 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 3 2013, 08:05 PM Post #1224 |
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What line are you on about? I had been to a party in town -------------------------------------- And then you can start By dumping that tart (I don't know where that line was supposed to go of yours, but it certainly is a lot longer than 10 syllables and you didn't leave a line) ------------------------------------- Edited by Norm Deplume, Dec 3 2013, 08:07 PM.
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| chocster | Dec 4 2013, 01:32 AM Post #1225 |
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I had been to a party in town -------------------------------------- And then you can start By dumping that tart I don't care how good she is at countdown |
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 7 2013, 11:15 AM Post #1226 |
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I don't care how good she is at countdown ............10 sylables,the first line only has 8 |
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| tafkaj | Dec 7 2013, 01:19 PM Post #1227 |
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I had been to a party in town, But returned and said to the clown: " ... And then you can start By dumping that tart - I don't care how good she is at Countdown." ***************************************** --------------------------------------------- But never again will I cry -------------------------------- -------------------------------- --------------------------------------------- |
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| chocster | Dec 7 2013, 04:54 PM Post #1228 |
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I thought you said that first two lines can be eight to ten syllables? So the last can be eight-to ten but needs to be less than the first and/or second line. |
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 9 2013, 11:03 AM Post #1229 |
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I know that we're all bound to die But never again will I cry -------------------------------- -------------------------------- --------------------------------------------- |
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| chocster | Dec 9 2013, 10:42 PM Post #1230 |
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I know that we're all bound to die But never again will I cry -------------------------------- -------------------------------- Who'd have thought it was true and we'd fry |
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| tafkaj | Dec 10 2013, 02:19 PM Post #1231 |
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I know that we're all bound to die But never again will I cry 'Bout the Earth and the sun -------------------------------- Who'd have thought it was true and we'd fry |
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| Mobson | Dec 11 2013, 03:05 PM Post #1232 |
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I know that we're all bound to die But never again will I cry 'Bout the Earth and the sun All the damage we've done Who'd have thought it was true and we'd fry |
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| Mobson | Dec 11 2013, 03:05 PM Post #1233 |
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so believe me when I say |
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| chocster | Dec 11 2013, 04:20 PM Post #1234 |
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so believe me when I say as I stand right here today |
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| Mobson | Dec 12 2013, 09:51 AM Post #1235 |
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so believe me when I say as I stand right here today ....... ....... "I'll be back" as they cart me away. |
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| chocster | Dec 12 2013, 11:58 AM Post #1236 |
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so believe me when I say as I stand right here today Our friend hyperstar ....... "I'll be back" as they cart me away. |
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 12 2013, 12:43 PM Post #1237 |
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so believe me when I say as I stand right here today Our friend hyperstar Cries out from afar "I'll be back" as they cart me away. It was only a horrible dream |
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| chocster | Dec 12 2013, 03:45 PM Post #1238 |
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It was only a horrible dream Even if for a time it did seem |
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 13 2013, 04:52 PM Post #1239 |
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It was only a horrible dream Even if for a time it did seem To be frighteningly true |
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| Mobson | Dec 14 2013, 07:23 AM Post #1240 |
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It was only a horrible dream Even if for a time it did seem To be frighteningly true Making me terribly blue |
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| chocster | Dec 14 2013, 11:22 AM Post #1241 |
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It was only a horrible dream Even if for a time it did seem To be frighteningly true Making me terribly blue Hyperstar, in asylum eating ice-cream The flavour of said dessert was mint choc chip |
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 14 2013, 12:01 PM Post #1242 |
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The flavour of said dessert was mint choc chip. Please pay attention Chocs!! ELEVEN syllables Is too many
Edited by Norm Deplume, Dec 14 2013, 12:02 PM.
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| chocster | Dec 14 2013, 12:18 PM Post #1243 |
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The flavour of said dessert was mint choc (I have heard of grammar Nazis but limerick ones lol...) |
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| tafkaj | Dec 14 2013, 12:47 PM Post #1244 |
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The flavour of said dessert was mint choc ----------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------- ----------------------------------- Filtered through an old man's dirty sock. |
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| Mobson | Dec 14 2013, 03:16 PM Post #1245 |
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What's with the references to Hyperstar! - he's old news innit! The flavour of said dessert's mint choc Which had solidified into a block ------------------------ ------------------------ Filtered through an old man's dirty sock. |
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 14 2013, 03:43 PM Post #1246 |
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The flavour of said dessert's mint choc Which had solidified into a block Tasted vile at its best ------------------------ Filtered through an old man's dirty sock. |
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| chocster | Dec 15 2013, 01:58 AM Post #1247 |
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The flavour of said dessert's mint choc Which had solidified into a block Tasted vile at its best Like a pigeon's nest Filtered through an old man's dirty sock. |
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| Mobson | Dec 17 2013, 04:52 AM Post #1248 |
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....need a line from you chocster.... |
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| chocster | Dec 17 2013, 10:08 AM Post #1249 |
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^^lol As said many a friend wanting cocaine |
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 17 2013, 11:48 AM Post #1250 |
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"As said many a friend wanting cocaine" Sorry to keep being picky Chocs but your line makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to me! Edited by Norm Deplume, Dec 17 2013, 11:49 AM.
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| Mobson | Dec 17 2013, 12:07 PM Post #1251 |
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Hmmm, that line doesn't make sense nor have rhythm.... Ticks'll tell you choc - it's all to do with scansion...the process of marking the stresses in a poem (or limerick), and working out the metre from the distribution of stresses. Take a look at this ... http://server.riverdale.k12.or.us/~bblack/meter.html Edited by Mobson, Dec 17 2013, 12:09 PM.
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| tafkaj | Dec 17 2013, 02:33 PM Post #1252 |
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[I'll take the bull by the horns and put the line into some form of scansion - and assume it was meant as the opening line ... ] As a friend said, who wanted cocaine: ------------------------------------------ --------------------------------- --------------------------------- But I'm hoping it'll cure this chilblain." |
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| Mobson | Dec 17 2013, 02:36 PM Post #1253 |
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As a friend said, who wanted cocaine: Not for pleasure but strictly for pain --------------------------------- --------------------------------- But I'm hoping it'll cure this chilblain." Edited by Mobson, Dec 17 2013, 02:37 PM.
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| tafkaj | Dec 17 2013, 02:58 PM Post #1254 |
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As a friend said, who wanted cocaine, Not for pleasure but strictly for pain: "It'll be my first time --------------------------------- But I'm hoping it'll cure this chilblain." |
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| chocster | Dec 17 2013, 03:47 PM Post #1255 |
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As a friend said, who wanted cocaine, Not for pleasure but strictly for pain: "It'll be my first time I know it's a crime But I'm hoping it'll cure this chilblain." |
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 17 2013, 05:30 PM Post #1256 |
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very good, but our audience is waiting with bated breath for the next one |
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| Mobson | Dec 17 2013, 07:29 PM Post #1257 |
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Yep agree that worked well...
Edited by Mobson, Dec 17 2013, 07:30 PM.
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| chocster | Dec 18 2013, 11:33 AM Post #1258 |
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The main problem with writing limericks |
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 18 2013, 02:29 PM Post #1259 |
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The main problem with writing limericks, Too many syllables gets you in-a-fix |
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 18 2013, 04:35 PM Post #1260 |
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The main problem with writing limericks, Too many syllables gets you in-a-fix But Dash it, I say ------------------ ------------------------------- |
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 18 2013, 05:12 PM Post #1261 |
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The main problem with writing limericks, Too many syllables gets you in-a-fix But Dash it, I say If you don't want to play ------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 18 2013, 08:57 PM Post #1262 |
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The main problem with writing limericks, Too many syllables gets you in-a-fix But Dash it, I say If you don't want to play Click on images and look at the pics You'll find pictures of all sorts of things |
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 18 2013, 09:04 PM Post #1263 |
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You'll find pictures of all sorts of things From pear-drops to peaches and Kings |
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 20 2013, 05:02 PM Post #1264 |
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You'll find pictures of all sorts of things From pear-drops to peaches and Kings, There's baubles and beads |
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| Mobson | Dec 21 2013, 12:33 PM Post #1265 |
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You'll find pictures of all sorts of things From pear-drops to peaches and Kings, There's baubles and beads ..................................... Pretty trinkets and sparkly rings |
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| tafkaj | Dec 21 2013, 01:13 PM Post #1266 |
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You'll find pictures of all sorts of things From pear-drops to peaches and Kings, There're baubles and beads And murd'rous deeds Pretty trinkets and sparkly rings. *************************************** -------------------------------------------- Come, gentlemen, ladies and all -------------------------------- -------------------------------- -------------------------------------------- Edited by tafkaj, Dec 21 2013, 01:13 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 21 2013, 03:20 PM Post #1267 |
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-------------------------------------------- Come, gentlemen, ladies and all -------------------------------- -------------------------------- That's right! We are having a ball |
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| Mobson | Dec 21 2013, 04:09 PM Post #1268 |
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Prey listen and hear my call Come, gentlemen, ladies and all -------------------------------- -------------------------------- That's right! We are having a ball |
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 21 2013, 06:24 PM Post #1269 |
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Prey listen and hear my call Come, gentlemen, ladies and all -------------------------------- It's time to shake a leg That's right! We are having a ball |
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 22 2013, 11:14 AM Post #1270 |
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Prey listen and hear my call Come, gentlemen, ladies and all I ask, but do not beg It's time to shake a leg That's right! We are having a ball There are thousands out shopping today |
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| Caro | Dec 23 2013, 12:08 AM Post #1271 |
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There are thousands out shopping today -------------------------------------- From diamonds to ham ----------------- ------------------------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 23 2013, 12:10 AM Post #1272 |
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There are thousands out shopping today -------------------------------------- From diamonds to ham ----------------- And there's going to be hell to pay. |
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 23 2013, 11:23 AM Post #1273 |
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There are thousands out shopping today -------------------------------------- From diamonds to ham And raspberry jam And there's going to be hell to pay. |
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| tafkaj | Dec 23 2013, 12:23 PM Post #1274 |
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There are thousands out shopping today In London and Bath and Torbay: From diamonds to ham And raspberry jam And there's going to be hell to pay. ************************************** ----------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------- ------------------------------ And don't drink and drive ----------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 23 2013, 04:48 PM Post #1275 |
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----------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------- Try to stay alive And don't drink and drive ----------------------------------------- |
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 23 2013, 09:48 PM Post #1276 |
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----------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------- Try to stay alive And don't drink and drive 'Cos the drink will splash onto your lap |
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 25 2013, 04:23 PM Post #1277 |
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In the car with some ham in a bap ----------------------------------------- Try to stay alive And don't drink and drive 'Cos the drink will splash onto your lap |
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| Mobson | Dec 26 2013, 01:48 AM Post #1278 |
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In the car with some ham in a bap I must try to avoid a mishap Try to stay alive And don't drink and drive 'Cos the drink will splash onto your lap Edited by Mobson, Dec 26 2013, 01:48 AM.
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| Mobson | Dec 26 2013, 01:49 AM Post #1279 |
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Christmas Day came and went pretty quickly |
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 26 2013, 05:17 PM Post #1280 |
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Christmas Day came and went pretty quickly ........................................................... .................. .................. After that I am feeling quite sickly |
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| Mobson | Dec 27 2013, 12:16 AM Post #1281 |
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Christmas Day came and went pretty quickly Whilst watching the final of Strictly .................. .................. After that I am feeling quite sickly |
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 27 2013, 01:42 PM Post #1282 |
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Christmas Day came and went pretty quickly Whilst watching the final of Strictly I down'd a large sherry .................. After that I am feeling quite sickly |
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| chocster | Dec 27 2013, 06:41 PM Post #1283 |
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Christmas Day came and went pretty quickly Whilst watching the final of Strictly I down'd a large sherry Pretended I'm a ferry After that I am feeling quite sickly |
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| Mobson | Dec 28 2013, 10:07 AM Post #1284 |
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and a new line please chocster....
Edited by Mobson, Dec 28 2013, 10:07 AM.
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| tafkaj | Dec 30 2013, 12:27 PM Post #1285 |
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(We haven't got all day ... ! )------------------------------------------------ By taking out extra insurance -------------------------------- -------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------ |
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| Norm Deplume | Dec 30 2013, 01:55 PM Post #1286 |
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Backed up my enormous endurance By taking out extra insurance -------------------------------- -------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------ |
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 30 2013, 02:08 PM Post #1287 |
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Backed up my enormous endurance By taking out extra insurance -------------------------------- -------------------------------- Does wonders for my continued affluence |
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| Mobson | Jan 1 2014, 06:27 AM Post #1288 |
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Backed up my enormous endurance By taking out extra insurance I'm assured longevity ----------------------- Does wonders for my continued affluence Edited by Mobson, Jan 1 2014, 06:28 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Jan 1 2014, 11:31 AM Post #1289 |
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Backed up my enormous endurance By taking out extra insurance I'm assured longevity A life without brevity Does wonders for my continued affluence I'll share this secret with you all |
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 1 2014, 11:42 AM Post #1290 |
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I'll share this secret with you all ............................................. .................. .................. A laugh? It really is a ball |
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| dai Cottomy | Jan 1 2014, 08:08 PM Post #1291 |
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I'll share this secret with you all When skiing avoid having a fall .................. .................. A laugh? It really is a ball |
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| waiting4atickle | Jan 1 2014, 09:05 PM Post #1292 |
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I'll share this secret with you all When skiing avoid having a fall 'Cause if you hit your head .................. A laugh? It really is a ball |
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| Mobson | Jan 1 2014, 09:36 PM Post #1293 |
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I'll share this secret with you all When skiing avoid having a fall 'Cause if you hit your head You may well end up dead A laugh? It really is a ball Edited by Mobson, Jan 1 2014, 09:40 PM.
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| Mobson | Jan 1 2014, 09:41 PM Post #1294 |
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Best not to tempt fate more'n once
Edited by Mobson, Jan 1 2014, 09:44 PM.
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| waiting4atickle | Jan 1 2014, 10:08 PM Post #1295 |
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Best not to tempt fate more'n once Doing so marks you out as a dunce ---------------- ---------------- ----------------------------- Edited by waiting4atickle, Jan 1 2014, 10:09 PM.
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| Mobson | Jan 2 2014, 12:44 AM Post #1296 |
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Best not to tempt fate more'n once Doing so marks you out as a dunce ---------------- Be e'er so canny ----------------------------- Edited by Mobson, Jan 2 2014, 12:45 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 3 2014, 11:03 AM Post #1297 |
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Best not to tempt fate more'n once Doing so marks you out as a dunce ---------------- Be e'er so canny Or end up in an ambulance |
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| Mobson | Jan 3 2014, 11:19 AM Post #1298 |
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Best not to tempt fate more'n once Doing so marks you out as a dunce Like Dyer Danny Be e'er so canny Or end up in an ambulance |
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| Mobson | Jan 3 2014, 11:21 AM Post #1299 |
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................................................. ................................................. Just 3 days past ................................... ................................................. |
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| tafkaj | Jan 4 2014, 12:50 PM Post #1300 |
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................................................. For the start of a Happy New Year Just 3 days past ................................... ................................................. |
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I'm abstaining from this one!... 
)
7:03 AM Jul 13