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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,613 Views) | |
| dai Cottomy | Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM Post #1 |
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792 It's awful, the lies that we tell And maybe we'll all go to Hell So always tell the Truth |
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 4 2014, 04:49 PM Post #1301 |
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................................................. For the start of a Happy New Year Just 3 days past 'Twas almost my last !!! ................................................. |
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| Mobson | Jan 5 2014, 05:14 PM Post #1302 |
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We're supposed to be full of good cheer For the start of a Happy New Year Just 3 days past ................................... ................................................. Edited by Mobson, Jan 5 2014, 05:14 PM.
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| chocster | Jan 5 2014, 11:15 PM Post #1303 |
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We're supposed to be full of good cheer For the start of a Happy New Year Just 3 days past I was aghast Edited by chocster, Jan 5 2014, 11:16 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 7 2014, 04:26 PM Post #1304 |
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We're supposed to be full of good cheer For the start of a Happy New Year Just 3 days past I was aghast To find Santa drinking my beer The weather is wet and quite frightful |
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| tafkaj | Jan 7 2014, 04:50 PM Post #1305 |
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[Assuming a first line, again ... !] The weather is wet and quite frightful ------------------------------------------- --------------------------- --------------------------- But his forecasts are always insightful. |
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 7 2014, 09:11 PM Post #1306 |
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[Assuming a first line, again ... !]--------------------------YES The weather is wet and quite frightful And hardly what we'd call delightful --------------------------- --------------------------- But his forecasts are always insightful. |
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| chocster | Jan 8 2014, 01:30 AM Post #1307 |
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The weather is wet and quite frightful And hardly what we'd call delightful ------------------------- The bookies flooded But his forecasts are always insightful. Edited by chocster, Jan 8 2014, 01:31 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 8 2014, 01:10 PM Post #1308 |
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The weather is wet and quite frightful And hardly what we'd call delightful The ground is all muddied The bookies flooded But his forecasts are always insightful. We're due for a spell of cold weather Edited by Norm Deplume, Jan 11 2014, 11:17 AM.
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| tafkaj | Jan 11 2014, 12:30 PM Post #1309 |
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[Yet another first line, is it Norm ... ?!! ]We're due for a spell of cold weather ------------------------------------------ ---------------------------------- ---------------------------------- But won't be much good for the leather. |
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 11 2014, 05:07 PM Post #1310 |
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If it's not somewhere in the middle of dotted lines then it's OBVIOUSLY the FIRST LINE taf...
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| dai Cottomy | Jan 12 2014, 11:40 AM Post #1311 |
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We're due for a spell of cold weather I shall then reach the end of my tether ---------------------------------- ---------------------------------- But won't be much good for the leather. |
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 12 2014, 03:09 PM Post #1312 |
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We're due for a spell of cold weather I shall then reach the end of my tether ---------------------------------- Though I've donned my string vest But won't be much good for the leather. |
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| tafkaj | Jan 14 2014, 03:11 PM Post #1313 |
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We're due for a spell of cold weather I shall then reach the end of my tether I'm facing the west Though I've donned my string vest But won't be much good for the leather. ********************************************* [This is how it's done, Norm ... ] -------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- But when he remembered -------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- [Just throw as a bone! ]
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 14 2014, 04:28 PM Post #1314 |
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Is that a PEDANT I see before me????? |
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| chocster | Jan 16 2014, 04:54 PM Post #1315 |
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-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- But when he remembered What left was all furred -------------------------------------------------- |
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| tafkaj | Jan 17 2014, 12:26 PM Post #1316 |
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I'm not sure - which way are you facing ... ? While cleaning his favourite kettle -------------------------------------------------- But when he remembered What was left was all furred -------------------------------------------------- |
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 17 2014, 01:33 PM Post #1317 |
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While cleaning his favourite kettle Our man was in very fine fettle But when he remembered What was left was all furred -------------------------------------------------- |
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| Caro | Jan 17 2014, 09:23 PM Post #1318 |
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While cleaning his favourite kettle Our man was in very fine fettle But when he remembered What was left was all furred It was a real test of his mettle. ------------------------------- They say they're not used in the States -------------------- -------------------- ------------------------------- |
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 18 2014, 11:14 AM Post #1319 |
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------------------------------- They say they're not used in the States -------------------- -------------------- They wrapped them and put them in crates |
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| tafkaj | Jan 18 2014, 01:44 PM Post #1320 |
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------------------------------- They say they're not used in the States Unlike in Britain -------------------- They wrapped them and put them in crates |
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 18 2014, 03:52 PM Post #1321 |
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Although they're in desperate straits They say they're not used in the States Unlike in Britain -------------------- They wrapped them and put them in crates Edited by Norm Deplume, Jan 18 2014, 03:53 PM.
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| waiting4atickle | Jan 20 2014, 06:30 PM Post #1322 |
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Although they're in desperate straits They say they're not used in the States Unlike in Britain Where, so it's written, They wrapped them and put them in crates ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------ Then his trousers fell down ------------------------------ |
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| Caro | Jan 21 2014, 06:17 AM Post #1323 |
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------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------ Then his trousers fell down And all was revealed in a flash. |
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 21 2014, 11:10 AM Post #1324 |
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The bank's ATM ran out of cash ------------------------------ ------------------ Then his trousers fell down And all was revealed in a flash. Edited by Norm Deplume, Jan 21 2014, 11:14 AM.
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| tafkaj | Jan 21 2014, 03:29 PM Post #1325 |
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The bank's ATM ran out of cash ------------------------------ He spotted the clown Then his trousers fell down And all was revealed in a flash. |
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| chocster | Jan 22 2014, 08:19 PM Post #1326 |
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The bank's ATM ran out of cash Oddly to the circus he did dash He spotted the clown Then his trousers fell down And all was revealed in a flash. Unveiled were a pair of blue Y-fronts |
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 22 2014, 08:57 PM Post #1327 |
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Unveiled were a pair of blue Y-fronts ..................................................... ....................... ........................... When he started doing his trick stunts |
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| chocster | Jan 22 2014, 11:52 PM Post #1328 |
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Unveiled were a pair of blue Y-fronts ..................................................... ....................... Abracadabra When he started doing his trick stunts |
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 24 2014, 11:37 AM Post #1329 |
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Unveiled were a pair of blue Y-fronts On a pallid-skinned youth with the grunts. ....................... Abracadabra When he started doing his trick stunts |
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| tafkaj | Jan 25 2014, 12:56 PM Post #1330 |
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Unveiled were a pair of blue Y-fronts On a pallid-skinned youth with the grunts. He squealed like a zebra: "Abracadabra" When he started doing his trick stunts. ********************************************* ----------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------- But don't let him fool you ---------------------------------- ----------------------------------------- |
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 25 2014, 02:00 PM Post #1331 |
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His magic,...much like Tommy Cooper ----------------------------------------- But don't let him fool you ---------------------------------- ----------------------------------- |
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| chocster | Jan 26 2014, 11:48 PM Post #1332 |
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His magic,...much like Tommy Cooper Couldn't be described as super duper But don't let him fool you ---------------------------------- ------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | Jan 27 2014, 12:20 AM Post #1333 |
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His magic,...much like Tommy Cooper Couldn't be described as super duper But don't let him fool you ---------------------------------- He was really a paratrooper. |
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 30 2014, 11:57 AM Post #1334 |
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His magic,...much like Tommy Cooper Couldn't be described as super duper But don't let him fool you It was only too true He was really a paratrooper. A plumber in Chorlton-cum-Hardy Edited by Norm Deplume, Jan 30 2014, 12:00 PM.
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| dai Cottomy | Jan 30 2014, 04:55 PM Post #1335 |
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A plumber in Chorlton-cum-Hardy Was so fat,his friends called him Lardy |
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 30 2014, 05:01 PM Post #1336 |
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A plumber in Chorlton-cum-Hardy Was so fat, his friends called him Lardy ...................... While fixing a tap ................................................... Edited by Norm Deplume, Jan 30 2014, 05:03 PM.
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| waiting4atickle | Jan 31 2014, 12:12 AM Post #1337 |
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A plumber in Chorlton-cum-Hardy Was so fat, his friends called him Lardy He'd chew a cheese bap While fixing a tap ................................................... |
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| Caro | Jan 31 2014, 01:33 AM Post #1338 |
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A plumber in Chorlton-cum-Hardy Was so fat, his friends called him Lardy He'd chew a cheese bap While fixing a tap And never could quite fit his cardy. ------------------------------------ "Great catch" the man has just shouted ---------------------- ---------------------- ------------------------------------ |
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 31 2014, 12:52 PM Post #1339 |
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------------------------------------ "Great catch" the man has just shouted ---------------------- ---------------------- A fine team that cannot be doubted |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 3 2014, 05:06 PM Post #1340 |
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The runs had been clearly counted "Great catch" the man has just shouted ---------------------- ---------------------- A fine team that cannot be doubted |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 6 2014, 04:33 PM Post #1341 |
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The runs had been clearly counted "Great catch" the man has just shouted Their last man had gone ---------------------- A fine team that cannot be doubted |
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| tafkaj | Feb 8 2014, 12:51 PM Post #1342 |
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The runs had been clearly counted "Great catch" the man has just shouted Their last man had gone The Ashes were won - A fine team that cannot be doubted. ******************************************** ---------------------------------------------- But call me if I've got it wrong ------------------------------------ ------------------------------------ ---------------------------------------------- |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 8 2014, 04:27 PM Post #1343 |
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I don't think the journey's too long But call me if I've got it wrong ------------------------------------ ------------------------------------ ---------------------------------------------- |
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| chocster | Feb 9 2014, 09:12 PM Post #1344 |
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I don't think the journey's too long But call me if I've got it wrong ------------------------------------ ------------------------- At least a verse of Rama Lama Ding Dong |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 9 2014, 09:57 PM Post #1345 |
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Rhythm, Chocs-----RHYTHM ! ! ! ! |
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| chocster | Feb 10 2014, 07:21 PM Post #1346 |
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I don't think the journey's too long But call me if I've got it wrong ------------------------------------ ------------------------- Hail Mary and Rama Lama Ding Dong |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 10 2014, 07:43 PM Post #1347 |
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I don't think the journey's too long But call me if I've got it wrong Your not answering my calls ------------------------- Hail Mary and Rama Lama Ding Dong |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 10 2014, 10:28 PM Post #1348 |
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I don't think the journey's too long But call me if I've got it wrong Your not answering my calls I'll be washing my smalls Hail Mary and Rama Lama Ding Dong --------------------------------- --------------------------------- -------------------------- It's too good to miss --------------------------------- |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 11 2014, 11:19 AM Post #1349 |
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The Parade was the best ever seen --------------------------------- -------------------------- It's too good to miss --------------------------------- |
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| tafkaj | Feb 11 2014, 03:35 PM Post #1350 |
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The Parade was the best ever seen By Philip and H.M. The Queen -------------------------- It's too good to miss --------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 11 2014, 03:44 PM Post #1351 |
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The Parade was the best ever seen By Philip and H.M. The Queen She blew us a kiss It's too good to miss --------------------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | Feb 12 2014, 12:24 AM Post #1352 |
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The Parade was the best ever seen By Philip and H.M. The Queen She blew us a kiss It's too good to miss Then drove off in a big limousine. ----------------------------- ----------------------------- But the water kept rising ------------------- ----------------------------- |
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| Mobson | Feb 12 2014, 12:42 AM Post #1353 |
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----------------------------- ----------------------------- But the water kept rising The locals surprising ----------------------------- Edited by Mobson, Feb 12 2014, 12:45 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 12 2014, 11:21 AM Post #1354 |
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----------------------------- I turned off the taps in the bath But the water kept rising The locals surprising ----------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 12 2014, 11:49 AM Post #1355 |
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The rain inundated my path I turned off the taps in the bath But the water kept rising The locals surprising ----------------------------- |
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| Mobson | Feb 12 2014, 12:36 PM Post #1356 |
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The rain inundated my path I turned off the taps in the bath But the water kept rising The locals surprising but making none of them laugh! |
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| Mobson | Feb 12 2014, 12:37 PM Post #1357 |
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They're finding it difficult in Slough |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 12 2014, 02:13 PM Post #1358 |
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They're finding it difficult in Slough -------------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------- They're all getting sloshed in The Plough |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 12 2014, 02:21 PM Post #1359 |
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They're finding it difficult in Slough Most families are using their dhow -------------------------- -------------------------- They're all getting sloshed in The Plough |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 12 2014, 05:47 PM Post #1360 |
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They're finding it difficult in Slough Most families are using their dhow -------------------------- But they're British and so They're all getting sloshed in The Plough |
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| waiting4atickle | Feb 12 2014, 10:47 PM Post #1361 |
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They're finding it difficult in Slough Most families are using their dhow They don't have much dough But they're British and so They're all getting sloshed in The Plough ---------------------------------- ---------------------------------- Although a bright spark --------------------- ---------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 13 2014, 12:26 PM Post #1362 |
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---------------------------------- Didn't know how to mend a fuse Although a bright spark --------------------- ---------------------------------- |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 13 2014, 02:10 PM Post #1363 |
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---------------------------------- Didn't know how to mend a fuse Although a bright spark --------------------- But you can't 'win 'em all' and you lose |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 14 2014, 04:27 PM Post #1364 |
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A sailor quite partial to booze Didn't know how to mend a fuse Although a bright spark --------------------- But you can't 'win 'em all' and you lose |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 14 2014, 05:38 PM Post #1365 |
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A sailor quite partial to booze Didn't know how to mend a fuse Although a bright spark He's still in the dark But you can't 'win 'em all' and you lose A lively young lad from Devizes ------------------------------ --------------------- --------------------- ------------------------------ Edited by dai Cottomy, Feb 14 2014, 05:41 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 14 2014, 05:45 PM Post #1366 |
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A lively young lad from Devizes ------------------------------ --------------------- --------------------- He was adept at winning big prizes |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 15 2014, 11:17 AM Post #1367 |
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A lively young lad from Devizes ------------------------------ At a "Miss World" event --------------------- He was adept at winning big prizes |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 15 2014, 11:06 PM Post #1368 |
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A lively young lad from Devizes Had girlfriends of all different sizes At a "Miss World" event --------------------- He was adept at winning big prizes |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 17 2014, 07:20 PM Post #1369 |
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A lively young lad from Devizes Had girlfriends of all different sizes At a "Miss World" event Which took place in Ghent His 'ladies' took all the big prizes It's a pity about Nicky the Nark |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 18 2014, 10:36 PM Post #1370 |
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It's a pity about Nicky the Nark He misbehaved in St.James's Park |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 19 2014, 04:44 PM Post #1371 |
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It's a pity about Nicky the Nark He misbehaved in St.James's Park By cavorting about |
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| waiting4atickle | Feb 19 2014, 10:42 PM Post #1372 |
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It's a pity about Nicky the Nark He misbehaved in St.James's Park By cavorting about Wearing nary a clout |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 20 2014, 12:52 AM Post #1373 |
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It's a pity about Nicky the Nark He misbehaved in St.James's Park By cavorting about Wearing nary a clout Causing all of the dogs to bark Sometimes I feel in need of strong drink ------------------------------------- --------------------------- --------------------------- ------------------------------------- Edited by dai Cottomy, Feb 20 2014, 12:53 AM.
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| Caro | Feb 20 2014, 01:48 AM Post #1374 |
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Sometimes I feel in need of strong drink ------------------------------------- --------------------------- --------------------------- Now either I'll swim or I'll sink. |
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| waiting4atickle | Feb 20 2014, 02:25 AM Post #1375 |
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Sometimes I feel in need of strong drink Tho' not as often as people think --------------------------- --------------------------- Now either I'll swim or I'll sink. |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 20 2014, 10:50 AM Post #1376 |
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Sometimes I feel in need of strong drink Tho' not as often as people think --------------------------- Makes the whole world my pal Now either I'll swim or I'll sink. Edited by dai Cottomy, Feb 20 2014, 10:52 AM.
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| tafkaj | Feb 22 2014, 01:06 PM Post #1377 |
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Sometimes I feel in need of strong drink Tho' not as often as people think Gin & tonic (low cal) Makes the whole world my pal Now either I'll swim or I'll sink. ***************************************** -------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- But, hating loud noises, ------------------------------ -------------------------------------- |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 23 2014, 04:40 PM Post #1378 |
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-------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- But, hating loud noises, ------------------------------ She went on a binge with the girls |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 24 2014, 01:09 AM Post #1379 |
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Stay awhile as my story unfurls ------------------------------ But, hating loud noises, ---------------------- She went on a binge with the girls |
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| tafkaj | Feb 25 2014, 02:46 PM Post #1380 |
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Stay awhile as my story unfurls 'Bout the lass who strong 'buse often hurls; But, hating loud noises, ---------------------- She went on a binge with the girls |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 25 2014, 04:24 PM Post #1381 |
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Stay awhile as my story unfurls 'Bout the lass who strong 'buse often hurls; But, hating loud noises, She loved soothing voices So she went on a binge with the girls ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As the father of quadtruplet boys |
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| Caro | Feb 26 2014, 05:03 AM Post #1382 |
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As the father of quadruplet boys ------------------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- "I wanted twice, not four times the joys." |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 27 2014, 11:37 PM Post #1383 |
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As the father of quadruplet boys 'twas a struggle to afford all their toys ---------------------- ---------------------- "I wanted twice, not four times the joys." |
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| tafkaj | Feb 28 2014, 12:37 PM Post #1384 |
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As the father of quadruplet boys 'twas a struggle to afford all their toys But, for my sins, ---------------------- "I wanted twice, not four times the joys." |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 28 2014, 03:04 PM Post #1385 |
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As the father of quadruplet boys 'twas a struggle to afford all their toys But, for my sins, I then fathered twins "I wanted twice, not four times the joys." Half a dozen was the final score |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 28 2014, 04:54 PM Post #1386 |
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Half a dozen was the final score Two white, two black and two more |
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| tafkaj | Mar 1 2014, 12:34 PM Post #1387 |
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Half a dozen was the final score Two white, two black and two more ------------------------- ------------------------- But I wonder what those two are for? [BTW, "half a dozen was" NOT "the final score" - that was twenty. ] |
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| Norm Deplume | Mar 4 2014, 04:00 PM Post #1388 |
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Half a dozen was the final score Two white, two black and two more ------------------------- Always game for a fight But I wonder what those two are for? |
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| Caro | Mar 6 2014, 08:59 PM Post #1389 |
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Half a dozen was the final score Two white, two black and two more ------------------------- Always game for a fight But I wonder what those two are for? |
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| Caro | Mar 6 2014, 09:02 PM Post #1390 |
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Half a dozen was the final score Two white, two black and two more I hit the black, then the white Always game for a fight But I wonder what those two are for? --------------------------------- Now flooding has followed the quakes ---------------------- ---------------------- --------------------------------- |
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| Norm Deplume | Mar 7 2014, 10:48 AM Post #1391 |
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--------------------------------- Now flooding has followed the quakes ---------------------- ---------------------- With my dish full of Kellog's Corn Flakes |
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| tafkaj | Mar 7 2014, 12:35 PM Post #1392 |
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The fields have become massive lakes, Now flooding has followed the quakes ---------------------- ---------------------- With my dish full of Kellog's Corn Flakes |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 7 2014, 12:54 PM Post #1393 |
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The fields have become massive lakes, Now flooding has followed the quakes ---------------------- A mug of hot tea With my dish full of Kellog's Corn Flakes |
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| tafkaj | Mar 8 2014, 01:27 PM Post #1394 |
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The fields have become massive lakes, Now flooding has followed the quakes But I'm drinking, you see, A mug of hot tea With my dish full of Kellog's Corn Flakes ********************************************** --------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------- Now the sun has appeared --------------------------------- --------------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 8 2014, 04:19 PM Post #1395 |
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--------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------- Now the sun has appeared I'll shave off my beard --------------------------------------------- |
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| Norm Deplume | Mar 8 2014, 04:22 PM Post #1396 |
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--------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------- Now the sun has appeared I'll shave off my beard And look Springtime full in the face |
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| tafkaj | Mar 11 2014, 02:50 PM Post #1397 |
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I'd taken to wearing black lace --------------------------------------------- Now the sun has appeared I'll shave off my beard And look Springtime full in the face |
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| Norm Deplume | Mar 11 2014, 07:05 PM Post #1398 |
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I'd taken to wearing black lace But don't know if I'm up to the pace Now the sun has appeared I'll shave off my beard And look Springtime full in the face |
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| Norm Deplume | Mar 11 2014, 07:07 PM Post #1399 |
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My days of wine and roses are past |
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| Mobson | Mar 12 2014, 10:19 AM Post #1400 |
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My days of wine and roses are past ................................................. It's no use crying ........................... .................................................. |
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