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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,610 Views)
dai Cottomy
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792



It's awful, the lies that we tell
And maybe we'll all go to Hell
So always tell the Truth
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Mobson
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....page turn.... <erm>
Edited by Mobson, May 22 2014, 11:36 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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One day we noticed they were missing
The next thing we saw, was them kissing
After taking their vows
They were like lovesick cows
But enough of this reminiscing.


...........................................
..........................................
.................
.................
It's cute that he likes her that way
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Norm Deplume
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On a sunny Spring day in late May
..........................................
.................
.................
It's cute that he likes her that way

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Mobson
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On a sunny Spring day in late May
Her new boobies she did show on display
.................
.................
It's cute that he likes her that way
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Norm Deplume
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On a sunny Spring day in late May
Her new boobies she did show on display
To her partner's delight
.................
It's cute that he likes her that way
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waiting4atickle
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On a sunny Spring day in late May
Her new boobies she did show on display
To her partner's delight
In a blouse much too tight
It's cute that he likes her that way


---------------------------
---------------------------
-----------------
And covered in spots
---------------------------

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Norm Deplume
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---------------------------
---------------------------
They laid in their cots
And covered in spots
---------------------------
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Mobson
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They called out the doctor at Midnight
---------------------------
They laid in their cots
And covered in spots
---------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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They called out the doctor at Midnight
---------------------------
They laid in their cots
And covered in spots
So now we can all get some sleep! Right?
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dai Cottomy
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They called out the doctor at Midnight
The sextuplets were a wondrous sight
They laid in their cots
And covered in spots
So now we can all get some sleep! Right?


There they all were, five boys and a girl
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Norm Deplume
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There they all were, five boys and a girl
The boys were bald but the girl had a curl
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Mobson
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There they all were, five boys and a girl
The boys were bald but the girl had a curl
.........
.........
In front of the cameras, all giving a twirl
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dai Cottomy
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There they all were, five boys and a girl
The boys were bald but the girl had a curl
They pouted and pranced
.........
In front of the cameras, all giving a twirl
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Mobson
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There they all were, five boys and a girl
The boys were bald but the girl had a curl
They pouted and pranced
Showing off, they danced
In front of the cameras, all giving a twirl
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Mobson
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........................................................
........................................................
There's no doubt it's a crime
........................................
.........................................................
Edited by Mobson, May 29 2014, 09:33 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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........................................................
........................................................
There's no doubt it's a crime
To be covered in grime.
.........................................................
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Norm Deplume
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I lost my credit card down a drain
........................................................
There's no doubt it's a crime
To be covered in grime.
.........................................................
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tafkaj

I lost my credit card down a drain
Just as it came on to rain
There's no doubt it's a crime
To be covered in grime
.........................................................
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dai Cottomy
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I lost my credit card down a drain
Just as it came on to rain
There's no doubt it's a crime
To be covered in grime
I admit I am feeling the strain


They say too many cooks spoil the broth


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Norm Deplume
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They say too many cooks spoil the broth
Often said when venting one's wrath
.......................
............................
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dai Cottomy
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They say too many cooks spoil the broth
Often said when venting one's wrath
.......................
............................
Just sit back and blow off the froth
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Mobson
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They say too many cooks spoil the broth
Often said when venting one's wrath
Put that knife down
............................
Just sit back and blow off the froth
Edited by Mobson, Jun 3 2014, 12:37 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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They say too many cooks spoil the broth
Often said when venting one's wrath
"Put that knife down"
She said with a frown
Just sit back and blow off the froth



I wish I was twenty-one again
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Mobson
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I wish I was twenty-one again
..........................................
.........
.........
And it seemed worth all the pain
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Norm Deplume
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I wish I was twenty-one again
With trilby hat and ebony cane
.........
.........
And it seemed worth all the pain
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dai Cottomy
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I wish I was twenty-one again
With trilby hat and ebony cane
Full of poise and panache
.........
And it seemed worth all the pain
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rumbaba
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wish I was twenty-one again
With trilby hat and ebony cane
Full of poise and panache
with a waxed-up moustache
And it seemed worth all the pain
Edited by rumbaba, Jun 5 2014, 12:24 PM.
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rumbaba
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There was a young man from Long Melford
-----------------------
------------------------
-------------------------
--------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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There was a young man from Long Melford
-----------------------
------------------------
While given the time
--------------------------................
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dai Cottomy
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:blink: A strange thing...I added a second line ending with the name of a place rhyming with Long Melford, and the system refused to print it. (the place name)

there, I just tried it again:
Edited by dai Cottomy, Jun 5 2014, 01:53 PM.
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rumbaba
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...?
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rumbaba
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Jings it happened to me too! I wrote Tel Ford (no space) , how bizarre
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rumbaba
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I think that Caissier blocked the guy with the . and that place is part of the spam filter
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rumbaba
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Jings! kitch ens is filtered too :)
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waiting4atickle
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Is ''" allowed?

Apparently Ted is not considered fit, either. <laugh>

Edited by waiting4atickle, Jun 5 2014, 03:50 PM.
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rumbaba
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There was a young man from Long Melford
Who went to a kitsch inn in Tel ford
While given the time
--------------------------
................
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Mobson
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There was a young man from Long Melford
Who went to a kitsch inn in Tel-ford
While given the time
To set down this rhyme
.............................................................
Edited by Mobson, Jun 6 2014, 10:08 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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There was a young man from Long Melford
Who went to a kitsch inn in Tel-ford
While given the time
To set down this rhyme
I could have walked from here to Hereford.


The was an old man from Thames Ditton
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rumbaba
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The was an old man from Thames Ditton
-----------------
---------------
a tabby named Lucy
------------------
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dai Cottomy
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The was an old man from Thames Ditton
Who thought he would like a white kitten
---------------
a tabby named Lucy
------------------
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Norm Deplume
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The was an old man from Thames Ditton
Who thought he would like a white kitten
---------------
a tabby named Lucy
Though he was twice shy, he was once bitten
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dai Cottomy
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The was an old man from Thames Ditton
Who thought he would like a white kitten
Along came a pussy
a tabby named Lucy
Though he was twice shy, he was once bitten

An undertaker from Penzance
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Mobson
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An undertaker from Penzance
Insisted on wearing striped pants
.........
.........
..............................................
Edited by Mobson, Jun 7 2014, 01:31 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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An undertaker from Penzance
Insisted on wearing striped pants
With a red spotted tie
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dai Cottomy
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An undertaker from Penzance
Insisted on wearing striped pants
With a red spotted tie
And a gleam in his eye
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waiting4atickle
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An undertaker from Penzance
Insisted on wearing striped pants
With a red spotted tie
And a gleam in his eye
He led many a widow a dance.


There was a young lass from Kirkcudbright
--------------------------
------------------
------------------
--------------------------

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Norm Deplume
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There was a young lass from Kirkcudbright
Who had a large wart on her 'doobree'
------------------
------------------
--------------------------
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Mobson
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There was a young lass from Kirkcudbright
Who had a large wart on her 'doobree'
The doc had a look
Edited by Mobson, Jun 7 2014, 12:09 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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There was a young lass from Kirkcudbright
Who had a large wart on her 'doobree'
The doc had a look
Then consulted his book
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tafkaj

There was a young lass from Kirkcudbright
Who had a large wart on her 'doobree'
The doc had a look
Then consulted his book -
Said: "I've seen this before, on Ann Soubry".

**************************************

--------------------------------------
--------------------------------------
But never again will he sing
-----------------------------
--------------------------------------
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dai Cottomy
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Taf: Ive taken the liberty of moving your line to where it sits better


Uncle Bert was a great fan of Bing
------------------------------------
-----------------------------
-----------------------------
But never again will he sing
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Mobson
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Uncle Bert was a great fan of Bing
His vocal timbre had a sonorous ring
.....................
.....................
But never again will he sing
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Norm Deplume
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Uncle Bert was a great fan of Bing
His vocal timbre had a sonorous ring
It took a strong lass
.....................
But never again will he sing
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Norm Deplume
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Uncle Bert was a great fan of Bing
His vocal timbre had a sonorous ring
It took a strong lass
To kick him near his ass
But never again will he sing :blink:



The beauty around just astounds me
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dai Cottomy
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The beauty around just astounds me
But the evil really confounds me
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Norm Deplume
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The beauty around just astounds me
But the evil really confounds me
Yet, a mix of the two
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tafkaj

The beauty around just astounds me
But the evil really confounds me
Yet, a mix of the two
------------------------
Is the one thing that still really hounds me.
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Mobson
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The beauty around just astounds me
But the evil really confounds me
Yet, a mix of the two
betwixt me and you
Is the one thing that still really hounds me.
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Mobson
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...........................................
...........................................
........
........
Coming to the aid of his friend
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Norm Deplume
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...........................................
She really thought it was the end
........
........
Coming to the aid of his friend
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Mobson
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The rapids appeared round the bend
She really thought it was the end
........
........
Coming to the aid of his friend
Edited by Mobson, Jun 23 2014, 06:43 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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The rapids appeared round the bend
She really thought it was the end
As she started to sink
........
Coming to the aid of his friend
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Mobson
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The rapids appeared round the bend
She really thought it was the end
As she started to sink
She saw Captain Schinke
Coming to the aid of his friend
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Mobson
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Grabbing hold of a couple of oars
Edited by Mobson, Jun 23 2014, 09:39 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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Grabbing hold of a couple of oars
He pulled with his hands full of sores
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waiting4atickle
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Grabbing hold of a couple of oars
He pulled with his hands full of sores
----------------
----------------
With a welcoming cry of "What's yours?"

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dai Cottomy
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Grabbing hold of a couple of oars
He pulled with his hands full of sores
----------------
People gathered around
With a welcoming cry of "What's yours?"
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Norm Deplume
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Grabbing hold of a couple of oars
He pulled with his hands full of sores
With 'Mighty Abound'
People gathered around
With a welcoming cry of "What's yours?"




From the crowd, came a cry "Mine's a half"--- <beer>
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jun 25 2014, 01:49 PM.
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tafkaj

Said Kensington Joe: "I'm a Count"
***********************************
***********************
***********************
From the crowd, came a cry "Mine's a pint"--- <beer>
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dai Cottomy
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Said Kensington Joe: "I'm a Count"
"And of all knowledge I am the fount"
***********************
***********************
From the crowd, came a cry "Mine's a pint"--- <beer>
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Norm Deplume
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re1669.

That's taking poetic licence a bit far Taf! Also, I wanted my line to be the first line, not the last. If I'd wanted it any other way I would have included the appropriate dotted lines.
Shall we try again?

to make it easier, I have changed 'pint' to 'half'



From the crowd, came a cry "Mine's a half"--- <beer>
..........................................................
.....................
...................
He said, "Surely, You're having a laugh
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jun 25 2014, 01:54 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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From the crowd, came a cry "Mine's a half"--- <beer>
It sounded like the old Chief-of-Staff
.....................
...................
He said, "Surely, You're having a laugh
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Mobson
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From the crowd, came a cry "Mine's a half" --- <beer>
It sounded like the old Chief-of-Staff
On his usual bender
...................
He said, "Surely, You're having a laugh
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Norm Deplume
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From the crowd, came a cry "Mine's a half" --- <beer>
It sounded like the old Chief-of-Staff
On his usual bender
While lacking the splendor
He said, "Surely, You're having a laugh


On a rowboat at Henley-on-Thames
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Norm Deplume
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On a rowboat at Henley-on-Thames
.............................................
.....................
.................
Sat a lady, all decked out with gems
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dai Cottomy
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On a rowboat at Henley-on-Thames,
Where everyone's car's a Mercedes Benz;
.....................
.................
Sat a lady, all decked out with gems
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Norm Deplume
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On a rowboat at Henley-on-Thames,
Where everyone's car's a Mercedes Benz;
With her hair newly permed
................
Sat a lady, all decked out with gems
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dai Cottomy
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On a rowboat at Henley-on-Thames,
Where everyone's car's a Mercedes Benz;
With her hair newly permed
Social status confirmed
Sat a lady, all decked out with gems


She waved with her silken gloved hand

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Norm Deplume
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She waved with her silken gloved hand
To the crowd and the County Brass Band
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Norm Deplume
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She waved with her silken gloved hand
.......................................................
................
...............
To the crowd and the County Brass Band
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Mobson
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She waved with her silken gloved hand
To all the dignataries reluctant to stand
...............
...............
To the crowd and the County Brass Band
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Norm Deplume
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She waved with her silken gloved hand
To all the dignataries reluctant to stand
She then showed her bum
.............
To the crowd and the County Brass Band
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Mobson
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She waved with her silken gloved hand
To all the dignataries reluctant to stand
She then showed her bum
Then stuck up her thumb
To the crowd and the County Brass Band
Edited by Mobson, Jul 9 2014, 05:11 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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New line please Mobsy!
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Mobson
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<ok> Norm <seeya>

She waved with her silken gloved hand
To all the dignataries reluctant to stand
She then showed her bum
Then stuck up her thumb
To the crowd and the County Brass Band

*******************************

Immediately the band struck up a tune
Edited by Mobson, Jul 10 2014, 01:09 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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Immediately the band struck up a tune
About love and romance and the moon
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waiting4atickle
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Immediately the band struck up a tune
About love and romance and the moon
------------
------------
What a lily-livered poltroon!

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Mobson
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Immediately the band struck up a tune
About love and romance and the moon
As the lothario left the scene
------------
What a lily-livered poltroon!

Edited by Mobson, Jul 12 2014, 06:47 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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Immediately the band struck up a tune
About love and romance and the moon
As the lothario left the scene
His face looked quite green
What a lily-livered poltroon!


An accountant from just outside Stoke
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jul 15 2014, 09:56 AM.
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Mobson
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An accountant from just outside Stoke
.......................................................
.............................
Guilty of tax evasion
.......................................................
Edited by Mobson, Jul 15 2014, 09:59 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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An accountant from just outside Stoke
.......................................................
.........................
Guilty of tax evasion
.......................................................
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dai Cottomy
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An accountant from just outside Stoke
Was fond of a practical joke
.........................
Guilty of tax evasion
.......................................................
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Norm Deplume
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An accountant from just outside Stoke
Was fond of a practical joke
.........................
Guilty of tax evasion
Though he wasn't a white male caucasian
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Mobson
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An accountant from just outside Stoke
Was fond of a practical joke
But on this occasion
Guilty of tax evasion
Though he wasn't a white male caucasian
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Mobson
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Dave's completing a final reshuffle
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Norm Deplume
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Dave's completing a final reshuffle
Can't see why there's all the kerfuffle
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Mobson
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Dave's completing a final reshuffle
Can't see why there's all the kerfuffle
.................................
Will it save the Economy?
......................................................
Edited by Mobson, Jul 16 2014, 01:34 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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Dave's completing a final reshuffle
Can't see why there's all the kerfuffle
If he goes for Autonomy
Will it save the Economy?
......................................................
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Norm Deplume
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Dave's completing a final reshuffle
Can't see why there's all the kerfuffle
If he goes for Autonomy
Will it save the Economy?
Or end up in an almighty scuffle?


For Dave, it's a rock or a hard place
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dai Cottomy
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For Dave, it's a rock or a hard place
For Michael Gove it's hard to save face
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