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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,609 Views) | |
| dai Cottomy | Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM Post #1 |
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792 It's awful, the lies that we tell And maybe we'll all go to Hell So always tell the Truth |
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| Norm Deplume | Jul 21 2014, 10:28 AM Post #1701 |
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For Dave, it's a rock or a hard place For Michael Gove it's hard to save face A shuffle too far? |
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| waiting4atickle | Jul 22 2014, 01:03 AM Post #1702 |
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For Dave, it's a rock or a hard place For Michael Gove it's hard to save face A shuffle too far? ----------------- There's no doubt it will end in disgrace. |
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| dai Cottomy | Jul 22 2014, 10:01 AM Post #1703 |
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For Dave, it's a rock or a hard place For Michael Gove it's hard to save face A shuffle too far? William Hague - au revoir! There's no doubt it will end in disgrace. And as for that old war-horse, Ken Clarke |
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| Mobson | Jul 22 2014, 02:30 PM Post #1704 |
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And as for that old war-horse, Ken Clarke ........................................................... ......... ......... No wonder his belly's bigger than his bark |
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| Norm Deplume | Jul 22 2014, 05:03 PM Post #1705 |
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And as for that old war-horse, Ken Clarke Loves his jazz in the clubs, after dark ......... ......... No wonder his belly's bigger than his bark |
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| Mobson | Jul 23 2014, 06:27 AM Post #1706 |
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And as for that old war-horse, Ken Clarke Loves his jazz in the clubs, after dark, A true bon viveur ......... No wonder his belly's bigger than his bark Edited by Mobson, Jul 23 2014, 06:27 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Jul 23 2014, 09:33 AM Post #1707 |
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And as for that old war-horse, Ken Clarke Loves his jazz in the clubs, after dark, A true bon viveur With a dodgy liver? No wonder his belly's bigger than his bark On a stage in a field in Kings Lynn |
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| dai Cottomy | Jul 23 2014, 12:03 PM Post #1708 |
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On a stage in a field in Kings Lynn Two actors are consuming pink gin |
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| Norm Deplume | Jul 23 2014, 02:38 PM Post #1709 |
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On a stage in a field in Kings Lynn Two actors are consuming pink gin One says to the other, |
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| Norm Deplume | Jul 25 2014, 04:04 PM Post #1710 |
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On a stage in a field in Kings Lynn Two actors are consuming pink gin One says to the other, .............................. Or is that committing a sin? |
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| Mobson | Jul 25 2014, 09:37 PM Post #1711 |
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On a stage in a field in Kings Lynn Two actors are consuming pink gin One says to the other, I fancy your mother Or is that committing a sin? |
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| Mobson | Jul 25 2014, 09:38 PM Post #1712 |
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"Why you runnin' away?" said the cop |
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| Norm Deplume | Jul 27 2014, 03:42 PM Post #1713 |
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"Why you runnin' away?" said the cop ..................................................... ....................... ........................... Well, that was a bit over the top |
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| dai Cottomy | Jul 27 2014, 09:47 PM Post #1714 |
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"Why you runnin' away?" said the cop As he grabbed my arm, making me stop ....................... ........................... Well, that was a bit over the top |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 1 2014, 01:43 PM Post #1715 |
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"Why you runnin' away?" said the cop As he grabbed my arm, making me stop I answered "Don't know" ........................... Well, that was a bit over the top |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 1 2014, 06:13 PM Post #1716 |
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"Why you runnin' away?" said the cop As he grabbed my arm, making me stop I answered "Don't know" He wouldn't let go Well, that was a bit over the top He said "do you fancy a drink?" |
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| Caro | Aug 1 2014, 10:53 PM Post #1717 |
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He said "do you fancy a drink?" ---------------------------- ------------- ------------- It caused a bit of a stink. |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 2 2014, 09:51 AM Post #1718 |
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He said "do you fancy a drink?" "No thanks, I'll end up in the clink" ------------- ------------- It caused a bit of a stink. |
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| Mobson | Aug 5 2014, 03:25 AM Post #1719 |
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He said "do you fancy a drink?" "No thanks, I'll end up in the clink" So he lit up a spliff ------------- It caused a bit of a stink. Edited by Mobson, Aug 5 2014, 03:27 AM.
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| tafkaj | Aug 5 2014, 02:08 PM Post #1720 |
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He said "do you fancy a drink?" "No thanks, I'll end up in the clink" So he lit up a spliff And, just like a stiff, It caused a bit of a stink. *************************************** -------------------------------------- But never on Thursdays", he lied ----------------------------- ----------------------------- -------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 5 2014, 02:35 PM Post #1721 |
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You always seem to be pie-eyed "But never on Thursdays", he lied ----------------------------- ----------------------------- -------------------------------------- |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 5 2014, 05:08 PM Post #1722 |
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You always seem to be pie-eyed "But never on Thursdays", he lied ----------------------------- ----------------------------- For the rest of the week. Woe betide! |
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| Mobson | Aug 6 2014, 03:15 PM Post #1723 |
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You always seem to be pie-eyed "But never on Thursdays", he lied On that day I abstain ----------------------------- For the rest of the week. Woe betide! |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 9 2014, 10:53 PM Post #1724 |
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You always seem to be pie-eyed "But never on Thursdays", he lied "On that day I abstain It's a bit of a pain For the rest of the week. Woe betide!" Love, they say, makes the world go round |
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| Mobson | Aug 10 2014, 08:25 AM Post #1725 |
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Love, they say, makes the world go round ......................................................... ....... ....... But that's not what I've generally found Edited by Mobson, Aug 10 2014, 08:26 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 10 2014, 06:10 PM Post #1726 |
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Love, they say, makes the world go round It makes you heart flutter and pound ....... ....... But that's not what I've generally found |
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| Mobson | Aug 11 2014, 01:22 AM Post #1727 |
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Love, they say, makes the world go round It makes you heart flutter and pound It's all consuming ....... But that's not what I've generally found |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 12 2014, 11:20 AM Post #1728 |
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Love, they say, makes the world go round It makes you heart flutter and pound It's all consuming The brain is zooming But that's not what I've generally found Always slept in his shirt, did our Len Edited by Norm Deplume, Aug 12 2014, 11:21 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 12 2014, 12:20 PM Post #1729 |
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Always slept in his shirt, did our Len And made a loud noise like a hen |
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| Mobson | Aug 12 2014, 05:57 PM Post #1730 |
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Always slept in his shirt, did our Len And made a loud noise like a hen ....... ...... Nothing like the noise made by our Ken Edited by Mobson, Aug 14 2014, 12:25 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 12 2014, 07:39 PM Post #1731 |
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Always slept in his shirt, did our Len And made a loud noise like a hen ....... Like a horse with a cart Nothing like the noise made by Ken |
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| Mobson | Aug 14 2014, 12:28 AM Post #1732 |
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Always slept in his shirt, did our Len And made a loud noise like a hen He'd stop and he'd start Like a horse with a cart Nothing like the noise made by our Ken |
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| Mobson | Aug 14 2014, 12:29 AM Post #1733 |
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Our Ken in his sleep he did roar |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 14 2014, 05:57 AM Post #1734 |
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Our Ken in his sleep he did roar 'Twas the sound of a love-stricken boar ---------------------------- ---------------------------- ------------------------------------------- Edited by dai Cottomy, Aug 14 2014, 06:00 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 14 2014, 02:52 PM Post #1735 |
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Our Ken in his sleep he did roar 'Twas the sound of a love-stricken boar ---------------------------- A thump from his wife ------------------------------------------- |
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| Mobson | Aug 14 2014, 09:30 PM Post #1736 |
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Our Ken in his sleep he did roar 'Twas the sound of a love-stricken boar ---------------------------- A thump from his wife Sent him flying out the bed to the floor Edited by Mobson, Aug 14 2014, 09:30 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 15 2014, 02:33 PM Post #1737 |
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Our Ken in his sleep he did roar 'Twas the sound of a love-stricken boar Like a threat to his life, A thump from his wife Sent him flying out the bed to the floor My digital doo-dah ain't working |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 15 2014, 02:57 PM Post #1738 |
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My digital doo-dah ain't working The whatsit is constantly jerking |
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| Mobson | Aug 15 2014, 03:33 PM Post #1739 |
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My digital doo-dah ain't working The whatsit is constantly jerking ........... ........... Just like Miley Cyrus's twerking |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 15 2014, 05:30 PM Post #1740 |
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My digital doo-dah ain't working The whatsit is constantly jerking It keeps going "ping" ........... Just like Miley Cyrus's twerking |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 18 2014, 10:12 AM Post #1741 |
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My digital doo-dah ain't working The whatsit is constantly jerking It keeps going "ping" The bloody stupid thing Just like Miley Cyrus's twerking I went for a walk with my dog |
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| Caro | Aug 20 2014, 09:10 PM Post #1742 |
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I went for a walk with my dog ---------------------------- He eyed every honey -------------- ---------------------------- |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 21 2014, 10:20 AM Post #1743 |
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I went for a walk with my dog ---------------------------- He eyed every honey -------------- He thought that my leg was a bog! |
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| waiting4atickle | Aug 21 2014, 10:22 AM Post #1744 |
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I went for a walk with my dog ---------------------------- He eyed every honey But what was less funny He thought that my leg was a bog! |
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| Mobson | Aug 22 2014, 11:53 AM Post #1745 |
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I went for a walk with my dog It was all a bit of a flog He eyed every honey But what was less funny He thought that my leg was a bog! |
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| Mobson | Aug 22 2014, 11:58 AM Post #1746 |
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"There's nowt so queer as folk" ................................................. .......... .......... .................................................... |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 22 2014, 04:41 PM Post #1747 |
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"There's nowt so queer as folk" ................................................. .......... .......... It's because of the albumen, not the yolk |
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| Mobson | Aug 25 2014, 02:36 PM Post #1748 |
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"There's nowt so queer as folk" In Yorkshire's often heard spoke .......... .......... It's because of the albumen, not the yolk |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 3 2014, 07:41 PM Post #1749 |
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"There's nowt so queer as folk" In Yorkshire's often heard spoke If you're forced to beg Grandma to suck an egg It's because of the albumen, not the yolk This limerick's been dormant too long ----------------------------------------- ------------------------------ ------------------------------- ----------------------------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 5 2014, 12:06 AM Post #1750 |
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This limerick's been dormant too long And now it is starting to pong ------------------------------ ------------------------------- ----------------------------------------- |
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| Mobson | Sep 5 2014, 02:08 AM Post #1751 |
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This limerick's been dormant too long And now it is starting to pong ------------------------------ ------------------------------- But it's at an end now, ding-dong |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 8 2014, 01:35 AM Post #1752 |
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This limerick's been dormant too long And now it is starting to pong Sometimes it is best ------------------------------- But it's at an end now, ding-dong |
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| Mobson | Sep 8 2014, 07:19 AM Post #1753 |
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This limerick's been dormant too long And now it is starting to pong Sometimes it is best To give it a rest But it's at an end now, ding-dong |
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| Mobson | Sep 8 2014, 07:31 AM Post #1754 |
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I don't want this Summer to end
Edited by Mobson, Sep 8 2014, 07:35 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 8 2014, 12:52 PM Post #1755 |
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I don't want this Summer to end Cold weather drives me right round the bend |
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| Mobson | Sep 15 2014, 08:12 PM Post #1756 |
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I don't want this Summer to end I consider this season a friend .................. .................. Cold weather drives me right round the bend |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 22 2014, 04:07 PM Post #1757 |
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I don't want this Summer to end I consider this season a friend .................. But soon there'll be ice Cold weather drives me right round the bend |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 23 2014, 12:43 PM Post #1758 |
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I don't want this Summer to end I consider this season a friend It's been very nice But soon there'll be ice Cold weather drives me right round the bend I'm going to start knitting wool mittens |
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| Mobson | Sep 24 2014, 08:13 AM Post #1759 |
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I'm going to start knitting wool mittens ....................................................... the simplest protection ............................. ..................................................... Edited by Mobson, Sep 24 2014, 08:19 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 29 2014, 06:29 PM Post #1760 |
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I'm going to start knitting wool mittens Made from the fur of snow white kittens the simplest protection ............................. ..................................................... |
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| Mobson | Sep 30 2014, 10:55 AM Post #1761 |
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I'm going to start knitting wool mittens Made from the fur of snow white kittens the simplest protection prevents frostbite infection ..................................................... Edited by Mobson, Sep 30 2014, 10:55 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 2 2014, 10:17 AM Post #1762 |
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I'm going to start knitting wool mittens Made from the fur of snow white kittens the simplest protection prevents frostbite infection Or being pecked by disgruntled bitterns Autumn is fruitful and mellow |
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| tafkaj | Oct 7 2014, 02:27 PM Post #1763 |
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Autumn is fruitful and mellow --------------------------------- ---------------------------- ---------------------------- But left with a hearty: "Hello!" |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 7 2014, 02:58 PM Post #1764 |
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Autumn is fruitful and mellow Leaves all going red or yellow ---------------------------- ---------------------------- But left with a hearty: "Hello!" |
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| Mobson | Oct 10 2014, 10:17 AM Post #1765 |
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Autumn is fruitful and mellow Leaves all going red or yellow It made us all smile ---------------------------- But left with a hearty: "Hello!" |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 10 2014, 02:34 PM Post #1766 |
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Autumn is fruitful and mellow Leaves all going red or yellow It made us all smile For a little while But left with a hearty: "Hello!" Will next year be the year of UKIP? |
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| Mobson | Oct 11 2014, 07:51 AM Post #1767 |
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Will next year be the year of UKIP? ............................................... ....... ....... To prevent it tightening it's grip |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 11 2014, 03:24 PM Post #1768 |
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Will next year be the year of UKIP? Or was Thursday merely a blip? ....... ....... To prevent it tightening it's grip |
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| Mobson | Oct 12 2014, 08:23 AM Post #1769 |
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Will next year be the year of UKIP? Or was Thursday merely a blip? A breakaway faction ....... To prevent it tightening it's grip |
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| Caro | Oct 12 2014, 09:40 AM Post #1770 |
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Will next year be the year of UKIP? Or was Thursday merely a blip? A breakaway faction Let's hope with no traction To prevent it tightening it's grip Elections provide odd results [Our one means we are having yet another Labour leader vote after a disastrous election night count.] --------------------------- -------------- -------------- --------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 12 2014, 01:09 PM Post #1771 |
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Elections provide odd results Comments please, (avoiding insults) -------------- -------------- --------------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 12 2014, 10:39 PM Post #1772 |
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Elections provide odd results Comments please, (avoiding insults) -------------- -------------- But at least we don't use catapults. |
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| Mobson | Oct 14 2014, 07:28 AM Post #1773 |
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Elections provide odd results Comments please, (avoiding insults) A tick in a box -------------- But at least we don't use catapults. |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 14 2014, 07:02 PM Post #1774 |
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Elections provide odd results Comments please, (avoiding insults) A tick in a box To elect some old crocks But at least we don't use catapults. ----------------------------- ----------------------------- ------------------ ------------------ But I'm not very partial to fish. |
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| Mobson | Oct 16 2014, 01:27 PM Post #1775 |
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Oh What to cook today, what dish ----------------------------- ------------------ ------------------ But I'm not very partial to fish. |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 16 2014, 03:42 PM Post #1776 |
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Oh What to cook today, what dish Would you choose as your final wish? ------------------ ------------------ But I'm not very partial to fish. |
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| Mobson | Oct 17 2014, 05:07 PM Post #1777 |
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Oh What to cook today, what dish Would you choose as your final wish? The last thing on your lips ------------------ But I'm not very partial to fish. |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 18 2014, 11:03 AM Post #1778 |
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Oh What to cook today, what dish Would you choose as your final wish? The last thing on your lips Is a portion of chips But I'm not very partial to fish. A nice cup of tea in the morning |
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| Mobson | Oct 22 2014, 07:59 PM Post #1779 |
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A nice cup of tea in the morning .............................................. Darjeeling or Assam ........................... ............................................... Edited by Mobson, Oct 22 2014, 07:59 PM.
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 23 2014, 01:47 AM Post #1780 |
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A nice cup of tea in the morning May get spilt unless you stop yawning. Darjeeling or Assam ........................... ............................................... |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 23 2014, 07:45 PM Post #1781 |
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A nice cup of tea in the morning May get spilt unless you stop yawning. Darjeeling or Assam With buttered toast and jam ............................................... |
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| Mobson | Oct 24 2014, 07:44 AM Post #1782 |
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A nice cup of tea in the morning May get spilt unless you stop yawning Darjeeling or Assam With buttered toast and jam Just as a new day is dawning |
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| Mobson | Oct 24 2014, 07:48 AM Post #1783 |
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The undercover cop, his lover and their son |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 24 2014, 11:15 PM Post #1784 |
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The undercover cop, his lover and their son --------------------------- ----------------- ----------------- And proved himself a son of a gun. |
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| Caro | Oct 25 2014, 08:32 AM Post #1785 |
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The undercover cop, his lover and their son Took off to have some fun ----------------- ----------------- And proved himself a son of a gun. |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 31 2014, 12:55 PM Post #1786 |
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The undercover cop, his lover and their son Took off to have some fun But the plan hit a snag ----------------- And proved himself a son of a gun. |
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| Mobson | Nov 1 2014, 11:07 AM Post #1787 |
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The undercover cop, his lover and their son Took off to have some fun But the plan hit a snag Until the son stole a Jag And proved himself a son of a gun. |
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| Mobson | Nov 1 2014, 11:30 AM Post #1788 |
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......................................................... ......................................................... causing such a commotion |
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| Mobson | Nov 26 2014, 07:41 AM Post #1789 |
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......................................................... ......................................................... causing such a commotion for getting such a promotion |
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| dai Cottomy | Nov 30 2014, 02:11 PM Post #1790 |
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A noisy young fellow from Woking ............................................... causing such a commotion for getting such a promotion ............................................... ............................................... |
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| Caro | Dec 3 2014, 03:25 AM Post #1791 |
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A noisy young fellow from Woking Did brilliantly well with his broking Causing such a commotion For getting such a promotion ............................................... |
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| Mobson | Dec 3 2014, 10:32 AM Post #1792 |
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A noisy young fellow from Woking Did brilliantly well with his broking Causing such a commotion For getting such a promotion And his bank account heavily stoking! |
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| Mobson | Dec 3 2014, 10:33 AM Post #1793 |
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Black Friday's a crazy idea
Edited by Mobson, Dec 3 2014, 10:33 AM.
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 3 2014, 10:15 PM Post #1794 |
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Black Friday's a crazy idea But it shifts lots of crap, so I hear ![]() |
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 4 2014, 10:18 AM Post #1795 |
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Black Friday's a crazy idea But it shifts lots of crap, so I hear Keeping cash flowing |
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| Mobson | Dec 4 2014, 11:20 AM Post #1796 |
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Brilliant from Tesco ticks!Black Friday's a crazy idea But it shifts lots of crap, so I hear Keeping cash flowing All the while knowing |
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 6 2014, 02:54 PM Post #1797 |
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Black Friday's a crazy idea But it shifts lots of crap, so I hear Keeping cash flowing All the while knowing It contributes toward Christmas cheer We're under computer attack |
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 6 2014, 02:55 PM Post #1798 |
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Black Friday's a crazy idea But it shifts lots of crap, so I hear Keeping cash flowing All the while knowing It contributes toward Christmas cheer We're under computer attack |
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 6 2014, 02:56 PM Post #1799 |
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Black Friday's a crazy idea But it shifts lots of crap, so I hear Keeping cash flowing All the while knowing It contributes toward Christmas cheer We're under computer attack |
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 6 2014, 08:18 PM Post #1800 |
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We're under computer attack Some bastards are trying to hack -------------------- -------------------- ---------------------------------- Edited by waiting4atickle, Dec 6 2014, 08:19 PM.
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Brilliant from Tesco ticks!
7:03 AM Jul 13