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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,625 Views) | |
| dai Cottomy | Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM Post #1 |
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792 It's awful, the lies that we tell And maybe we'll all go to Hell So always tell the Truth |
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| Mobson | Oct 11 2012, 10:59 AM Post #101 |
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When an adorable rabbit like me ---------------------------------- Whilst nibbling on a swede My nose started to bleed ---------------------------------- |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 11 2012, 03:52 PM Post #102 |
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When an adorable rabbit like me ---------------------------------- Whilst nibbling on a swede My nose started to bleed And I desperately needed a pee |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 11 2012, 08:09 PM Post #103 |
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When an adorable rabbit like me Gets the urge to climb up a tree Whilst nibbling on a swede My nose started to bleed And I desperately needed a pee It's really no joke being a stoat |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 11 2012, 08:13 PM Post #104 |
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It's really no joke being a stoat ----------------------------- ------------------ ------------------ If only he'd stayed on the boat. |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 11 2012, 08:20 PM Post #105 |
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It's really no joke being a stoat If you have problems staying afloat ------------------ ------------------ If only he'd stayed on the boat. |
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| Caro | Oct 11 2012, 08:24 PM Post #106 |
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It's really no joke being a stoat If you have problems staying afloat ------------------ Swam hard but futilely If only he'd stayed on the boat. [I don't know about being a stoat, but it's certainly no joke having stoats - perhaps the worst predator on native animals we have here.) |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 11 2012, 08:35 PM Post #107 |
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It's really no joke being a stoat If you have problems staying afloat I had one called Smiley Swam hard but futilely If only he'd stayed on the boat. His favourite dish was stewed vole |
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| Caro | Oct 11 2012, 09:24 PM Post #108 |
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His favourite dish was stewed vole --------------------------------- ------------------ ------------------ But he choked when he fancied dog roll. |
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| Mobson | Oct 11 2012, 10:57 PM Post #109 |
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His favourite dish was stewed vole or an escalope of filleted mole ------------------ ------------------ But he choked when he fancied dog roll. |
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| Caro | Oct 12 2012, 08:59 AM Post #110 |
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His favourite dish was stewed vole or an escalope of filleted mole ------------------ And gobbled it down But he choked when he fancied dog roll. |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 12 2012, 12:50 PM Post #111 |
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This is just too horrible to contemplate. Edited by waiting4atickle, Oct 12 2012, 12:50 PM.
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 12 2012, 03:34 PM Post #112 |
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His favourite dish was stewed vole or an escalope of filleted mole He cooked it 'til brown And gobbled it down But he choked when he fancied dog roll. Mother Nature's red in tooth and claw |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 12 2012, 04:07 PM Post #113 |
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Mother Nature's red in tooth and claw Such is life, when it's there in the raw |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 12 2012, 06:46 PM Post #114 |
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Mother Nature's red in tooth and claw Such is life, when it's there in the raw But this virtual world ----------------- --------------------------------- Edited by waiting4atickle, Oct 12 2012, 06:48 PM.
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| Mobson | Oct 12 2012, 08:10 PM Post #115 |
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Mother Nature's red in tooth and claw Such is life, when it's there in the raw But this virtual world Has consistently unfurled --------------------------------- |
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| Caro | Oct 12 2012, 10:37 PM Post #116 |
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I don't think our limericks are to be contemplated, w4at. Laughed at, mocked, corrected, sighed over, but hardly the subject of contemplation. Just go with the flow... Mother Nature's red in tooth and claw Such is life, when it's there in the raw But this virtual world Has consistently unfurled A taste for the maw with the jaw. We'll eat only veges and fruit |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 13 2012, 01:09 AM Post #117 |
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We'll eat only veges and fruit And maybe the odd bamboo shoot ----------------- ----------------- --------------------------- |
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| Caro | Oct 13 2012, 01:39 AM Post #118 |
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We'll eat only veges and fruit And maybe the odd bamboo shoot No blood and no guts ----------------- --------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 13 2012, 09:11 AM Post #119 |
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We'll eat only veges and fruit And maybe the odd bamboo shoot No blood and no guts Just mung beans and nuts --------------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 13 2012, 09:38 AM Post #120 |
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We'll eat only veges and fruit And maybe the odd bamboo shoot No blood and no guts Just mung beans and nuts I dread to think how we'll all toot! I sit and contemplate these lines --------------------------------- ------------------- ------------------- --------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 13 2012, 09:44 AM Post #121 |
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I sit and contemplate these lines And my will to live slowly declines ------------------- ------------------- --------------------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 13 2012, 10:00 AM Post #122 |
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I sit and contemplate these lines And my will to live slowly declines ------------------- ------------------- And seek the comfort of the vines. |
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| Caro | Oct 13 2012, 10:01 AM Post #123 |
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I sit and contemplate these lines And my will to live slowly declines [that's very funny, Dai, thanks] ------------------- ------------------- With no scansion and only poor rhymes. |
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| Caro | Oct 13 2012, 10:03 AM Post #124 |
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Oh, two at a time. So much for not appreciating the limericks. I sit and contemplate these lines And my will to live slowly declines ![]() I'll stare at the sky ------------------- And seek the comfort of the vines. |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 13 2012, 10:16 AM Post #125 |
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Two at a time here, Caro, but none at a time on the Limericks thread. I sit and contemplate these lines And my will to live slowly declines I'll stare at the sky, Heave a weary sigh And seek the comfort of the vines. There was an old vintner from Wales ------------------------------ ----------------- ----------------- ------------------------------ |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 13 2012, 11:14 AM Post #126 |
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There was an old vintner from Wales He was lauded through valleys and dales ----------------- ----------------- ------------------------------ |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 13 2012, 01:37 PM Post #127 |
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There was an old vintner from Wales He was lauded through valleys and dales The plonk that he made ----------------- ------------------------------ |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 13 2012, 04:04 PM Post #128 |
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There was an old vintner from Wales He was lauded through valleys and dales The plonk that he made ----------------- Which was better than all those Welsh ales |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 13 2012, 04:36 PM Post #129 |
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There was an old vintner from Wales He was lauded through valleys and dales The plonk that he made Tasted like lemonade - Which was better than all those Welsh ales ------------------------------------ ------------------------------------ ---------------------- ---------------------- But you can't beat a good pint of Brains. |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 13 2012, 05:07 PM Post #130 |
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I quite like the brew made by the Danes ------------------------------------ ---------------------- ---------------------- But you can't beat a good pint of Brains. |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 13 2012, 05:26 PM Post #131 |
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I quite like the brew made by the Danes Some rum drinks are made from sugar canes ---------------------- ---------------------- But you can't beat a good pint of Brains. |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 13 2012, 05:50 PM Post #132 |
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I quite like the brew made by the Danes Though in Cardiff, it's poured down the drains ---------------------- ---------------------- But you can't beat a good pint of Brains. |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 13 2012, 05:58 PM Post #133 |
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You're norming again, Norm. |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 13 2012, 06:05 PM Post #134 |
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I'm Normin' again Tick!!!...Please ignore |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 13 2012, 06:07 PM Post #135 |
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I quite like the brew made by the Danes Some rum drinks are made from sugar canes But they make one quite 'pooky' ---------------------- But you can't beat a good pint of Brains. |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 13 2012, 06:45 PM Post #136 |
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I quite like the brew made by the Danes Some rum drinks are made from sugar canes But they make one quite 'pooky' Wychwood ales are right spooky But you can't beat a good pint of Brains. ---------------------------------- Who used to work down on the farm ------------------- ------------------- ---------------------------------- |
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| Caro | Oct 14 2012, 01:32 AM Post #137 |
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---------------------------------- Who used to work down on the farm ------------------- ------------------- And managed to come to no harm. |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 14 2012, 11:25 AM Post #138 |
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A donkey, so tranquil and calm Who used to work down on the farm ------------------- ------------------- And managed to come to no harm. |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 14 2012, 02:26 PM Post #139 |
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A donkey, so tranquil and calm Who used to work down on the farm Got frisky one day, Had a roll in the hay And managed to come to no harm. A political chap from The Hague |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 14 2012, 03:42 PM Post #140 |
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A political chap from The Hague By Tourettes was constantly plagued |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 14 2012, 07:43 PM Post #141 |
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A political chap from The Hague By Tourettes was constantly plagued --------------------- --------------------- With a tumbler or two of Laphroaig |
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| Caro | Oct 14 2012, 09:22 PM Post #142 |
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A political chap from The Hague By Tourettes was constantly plagued --------------------- And calmed himself down With a tumbler or two of Laphroaig |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 15 2012, 12:24 AM Post #143 |
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A political chap from The Hague By Tourettes was constantly plagued So he played Jackson Browne And calmed himself down With a tumbler or two of Laphroaig. ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------- On the isle of Islay ------------------------------ |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 15 2012, 11:11 AM Post #144 |
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------------------------------ ------------------------------ had words with a tiler On the isle of Islay ------------------------------ |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 15 2012, 05:07 PM Post #145 |
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------------------------------ ------------------------------ had words with a tiler On the isle of Islay And upset a proctor from Bute |
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| Caro | Oct 16 2012, 09:25 AM Post #146 |
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A fellow with skills on the flute ------------------------------ Had words with a tiler On the isle of Islay And upset a proctor from Bute |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 16 2012, 11:47 AM Post #147 |
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A fellow with skills on the flute Was also a dab hand on the lute Had words with a tiler On the isle of Islay And upset a proctor from Bute A flugelhorn player from Dorset |
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| Mobson | Oct 16 2012, 11:52 AM Post #148 |
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A flugelhorn player from Dorset wore a tight, restrictive corset |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 16 2012, 12:02 PM Post #149 |
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A flugelhorn player from Dorset wore a tight, restrictive corset ----------------------------- She risked sudden death -------------------------------------- |
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| Mobson | Oct 16 2012, 12:13 PM Post #150 |
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A flugelhorn player from Dorset wore a tight, restrictive corset At the conductor's behest She risked sudden death -------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 16 2012, 12:32 PM Post #151 |
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A flugelhorn player from Dorset wore a tight, restrictive corset At the conductor's behest She risked sudden death She hadn't enough puff left to force it. Whenever I feel like a drink |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 16 2012, 12:52 PM Post #152 |
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Whenever I feel like a drink I wander to the kitchen sink -------------------- -------------------- ---------------------------- Edited by waiting4atickle, Oct 16 2012, 01:02 PM.
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| tafkaj | Oct 16 2012, 01:35 PM Post #153 |
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Whenever I feel like a drink I wander to the kitchen sink -------------------- But whiskey on th'rocks ---------------------------- Edited by tafkaj, Oct 16 2012, 01:35 PM.
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| Mobson | Oct 16 2012, 03:30 PM Post #154 |
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Whenever I feel like a drink I wander to the kitchen sink A bundle of shakes'n'shocks But whiskey on th'rocks --------------------------- Edited by Mobson, Oct 16 2012, 03:30 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 16 2012, 04:51 PM Post #155 |
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Whenever I feel like a drink I wander to the kitchen sink A bundle of shakes'n'shocks But whiskey on th'rocks Once again I feel "in-the-pink" ................................................ I always add wine when I'm cooking ...................... ...................... ............................................... |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 16 2012, 05:16 PM Post #156 |
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As long as there's nobody looking I always add wine when I'm cooking ...................... ...................... ............................................... |
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| Caro | Oct 17 2012, 04:18 AM Post #157 |
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As long as there's nobody looking I always add wine when I'm cooking ...................... ...................... And hope from a cop there's no booking. |
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| Mobson | Oct 17 2012, 08:17 AM Post #158 |
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As long as there's nobody looking I always add wine when I'm cooking Just enough to add punch ...................... And hope from a cop there's no booking. |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 17 2012, 01:22 PM Post #159 |
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As long as there's nobody looking I always add wine when I'm cooking Just enough to add punch Only for dinner, not lunch And hope from a cop there's no booking. A corpulant butcher from Dorking |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 17 2012, 03:52 PM Post #160 |
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A corpulant butcher from Dorking ---------------------------- -------------------- -------------------- No wonder the people were gawking! |
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| Mobson | Oct 17 2012, 03:58 PM Post #161 |
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A corpulant butcher from Dorking Sold meat so delicious to put a fork in -------------------- -------------------- No wonder the people were gawking! Edited by Mobson, Oct 17 2012, 03:58 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 17 2012, 04:08 PM Post #162 |
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A corpulant butcher from Dorking Sold meat so delicious to put a fork in His sweetbreads were to die for -------------------- No wonder the people were gawking! |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 17 2012, 05:58 PM Post #163 |
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A corpulant butcher from Dorking Sold meat so delicious to put a fork in His sweetbreads were to die for And his meatballs to sigh for No wonder the people were gawking Bill Brown was a baker from Bury |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 17 2012, 09:13 PM Post #164 |
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Bill Brown was a baker from Bury Who drooled o'er a Bakewell tart's cherry --------------------- --------------------- --------------------------------- |
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| Mobson | Oct 18 2012, 07:53 AM Post #165 |
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Bill Brown was a baker from Bury Who drooled o'er a Bakewell tart's cherry ................................. Her real name was Pam --------------------- --------------------------------- Edited by Mobson, Oct 18 2012, 07:59 AM.
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 18 2012, 03:02 PM Post #166 |
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Bill Brown was a baker from Bury Who drooled o'er a Bakewell tart's cherry Her real name was Pam And she told him to scram --------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 18 2012, 03:31 PM Post #167 |
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Bill Brown was a baker from Bury Who drooled o'er a Bakewell tart's cherry Her real name was Pam And she told him to scram 'Cos he'd contracted dysentery. Big Betty was a prison warder |
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| Mobson | Oct 18 2012, 09:58 PM Post #168 |
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Big Betty was a prison warder Men shook as she gave them an order |
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| Caro | Oct 18 2012, 10:20 PM Post #169 |
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Big Betty was a prison warder Men shook as she gave them an order ------------------ And gave them that look ----------------------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 18 2012, 11:22 PM Post #170 |
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Big Betty was a prison warder Men shook as she gave them an order If she picked on a crook And gave them that look ----------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 19 2012, 09:30 AM Post #171 |
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Big Betty was a prison warder Men shook as she gave them an order If she picked on a crook And gave them that look The brave ones went over and pawed 'er I don't think I'd like being in jail |
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| tafkaj | Oct 19 2012, 11:42 AM Post #172 |
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[Taking the initiative ... ]I might be e'en slower than a snail ------------------------------------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------- I don't think I'd like being in jail. |
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| Mobson | Oct 19 2012, 01:29 PM Post #173 |
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I might be e'en slower than a snail meticulously leaving a trail ---------------------- ---------------------- I don't think I'd like being in jail. |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 19 2012, 02:16 PM Post #174 |
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I might be e'en slower than a snail meticulously leaving a trail ---------------------- But nevertheless I don't think I'd like being in jail. |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 19 2012, 04:14 PM Post #175 |
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I might be e'en slower than a snail meticulously leaving a trail Of rancid slimyness But nevertheless I don't think I'd like being in jail. The girl of his dreams was called Bess ----------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- ---------------------------- ----------------------------------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 19 2012, 06:16 PM Post #176 |
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The girl of his dreams was called Bess She appeared there in states of undress ---------------------------- ---------------------------- ----------------------------------------------- |
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| Mobson | Oct 20 2012, 07:56 AM Post #177 |
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The girl of his dreams was called Bess She appeared there in states of undress ....................................... Whilst beckoning him come ----------------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 20 2012, 08:50 AM Post #178 |
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The girl of his dreams was called Bess She appeared there in states of undress She whispered: "keep mum" Whilst beckoning him come ----------------------------------------------- |
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| Mobson | Oct 20 2012, 09:09 AM Post #179 |
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The girl of his dreams was called Bess She appeared there in states of undress She whispered: "keep mum" Whilst beckoning him come Forcing him all his desires to confess |
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| Mobson | Oct 20 2012, 09:09 AM Post #180 |
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The Trade Unions are marching today |
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| tafkaj | Oct 20 2012, 12:22 PM Post #181 |
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[Oh, fer Chrissakes!!] The Trade Unions are marching today ------------------------------------------- --------------------------------- --------------------------------- In an idiosyncratic way. |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 20 2012, 12:47 PM Post #182 |
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The Trade Unions are marching today ---------------------------------------------- Something to do with the cuts --------------------------------- In an idiosyncratic way. |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 20 2012, 01:35 PM Post #183 |
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The Trade Unions are marching today It's a pity that they didn't just go away Something to do with the cuts --------------------------------- In an idiosyncratic way. |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 20 2012, 05:59 PM Post #184 |
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The Trade Unions are marching today It's a pity that they didn't just go away Something to do with the cuts At least they've got up off their butts In an idiosyncratic way. (I assume the normal rules of scansion were suspended for that one.) ---------------------------------- ---------------------------------- -------------------- -------------------- Because there's a bee in his bonnet. |
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| Mobson | Oct 20 2012, 06:15 PM Post #185 |
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Whilst composing a lovestruck sonnet ..................................................... .............. .............. Because there's a bee in his bonnet |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 21 2012, 05:13 PM Post #186 |
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Whilst composing a lovestruck sonnet Though nothing too histrionic ................................ ................................ Because there's a bee in his bonnet |
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| Mobson | Oct 21 2012, 05:15 PM Post #187 |
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Whilst composing a lovestruck sonnet Though nothing too histrionic Shakespeare cleared his throat ................................ Because there's a bee in his bonnet |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 21 2012, 08:50 PM Post #188 |
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Whilst composing a lovestruck sonnet Though nothing too histrionic Shakespeare cleared his throat Though never a quote Because there's a bee in his bonnet There's snow on the way by the weekend |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 21 2012, 09:39 PM Post #189 |
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There's snow on the way by the weekend But no need to go off at the deep end ---------------------- ---------------------- -------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 22 2012, 10:24 AM Post #190 |
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There's snow on the way by the weekend But no need to go off at the deep end Just fasten your skis ---------------------- -------------------------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 22 2012, 01:53 PM Post #191 |
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There's snow on the way by the weekend But no need to go off at the deep end Just fasten your skis And gird up your knees ------------------------------------- |
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| Mobson | Oct 23 2012, 07:56 AM Post #192 |
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There's snow on the way by the weekend But no need to go off at the deep end Just fasten your skis And gird up your knees Trying not to fall at the first bend *************************** My friends say I'm "fraffly well spoken" ................................................... ............... ............... ................................................... Edited by Mobson, Oct 23 2012, 07:57 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 23 2012, 10:29 AM Post #193 |
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My friends say I'm "fraffly well spoken" Gerraway! They've got to be jokin' ............. ............... ................................................... |
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| tafkaj | Oct 23 2012, 02:47 PM Post #194 |
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My friends say I'm "fraffly well spoken" Gerraway! They've got to be jokin' ............. ............... As a working class gal, I'm a token. |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 23 2012, 08:02 PM Post #195 |
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My friends say I'm "fraffly well spoken" Gerraway! They've got to be jokin' When I say my 'R's ............... As a working class gal, I'm a token. |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 24 2012, 10:35 AM Post #196 |
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My friends say I'm "fraffly well spoken" Gerraway! They've got to be jokin' When I say my 'R's All I hear are "AAAH's" As a working class gal, I'm a token. My working class roots, let me down |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 25 2012, 11:50 AM Post #197 |
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My working class roots, let me down I'm walking around with a frown |
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| Mobson | Oct 25 2012, 11:59 AM Post #198 |
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My working class roots, let me down I'm walking around with a frown .......................... Must get a face lift .............................................. |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 25 2012, 12:06 PM Post #199 |
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My working class roots, let me down I'm walking around with a frown To get it to shift Must get a face lift .............................................. |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 25 2012, 05:22 PM Post #200 |
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My working class roots, let me down I'm walking around with a frown To get it to shift Must get a face lift Or go out for a night on the town. There was a young man from Dun Laoghaire -------------------------------- ---------------- ---------------- -------------------------------- |
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