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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,607 Views) | |
| dai Cottomy | Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM Post #1 |
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792 It's awful, the lies that we tell And maybe we'll all go to Hell So always tell the Truth |
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| Mobson | Aug 18 2015, 06:02 AM Post #1901 |
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His embarrassment knew no bounds
Edited by Mobson, Aug 18 2015, 06:12 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 20 2015, 09:27 PM Post #1902 |
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His embarrassment knew no bounds He let forth several strangled sounds |
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| Mobson | Aug 21 2015, 09:28 AM Post #1903 |
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His embarrassment knew no bounds He let forth several strangled sounds ...... ...... Then he leapt off the cliff and drowns Edited by Mobson, Aug 21 2015, 09:28 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 21 2015, 01:22 PM Post #1904 |
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His embarrassment knew no bounds He let forth several strangled sounds And quick as a flash ...... Then he leapt off the cliff and drowns |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 23 2015, 04:27 PM Post #1905 |
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His embarrassment knew no bounds He let forth several strangled sounds And quick as a flash He ate sausage and mash Then he leapt off the cliff and drowns A mini-cab driver from Brighton |
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| Mobson | Aug 23 2015, 11:36 PM Post #1906 |
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A mini-cab driver from Brighton ............................................ ........ ........ All his passengers did frighten Edited by Mobson, Aug 23 2015, 11:37 PM.
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| Reg Chronotis | Aug 26 2015, 12:14 AM Post #1907 |
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A mini-cab driver from Brighton When cornering, said "That's a tight 'un!" ........ ........ All his passengers did frighten Edited by Reg Chronotis, Aug 26 2015, 12:18 AM.
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| Mobson | Aug 26 2015, 12:14 PM Post #1908 |
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Hi Reg...I've added 'he' to my last line...
Edited by Mobson, Aug 26 2015, 01:28 PM.
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| Mobson | Aug 26 2015, 12:15 PM Post #1909 |
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A mini-cab driver from Brighton When cornering, said "That's a tight 'un! He careered, he swerved ........ All his passengers he did frighten Edited by Mobson, Aug 26 2015, 01:28 PM.
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| Reg Chronotis | Aug 27 2015, 08:53 PM Post #1910 |
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A mini-cab driver from Brighton When cornering, said "That's a tight 'un! He careered, he swerved He seemed quite unnerved All his passengers he did frighten ............................................ When she suddenly shuddered and froze .......................... .......................... ............................................ |
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| Mobson | Aug 28 2015, 09:21 AM Post #1911 |
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............................................ When she suddenly shuddered and froze .......................... .......................... Panic over, she started to wiggle her toes |
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| Reg Chronotis | Aug 29 2015, 05:15 PM Post #1912 |
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Aunt Cecilia was cutting a rose When she suddenly shuddered and froze .......................... .......................... Panic over, she started to wiggle her toes |
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| Mobson | Sep 1 2015, 05:45 AM Post #1913 |
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Aunt Cecilia was cutting a rose When she suddenly shuddered and froze Nearly cutting off her thumb .......................... Panic over, she started to wiggle her toes |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 20 2015, 04:03 PM Post #1914 |
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Aunt Cecilia was cutting a rose When she suddenly shuddered and froze Nearly cutting off her thumb Then coming over all numb Panic over, she started to wiggle her toes She decided to build a brick wall |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 7 2015, 11:07 PM Post #1915 |
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She decided to build a brick wall But pride often goes 'fore a fall .................... .................... ........................................ |
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| Reg Chronotis | Oct 8 2015, 09:33 PM Post #1916 |
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She decided to build a brick wall But pride often goes 'fore a fall. Though 'twas not she who fell .................... ........................................ |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 8 2015, 11:57 PM Post #1917 |
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She decided to build a brick wall But pride often goes 'fore a fall. Though 'twas not she who fell 'Twas a twerp in a shell ........................................ |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 9 2015, 12:43 PM Post #1918 |
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She decided to build a brick wall But pride often goes 'fore a fall. Though 'twas not she who fell 'Twas a twerp in a shell Who thought it was the Royal Albert Hall A retired stock broker from Devon |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 10 2015, 10:25 AM Post #1919 |
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A retired stock broker from Devon ............................... ............... ............... Still makes money 24/7. |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 10 2015, 11:04 AM Post #1920 |
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A retired stock broker from Devon Died, and went straight up to heaven .................. .................. Still makes money 24/7. |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 10 2015, 04:15 PM Post #1921 |
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A retired stock broker from Devon Died, and went straight up to heaven .................. But his portfolio Still makes money 24/7. |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 11 2015, 12:46 AM Post #1922 |
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A retired stock broker from Devon Died, and went straight up to heaven Cause of death, polio But his portfolio Still makes money 24/7. A chiropodist named Arthur Blake |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 11 2015, 09:47 PM Post #1923 |
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A chiropodist named Arthur Blake Was dismayed when his hands 'gan to shake ..................... ..................... ....................................... |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 12 2015, 11:35 AM Post #1924 |
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A chiropodist named Arthur Blake Was dismayed when his hands 'gan to shake When he cut off a toe ..................... ....................................... |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 13 2015, 11:53 PM Post #1925 |
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A chiropodist named Arthur Blake Was dismayed when his hands 'gan to shake When he cut off a toe The blood started to flow ....................................... |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 14 2015, 10:20 AM Post #1926 |
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A chiropodist named Arthur Blake Was dismayed when his hands 'gan to shake When he cut off a toe The blood started to flow He cried "oops, what a silly mistake!" Octavia lived in Seattle |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 20 2015, 04:15 PM Post #1927 |
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Octavia lived in Seattle ................................ ......................... ......................... And a herd of Jersey cattle Edited by dai Cottomy, Oct 20 2015, 04:19 PM.
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 20 2015, 09:58 PM Post #1928 |
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Octavia lived in Seattle And dreamed about Simon Rattle ......................... ......................... And a herd of Jersey cattle Edited by waiting4atickle, Oct 20 2015, 09:59 PM.
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 24 2015, 01:59 AM Post #1929 |
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Octavia lived in Seattle And dreamed about Simon Rattle Playing poker she won ......................... And a herd of Jersey cattle |
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| Mobson | Nov 18 2015, 10:09 AM Post #1930 |
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Octavia lived in Seattle And dreamed about Simon Rattle Playing poker she won A baton from her son And a herd of Jersey cattle ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ She decided to seek him in Berlin Edited by Mobson, Nov 18 2015, 10:12 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Nov 19 2015, 10:45 PM Post #1931 |
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She decided to seek him in Berlin So she set off with her violin ............................ ............................ ............................................. Edited by dai Cottomy, Nov 19 2015, 10:48 PM.
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| Mobson | Nov 29 2015, 09:55 AM Post #1932 |
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She decided to seek him in Berlin So she set off with her violin ............................ Her dream came to fruition ............................................. |
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| dai Cottomy | Nov 29 2015, 10:11 AM Post #1933 |
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She decided to seek him in Berlin So she set off with her violin With expert tuition Her dream came to fruition ............................................. |
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| Mobson | Nov 30 2015, 01:49 PM Post #1934 |
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She decided to seek him in Berlin So she set off with her violin With expert tuition Her dream came to fruition And Reader, she's now married him! Of course that last bits not true! Edited by Mobson, Nov 30 2015, 03:37 PM.
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| dai Cottomy | Nov 30 2015, 10:40 PM Post #1935 |
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Of course that last bit's not true! ------------------------------------ ------------------------ ------------------------ So don't let us get into a stew |
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| Reg Chronotis | Dec 1 2015, 06:35 PM Post #1936 |
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Of course that last bit's not true! ------------------------------------ ------------------------ But it's good for a laugh, So don't let us get into a stew. |
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 1 2015, 07:01 PM Post #1937 |
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Of course that last bit's not true! Whoever thought so hasn't a clue ------------------------ But it's good for a laugh, So don't let us get into a stew. |
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| Reg Chronotis | Dec 4 2015, 12:18 PM Post #1938 |
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Of course that last bit's not true! Whoever thought so hasn't a clue Too fantastic by half, But it's good for a laugh, So don't let us get into a stew. While stewing some apples for a pie, |
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 4 2015, 12:43 PM Post #1939 |
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While stewing some apples for a pie, Something peculiar caught my eye ------------------------------- ------------------------------- ------------------------------------------ |
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| Mobson | Dec 25 2015, 05:07 AM Post #1940 |
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While stewing some apples for a pie, Something peculiar caught my eye So just for a laugh ------------------------------- ------------------------------------------ Edited by Mobson, Dec 25 2015, 05:08 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 25 2015, 11:05 AM Post #1941 |
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While stewing some apples for a pie, Something peculiar caught my eye So just for a laugh I took a photograph ------------------------------------------ |
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| Mobson | Dec 25 2015, 02:57 PM Post #1942 |
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While stewing some apples for a pie, Something peculiar caught my eye So just for a laugh I took a photograph Which made me laugh till I cry ******************************** The Queen is about to take to the air Edited by Mobson, Dec 25 2015, 02:58 PM.
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 25 2015, 05:25 PM Post #1943 |
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The Queen is about to take to the air After munching a chocolate éclair |
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| Mobson | Dec 29 2015, 10:19 AM Post #1944 |
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The Queen is about to take to the air After munching a chocolate éclair .............................. Ensuring teeth flossed ................................................... |
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| dai Cottomy | Dec 29 2015, 11:59 AM Post #1945 |
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The Queen is about to take to the air After munching a chocolate éclair With all fingers crossed Ensuring teeth flossed ................................................... |
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| Mobson | Dec 29 2015, 02:25 PM Post #1946 |
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The Queen is about to take to the air After munching a chocolate éclair With all fingers crossed Ensuring teeth flossed She commences with her glazed stare |
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| Mobson | Dec 29 2015, 02:30 PM Post #1947 |
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Two days to go till New Year |
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| Reg Chronotis | Jan 6 2016, 02:19 AM Post #1948 |
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Two days to go till New Year ................................ ..................... ..................... Now it seems we have missed it. Oh dear! |
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| dai Cottomy | Jan 6 2016, 05:14 PM Post #1949 |
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Two days to go till New Year I vowed to give up drinking beer ..................... ..................... Now it seems we have missed it. Oh dear |
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| waiting4atickle | Jan 7 2016, 02:27 AM Post #1950 |
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Two days to go till New Year I vowed to give up drinking beer Then I thought, "What the heck!" ..................... Now it seems we have missed it. Oh dear |
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| dai Cottomy | Jan 7 2016, 04:04 PM Post #1951 |
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Two days to go till New Year I vowed to give up drinking beer Then I thought, "What the heck! Let's stick out my neck" Now it seems we have missed it. Oh dear I thought I'd try brewing my own |
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| waiting4atickle | Jan 10 2016, 03:04 AM Post #1952 |
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I thought I'd try brewing my own ------------------------------- --------------- --------------- You should have heard everyone groan. |
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| dai Cottomy | Jan 10 2016, 12:27 PM Post #1953 |
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I thought I'd try brewing my own All my pals I started to phone --------------- --------------- You should have heard everyone groan. |
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| waiting4atickle | Jan 10 2016, 02:44 PM Post #1954 |
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I thought I'd try brewing my own All my pals I started to phone I bought all the kit --------------- You should have heard everyone groan. |
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| dai Cottomy | Jan 11 2016, 01:05 PM Post #1955 |
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I thought I'd try brewing my own All my pals I started to phone I bought all the kit But made a mess of it You should have heard everyone groan. A pub landlord decided to try |
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| Mobson | Jan 14 2016, 10:42 AM Post #1956 |
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A pub landlord decided to try A gimmick to entice passers-by |
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| Mobson | Jan 19 2016, 08:17 PM Post #1957 |
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A pub landlord decided to try A gimmick to entice passers-by ............................ With a pole dancing bear ............................................ |
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| dai Cottomy | Jan 23 2016, 12:16 AM Post #1958 |
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A pub landlord decided to try A gimmick to entice passers-by ---------------------- With a pole dancing bear And a pig who could actually fly |
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| Mobson | Jan 23 2016, 02:18 AM Post #1959 |
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A pub landlord decided to try A gimmick to entice passers-by A bearded lady called Clare With a pole dancing bear And a pig who could actually fly Edited by Mobson, Jan 23 2016, 02:19 AM.
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| Mobson | Jan 23 2016, 02:20 AM Post #1960 |
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Although the landlady wasn't too keen
Edited by Mobson, Jan 23 2016, 02:21 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 13 2016, 06:02 PM Post #1961 |
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Although the landlady wasn't too keen She was anxious not to seem mean ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------------------ Edited by dai Cottomy, Feb 13 2016, 06:04 PM.
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| Mobson | Feb 15 2016, 01:10 PM Post #1962 |
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Although the landlady wasn't too keen She was anxious not to seem mean ------------------------------ but the landlord had erred -------------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 15 2016, 02:30 PM Post #1963 |
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Although the landlady wasn't too keen She was anxious not to seem mean ------------------------------ but the landlord had erred And his comment was rather obscene |
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| Mobson | Feb 17 2016, 09:35 AM Post #1964 |
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Although the landlady wasn't too keen She was anxious not to seem mean Ignoring what had occurred But the landlord had erred And his comment was rather obscene ....................................................... Nearly time for the annual Spring Clean ................ ................ ........................................................ Edited by Mobson, Feb 17 2016, 09:39 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 18 2016, 01:00 PM Post #1965 |
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....................................................... Nearly time for the annual Spring Clean So pick up your mop ................ ........................................................ |
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| Mobson | Mar 10 2016, 03:06 PM Post #1966 |
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....................................................... Nearly time for the annual Spring Clean So pick up your mop Soaked with water and slop ....................................................... Edited by Mobson, Mar 10 2016, 03:06 PM.
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 10 2016, 05:44 PM Post #1967 |
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....................................................... Nearly time for the annual Spring Clean So pick up your mop Soaked with water and slop And clean off the stains of nicotine |
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| Mobson | Mar 20 2016, 01:42 PM Post #1968 |
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The first day of Spring must mean Nearly time for the annual Spring Clean So pick up your mop Soaked with water and slop And clean off the stains of nicotine |
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| Mobson | Mar 20 2016, 01:55 PM Post #1969 |
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........................................... Book that break in the sun ........ ........ ......................................... |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 22 2016, 12:49 AM Post #1970 |
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Mobs I hope you will forgive the liberty, but I added a couple of syllables to line two ......................................... Time to book that break in the sun ------ ........ We're only here once so have fun |
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| Mobson | Mar 22 2016, 12:03 PM Post #1971 |
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Now the holiday season's begun Time to book that break in the sun ------ ........ We're only here once so have fun |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 22 2016, 07:00 PM Post #1972 |
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Now the holiday season's begun Time to book that break in the sun Barbados or Greece? ........ We're only here once so have fun |
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| Mobson | Mar 22 2016, 07:31 PM Post #1973 |
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Now the holiday season's begun Time to book that break in the sun Barbados or Greece? Or maybe Tunis We're only here once so have fun |
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| Mobson | Mar 22 2016, 07:32 PM Post #1974 |
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The music shops of Denmark Street
Edited by Mobson, Mar 22 2016, 07:34 PM.
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 25 2016, 02:48 PM Post #1975 |
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The music shops of Denmark Street Where pop musicians used to meet ---------------------------- ---------------------------- ---------------------------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | Mar 25 2016, 11:01 PM Post #1976 |
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The music shops of Denmark Street Where pop musicians used to meet Are closing one by one ---------------------------- ---------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 26 2016, 05:28 PM Post #1977 |
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The music shops of Denmark Street Where pop musicians used to meet Are closing one by one And soon there will be none ---------------------------------------- |
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| Mobson | Apr 5 2016, 09:53 AM Post #1978 |
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The music shops of Denmark Street Where pop musicians used to meet Are closing one by one And soon there will be none No soul, No music, No beat |
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| Mobson | Apr 5 2016, 09:58 AM Post #1979 |
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The man who brought jihad to Britain |
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| waiting4atickle | Apr 5 2016, 10:44 AM Post #1980 |
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The man who brought jihad to Britain Deserves to have his balls bitten ------------- ------------- ----------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Apr 24 2016, 11:20 AM Post #1981 |
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The man who brought jihad to Britain Deserves to have his balls bitten ------------- ------------- And fed to an oversized kitten |
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| waiting4atickle | Apr 26 2016, 10:32 PM Post #1982 |
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The man who brought jihad to Britain Deserves to have his balls bitten By a British bulldog ------------- And fed to an oversized kitten |
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| dai Cottomy | Apr 27 2016, 12:00 PM Post #1983 |
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The man who brought jihad to Britain Deserves to have his balls bitten By a British bulldog Tenderised with a log And fed to an oversized kitten A sturdy young chap from Penzance |
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| Mobson | May 11 2016, 10:12 AM Post #1984 |
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A sturdy young chap from Penzance Had a penchant for snazzy pants |
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| dai Cottomy | May 12 2016, 02:52 PM Post #1985 |
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A sturdy young chap from Penzance Had a penchant for snazzy pants Some were green with red spots |
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| Mobson | May 13 2016, 07:44 AM Post #1986 |
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A sturdy young chap from Penzance Had a penchant for snazzy pants Some were green with red spots Others patterned with dots |
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| dai Cottomy | May 14 2016, 12:54 PM Post #1987 |
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A sturdy young chap from Penzance Had a penchant for snazzy pants Some were green with red spots Others patterned with dots That were really a swarm of red ants A winsome young maiden from Kerry |
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| Mobson | May 15 2016, 10:05 AM Post #1988 |
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A winsome young maiden from Kerry Eyed a young lad with which to make merry |
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| dai Cottomy | May 15 2016, 10:21 AM Post #1989 |
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A winsome young maiden from Kerry Eyed a young lad with which to make merry -------------------------------- -------------------------------- She discovered that she'd lost her cherry |
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| waiting4atickle | May 19 2016, 01:08 AM Post #1990 |
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A winsome young maiden from Kerry Eyed a young lad with which to make merry -------------------------------- With a Bakewell tart She discovered that she'd lost her cherry |
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| dai Cottomy | May 19 2016, 10:23 PM Post #1991 |
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A winsome young maiden from Kerry Eyed a young lad with which to make merry After she melted his heart With a Bakewell tart She discovered that she'd lost her cherry A plain clothes detective named Stan . Edited by dai Cottomy, May 19 2016, 10:27 PM.
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| Mobson | May 20 2016, 05:57 PM Post #1992 |
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A plain clothes detective named Stan .................................................... Of guns he was no fan ............................... .................................................... |
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| dai Cottomy | May 31 2016, 02:24 PM Post #1993 |
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A slight alteration to make it a bit more limerickish, Mobs A plain clothes detective named Stan Of guns he was never a fan ................................ ................................ He drove off in a furniture van |
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| Caro | Jul 25 2016, 05:54 AM Post #1994 |
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A plain clothes detective named Stan Of guns he was never a fan ................................ But then in a rage He drove off in a furniture van |
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| dai Cottomy | Jul 29 2016, 03:16 PM Post #1995 |
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A plain clothes detective named Stan Of guns he was never a fan Because of his age But then in a rage He drove off in a furniture van My favourite fish is the hake |
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| waiting4atickle | Jul 30 2016, 10:38 PM Post #1996 |
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My favourite fish is the hake But you won't catch them in the lake ----------- ----------- --------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 3 2016, 12:25 AM Post #1997 |
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My favourite fish is the hake But you won't catch them in the lake They prefer the ocean ------------------ ------------------------------------- |
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| Douglas | Aug 3 2016, 10:58 AM Post #1998 |
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My favourite fish is the hake But you won't catch them in the lake They prefer the ocean But make a commotion ------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 3 2016, 01:54 PM Post #1999 |
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My favourite fish is the hake But you won't catch them in the lake They prefer the ocean But make a commotion If you put them in the oven to bake I'm a good cook, so my friends say |
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| waiting4atickle | Aug 3 2016, 06:42 PM Post #2000 |
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![]() I'm a good cook, so my friends say The ones who've survived anyway -------------- -------------- ------------------------------ |
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