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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,605 Views) | |
| dai Cottomy | Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM Post #1 |
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792 It's awful, the lies that we tell And maybe we'll all go to Hell So always tell the Truth |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 11 2016, 07:14 PM Post #2101 |
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There was an old fellow from Luton Who loved to lie down on his futon --------------------------- --------------------------- And now he's allergic to gluten. |
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| Douglas | Sep 11 2016, 09:40 PM Post #2102 |
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My mistake
Edited by Douglas, Sep 12 2016, 12:30 AM.
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 12 2016, 12:18 AM Post #2103 |
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There was an old fellow from Luton Who loved to lie down on his futon And eat bread and cheese --------------------------- And now he's allergic to gluten. |
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| Douglas | Sep 12 2016, 12:32 AM Post #2104 |
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There was an old fellow from Luton Who loved to lie down on his futon And eat bread and cheese But caught some disease And now he's allergic to gluten. There was a young fellow from Glamis ----------------------------------------- ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 12 2016, 01:23 AM Post #2105 |
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There was a young fellow from Glamis Who could recite the whole Book of Psalms ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------------------------------------- |
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| Douglas | Sep 12 2016, 09:47 AM Post #2106 |
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There was a young fellow from Glamis Who could recite the whole Book of Psalms ------------------------------ ------------------------------ As he feasted on oysters and clams. |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 12 2016, 09:08 PM Post #2107 |
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There was a young fellow from Glamis Who could recite the whole Book of Psalms ------------------------------ And slid to the floor As he feasted on oysters and clams. I'm beginning to wonder if Anglo-Scottish limericks are such a good idea.) |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 12 2016, 10:10 PM Post #2108 |
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There was a young fellow from Glamis Who could recite the whole Book of Psalms He let out a roar And slid to the floor As he feasted on oysters and clams. There once was a chappie called Belvoir Edited by dai Cottomy, Sep 12 2016, 10:10 PM.
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| Douglas | Sep 12 2016, 10:18 PM Post #2109 |
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There once was a chappie called Belvoir Who caught a most virulent fever ------------------------- ------------------------- -------------------------------------------- Edited by Douglas, Sep 12 2016, 10:21 PM.
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 13 2016, 02:35 PM Post #2110 |
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There once was a chappie called Belvoir Who caught a most virulent fever ------------------------- ------------------------- He swore he didn't deceive her |
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| Douglas | Sep 13 2016, 04:16 PM Post #2111 |
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There once was a chappie called Belvoir Who caught a most virulent fever ------------------------- Whatever they said He swore he didn't deceive her |
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| Mobson | Sep 14 2016, 03:51 PM Post #2112 |
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There once was a chappie called Belvoir Who caught a most virulent fever Found fornicating in bed Whatever they said He swore he didn't deceive her |
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| Mobson | Sep 14 2016, 03:52 PM Post #2113 |
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Her name was Nastasya Filippovna |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 14 2016, 08:48 PM Post #2114 |
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Her name was Nastasya Filippovna ---------------------------------------- --------------------------- ---------------------------- With her best friend Anna Petrovna |
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| Douglas | Sep 14 2016, 10:14 PM Post #2115 |
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Her name was Nastasya Filippovna ---------------------------------------- --------------------------- So she got into bed With her best friend Anna Petrovna |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 16 2016, 01:36 PM Post #2116 |
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Her name was Nastasya Filippovna ---------------------------------------- At thirty was unwed So she got into bed With her best friend Anna Petrovna Edited by dai Cottomy, Sep 16 2016, 03:24 PM.
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 16 2016, 02:19 PM Post #2117 |
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Her name was Nastasya Filippovna She lived in the city of Kovna At thirty was unwed So she got into bed With her best friend Anna Petrovna -------------------------------- Was a Lithuanian dancer ------------------ ------------------ -------------------------------- Edited by waiting4atickle, Sep 16 2016, 02:20 PM.
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| Douglas | Sep 17 2016, 09:50 AM Post #2118 |
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-------------------------------- Was a Lithuanian dancer ------------------ ------------------ But he was an out-and-out chancer |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 17 2016, 02:20 PM Post #2119 |
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Austėja Petras - known as "the prancer" Was a Lithuanian dancer ------------------ ------------------ But she was an out-and-out chancer |
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| Douglas | Sep 17 2016, 04:21 PM Post #2120 |
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Austėja Petras - known as "the prancer" Was a Lithuanian dancer. She sought to impress ------------------ But she was an out-and-out chancer |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 17 2016, 10:38 PM Post #2121 |
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Austėja Petras - known as "the prancer" Was a Lithuanian dancer. She sought to impress By doffing her dress But she was an out-and-out chancer Bill Sykes had a girlfriend called Nancy |
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| Douglas | Sep 17 2016, 10:51 PM Post #2122 |
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Bill Sykes had a girlfriend called Nancy ------------------------------------------ -------------------------------- -------------------------------- It depends on what tickles your fancy. |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 17 2016, 10:54 PM Post #2123 |
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Bill Sykes had a girlfriend called Nancy Who made eyes at a builder called Clancy -------------------------------- -------------------------------- It depends on what tickles your fancy. |
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| Douglas | Sep 17 2016, 11:09 PM Post #2124 |
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Bill Sykes had a girlfriend called Nancy Who made eyes at a builder called Clancy. The builder, in turn, -------------------------------- It depends on what tickles your fancy. |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 18 2016, 09:55 PM Post #2125 |
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Bill Sykes had a girlfriend called Nancy Who made eyes at a builder called Clancy. The builder, in turn, Had a crush on young Ern - It depends on what tickles your fancy. --------------------------------- --------------------------------- ------------------- And caused quite a stir --------------------------------- |
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| Douglas | Sep 18 2016, 10:16 PM Post #2126 |
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--------------------------------- --------------------------------- ------------------- And caused quite a stir. It made the front page in the papers Edited by Douglas, Sep 18 2016, 11:03 PM.
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 20 2016, 12:39 AM Post #2127 |
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He had a dull job at the draper's --------------------------------- ------------------- And caused quite a stir. It made the front page in the papers |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 20 2016, 11:05 AM Post #2128 |
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He had a dull job at the draper's Suffered from a touch of the vapours ------------------- And caused quite a stir. It made the front page in the papers |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 21 2016, 06:18 PM Post #2129 |
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He had a dull job at the draper's Suffered from a touch of the vapours Had a suit made of fur And caused quite a stir. It made the front page in the papers ----------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- -------------------------------- A miss is as good as a mile |
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| Douglas | Sep 22 2016, 04:33 PM Post #2130 |
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A dashing young man from Argyle ----------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- -------------------------------- A miss is as good as a mile |
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| Mobson | Sep 22 2016, 05:36 PM Post #2131 |
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A dashing young man from Argyle Blessed with a most beguiling smile -------------------------------- -------------------------------- A miss is as good as a mile |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 23 2016, 12:38 AM Post #2132 |
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A dashing young man from Argyle Blessed with a most beguiling smile Failed to care for his teeth -------------------------------- A miss is as good as a mile |
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| Caro | Sep 24 2016, 06:02 AM Post #2133 |
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A dashing young man from Argyle Blessed with a most beguiling smile Failed to care for his teeth And the gums underneath But a miss is as good as a mile. ------------------------ ------------------------ She took to the air ----------------- ------------------------ Edited by Caro, Sep 24 2016, 06:14 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 24 2016, 10:00 AM Post #2134 |
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------------------------ ------------------------ She took to the air On a wing and a prayer ------------------------ |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 24 2016, 10:21 AM Post #2135 |
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------------------------ ------------------------ She took to the air On a wing and a prayer And came down with a bump in the yard. |
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| Douglas | Sep 24 2016, 12:23 PM Post #2136 |
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------------------------ Was persuaded to try something hard. She took to the air On a wing and a prayer And came down with a bump in the yard. |
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| Mobson | Sep 25 2016, 09:18 AM Post #2137 |
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Ann, who worked as a prison guard Was persuaded to try something hard She took to the air On a wing and a prayer And came down with a bump in the yard. |
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| Mobson | Sep 25 2016, 09:21 AM Post #2138 |
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The inmates laughed when she fell |
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| Douglas | Sep 25 2016, 12:09 PM Post #2139 |
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The inmates laughed when she fell -------------------------------------- ---------------------------- ---------------------------- It is always so hard to tell. |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 25 2016, 05:12 PM Post #2140 |
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The inmates laughed when she fell, Hit the ground and muttered: "Oh Hell! ---------------------------- ---------------------------- It is always so hard to tell |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 25 2016, 05:19 PM Post #2141 |
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The inmates laughed when she fell, Hit the ground and muttered: "Oh Hell! ---------------------------- Or just having fun? It is always so hard to tell |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 25 2016, 05:56 PM Post #2142 |
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The inmates laughed when she fell, Hit the ground and muttered: "Oh Hell! Was it a dry run? Or just having fun? It is always so hard to tell An appalling old crone called Della |
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| Douglas | Sep 25 2016, 09:14 PM Post #2143 |
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An appalling old crone called Della Could never stop eating Nutella ----------------------------- ----------------------------- ----------------------------------- |
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| Caro | Sep 25 2016, 09:58 PM Post #2144 |
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An appalling old crone called Della Could never stop eating Nutella ----------------------------- And then was so sick ----------------------------------- |
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| Douglas | Sep 25 2016, 10:15 PM Post #2145 |
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An appalling old crone called Della Could never stop eating Nutella ----------------------------- And then was so sick All over the shoes of a fella. |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 25 2016, 11:52 PM Post #2146 |
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An appalling old crone called Della Could never stop eating Nutella She spread it real thick And then was so sick All over the shoes of a fella. --------------------------- Fell asleep with his head in a mousse ----------------- ----------------- --------------------------- |
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| Caro | Sep 26 2016, 03:10 AM Post #2147 |
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A dopey old man, name of Bruce, Fell asleep with his head in a mousse ----------------- ----------------- --------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 26 2016, 10:55 AM Post #2148 |
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A dopey old man, name of Bruce, Fell asleep with his head in a mousse ----------------- ----------------- He discovered that he had turned puce |
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| Douglas | Sep 26 2016, 12:40 PM Post #2149 |
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A dopey old man, name of Bruce, Fell asleep with his head in a mousse ----------------- Oh, what a surprise, He discovered that he had turned puce |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 26 2016, 02:32 PM Post #2150 |
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A dopey old man, name of Bruce, Fell asleep with his head in a mousse When he opened his eyes Oh, what a surprise, He discovered that he had turned puce A boisterous lady from Dover |
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| Douglas | Sep 26 2016, 02:57 PM Post #2151 |
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A boisterous lady from Dover Had a like-minded dog she called Rover ------------------- ------------------- --------------------------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 26 2016, 03:15 PM Post #2152 |
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A boisterous lady from Dover Had a like-minded dog she called Rover ------------------- ------------------- To the edge of the cliff and jumped over. |
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| Douglas | Sep 26 2016, 03:19 PM Post #2153 |
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A boisterous lady from Dover Had a like-minded dog she called Rover ------------------- She chased after him To the edge of the cliff and jumped over. |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 26 2016, 04:59 PM Post #2154 |
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A boisterous lady from Dover Had a like-minded dog she called Rover Then one day, on a whim, She chased after him To the edge of the cliff and jumped over. A lollipop lady from Leeds ----------------------- ------------- ------------- ----------------------- Edited by waiting4atickle, Sep 26 2016, 04:59 PM.
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| Douglas | Sep 27 2016, 10:27 AM Post #2155 |
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A lollipop lady from Leeds Was noted for doing good deeds ------------- ------------- ----------------------- |
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| Caro | Sep 28 2016, 02:34 AM Post #2156 |
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A lollipop lady from Leeds Was noted for doing good deeds ------------- ------------ And gave them some jolly good feeds. |
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| Douglas | Sep 28 2016, 02:42 PM Post #2157 |
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A lollipop lady from Leeds Was noted for doing good deeds. She would open her door, ------------ And gave them some jolly good feeds. |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 29 2016, 12:32 AM Post #2158 |
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A lollipop lady from Leeds Was noted for doing good deeds. She would open her door, To let in the poor And gave them some jolly good feeds An itinerant beggar from Kilkenny |
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| Douglas | Sep 29 2016, 12:50 AM Post #2159 |
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An itinerant beggar from Kilkenny ------------------------------------- ----------------------- ----------------------- I told him I didn't have any |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 29 2016, 12:59 AM Post #2160 |
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An itinerant beggar from Kilkenny Being desperate to spend a penny ----------------------- ----------------------- I told him I didn't have any |
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| Douglas | Sep 29 2016, 01:26 AM Post #2161 |
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An itinerant beggar from Kilkenny Being desperate to spend a penny He asked me for money ----------------------- I told him I didn't have any |
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| Caro | Sep 29 2016, 04:24 AM Post #2162 |
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An itinerant beggar from Kilkenny Being desperate to spend a penny He asked me for money To buy himself honey I told him I didn't have any. ------------------------- ------------------------- It wasn't a game -------------- ------------------------- |
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| Douglas | Sep 29 2016, 10:17 AM Post #2163 |
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------------------------- ------------------------- It wasn't a game She was just an old flame ------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 29 2016, 10:49 AM Post #2164 |
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------------------------- ------------------------- It wasn't a game She was just an old flame And was only after my lolly |
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| Douglas | Sep 29 2016, 02:10 PM Post #2165 |
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One night I was feeling so jolly ------------------------- It wasn't a game She was just an old flame And was only after my lolly |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 29 2016, 03:54 PM Post #2166 |
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One night I was feeling so jolly I played a trick on young Molly It wasn't a game She was just an old flame And was only after my lolly She didn't think it was funny |
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| Douglas | Sep 29 2016, 05:44 PM Post #2167 |
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She didn't think it was funny -------------------------------- ------------------------ ------------------------ And ran away with my money. |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 29 2016, 08:39 PM Post #2168 |
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She didn't think it was funny What I tried to do with the honey ------------------------ ------------------------ And ran away with my money. |
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| Douglas | Sep 29 2016, 10:23 PM Post #2169 |
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She didn't think it was funny What I tried to do with the honey ------------------------ She got out of bed And ran away with my money. |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 30 2016, 12:16 PM Post #2170 |
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She didn't think it was funny What I tried to do with the honey Shaking her head She got out of bed And ran away with my money. A languorous lady from Leeds ----------------------------------- --------------------------- --------------------------- ------------------------------------ Edited by dai Cottomy, Sep 30 2016, 12:18 PM.
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| Douglas | Sep 30 2016, 04:00 PM Post #2171 |
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A languorous lady from Leeds ----------------------------------- --------------------------- --------------------------- Isn't the one who succeeds. |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 30 2016, 04:13 PM Post #2172 |
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A languorous lady from Leeds Liked men who did venturesome deeds --------------------------- --------------------------- Isn't the one who succeeds. |
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| Mobson | Oct 3 2016, 04:37 PM Post #2173 |
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A languorous lady from Leeds Liked men who did venturesome deeds They may'nt be bright --------------------------- Isn't the one who succeeds. Edited by Mobson, Oct 3 2016, 04:37 PM.
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| Douglas | Oct 3 2016, 04:44 PM Post #2174 |
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A languorous lady from Leeds Liked men who did venturesome deeds They mayn't be bright But the one always right Isn't the one who succeeds. If ever you come up this way, -------------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 3 2016, 04:55 PM Post #2175 |
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If ever you come up this way, Try to avoid coming on Friday -------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------------- Edited by dai Cottomy, Oct 3 2016, 05:04 PM.
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 3 2016, 09:00 PM Post #2176 |
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If ever you come up this way, Try to avoid coming on Friday -------------------------- -------------------------- Be bonny, blithe and good and gay. |
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| Douglas | Oct 3 2016, 10:16 PM Post #2177 |
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If ever you come up this way, Try to avoid coming on Friday For that's the day when -------------------------- Be bonny, blithe and good and gay. |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 4 2016, 09:27 AM Post #2178 |
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If ever you come up this way, Try to avoid coming on Friday For that's the day when Women dress up as men Be bonny, blithe and good and gay. A farmer I know has a large pig ------------------------------------- ----------------------------- ----------------------------- ------------------------------------ Edited by dai Cottomy, Oct 4 2016, 09:30 AM.
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| Douglas | Oct 4 2016, 04:44 PM Post #2179 |
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A farmer I know has a large pig ------------------------------------- ----------------------------- ----------------------------- And the pie was ever so big. |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 4 2016, 06:32 PM Post #2180 |
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A farmer I know has a large pig And has trained it to dance a highland jig ----------------------------- ----------------------------- And the pie was ever so big. |
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| Caro | Oct 7 2016, 01:21 AM Post #2181 |
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A farmer I know has a large pig And has trained it to dance a highland jig He's fattened it up And the pie was ever so big. |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 8 2016, 06:53 PM Post #2182 |
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A farmer I know has a large pig And has trained it to dance a highland jig He's fattened it up With minced seal pup And the pie was ever so big. There once was a burglar called Vince |
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| Douglas | Oct 9 2016, 10:39 PM Post #2183 |
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There once was a burglar called Vince ------------------------------------------ ----------------------------- ----------------------------- So they fed him on "tatties and mince". |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 10 2016, 02:15 PM Post #2184 |
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There once was a burglar called Vince Whose favourite fruit was the quince ----------------------------- ----------------------------- So they fed him on "tatties and mince". |
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| Douglas | Oct 11 2016, 10:11 AM Post #2185 |
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There once was a burglar called Vince Whose favourite fruit was the quince ----------------------------- Had none of that crop So they fed him on "tatties and mince". |
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| Mobson | Oct 11 2016, 04:51 PM Post #2186 |
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There once was a burglar called Vince Whose favourite fruit was the quince But the local farm shop Had none of that crop So they fed him on "tatties and mince". |
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| Mobson | Oct 11 2016, 04:53 PM Post #2187 |
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........................................... ........................................... ............................. As hard as they tried ............................................ Edited by Mobson, Oct 11 2016, 04:53 PM.
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| Douglas | Oct 11 2016, 06:48 PM Post #2188 |
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........................................... ........................................... ............................. As hard as they tried They couldn't escape from her clutches |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 12 2016, 08:42 AM Post #2189 |
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A female crook known as "The Duchess" ........................................... ............................. As hard as they tried They couldn't escape from her clutches |
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| Douglas | Oct 12 2016, 09:58 AM Post #2190 |
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A female crook known as "The Duchess" Was very agile on her crutches ............................. As hard as they tried They couldn't escape from her clutches |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 12 2016, 01:38 PM Post #2191 |
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A female crook known as "The Duchess" Was very agile on her crutches With her lightning stride As hard as they tried They couldn't escape from her clutches ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- With a mighty heave ----------------------- ---------------------------------------- |
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| Douglas | Oct 12 2016, 02:10 PM Post #2192 |
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---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- With a mighty heave While taking his leave ---------------------------------------- |
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| Mobson | Oct 12 2016, 10:59 PM Post #2193 |
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Sam just loved working out in the gym ---------------------------------------- With a mighty heave While taking his leave ---------------------------------------- |
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| Douglas | Oct 12 2016, 11:11 PM Post #2194 |
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Sam just loved working out in the gym Wearing a visage so terribly grim With a mighty heave While taking his leave ---------------------------------------- |
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| Caro | Oct 12 2016, 11:18 PM Post #2195 |
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Sam just loved working out in the gym Wearing a visage so terribly grim With a mighty heave While taking his leave He broke down and damaged his limb. -------------------------------- -------------------------------- It seemed to be hit ------------------ ------------------------------- Edited by Caro, Oct 12 2016, 11:19 PM.
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| Douglas | Oct 12 2016, 11:31 PM Post #2196 |
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-------------------------------- -------------------------------- It seemed to be hit For it stumbled a bit ------------------------------- |
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| Douglas | Oct 15 2016, 04:21 PM Post #2197 |
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-------------------------------- -------------------------------- It seemed to be hit For it stumbled a bit Before it ran clean out of sight. |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 15 2016, 11:31 PM Post #2198 |
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-------------------------------- Driving through the evening twilight It seemed to be hit For it stumbled a bit Before it ran clean out of sight. |
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| Douglas | Oct 16 2016, 01:52 AM Post #2199 |
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I encountered a stag one night, Driving through the evening twilight It seemed to be hit For it stumbled a bit Before it ran clean out of sight. ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- --------------------------- --------------------------- And couldn't stop scratching for weeks. |
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| Mobson | Oct 17 2016, 01:27 AM Post #2200 |
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We encountered strange creatures with beaks ---------------------------------------- --------------------------- --------------------------- And couldn't stop scratching for weeks. |
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7:03 AM Jul 13