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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,604 Views)
dai Cottomy
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792



It's awful, the lies that we tell
And maybe we'll all go to Hell
So always tell the Truth
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Douglas
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We encountered strange creatures with beaks
While scaling the Dolomite peaks
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---------------------------
And couldn't stop scratching for weeks.
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Mobson
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We encountered strange creatures with beaks
While scaling the Dolomite peaks
They spat out green venom
---------------------------
And couldn't stop scratching for weeks.
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Caro

We encountered strange creatures with beaks
While scaling the Dolomite peaks
They spat out green venom
Which stuck to our denim
And we couldn't stop scratching for weeks.


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He ran to the forest
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dai Cottomy
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--------------------------------
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He ran to the forest
To look for a florist
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Mobson
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Caro
Oct 20 2016, 04:53 AM
We encountered strange creatures with beaks
While scaling the Dolomite peaks
They spat out green venom
Which stuck to our denim
And we couldn't stop scratching for weeks.
<laugh> <laugh> ...That's a good one...really made me laugh!!!
Edited by Mobson, Oct 20 2016, 08:09 PM.
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Mobson
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--------------------------------
He remembered as he approached home
He ran to the forest
To look for a florist
--------------------------------
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Douglas
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There was a young chap called McComb
He remembered as he approached home
He ran to the forest
To look for a florist
--------------------------------
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dai Cottomy
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There was a young chap called McComb
He remembered as he approached home
He ran to the forest
To look for a florist
Or failing that, a garden gnome

A music student from The Wirral
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waiting4atickle
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A music student from The Wirral
Got a nasty scratch from a squirrel
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---------------------------------

Edited by waiting4atickle, Oct 22 2016, 12:18 AM.
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Douglas
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A music student from The Wirral
Got a nasty scratch from a squirrel
When it started to fester
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---------------------------------
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dai Cottomy
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A music student from The Wirral
Got a nasty scratch from a squirrel
When it started to fester
He moved to Leicester
---------------------------------
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Caro

A music student from The Wirral
Got a nasty scratch from a squirrel
When it started to fester
He moved to Leicester
And found a doctor named Cyril.

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-----------------
It was a cruel blow
-----------------------------
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Mobson
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A music student from The Wirral
Got a nasty scratch from a squirrel
When it started to fester
He moved to Leicester
And found a doctor named Cyril.



The Doc the poor man's arm did saw off
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-----------------
It was a cruel blow
--------------------------------------------
Edited by Mobson, Oct 24 2016, 03:01 AM.
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Douglas
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The Doc the poor man's arm did saw off
--------------------------------------------
With no arm for his bow
It was a cruel blow
--------------------------------------------
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Mobson
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The Doc the poor man's arm did saw off
--------------------------------------------
With no arm for his bow
It was a cruel blow
To see it lying so disarmingly in a trough
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dai Cottomy
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The Doc the poor man's arm did saw off
He only wanted a cure for his cough
With no arm for his bow
It was a cruel blow
To see it lying so disarmingly in a trough

The clocks will go back very soon



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Mobson
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The clocks will go back very soon
Hello to darkness and gloom
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Douglas
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The clocks will go back very soon
Hello to darkness and gloom
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-------------------
You'll sound like a prophet of doom
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Mobson
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The clocks will go back very soon
Hello to darkness and gloom
Try not to despair
-------------------
You'll sound like a prophet of doom
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Douglas
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The clocks will go back very soon
Hello to darkness and gloom
Try not to despair
If you don't take care
You'll sound like a prophet of doom.

The result of the US election
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dai Cottomy
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The result of the US election
Could lead to a sense of dejection
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-------------------------------
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Mobson
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The result of the US election
Could lead to a sense of dejection
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------------------------
Leaving plenty of time for reflection
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dai Cottomy
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The result of the US election
Could lead to a sense of dejection
No it's not Forrest Gump
------------------------
Leaving plenty of time for reflection
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Mobson
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The result of the US election
Could lead to a sense of dejection
No it's not Forrest Gump
But it's given plenty the hump
Leaving plenty of time for reflection
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Mobson
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Back home there's two minutes silence
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dai Cottomy
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Back home there's two minutes silence
With the odd outbreak of violence
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Caro

Back home there's two minutes silence
With the odd outbreak of violence
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-------------------
It soon gives way to dalliance.
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dai Cottomy
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Back home there's two minutes silence
With the odd outbreak of violence
Then after a while
-------------------
It soon gives way to dalliance.

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Mobson
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Back home there's two minutes silence
With the odd outbreak of violence
Then after a while
We all start to smile
It soon gives way to dalliance.
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Mobson
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There once was a man called Farage
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Douglas
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There once was a man called Farage
Whose antics produced such a barrage
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dai Cottomy
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There once was a man called Farage
Whose antics produced such a barrage
--------------------------
--------------------------
He was forced to sleep in his garage
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Douglas
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There once was a man called Farage
Whose antics produced such a barrage
Of anger and spite
--------------------------
He was forced to sleep in his garage
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dai Cottomy
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There once was a man called Farage
Whose antics produced such a barrage
Of anger and spite
That when he was tight
He was forced to sleep in his garage

Ambassdor to the U.S? What a larf!

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waiting4atickle
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Ambassdor to the U.S? What a larf!
------------------------------
Well, I'll eat my hat
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------------------------------

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Douglas
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Ambassdor to the U.S? What a larf!
------------------------------
Well, I'll eat my hat
If it comes to that
------------------------------
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dai Cottomy
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Ambassdor to the U.S? What a larf!
You might as well choose a giraffe
Well, I'll eat my hat
If it comes to that
------------------------------
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Douglas
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Ambassdor to the U.S? What a larf!
You might as well choose a giraffe
Well, I'll eat my hat
If it comes to that
It would be such a terrible gaffe.

The Remainers complain about Brexit
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waiting4atickle
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The Remainers complain about Brexit
-----------------------------------------
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--------------------------------
And now they're going to flex it.

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dai Cottomy
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The Remainers complain about Brexit
The other lot say that May wrecks it
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--------------------------------
And now they're going to flex it.
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waiting4atickle
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The Remainers complain about Brexit
The other lot say that May wrecks it
--------------------------------
But they've got the muscle
And now they're going to flex it.

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Douglas
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The Remainers complain about Brexit
The other lot say that May wrecks it
It may be a tussle
But they've got the muscle
And now they're going to flex it.

Let's forget about Europe for now
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dai Cottomy
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Let's forget about Europe for now
And turn our thoughts to things high brow
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Douglas
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Let's forget about Europe for now
And turn our thoughts to things high brow
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---------------------------
And that is sufficient, I trow.
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dai Cottomy
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Let's forget about Europe for now
And turn our thoughts to things high brow
Like peace and goodwill
---------------------------
And that is sufficient, I trow.
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Douglas
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Let's forget about Europe for now
And turn our thoughts to things high brow
Like peace and goodwill
Each Jack with his Jill
And that is sufficient, I trow.

It'll soon be the shortest of days
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dai Cottomy
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It'll soon be the shortest of days
And we succumb to a nagging malaise
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Caro

It'll soon be the shortest of days
And we succumb to a nagging malaise
-----------------
The sun never shines
----------------------------
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dai Cottomy
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It'll soon be the shortest of days
And we succumb to a nagging malaise
Our Labrador whines
The sun never shines
----------------------------
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Douglas
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It'll soon be the shortest of days
And we succumb to a nagging malaise
Our Labrador whines
The sun never shines
When they lengthen you'll hear our Hoorays.

There was a young man from Nantucket
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dai Cottomy
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There was a young man from Nantucket
Who had a big hole in his bucket
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----------------------------------
---------------------------------------------


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Douglas
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There was a young man from Nantucket
Who had a big hole in his bucket
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----------------------------------
And all he could do was to chuck it.
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dai Cottomy
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There was a young man from Nantucket
Who had a big hole in his bucket
When the water gushed out
----------------------------------
And all he could do was to chuck it.
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Douglas
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There was a young man from Nantucket
Who had a big hole in his bucket.
When the water gushed out,
It spread all about
And all he could do was to chuck it.

I think I should wait till tomorrow
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Caro

I think I should wait till tomorrow
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-------------------------
----------------------
And then I will just write to borrow.
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dai Cottomy
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I think I should wait till tomorrow
-------------------------------------
To tell you I'm broke
----------------------
And then I will just write to borrow.
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Douglas
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I think I should wait till tomorrow
To let you know of my sorrow
To tell you I'm broke
----------------------
And then I will just write to borrow.
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dai Cottomy
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I think I should wait till tomorrow
To let you know of my sorrow
To tell you I'm broke
It's really no joke
And then I will just write to borrow.

An angry old person from Poole
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Douglas
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An angry old person from Poole
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-------------------------
And called him a silly old fool.
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dai Cottomy
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An angry old person from Poole
Climbed into his fridge to keep cool
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-------------------------
And called him a silly old fool.
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Douglas
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An angry old person from Poole
Climbed into his fridge to keep cool
They found he had froze
-------------------------
And called him a silly old fool.
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dai Cottomy
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An angry old person from Poole
Climbed into his fridge to keep cool
They found he had froze
From his nose to his toes
And called him a silly old fool.


Here's health to our founder Ed Lear
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Edited by dai Cottomy, Dec 15 2016, 03:41 PM.
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Douglas
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Here's health to our founder Ed Lear
----------------------------------------
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--------------------------
That wonderful fellow, Ed Lear.

(Keeping his original rhyme scheme.)
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dai Cottomy
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Here's health to our founder Ed Lear
His rhyme scheme was ever so clear
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--------------------------
That wonderful fellow, Ed Lear.
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waiting4atickle
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Here's health to our founder Ed Lear
His rhyme scheme was ever so clear
--------------------------
Although rather weird
That wonderful fellow, Ed Lear.

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dai Cottomy
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Here's health to our founder Ed Lear
His rhyme scheme was ever so clear
By some revered
Although rather weird
That wonderful fellow, Ed Lear.

Today is the first day of winter

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waiting4atickle
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Today is the first day of winter
And I've got quite a nasty splinter

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Douglas
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Today is the first day of winter
And I've got quite a nasty splinter
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By the length of the day it's midwinter.
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Douglas
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Today is the first day of winter
And I've got quite a nasty splinter
---------------------------
I'd call it a skelf
By the length of the day it's midwinter.
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waiting4atickle
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Today is the first day of winter
And I've got quite a nasty splinter
Speaking for myself
I'd call it a skelf
By the length of the day it's midwinter.


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But I doubt it will make any sense.

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Caro

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I'd write a lot more
-----------------
But I doubt it will make any sense.
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dai Cottomy
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--------------------------------
I'd write a lot more
Although it's a bore
But I doubt it will make any sense.
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waiting4atickle
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I don't wish to give any offence
--------------------------------
I'd write a lot more
Although it's a bore
But I doubt it will make any sense.

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dai Cottomy
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I don't wish to give any offence
Or to appear unusually dense
I'd write a lot more
Although it's a bore
But I doubt it will make any sense.


To have good health is a blessimg


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waiting4atickle
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To have good health is a blessimg
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Such things can be really depressing.

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dai Cottomy
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To have good health is a blessimg
To be ill is really distressing
----------------------
----------------------
Such things can be really depressing.
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Caro

To have good health is a blessimg
To be ill is really distressing
It's no fun to be sick
----------------------
Such things can be really depressing.
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dai Cottomy
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To have good health is a blessimg
To be ill is really distressing
It's no fun to be sick
Or suffer joints that crick
Such things can be really depressing.

A plastic surgeon from Delhi




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Douglas
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A plastic surgeon from Delhi
Had a young patient called Nelly
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---------------------------------
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dai Cottomy
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A plastic surgeon from Delhi
Had a young patient called Nelly
--------------------
--------------------
Which gave her a pain in her belly
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Caro

A plastic surgeon from Delhi
Had a young patient called Nelly
He made a mistake
--------------------
Which gave her a pain in her belly
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Douglas
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A plastic surgeon from Delhi
Had a young patient called Nelly
He made a mistake
Then fed her some steak
Which gave her a pain in her belly

The US has voted for Trump
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Caro

The US has voted for Trump
Don't remind me - I've still got the hump
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-------------------------------
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Mobson
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The US has voted for Trump
Don't remind me - I've still got the hump
The US is doomed!
..........................
........................................................
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Douglas
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The US has voted for Trump
Don't remind me - I've still got the hump
The US is doomed!
..........................
Then we'll all come down with a bump.
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dai Cottomy
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The US has voted for Trump
Don't remind me - I've still got the hump
The US is doomed!
Liberty subsumed
Then we'll all come down with a bump


On the other hand, things could get better
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Edited by dai Cottomy, Feb 11 2017, 12:03 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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On the other hand, things could get better
---------------------------------------------
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So let's write our MP a letter.

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dai Cottomy
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On the other hand, things could get better
Unless Mr. Trump runs amok without fetter
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--------------------------
So let's write our MP a letter.
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Douglas
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On the other hand, things could get better
Unless Mr. Trump runs amok without fetter
Well he's doing it now
--------------------------
So let's write our MP a letter.
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dai Cottomy
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On the other hand, things could get better
Unless Mr. Trump runs amok without fetter
Well he's doing it now
But doesn't know how
So let's write our MP a letter.

Identical twins from Kildare
Edited by dai Cottomy, Feb 19 2017, 08:39 PM.
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Douglas
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Identical twins from Kildare
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Their parents had one to spare
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dai Cottomy
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Identical twins from Kildare
Were so ugly, people would stare
----------------------
----------------------
Their parents had one to spare
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dai Cottomy
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Identical twins from Kildare
Were so ugly, people would stare
One was sent away
----------------------
Their parents had one to spare
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Douglas
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Identical twins from Kildare
Were so ugly, people would stare
One was sent away
And no one said nay
Their parents had one to spare

There was a young lassie called Mary
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waiting4atickle
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There was a young lassie called Mary
Who fell in love with a fairy
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dai Cottomy
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There was a young lassie called Mary
Who fell in love with a fairy
--------------------------------
--------------------------------
She was so bloomin' contrary
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Douglas
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There was a young lassie called Mary
Who fell in love with a fairy
And next with an elf
--------------------------------
She was so bloomin' contrary
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dai Cottomy
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There was a young lassie called Mary
Who fell in love with a fairy
And next with an elf
She couldn't help herself
She was so bloomin' contrary

There was once a surgeon called Miles
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waiting4atickle
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There was once a surgeon called Miles
Who developed a bad case of piles

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Douglas
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There was once a surgeon called Miles
Who developed a bad case of piles
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Effected a cure
-----------------------------------------
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