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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,603 Views) | |
| dai Cottomy | Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM Post #1 |
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792 It's awful, the lies that we tell And maybe we'll all go to Hell So always tell the Truth |
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| Caro | Mar 5 2017, 10:57 PM Post #2301 |
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There was once a surgeon called Miles Who developed a bad case of piles ----------------- Effected a cure Which filled the practitioner's files. |
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| Douglas | Mar 6 2017, 12:44 AM Post #2302 |
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There was once a surgeon called Miles Who developed a bad case of piles A colleague, McClure, Effected a cure Which filled the practitioner's files. There was a young fellow from Kent --------------------------------------- ------------------------------ ------------------------------ --------------------------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | Mar 6 2017, 02:14 AM Post #2303 |
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There was a young fellow from Kent --------------------------------------- ------------------------------ ------------------------------ But, alas, all the money was spent. |
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| Caro | Mar 6 2017, 05:23 AM Post #2304 |
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There was a young fellow from Kent --------------------------------------- He found his old purse ------------------------------ But, alas, all the money was spent. |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 6 2017, 11:03 AM Post #2305 |
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There was a young fellow from Kent Who had problems paying his rent He found his old purse ------------------------------ But, alas, all the money was spent. |
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| Douglas | Mar 6 2017, 01:01 PM Post #2306 |
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There was a young fellow from Kent Who had problems paying his rent He found his old purse, A gift from his nurse, But, alas, all the money was spent. There was an old fellow called Fred --------------------------------------- ------------------------------- ------------------------------- --------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 7 2017, 02:35 AM Post #2307 |
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There was an old fellow called Fred Whose weakness was smoking in bed ------------------------------- ------------------------------- --------------------------------------- |
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| Caro | Mar 7 2017, 03:43 AM Post #2308 |
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There was an old fellow called Fred Whose weakness was smoking in bed ------------------------------- It went up in flames --------------------------------------- |
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| Douglas | Mar 7 2017, 11:18 AM Post #2309 |
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There was an old fellow called Fred Whose weakness was smoking in bed ------------------------------- It went up in flames And now the poor fellow is dead. |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 8 2017, 01:25 PM Post #2310 |
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There was an old fellow called Fred Whose weakness was smoking in bed While playing some games It went up in flames And now the poor fellow is dead. An elderly Rabbi called Sam |
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| waiting4atickle | Mar 8 2017, 04:13 PM Post #2311 |
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An elderly Rabbi called Sam ------------------------ ------------- ------------- And gave thanks to the great I AM. |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 8 2017, 10:33 PM Post #2312 |
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An elderly Rabbi called Sam Got told off for eating some spam ------------- ------------- And gave thanks to the great I AM. |
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| waiting4atickle | Mar 10 2017, 02:18 AM Post #2313 |
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An elderly Rabbi called Sam Got told off for eating some spam ------------- Then fried up some fritters And gave thanks to the great I AM. |
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| Douglas | Mar 11 2017, 05:14 PM Post #2314 |
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An elderly Rabbi called Sam Got told off for eating some spam He'd a fit of the jitters Then fried up some fritters And gave thanks to the great I AM. There was a young fellow from Dover ----------------------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------- ----------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 11 2017, 05:43 PM Post #2315 |
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There was a young fellow from Dover Who sported a yellow pullover -------------------------- -------------------------- ----------------------------------------- |
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| Douglas | Mar 13 2017, 11:29 PM Post #2316 |
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There was a young fellow from Dover Who sported a yellow pullover -------------------------- -------------------------- Pursued by a large dog called Rover. |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 18 2017, 03:53 AM Post #2317 |
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There was a young fellow from Dover Who sported a yellow pullover -------------------------- He went for a run Pursued by a large dog called Rover. |
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| Douglas | Mar 18 2017, 11:17 AM Post #2318 |
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There was a young fellow from Dover Who sported a yellow pullover At the rise of the sun He went for a run Pursued by a large dog called Rover. There was an old man from Rangoon ----------------------------------------- --------------------------------- --------------------------------- ----------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 18 2017, 03:26 PM Post #2319 |
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There was an old man from Rangoon Who took to his bed in the monsoon --------------------------------- --------------------------------- ----------------------------------------- |
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| Douglas | Mar 18 2017, 05:39 PM Post #2320 |
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There was an old man from Rangoon Who took to his bed in the monsoon When the river arose --------------------------------- ----------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 18 2017, 06:04 PM Post #2321 |
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There was an old man from Rangoon Who took to his bed in the monsoon When the river arose And reached to his nose ----------------------------------------- |
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| Mobson | Mar 21 2017, 02:31 AM Post #2322 |
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There was an old man from Rangoon Who took to his bed in the monsoon When the river arose And reached to his nose He was saved by a passing baboon |
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| Mobson | Mar 21 2017, 02:35 AM Post #2323 |
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.................................................. .................................................. To avoid the passing debris ...................................... .................................................. |
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| Caro | Apr 17 2017, 11:14 PM Post #2324 |
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.................................................. With such a big mess it was hard To avoid the passing debris ...................................... .................................................. Edited by Caro, Apr 17 2017, 11:15 PM.
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| dai Cottomy | Apr 18 2017, 02:45 PM Post #2325 |
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A bomb went off in my yard With such a big mess it was hard To avoid the passing debris ...................................... .................................................. |
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| Douglas | Apr 25 2017, 04:01 PM Post #2326 |
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A bomb went off in my yard With such a big mess it was hard To avoid the passing debris ...................................... You never must let up your guard. |
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| dai Cottomy | Apr 25 2017, 06:00 PM Post #2327 |
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I took the liberty in the interests of metrical pattern to edit line 3 A bomb went off in my yard With such a big mess it was hard To avoid the debris I think you'll agree You never must let up your guard. An ancient saggar maker from Stoke |
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| Douglas | Apr 26 2017, 11:27 PM Post #2328 |
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An ancient saggar maker from Stoke Was a really remarkable bloke ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Apr 27 2017, 03:49 PM Post #2329 |
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An ancient saggar maker from Stoke Was a really remarkable bloke When making a pot ------------------------------ ----------------------------------------- |
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| Douglas | Apr 27 2017, 06:29 PM Post #2330 |
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An ancient saggar maker from Stoke Was a really remarkable bloke When making a pot ------------------------------ He thought it a wonderful joke |
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| dai Cottomy | Apr 27 2017, 09:39 PM Post #2331 |
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An ancient saggar maker from Stoke Was a really remarkable bloke When making a pot He got very hot He thought it a wonderful joke There was a young lady named Rose ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------- ---------------------------- ---------------------------------------- Edited by dai Cottomy, Apr 27 2017, 09:42 PM.
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| waiting4atickle | Apr 28 2017, 12:12 AM Post #2332 |
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There was a young lady named Rose Who liked to remove all her clothes ---------------------------- ---------------------------- ---------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Apr 28 2017, 10:38 AM Post #2333 |
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There was a young lady named Rose Who liked to remove all her clothes ---------------------------- ---------------------------- And Adopted an Artistic Pose |
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| Douglas | Apr 28 2017, 11:23 AM Post #2334 |
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There was a young lady named Rose Who liked to remove all her clothes One day, for a lark ---------------------------- And Adopted an Artistic Pose |
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| dai Cottomy | Apr 28 2017, 04:05 PM Post #2335 |
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There was a young lady named Rose Who liked to remove all her clothes One day, for a lark She stripped in the park And adopted an artistic pose After a while, a crowd gathered there ----------------------------------------- ------------------------ ------------------------ ----------------------------------------- Edited by dai Cottomy, Apr 28 2017, 04:09 PM.
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| Douglas | May 4 2017, 11:50 PM Post #2336 |
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After a while, a crowd gathered there Amazed to see a figure so bare ------------------------ ------------------------ ----------------------------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | May 5 2017, 12:02 AM Post #2337 |
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After a while, a crowd gathered there Amazed to see a figure so bare A dog bared its teeth ------------------------ ----------------------------------------- |
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| Douglas | May 5 2017, 12:38 AM Post #2338 |
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After a while, a crowd gathered there Amazed to see a figure so bare A dog bared its teeth ------------------------ She escaped with a minute to spare. |
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| Caro | May 5 2017, 06:29 AM Post #2339 |
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After a while, a crowd gathered there Amazed to see a figure so bare A dog bared its teeth Showed urges beneath She escaped with a minute to spare. ---------------------------- ---------------------------- It flew like a bird -------------------- ---------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | May 5 2017, 01:00 PM Post #2340 |
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---------------------------- ---------------------------- It flew like a bird It looked quite absurd ---------------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | May 5 2017, 09:21 PM Post #2341 |
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---------------------------- ---------------------------- It flew like a bird It looked quite absurd When it landed in a gorse thicket. |
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| Caro | May 9 2017, 10:46 PM Post #2342 |
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---------------------------- I loved it when I could kick it It flew like a bird It looked quite absurd When it landed in a gorse thicket. |
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| waiting4atickle | May 9 2017, 11:55 PM Post #2343 |
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I once had a bear, you can't lick it I loved it when I could kick it It flew like a bird It looked quite absurd When it landed in a gorse thicket. The nurse said I shouldn't do that ------------------------------ ------------------- ------------------- ------------------------------ |
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| dai Cottomy | May 11 2017, 07:25 PM Post #2344 |
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The nurse said I shouldn't do that ------------------------------ ------------------- It wouldn't get better ------------------------------ |
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| Douglas | May 11 2017, 10:36 PM Post #2345 |
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The nurse said I shouldn't do that If I did I'd be sure to get fat ------------------- It wouldn't get better ------------------------------ |
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| waiting4atickle | May 12 2017, 12:18 AM Post #2346 |
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The nurse said I shouldn't do that If I did I'd be sure to get fat ------------------- It wouldn't get better Or if it did she'd eat her hat. |
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| dai Cottomy | May 12 2017, 01:29 AM Post #2347 |
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The nurse said I shouldn't do that If I did I'd be sure to get fat And if I let her It wouldn't get better Or if it did she'd eat her hat. ------------------------------- ------------------------------- -------------------- -------------------- They danced by the light of the moon |
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| Caro | May 12 2017, 02:07 AM Post #2348 |
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------------------------------- ------------------------------- -------------------- 'Twere dark, so with glee They danced by the light of the moon |
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| Douglas | May 12 2017, 11:33 AM Post #2349 |
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------------------------------- ------------------------------- They went down to the sea T'were dark, so with glee They danced by the light of the moon |
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| dai Cottomy | May 12 2017, 01:13 PM Post #2350 |
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------------------------------- Two lovers were humming a tune They went down to the sea T'were dark, so with glee They danced by the light of the moon |
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| Douglas | May 12 2017, 02:28 PM Post #2351 |
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On a fine summer evening in June Two lovers were humming a tune They went down to the sea T'were dark, so with glee They danced by the light of the moon. When out on the campaign trail ----------------------------------- --------------------- --------------------- ----------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | May 12 2017, 03:43 PM Post #2352 |
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When out on the campaign trail Be sure to take plenty of ale --------------------- --------------------- ----------------------------------- |
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| Caro | May 17 2017, 04:06 AM Post #2353 |
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When out on the campaign trail Be sure to take plenty of ale --------------------- And make some mistakes ----------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | May 17 2017, 12:22 PM Post #2354 |
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When out on the campaign trail Be sure to take plenty of ale --------------------- And make some mistakes Then apologise by email |
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| Caro | May 17 2017, 10:37 PM Post #2355 |
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When out on the campaign trail Be sure to take plenty of ale Trip over some rakes And make some mistakes Then apologise by email. ---------------------------- ---------------------------- --------------- --------------- If it goes then you don't need to fix it. |
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| dai Cottomy | May 18 2017, 12:15 PM Post #2356 |
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To make cement, you've got to mix it ---------------------------- --------------- --------------- If it goes then you don't need to fix it. |
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| waiting4atickle | May 18 2017, 09:47 PM Post #2357 |
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To make cement, you've got to mix it ---------------------------- --------------- But why take the trouble? If it goes then you don't need to fix it. |
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| Douglas | May 18 2017, 10:16 PM Post #2358 |
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To make cement, you've got to mix it ---------------------------- It may crumble to rubble But why take the trouble? If it goes then you don't need to fix it. |
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| dai Cottomy | May 19 2017, 11:47 PM Post #2359 |
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To make cement, you've got to mix it The foreman sticks in his finger and licks it It may crumble to rubble But why take the trouble? If it goes then you don't need to fix it. A fortune teller from Brighton |
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| Caro | May 19 2017, 11:58 PM Post #2360 |
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A fortune teller from Brighton --------------------------- He got some things wrong ------------------ --------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | May 20 2017, 11:30 AM Post #2361 |
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A fortune teller from Brighton Found it hard to sleep with the light on He got some things wrong ------------------ --------------------------- |
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| Douglas | May 20 2017, 11:32 AM Post #2362 |
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A fortune teller from Brighton --------------------------- He got some things wrong ------------------ And suddenly found he'd a fight on. |
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| dai Cottomy | May 20 2017, 11:44 AM Post #2363 |
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A fortune teller from Brighton Found it hard to sleep with the light on He got some things wrong He then heard the gong And suddenly found he'd a fight on Two pretty maids from Three Bridges Edited by dai Cottomy, May 20 2017, 11:47 AM.
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| Douglas | May 21 2017, 10:11 AM Post #2364 |
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Two pretty maids from Three Bridges Kept the oddest of things in their fridges ------------------------------- ------------------------------- --------------------------------------------- Edited by Douglas, May 21 2017, 10:12 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | May 22 2017, 12:31 PM Post #2365 |
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Two pretty maids from Three Bridges Kept the oddest of things in their fridges On the top rack ------------------------------- --------------------------------------------- |
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| Douglas | May 22 2017, 05:30 PM Post #2366 |
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Two pretty maids from Three Bridges Kept the oddest of things in their fridges On the top rack There's a packet of crack --------------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | May 23 2017, 12:08 AM Post #2367 |
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Two pretty maids from Three Bridges Kept the oddest of things in their fridges On the top rack There's a packet of crack And a plateful of sun dried midges A hedge fund accountant from Woking |
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| Douglas | May 23 2017, 10:30 AM Post #2368 |
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A hedge fund accountant from Woking ------------------------------------------ -------------------------- -------------------------- So he ended up with a soaking |
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| dai Cottomy | May 23 2017, 12:40 PM Post #2369 |
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A hedge fund accountant from Woking Whose doctor told him to stop smoking -------------------------- -------------------------- So he ended up with a soaking |
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| Douglas | Jun 9 2017, 06:04 PM Post #2370 |
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A hedge fund accountant from Woking Whose doctor told him to stop smoking -------------------------- He got caught in the rain So he ended up with a soaking |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 12 2017, 12:40 PM Post #2371 |
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A hedge fund accountant from Woking Whose doctor told him to stop smoking Strolling down the lane He got caught in the rain So he ended up with a soaking Nest day he woke up feeling ill |
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| Douglas | Jun 12 2017, 03:13 PM Post #2372 |
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Nest day he woke up feeling ill It was clear that he'd caught a chill --------------------------- --------------------------- -------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 13 2017, 03:43 PM Post #2373 |
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Next day he woke up feeling ill It was clear that he'd caught a chill He tried sweating it out --------------------------- -------------------------------------- Edited by dai Cottomy, Jun 13 2017, 03:46 PM.
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| Douglas | Jun 13 2017, 05:21 PM Post #2374 |
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Next day he woke up feeling ill It was clear that he'd caught a chill He tried sweating it out With whisky and stout -------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 13 2017, 09:50 PM Post #2375 |
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Next day he woke up feeling ill It was clear that he'd caught a chill He tried sweating it out With whisky and stout And said "I think I'll move to Brazil" An aged professor from Hove |
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| Douglas | Jun 13 2017, 11:53 PM Post #2376 |
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An aged professor from Hove Was cooking a stew on his stove |
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| waiting4atickle | Jun 14 2017, 09:28 PM Post #2377 |
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An aged professor from Hove Was cooking a stew on his stove ------------------- ------------------- But wished he'd not swallowed the clove. |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 15 2017, 12:34 PM Post #2378 |
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An aged professor from Hove Was cooking a stew on his stove He gave it a stir ------------------- But wished he'd not swallowed the clove. |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 25 2017, 03:44 AM Post #2379 |
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An aged professor from Hove Was cooking a stew on his stove He gave it a stir And scraped off the fur But wished he'd not swallowed the clove. |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 25 2017, 03:58 AM Post #2380 |
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A would-be magician from Ealing ------------------------------------ --------------------- --------------------- ----------------------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | Jun 25 2017, 05:51 PM Post #2381 |
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A would-be magician from Ealing Was prosecuted for stealing --------------------- --------------------- ----------------------------------- |
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| Douglas | Jun 25 2017, 08:27 PM Post #2382 |
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A would-be magician from Ealing Was prosecuted for stealing --------------------- --------------------- So his counsel now is appealing. |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 26 2017, 12:18 PM Post #2383 |
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A would-be magician from Ealing Was prosecuted for stealing --------------------- From a reluctant miss So his counsel now is appealing. |
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| Douglas | Jun 28 2017, 06:14 PM Post #2384 |
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A would-be magician from Ealing Was prosecuted for stealing An unwelcome kiss From a reluctant miss So his counsel now is appealing. A dashing young fellow from Coniston ------------------------------------------ ---------------------------- ---------------------------- ------------------------------------------ |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 30 2017, 12:33 PM Post #2385 |
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A dashing young fellow from Coniston Was known by his friends as 'Honest John' ---------------------------- ---------------------------- ------------------------------------------ |
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| Douglas | Jul 2 2017, 12:03 PM Post #2386 |
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A dashing young fellow from Coniston Was known by his friends as 'Honest John' ---------------------------- ---------------------------- And so in the end he was sat upon. |
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| dai Cottomy | Jul 2 2017, 02:05 PM Post #2387 |
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A dashing young fellow from Coniston Was known by his friends as 'Honest John' ---------------------------- He'd sooner die And so in the end he was sat upon. |
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| dai Cottomy | Jul 8 2017, 02:43 PM Post #2388 |
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A dashing young fellow from Coniston Was known by his friends as 'Honest John' Rather than lie He'd sooner die And so in the end he was sat upon. A minicab driver from Deal |
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| Douglas | Jul 8 2017, 04:28 PM Post #2389 |
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A minicab driver from Deal Was found to be drunk at the wheel -------------------- -------------------- ------------------------------ |
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| waiting4atickle | Jul 17 2017, 11:23 PM Post #2390 |
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A minicab driver from Deal Was found to be drunk at the wheel -------------------- -------------------- But he got it back on appeal. |
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| Mobson | Jul 23 2017, 07:18 AM Post #2391 |
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A minicab driver from Deal Was found to be drunk at the wheel His Licence revoked -------------------- But he got it back on appeal. Edited by Mobson, Jul 23 2017, 07:19 AM.
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| Caro | Aug 5 2017, 05:35 AM Post #2392 |
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A minicab driver from Deal Was found to be drunk at the wheel His licence revoked "I'm stuffed," he then joked But he got it back on appeal. ---------------------------- ---------------------------- She then did a bunk ----------------- ---------------------------- |
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| Douglas | Aug 5 2017, 11:17 AM Post #2393 |
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---------------------------- ---------------------------- She then did a bunk With the loot in her trunk ---------------------------- |
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| Mobson | Aug 5 2017, 11:59 PM Post #2394 |
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Mona worked as a getaway driver ---------------------------- She then did a bunk With the loot in her trunk ---------------------------- |
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| Douglas | Aug 6 2017, 12:31 AM Post #2395 |
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Mona worked as a getaway driver ---------------------------- She then did a bunk With the loot in her trunk But, alas, it was worth only a fiver. |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 6 2017, 12:57 PM Post #2396 |
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Mona worked as a getaway driver It made her feel more aliver She then did a bunk With the loot in her trunk But, alas, it was worth only a fiver. Before that, she drove two ton trucks ------------------------------------------ ---------------------------- ---------------------------- ------------------------------------------ Edited by dai Cottomy, Aug 6 2017, 01:09 PM.
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| Mobson | Aug 6 2017, 01:28 PM Post #2397 |
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Before that, she drove two-ton trucks For which she earned megabucks ---------------------------- ---------------------------- ------------------------------------------ |
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| Douglas | Aug 6 2017, 08:19 PM Post #2398 |
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Before that, she drove two-ton trucks For which she earned megabucks ---------------------------- ---------------------------- To which she responded "It sucks!" |
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| Mobson | Aug 18 2017, 04:47 AM Post #2399 |
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Before that, she drove two-ton trucks For which she earned megabucks On her quest to find love ---------------------------- To which she responded "It sucks!" Edited by Mobson, Aug 18 2017, 05:03 AM.
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| Caro | Aug 26 2017, 06:38 AM Post #2400 |
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Before that, she drove two-ton trucks For which she earned megabucks On her quest to find love A chap passed on a fine glove To which she responded "It sucks!" There was a young boy, name of Jack ---------------------------------- ----------------------- ----------------------- ---------------------------------- |
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7:03 AM Jul 13