Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Add Reply
any line is available
Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,602 Views)
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792



It's awful, the lies that we tell
And maybe we'll all go to Hell
So always tell the Truth
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Replies:
Mobson
Member Avatar

There was a young boy, name of Jack
----------------------------------
-----------------------
-----------------------
Then he became a newspaper hack

Edited by Mobson, Aug 28 2017, 04:53 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

There was a young boy, name of Jack
Whose mother was taken aback
-----------------------
-----------------------
Then he became a newspaper hack
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There was a young boy, name of Jack
Whose mother was taken aback
When he said "I'm gay"
-----------------------
Then he became a newspaper hack
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

There was a young boy, name of Jack
Whose mother was taken aback
When he said "I'm gay"
Left home right away
Then he became a newspaper hack
Edited by Mobson, Aug 31 2017, 10:37 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

It feels like the last day of Summer
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

It feels like the last day of Summer
---------------------------------------
---------------------------
---------------------------
I'll have to send for a plumber
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

It feels like the last day of Summer
In Texas it's been a real bummer
---------------------------
---------------------------
I'll have to send for a plumber
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

It feels like the last day of Summer
In Texas it's been a real bummer
All the water pipes burst
---------------------------
I'll have to send for a plumber
Edited by Mobson, Sep 3 2017, 05:33 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

It feels like the last day of Summer
In Texas it's been a real bummer
All the water pipes burst
But that is my worst
I'll have to send for a plumber.

Have I landed in a parallel world ? Nobody else seems to have posted for some days.

It seems that there's nobody here
--------------------------------------
------------------------------
------------------------------
--------------------------------------
Edited by Douglas, Sep 6 2017, 05:15 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

It seems that there's nobody here
They're all out having a beer
------------------------------
------------------------------
--------------------------------------
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


It seems that there's nobody here
They're all out having a beer
------------------------------
------------------------------
They'll be back when the coast is clear.

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

It seems that there's nobody here
They're all out having a beer
They're all lying low
------------------------------
They'll be back when the coast is clear.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

It seems that there's nobody here
They're all out having a beer
They're all lying low
In a peaceful grotto
They'll be back when the coast is clear.


Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A gentleman farmer from Fife
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

A gentleman farmer from Fife
Had a very fastidious wife
-----------------
-----------------
---------------------------------
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A gentleman farmer from Fife
Had a very fastidious wife
-----------------
She told him he smelt
---------------------------------
Edited by dai Cottomy, Sep 20 2017, 12:22 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

A gentleman farmer from Fife
Had a very fastidious wife.
When he undid his belt
She told him he smelt
---------------------------------
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A gentleman farmer from Fife
Had a very fastidious wife.
When he undid his belt
She told him he smelt
Which led to a period of strife
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There once was a burglar called Sam
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

There once was a burglar called Sam
-----------------------------------------
---------------------------------
---------------------------------
He answered "I don't give a damn".
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There once was a burglar called Sam
Who was partial to platefuls of Spam
---------------------------------
---------------------------------
He answered "I don't give a damn".
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

here once was a burglar called Sam
Who was partial to platefuls of Spam
---------------------------------
When told that was bad
He answered "I don't give a damn".
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

There once was a burglar called Sam
Who was partial to platefuls of Spam
'Cos it made him less sad
When told that was bad
He answered "I don't give a damn".
Edited by Mobson, Oct 4 2017, 03:20 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

It's political party conference time
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

It's political party conference time
The anapæst meter's less than sublime
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

It's political party conference time
The anapæst meter's less than sublime
-----------------------------------
-----------------------------------
At least we can end with a rhyme.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

It's political party conference time
The anapæst meter's less than sublime
T'was ever thus
What's all the fuss
At least we can end with a rhyme.




To complete this, I couldn't resist

Edited by Mobson, Oct 6 2017, 02:33 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

To complete this, I couldn't resist
'Twas a prospect not to be missed
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

To complete this, I couldn't resist
'Twas a prospect not to be missed
-----------------------------
-----------------------------
Though everyone's shouting "Desist!"
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

To complete this, I couldn't resist
'Twas a prospect not to be missed
I must have my say
-----------------------------
Though everyone's shouting "Desist!"
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

To complete this, I couldn't resist
'Twas a prospect not to be missed
I must have my say
I suppose that's O.K
Though everyone's shouting "Desist!"
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

I once had a donkey named Roger
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

I once had a donkey named Roger
--------------------------------------
-------------------------
-------------------------
So I sold him off to the lodger.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

I once had a donkey named Roger
As devious as an artful dodger
-------------------------
-------------------------
So I sold him off to the lodger.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

I once had a donkey named Roger
As devious as an artful dodger
He wouldn't heed a word of mine
-------------------------
So I sold him off to the lodger.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

I once had a donkey named Roger
As devious as an artful dodger
He wouldn't heed a word of mine
Then he began to pine
So I sold him off to the lodger.
Edited by Mobson, Oct 28 2017, 11:15 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Remember, remember, the 5th of November
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

Remember, remember, the 5th of November
------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
He was hit on the head by an ember.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Remember, remember, the 5th of November
More fun than that stuff in December
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
He was hit on the head by an ember.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


Remember, remember, the 5th of November
More fun than that stuff in December
It goes with a bang
----------------------------------
He was hit on the head by an ember.

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Remember, remember, the 5th of November
More fun than that stuff in December
It goes with a bang
Guy Fawkes didn't hang
He was hit on the head by an ember.
Edited by dai Cottomy, Nov 2 2017, 11:03 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

In winter the days get much shorter
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

In winter the days get much shorter
I eat much more than I oughta
------------------------------
------------------------------
----------------------------------------
Edited by dai Cottomy, Nov 7 2017, 12:24 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


In winter the days get much shorter
I eat much more than I oughta
------------------------------
------------------------------
Just wait and see what Santa's brought ya.

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

In winter the days get much shorter
I eat much more than I oughta
------------------------------
Beneath the mistletoe
Just wait and see what Santa's brought ya.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

In winter the days get much shorter
I eat much more than I oughta
Having a jolly Ho-Ho
Beneath the mistletoe
Just wait and see what Santa's brought ya
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

When Harry proposed marriage to Meghan
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

When Harry proposed marriage to Meghan
---------------------------------------
She said "Yes please sir"
------------------------
---------------------------------------
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

When Harry proposed marriage to Meghan
---------------------------------------
She said "Yes please sir"
And made his heart stir
---------------------------------------
Edited by Mobson, Dec 4 2017, 02:38 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


When Harry proposed marriage to Meghan
In a cottage somewhere in Devon
She said "Yes please sir"
And made his heart stir
---------------------------------------

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

When Harry proposed marriage to Meghan
In a cottage somewhere in Devon
She said "Yes please sir"
And made his heart stir
And sent his soul straight to heaven
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

...........................................
Her mind felt like a tea strainer
.............
.............
............................................
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


...........................................
Her mind felt like a tea strainer
.............
.............
But it really was a no-brainer.

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

When she went to a lifestyle trainer
Her mind felt like a tea strainer
.............
.............
But it really was a no-brainer.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar


When she went to a lifestyle trainer
Her mind felt like a tea strainer
She fell for his pecs
-----------------------
But it really was a no-brainer.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

When she went to a lifestyle trainer
Her mind felt like a tea strainer
She fell for his pecs
As well as his specs
But it really was a no-brainer.

A comely young wench name of Hannah
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A comely young wench name of Hannah
had an unfortunate manner
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


A comely young wench name of Hannah
Who had an unfortunate manner
---------------
---------------
With a tune on the ol' joanna.


Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A comely young wench name of Hannah
Who had an unfortunate manner
Her withering glance
---------------
With a tune on the ol' joanna.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

A comely young wench name of Hannah
Who had an unfortunate manner
Her withering glance
Put men in a trance
With a tune on the ol' joanna.


-----------------------------------
-----------------------------------
I loved it to bits
--------------------
-----------------------------------
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

I once had a tortoise called Speedy
-----------------------------------
I loved it to bits
--------------------
-----------------------------------

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


I once had a tortoise called Speedy
As pets go, it wan't too needy
I loved it to bits
--------------------
-----------------------------------
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

I once had a tortoise called Speedy
As pets go, it wan't too needy
I loved it to bits
--------------------
By its nature of being so greedy
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

I once had a tortoise called Speedy
As pets go, it wan't too needy
I loved it to bits
It was subject to fits
By its nature of being so greedy


A debt collector named Screwell


Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A debt collector named Screwell
------------------------------------
-------------------------
-------------------------
------------------------------------
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

A debt collector named Screwell
Only called on people he knew well
-------------------------
-------------------------
------------------------------------
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A debt collector named Screwell
Only called on people he knew well
-------------------------
-------------------------
She said::"ooh! you're awfullu cruel"
Edited by dai Cottomy, Jan 30 2018, 05:38 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A debt collector named Screwell
Only called on people he knew well
Like Ma Potts, old and bent
-------------------------
She said::"ooh! you're awfullu cruel"
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

A debt collector named Screwell
Only called on people he knew well
Like Ma Potts, old and bent
With her fortune all spent
She said::"ooh! you're awfullu cruel"
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Nice one!

Screwell must die said Ma Potts
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Screwell must die said Ma Potts
"Agreed" we all said and drew lots
-----------------------
-----------------------
--------------------------------------
Edited by dai Cottomy, Feb 1 2018, 02:04 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

Screwell must die said Ma Potts
"Agreed" we all said and drew lots
-----------------------
-----------------------
But it was Screwell who called the shots.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


Screwell must die said Ma Potts
"Agreed" we all said and drew lots
For the chance to spill blood
-----------------------
But it was Screwell who called the shots.

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Screwell must die said Ma Potts
"Agreed" we all said and drew lots
For the chance to spill blood
All over the mud
But it was Screwell who called the shots.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A handsome young chap from Nuneaton
-----------------------------------------
-----------------------------
-----------------------------
-----------------------------------------
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

A handsome young chap from Nuneaton
-----------------------------------------
-----------------------------
-----------------------------
Before he realised he was indubitably beaten
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A handsome young chap from Nuneaton
Was expelled for arson from Eton
-----------------------------
-----------------------------
Before he realised he was indubitably beaten
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

A handsome young chap from Nuneaton
Was expelled for arson from Eton
He denied culpability
-----------------------------
Before he realised he was indubitably beaten
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A handsome young chap from Nuneaton
Was expelled for arson from Eton
He denied culpability
despite probability
Before he realised he was indubitably beaten
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A jolly old fellow from Rhyl
------------------------------
----------------------
----------------------
------------------------------
Edited by dai Cottomy, Feb 25 2018, 04:35 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

A jolly old fellow from Rhyl
------------------------------
----------------------
----------------------
Living in Cardiff with Phil
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar


A jolly old fellow from Rhyl
Was hooked on the little blue pill
----------------------
----------------------
Living in Cardiff with Phil
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

A jolly old fellow from Rhyl
Was hooked on the little blue pill
Not finding a wife
----------------------
Living in Cardiff with Phil
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


A jolly old fellow from Rhyl
Was hooked on the little blue pill
Not finding a wife
He spent most of his life
Living in Cardiff with Phi

(Good set up, Mobs.)


A bonny wee lass from Dundee
----------------------------
--------------------
--------------------
----------------------------

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Thanks Ticks <seeya>


A bonny wee lass from Dundee
----------------------------
--------------------
--------------------
On a massive spending spree
Edited by Mobson, Feb 27 2018, 04:50 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

A bonny wee lass from Dundee
Was researching her family tree
--------------------
--------------------
On a massive spending spree
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


A bonny wee lass from Dundee
Was researching her family tree
--------------------
And decided to go
On a massive spending spree

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

A bonny wee lass from Dundee
Was researching her family tree
Got stuck on a row
And decided to go
On a massive spending spree.

---------------------------------
---------------------------------
He wept and he wailed
------------------
---------------------------------
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

---------------------------------
---------------------------------
He wept and he wailed
And realised he'd failed
---------------------------------
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

There was a young man from Dumfries
---------------------------------
He wept and he wailed
And realised he'd failed
---------------------------------
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


There was a young man from Dumfries
---------------------------------
He wept and he wailed
And realised he'd failed
To renew his annual lease.

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There was a young man from Dumfries
Who filled his house with wild geese
He wept and he wailed
And realised he'd failed
To renew his annual lease.



A flighty young woman from Ghent
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

A flighty young woman from Ghent
--------------------------------------
--------------------------
--------------------------
And left her with much to repent.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A flighty young woman from Ghent
Had problems paying her rent
--------------------------
--------------------------
And left her with much to repent.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


A flighty young woman from Ghent
Had problems paying her rent
The Landlord came round
--------------------------
And left her with much to repent.

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

A flighty young woman from Ghent
Had problems paying her rent
The Landlord came round
Proclaimed her tenancy unsound
And left her with much to repent.



..............................................
She was handed a Notice to Quit
............
............
...............................................
Edited by Mobson, Mar 4 2018, 12:16 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

..............................................
She was handed a Notice to Quit
............
............
She decided to do a moonlight flit
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


The landlord was a horrible git
She was handed a Notice to Quit
............
............
She decided to do a moonlight flit

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

The landlord was a horrible git
She was handed a Notice to Quit
............
in a fit of pique
She decided on a moonlight flit
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


The landlord was a horrible git
She was handed a Notice to Quit
Although not unique
in a fit of pique
She decided on a moonlight flit


----------------------
----------------------
-------------
-------------
But the snowman had melted away.

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · Mornington Crescent · Next Topic »
Add Reply