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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,601 Views)
dai Cottomy
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792



It's awful, the lies that we tell
And maybe we'll all go to Hell
So always tell the Truth
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Mobson
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The kids wanted to get out to play
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But the snowman had melted away.
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waiting4atickle
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The kids wanted to get out to play
For snow had been falling all day
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-------------
But the snowman had melted away.

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dai Cottomy
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The kids wanted to get out to play
For snow had been falling all day
Then the Sun came out
-------------
But the snowman had melted away.
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waiting4atickle
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The kids wanted to get out to play
For snow had been falling all day
Then the Sun came out
And "Hooray" they did shout
But the snowman had melted away.


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He said, "Let's build a wall"
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Mobson
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---------------------------
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He said, "Let's build a wall"
He said, "Let's build it tall"
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Douglas
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---------------------------
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He said, "Let's build a wall"
He said, "Let's build it tall"
Did ever you see such a chump?
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Mobson
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There once was a bossman called Trump
---------------------------
He said, "Let's build a wall"
He said, "Let's build it tall"
Did ever you see such a chump?
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Douglas
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There once was a bossman called Trump
He blustered when out on the stump
He said, "Let's build a wall"
He said, "Let's build it tall"
Did ever you see such a chump?

The papers are all full of Brexit
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dai Cottomy
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The papers are all full of Brexit
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Whatever May says, Barnier wrecks it
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Mobson
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The papers are all full of Brexit
Especially as we didn't expect it
--------------------------
--------------------------
Whatever May says, Barnier wrecks it
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waiting4atickle
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The papers are all full of Brexit
Especially as we didn't expect it
The masses know best
--------------------------
Whatever May says, Barnier wrecks it

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Mobson
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The papers are all full of Brexit
Especially as we didn't expect it
The masses know best
But what of the rest
Whatever May says, Barnier wrecks it
Edited by Mobson, Mar 10 2018, 09:16 PM.
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Mobson
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...............................................
...............................................
She refused to cave in
............................
...............................................
Edited by Mobson, Mar 11 2018, 02:50 PM.
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Caro

---------------------------------
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She refused to cave in
-------------------------
And the others were forced to resign.
Edited by Caro, Mar 12 2018, 03:24 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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In the sand she drew a red line
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She refused to cave in
-------------------------
And the others were forced to resign.

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Mobson
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In the sand she drew a red line
----------------------------------
She refused to cave in
She determined to win
And the others were forced to resign.
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dai Cottomy
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In the sand she drew a red line
Everyone said yes that's real fine
She refused to cave in
She determined to win
And the others were forced to resign.

She woke up to find it was a dream
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Douglas
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She woke up to find it was a dream
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So she sacked the rest of the team.
Edited by Douglas, Mar 13 2018, 04:21 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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She woke up to find it was a dream
And she'd lost ev'ry scrap of esteem
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So she sacked the rest of the team.

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Mobson
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She woke up to find it was a dream
And she'd lost ev'ry scrap of esteem
Yet her gander was up
-------------------------------
So she sacked the rest of the team.
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Caro

She woke up to find it was a dream
And she'd lost ev'ry scrap of esteem
Yet her gander was up
They gave wine in a cup
So she sacked the rest of the team.

That odd little bird, the cuckoo
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dai Cottomy
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That odd little bird, the cuckoo
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In August they bid us adieu
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waiting4atickle
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That odd little bird, the cuckoo
Flies here from south of Timbuktu
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------------------
In August they bid us adieu

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dai Cottomy
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That odd little bird, the cuckoo
Flies here from south of Timbuktu
They squat in a nest
------------------
In August they bid us adieu
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waiting4atickle
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That odd little bird, the cuckoo
Flies here from south of Timbuktu
They squat in a nest
Leave an unwelcome guest
In August they bid us adieu


------------------------
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But the fireman's hose
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Mobson
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------------------------
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But the fireman's hose
Was 'in a state of repose'
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Douglas
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------------------------
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But the fireman's hose
Was 'in a state of repose'
Which did nothing to dampen her ardour.
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Mobson
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When Doug's fire truck raced to the harbour
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But the fireman's hose
Was 'in a state of repose'
Which did nothing to dampen her ardour.
Edited by Mobson, Apr 2 2018, 04:53 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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When Doug's fire truck raced to the harbour
Young Lizzie cried, "Please do it harder."
But the fireman's hose
Was 'in a state of repose'
Which did nothing to dampen her ardour.


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And fell on the floor in a heap.

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Mobson
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................................................
Whilst Radiohead sang I'm a Creep
.....................
.....................
And fell on the floor in a heap.
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waiting4atickle
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The old man was falling asleep
Whilst Radiohead sang I'm a Creep
.....................
.....................
And fell on the floor in a heap.

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dai Cottomy
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The old man was falling asleep
Whilst Radiohead sang I'm a Creep
He awoke with a start
.....................
And fell on the floor in a heap.
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Mobson
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The old man was falling asleep
Whilst Radiohead sang I'm a Creep
He awoke with a start
Emitted a huge fart
And fell on the floor in a heap.
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Mobson
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..........................................
When found by his carer
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Douglas
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Mobson
Apr 8 2018, 11:52 AM
The old man was falling asleep
Whilst Radiohead sang I'm a Creep
He awoke with a start
Emitted a huge fart
And fell on the floor in a heap.
I've been waiting to see who would rise to dai's bait.
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Mobson
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Ha ha ~ it's only what old men do...I'm reliably informed!!! <laugh>
Edited by Mobson, Apr 8 2018, 06:28 PM.
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Douglas
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Mobson
Apr 8 2018, 06:27 PM
Ha ha ~ it's only what old men do...I'm reliably informed!!! <laugh>
Don't you believe it !!!
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waiting4atickle
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..........................................
..........................................
When found by his carer
An old seafarer
..........................................

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Douglas
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..........................................
Who, one night, fell out of his bed
When found by his carer
An old seafarer
..........................................
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waiting4atickle
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There was an old man from Gateshead
Who, one night, fell out of his bed
When found by his carer
An old seafarer
..........................................

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Rikiiboy
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I'm a good cook, so my friends say
The ones who've survived anyway
They still come back for more
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waiting4atickle
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You time travelling again, Rikii?

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Mobson
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Haiku? haiku? <whistles>
Edited by Mobson, Apr 10 2018, 07:29 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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back to #2540


There was an old man from Gateshead
Who, one night, fell out of his bed
When found by his carer
An old seafarer
Cried ".bejesus I thought u wuz dead"


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dai Cottomy
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A buxom young barmaid from Stroud
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Edited by dai Cottomy, Apr 17 2018, 02:32 AM.
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Douglas
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A buxom young barmaid from Stroud
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---------------------------------
All said that she'd done herself proud.
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waiting4atickle
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A buxom young barmaid from Stroud
Who disliked being so well endowed
---------------------------------
---------------------------------
All said that she'd done herself proud.

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Mobson
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A buxom young barmaid from Stroud
Who disliked being so well endowed
An op for reduction
---------------------------------
All said that she'd done herself proud.
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dai Cottomy
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A buxom young barmaid from Stroud
Who disliked being so well endowed
An op for reduction
Which involved suction
All said that she'd done herself proud.

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dai Cottomy
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An itinerant plumber from Staines
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Edited by dai Cottomy, Apr 19 2018, 07:31 PM.
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Mobson
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An itinerant plumber from Staines
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Which blew a mighty hole in the Mains
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dai Cottomy
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An itinerant plumber from Staines
Was a dab hand at unblocking drains
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-------------------------
Which blew a mighty hole in the Mains
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waiting4atickle
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An itinerant plumber from Staines
Was a dab hand at unblocking drains
-------------------------
He used dynamite
Which blew a mighty hole in the Mains



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Douglas
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An itinerant plumber from Staines
Was a dab hand at unblocking drains
When the blockage was tight
He used dynamite
Which blew a mighty hole in the Mains

There was a young fellow from Kent
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Mobson
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There was a young fellow from Kent
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Causing trouble wheresoever he went
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Douglas
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There was a young fellow from Kent
With his life he was never content
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----------------------------
Causing trouble wheresoever he went
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waiting4atickle
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There was a young fellow from Kent
With his life he was never content
From Dartford to Dover
----------------------------
Causing trouble wheresoever he went
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Douglas
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There was a young fellow from Kent
With his life he was never content
From Dartford to Dover
He played the wild rover
Causing trouble wheresoever he went

A minister's son from Dundee
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Mobson
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A minister's son from Dundee
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Choked on a bun for his tea
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dai Cottomy
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A minister's son from Dundee
Decided to go on a spree
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-----------------
Choked on a bun for his tea
Edited by dai Cottomy, Apr 24 2018, 01:25 AM.
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Mobson
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A minister's son from Dundee
Decided to go on a spree
Before he went
-----------------
He choked on a bun for his tea
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Caro

A minister's son from Dundee
Decided to go on a spree
Before he went
A dodgy throat meant
He choked on a bun for his tea.

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It was a large hole
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Mobson
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-----------------------------------
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It was a large hole
Dug by a tiny mole
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Edited by Mobson, May 7 2018, 08:50 AM.
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Douglas
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-----------------------------------
What they found to their utter dismay
It was a large hole
Dug by a tiny mole
-----------------------------------
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Mobson
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Janet and John went to the garden to play
What they found to their utter dismay
It was a large hole
Dug by a tiny mole
-----------------------------------
Edited by Mobson, May 7 2018, 12:56 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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Janet and John went to the garden to play
What they found to their utter dismay
It was a large hole
Dug by a tiny mole
Which concluded their play for the day




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dai Cottomy
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The once was a locksmith named Grout
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Edited by dai Cottomy, May 10 2018, 03:53 PM.
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Mobson
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The once was a locksmith named Grout
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No surprise that he locked himself out!
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Douglas
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The once was a locksmith named Grout
Who was gravely addicted to stout
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----------------------------
No surprise that he locked himself out!
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Caro

The once was a locksmith named Grout
Who was gravely addicted to stout
----------------------------
He hardly could walk
No surprise that he locked himself out!
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dai Cottomy
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The once was a locksmith named Grout
Who was gravely addicted to stout
Unable to talk
He hardly could walk
No surprise that he locked himself out!

A pretty young gal called Matilda
Edited by dai Cottomy, May 12 2018, 07:57 PM.
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Douglas
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A pretty young gal called Matilda
Set off on a cruise to St. Kilda
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dai Cottomy
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A pretty young gal called Matilda
Set off on a cruise to St. Kilda
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The explosion nearly killed 'er
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Douglas
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A pretty young gal called Matilda
Set off on a cruise to St. Kilda
--------------------
The ship hit a mine
The explosion nearly killed 'er
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dai Cottomy
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A pretty young gal called Matilda
Set off on a cruise to St. Kilda
At a quarter to nine
The ship hit a mine
The explosion nearly killed 'er
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Mobson
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Waiting on Dai! <whistles>
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dai Cottomy
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A gentleman tailor from Peckham
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Mobson
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A gentleman tailor from Peckham
Short of customers thought how to get 'em
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Douglas
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A gentleman tailor from Peckham
Short of customers thought how to get 'em
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------------------------------
He decided 'twas best to forget 'em
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Mobson
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A gentleman tailor from Peckham
Short of customers thought how to get 'em
He struggled to think
------------------------------
He decided 'twas best to forget 'em
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dai Cottomy
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A gentleman tailor from Peckham
Short of customers thought how to get 'em
He struggled to think
"Should I dress 'em in pink?"
He decided 'twas best to forget 'em

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dai Cottomy
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A jolly young sailor called Joe
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Douglas
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A jolly young sailor called Joe
Thinking his life was too slow
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dai Cottomy
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A jolly young sailor called Joe
Thinking his life was too slow
Bought a speed boat
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---------------------------------
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Douglas
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A jolly young sailor called Joe
Thinking his life was too slow
Bought a speed boat
Couldn't keep iot afloat
---------------------------------
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Mobson
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A jolly young sailor called Joe
Thinking his life was too slow
Bought a speed boat
Couldn't keep it afloat
Ending up in the deep depths below
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Mobson
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........................................
So she taught him to dance
.............
.............
........................................
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dai Cottomy
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I've taken the liberty of moving line 2 to line 3


Mavis Tuckwell bought a gorilla
-----------------------------------
So she taught him to dance
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-----------------------------------

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waiting4atickle
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Mavis Tuckwell bought a gorilla
-----------------------------------
So she taught him to dance
But left too much to chance
-----------------------------------
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Douglas
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Mavis Tuckwell bought a gorilla
-----------------------------------
So she taught him to dance
But left too much to chance
For he spilled all the sarsaparilla
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Mobson
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Mavis Tuckwell bought a gorilla
Named him Thrilla of Manila
So she taught him to dance
But left too much to chance
For he spilled all the sarsaparilla



Mavis knew she had made a mistake
Edited by Mobson, May 17 2018, 12:16 PM.
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Caro

Mavis knew she had made a mistake
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It turned out to be a big snake.
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Mobson
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Mavis knew she had made a mistake
A wild animal to her home she did take
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---------------------
It turned out to be a big snake.
Edited by Mobson, May 18 2018, 07:23 AM.
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Douglas
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Mavis knew she had made a mistake
A wild animal to her home she did take
She was taken aback
---------------------
It turned out to be a big snake.
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Mobson
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Mavis knew she had made a mistake
A wild animal to her home she did take
She was taken aback
When opening the sack
It turned out to be a big snake.
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Mobson
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There's flora and foliage at Chelsea
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Caro

There's flora and foliage at Chelsea
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And someone had formed a shell sea.
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Mobson
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There's flora and foliage at Chelsea
Delighting the bird and the bee
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------------------------
And someone had formed a shell sea.
Edited by Mobson, May 24 2018, 03:42 AM.
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Caro

There's flora and foliage at Chelsea
Delighting the bird and the bee
------------------------
There's grass mowed in shapes
And someone has formed a shell sea.
Edited by Caro, May 31 2018, 12:02 AM.
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Douglas
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There's flora and foliage at Chelsea
Delighting the bird and the bee
There's all sorts of japes
There's grass mowed in shapes
And someone has formed a shell sea.

It's the French Open tennis this week
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