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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,622 Views)
dai Cottomy
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792



It's awful, the lies that we tell
And maybe we'll all go to Hell
So always tell the Truth
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Norm Deplume
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O hail the bicycling Hero! .... ....
.................................
.................
.................
Far better than getting a Zero



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Mobson
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O hail the bicycling Hero! .... ....
Ahead of his teammate Nero
.................
.................
Far better than getting a Zero
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Norm Deplume
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O hail the bicycling Hero! .... ....
Ahead of his teammate Nero
With legs like steel pistons
................
Far better than getting a Zero
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dai Cottomy
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O hail the bicycling Hero! .... ....
Ahead of his teammate Nero
With legs like steel pistons
And fists like Sonny Liston's
Far better than getting a Zero


I'm placing a bet on Denise


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waiting4atickle
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I'm placing a bet on Denise
Getting drunk and doing striptease
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Caro

I'm placing a bet on Denise
Getting drunk and doing striptease
----------------
----------------
Spread out on a big tiger fleece.
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Mobson
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I'm placing a bet on Denise
Getting drunk and doing striptease
With her legs akimbo
..............................
Spread out on a big tiger fleece.
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waiting4atickle
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I'm placing a bet on Denise
Getting drunk and doing striptease
With her legs akimbo
She looks like a bimbo
Spread out on a big tiger fleece.



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When Daisy pulls it off
------------------------------

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tafkaj

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He always gives a cough
When Daisy pulls it off
------------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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He loves driving fast cars in the Spring
------------------------------
He always gives a cough
When Daisy pulls it off
------------------------------
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Mobson
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He loves driving fast cars in the Spring
Buys all the luxuries money can bring
He always gives a cough
When Daisy pulls it off
------------------------------
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Caro

He loves driving fast cars in the Spring
Buys all the luxuries money can bring
He always gives a cough
When Daisy pulls it off -
That very expensive bright bling.

But Christmas brings more gifts galore
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Mobson
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But Christmas brings more gifts galore
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Which makes you feel like an Xmas whore
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Norm Deplume
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But Christmas brings more gifts galore
so many more than you bargained for
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-----------------------
Which makes you feel like an Xmas whore
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Caro

But Christmas brings more gifts galore
so many more than you bargained for
There's books and games
-----------------------
Which makes you feel like an Xmas whore
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waiting4atickle
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But Christmas brings more gifts galore
so many more than you bargained for
There's books and games
And zimmer frames
Which makes you feel like an Xmas whore



--------------------------------
When the whole charade is over
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--------------------------------

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Norm Deplume
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--------------------------------
When the whole charade is over
-----------------------
-----------------------
It will seem like a roll in the clover
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Mobson
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It'll be goodbye to my bloke from Maldova
When the whole charade is over
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-----------------------
It will seem like a roll in the clover
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Norm Deplume
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It'll be goodbye to my bloke from Maldova
When the whole charade is over
-----------------------
When his flight takes off
It will seem like a roll in the clover
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Caro

It'll be goodbye to my bloke from Maldova
When the whole charade is over
He leaves us, the prof;
When his flight takes off
It will seem like a roll in the clover

It's dark in your place; here there's sun
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Edited by Caro, Dec 26 2012, 09:30 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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It's dark in your place; here there's sun
And the summer has just begun
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Mobson
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t's dark in your place; here there's sun
And the summer has just begun
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------------------
But here comes the snow..O What fun! dfryu8ui9klop y5edufvygku y5edufvygku
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waiting4atickle
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It's dark in your place; here there's sun
And the summer has just begun
While you sleep in your bed
------------------
But here comes the snow..O What fun!

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Norm Deplume
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It's dark in your place; here there's sun
And the summer has just begun
While you sleep in your bed
All's done and said
But here comes the snow..O What fun!


A gargatuan milkman in Luton
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Caro

A gargantuan milkman in Luton
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And just managed to wriggle his suit on.
Edited by Caro, Dec 29 2012, 08:21 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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A gargantuan milkman in Luton
Always slept on a Japanese futon
-------------------
-------------------
And just managed to wriggle his suit on.
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Mobson
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A gargantuan milkman in Luton
Always slept on a Japanese futon
It did for his back
-------------------
And just managed to wriggle his suit on.
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Norm Deplume
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A gargantuan milkman in Luton
Always slept on a Japanese futon
It did for his back
Alas and alack
And just managed to wriggle his suit on.


His young brother Ken in Old Welwyn... <tati>
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waiting4atickle
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His young brother Ken in Old Welwyn...
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Just carried on kissin' and tellin'.

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Caro

His young brother Ken in Old Welwyn...
Was just little more than a felon
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-------------------
Just carried on kissin' and tellin'.

(Lucky you put that, w4at, or I might have been using Selwyn. or Delwyn. Or trying to make something of "hell win"
)
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Mobson
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His young brother Ken in Old Welwyn...
Was just little more than a felon
-------------------
All the girls that he had
Just carried on kissin' and tellin'.
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Norm Deplume
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His young brother Ken in Old Welwyn...
Was just little more than a felon
Such a terrible cad
All the girls that he had
Just carried on kissin' and tellin'.




Ken's oldest son Piers, from The Wirral
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waiting4atickle
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Ken's oldest son Piers, from The Wirral
Was rumoured to have a pet squirrel
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-----------------------------------

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Caro

Ken's oldest son Piers, from The Wirral
Was rumoured to have a pet squirrel
A red one, not grey
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-----------------------------------
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waiting4atickle
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Ken's oldest son Piers, from The Wirral
Was rumoured to have a pet squirrel
A red one, not grey
Which some said was gay
-----------------------------------

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Norm Deplume
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Ken's oldest son Piers, from The Wirral
Was rumoured to have a pet squirrel
A red one, not grey
Which some said was gay
His bushy-tailed friend is called Cyril


Now Cyril has friends, Russ and Charlie
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Mobson
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Now Cyril has friends, Russ and Charlie
Who make a living selling trinkets from Bali
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Norm Deplume
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Now Cyril has friends, Russ and Charlie
Who make a living selling trinkets from Bali
They've a line in gold bangles
And baubles wot dangles
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Mobson
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Now Cyril has friends, Russ and Charlie
Who make a living selling trinkets from Bali
They've a line in gold bangles
And baubles wot dangles
Tho' Russ wants to try some from Mali
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Mobson
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They love going native when they buy
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waiting4atickle
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They love going native when they buy
--------------------------------
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With a yell of "Here's mud in your eye!"

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Mobson
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They love going native when they buy
From the locals who can be quite sly
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-------------------
With a yell of "Here's mud in your eye!"
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waiting4atickle
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They love going native when they buy
From the locals who can be quite sly
At first they recoil
-------------------
With a yell of "Here's mud in your eye!"

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dai Cottomy
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They love going native when they buy
From the locals who can be quite sly
At first they recoil
Chucking handfulls of soil
With a yell of "Here's mud in your eye"



I always thought life was quite mellow



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Norm Deplume
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I always thought life was quite mellow
But then, I'm a mellow sort of fellow
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dai Cottomy
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I always thought life was quite mellow
But then, I'm a mellow sort of fellow
---------------------------------
---------------------------------
But if I don't get my way, then I bellow
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Norm Deplume
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I always thought life was quite mellow
But then, I'm a mellow sort of fellow
I let things pass me by
---------------------------------
But if I don't get my way, then I bellow
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Norm Deplume
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I always thought life was quite mellow
But then, I'm a mellow sort of fellow
I let things pass me by
I don't sob, I don't cry
But if I don't get my way, then I bellow



The roar of the crowd hurt my ears
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Norm Deplume
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The roar of the crowd hurt my ears
..................................................
.......................
....................
The excitement drove me to tears
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Mobson
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The roar of the crowd hurt my ears
Bringing back my very worst fears
.......................
....................
The excitement drove me to tears
Edited by Mobson, Jan 7 2013, 03:22 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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The roar of the crowd hurt my ears
Bringing back my very worst fears
The opponents first punch
...................
The excitement drove me to tears
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dai Cottomy
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The roar of the crowd hurt my ears
Bringing back my very worst fears
The opponents first punch
Brought up my lunch
The excitement drove me to tears


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She stifled a sob
------------------------------------------
Edited by dai Cottomy, Jan 7 2013, 10:06 PM.
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Mobson
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------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------
On losing her job
She stifled a sob
------------------------------------------
Edited by Mobson, Jan 7 2013, 10:15 PM.
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Caro

------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------
On losing her job
She stifled a sob
And set to with revenge served so cold.
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waiting4atickle
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The iron lady, so I'm told,
------------------------------------------
On losing her job
She stifled a sob
And set to with revenge served so cold.

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Mobson
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The iron lady, so I'm told,
Became resolute and bold
On losing her job
She stifled a sob
And set to with revenge served so cold.
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Mobson
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Hunting down those ministers was her quest
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dai Cottomy
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Hunting down those ministers was her quest
Which she did with ineffable zest
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tafkaj

Hunting down those ministers was her quest
Which she did with ineffable zest
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-------------------------------
I'm sure you know, by now, the rest.
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Norm Deplume
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The iron lady, so I'm told,
Who was nothing if not very bold
On losing her job
She stifled a sob
And set to with revenge served so cold.


Depardieu has a Russian Passport
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Mobson
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Depardieu has a Russian Passport
Doging taxes that he really ought
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Caro

Depardieu has a Russian Passport
Dodging taxes that he really ought
-------------------
-------------------
By the taxman he'll be highly sought.
Edited by Caro, Jan 8 2013, 08:17 PM.
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Mobson
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Depardieu has a Russian Passport
Dodging taxes that he really ought
Be paying in France
-------------------
By the taxman he'll be highly sought.
Edited by Mobson, Jan 8 2013, 08:19 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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Depardieu has a Russian Passport
Dodging taxes that he really ought
To be paying in France
While we look on askance
By the taxman he'll be highly sought.



Hunting down those ministers was her quest
Which she did with ineffable zest
She slaughtered the sheep
-------------------------------
I'm sure you know, by now, the rest.

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Norm Deplume
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Hunting down those ministers was her quest
Which she did with ineffable zest
She slaughtered the sheep
...not a bit like Bo-Peep
I'm sure you know, by now, the rest.



The question is, What was her aim?
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Caro

The question is, What was her aim?
---------------------------------
----------------
----------------
Or a desire to become a mad dame?
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waiting4atickle
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The question is, What was her aim?
Did she view it as some sort of game?
----------------
----------------
Or a desire to become a mad dame?

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Mobson
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The question is, What was her aim?
Did she view it as some sort of game?
Did Dennis approve?
----------------
Or a desire to become a mad dame?
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Norm Deplume
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The question is, What was her aim?
Did she view it as some sort of game?
Did Dennis approve?
Was it a wise move?
Or a desire to become a mad dame?


It looks like the Winter 's upon us
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jan 10 2013, 02:03 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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It looks like the Winter's upon us
Or the weatherman's trying to con us
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-------------------------------------

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Norm Deplume
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It looks like the Winter's upon us
Or the weatherman's trying to con us
'twas frosty this morn
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-------------------------------------

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waiting4atickle
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It looks like the Winter's upon us
Or the weatherman's trying to con us
'twas frosty this morn
And white was the lawn
-------------------------------------

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Caro

It looks like the Winter's upon us
Or the weatherman's trying to con us
'twas frosty this morn
And white was the lawn
With the sparkles that nature would don us.

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It's worthy and good
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Edited by Caro, Jan 11 2013, 07:46 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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It's worthy and good
But it's not Yorkshire pud
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dai Cottomy
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Tripe and onions is not a dish that I'd choose
-------------------------------
It's worthy and good
But it's not Yorkshire pud
-------------------------------
Edited by dai Cottomy, Jan 11 2013, 11:02 PM.
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Caro

Tripe and onions is not a dish that I'd choose
If my girl I sought to amuse
It's worthy and good
But it's not Yorkshire pud
-------------------------------
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dai Cottomy
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Tripe and onions is not a dish that I'd choose
If my girl I sought to amuse
It's worthy and good
But it's not Yorkshire pud
Washed down with large helpings of booze


There once was a barmaid from Dorking
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Norm Deplume
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There once was a barmaid from Dorking
Had an urge to take her dog walking
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dai Cottomy
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There once was a barmaid from Dorking
Had an urge to take her dog walking
He espied a cat
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waiting4atickle
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There once was a barmaid from Dorking
Had an urge to take her dog walking
He espied a cat
In a bowler hat

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Norm Deplume
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There once was a barmaid from Dorking
Had an urge to take her dog walking
He espied a cat
In a bowler hat
Who simply just stood there, gawking.



My sat-nav has stopped talking to me
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dai Cottomy
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My sat-nav has stopped talking to me
Quite annoying, I think you'll agree
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Norm Deplume
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My sat-nav has stopped talking to me
Quite annoying, I think you'll agree
Was it something I said?
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Mobson
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My sat-nav has stopped talking to me
Quite annoying, I think you'll agree
Was it something I said?
..................................
So now I am quite navigation free
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Caro

My sat-nav has stopped talking to me
Quite annoying, I think you'll agree
Was it something I said?
Or an odd thing it read?
So now I am quite navigation free

A map is the best thing for drives
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tafkaj

A map is the best thing for drives
-------------------------------
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--------------
And pick up some flowers for their wives.
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Mobson
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A map is the best thing for drives
-----------------------------------------
With a good navigator
--------------
And pick up some flowers for their wives.
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Norm Deplume
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A map is the best thing for drives
Against sat-nav, it saves lots of lives
With a good navigator
--------------
And pick up some flowers for their wives.
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dai Cottomy
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A map is the best thing for drives
Against sat-nav, it saves lots of lives
With a good navigator
We'll drive round the crater
And pick up some flowers for their wives.



Technology will drive me insane
Edited by dai Cottomy, Jan 16 2013, 12:59 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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Technology will drive me insane
The workings are very arcane
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jan 16 2013, 11:33 AM.
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Mobson
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Technology will drive me insane
The workings are very arcane
Just as you learn
Edited by Mobson, Jan 18 2013, 09:00 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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Technology will drive me insane
The workings are very arcane
Just as you learn
Your CD, to burn
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jan 20 2013, 12:14 PM.
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Mobson
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Technology will drive me insane
The workings are very arcane
Just as you learn
Your CD, to burn
It's all change, then who can you blame





Edited by Mobson, Jan 20 2013, 01:13 PM.
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Mobson
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.........................................
.........................................
Do not get frustrated
..............................
..........................................
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Norm Deplume
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.........................................
.........................................
Do not get frustrated
..............................
The whole drama of life lies within
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dai Cottomy
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.........................................
.........................................
Do not get frustrated
Or irritated
The whole drama of life lies within
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Norm Deplume
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On a slow train just north of Kings Lynn
.........................................
Do not get frustrated
..............................
The whole drama of life lies within
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Mobson
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On a slow train just north of Kings Lynn
Armed with vitals & a bottle of Gin
Do not get frustrated
Or irritated
The whole drama of life lies within
Edited by Mobson, Jan 21 2013, 07:06 PM.
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Mobson
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When the train came to halt at Meldreth
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dai Cottomy
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When the train came to halt at Meldreth
The town as a whole held its breath
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