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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,620 Views)
dai Cottomy
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792



It's awful, the lies that we tell
And maybe we'll all go to Hell
So always tell the Truth
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dai Cottomy
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"It's horse, and I thought it was cow"
Nag meat has become all the rage now
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And that's when we started to row.
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tafkaj

"It's horse, and I thought it was cow!"
"Nag meat has become all the rage now,"
Replied Tesco's butcher
--------------------
And that's when we started to row.
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Caro

"It's horse, and I thought it was cow!"
"Nag meat has become all the rage now,"
Replied Tesco's butcher.
"It's much of a mucher,"
And that's when we started to row.

It was fun to watch cricket tonight
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waiting4atickle
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It was fun to watch cricket tonight
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And I saw the blackcaps in full flight.

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Norm Deplume
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It's horse, and I thought it was cow"
Oh! No! Not that joke, not now
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And that's when we started to row.



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waiting4atickle
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<whistles>

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Caro

It was fun to watch cricket tonight
The English came up some runs light
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----------------
And I saw the blackcaps in full flight.
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Norm Deplume
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A few HUGH's hanging around up there!
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tafkaj

It was fun to watch cricket tonight
The English came up some runs light
T'won't hapen again
----------------
And I saw the blackcaps in full flight.
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Mobson
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It was fun to watch cricket tonight
The English came up some runs light
T'won't happen again
England shouted in pain
And I saw the blackcaps in full flight.
Edited by Mobson, Feb 19 2013, 03:35 PM.
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Mobson
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Have libraries really had their day? .... .... http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2013/feb/13/libraries-horrible-histories-terry-deary
Edited by Mobson, Feb 19 2013, 03:39 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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Have libraries really had their day?
...............................................
.......................
.......................
Cos our Library is full ev'ry day
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Caro

Have libraries really had their day?
Hope not, cos they bring in my pay
.......................
.......................
Cos our Library is full ev'ry day
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waiting4atickle
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Have libraries really had their day?
Hope not, cos they bring in my pay
.......................
Tho' it's hard to believe
Cos our Library is full ev'ry day

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dai Cottomy
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Have libraries really had their day?
Hope not, cos they bring in my pay
If 't were true, I would grieve
Tho' it's hard to believe
Cos our Library is full ev'ry day

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dai Cottomy
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'Twas there I discovered Eng. Lit.
Edited by dai Cottomy, Feb 20 2013, 03:27 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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'Twas there I discovered Eng. Lit.
Knew his brother, a right proper twit
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Mobson
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'Twas there I discovered Eng. Lit.
Knew his brother, a right proper twit
...........
...........
He was totally without any wit
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Norm Deplume
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'Twas there I discovered Eng. Lit.
Knew his brother, a right proper twit
Got sent down from Uni
.........
He was totally without any wit
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dai Cottomy
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'Twas there I discovered Eng. Lit.
Knew his brother, a right proper twit
Got sent down from Uni
'Cos he called his prof a loony
He was totally without any wit
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dai Cottomy
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There's a cold wind blowing in from the East
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Edited by dai Cottomy, Feb 21 2013, 05:05 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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There's a cold wind blowing in from the East
Getting into my bones and I wish it had ceased
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Caro

There's a cold wind blowing in from the East
Getting into my bones and I wish it had ceased
.............................................
I add a wool cardy
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waiting4atickle
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There's a cold wind blowing in from the East
Getting into my bones and I wish it had ceased
.............................................
I add a wool cardy
Now the price of their gas has increased.

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Mobson
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There's a cold wind blowing in from the East
Getting into my bones and I wish it had ceased
As I'm not very hardy
I add a wool cardy
Now the price of their gas has increased.
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Mobson
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It will be awful to be kept in the dark
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dai Cottomy
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It will be awful to be kept in the dark
But it could be a bit of a lark
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tafkaj

It will be awful to be kept in the dark,
But it could be a bit of a lark
--------------------------
Like a rather fat sparrow
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Norm Deplume
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It will be awful to be kept in the dark,
But it could be a bit of a lark
--------------------------
Like a rather fat sparrow
On an afternoon stroll in the park




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Norm Deplume
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It will be awful to be kept in the dark,
But it could be a bit of a lark
Wheeling a barrow
Like a rather fat sparrow
On an afternoon stroll in the park




The groundsman at the town's Bowling Club

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dai Cottomy
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The groundsman at the town's Bowling Club
Disgraced himself in the local pub

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Mobson
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The groundsman at the town's Bowling Club
Disgraced himself in the local pub
................
................
Eating but not paying for his grub
Edited by Mobson, Feb 24 2013, 10:40 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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The groundsman at the town's Bowling Club
Disgraced himself in the local pub
He caused an uproar
--------------------------
Eating but not paying for his grub
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Mobson
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The groundsman at the town's Bowling Club
Disgraced himself in the local pub
He caused an uproar
After being caught for
Eating but not paying for his grub
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Mobson
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.....................................
......................................
If it gets any colder
Edited by Mobson, Feb 25 2013, 01:05 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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The brass monkeys are looking forlorn
.....................................
......................................
If it gets any colder
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Norm Deplume
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The brass monkeys are looking forlorn
.....................................................
...........................
If it gets any colder
They will wish they had never been born
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Caro

The brass monkeys are looking forlorn
The weather they're starting to mourn
...........................
If it gets any colder
They will wish they had never been born
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Norm Deplume
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The brass monkeys are looking forlorn
The weather they're starting to mourn
They will need flux and solder
If it gets any colder
They will wish they had never been born



Adele 's kissed her grim past farewell










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Mobson
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Norm Deplume
Feb 26 2013, 11:26 AM
The brass monkeys are looking forlorn
The weather they're starting to mourn
They will need flux and solder
If it gets any colder
They will wish they had never been born

<ok> <happy>


Adele's kissed her grim past farewell
..................................................
..........
..........
Such a long way to heaven from hell
Edited by Mobson, Feb 27 2013, 08:30 PM.
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Caro

Adele's kissed her grim past farewell
..................................................
She's right at the top
..........
Such a long way to heaven from hell
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waiting4atickle
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Adele's kissed her grim past farewell
And things that she doesn't dare tell
She's right at the top
..........
Such a long way to heaven from hell

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Norm Deplume
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Adele's kissed her grim past farewell
And things that she doesn't dare tell
She's right at the top
There's only one way---To Drop
Such a long way to heaven from hell



I feel I should do you a favour

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waiting4atickle
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I feel I should do you a favour
And buy you an ice-cream - what flavour?
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Caro

I feel I should do you a favour
And buy you an ice-cream - what flavour?
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They're all pretty good just to savour.
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Norm Deplume
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I feel I should do you a favour
And buy you an ice-cream - what flavour?
Wafer or cone?
--------------------
They're all pretty good just to savour.










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Mobson
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I feel I should do you a favour
And buy you an ice-cream - what flavour?
Wafer or cone?
Or on its own
They're all pretty good just to savour.







Edited by Mobson, Mar 3 2013, 10:52 PM.
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Mobson
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My favourite is toffee caramel crunch
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Caro

My favourite is toffee caramel crunch
I eat it for supper or lunch
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waiting4atickle
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My favourite is toffee caramel crunch
I eat it for supper or lunch
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It's one of the nicest things to munch.

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Norm Deplume
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My favourite is toffee caramel crunch
I eat it for supper or lunch
-------------------
In a dish or a glass
It's one of the nicest things to munch.







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tafkaj

My favourite is toffee caramel crunch
I eat it for supper or lunch
I'll scoff, without class,
In a dish or a glass
It's one of the nicest things to munch.

**************************************

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But don't be afraid
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dai Cottomy
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-----------------------------------------------
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But don't be afraid
Have some lemonade
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Norm Deplume
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My favourite is creme caramel
-----------------------------------------------
But don't be afraid
Have some lemonade
-----------------------------------------------
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Mobson
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My favourite is creme caramel
Makes my tummy start to swell
But don't be afraid
Have some lemonade
-----------------------------------------------
Edited by Mobson, Mar 6 2013, 12:26 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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My favourite is creme caramel
Makes my tummy start to swell
But don't be afraid
Have some lemonade
No thanks! It just gives me hell




But if your offering whisky and dry
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waiting4atickle
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But if you're offering whisky and dry
I'd be tempted, I cannot deny
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Mobson
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But if you're offering whisky and dry
I'd be tempted, I cannot deny
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A wee dram or two
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Edited by Mobson, Mar 8 2013, 10:30 PM.
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tafkaj

But if you're offering whisky and dry
I'd be tempted, I cannot deny
By some curacao (blue)
A wee dram or two
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dai Cottomy
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But if you're offering whisky and dry
I'd be tempted, I cannot deny
By some curacao (blue)
A wee dram or two
And then you will think you can fly


You can't beat a nice cup of tea
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Mobson
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You can't beat a nice cup of tea
.............................................
............
............
A pot of brew for you and for me
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dai Cottomy
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You can't beat a nice cup of tea
With milk and no sugar? Mais oui!
............
............
A pot of brew for you and for me
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waiting4atickle
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You can't beat a nice cup of tea
With milk and no sugar? Mais oui!
So put t'kettle on
............
A pot of brew for you and for me
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Mobson
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You can't beat a nice cup of tea
With milk and no sugar? Mais oui!
So put t'kettle on
With a freshly baked scone
A pot of brew for you and for me
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Mobson
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There's porridge for breakfast this morning
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dai Cottomy
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There's porridge for breakfast this morning
Just the thing to stop you from yawning
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Norm Deplume
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There's porridge for breakfast this morning
Just the thing to stop you from yawning
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---------------------------------
I'm broke but haven't anything worth pawning
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Norm Deplume
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There's porridge for breakfast this morning
Just the thing to stop you from yawning
The milk has run out
---------------------------------
I'm broke but haven't anything worth pawning
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dai Cottomy
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There's porridge for breakfast this morning
Just the thing to stop you from yawning
The milk has run out
I'm suffering from gout
I'm broke but haven't anything worth pawning



It's being cheerful that keeps me going
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Edited by dai Cottomy, Mar 12 2013, 07:03 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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It's being cheerful that keeps me going
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In the end there's no way of knowing.

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Caro

It's being cheerful that keeps me going
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--------------------------------
But is gloom more true?
In the end there's no way of knowing.
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dai Cottomy
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It's being cheerful that keeps me going
Tho' tragedies keep ebb and flowing
--------------------------------
But is gloom more true?
In the end there's no way of knowing.
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Norm Deplume
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It's being cheerful that keeps me going
Tho' tragedies keep ebb and flowing
I'm feeling so blue
But is gloom more true?
In the end there's no way of knowing.


The problem 's we have little knowledge
Edited by Norm Deplume, Mar 14 2013, 04:17 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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The problem 's we have little knowledge
Even after those years at college
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Norm Deplume
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The problem 's we have little knowledge
Even after those years at college
Two plus two don't make five
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-------------------------------

Edited by Norm Deplume, Mar 15 2013, 03:40 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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The problem 's we have little knowledge
Even after those years at college
Two plus two don't make five
When professors arrive
-------------------------------

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tafkaj

The problem's we have little knowledge
Even after those years at college
Two plus two don't make five
When professors arrive
And consume every last drop of porridge.

*******************************************

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By sounding your barbaric yawp
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dai Cottomy
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It's easy to make people gawp
By sounding your barbaric yawp
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tafkaj

It's easy to make people gawp
By sounding your barbaric yawp
All over the glen
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Norm Deplume
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It's easy to make people gawp
By sounding your barbaric yawp
All over the glen
Once more, then amen
--------------------------------------------


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Mobson
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It's easy to make people gawp
By sounding your barbaric yawp
All over the glen
Once more, then amen
I'm leaving you all for Scunthorpe
Edited by Mobson, Mar 16 2013, 03:27 PM.
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Mobson
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...........................................
...........................................
A traveller alone
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Norm Deplume
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On the towpath beside the Canal
...........................................
A traveller alone
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dai Cottomy
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On the towpath beside the Canal
With thoughts which were purely banal
A traveller alone
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Norm Deplume
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On the towpath beside the Canal
With thoughts which were purely banal
A traveller alone
Was kicking a stone
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waiting4atickle
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On the towpath beside the Canal
With thoughts which were purely banal
A traveller alone
Was kicking a stone
Because he had just lost his gal.


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And the waters are rising again.

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Norm Deplume
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Its persistently raining in Spain
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And the waters are rising again.

Edited by Norm Deplume, Mar 19 2013, 05:09 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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Its persistently raining in Spain
Especially down on the plain
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------------------
And the waters are rising again.

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Norm Deplume
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Its persistently raining in Spain
Especially down on the plain
The rivers run high
------------------
And the waters are rising again.
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Caro

Its persistently raining in Spain
Especially down on the plain
The rivers run high
Banks broken are nigh
And the waters are rising again.

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And into the town they did rush
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Norm Deplume
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------------------------------
And into the town they did rush
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-----------------
In the air was a deathly hush

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dai Cottomy
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They feared to get killed in the crush
And into the town they did rush
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-----------------
In the air was a deathly hush

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Mobson
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They feared to get killed in the crush
And into the town they did rush
amidst total panic
-----------------
In the air was a deathly hush
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dai Cottomy
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They feared to get killed in the crush
And into the town they did rush
amidst total panic
It was quite manic
In the air was a deathly hush


Just after the panic subsided
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rumbaba
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Just after the panic subsided
and all of the mess had been tidied
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waiting4atickle
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Just after the panic subsided
and all of the mess had been tidied
----------------------
----------------------
And nothing left to be divided.

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Caro

Just after the panic subsided
and all of the mess had been tidied
I searched through the rubble
----------------------
And nothing left to be divided.
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Norm Deplume
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Just after the panic subsided
and all of the mess had been tidied
I searched through the rubble
Which wasn't worth the trouble
And nothing left to be divided.



Must admit, I should have known better










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Mobson
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Must admit, I should have known better
Eating too many olives with feta
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Norm Deplume
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Must admit, I should have known better
Eating too many olives with feta
Was it the olives or cheese
...............
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