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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,619 Views)
dai Cottomy
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792



It's awful, the lies that we tell
And maybe we'll all go to Hell
So always tell the Truth
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rumbaba
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Must admit, I should have known better
Eating too many olives with feta
Was it the olives or cheese
...............
It's my own fault, I shouldn't have let her
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Mobson
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Must admit, I should have known better
Eating too many olives with feta
Was it the olives or cheese
That disagreed with Louise
It's my own fault, I shouldn't have let her
Edited by Mobson, Mar 26 2013, 06:41 AM.
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Mobson
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Another thrilling all-nighter
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tafkaj

[I'm taking a punt on which line you'd contributed, Mobs ... ]



--------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
Another thrilling all-nighter
Made my life so much brighter
--------------------------------------------------
Edited by tafkaj, Mar 26 2013, 02:38 PM.
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rumbaba
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When you think it can't get any worse
--------------------------------------------------
Another thrilling all-nighter
Made my life so much brighter
--------------------------------------------------
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Mobson
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Taf <ok> ...lack of sleep is making me indecisive <wink>


When you think it can't get any worse
And you feel you're plagued with a curse
Another thrilling all-nighter
Made my life so much brighter
--------------------------------------------------
Edited by Mobson, Mar 26 2013, 04:43 PM.
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Caro

When you think it can't get any worse
And you feel you're plagued with a curse
Another thrilling all-nighter
Made my life so much brighter
Though at times it make my lips purse.


----------------------------------
----------------------------------
Our hopes were so high
----------------
----------------------------------
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Mobson
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With victory just a hair's breadth away
-------------------------------------------
Our hopes were so high
---------------------------
-------------------------------------------
Edited by Mobson, Mar 27 2013, 02:19 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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With victory just a hair's breadth away
-------------------------------------------
Our hopes were so high
---------------------------
And that was the end of the play.

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Mobson
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With victory just a hair's breadth away
So sure t'ould be ours at the close of day
Our hopes were so high
---------------------------
And that was the end of the play.
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waiting4atickle
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With victory just a hair's breadth away
So sure t'ould be ours at the close of day
Our hopes were so high
Till the overs ran dry
And that was the end of the play.


------------------------------
------------------------------
Don't stray out of your crease
-------------------
------------------------------

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dai Cottomy
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------------------------------
------------------------------
Don't stray out of your crease
It means certain release
------------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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------------------------------
------------------------------
Don't stray out of your crease
It means certain release
We lost, but we played a good game
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dai Cottomy
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-------------------------------------------------
Don't let their bowlers put us to shame
Don't stray out of your crease
It means certain release
We lost, but we played a good game
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Caro

No loose shots that just are so lame
Don't let their bowlers put us to shame
Don't stray out of your crease
It means certain release
We lost, but we played a good game.


--------------------------
The rain it is pelting like mad
------------
------------
--------------------------

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waiting4atickle
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It's the worst barbecue that we've had
The rain it is pelting like mad
------------
------------
--------------------------

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dai Cottomy
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It's the worst barbecue that we've had
The rain it is pelting like mad
Now it's turned into sleet
------------
--------------------------
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rumbaba
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It's the worst barbecue that we've had
The rain it is pelting like mad
Now it's turned into sleet
and has wet all the meat
--------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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It's the worst barbecue that we've had
The rain it is pelting like mad
Now it's turned into sleet
and has wet all the meat
Soggy burgers dion't taste all that bad!



The Darling of TV newscasters
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waiting4atickle
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The Darling of TV newscasters
In Augusta to cover the Masters
--------------
--------------
----------------------

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Norm Deplume
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The Darling of TV newscasters
In Augusta to cover the Masters
--------------
--------------
One of golf's metaphoric disasters
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tafkaj

The Darling of TV newscasters,
In Augusta to cover the Masters,
Has sneezed live on air
--------------
One of golf's metaphoric disasters
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dai Cottomy
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The Darling of TV newscasters,
In Augusta to cover the Masters,
Has sneezed live on air
Said it was a dare
One of golf's metaphoric disasters


A certain news reader one day
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Norm Deplume
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A certain news reader one day
"Came-out" and admitted he's gay
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Mobson
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A certain news reader one day
"Came-out" and admitted he's gay
...............
...............
There's simply nothing more to say

Edited by Mobson, Apr 7 2013, 02:29 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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A certain news reader one day
"Came-out" and admitted he's gay
With no inhibition
...............
There's simply nothing more to say
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Caro

A certain news reader one day
"Came-out" and admitted he's gay
With no inhibition
He took on his mission
There's simply nothing more to say


--------------------------
--------------------------
Which won't stop our chat
---------------
--------------------------

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waiting4atickle
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--------------------------
--------------------------
Which won't stop our chat
But don't wear that hat
--------------------------

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dai Cottomy
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Conversation is best in the bath
--------------------------
Which won't stop our chat
But don't wear that hat
--------------------------

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waiting4atickle
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Conversation is best in the bath
--------------------------
Which won't stop our chat
But don't wear that hat
It's sure to upset the giraffe.

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dai Cottomy
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"Conversation is best in the bath"
I said one day to Rory McGrath
Which won't stop our chat
But don't wear that hat
It's sure to upset the giraffe.


They make the most wonderful pets

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Mobson
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They make the most wonderful pets
...................................................
..........
..........
Impossibly tricky to get to the vets
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waiting4atickle
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They make the most wonderful pets
But it's one of my deepest regrets
..........
..........
Impossibly tricky to get to the vets

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Norm Deplume
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They make the most wonderful pets
But it's one of my deepest regrets
That I owned at least four
..........
Impossibly tricky to get to the vets

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dai Cottomy
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They make the most wonderful pets
But it's one of my deepest regrets
That I owned at least four
Couldn't afford more
Impossibly tricky to get to the vets


I once had a lovely pet rhino

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Norm Deplume
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I once had a lovely pet rhino
But he peed all over the lino
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dai Cottomy
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I once had a lovely pet rhino
But he peed all over the lino
I bought him a nappy
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Mobson
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I once had a lovely pet rhino
But he peed all over the lino
I bought him a nappy
It made him unhappy
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tafkaj

I once had a lovely pet rhino,
But he peed all over the lino;
I bought him a nappy,
It made him unhappy,
And he ended up smashed and a wino.

*****************************************

-------------------------------------
But never without an umbrella
-----------------------------
-----------------------------
-------------------------------------
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Caro

In the rain jumped the silly old fella
But never without an umbrella
-----------------------------
-----------------------------
-------------------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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-------------------------------------
But never without an umbrella
-----------------------------
-----------------------------
And that is the tale of dear Stella


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Norm Deplume
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Went for walks with her favourite fella
But never without an umbrella
-----------------------------
-----------------------------
And that is the tale of dear Stella


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Norm Deplume
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Went for walks with her favourite fella
But never without an umbrella
In boots with high heels
----------------------------
And that is the tale of dear Stella

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tafkaj

Caro
Apr 10 2013, 09:15 AM
In the rain jumped the silly old fella
But never without an umbrella
-----------------------------
-----------------------------
-------------------------------------
Went for walks with her favourite fella
But never without an umbrella
In boots with high heels
And stab'liser wheels -
And that is the tale of dear Stella.

*****************************************

[Going with Caro's unconscionably ignored offering!]

In the rain jumped the silly old fella
-------------------------------------
-----------------------------
-----------------------------
-------------------------------------

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Norm Deplume
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In the rain jumped the silly old fella
Who just happened to be a bank teller
-----------------------------
-----------------------------
-------------------------------------
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dai Cottomy
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In the rain jumped the silly old fella
Who just happened to be a bank teller
-----------------------------
-----------------------------
Who, consumed with envy, turned yella
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Norm Deplume
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In the rain jumped the silly old fella
Who just happened to be a bank teller
His clothes got a soaking
-----------------------------
Who, consumed with envy, turned yella
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dai Cottomy
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In the rain jumped the silly old fella
Who just happened to be a bank teller
His clothes got a soaking
A frog started croaking
And consumed with envy, turned yella

A certain Churchwarden from Kent





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Norm Deplume
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A certain Churchwarden from Kent
Whose back was exceedingly bent
.................................
....................................
..................................................
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dai Cottomy
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A certain Churchwarden from Kent
Whose back was exceedingly bent
Said: "I wish I was straight"
....................................
..................................................
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Mobson
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A certain Churchwarden from Kent
Whose back was exceedingly bent
Said: "I wish I was straight"
....................................
Aided by a neurosurgeon from Ghent
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tafkaj

A certain Churchwarden from Kent
Whose back was exceedingly bent
Said: "I wish I was straight",
A wish granted by's mate
Aided by a neurosurgeon from Ghent .

*************************************

--------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------
Don't take it badly
------------------------------
--------------------------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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--------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------
Don't take it badly
But I'm in love, madly
--------------------------------------------
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Mobson
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I'm imbued with a relentless ardor
.................................................
Don't take it badly
But I'm in love, madly
.................................................
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dai Cottomy
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I'm imbued with a relentless ardor
When confronted by a larder
Don't take it badly
But I'm in love, madly
.................................................
Edited by dai Cottomy, Apr 16 2013, 05:39 PM.
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Caro

I'm imbued with a relentless ardor
When confronted by a larder
Don't take it badly
But I'm in love, madly
With cheese, especially when harder.

-------------------------
For Brie, Windsor Blue or Gruyere
-----------
-----------
-------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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-------------------------
For Brie, Windsor Blue or Gruyere
-----------
-----------
While posing in her brassiere

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dai Cottomy
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She sacrificed her love affair
For Brie, Windsor Blue or Gruyere
-----------
-----------
While posing in her brassiere

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waiting4atickle
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She sacrificed her love affair
For Brie, Windsor Blue or Gruyere
-----------
With a cheesy smile
While posing in her brassiere

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Caro

She sacrificed her love affair
For Brie, Windsor Blue or Gruyere.
Scoffed fromage for a while
With a cheesy smile
While posing in her brassiere.


----------------------
----------------------
-------------
------------
But steak rare and tender is great.
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dai Cottomy
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In my youth I cared not what I ate
----------------------
-------------
------------
But steak rare and tender is great.
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tafkaj

In my youth I cared not what I ate
Nor when and not at what rate;
-------------
------------
But steak rare and tender is great.
Edited by tafkaj, Apr 23 2013, 01:48 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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In my youth I cared not what I ate
Nor when and not at what rate;
I bolted my food
------------
But steak rare and tender is great.

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dai Cottomy
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In my youth I cared not what I ate
Nor when and not at what rate;
I bolted my food
Lots of stuff that was stewed
But steak rare and tender is great.

Nowadays I'm a bit of a veggie

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Mobson
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Nowadays I'm a bit of a veggie
...........................................
'Tho I will eat fish
.........................
............................................

Edited by Mobson, Apr 25 2013, 07:15 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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Nowadays I'm a bit of a veggie
Eating meat tends to make me feel edgy
'Tho I will eat fish
.........................
............................................

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dai Cottomy
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Nowadays I'm a bit of a veggie
Eating meat tends to make me feel edgy
'Tho I will eat fish
Served up in a dish
............................................
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tafkaj

Nowadays I'm a bit of a veggie
Eating meat tends to make me feel edgy
'Tho I will eat fish
Served up in a dish
But my vegan wife then gives me a wedgie.

***************************************

--------------------------------------------------
Though Mexicans don't seem to like it
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
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dai Cottomy
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When trav'lling abroad, I hitch-hike it
Though Mexicans don't seem to like it
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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When trav'lling abroad, I hitch-hike it
Though Mexicans don't seem to like it
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
From now on I'm going to bike it
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dai Cottomy
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When trav'lling abroad, I hitch-hike it
Though Mexicans don't seem to like it
They don't want to stop
----------------------------------
From now on I'm going to bike it
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Caro

When trav'lling abroad, I hitch-hike it
Though Mexicans don't seem to like it
They don't want to stop
It's a bit of a flop
From now on I'm going to bike it


-----------------------
-----------------------
--------------
--------------
I'll curl up and sleep on the train.
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tafkaj

I'm sure there's a worm in my brain
-----------------------
--------------
--------------
I'll curl up and sleep on the train.
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Norm Deplume
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I'm sure there's a worm in my brain
I feel it like fast-growing grain
--------------
--------------
I'll curl up and sleep on the train.




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Mobson
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I'm sure there's a worm in my brain
I feel it like fast-growing grain
Altho none be found
............................
I'll curl up and sleep on the train.
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Norm Deplume
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I'm sure there's a worm in my brain
I feel it like fast-growing grain
Altho none be found
While I'm homeward bound,
I'll curl up and sleep on the train.


The hedge at the front of our lawn
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dai Cottomy
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The hedge at the front of our lawn
Has grown so large it has to be shorn
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Mobson
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The hedge at the front of our lawn
Has grown so large it has to be shorn
...................
...................
It'll have grown back again by the morn.
Edited by Mobson, May 4 2013, 08:04 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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The hedge at the front of our lawn
Has grown so large it has to be shorn
Cut it back to the roots
...................
It'll have grown back again by the morn.
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dai Cottomy
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The hedge at the front of our lawn
Has grown so large it has to be shorn
Cut it back to the roots
Collect all the fruits
It'll have grown back again by the morn.


When that's done, the lawn needs to be mown
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Norm Deplume
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When that's done, the lawn needs to be mown
But it's new grass that's only just been sown
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Mobson
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When that's done, the lawn needs to be mown
But it's new grass that's only just been sown
.....................................
It's a bird's special treat
..............................................................
Edited by Mobson, May 6 2013, 08:11 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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When that's done, the lawn needs to be mown
But it's new grass that's only just been sown
Tamped down with their feet
It's a bird's special treat
..............................................................
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dai Cottomy
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When that's done, the lawn needs to be mown
But it's new grass that's only just been sown
Tamped down with their feet
It's a bird's special treat
Fast becoming a grass-free zone.

No apples last year due to frost
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Caro

No apples last year due to frost
------------------------------
--------------
--------------
The best of the crops were all lost.
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rumbaba
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No apples last year due to frost
The farmers are counting the cost
--------------
--------------
The best of the crops were all lost.
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waiting4atickle
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No apples last year due to frost
The farmers are counting the cost
No cider this year
--------------
The best of the crops were all lost.
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Mobson
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No apples last year due to frost
The farmers are counting the cost
No cider this year
To bring us good cheer
The best of the crops were all lost.
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Mobson
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Perry cider is a good substitute
Edited by Mobson, May 10 2013, 02:06 PM.
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rumbaba
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Perry cider is a good substitute
----------------------------
------------------------------
The crop's all gone pear-shaped
-----------------------------
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waiting4atickle
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Perry cider is a good substitute
So make mine a litre, old fruit
------------------------------
The crop's all gone pear-shaped
-----------------------------

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Mobson
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Perry cider is a good substitute
So make mine a litre, old fruit
------------------------------
The crop's all gone pear-shaped
But the flavour is not in dispute
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Norm Deplume
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Perry cider is a good substitute
So make mine a litre, old fruit
Though 'twas videotaped,
The crop's gone pear-shaped
But the flavour is not in dispute




Dark rum and Ribena is quite nice
Especially with fresh mint and hot spice
........................
.......................
....................................................
Edited by Norm Deplume, May 11 2013, 06:57 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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Dark rum and Ribena is quite nice
Especially with fresh mint and hot spice
........................
.......................
But of course you'll need plenty of ice
























....................................................
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Caro

Dark rum and Ribena is quite nice
Especially with fresh mint and hot spice
........................
And gallons of chips [which you might call crisps]
But of course you'll need plenty of ice

[I kept a book of my children's progress for each of them and my daughter-in-law was horrified to learn that the nurse told me to give my son Ribena when he was six month's old. It was just a teaspoon in water, but later on at nine months and a year I write that he needs a bottle of Ribena to get to sleep. "Pure sugar", she said most disapprovingly. I can tell that any faults she detects in my son will be put down to my feeding him Ribena.
.]
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Norm Deplume
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Dark rum and Ribena is quite nice
Especially with fresh mint and hot spice
And gallons of chips
[which you might call crisps]...............................I did a bit of engineering Caro, hope you don't mind..Norm.xx
But of course you'll need plenty of ice



A good scotch with hot water and honey

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waiting4atickle
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A good scotch with hot water and honey
-------------------------------
--------------------
--------------------
And make the outlook seem more sunny.

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dai Cottomy
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A good scotch with hot water and honey
(Let the latter be golden and runny)
--------------------
--------------------
And make the outlook seem more sunny.

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Norm Deplume
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A good scotch with hot water and honey
(Let the latter be golden and runny)
Cures a cold, so they say
--------------------
And make the outlook seem more sunny.
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waiting4atickle
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A good scotch with hot water and honey
(Let the latter be golden and runny)
Cures a cold, so they say,
Soothes your troubles away
And makes the outlook seem more sunny.


We need something to brighten things up
-----------------------------
--------------------
--------------------
-----------------------------

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