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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 12:55 PM (26,618 Views)
dai Cottomy
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 1:36 PM Post #2792



It's awful, the lies that we tell
And maybe we'll all go to Hell
So always tell the Truth
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Mobson
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We need something to brighten things up
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--------------------
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Go to Battersea and find us a new pup
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Caro

We need something to brighten things up
Cake and tea in a very large cup
--------------------
--------------------
Go to Battersea and find us a new pup
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Norm Deplume
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We need something to brighten things up
Cake and tea in a very large cup
With a friend who is true
--------------------
Go to Battersea and find us a new pup

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Mobson
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We need something to brighten things up
Cake and tea in a very large cup
With a friend who is true
Let's do something new
Go to Battersea and find us a new pup
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Mobson
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I'm flicking between cricket and tennis
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Norm Deplume
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I'm flicking between cricket and tennis
I'm concerned about Brian and Dennis
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Mobson
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I'm flicking between cricket and tennis
I'm concerned about Brian and Dennis
................................
Does Dennis play tennis?
........................................................
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waiting4atickle
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That's just not cricket, Mobs - even Edward Lear didn't repeat the first rhyme in the fourth line.

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Norm Deplume
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Much as I love you Mobsy, I have to agree with Tick, perhaps an amendment could be made.
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waiting4atickle
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I'm flicking between cricket and tennis
I'm concerned about Brian and Dennis
One plays a love match
................................
........................................................

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Norm Deplume
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I'm flicking between cricket and tennis
I'm concerned about Brian and Dennis
One plays a love match
The other is a real catch
........................................................

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Norm Deplume
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I'm flicking between cricket and tennis
I'm concerned about Brian and Dennis
One plays a love match
The other is a real catch
But together they're a real a menace


It's so different with Nigel and Tony
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Mobson
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"But together they're a real a menace"....? much as I flattered by the love sentiment, Norm, (post 808) is this what you meant to write?.....



It's so different with Nigel and Tony
................................................
...........
...........
They love their horse and their pony



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Norm Deplume
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"much as I flattered by the love sentiment, Norm, (post 808) is this what you meant to write?....."



What do you think that I should have written Mobsy? I didn't give it a lot of thought at the time but now you have me intrigued.
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waiting4atickle
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I think Mobs was confused by your typo, Norm - "a real a menace". Maybe you couldn't decide between "a real menace" and "really a menace".

It's so different with Nigel and Tony
Who both favour tripe and baloney
...........
...........
They love their horse and their pony

Edited by waiting4atickle, May 20 2013, 06:31 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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It's so different with Nigel and Tony
Who both favour tripe and baloney
With sweet chilli sauce
...........
They love their horse and their pony
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Mobson
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It's so different with Nigel and Tony
Who both favour tripe and baloney
With sweet chilli sauce
They eat meat of course...........
They love their horse and their pony
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Mobson
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How shocking to see such destruction
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Norm Deplume
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oooops
Edited by Norm Deplume, May 21 2013, 12:05 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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How shocking to see such destruction
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------------------------------
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And all for a meagre price reduction
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Norm Deplume
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How shocking to see such destruction
For the want of a bit of instruction
------------------------------
.....................................
And all for a meagre price reduction
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Mobson
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How shocking to see such destruction
For the want of a bit of instruction
What an infraction!
.....................................
And all for a meagre price reduction
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Norm Deplume
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How shocking to see such destruction
For the want of a bit of instruction
What an infraction!
No need for such action!
And all for a meagre price reduction



I must think of a good first line
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Caro

I must think of a good first line
-----------------------------
It better be witty
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-----------------------------
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dai Cottomy
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I must think of a good first line
Once again the choice has to be mine
It better be witty
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-----------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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I must think of a good first line
Once again the choice has to be mine
It better be witty
Like 'Sex In The City'
-----------------------------
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Mobson
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I must think of a good first line
Once again the choice has to be mine
It better be witty
Like 'Sex In The City'
And beat to the rhythm of time
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Mobson
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..............................................
..............................................
When inspiration is lacking
.....................................
...............................................
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Norm Deplume
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The good days of my youth have long gone
..............................................
When inspiration is lacking
.....................................
...............................................
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Mobson
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The good days of my youth have long gone
With no teeth, it's with my nails I hold on
When inspiration is lacking
.....................................
...............................................
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Norm Deplume
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The good days of my youth have long gone
With no teeth, it's with my nails I hold on
When inspiration is lacking
I can't seem to get cracking
...............................................
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waiting4atickle
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The good days of my youth have long gone
With no teeth, it's with my nails I hold on
When inspiration is lacking
I can't seem to get cracking
And no more will I play the Don Juan.


-----------------------------------
-----------------------------------
When a pretty, young blonde
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-----------------------------------

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dai Cottomy
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-----------------------------------
-----------------------------------
When a pretty, young blonde
Of whom I was fond
----------------------------------
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Mobson
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-----------------------------------
-----------------------------------
When a pretty, young blonde
Of whom I was fond
Took pity and helped me along
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Norm Deplume
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-----------------------------------
I was walking while singing a song
When a pretty, young blonde
Of whom I was fond
Took pity and helped me along
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Mobson
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On a recent trip to Hong Kong
I was walking while singing a song
When a pretty, young blonde
Of whom I was fond
Took pity and helped me along
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Mobson
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Well done to young Joe Root
........................................
..................
..................
.........................................

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tafkaj

Well done to young Joe Root
........................................
..................
..................
And the after-match party's a hoot.
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Norm Deplume
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Well done to young Joe Root
A cricketer of deserved repoot
..................
..................
And the after-match party's a hoot.



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waiting4atickle
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Well done to young Joe Root
A cricketer of deserved repoot
On scoring a ton
..................
And the after-match party's a hoot.

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Mobson
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Well done to young Joe Root
A cricketer of deserved repoot
On scoring a ton
England won..................
And the after-match party's a hoot.

Edited by Mobson, May 29 2013, 09:25 AM.
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Mobson
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I'm fed up wearing me 'winter's'
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dai Cottomy
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I'm fed up wearing me 'winter's'
----------------------------------------
I'll cast my first clout
--------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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I'm fed up wearing me 'winter's'
Much rather be wearing me 'sprinters'
I'll cast my first clout
--------------------------
---------------------------------------
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dai Cottomy
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I'm fed up wearing me 'winter's'
Much rather be wearing me 'sprinters'
I'll cast my first clout
When the Sun comes out
---------------------------------------
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waiting4atickle
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I'm fed up wearing me 'winter's'
Much rather be wearing me 'sprinters'
I'll cast my first clout
When the Sun comes out
And just hope I don't get any splinters.


A hunk of a hodman called Hank
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dai Cottomy
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A hunk of a hodman called Hank
Was as thick as a short knotty plank
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-----------------
----------------------------

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waiting4atickle
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A hunk of a hodman called Hank
Was as thick as a short knotty plank
Brawny not brainy
-----------------
----------------------------

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Norm Deplume
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A hunk of a hodman called Hank
Was as thick as a short knotty plank
Brawny not brainy
(His name is Mulvaney)
----------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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A hunk of a hodman called Hank
Was as thick as a short knotty plank
Brawny not brainy
(His name is Mulvaney)
He's built like a big Sherman Tank



His mate, who they call 'Little Tootsie'
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dai Cottomy
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His mate, who they call 'Little Tootsie'
Is very fond of playing 'footsie'
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waiting4atickle
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His mate, who they call 'Little Tootsie'
Is very fond of playing 'footsie'
-------------------
And drops bricks on your toes
-------------------------------------

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dai Cottomy
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His mate, who they call 'Little Tootsie'
Is very fond of playing 'footsie'
He gets hold of your nose
And drops bricks on your toes
-------------------------------------

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Mobson
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His mate, who they call 'Little Tootsie'
Is very fond of playing 'footsie'
He gets hold of your nose
And drops bricks on your toes
Making you an unfortunate amputee
Edited by Mobson, Jun 3 2013, 07:14 PM.
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Mobson
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Manuel is a maverick matador
Edited by Mobson, Jun 3 2013, 07:25 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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Manuel is a maverick matador
He polishes off bulls by the score
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tafkaj

Manuel is a maverick matador
He polishes off bulls by the score
---------------------------
---------------------------
But he hasn't a clue what it's for.
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Mobson
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Manuel is a maverick matador
He polishes off bulls by the score
................................................
He's been given a gizmo
But he hasn't a clue what it's for.
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Caro

Manuel is a maverick matador
He polishes off bulls by the score
In respect of his mo
He's been given a gizmo
But he hasn't a clue what it's for.

--------------------------
--------------------------
He pulls it to pieces
-------------------
--------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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--------------------------
--------------------------
He pulls it to pieces
Not fair, 'twas his niece's
--------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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I once heard a poem so sweet
--------------------------
He pulls it to pieces
Not fair, 'twas his niece's
--------------------------
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Mobson
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I once heard a poem so sweet
--------------------------
He pulls it to pieces
Not fair, 'twas his niece's
She moves to a different beat.
Edited by Mobson, Jun 9 2013, 02:18 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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I once heard a poem so sweet
Which a Philistine trod underfeet
He pulls it to pieces
Not fair, 'twas his niece's
She moves to a different beat.


During Summer in Stratford-on- Avon
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jun 10 2013, 06:39 PM.
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tafkaj

One day I was feeling quite craven
During Summer in Stratford-on- Avon
******************
******************
*******************************

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Mobson
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One day I was feeling quite craven
During Summer in Stratford-on- Avon
Took a girl for a punt
****************
*******************************
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tafkaj

One day I was feeling quite craven
During Summer in Stratford-on- Avon
Took a girl for a punt
****************
And it turned out she hadn't been shaven.
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dai Cottomy
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One day I was feeling quite craven
During Summer in Stratford-on- Avon
Took a girl for a punt
But her manner was blunt
And it turned out she hadn't been shaven.
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dai Cottomy
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A feisty young female from Deal
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Norm Deplume
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A feisty young female from Deal
Had a wimp of a boyfriend, called Neil
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Mobson
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A feisty young female from Deal
Had a wimp of a boyfriend, called Neil
.................................
Whilst playing crazy golf
.....................................................
Edited by Mobson, Jun 11 2013, 10:40 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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A feisty young female from Deal
Had a wimp of a boyfriend, called Neil
An Ozzie named Rolf
Whilst playing crazy golf
.....................................................
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Mobson
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A feisty young female from Deal
Had a wimp of a boyfriend, called Neil
An Ozzie named Rolf
Whilst playing crazy golf
The girlfriend of Neil, Rolf did steal
Attached to this post:
Attachments: Deal_Crazy_Golf.jpg (87.43 KB)
Edited by Mobson, Jun 12 2013, 01:36 PM.
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Mobson
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Neil took it quite badly
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waiting4atickle
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--------------------------------
--------------------------------
Neil took it quite badly
(He loved that girl madly)
--------------------------------

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Norm Deplume
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Seems the feisty young lass was a 'go-er'
--------------------------------
Neil took it quite badly
(He loved that girl madly)
--------------------------------
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waiting4atickle
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Seems the feisty young lass was a 'go-er'
And went off with Rolf to Samoa
Neil took it quite badly
(He loved that girl madly)
--------------------------------

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Norm Deplume
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Seems the feisty young lass was a 'go-er'
And went off with Rolf to Samoa
Neil took it quite badly
(He loved that girl madly)
He packed his bags and took a boat to Bilboa



In Bilboa, he made friends with a Basque
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dai Cottomy
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In Bilboa, he made friends with a Basque
Who went around wearing a mask
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Mobson
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In Bilboa, he made friends with a Basque
Who went around wearing a mask
Her name was Delphina






....*we had an au-pair called Delphina from the Basque country - she came on a week's trial via our agency who simply told us she was from Spain...no sooner had she arrived than her room was filled with banners w protest slogans and hanging on the wall...the Basque flag! She had very short hair and the deepest, gruffest voice I had ever heard... The waft of Gauloises drifting down to me, a non-smoker, was too much, but explained the voice! ...she left the next day... <ninja>
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dai Cottomy
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In Bilboa, he made friends with a Basque
Who went around wearing a mask
Her name was Delphina
Gosh, you should have seen her!


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Norm Deplume
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In Bilboa, he made friends with a Basque
Who went around wearing a mask
Her name was Delphina
Gosh, you should have seen her!...
A red beard and Rioja in a cask

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Norm Deplume
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By this time, Neil was somewhat dejected
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Mobson
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By this time, Neil was somewhat dejected
..........................................................
............
............
Where'er he travelled, he was rejected
Edited by Mobson, Jun 13 2013, 05:13 PM.
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tafkaj

By this time, Neil was somewhat dejected
'Cos his navel was badly affected
............
............
Where'er he travelled, he was rejected
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dai Cottomy
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By this time, Neil was somewhat dejected
'Cos his navel was badly affected
It was clogged up with fluff
............
Where'er he travelled, he was rejected

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Mobson
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By this time, Neil was somewhat dejected
'Cos his navel was badly affected
It was clogged up with fluff
And altho looking buff
Where'er he travelled, he was rejected
Edited by Mobson, Jun 15 2013, 01:27 PM.
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Mobson
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Determined to rectify matters
Edited by Mobson, Jun 15 2013, 01:28 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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Determined to rectify matters
('cos his life really was, in tatters)
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Mobson
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Determined to rectify matters
('cos his life really was, in tatters)
..........
..........
Joining a tribute band to the Platters*




<laugh> *Swear guys after typing this I did a search and what the heck, how current is this!.... .... http://www.courthousenews.com/2013/03/14/55729.htm
Edited by Mobson, Jun 15 2013, 08:55 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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Determined to rectify matters
('cos his life really was, in tatters)
He showered and shaved
..........
Joining a tribute band to the Platters*

Edited by Norm Deplume, Jun 17 2013, 01:41 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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Determined to rectify matters
('cos his life really was, in tatters)
He showered and shaved
Became better behaved
Joining a tribute band to the Platters*


----------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------
Too close for comfort
----------------------------------------------

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Mobson
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----------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------
Too close for comfort
So tense and so taut
----------------------------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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----------------------------------------------
The night watch were patrolling their beat
Too close for comfort
So tense and so taut
----------------------------------------------
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waiting4atickle
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----------------------------------------------
The night watch were patrolling their beat
Too close for comfort
So tense and so taut
You could tell there'd be blood on the street.

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Norm Deplume
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'Twas Summer with a surplus of heat
The night watch were patrolling their beat
Too close for comfort
So tense and so taut
You could tell there'd be blood on the street.



The 'hard guys' were flaunting their muscle



Edited by Norm Deplume, Jun 19 2013, 03:06 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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The 'hard guys' were flaunting their muscle
Roaming the streets, looking for a tussle


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waiting4atickle
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The 'hard guys' were flaunting their muscle
Roaming the streets, looking for a tussle
--------------------
--------------------
To the ballet, to see Darcey Bussell.

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becky sharp
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The 'hard guys' were flaunting their muscle
Roaming the streets, looking for a tussle
Knuckledusters were out
--------------------
To the ballet, to see Darcey Bussell.
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waiting4atickle
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The 'hard guys' were flaunting their muscle
Roaming the streets, looking for a tussle
Knuckledusters were out
Then they went, with a shout,
To the ballet, to see Darcey Bussell.


---------------------------------
---------------------------------
-----------------
And then Sadler's Wells
---------------------------------

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Norm Deplume
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---------------------------------
---------------------------------
Bow Church for the bells
And then Sadler's Wells
---------------------------------
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jun 20 2013, 05:04 PM.
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