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Clerihews
Topic Started: Oct 19 2012, 12:47 PM (13,162 Views)
rumbaba
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The Prince of Wales
often regales
Government ministers with his buffoonery
exposing himself to the risk of lampoonery
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Rikiiboy
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Tony Blair
Thinks the UK doesn't care
As over Syria we're hesitant
And intervene he can't.

Tony Blair
Syria? we won't be there
But....remembering they were in heaven
Celebrating on the streets after 9/11.

https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=syrians%20celebrate%20after%209%2F11&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&ved=0CDIQtwIwAQ&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dvsq5ZRir-0k&ei=rKApUsCEHIvH7AbtqoHgCA&usg=AFQjCNE_JZwTonnvurMsjLlEh-Kt0DIaEA&sig2=qHtFL2Kbls5a-9SFPNtn2w&bvm=bv.51773540,d.ZG4
Edited by Rikiiboy, Sep 6 2013, 09:32 AM.
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tafkaj

Wayne Rooney
Will find that soon he
Has become a unicorn -
They say that every minute one is born.
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Rikiiboy
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Rolf Harris
Is out on his arris
His painting of our Liz
Has suddenly lost it's fizz.

Rolf Harris
Portait gone from palace
Back to the BBC
Where it disappears mysteriously.

Tokyo - Japan
Get Olympics to plan
Beating Istanbul and Madrid
To twenty twenty bid.

The Duke of York
Is made to talk
When the man in blue
Asks "who the feck are you?"
Edited by Rikiiboy, Sep 8 2013, 09:45 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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Rikiiboy
Sep 6 2013, 08:59 AM
Tony Blair
Thinks the UK doesn't care
As over Syria we're hesitant
And intervene he can't.

Tony Blair
Syria? we won't be there
But....remembering they were in heaven
Celebrating on the streets after 9/11.

https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=syrians%20celebrate%20after%209%2F11&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&ved=0CDIQtwIwAQ&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dvsq5ZRir-0k&ei=rKApUsCEHIvH7AbtqoHgCA&usg=AFQjCNE_JZwTonnvurMsjLlEh-Kt0DIaEA&sig2=qHtFL2Kbls5a-9SFPNtn2w&bvm=bv.51773540,d.ZG4

I'm not sure why they would have been celebrating the events of "9/11" on 14 December 2012.

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Rikiiboy
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(Sandy Hook,tickle??????)


George Osborne
Of Lib-Con spawn
The UK is turning a corner?
They say there's on born every minute,err?
Edited by Rikiiboy, Sep 9 2013, 08:36 AM.
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Rikiiboy
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Ed Miliband
Living in cloud cuckoo land
GMB's Kenny has no doubt
EM's decisions made up after night out.
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Rikiiboy
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Vladimir Putin
Lets his mouth do the shootin'
Showing Obama he's a canny bloke
Delivering a Syrian master stroke.
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Rikiiboy
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Victoria Newton
Has got her Sun day suit on
It's not the news of the world
That has got her toes uncurled.

Angela Merkel
The old Turtle
Is sticking her neck out again
and leading the polls,it's plain.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Sep 13 2013, 02:36 PM.
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tafkaj

Vladimir Putin
Wants no shootin';
Two-faced git -
He left Georgia, Chechnya and Ingushetia in the shit.
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rumbaba
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Nick Clegg
is like a square tory peg
in a round liberal hole
now that he has sold his soul
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tafkaj

Manu Tuilagi
Is likely to hang -he
Made a fool
Of a PM trying to look cool.

Bunny ears, not funny ears ...
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rumbaba
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Doc Wu
where are you?
If anyone asks, I will say
you are writing a play
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tafkaj

Messageboard Peta
Likes a fajita,
Which is why she's leaving to go
To, amongst other places, Mexico.

Another host bites the dust ...
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rumbaba
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The Aga Khan
was a big fan
of horses
for courses
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Rikiiboy
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Bill Walker
Not much of a talker
Has no excuse
Gets twelve months for abuse.

Gordon Brown
Tried to bring Blair down
Then got a fixed frown
From the thorny crown.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Sep 20 2013, 12:09 PM.
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rumbaba
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Damien McBride
has no self-respect or pride
Anything for a quick buck
so what the ...?
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Rikiiboy
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Godfrey Bloom
Is suffering from gloom
Women activists are sluts?
Yea and you're a putz.
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tafkaj

Nigel Farage
Is givin' it large
'Bout Geoffrey Bloom,
For whom he no longer has any room.
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Rikiiboy
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Ed Milliband
To make a stand
But curbs on non EU immigration
Will not improve unemployment situation.
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rumbaba
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Angela Merkel
looks a bit like Studs Terkel
She is on a mission
to form a coalition
Edited by rumbaba, Sep 23 2013, 01:38 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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Samantha Lethwaite
Filled with hate
Met her evil fate
In Kenya's Westgate.......
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tafkaj

Damien McBride
Tells us he lied
On Gordon's behalf -
Like we didn't already know ... You've got to laugh!
Edited by tafkaj, Sep 28 2013, 11:38 AM.
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rumbaba
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Damien McBride
floats with the tide
it's his own fault
if everything he says is taken with a pinch of salt
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Rikiiboy
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April Jones
Your coffin bears no bones
We've Mark Bridger instead
Inside, untill he's dead?
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rumbaba
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<rose>
Edited by rumbaba, Sep 26 2013, 12:35 PM.
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tafkaj

Bill Gates
Apparently hates
Ctrl+Alt+Del -
He wanted a single button to achieve the same feat.

Ctrl+Alt+Del ...
Edited by tafkaj, Oct 5 2013, 11:45 AM.
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Rikiiboy
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George Osborne
Blows his big horn
For job seekers allowance
learn street cleaning and kow-tow ance.
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rumbaba
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George Osborne
was born 
with a silver spoon in his mouth but has the temerity
to tell the rest of us that we need more austerity


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rumbaba
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Theresa May
Wore a suit that was grey
what happened to the Thunderbirds Jacket?
I suppose she forgot to pack it

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Rikiiboy
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Michael Gove
Will not solve
The teacher's dispute
With a heavy boot.

President Obama
Heralds more drama
As Obamacare situation
Shuts down US nation.

Boris Johnson
Sports pudding basin haircut on
Says him and Dave make a good team
Dream on me old Bullingdon sunbeam.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Oct 1 2013, 09:47 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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Nigel Farage
Gives it Large
When talking Democracy
It doesn't mean Brussels Bureaucracy
Edited by dai Cottomy, Oct 1 2013, 12:55 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson
Amiable, jocular alumnus of Eton,
Will he with bravura hale and hearty,
Succeed Dave as leader of the Tory Party?

Edited by dai Cottomy, Oct 1 2013, 01:09 PM.
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rumbaba
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Nigel Farage
unleashed a barrage
of abuse at Bill Cash
at a Tory conference fringe bash

Iain Duncan Smith
is rumoured not to get along with
George Osborne, who says that he gets on his wick
because he's a bit thick
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Rikiiboy
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John McCririck
Gets shown the big stick
he'll get no more
Off channel 4.

John McCririck
Behaves like a p***k
His pantomime behaviour
No longer his saviour

John McCririck
Is now feeling sick
His head shakes so much
His neck needs a crutch.....
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Rikiiboy
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Neil Kinnock
Behaves like pillock
Drives Fulham fans round the bend
and gets moved to the Putney end.
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Rikiiboy
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Manuel Pellegrini
Had better cause a scene he
Should get Hart's bags packed
Else he too will be sacked.

Michael Jackson
Ain't coming back son
Not guilty AEG live
They will survive.

E ON
E gone
over 60's to freeze
In new price squeeze. <brickwall>
Edited by Rikiiboy, Oct 3 2013, 04:36 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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John Bercow
No parking know how
As arrogant toff
Tries to knock bumper off.
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tafkaj

Chloe Smith
Perpetuates the myth
That she's not a true Tory -
She's not old and hoary.
Edited by tafkaj, Oct 15 2013, 01:34 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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Jack Wilshere
Hear! hear!
Englishmen for England?
Yes! that'll be grand.
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Rikiiboy
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S S E
Milk Energy
Eight point two percent rise
Really! no suprise.
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Rikiiboy
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Immigration bill
Aint working still
Stop yakking
Send 'em packing!
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Rikiiboy
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Adrian Chiles
Given piles
As Polish wisecrack
Leads to PC attack. <totallyinfuriated>
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Rikiiboy
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George Osborne
Blows his horn
Announcing today
New Chinese takeaway.
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Rikiiboy
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David Cameron
Polishes his grammar on
E U red tape
For 'ealth an' safety escape.
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waiting4atickle
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Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Strongly disagreed with the preacher,
Whose ideas he found mediaeval -
But now he's beyond good and evil.

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dai Cottomy
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No one was more sour
Than Arthur Schopenhauer;
With his inferiors he put on airs
And kicked his housemaid down the stairs.
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tafkaj

Friedrich Nietzsche
Could certainly teach yer
About the coming Superman -
Who knew he was a comicbook fan?
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dai Cottomy
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No one could ever inveigle
Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
Into offering the slightest apology
For his book on Phenomenology
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rumbaba
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Ludwig Wittgenstein
didn't like wine
I don't know why
but he preferred a pork pie
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dai Cottomy
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Soren Kierkegaard
Thought gloomily and hard
Suffered from bad breath.
His last work was Sickness Unto Death.
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Rikiiboy
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Roy Hodgson
Good god son
You left it rather late
But we,re keeping that Rio date.
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Rikiiboy
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Barack Obama
Reappears calmer
As he openns U S door
For business once more.

George Osborne
Has his mind gorn?
Says yes please
To nuclear Chinese. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-24561325
Edited by Rikiiboy, Oct 17 2013, 12:22 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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David Cameron
Hears clamour on
Big six price hike
And says switch if we like. (where else can we go Dave?) <brickwall>

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rumbaba
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Quite!
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Rikiiboy
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Jeremy Browne
Is now out and down
Feeling rather bereft
As other's trollies pull to left.
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Rikiiboy
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Adam Sweater?
Dave's read your letter
But he doesn't get the gist
Of the ragged trousered philanthropist.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Oct 19 2013, 06:50 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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Marie Antoinette, for heaven's sake
Only told the poor to feed on cake
Now Ed Davey has gone one better,
Telling us to put on an extra sweater
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tafkaj

Sally Bercow
Has sunk so low
That she now gives the finger
To journalists who linger.
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Rikiiboy
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Alex Salmond
Of Scotland he's fond
But Scotland's time is now
Ain't working somehow?
Edited by Rikiiboy, Oct 19 2013, 10:45 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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Elizabeth Truss
Tells Clegg not to fuss
Some lib dems don't buy free schools
And want to change the rules.
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tafkaj

David Beckham
Was likely to wreck 'em
So Fergie got rid
Of the prima donna kid.
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Rikiiboy
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Sir John Major
Tory poverty war wager
Calls for energy windfall tax
And fat cat profit claw backs.
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Rikiiboy
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William and Kate
Kept their date
Drowning prince George
With the Queen's applause.

David Cameron
Drops the hammer on
Green energy tax
And gets Liberals on Tory backs.

Union boss
Causes Grangemouth loss
As refusal to make a cut
Results in plant being shut.

Andrew Mitchell
He's a witch he'll
Have those pleb coppers bent over
And butter 'em with clover...

Meanwhile at the palace....

Ian Holloway
Well he gorraway
He said "I can't do it"
And then he quit... <cool>

Pat Rafferty
Made Huge gaff has he?
May yet eat humble pie
Or watch Grangemouth die.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Oct 23 2013, 10:15 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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Maddie McCann
A new search plan
As Portuguese police
Investigations increase.

Kate and Gerry
Were making merry
As poor Maddie
Was snatched by a baddie.

Alan Davies
Couldn't save his
13 k up the Creek
Fined for retext speak.

Jim Ratcliffe
Handles striker's tiff
All now going as planned
Unionists eating out of his hand?

Sir Alex Ferguson
May splurge on you son
But now it's fair game
To milk any player's name... <totallyinfuriated>
Edited by Rikiiboy, Oct 24 2013, 10:05 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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Ian Duncan-Smith
In welfare managing tiff
With old John Major
The road cone sager.
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Rikiiboy
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Jack Straw
Stands for election no more
After twenty fifteen
He'll be another has been.

Ray Teret
He's gonna gerrit
Savile's dead
So they've got him instead.

Nick and Dave
Having a rave
Dave wants roll back
Nick gives no slack.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Oct 25 2013, 10:51 PM.
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tafkaj

Ray Teret
Even looks like a ferret;
Girls, would you want him to touch you,
When he looks more likely to cut you?
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Rikiiboy
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Kadir Nurman
You we're the spur man
Coming out the boozer was never drab
With extra chilli sauce on a kebab.
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Rikiiboy
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Gareth Bale
Already up for resale
As Real Madrid
Already want to get rid.


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Rikiiboy
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"Storm brings down crane
On cabinet office" they complain
Surely we all deride
All the wind's inside.

Lou Reed
Has gone indeed
He had his walk on the wildside
As he now takes his last ride.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Oct 28 2013, 12:15 PM.
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tafkaj

Lou Reed
Was lucky, indeed;
When he talked about "all the coloured girls"
He wasn't attacked by those PC churls.
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Rikiiboy
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Michael Fish?
Be careful for what you wish
As I'll say I beg your pardon
As today a tree fell in his garden.
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Rikiiboy
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Ross Brawn
Seeks new dawn
As contract ends
With Mercedes Benz.

Sharon Shoesmith
Wins employment tiff
And has six hundred grand
In her welcoming hand.

Jeremy Hunt
Fails in hospital stunt
Lacking power to attack
In hospital cut back.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Oct 29 2013, 12:42 PM.
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tafkaj

Ross Brawn
Will tend his lawn
Now he's leaving Mercedes -
Or he could chase the ladies.
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Rikiiboy
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Rebekah Brooks
Cooked the books?
Coulson knew
About the stew?
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Rikiiboy
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Kirsty Wark
She can Talk
From October chiller
To Halloween thriller.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-24768436

R B S ?
Still in a mess
Does a 38b ring fence
Make any sense ?

James Anderson
It aint propaganda son
That fancy Jaguar
Nicked for speeding,in the bag you are!
Edited by Rikiiboy, Nov 1 2013, 05:02 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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Martin O Neil
Signs Irish team deal
With Roy Keane
To make 'em mean. <totallyinfuriated>

Hakimullah Mehsud
He was up to no good
Now an unmanned drone
Knocks him off his throne.

Paul Gambaccini
Was arrested and in between he
Was released and given bail
We're without any fine detail.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Nov 2 2013, 11:21 AM.
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tafkaj

Roy Keane,
Last seen
With Adrian Chiles,
Won't be creating many Irish smiles.
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Rikiiboy
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Boris Johnson
Has totally gone son
He has a dream of Boris island
We all wish he'd move to Thailand.
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Rikiiboy
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Theresa May
No matter what you say
You'll know that it's true
Mohammed Ahmed Mohamed made a burka out of you.

Sven-Goran Eriksson
You are just a relic son
England no chance in 2014 ?
Aint you got no boots to clean ?

Sam Cameron
Heaps the glamour on
Sporting a sari
For Dewali. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24810905
Edited by Rikiiboy, Nov 4 2013, 10:46 PM.
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tafkaj

Virtual Sweetie
Turned up the heatie [wot?!]
On those predatory gits
And manipulative shits.
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Rikiiboy
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Mark Byford
He can certainly afford
A life now much grander
With his beeb one million backhander.

Parliamentry mp's
Are well known to sneeze
And the cause of their snotty stuff
Quite a few sniffs of free snuff. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-24713932

Guy Fawkes
We'd still be popping corks
If you weren't such a knob
and had completed the job.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Nov 6 2013, 10:57 AM.
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Rikiiboy
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Portsmouth docks
Job loss shocks
Scottish workers win
Till independence talks begin?
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Rikiiboy
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Yasser Arafat
It's unestablished that
Polonium death "more soap opera than science"
Says Israel in defiance.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Nov 6 2013, 11:19 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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Mullah Fazlullah
Well glory hallelujah
Another leader to reign
With an evil religious campaign.
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Rikiiboy
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Ken Dodd
The last music hall bod
Don't call him eccentric
Or you'll get the tickling stick.
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Rikiiboy
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The un-named marine?
Yes! war is obscene
Those who think it's a disgrace
Should Have been in his place.


http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/shocking-suicide-toll-on-combat-veterans-1746475.html
Edited by Rikiiboy, Nov 9 2013, 07:39 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Fifty years gone no remedy
Was it Lee Harvey Oswald
Or is the real tale still untold ?
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Rikiiboy
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David Myers
Strictly punter's tires
After judges dislike
He's on his bike.

Nadhim Zahawi
We're not stupid are we
You might be paying back tax
But your still on our backs.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Nov 10 2013, 08:09 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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Sir John Major
Has lost I'll wager
As public school boys
Make all the new noise.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-24896266
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Rikiiboy
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Margret Thatcher
The get rich quick hatcher
Her energy programme's complete
As they're milking the poor a treat.

("Let's sell off the water"
"-Do you really think we ought'er"?
"-Well,it will do the trick"
"-what of the poor"?-"ohh they're thick")

Edited by Rikiiboy, Nov 12 2013, 09:51 AM.
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Rikiiboy
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Monty Don
Now Titchmarsh has gone
Will be now letting all know
About Chelsea flower show.
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Rikiiboy
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John McCririck
He got some stick
As the tribunal got dirty
He's on shanks's pony tommorow in the three thirty. <violin>
Edited by Rikiiboy, Nov 13 2013, 06:55 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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Grace Jones
Made britain's old bones
Passed away at a hundred and thirteen
Bermondsey's this years oldest queen.

Nick Clegg
Starts to beg
That Roma immigration
Wont upset nation.

Boris Johnson
What have you done son?
As fifth cyclist killed in nine days
On London's unsafe highways.

Charles the third?
It may yet be heard
Happy birthday we're thinking
For our one day new King?
Edited by Rikiiboy, Nov 14 2013, 05:59 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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Princess Anne
As ever a riding fan
And of course
Wants one to eat horse.

Frank Lampard
Always try hard
A super chap
To get England gold cap.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Nov 14 2013, 11:40 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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Sachin Tendulkar
India's cricket super star
Held the total admiration
Of entire Hindu nation. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/24970365
Edited by Rikiiboy, Nov 16 2013, 01:32 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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Irfaq Naz
Was a little peeved as
He had hammers, kitchen knives, a machete, a samurai sword , and a 950,000-volt stun gun
To get David Cameron.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Nov 16 2013, 05:29 PM.
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tafkaj

Grace Jones
Remembered the first phones;
Thank goodness hula-hooping
Wasn't exactly her thing.
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Rikiiboy
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Paul Flowers
Loses powers
After splashing cash
For rent boy thrash.

Rob Ford
Should fall on his sword
After crack cocaine
Has sh*gged his brain.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Nov 20 2013, 10:50 AM.
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Rikiiboy
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Emma May
Made to pay
After cycle bashing tweet
Gets her nicked a treat.

Jeremy Paxman
Be sure of the facts man
As university challenge show
Gives wrong answer we know.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Nov 20 2013, 07:49 PM.
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