Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Add Reply
Clerihews
Topic Started: Oct 19 2012, 12:47 PM (13,159 Views)
rumbaba
Member Avatar

The Prince of Wales
often regales
Government ministers with his buffoonery
exposing himself to the risk of lampoonery
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Replies:
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

David Mellor
Grumpy fella
Had a go at a cabbie
While feeling crabby.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Andrew Mitchell
This little glitch'll
Soon pass you by
Just pay the two million and don't cry.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Nov 28 2014, 02:21 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Gordon Brown
Is stepping down
Thanks Gordo
For the superman underwear show.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Dec 1 2014, 11:12 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Tony Blair?
He's still there
But trying hard
Grimacing on his Christmas card.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Nick Clegg
Get your cap out and beg
'cus' your useless with our money
And it's no longer funny.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Linda cook
Has got the look
As she grows her misstache
For prostrate cancer cash.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-30308935
Edited by Rikiiboy, Dec 4 2014, 05:20 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Sir Elton John
Whoooops! he's gone
Red, after a fall
Off his chair in the Albert Hall.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Alx Salmond
Wont break the bond
With the sixty five grand
He had in his hand. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/SNP/11281111/Alex-Salmond-refuses-to-repay-65000-golden-goodbye.html

Sinead O'Connor
Now has the honour
Of joining Sinn Fein
Nothing reminds me of you again.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Dec 9 2014, 04:24 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

The C I A
Admit foul play
George Bush didn't know
About Guantanamo? LOL.

Ed Milliband
Has Labour's manifesto planned
Re our national debt
He ain't figured that out yet.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Dec 11 2014, 10:42 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Reverend Libby Lane
Has made a gain
As the first female bishop
With Stockport to dish up?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Dr Simon Campbell
He has done damn well
Knighted by the queen
For erecting Phil's has been?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
rumbaba
Member Avatar

Lady Butler-Sloss
Wanted to be the boss
of the enquiry into child abuse
but, because she is so closely connected with 'The Establishment', she would have been no use
Edited by rumbaba, Jan 2 2015, 11:03 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
rumbaba
Member Avatar

Paolo Nutini
had hair like Manuel Pelligrini
but now it is rumoured
his hair has been 'Joe-Strummered'
Edited by rumbaba, Jan 13 2015, 01:28 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Cameron and Milliband
Won't take the TV stand
Demanding the Greens
Or Farage will make them has beens.

Nigel Farage
Likes giving it large
As Dave and Ed
Are both playing dead.

The Green party
Make the others all farty
As Dave gets the hump
While Ed fires off from his rump.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Jan 14 2015, 06:48 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Elliot Spencer
No longer needs a censor
He'll be alright
He's Frying tonight!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Chilcot?
Yer what?
What did you say?
Nowt! yer've got to wait till after May!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Cambridge united
Are rather excited
After red faced Van Gaal
Fails to enthrall.

Cambridge united
Are feeling delighted
Man U's failure to score
Leaves yellows wanting more.


Manchester United
Questions are invited
About the derision
Over their failure to beat a team in the second division. <laugh>
Edited by Rikiiboy, Jan 24 2015, 07:14 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
rumbaba
Member Avatar

<ok>
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


Jose Mourinho
Has nowhere to go.
Will he dare show his face
After such a disgrace?

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Paul Gadd
He's been really bad
Now he'll get a new cell block
Where he can rock around the clock?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Eddie Redmayne
Gets BAFTA gain
While Benedict Cumberbatch
Is no match.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Samsung?
Hold your tongue
A telly with ears?
The worst of your fears!

HSBC!
Please come and save me
A few job from the taxman
So I can relax man!
Edited by Rikiiboy, Feb 10 2015, 04:11 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Paul Lambert
What a squirt?
Villa fans are showing elation
Even though they're facing relegation!

Fifty Shades?
The drama fades
As viewers warn
There's not enough porn!
Edited by Rikiiboy, Feb 12 2015, 11:10 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Ed Balls
Will grab your smalls
With no back down
On tax evasion crack down!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Wayne Rooney
Pretty soon he
Will perfect his technique
With the perfect dive of the week!

Ed Milliband
Will shake your hand
If you get a receipt
For kissing Balls' feet!


Edited by Rikiiboy, Feb 17 2015, 08:23 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

John Prescott
Just like snot
He's sticking to Milliband
To give him a hand.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Rifkind and Straw
Filmed by channel four
Coming up to the plate
For fake Chinese bait.

Rifkind and Straw
Have been asking for more
Are filmed going astray
For Chinese take away.

Two knights of the realm
Former leaders of the helm
Deny any wrong doing
Now the press are pursuing!
Edited by Rikiiboy, Feb 23 2015, 03:22 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Bruce Forsythe
What a life?
Still celebrating at eighty seven
With a pink panther, heaven?

Rolf Harris
Continues to embarrass
He now loses his regalia
As officer and Member of the Order of Australia.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Feb 23 2015, 05:45 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Sir Malcolm Rifkind
He has sinned
From security committee chairman
To I was totally unaware man!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Russell Crowe
Off you go!
We know your excited
But you ain't buying Leeds United.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Jihadi John
Where has all the other news gone?
While we wage this one man war
Other's are walking in and out our door.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Harrison Ford
Is on the "fine" board
After crashing his plane
He's on the eighth hole again!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Jeremy Clarkson
You're in the dark son
As producer punch
Puts you out to lunch.

Jeremy Clarkson
You'd better hark son
It'll cost you dear
Being stuck in bottom gear.

Hammond and May
Have their say
May: it's not that serious
Little voice Hammond: that's from both of us.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Mar 11 2015, 04:42 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
rumbaba
Member Avatar

<ok>
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Balls to the SNP
Talking jocularly
As Cameron prepares to abandon ship
Unless he can be rescued by UKIP?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Jeremy Clarkson
You're out in the dark son
With a boot up your rear
You're out of top gear.

Chris Evans
Good heavens!
Will I watch the new top gear?
No fear!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Tony Hall
You know stab all
In sacking your biggest star
We now know how dumb you are.

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
rumbaba
Member Avatar

Ed Milliband
thought his campaign was too bland
but most of the party want to disown
his plan to cast the manifesto in stone
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
rumbaba
Member Avatar

Ed Miliband
Ventured into no-mans-land
With his tombstone and has to face
It has left him between a rock and a hard place
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Ed Milliband
Needs Sturgeon's hand
If he wants to beat Dave
He'll become Nicola's slave.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Ed Milliband
Fails to make a stand
And his tablet of stone they say
Is now up for sale on ebay.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Hapless Ed Milliband
Had his Custer's last stand
Because the silly a**e
Forgot the middle class
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Chuka Umunna
We've heard a rumour
That he wants the hot seat
After the fledgling's defeat.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Nigel Farage
Back in charge
After resignation slip
Thrown out by UKIP.

Theresa May
Has her say
Off she rants
NO MORE MED MIGRANTS!
Edited by Rikiiboy, May 12 2015, 10:43 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

When talking aboutl Farage
You rhyme it with garage
But from Hoxton to Harwich
People call it a garridge
Edited by dai Cottomy, May 17 2015, 02:31 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Hugh Jampton
Member Avatar

I'm trying to get back
I find it hard tack
But I have no lack
Of herners to whack
Edited by Hugh Jampton, May 19 2015, 09:40 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

63% Of Eire say
Yes! we are gay
Would that be your fanny nanny
Or your bummy chummy?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

dai Cottomy
May 17 2015, 02:28 PM
When talking aboutl Farage
You rhyme it with garage
But from Hoxton to Harwich
People call it a garridge
Nigel Farage
Might well be at large
Even stuck on a ridge
But he still don't rhyme with fridge!
Edited by Rikiiboy, May 25 2015, 12:06 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Sepp Blatter
What's the matter
What's the score
You're not singing anymore!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Chris Evans?
Good heavens!
Is the new presenter we hear
Of the all new Flop Gear.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Cherie Blair
Fails at health care
Losing business trust
As her company goes bust.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Laura Bassett
Knows how to ass it
As semifinal stole
With last minute own goal.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Dustin Brown
Dents Nadal's crown
Ranked only one hundred and two
Yet he still stuffed you!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Queen Victoria
Ooh! the euphoria
As auctioned used pants demand
Just over twelve grand.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Jul 11 2015, 10:53 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Fabian Delph
Pleases himself
But it'll be such a wrench
Sitting on Man city's subs bench.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
rumbaba
Member Avatar

<ok>
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Hugh Jampton
May 19 2015, 09:39 PM
I'm trying to get back
I find it hard tack
But I have no lack
Of herners to whack.

Hi all, sadly this poster AKA Stout Cortez, passed away aged 81 yoa, on June 15/2015. RIP. S-C.

http://sinsoriginals.proboards.com/thread/1960/stout-cortez-last-trump
Edited by Rikiiboy, Jul 18 2015, 10:46 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Boris Johnson
Comb your bonce son
Listen to Osborne and May
And throw that water cannon away!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Fabian Delph
Injures himself
On debut poor thing
He pulls a hamstring. <whistles>
Edited by Rikiiboy, Jul 24 2015, 03:17 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Lord Sewel
Has been a fool
Filmed snorting hits
With a fiver from a woman's tits!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Walter Palmer
Animal harmer
He kills a lion with a crossbow
So it can die nice and slow.

Walter Palmer
A dentist's drama
Want to improve your bite
With new lion's teeth you might?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Jeremy Clarkson
Is out for a lark son
Him, Hammond and May have gone
To deliver parcels for Amazon.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Sir Edward Heath
What lurks beneath
As cries of sexual exploitation
Stun the nation!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

George Osborne
Your bloody brain's gorn
Selling the RBS cheap is rotten
And will ne'er be forgotten.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Camila Batmanghelidjh
Her dreams have turned to jelly
kids company's doors are shut
As business goes kaput.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


The 1st Duke of Clarence
Lost his balance
And fell in a butt of wine -
Or so some people opine.

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Tom Jones
He moans and groans
He has no choice
After being sacked from the voice.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Jeremy Corbyn
His name gets a daubin'
Another left winger
Squeezed in our political wringer.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Rebekah Brooks
With her striking looks
Is back again
To the incredulity of the Hacked Off Campaign

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Reg Chronotis

Harriet Harman
Has oft led off alarmin'
As an equal opportunist.
(Did you know her daughter's a bassoonist?)
Edited by Reg Chronotis, Sep 12 2015, 11:23 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Jeremy Corbyn
Is now absorbin'
His role agin Cameron and Farage
Now he's "left" in charge.

The Labour party
No more arty farty
No more leaning to the right
Goodnight Blairite!
Edited by Rikiiboy, Sep 12 2015, 10:09 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Reg Chronotis

Ed Milliband
Jerks his head from the sand
And offers support to
JC, because he thinks he ought to.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Angela Merkel
Turns turtle
On her back and tits out
As "border controls!" Germans shout.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Chris Harper Mercer
There ain't nothing worser
Than a yank with a gun
Killing students just for fun.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Stuart Lancaster
What a blooming disaster
As England get wiped out
His job must be in doubt!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


Stuart Lancaster
Led our boys to disaster
Then sent them home to their mommas,
To be known henceforth as Lancaster bombers.

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Jurgen Klopp
King of the kop
As Liverpool seal
Three year deal.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Vladimir Putin
One out of ten for shootin'
As rocket firing plan
Misfires in Iran.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Craig Joubert
Causes Scottish hurt
As wrong rugby penalty decision
Shows up his lack of vision.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Xi Jinping
He makes Cameron sing
With number ten's seal
On one third Chinese ownership deal.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

(UK) Corbynisation
Lacks realisation
As he answers Syrian crisis revolution
With an Obama question not a genuine solution.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Jeremy Corbyn
Your name the press have been daubin'
Now they have you by the throat
Over the Syrian free vote?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Donald J Trump
Is a bit of a chump
Waving his hair like a banner
All the rednecks cry 'hosanna!'
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
rumbaba
Member Avatar

Nice one Dai <ok>
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

José Mourinho
Was the chosen one we know
For Ambromovich to get rid
Will now cost quite a few million quid.

José Mourinho
Had to be let go
He to take the blame
And leaves the bridge in shame.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Van Gaal
Boy! Can he snarl
Man U are loosing but when asked why
He walks telling the press to enjoy the wine and a mince pie.(goodbye!)
Edited by Rikiiboy, Dec 24 2015, 08:37 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Greg Dyke
On yer bike
Your overseeing the FA
Has had it's day.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Jan 28 2016, 04:45 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Sir Terry Wogan
Left his final slogan
"Everything's alright old boy"
We thank you and goodnight old boy!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

David Cameron
Is that camera on
Because our European shout
Is out out out!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Cameron to Corbyn
Put your clothes in your bin
Come on me old fruit
Get yourself a whistle and flute!
Edited by Rikiiboy, Feb 24 2016, 05:47 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Tony Blackburn
Now it's your turn
To be sacked by the BBC
For not remembering their fantasy.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Feb 27 2016, 05:47 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


Claudio Ranieri
Is looking increasingly cheery.
The reason is easily deduced:
His Foxes are ruling the roost.

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
rumbaba
Member Avatar

George Martin
objected to fartin'
and other impoliteness
while recording was in progress
Edited by rumbaba, Mar 9 2016, 08:37 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Michael Gove
By jove!
Sharing Queen's brexit views
May bring his own exit news?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Iain Duncan Smith
Dispels the old myth
By showing us he has the guts
By resigning over disabled benefit cuts.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Mar 18 2016, 11:13 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
rumbaba
Member Avatar

Stephen Crabbe
was eating a kebab
when he heard he was replacing the dour
former minister for punishing the poor
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Hapless George Osborne
Looks quite forlorn
Tried to woo the middle class
But came a cropper, alack and alas!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Donald Trump
Gives other candidates the hump
With all their hope now gone
After getting farted on!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

Justin Welby
He now well be
But a DNA test
Reveals Anthony Montague Browne had been in that nest!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Rikiiboy
Member Avatar

David Cameron
Now the Glamour's gone
With Panamanian financial affairs
Akin to the three bears!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Free Forums. Reliable service with over 8 years of experience.
Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · Mornington Crescent · Next Topic »
Add Reply