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Clerihews
Topic Started: Oct 19 2012, 12:47 PM (13,157 Views)
rumbaba
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The Prince of Wales
often regales
Government ministers with his buffoonery
exposing himself to the risk of lampoonery
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Rikiiboy
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Claudio Ranieri
A true visionary
He made the dream come true
For his Leicester boys in blue.
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Rikiiboy
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Claudio Ranieri
He's way beyond compare he
Was five thousand to one
But he still went and won!
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Rikiiboy
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Sadiq Khan
Like a fairy tale yarn
From Tooting without a prayer
To the London mayor!
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rumbaba
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Zac Goldsmith
Likes to promote the myth
That he is something other than an underachieving, rich, posh dillitante
Who's only previous 'job' was provided by his uncle and auntie
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rumbaba
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Laura K
I noticed today
That the way you tell the story
Is resolutely pro-tory
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rumbaba
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Michael Gove
has a mirror in an alcove
so he can see the only person that
doesn't think he is a complete twat
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rumbaba
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Prince Harry
can't find someone to marry
because of the confusion
caused by press intrusion
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dai Cottomy
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H.M The Queen
Is calm and serene
Although not a prude
She thinks Chinese officials "very rude"
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rumbaba
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Mark Carney
Has started a barney
Over EU fears
Upsetting the swivelled-eyed brexiteers
Edited by rumbaba, May 12 2016, 04:50 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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Joe and Jake
Boy! Was that a mistake
They finished third
From the bottom,that's absurd!
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Rikiiboy
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Max Ver Stappen
How did it happen?
Schoolboy wins Spanish Gran Prix
After Mercedes crashing spree!
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Rikiiboy
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Manchester united
Got over excited
Now left with a red face
Over fake bomb disgrace.
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rumbaba
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Donald Trump
got the hump
And said Cameron should
apologise for being rude
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Rikiiboy
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Muhammad Ali
Could float like a butterfly and sting like a bee
He started out as Cassius Clay
But fight in Vietnam? No way?
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Rikiiboy
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Gareth Bale
Boy did he fail
He thought the Welsh had a bigger heart
But they forgot about the last minute part.
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waiting4atickle
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Gareth Bale
Made Joe Hart flounder like a beached whale
But it wasn't enough
In the end our substitutes did their stuff

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rumbaba
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Gianluigi Buffon
Just goes on and on
His hair is now shorter at the back
But is still unnaturally black
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rumbaba
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Mark Clattenburg
Likes a slice of Battenberg
Being a fan of gimmickry
And asymmetry
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Rikiiboy
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Roy Hodgson
Has had his codged run
And now finally resigned
After Icelandic grind!
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Rikiiboy
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Nigel Farage
Gives the EU a barrage
Reminding them how
They're not laughing now!
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Rikiiboy
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Michael Gove
Has surely drove
His former brexiteer
Boris, to crying in his beer.

Michael Gove
Is cunning by Jove
He gets Boris the geezer
Like Julius Caesar.

Theresa May
Get Gove out the way
But Leadsom,Fox and Crabb
May also try and make a grab.

Edited by Rikiiboy, Jun 30 2016, 05:40 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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Nigel Farage
Is back at large
With UKIP exit
After EU brexit.

Chris Evans
Good heavens
He leaves flop gear
Good news we cheer!

Oscar Pistorius
Still looks victorious
After stump walk manages to foil it
With only six years for murder in toilet.
Edited by Rikiiboy, Jul 6 2016, 09:42 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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Sandro Botticelli
Never had chance to go on the telly
But his paintings have been so acclaimed
He's sure to have done well on "You've Been Framed".



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Rikiiboy
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Michael Gove
Watched as confidence dove
After only forty eight votes
He'd burnt his boats.

May verses Leadsom
Votes,she may need some
Handbags at dawn
More like a big yawn!
Edited by Rikiiboy, Jul 7 2016, 10:35 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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Andrea Leadsom
Had kids and fed some
But had to pull out of PM race
After childless May disgrace.
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waiting4atickle
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Theresa May
Some people say,
While others retort "What rot!"
As they think Theresa may not.

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Rikiiboy
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David Cameron
Has left the cat and the camera on
And left a bottle of bolly at number ten to say
Cheers to the new PM Theresa May
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Rikiiboy
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Stephen Crabb
After stupid blab
Is left vexing
After sext texting.
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Rikiiboy
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Angela Eagle
Versus Smith and Corbyn the seagull
Now she has dropped out of sight
Leaving Corbyn to S**t on Smith from a great height!
Edited by Rikiiboy, Jul 19 2016, 09:49 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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Theresa May
At PM's question time today
Made her debut choice
Speaking in a Thatcheresque voice!
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Rikiiboy
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Donald Trump
Gives the do gooders a thump
As he ends nomination race
Promising a wall for Whitehouse place.
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rumbaba
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Politics is beyond satire now. The madness of brexit, which is wrecking our economy, Boris 'court jester' Johnson as foreign secretary and the possibility of a complete arsehole in the White House. I don't have the heart for it anymore.
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Rikiiboy
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Hillary Clinton
Nominated for another stint on
The Whitehouse couch
What memories ? Ouch!

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Douglas
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Nicola Sturgeon
Has a great urge on
To tell fanciful stories
To discomfit the Tories.
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Douglas
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Theresa May
Wanted to stay
But now she runs Brexit.
Too bad if she wrecks it.
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Douglas
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Donald Trump
Gives me the hump.
If he gets elected,
I'll be very dejected.
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Douglas
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Margaret Thatcher.
There's been no-one to match her
But Theresa May
Might do it some day.
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Douglas
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Boris Johnson
Was singing his swan-song,
Or so we thought
But now look what he's got.
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Douglas
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Vladimir Putin
Has put the boot in
To prop up Assad.
How sad !
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Douglas
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Hillary Clinton
Is spending a mint on
Trying to persuade the floaters
To turn out as her voters.
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Douglas
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Mary Whitehouse
Was excessively righteous.
She sought to win laurels
By improving our morals.
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Rikiiboy
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Jeremy Taxman
The sardonic axeman
Who cannot tell
If he has a pissy smell.


http://dailym.ai/2bLTjwj Pensioners are 'virtual corpses' riddled with 'incontinence and idiocy' says Jeremy Paxman… but at ... #MailOnline
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Douglas
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Amber Rudd
I'm sure is no dud.
I don't think she'll bungle
The talks on the Jungle.
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rumbaba
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Liam Fox
thinks British business should pull up its socks
but the UK's business leaders
think he is one of life's annoying little bleeders
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Rikiiboy
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Jeremy Corbyn
How absorbing
He's again in the position
To offer no serious opposition!


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Rikiiboy
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Theresa May
There's no more play
Now it's the acid test
And the stabproof vest!
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waiting4atickle
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Jeremy Corbyn
Has secured yet one more win;
The comrades are drumming
To celebrate JC's second coming.

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Rikiiboy
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Matt Le-Blanc
Let's be frank
He was never a friend
Is this top gear's end?
Edited by Rikiiboy, Sep 26 2016, 12:56 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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Sam Allardyce
Should have thought twice
After only 67 days and one game
He brought on England, great shame!
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Rikiiboy
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Sam Allardyce
That's nice
One million pound for one game
Boy! I wish my earnings were the same.
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Rikiiboy
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Diane James
Played U Kip leadership games
But found no one to assist her
When spat on by a Corbynister!
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Rikiiboy
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Jeremy Corbyn
He is so absorbin'
This left wing arty carry
Has bamboozled the Labour party!
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rumbaba
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Bob Dylan
Didn't discover penicillin
He is a Nobel laureate because the prize-awarding Swedes
Preferred his songs over some cracking good reads.
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Rikiiboy
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Nicola Sturgeon
Has a referendum urge on
All those who voted no
So they can have another go!
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Rikiiboy
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Harry Redknapp
Quite an unobservant chap
As he gets what for
When he drove off with his wife's foot trapped in his car door!
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Rikiiboy
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Sir Philip Green
Wouldn't come clean
He was up to no good
So he was stripped of knighthood.
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rumbaba
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Toby Young
smells like dung
he should have been called 'Duncan' , you know
as in 'dung can make your rhubarb grow'
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Rikiiboy
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Jeremy Clarkson
Has left finger marks on
BBC head's face
By winning top gear race!
Edited by Rikiiboy, Nov 18 2016, 12:25 PM.
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rumbaba
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Theresa May
Intends to stay
And the Tories will let her
Because they have no one better
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waiting4atickle
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Frank de Boer
Came and went in a blur.
Now Woy's at the Palace
With a poisoned chalice.

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dai Cottomy
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Ezra Pound
Whose politics were most unsound
Wrote canto after canto
You can read them, I don't wanto
Edited by dai Cottomy, Sep 23 2017, 01:11 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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When Jacob Rees-Mogg
Was a newborn sprog
The midwife cooed: 'He's cute
In his three-piece suit'
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Rikiiboy
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Theresa May
What's that you say?
Sore throat farce?
Sore throat my arse!
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Rikiiboy
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John Major
Now grey rager
tells colleagues today
It's Corbyn or May.
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waiting4atickle
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Edmund Clerihew Bentley
Invented clerihews accident'ly
During a school experiment
And thereby inspired much merriment.

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waiting4atickle
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Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Used to keep laudanum in his fridge:
In spite of the opprobrium
He couldn't get by without his fix of opium.

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dai Cottomy
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John Stuart Mill,
By a mighty effort of will,
Overcame his natural bonhomie
And wrote "Principles of Political Economy".

E.C.Bentley
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dai Cottomy
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Jacob Rees Mogg
Is something of a pedagogue
As a politico he
Belongs in the eighteenth century
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Rikiiboy
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Ed Milliband
Wants to give Corbyn a hand
He wants front a bench job
To exercise his gob.
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rumbaba
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Jacob Rees-Mogg
Recently had another sprog
Making a total of six
More Rees-Moggs to get on everyone's wicks
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Rikiiboy
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Priti Patel
Now a ne'er-do-well
Not a pretty sight
Fired just after bonfire night.
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dai Cottomy
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Sir Mike Fallon
Likes a glass of Macallen
It makes him feel frisky
But he forgot that whisky is risky
Edited by dai Cottomy, Nov 9 2017, 01:43 PM.
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rumbaba
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Angela Merkel
Failed to sparkle
In her mission
To form a coalition
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dai Cottomy
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Robert Mugabe
Ruined Zimbabwe
Also worth a mention
Is his ten million dollar pension
Edited by dai Cottomy, Nov 26 2017, 07:14 PM.
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rumbaba
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Prince Harry
Is going to marry
An American divorcee
Which is of no interest to me
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dai Cottomy
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Meghan Markle
Makes Harry sparkle
Let's hope she can survive
The Royal bee-hive
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dai Cottomy
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Liam Fox
Wears odd socks;
Apart from that,
He's rather fat.
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rumbaba
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Theresa May
Expressed dismay
When she lost The Commons' vote
.............I'll get my coat
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dai Cottomy
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Foreign Sec. Boris
Is well up on the writings of Horace
But as a diplomat
He's not quite as good at that
Edited by dai Cottomy, Dec 23 2017, 08:39 PM.
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Rikiiboy
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David Warner
In the dunce's corner
Reduced to tears and pain
After sanding his balls again.
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Mobson
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<ok> ... <laugh>
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dai Cottomy
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Rev. Bishop Michael Curry
Caused a bit of a flurry
With words of Love and Fire
Aimed to provoke and inspire
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Mobson
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Good one! <crikey> I thought he'd never end his sermon...the look on the faces of the royals and congregation was classic!!! <eh??>
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