| Tanka Toys; Japanese poetic form: 5 lines, 5-7-5-7-7 syllables | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 27 2012, 12:40 PM (2,408 Views) | |
| tafkaj | Oct 27 2012, 12:40 PM Post #1 |
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We've had haiku and we've got Clerihews - how about some tanka? It's a Japanese poetic form of 5 lines with 5-7-5-7-7 syllables. Let's see how it goes ... ****************************************************************************************************** Now that autumn’s here, I’ll think about making stews; Lentils, parsnips, swede, Large diced pieces of choice beef – Oh, the anticipation! |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 28 2012, 05:46 PM Post #2 |
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Yeah. Right. When we bought toys for the grandchildren they were TONKA toys Taf. Edited by Norm Deplume, Oct 28 2012, 05:50 PM.
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 29 2012, 09:20 AM Post #3 |
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It seems an odd way To write a poem to me - Quite mysterious. As John McEnroe might say, You cannot be serious! Edited by waiting4atickle, Oct 29 2012, 03:07 PM.
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| tafkaj | Oct 30 2012, 03:26 PM Post #4 |
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Those days are gone, Norm; Your grandkids, though, I wager Do not write poems, But now work on building sites Or at a quarry - n'est pas? |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 30 2012, 04:51 PM Post #5 |
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I do like my poems to rhyme For all other I do not have time Philistine though I am I don't really give a damn But to all men, their likes are sublime |
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| Caro | Oct 31 2012, 03:43 AM Post #6 |
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But prose does not rhyme And who would think that it should A poem is free To do just what feels fitting And brings emotional warmth. |
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| tafkaj | Nov 2 2012, 12:37 PM Post #7 |
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... Like you, dear Caro! Your North Island 'synchracies Endear you to us In ways you would not believe. At least, it feels thus to me!
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| Caro | Nov 2 2012, 07:57 PM Post #8 |
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That's all very nice, Heart-warming to me indeed Thank you sir tafkaj Though it's mystifying why - And I do live right down south. [I'll have to be careful what I say to you now, Tafkaj - no more taking you to task for whatever I disagree about!] |
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| tafkaj | Nov 3 2012, 12:09 PM Post #9 |
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Now I'm wondering - Have I got the right Caro? The one I once knew Would not have hesitated To take me to task at will!
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| Caro | Nov 5 2012, 07:55 PM Post #10 |
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I'm not ungrateful; Roses and cuddles are nice. But time for a change A new theme is now needed Elections? crime? or fun times? |
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| Norm Deplume | Nov 5 2012, 07:57 PM Post #11 |
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I think that there is sommat goin' on with you two!!!!!!! |
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| tafkaj | Nov 9 2012, 12:17 PM Post #12 |
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Oh, Norm! You've hit it! But, in future, please pay heed To rules of scansion That tanka writers believe Convey their message. Good man.
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| waiting4atickle | Nov 10 2012, 11:09 AM Post #13 |
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I live in the shade Of next door's sycamore tree. At this time of year, As I watch the leaves cascade, I curse it most heartily. |
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| tafkaj | Nov 10 2012, 01:35 PM Post #14 |
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I share your pain, Sir! Next door's tree leaves their garden Pristine and leaf-free, Depositing it's leaf-load All over my path, not theirs!
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| waiting4atickle | Nov 15 2012, 12:37 AM Post #15 |
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Once upon a time A poet, stuck for a rhyme, Caused a severe storm By inventing a verse form Called tanka - that was a crime. |
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| tafkaj | Nov 17 2012, 02:03 PM Post #16 |
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Could have been worse, though. Luckily, the Japanese Use the double-U Sparingly and do not mind If their poems do not rhyme. |
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| Caro | Nov 21 2012, 08:13 PM Post #17 |
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Confusingly so Five lines makes a limerick I want the rhythm To fit with that style of thing. (And rhythm is hard to spell.) |
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| waiting4atickle | Nov 22 2012, 11:04 PM Post #18 |
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There's people crying, Bleeding, dying on the street*: Yet all some people Seem to be concerned about Is What shall we have to eat? *Corrie is so melodramatic these days. |
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| Caro | Nov 23 2012, 06:35 AM Post #19 |
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A thought well deserved As the turkey thread shows us. Ham, chicken, or lamb Are well worth considering Fish too, or vegan for some. (Haven't watched Coro St for about 20 years, so don't know what it is on about at the moment.) |
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| waiting4atickle | Nov 23 2012, 09:13 AM Post #20 |
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Nor have I, Caro - just thought that last one needed a seasoning of levity. |
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| tafkaj | Dec 1 2012, 01:27 PM Post #21 |
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Want a four-bird roast? The question is: which four birds? If th’smallest’s a goose, You’d have to start with something The size of Thunderbird 2. |
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 3 2012, 01:03 AM Post #22 |
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Christmas is coming And the goose is getting fat; You can wring its neck, But I won't be doing that. I prefer beef, anyway. |
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 3 2012, 01:05 AM Post #23 |
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It's a piece of cake, Or at least you might think so, To fit a new bulb In a car headlamp - but no! They're designed to make you swear. |
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| tafkaj | Dec 4 2012, 02:56 PM Post #24 |
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It could have been worse; You might have had to change tyres; One thing I can't stand Is having to use a jack - They always seem so deadly. |
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 5 2012, 06:41 PM Post #25 |
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At this time of year When the sun's low in the sky, I sometimes find that, In the corner of my eye, I glimpse the hairs on my nose. |
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 9 2012, 09:48 PM Post #26 |
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It's so quiet here - Not like the halcyon days, When folk R B Q'd To make Mornington Crescent The hubbub of the universe. (Yes, I know, there are 8 syllables in the last line - that 'bub' wanted to come in, so I let it. "It's the best way to write poetry, letting things come." ) |
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 10 2012, 01:39 AM Post #27 |
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A beautiful night, Bitter cold but crystal clear, The sky bright with stars: Gazing on them is awesome, But makes me feel very small. Edited by waiting4atickle, Dec 10 2012, 07:37 AM.
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 10 2012, 09:43 PM Post #28 |
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I'm surprised to see, On a cold, frosty morning When the fireside calls, Running down the street in shorts, A postman with flying calves. |
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| Caro | Dec 11 2012, 07:47 PM Post #29 |
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That last one, in particular, is a very nice wee piece of poetry, w4at. Hey ho hey ho hey It's off to work I must go And have for three days. The tourists come with questions And the locals for their books. |
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 11 2012, 08:05 PM Post #30 |
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It was inspired by your tornado report, Caro - and its mention of flying calves. |
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| Caro | Dec 17 2012, 03:12 AM Post #31 |
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Cyclones in Fiji, Dust devil over the hills, Deaths in lakes and drains It's Christmas time's tragedies None as bad as America's. (Well, that's not full of the joys of Xmas, is it? A little town not too far from where I live, Cromwell, had what they thought was a mini tornado, but the experts call a dust devil. I've never of such a thing.) |
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 18 2012, 01:28 PM Post #32 |
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Wherever I go There are signs that say Road Closed, Why I do not know - But I think I will explode Should this stay the status quo. |
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| rumbaba | Dec 18 2012, 01:35 PM Post #33 |
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It's Christmas time again but what does it really mean? Goodwill to all men or pressure to spend money a lot of people don't have? Edited by rumbaba, Dec 20 2012, 02:06 PM.
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 18 2012, 01:44 PM Post #34 |
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Counting syllables Isn't always as easy As one might suppose - But then, what's it got to do With poetry, anyway? |
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| Caro | Dec 19 2012, 11:21 PM Post #35 |
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Syllables no good? You could say the same re rhyme If you lived elsewhere. A matter of tradition In one country's poesy style. |
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 19 2012, 11:56 PM Post #36 |
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I'm asking myself, Was that last one too subtle? It was aimed at rum, Who doesn't seem to know how Many syllables make five. |
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| Caro | Dec 20 2012, 12:20 AM Post #37 |
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As with checking the letters in words within words, I struggle to ensure my contributions fit the criteria without worrying about other people's. I think I might have counted the ones in yours, but not in rumbaba's. I feel that work calls And I don't have time for this But since I'm writing Might as well do it this way As any other. (And now - well soon, perhaps - to tidying the house preparatory to putting Christmas tree up.) |
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 20 2012, 07:38 AM Post #38 |
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I don't know how you pronounce 'poesy', Caro, but round my way, it has 3 syllables, making 8 in total for that line. And your last one is 5-7-5-7-5 - you may have invented a new verse form with that. I rested my eyes As I sat in an armchair For just a minute At the end of a long day And fell into reverie. |
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| Caro | Dec 20 2012, 09:40 AM Post #39 |
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I assumed it was like posy; couldn't use poetry because it had too many syllables, and when I wrote a line ending in prose that seemed wrong for poetry. Every time I do this tanka I have to check back to remember which lines have which number of syllables, but somehow didn't apparently bother last time. But the Christmas tree is up! And the Christmas cards will be sent tomorrow - a little late for the English ones, perhaps. And I started it on December 1. Memory is weird It can manage my wedding But not my sister's Lines learnt at school eons past But not yesterday's. |
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| rumbaba | Dec 20 2012, 01:58 PM Post #40 |
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It's a grace note, Tick A nice intro, if you like just to alert the reader and irritate the pedants jazzing up the form a bit Edited by rumbaba, Dec 20 2012, 01:59 PM.
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| rumbaba | Dec 20 2012, 02:07 PM Post #41 |
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Sounds like Manchester Utd's Christmas party - as organised by Ryan Giggs |
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 21 2012, 03:12 PM Post #42 |
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As a gen'ral rule It's not something I would do, But this year I thought I'd give the postman a tip: Push the bloody post right through. |
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| rumbaba | Dec 21 2012, 03:31 PM Post #43 |
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Tick
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| waiting4atickle | Dec 22 2012, 12:22 AM Post #44 |
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May an old man say That was a disappointment, An anti-climax. No apocalypse - but still It's not the end of the world. |
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| Caro | Dec 22 2012, 02:04 AM Post #45 |
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It must seem fitting To people of that psyche To predict earth's fall And enjoy the secret thought That they're the chosen mortals. |
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| tafkaj | Dec 22 2012, 12:50 PM Post #46 |
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But when Caro says "To people of that psyche" I assume she means Morons. It's incredible To think such people exist. |
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| Caro | Dec 22 2012, 10:35 PM Post #47 |
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They may be morons, At any rate slow learners, Never discerning That the prophesies are false Time without end (until now). |
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It was inspired by your tornado report, Caro - and its mention of flying calves.
Tick
7:03 AM Jul 13