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Tanka Toys; Japanese poetic form: 5 lines, 5-7-5-7-7 syllables
Topic Started: Oct 27 2012, 12:40 PM (2,408 Views)
tafkaj

We've had haiku and we've got Clerihews - how about some tanka?

It's a Japanese poetic form of 5 lines with 5-7-5-7-7 syllables. Let's see how it goes ...

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Now that autumn’s here,
I’ll think about making stews;
Lentils, parsnips, swede,
Large diced pieces of choice beef –
Oh, the anticipation!
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Norm Deplume
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Yeah. Right.
When we bought toys for the grandchildren they were TONKA toys Taf.
Edited by Norm Deplume, Oct 28 2012, 05:50 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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It seems an odd way
To write a poem to me -
Quite mysterious.
As John McEnroe might say,
You cannot be serious!



Edited by waiting4atickle, Oct 29 2012, 03:07 PM.
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tafkaj

Norm Deplume
Oct 28 2012, 05:46 PM
Yeah. Right.
When we bought toys for the grandchildren they were TONKA toys Taf.
Those days are gone, Norm;
Your grandkids, though, I wager
Do not write poems,
But now work on building sites
Or at a quarry - n'est pas?
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Norm Deplume
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I do like my poems to rhyme
For all other I do not have time
Philistine though I am
I don't really give a damn
But to all men, their likes are sublime
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Caro

But prose does not rhyme
And who would think that it should
A poem is free
To do just what feels fitting
And brings emotional warmth.
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tafkaj

...

Like you, dear Caro! <rose>
Your North Island 'synchracies
Endear you to us
In ways you would not believe.
At least, it feels thus to me! <hug> <rose>











<bleucch!>
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Caro

That's all very nice,
Heart-warming to me indeed
Thank you sir tafkaj <star>
Though it's mystifying why -
And I do live right down south.

[I'll have to be careful what I say to you now, Tafkaj - no more taking you to task for whatever I disagree about!]
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tafkaj

Now I'm wondering -
Have I got the right Caro?
The one I once knew
Would not have hesitated
To take me to task at will!

<whistles> <rose> <hug>
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Caro

I'm not ungrateful; :wub:
Roses and cuddles are nice. <magic>
But time for a change
A new theme is now needed
Elections? crime? or fun times?
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Norm Deplume
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I think that there is sommat goin' on with you two!!!!!!!
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tafkaj

Oh, Norm! You've hit it!
But, in future, please pay heed
To rules of scansion
That tanka writers believe
Convey their message. Good man.

;)
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waiting4atickle
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I live in the shade
Of next door's sycamore tree.
At this time of year,
As I watch the leaves cascade,
I curse it most heartily.

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tafkaj

waiting4atickle
Nov 10 2012, 11:09 AM

I live in the shade
Of next door's sycamore tree.
At this time of year,
As I watch the leaves cascade,
I curse it most heartily.

I share your pain, Sir!
Next door's tree leaves their garden
Pristine and leaf-free,
Depositing it's leaf-load
All over my path, not theirs! <angry>
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waiting4atickle
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Once upon a time
A poet, stuck for a rhyme,
Caused a severe storm
By inventing a verse form
Called tanka - that was a crime.

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tafkaj

Could have been worse, though.
Luckily, the Japanese
Use the double-U
Sparingly and do not mind
If their poems do not rhyme.
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Caro

Confusingly so
Five lines makes a limerick
I want the rhythm
To fit with that style of thing.
(And rhythm is hard to spell.)
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waiting4atickle
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There's people crying,
Bleeding, dying on the street*:
Yet all some people
Seem to be concerned about
Is What shall we have to eat?


*Corrie is so melodramatic these days.


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Caro

A thought well deserved
As the turkey thread shows us.
Ham, chicken, or lamb
Are well worth considering
Fish too, or vegan for some.


(Haven't watched Coro St for about 20 years, so don't know what it is on about at the moment.)
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waiting4atickle
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Caro
Nov 23 2012, 06:35 AM
(Haven't watched Coro St for about 20 years, so don't know what it is on about at the moment.)

Nor have I, Caro - just thought that last one needed a seasoning of levity.

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tafkaj

Want a four-bird roast?
The question is: which four birds?
If th’smallest’s a goose,
You’d have to start with something
The size of Thunderbird 2.
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waiting4atickle
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Christmas is coming
And the goose is getting fat;
You can wring its neck,
But I won't be doing that.
I prefer beef, anyway.

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waiting4atickle
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It's a piece of cake,
Or at least you might think so,
To fit a new bulb
In a car headlamp - but no!
They're designed to make you swear.

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tafkaj

It could have been worse;
You might have had to change tyres;
One thing I can't stand
Is having to use a jack -
They always seem so deadly.
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waiting4atickle
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At this time of year
When the sun's low in the sky,
I sometimes find that,
In the corner of my eye,
I glimpse the hairs on my nose. <yikes>

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waiting4atickle
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It's so quiet here -
Not like the halcyon days,
When folk R B Q'd
To make Mornington Crescent
The hubbub of the universe.

(Yes, I know, there are 8 syllables in the last line - that 'bub' wanted to come in, so I let it. "It's the best way to write poetry, letting things come." <laugh> )


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waiting4atickle
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A beautiful night,
Bitter cold but crystal clear,
The sky bright with stars:
Gazing on them is awesome,
But makes me feel very small.


Edited by waiting4atickle, Dec 10 2012, 07:37 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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I'm surprised to see,
On a cold, frosty morning
When the fireside calls,
Running down the street in shorts,
A postman with flying calves.

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Caro

That last one, in particular, is a very nice wee piece of poetry, w4at.

Hey ho hey ho hey
It's off to work I must go
And have for three days.
The tourists come with questions
And the locals for their books.
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waiting4atickle
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Caro
Dec 11 2012, 07:47 PM
That last one, in particular, is a very nice wee piece of poetry, w4at.

:D It was inspired by your tornado report, Caro - and its mention of flying calves.

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Caro

Cyclones in Fiji,
Dust devil over the hills,
Deaths in lakes and drains
It's Christmas time's tragedies
None as bad as America's.

(Well, that's not full of the joys of Xmas, is it? A little town not too far from where I live, Cromwell, had what they thought was a mini tornado, but the experts call a dust devil. I've never of such a thing.)


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waiting4atickle
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Wherever I go
There are signs that say Road Closed,
Why I do not know -
But I think I will explode
Should this stay the status quo.



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rumbaba
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It's Christmas time again
but what does it really mean?
Goodwill to all men
or pressure to spend money
a lot of people don't have?
Edited by rumbaba, Dec 20 2012, 02:06 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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Counting syllables
Isn't always as easy
As one might suppose -
But then, what's it got to do
With poetry, anyway?

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Caro

Syllables no good?
You could say the same re rhyme
If you lived elsewhere.
A matter of tradition
In one country's poesy style.
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waiting4atickle
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I'm asking myself,
Was that last one too subtle?
It was aimed at rum,
Who doesn't seem to know how
Many syllables make five. :ermm:



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Caro

As with checking the letters in words within words, I struggle to ensure my contributions fit the criteria without worrying about other people's. I think I might have counted the ones in yours, but not in rumbaba's.

I feel that work calls
And I don't have time for this
But since I'm writing
Might as well do it this way
As any other.

(And now - well soon, perhaps - to tidying the house preparatory to putting Christmas tree up.)
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waiting4atickle
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I don't know how you pronounce 'poesy', Caro, but round my way, it has 3 syllables, making 8 in total for that line. And your last one is 5-7-5-7-5 - you may have invented a new verse form with that.

I rested my eyes
As I sat in an armchair
For just a minute
At the end of a long day
And fell into reverie.

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Caro

I assumed it was like posy; couldn't use poetry because it had too many syllables, and when I wrote a line ending in prose that seemed wrong for poetry. Every time I do this tanka I have to check back to remember which lines have which number of syllables, but somehow didn't apparently bother last time. But the Christmas tree is up! And the Christmas cards will be sent tomorrow - a little late for the English ones, perhaps. And I started it on December 1.

Memory is weird
It can manage my wedding
But not my sister's
Lines learnt at school eons past
But not yesterday's.
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rumbaba
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waiting4atickle
Dec 18 2012, 01:44 PM

Counting syllables
Isn't always as easy
As one might suppose -
But then, what's it got to do
With poetry, anyway?


It's a grace note, Tick
A nice intro, if you like
just to alert the reader
and irritate the pedants
jazzing up the form a bit
Edited by rumbaba, Dec 20 2012, 01:59 PM.
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rumbaba
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tafkaj
Dec 1 2012, 01:27 PM
Want a four-bird roast?
The question is: which four birds?
Sounds like Manchester Utd's Christmas party - as organised by Ryan Giggs
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waiting4atickle
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As a gen'ral rule
It's not something I would do,
But this year I thought
I'd give the postman a tip:
Push the bloody post right through.

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rumbaba
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<laugh> <ok> Tick
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waiting4atickle
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May an old man say
That was a disappointment,
An anti-climax.
No apocalypse - but still
It's not the end of the world.





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Caro

It must seem fitting
To people of that psyche
To predict earth's fall
And enjoy the secret thought
That they're the chosen mortals.

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tafkaj

But when Caro says
"To people of that psyche"
I assume she means
Morons. It's incredible
To think such people exist.
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Caro

They may be morons,
At any rate slow learners,
Never discerning
That the prophesies are false
Time without end (until now).
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