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Celebrity Sausage
Topic Started: Jul 9 2013, 03:25 PM (2,864 Views)
rumbaba
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Who remember this? http://s4.zetaboards.com/Radio4forum/topic/9187521/1/#new

A sizzling summer game that's due a revival


The Andy Murray

It takes a long time to prepare and cook but it's worth it in the end <ok>
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waiting4atickle
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Too good to hurry, eh?

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Rikiiboy
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The Stephen Fry up,likes 'em big and fat I believe?
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Rikiiboy
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The Posh Spice.
Sausage on a stick.
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dai Cottomy
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The Eric Pickles - You get more for your money.
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Norm Deplume
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The Ed Miliband -A union of several different tastes
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jul 10 2013, 12:54 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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The Charles Saatchi - No nonsense sausage that really grabs you by the throat.

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rumbaba
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The Egyptian - out of the frying pan into the fire
Edited by rumbaba, Jul 10 2013, 02:38 PM.
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rumbaba
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waiting4atickle
Jul 9 2013, 09:07 PM

Too good to hurry, eh?

That's the minted Andy Murray - well he is minted now, I suppose <laugh>
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Rikiiboy
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The "William" Hague. A "right" sausage
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rumbaba
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The Chris Patton, lightly grilled
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rumbaba
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The Alain de Botton - supposed to be sage-flavoured but it's hard to detect
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Mobson
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<star> The old ones being the best...aka Hugh Mosby-Joaquin 10.11.12

The 'Gershwin'..
....porky and best
Edited by Mobson, Jul 11 2013, 01:42 PM.
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rumbaba
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Yes, a cracker but I didn't want to steal - very tempting though :)

Whatever happened to Hugh? <erm>
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waiting4atickle
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rumbaba
Jul 11 2013, 01:44 PM
Whatever happened to Hugh? <erm>

I think he died laughing.

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Caro

The Ashton Agar ~ long in, and hard to remove from the grease
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dai Cottomy
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The "Hotlips" Houlihan - good with M.A.S.H.
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rumbaba
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The Justin Beiber - Wurst Brat
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Rikiiboy
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The Boris Johnson-with custard topping.
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rumbaba
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The Ian Duncan Smith

Well past it's sell by date, a bit off and oozing something unpleasant

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tafkaj

The McCartney - loses nothing with age, but remains full of taste and no younger sausage has come close to topping its desirability.
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Rikiiboy
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The David Beckam-A bent one.
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Caro

The Prince of Cambridge - very small and not worth the fuss/very small, but worth the fuss depending on your point of view
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rumbaba
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The Prince of Wales: not quite king size and dangerously close to its use-by date.
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Rikiiboy
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The Jackie Collins-not so much a sausage more an old banger.
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Rikiiboy
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OK Norm,No probs.R. <ok>
Edited by Rikiiboy, Jul 28 2013, 11:41 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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Sorry Ricki, your remarks above are an insult to a once great sportsman. The man is ill for cry sake!
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Norm Deplume
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Thanks Ricky, I appreciate you move. <cheers!>
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becky sharp
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Norm Deplume
Jul 28 2013, 11:21 AM
a once great sportsman.
There was a programme on the TV a few days ago about Frank with his daughter Rachel trying to understand her Dad's illness...Frank is going through a goodish spell at the moment.

Documentary in which Rachel Bruno sets out to discover the truth about the illness - bipolar affective disorder - that affects her dad, ex-heavyweight world boxing champion Frank.

It's still available to watch on the good old iPlayer

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b037k6t5/Rachel_Bruno_My_Dad_and_Me/
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rumbaba
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Jings, controversy on the celebrity sausage thread :(

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Mobson
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Caro
Jul 12 2013, 12:18 AM
The Ashton Agar ~ long in, and hard to remove from the grease
The Ashton Agar - a one-off trial offer ...needs more testing but may reappear at a later date....
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becky sharp
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rumbaba
Jul 29 2013, 12:59 PM
Jings,

Have never heard (seen) that word before ... :D
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Mobson
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Yeah Rum's used it here - on this forum - before! e.g. few times in Milky Way and in Last Word - Mel Smith....
Edited by Mobson, Jul 29 2013, 01:04 PM.
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becky sharp
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Mobson
Jul 29 2013, 01:03 PM
Yeah Rum's used it here - on this forum - before!
Yes, I noticed rum had used it before on here .. I just hadn't commented. :)
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Mobson
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<laugh> in fact way back.... as far as December make that July 2011!
Edited by Mobson, Jul 29 2013, 01:10 PM.
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becky sharp
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Just shows how time flies ... :'(
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rumbaba
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From 'The Broons' and 'Oor Wullie', cartoon strips that used to be in The Sunday Post (Scottish newspaper) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Broons

It's an exclamation: I suppose, begining with 'J', a polite substitution for 'Jesus!' The full expression, 'Jings, crivens, help ma boab!' is sometimes used ironically by Scots. The trouble is, if you use an expression for a joke long enough, it slips into your normal vocabulary. Scots often say 'Jings!' instead of 'blimey!' ('Cor, blimey' probably comes from 'God, blind me' or something similar)

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Rikiiboy
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Le Napoleon Bonaparte - Le pickled Chipolata.

http://www.wondersandmarvels.com/
Edited by Rikiiboy, Jul 30 2013, 05:49 AM.
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rumbaba
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The Paxman: been around too long, getting wrinkly and starting to sprout a rather unpleasant fungal growth
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Mobson
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<ok> <laugh>
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Mobson
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Rikiiboy
Jul 30 2013, 05:45 AM
Le Napoleon Bonaparte - Le pickled Chipolata.

http://www.wondersandmarvels.com/
Meant to say...Good link Rikiiboy
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Rikiiboy
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I see what you mean Mobson,it was on that website but the link had moved on so sweetie here's the dirty low down?


The Strange Journey of Napoleon’s Penis

in Karen Abbott, Queens and Kings




By Karen Abbott (W&M Contributor)

In 1821, the year of Napoleon Bonaparte’s death from stomach cancer, his penis embarked on a journey that rivaled its owner’s bloodthirsty trek across Europe. It began on an autopsy table on the British island of St. Helena in the South Atlantic Ocean, which had been the emperor’s home since the ill-fated Battle of Waterloo. In the presence of seventeen men, including various British and French officials, Dr. Francesco Antommarchi removed Napoleon’s liver and stomach and dropped them in jars of ethyl alcohol. It was to the emperor’s detriment that the doctor held a grudge against him; Napoleon had never liked Antommarchi and pointedly left him out of his will.

Shortly after the autopsy, rumors circulated in Paris that the doctor’s aides had smuggled various souvenirs from the island: strips of the bloody bed sheet, teeth, nail clippings, splinters of rib, locks of hair, chunks of bowels. Dr. Antommarchi himself filched the emperor’s death mask and two pieces of lower intestine, which he left with friends in London. Napoleon’s chaplain, Abbé Ange Vignali, laid claim to the most intimate part of the royal anatomy, boasting about his treasure when he went home to Corsica. Two decades later, when the British government allowed Napoleon’s body to be returned to Paris, Vignali’s relatives kept Napoleon’s penis for themselves—at least until 1916, when descendants put the Vignali collection up for auction. The organ was described thusly in the catalogue: “a mummified tendon taken from [Napoleon’s] body during post-mortem.”

An unknown British collector purchased the penis, which had been exposed to the air over the previous century and shrunk considerably. In 1924, eccentric American collector A.S.W. Rosenbach bought it for £400. Home in Philadelphia, he boasted of the relic, used it as a conversation piece for parties, and temporarily loaned it to the Museum of French Art in New York, which displayed it on a small velvet cushion. “Maudlin sympathizers sniffed; shallow women giggled, pointed,” Time magazine reported. “In a glass case they saw something looking like a maltreated strip of buckskin shoelace or a shriveled eel”—a verdict that would give anyone a complex.

In 1969, the Vignali Collection was shipped back to London for auction, but Napoleon’s penis failed to sell. Eight years later, the collection was broken up and auctioned in Paris, where Columbia University professor Dr. John K. Lattimer—America’s leading urologist—bought it for 13,000 francs, about $2900. He had it X-rayed at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital, which confirmed that it is definitely a penis (although French cultural officials remain skeptical of its provenance, and refuse to exhume Napoleon’s body for examination). Lattimer kept his Napoleonic trophy in a suitcase under his bed in Englewood, New Jersey, where it stayed until he died in 2007. His daughter has fielded at least one $100,000 offer and has so far showed it to only one person, author Tony Perrottet, who deemed it “certainly small, shrunken to the size of a baby’s finger, with white shriveled skin and desiccated beige flesh.” Josephine, eat your heart out.

Karen Abbott is the New York Times bestselling author of Sin in the Second City and American Rose. Her next book, a true story of four female Civil War spies, will be published by HarperCollins in 2014.

Sources: Tony Perrottet, Napoleon’s Privates: 2,500 Years of History Unzipped. New York: Harper Entertainment, 2008; Christopher Shay, “Napoleon’s Penis.” Time Magazine, May 10, 2011; Graeme Donald, Loose Cannons: 101 Myths, Mishaps, and Misadventures of Military History. Guilford, CT: Lyons Press, 2009.
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Norm Deplume
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The Wayne Rooney.......Thick with the skin split at the top
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tafkaj

The Putin - likes to give the impression of being a very macho sausage but consuming it will only block up your pipes for months.
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dai Cottomy
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Merkelwurst - good quality German sausage. Goes well with sauerkraut.
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rumbaba
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The Pope Francis: it's heavenly and available to all, even to people who don't believe in sausages

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Rikiiboy
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On the menu today:The Edwina Curry - Spicey and needs to be pricked to stop it from bursting.
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rumbaba
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Keep it clean Rikii <laugh>

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rumbaba
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The Vince Cable - slighly sour and could burst at any moment
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rumbaba
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The independence sausage: flavoured with haggis and whisky, needs oil.
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Rikiiboy
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Le Napoleon - Pickeled
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rumbaba
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The austerity sausage, wrap it in a jumper to warm it up.
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Mobson
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Toffee apple sausage - for tonight's Halloween Barbie...no joke, seen in Waitrose butchery - minced pork and caramelised apple stuffing sausage 59p each...
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Rikiiboy
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The limp sausage for those who want a population cut.
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chocster

What is the wurst that can happen? Heinz Muller - beans with a frankfurter, make the Kaiser-roll.
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tafkaj

The Mandela - best before 05/12/13.
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rumbaba
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Yes, Taf, indeed.

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rumbaba
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The Christmas sausage. Beautifully wrapped, open it up and it contains ................. a sausage voucher.
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Mobson
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Morkel News: "Grade 1 ankle sprain"... which safely takes up to 7-10 days to heal - he'll not take any further part in this test and although it's too early they're saying he might well be out of the second test but they are looking at every modern technology by talking to specialists with possible use of oxygen, theraphy, injections to get him back on his feet...
Edited by Mobson, Dec 21 2013, 11:35 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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Shouldn't that be on the Cricket thread, Mobs?

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Mobson
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India 234-2...lead by 270 runs ...Pujara/Kohli partnership 141 from 180 deliveries...14.2 overs left in the day...
Edited by Mobson, Dec 20 2013, 03:04 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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Confused???
You will be!
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Mobson
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<laugh> <laugh> ....Mmmmm, just trying to drum up interest in the cricket thread guys <brickwall>
Edited by Mobson, Dec 21 2013, 11:34 AM.
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tafkaj

The Nigella: very alluring, very tasty - even sensual - very rich and covered with a sprinkling of what I presume is icing sugar.
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rumbaba
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The Farage: locally sourced, contains very little substance and should be taken with a large pinch of salt
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tafkaj

The Farage Sossage - I like that, rum!
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Norm Deplume
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or the Farij Sossij
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rumbaba
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Nigel Farage
uses onion and sage
to make his stuffing
or so he says, but he could be bluffing

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Norm Deplume
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Nijel Farij
Could not open his garage
No access to car
So went to the bar
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rumbaba
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The Gove/May. made from halal pork, intended for school dinners but ends up as a dog's breakfast
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waiting4atickle
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The Nick Clegg: a vegetarian sausage often coated in egg.

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rumbaba
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The Gove, no longer on the school dinner menu
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Mobson
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<laugh> <ok>
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