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Need Assistance; well, advice
Topic Started: Apr 5 2011, 01:17 PM (212 Views)
December, Esq
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Hey guys, I need a bit of advice, and Rapture's usually pretty cool about giving advice. (Also hi, by the way; hopefully I'm not too long forgotten. I lost the link and couldn't find it on the resource site, and trying to google "rapture" doesn't get anything good, but I finally found it on a site that was linked to a site that was linked to a site.) At any rate. ^^

I like to roleplay on forums. But I also have what I like to call "RP anxiety." I run off to look for a cool new action-adventury board and when I find one, I just stop and stare. I don't join. And if I join, I am very hesitant, always afraid I'm going to piss the members off by being a newb. Which is pretty funny because I'm usually outspoken. Once I'm on a board, I'm good; it's just the joining and getting situated that's hard.

So I join a friend's forum after two separate RP friends asked me to join. The members are nice, but . . . not really newbie friendly. They chatter in the cbox, but I have to really force myself in if I want to be acknowledged, and I don't want to do that because, well, RP anxiety. I don't want to interrupt anyone and piss them off. They talk a lot about their characters, but never invite me to join. I had one thread with with member-friend and an open (ie: an "open to anybody") thread that I joined. That thread is lots of fun and when I'm reading/replying in it, I enjoy myself. Only problem is that that member isn't on much. I've put up an RP request, and I've asked (once, because I didn't want to annoy the crap out of anyone) in the cbox for someone to RP with me, which went unanswered.

Admin-friend is always excited to see me on the board, but she's in a completely different time zone and we rarely see each other between work/school/whatever. And then member-friend told me that someone on the board thought that I didn't like them because of the cbox chat or something, and I was like o________________o and assured them that I didn't mean to offend by my silence, even though the person never really spoke to me much in the first place. And it just made me more paranoid. XD

So, to sum: I'm uncomfortable on a board that's not a bad board and that doesn't have bad members. One friend is the admin and one is a member (I know them separately from other places and they didn't know each other before the member-friend joined the baord). Although I plan on sticking with it for awhile because maybe I'm wrong about the whole place, I have a feeling I'll ultimately quit.

What do I do? Do I tell my admin-friend that I'm quitting and why? Or do I just drift away? And what do I say if the admin-friend asks me why "the board isn't for me"?
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Xarina
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<3 Jason

Personally, I would give it some more time and try to "get into it". But at least let your admin friend know what you feel, that you feel like it's hard to get into the community. Then she will be aware of why even beforehand, and most importantly, that you at least tried if you do start to drift away.
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December, Esq
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Thanks. Yeah, I'm giving it more time. Now they'll talk to me in the cbox and include me in conversations, but getting RP time is scarce. I think it's my character, though. Dunno if he's not round enough or what, but no one really wants to RP with him, so I'll have to figure out how to fix that. I'm not bothering telling my friend because I don't want her to feel like she has to babysit me.
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Psychognosis

My advice is examine your character again. Does he or she have any weaknesses? Any strange or unique characteristics? Weaknesses does not have to be a vulnerability. It could be a fondness for something like jewels or inappropriate weapons. For example, a friend of mine was in a Call of Cthulhu campaign. His character was a girl about 5 feet tall. She used a blunderbuss. Every time she fired it she wound up on her ass.

Instead of telling your friend you are having trouble, ask her for help on your character. Tell her the character is not doing a lot for you. That way you are not causing anything besides sometimes a second pair of eyes helps.
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Fear not the darkness without. Fear instead the beast within.

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