Knight, flame-roasted

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Knight, flame-roasted; you know, like by a dragon...
Topic Started: Feb 29 2012, 03:18 AM (292 Views)
Damon	Feb 29 2012, 03:18 AM Post #1
Ancient Bartender Posts: 1,113 Group: Members Member #38 Joined: April 13, 2011	Hello and Welcome to the next fantastic flinging of flames and funnies. Our next target, that is to say, guest of honor, is an active bar patron, and roleplay fighter. He's a little more well known than our previous guest, but even still, he doesn't seem interesting enough for me to know much about. Or perhaps I'm just inactive anymore. Same difference really... anyway, here he is! The Knighte of the Bar, Drago! Cue Entrance



Dragoknighte	Feb 29 2012, 03:35 AM Post #2
Posts: 7,359 Group: Project Moderator Member #26 Joined: April 7, 2011	Entrance Music Well isn't this your worst announcement yet Damon, really. But that's beside the point, we're all gathered here for one reason. Make jokes at my expense for the amusement of the people. We've had some pretty weak roasts up to this point. The first was because the guest of honor is just that nice a guy. The second flopped worst because nobody knew anything about stsenna. Well there was a good couple jokes in there but my point stands. Luckily for you guys I'm not a nice guy, and I'm definitely not obscure. So now I'm going sit back and see if you guys can hurl something fresh at me. catches fire



Mistriousfrog	Feb 29 2012, 04:17 AM Post #3
The God of Conquest Posts: 9,247 Group: Project Moderator Member #108 Joined: December 25, 2011	steps up to the podium clears throat you smell bad and you are bad at fighting. walks down



POOHEAD189	Mar 1 2012, 09:09 PM Post #4
Posts: 7,588 Group: Members Member #6 Joined: April 6, 2011	Surprised no one has gotten anything better. I mean I don't have a ton of good stuff, but thats because of my nice guyness. Anywayz, DEAR DRAGO. Mr. Jackass, Mr. I'MTOOGOODFORYOU, Mr. WhatraceamI? Mr. Jackass. I hope it feels good. I HOPE IT FEEL SO GOOD THAT YOU ARE RIGHT. Theres nothing more exhilirating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there? No, there isn't. And thats why people are jackasses. LIKE YOU. I hope we meet up in the O.U.T. just so I can rub your face in the asphalt, burn you, and then spit on the ashes.



Carolina	Mar 1 2012, 11:02 PM Post #5
5'4" concentrated sass Posts: 6,564 Group: Admin Assistant Member #85 Joined: August 8, 2011	[walks up to the podium, clears throat.] Dear Carlos Gonzales, also known as Drago/Dragoknighte/DK. I have not participated in the last two roasts; partially because I didn’t want to embarrass myself with a half-ass post I clearly spent three minutes making up on the fly. You are different, of course. How better to transcribe two years’ worth of a wonderful relationship than a release of pent-up aggression usually more subtly expressed in the occasional shoe hurled at your head? You lovingly refer to yourself as the “Jerk With a Heart of Gold.” Reality presents a problem with this. There are a few extra words in this title that don’t fit you one iota. “Heart of Gold” is reserved for jerks who have redeeming qualities. The trope only fits those who are actually not absolute assholes. How now, Carlos, let’s take a good, hard look at your redeeming qualities that might constitute a heart of gold. I mean, isn't gold supposed to be worth something? Give me a minute here. Or an hour. Or a week… Screw this, I have better things to do than try coming up with qualities that aren’t there. Roasts aren’t for falsely buoying up the victims and I have only so much time to spend on you anyway. For two years all I hear from you is senseless, pointless, childish bickering, and “I don’t care.” This one statement is possibly the most tactless trifecta ever uttered. With this lacking personality, you can at best have a heart of recycled compost, much less gold; it’s hardly a wonder you’re unable to successfully get the girl. Shakespeare once wrote, “Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows.” The same could be said of your snarking. The skin on my knee could offer better dry wit than you. I don’t know where you get your words but your off-handed insults are, as the saying goes, “a dime a dozen.” At least if I heard you backwards, it would be funny. I’m saving degrading comments about asshattery for when Coos is up, so I’ll conclude my roast. Let me know in about fifty years if you’ve learned how to hold an intelligent conversation. Kthanks. Love, Nikki, your next-of-kin. <3 Edited by Carolina, Mar 1 2012, 11:07 PM.



OmegaZero	Mar 1 2012, 11:12 PM Post #6
Posts: 1,148 Group: Members Member #78 Joined: July 18, 2011	You smell bad, your mother dresses you funny, and your dick's crooked.



Damon	Mar 4 2012, 10:20 AM Post #7
Ancient Bartender Posts: 1,113 Group: Members Member #38 Joined: April 13, 2011	I don't really have much to say here. I don't remember Drago doing anything interesting, which is something I can't say for just anyone here. Good luck continuing to avoid me, not that you need it. Vanishes



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