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Skyler Thorne[Heero Yuy]; Inops Militia Major
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Topic Started: Jul 4 2012, 09:54 PM (599 Views)
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Heero Yuy
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Jul 4 2012, 09:54 PM
Post #1
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I like trains
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General Information
Name: Skyler Throne
Aliases: Sky
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Physical Appearance Skyler is 5'8, 165 lbs, and has an athletic build. Her skin is clear with no blemishes, and is lightly tanned. She has an ample bust at about a C cup, but because of her build they look huge on her. Her hair is black and comes down to her rear. She keeps it up rather well despite how long it is. Her eyes (despite the picture, it was the best I could find) are actually two different colors. Her left iris is a pale blue, and her right is a hazel color.
Clothing: Skyler's clothes generally are the normal attire for an officer of high rank. She wears her military uniform practically all the time, unless she is going out to have fun. When that happens, she usually wears a dress, which she finds it's hard to match a dress with her eyes since they are two separate colors, but she deals with it. Her shoes consist of combat boots, heels, and tennis shoes. Occasionally, her other members will see her in jeans and a t-shirt, but this is very rare for her.
Personality: Skyler has two different sides of her. More often than not, you'll see one more often than the other. When she is on-duty, it's all about business. She will come off as brash and strict, especially if someone caused a mission to go wrong. When she is angry, she is more of a controlled rage type. She will get in your face and threaten you with the most twisted things that come to her head, but only loud enough for the intended victim of said threats hears it. She whispers it into your ear most of the time. She tells herself all the time that she has no need for a relationship, and tries to stick to that as best as she can. Now for her off-duty side. For this side of her, she is the friendliest person that people come across. She comes off as sweet and innocent, and is constantly messing with her hair. She does this actually for her own protection, as well as for the protection of her siblings. This is only seen around her family. When she is off-duty, it is your best chance to become friends with her.
History Skyler Thorne came from a family of poverty. She has two siblings, twins, and their names are Mina and Joey. They are both aged 14. Skyler is very close to Mina and Joey. They both look up to her, and follow what she says. They are her only known relatives, and the only ones that she talks calmly to, as well as being her rock when she is struggling. Her parents, whose names were Harriett and Maxwell, worked in a Valkinai Production plant. As the oldest of three kids, Skyler felt it was her duty to help her parents make money. The jobs they both currently had only made them enough to feed the kids. And this is the combined money from the two adults. When Skyler began working, the income of the house improved a little bit. But it still wasn’t enough to consider them middle class. Skyler began working, at 12, in a diner. She was back in the kitchen cleaning the dishes. Mina and Joey begged her to let them help, but she told them every time to continue with their schoolwork. So that this way, they could better the family when they get older. When Skyler turned 15, her mother was in a terrible accident in the plant. She was working on a Valkinai when suddenly, the weapons began discharging. Very few of the workers survived, her father one of them. He was distraught, and so were the Thorne children. Skyler was deeply hurt because she had always looked up to her mom. Hoping that one day, she would bring her family out of this filth and into a prosperous life. Skyler decided that she couldn’t let her sadness show, so she hid it with a smile as much as she could. But every night, she comforted Mina and Joey, who cried before they went to bed. Their father fell into a period of depression. He had lost the one woman, besides his daughters that he loved. Skyler tried to get him to go back to work, but he wouldn’t budge from his room. Then one day when Skyler came home from work (She is 18 now, and still working in the diner. Although, she has been promoted to waitress) she found her dad with a bullet through his head. Mina and Joey were in the corner, sobbing together. Skyler knew that they had to leave the house. Their parents were dead, and she needed to keep her siblings safe. This is where she became both mother and father.
Skyler took care of Mina and Joey from here on out. They went to school for about a year before they had to drop out because Skyler couldn’t pay for it. She had enough and just went to the Inops Militia. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, they would help her out. At 19, she found them and talked to them about possibly joining the Militia. They told her that it would be tough, and if she was sure that she was ready for it. She nodded, but she gave them a condition. They had to accept her 7 year old siblings. They suggested foster care, but Skyler sternly said that it was out of the question. She was all they had left. They said they could not house the twins. She would have to find a place for them to stay. She was upset, but she took her siblings to Unus Town for some food. If they could afford it that is. There, she met an elderly couple that noticed the three children without a parent. She befriended them, and they took in her siblings. Whilst they were there, they would be fed, and able to go to school while she went through training. She went back to the Inops, and told them that she had found them a place to stay. Skyler was then accepted into the militia, where she began her pilot's training.
When she began training she had no hand-to-hand combat experience, no weapons training, no pilots training, and generally, no skills at all. But she never quit. No matter how many times the instructors tried to, she kept pushing. For the sake of her siblings. As the training progressed, Skyler proved that she could get something down to a degree. She did exceptionally well in melee combat. Particularly, the art of the sword. She bested her Sword Teacher in combat during the final testing stages of training. It was a great showing of power and finesse which translated to her Valkinai.
Skyler passed the training 3rd in her class and the youngest one to complete the training (in her class at least). As Skyler began to grow, she took on the professional outlook to the field of battle. No time for husbands or boyfriends, just strictly business. She went from Private to Sergeant in 2 years, and from Sergeant to Major in 6 years. At 27, she is the youngest Major the Inops Militia has. She's been around Inops Country alot looking at potential recruits. She's also been in about 7 battles since she started. One of the biggest battles she's been in, has left her scarred.
She was a captain of a squadron that was on a mission to acquire something valuable. Something not even she was given all the details of. All that she was told, was to get the package, and bring it back to the base. She was not told that it belonged to the Ordo Sanctus. She and her team were lying in wait along the intended route. She had told her team not to fire until she gave the order. As the target made its way towards them, one of the Privates got too excited and fired his weapon. She yelled "Hold your fire!", but it was too late. The Sanctus Troops came at them in their Valkinai, and laid waste to her squadron. She was the only survivor. Her old Valk was completely destroyed. She only survived because she ejected before its destruction. The technology escaped from their grasp. The Sanctus, her, and the higher ups that assigned it to her, are the only ones aware of its existence anymore. But she had vowed to avenge her fallen squadron.
Profession Information
Faction: Inops Militia
Rank: Major
Codename: Skylark
Goal: Avenge her fallen squadron
Weapon(s): Three Ring Rapier

9mm Pistol

Brass Knuckles
Specialty: Swordplay and Hand-to-hand Combat
Pilot Information
Pilot Rank: B
Pilot Suit Appearance  Skyler's pilot suit is white, with black arms, and orange rings around the wrist. It is a multi-piece suit that is actually put on her when she enters her Valk, that way it saves time and she can get out to the battlefield quickly. First, the Valk will take the front of the suit and apply it to her, followed by the individual pieces for the back starting with the boots, then the arms, and finally her back. As to how it is put on, imagine the equipment Tony Stark uses to get in and out of the Iron Man Suit. Minus the gigantic rings.
Pilot Statistics
Physical: 9
Mental: 8
Heart: 7
Teamwork: 5
Awareness: 6
Equipment Three Ring Rapier 9mm Pistol Extra Clips (ten bullets in each) Brass Knuckles (for when her sword isn't on her) Other Information
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Heero Yuy
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Jul 5 2012, 03:57 PM
Post #2
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I like trains
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General Information Valkinai Suit Name: Avenger Valkinai Model: A-001 Valkinai IFF: UNF Valkinai Appearance: Spoiler: click to toggle  This is not her original Valk. Her original was destroyed in one of her previous battles. As far as this one goes, it is pretty impressive. It stands at about 50ft tall, 51.5 if you want to include the weapons on its shoulders. The RPG is mounted to the Valk's right shoulder. The Plasma Rifle, attached to the left. The melee equipment is inside the right arm and shoots out for her to use when needed. The Inops Emblem is painted on the left shoulder, and the colors of her Valk are Maroon, and a light grey. The cockpit is located in the head of the Valk, and is equipped with the standard issue equipment. The only thing added is her pilot suit pieces, which are put on her when she enters the cockpit, and removed before getting out. The equipment used to do that is similar to Tony Stark's setup for the Iron Man Suit. Just, take out the giant rings, and you have your individual suit pieces set to be put on. Valkinai Specialty: Swordplay Other:
Specifications Information Valkinai Type: Medium Valkinai Generation: Late 3rd Gen Weapons: Energy Scythe(pops out of right arm), Plasma Rifle(attached to the left shoulder), RPG(mounted to the right shoulder) Special Abilities: Sensor Scrambler (Mk. 1) Valkinai Rank: C Valkinai Statistics (+15 Valk SP) Power: 12 Speed: 10 Durability: 12 Range: 5 Energy: 6
Bonuses
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Heero Yuy
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Jul 7 2012, 01:41 AM
Post #3
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I like trains
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All done.......I think
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OmegaZero
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Jul 7 2012, 03:07 AM
Post #4
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More Details on her Appearance. Maybe something about posture, skin condition, etc.
History should be longer.
Would be real nice to not have a.. What... Eighth sniper?
How much ammo does each gun have in a clip and, when you play, specify how many clips you have and stored where.
Her suit is put on her when she gets in the mech. How?
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Heero Yuy
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Jul 7 2012, 03:25 AM
Post #5
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I like trains
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Makes sense. Will add edits.
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Charnobyl
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Jul 7 2012, 10:49 AM
Post #6
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Chan eil.
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I have a small question... Her goal is to bring down the major factions for her family to live in peace... Inops is a completely neutral country and are barely affected by OS or UNF until the current storyline so... Your character wouldn't have that drive in her mind. It's not like your parents died because of them or anything. Also you've barely even mentioned any form of reaction of your character towards your parents' deaths.
Also, Inops Militia is a voluntary thing, they don't seek you out and house you just because. You have to find them, not the other way around. Also, where on earth would Inops house two elven year olds? As for the 30 battles thing... yeah, there won't have been THAT many fights. You're 27 not 50. Your General that is 33 has only ever been in about 12 battles and she's a frontal assault valk. Snipers would not see so much action.
Although while we're on the subject of snipers. I'd rather you did not have another sniper character as Olivia is already a sniper and I'm sick to death of there being nothing BUT snipers in this RP. Your valk actually looks to me to be more close to medium range anyway and you've also skimped on the description for the valk itself. You've mentioned the weapons are only long range but then you've not described them in the appearance.
I know you have limited time on the computer as well but that's no reason to skimp on details. I also need to ask if you're sure you can handle a third character with the limited time you have online.
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Heero Yuy
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Jul 8 2012, 12:53 AM
Post #7
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I like trains
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In response, I'm not intentionally trying to skip out on details. I've still got some work to do. And yes I'm sure. I only have about a month before my limited time is over since school starts in September.
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Charnobyl
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Jul 8 2012, 03:34 PM
Post #8
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Chan eil.
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Temporarily voided at player's request.
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Heero Yuy
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Jul 13 2012, 11:29 PM
Post #9
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I like trains
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Alright. Let's try this again.
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Dragoknighte
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Jul 14 2012, 03:24 AM
Post #10
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Alright, after skimming through the profile, just seeing what I could catch through without trying, I have some issues that you need to address before I even start to look at this thing in depth. First off, the layout of the descriptions. That probably needs to be changed a bit. I almost chewed you out for only having an image to describe something. Had I not rechecked multiple times I wouldn't have caught the text underneath. Either cut and paste the text so it's above the picture or simply remove the text from the spoiler. You don't actually have to do this, just my advice there.
The only other thing I need to talk to you about before I actually read through thoroughly is the matter of the extra clips. There are ten rounds each, but how many magazines do you have, and where are you keeping them? Now to the rest of the critique.
- Appearance
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Alright, it looks acceptable right now, but it could be improved. Does she have any defining features worth speaking of? A chipped tooth? Pronounced nose? Gap in the teeth? maybe one arm is bulkier than the other or slightly longer. Perhaps she has scoliosis. Something that would make Sky stand out. Nothing in this section required, but the description just feels kinda bare to me right now.
- Clothing
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Sure, this is fine. Moving on to more interesting topics.
- Personality
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First off, if I sound really nitpicky here, it's because I am and as a writer (admittedly one who should probably do so more often) this section as a whole made me want to edit the fruit out of it. First off, you misused the word blatant. Blatant means loud or obvious, the word you were probably thinking of was blunt.
Second, if this section is anything to go by, Sky's tomboyish personality is an informed attribute. You go to say she's a tomboy, yet continue through, talking about how she's "girly" off duty. In my experience, to be a tomboy, the girl in question acts like a boy from the all the time, possibly barring special occasions or something of that nature. Next I want to cover the other aspect of the informed attribute. What exactly makes her a tomboy? Does she simply play a lot of sports with guys and keeps up? Does she follow the Bro Code? And what exactly would make her "girly," when she acts that way? You said she brushes her hair all the time so it'd look good, but I had gotten the impression from the above section that she was the type that was picky about appearances, what with the wearing of the uniform everywhere and the dresses when actually going out. And caring about appearances doesn't necessarily make one girly.
Next up, how does she act on duty, it's kinda implied in a vague way that she acts somewhat cold, or at least very formal while on duty. Expand on that.
Now we reach the area that's been bothering me most here, you have this penchant for stating the obvious and the strange in this part. Like she doesn't have feelings for anyone? What the fruit? I did not need to know that. And it was pretty obvious considering: a) She's in the military and b) She's not been introduced to the story at this point Also, that information belongs in history. Not personality. As for the obvious, of coure if you're closer to them personally, you're closer to their professional side, that just common sense. What, would they be OMGtotalBFFs off duty, but then once they get to the field, she insults them with all her heart?
Now we get to the Dark Side of the Force. Anger. What's Sky like when she's angry? Is it hot or cold anger? Does she prefer not to follow through with her anger? Or does she harness it for UNLIMITED POWAAAAH(!)? Does she hold a grudge? And what does it actually take to piss her off? Something slight, like a playful insult, or is it the old shonen cliche of having her friends hurt? Or maybe it's something completely off the wall, like salt on watermelons? That's all I've got on this section, moving on.
- History
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Looks good for now. A small hole, plotwise here and there. The grammar and wording sound off and at some parts are just redundant. This only needs a few touch ups. My advice: introduce topics before you actually reference them. Like Sky's siblings, mention their names and her living arrangements immediately, it avoids making them seem slapped on. It's obvious those kids are pretty important to Sky's motives, so actually describing them and their relationship to their big sister would better reinforce that the kids aren't simply a plot device.
Also, details better flesh out the characters. Perhaps tell us what her parents actually did for a living, maybe describe her early childhood. And other than that I emphasize this, reread through this passage and fix the mistakes you made while typing this out initially. I guarantee you'll find many mistakes and will be able to improve the overall quality of the history if you go back and revise it. Also, wouldn't the higher ups in Inops who sent Sky after this package know about it?
- Valkinai
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Well... 1.Wouldn't Sky just be issued another Valk? She is a Major. 2.We've already said no to fingers for Coos and in the sake of fairness(unless I'm mistaken), I'll have to say you'll need to edit those out. However, you do have a much cooler option available to you. Have the blade of the scythe shoot out of the arm a la Scyther.
The rest is fine.
And that's what I have to say about this sheet for the time being.
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Heero Yuy
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Jul 14 2012, 09:48 PM
Post #11
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I like trains
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As far as her appearance goes, the only thing that makes her stand out is her hair. I'll keep working on it
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Dragoknighte
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Jul 15 2012, 02:27 AM
Post #12
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That reply makes no sense.
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Heero Yuy
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Jul 15 2012, 03:53 AM
Post #13
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I like trains
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Yeah, my bad. I was on the tablet so I couldn't see very well. Was supposed to be about the appearance
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Heero Yuy
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Jul 24 2012, 03:35 PM
Post #14
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I like trains
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Ok, so I revamped the whole first paragraph, which caused me to type a second paragraph.
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Charnobyl
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Jul 24 2012, 09:23 PM
Post #15
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Chan eil.
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I'm fine with this. Someone care to give a secondary approval?
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