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Violation of the Evenstar: the Story; Celebrian II
Topic Started: Aug 23 2008, 04:00 PM (1,623 Views)
jules14
Member Avatar
(Wo)man on a Mission
Disclaimer: Morgoth, Maglor, Uruk-hai, Noldor, Nazgul,
and everything else that has anything to do with Tolkien’s world belongs to the
Tolkien Estates, and some belongs to New Line Cinema. Tumnus the faun and
Narnia belong to C.S. Lewis and to the Disney Company. Boris the Nazgul belongs
to Araiona Dubois. Chesterfield and Jules belong to me. This story belongs to
Daguy and may be found on adultfanfiction.net.

POINTLESS NOTE: In its original form, the story is one chapter long. I broke it
up into chapters, simply because too much bad grammar and poorly-written sex is
a lot to take at one time.


THEME SONG:

In the not-too-distant future
In the space beyond the light,
The evil dark lord Morgoth
Had a nasty scheme in sight.
He found an elf, Maglor by name:
A Noldorin bard of ancient fame.
His existence was making him quite annoyed,
So he thought that he would torture him and trap him in the Void!


MAGLOR: LET…ME…OUUUTTTTTT!

I’ll send him awful fanfics (ooh ooh!)
The worst I can find! (la la la!)
He’ll have to sit and read them all
And I’ll monitor his mind.
Now keep in mind he can’t control
When the fanfics begin or end (la la la!)
He’ll have to keep his sanity
With the help of some brand-new friends!


DAILY ROLL CALL!

MAGLOR! (WHY ME?!)
BORIS! (HI, EVERYONE!)
CHESTERFIELD! (I’M STILL CONSCIOUS!)
TUMNUS! (OH, DEAR ASLAN!)

If you’re wondering how he found Maglor
And other useless facts (la la la!)
Just keep in mind it’s all a joke
You should really just relax–

For Mystery Fanfic Theater 4000!



"Bloody human bitch," Maglor muttered, as he stalked to the bridge
on the Satellite of Hate.

"What are you talking about?" asked Tumnus, looking up from his cup
of tea.

"Jules!" Maglor replied crossly. "I went into her room to look
for a dagger I'd dropped. I turned on the light, and she yelled at me for
waking her up and threw an alarm clock at me!"

For a while there was silence. Chesterfield said, "She's recovering from an especially awful fic, Maglor. How do you
expect her to act?"

"Oh, I don't know," the elf groused. "Ever since Morgoth sacked
my new friend, I've been rather on edge..."

Boris shook his head. "I still haven't gotten used to hearing you call
Sauron your friend."

"That's because you have been on holiday all week!" Maglor fumed.
"I still cannot believe you were callous enough not to invite us!"

"I keep telling you; it was just for us Nazgul..." began Boris,
before the globe lit up and Morgoth's face appeared.

"So," the Dark Lord said, with a bitter smile. "It is time to
pay you back, Boris, for your week off, and YOU back, Maglor, for plotting
against me with my former servant."

"Okay, okay, we're prepared," Boris said irritably. "What's the
fic going to be?"

Morgoth smirked. "I shall give you a little hint. Think 'Celebrian'."

There was a pause, during which everyone's eyes widened in horror.
Chesterfield gasped,"No! No, you can't be! You CAN'T be sending us 'Celebrian'!"

"Of course not," answered Morgoth, looking shocked that Chesterfield had even thought of it. "Unfortunately, I had a warning from Iluvatar—if I ever
sent you 'Celebrian,' I would be eliminated in one bolt of lightning. No, I am
sending you 'Violation of the Evenstar' by Daguy: the RIP-OFF of
'Celebrian'."

"Rip-off?" spluttered Tumnus, choking on his tea. "But who in the
name of Aslan would want to copy that...that...piece of rubbish?"

Before Morgoth could answer, the lights began flashing. Boris yelled,
"We've got fanfic sign!" as he and the others ran through the six
doors into the theater.


Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with any of the Tolkien family

BORIS (singing, to the tune of "The Addams Family"): The Tolkien
Family!...dun dun dun dun...
CHESTERFIELD: Who the hell are they?


and am not making any sort of profit from this, it is simply a story written in
my free time

MAGLOR (snort): As if you didn't have anything better to do.

I love Lord of the Rings.

BORIS: So do I. Sauron is my master; of course I love him. What's your
point?


I find Arwen to be an extremely interesting and sexy character,

TUMNUS: Oh, it's the peculiar I-love-this-character-so-I'm-going-to-have-her-raped attitude. I've never been
able to understand it.


only enhanced by Liv Tyler’s performance in the films.

TUMNUS: Oh, good Aslan...just write about Liv Tyler, then!
OTHERS: What films?


No matter how disgustingly Lore-breaking some of them where.

*Pause*
CHESTERFIELD: "Where"?
MAGLOR: It makes no sense; let us move on.


Anyhow; this is based on the books;

EVERYONE BUT TUMNUS: WHAT BOOKS?!

thought since every time I picture Arwen I picture her at the end of Return of
the King,

CHESTERFIELD: Hey, oh...what? What king?
MAGLOR: Aragorn, probably, but I still don't know what he's talking about.


that’s pretty much how she looks in my story.

BORIS (groan): Thank you...do you think we really CARE how she looks in your
story? I sure don't.


I tried to give it an actual story in the background also; since I’m not all
that fond of Porn without a Reason behind it.

*Silence*
CHESTERFIELD: Wanna bet?


Of course; beautiful Elf girl who supposedly outshines all her sister + Orcs?
Not needing a whole lotta reasoning there.

MAGLOR: Well...there has to be a good reason for her to fall into the orcs'
clutches, for Eru's sake!
TUMNUS (confused): Arwen doesn't have a sister.


I’m also a little sick of all the Fluffy erotica on here.

CHESTERFIELD: Well, so are we, but you don't see US writing
"Celebrian" rip-offs, do you?


I admit freely to liking the darker fetishes, such as rape fantasy, bondage and
to a much lesser extent masochism.

MAGLOR (exasperated): That is splendid, but it doesn't mean you have to
SHARE it with people!
BORIS: Or write stories that make absolutely NO sense!


Dealing it out, that is on the last ones. Personally I dislike pain in sex.

*everyone sneers at the screen*

I wont even get into the Yaoi making it practily impossible to find much other
than with the Search option.

TUMNUS: Apparently it's also impossible for you to find a grammar
book...good Lord, what a mess.


Still, all those fetishes combined inside me to form this story;

CHESTERFIELD: Oh, excuses, excuses...it wasn't YOUR fault; it was the
fetishes! Yeah, right; we're not idiots, you know.


and I made it even a little more extreme because of frustration at being unable
to find other stories like it out there.

MAGLOR: So he's turning this into a POLITICAL struggle? Is that it?
TUMNUS: He's CAMPAIGNING for rape fics?
BORIS: Whatever he's doing, he's completely nuts.

----
CHESTERFIELD: Hey, cool; Morse code!

Arwen laughed with joy as she left the gate of Imladris;

BORIS (as Arwen): Ha! I got away; you can't punish me for castrating the
twins: nya, nya!


the warm breeze of the coming summer washing over her

TUMNUS: SPLASH!

as she rode upon her great white steed.

CHESTERFIELD: Asfaloth?
MAGLOR: Obviously not; what were you thinking?


For a moment, she had her mount stop and took in the breathtaking view of the
Trollshaw’s.

BORIS (announcer): Come to Trollshaw's for drinks, fun, and the best human
flesh in Middle-Earth!


Once one reached the top of the hill leading down to the Last Homely House,
after a short ride, the land lead down steeping into the Ford of Bruinen.

*Silence*
MAGLOR: WHAT?
TUMNUS: Don't ask.


From these heights one could see for miles and miles of beautiful forest;

BORIS (tour guide): Along with our outdoor restaurant, where you can feast
your eyes on the forest while feasting on the best food in Eriador.


greens blended with brown, sunrays falling from the clouds.

CHESTERFIELD (confused): She's staring into an Impressionist painting.

Setting off down into the valley towards the ford,

TUMNUS (as Arwen): Ha, ha; I will be the one to rescue Frodo; Glorfindel
won't even know what hit him!
MAGLOR (confused): What are you talking about?


she stretched her arms out and sighed in luxury;

BORIS (as Arwen): At last; I can masturbate without Elladan and Elrohir
popping into my room!


it was rare she got time to herself,

MAGLOR (sneer): What, did Elrond put her in a day-care center or something?

and many a time such as this it was only because she snuck away from the
watchful eyes of her fellow Elves in Rivendell.

TUMNUS: Oh, NO; it's the old, cliched sneak-out-and-get-raped plotline.
CHESTERFIELD (scowl): Oh, great.


As the daughter of Lord Elrond, she was not to leave Rivendell without escort,

*everyone groans loudly*
BORIS: Not THIS again!


and even then her parents frowned upon it.

MAGLOR: What the...?
TUMNUS: So...how do you explain her many visits to Lothlorien, then?


Her parents had seen much of the brutality that Middle-Earth bred outside the
safety of their home.

CHESTERFIELD (snicker): Yeah; Celebrian actually became PART of this
brutality.
MAGLOR: DON'T.
CHESTERFIELD: What does it matter? You haven't read "Celebrian".
MAGLOR: And I don't wish to, either. Shut up.


But Arwen had been coddled and wrapped in silk; unknowing of the dangers of the
world.

BORIS: The HELL?!
MAGLOR: But...she's traveled across Middle-Earth many times to visit
Lothlorien! How could this be?!
TUMNUS: Maybe she was transported in a suitcase.


Of course she had read of things in her fathers huge library,

CHESTERFIELD (as Arwen): Ah, let's see: The Joys of Numenorean Sex.
Aragorn is gonna LOVE this...


and she was far wiser than most elderly people of other races;

BORIS: Yeah; she didn't have Alzheimer's disease.

after all, she was over a thousand years of age. Still, this was young for an Elf, since Elves never truly became ‘old’.

MAGLOR (indignantly): Elves reach adulthood at age fifty. Over a thousand is
NOT young for an elf.


After all, her father Elrond had been the Herald of Gil-Galad when he had been
alive since the early years of the First Age,

CHESTERFIELD: Say WHAT?
TUMNUS: So he worked for Gil-Galad from the time he was born.
BORIS (laughing): I can just picture this baby crawling after Gil-Galad,
carrying a banner in his mouth.


and yet he had not married her mother until early in the Third.

BORIS (newsman): We're pretty sure his disgustingly-close relationship with
Glorfindel had something to do with this...
*Maglor slaps him*


Time did not affect the Elves; they were eternally as young and fresh as any
member of the race of Man in their late teens and early twenties.

MAGLOR (disgustedly): Oh, you wish, you disgusting pervert.

But no amount of book knowledge was enough to prepare an innocent Elf maiden
for the harsh reality of Middle-Earth.

TUMNUS (as Arwen): WHAT?! That book said there would be an inn on this road!
And the other book said there would be an ice-cream shop at the ford! THEY LIED
TO ME!


All she had seen was the beauty created and nurtured by her people.

MAGLOR (annoyed): Oh, REALLY, do I HAVE to mention Arwen's visits to
Lothlorien AGAIN?!
BORIS: Apparently yes.


Alas, she would soon learn the folly of a lone Elf maiden frolicking alone in
Middle-Earth,

*hysterical laughter*
CHESTERFIELD: FROLICKING? Arwen FROLICKS?
TUMNUS: I think Daguy got Tolkien's elves mixed up with Father Christmas's
elves.


even only an hours ride from the safety of her home.

BORIS (shaking his head): She was entering a bad, bad neighborhood...the
Arda equivalent of the Bronx...


For evil and vile creatures followed no set path, and wandered everywhere.

CHESTERFIELD: Oh, you mean Jehovah's Witnesses, or the I.R.S.
*everyone sighs deeply*


The Evenstar of the Elves was soon to be unlucky enough to be discovered some
of the worlds vile hunters

CHESTERFIELD: Vile hunters? Celegorm? Curufin? Huan?
MAGLOR (irritably): He meant orcs, you insufferable moron.
CHESTERFIELD: What the...hey, who are you calling vile, Daguy?!


She knew of the Troll’s that where this place’ namesake,

TUMNUS: Good Aslan; I'm drowning in apostrophes!

and took great pains to stick to areas well lit by sunlight.

BORIS (as Arwen): Errrghh...easy does it, horsy...get out of the shadow,
damn you! Step over it!


What she didn’t know of was the small band of Orcs that had spotted her through
the trees

CHESTERFIELD (as Orc #1): Lookee here, fellas! It's a
soon-to-be-rape-victim-Sue!
MAGLOR (as other orcs): HOORAY!!


and were tracking her from the shadows.

BORIS: "Okay, get a photo of her boobs...remember; Saruman pays a LOT
for homemade porn..."


A party of five of them, armed with crude bows and clubs

*everyone makes caveman-style grunts*

had traveled far after being chased from their usual lairs;

TUMNUS (deadpan): For the Mordor Tag Tournament had gone horribly wrong.

but now they had a purpose. Sweet, sweet Elf flesh.

MAGLOR (as orc): Dibs on the leg, Ugluk.

Arwen smiled, completely unaware of her peril,

BORIS: COMPLETELY? Well, powerful Elven eyes and hearing my ass...

her beautiful pink lips glistening as she stroked the white mane of her steed;

TUMNUS (as Arwen): Mmmm; this horse looks tasty...must eat it for lunch...

she wore a wonderful sheer white gown, low cut with a leaf green corset

CHESTERFIELD (laughing): Sorry...a low-cut, see-through gown and corset?
Forget the orcs; she's gonna be offered money by every male in Arda.


that contrasted beautifully with her almost ethereal blue eyes.

MAGLOR: Ugh.
BORIS: Sue Eye-Description #1265.
TUMNUS (puzzled): How can something be "almost ethereal"?


Her feet were bare, and she rode sidesaddle as was the custom for Elf maidens.

CHESTERFIELD (snort): Yeah, for elf maidens and ANY females.
MAGLOR: Elves don't even USE saddles.


She rode deeper and deeper into the woods;

BORIS (as Arwen): WHERE am I gonna find a decent place to pee?!

unheeding of how far from her home she had traveled. How far from aid.

TUMNUS: Well, it shouldn't matter; she must have gone out armed...didn't
she?
MAGLOR (shiver): I have a bad feeling about this...


But the woods were indeed beautiful, the smell of the foliage filling her heart
with joy.

CHESTERFIELD (as Arwen): Ah, bird shit and skunk and rotten fungus; my
favorite scents in the world!


She couldn’t understand why her father never allowed her to come out alone, why
she always had to sneak out.

BORIS: Well, isn't it OBVIOUS, you dope?! Haven't you ever seen orcs on the
way to Lothlorien?!


It was hardly as dangerous as the traveler Elves declared it to be.

*Dead silence*
MAGLOR: Oh, Iluvatar...he did NOT make her that stupid.
TUMNUS: Idiot!Arwen...what can you say? It IS new.
CHESTERFIELD: Well, what do you expect from someone who rides around in
Middle-Earth alone, unarmed, and dressed as a whore?


Around midday, she stopped her horse.

BORIS (as Arwen): Okay; hair-combing break time...

She had not eaten and surely would be missed soon,

CHESTERFIELD: Aw, cute widdle Arwen has to be back in time for dinner?

so she decided to have the small luck she had brought with her

TUMNUS: The small...luck?
MAGLOR: Something tells me she's going to need all the luck she can get.


and have a swift journey back home. But as she was about to dismount, food in
hand, it happened.

BORIS: She keeled over and died of a heart attack. The end.
TUMNUS: Glorfindel charged in and ran her through with a spear. The end.


All happening so fast all she would remember later would be flashes.

CHESTERFIELD (sickened): Hurk...how can you rape someone that fast? It's
impossible!


An arrow striking her beloved mount directly in the neck, and the mortally
wounded beast rearing up and throwing her.

BORIS: Oh...great.
MAGLOR: Well, that ride ended somewhat disappointingly.


The leaves and branches above her as she handed hard on the ground,

TUMNUS (as Arwen, stupidly): It's autumn! Look at the leaves falling!

the breath being knocked from her lungs. As her vision faded to black the sight of an Orc sneering above her.

ALL (as orc): 'ELLO!

She thought they would kill her, but she would suffer far worse than death at
their hands.

CHESTERFIELD: Hey, you're giving away the plot!
BORIS (scowl): The plot was given away by the TITLE, you idiot.
CHESTERFIELD: I was kidding, Boris.
*all exit the theater*



Review here.
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jules14
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(Wo)man on a Mission
When she awoke, it was almost dark, the sky burning orange,

TUMNUS (gasp): They took her all the way to Mordor?! How did they manage
that?!


and the hastily set up camp was bathed in light from the roaring fire in the
center.

BORIS (as orcs, singing): Sing around the campfire...grunt, grunt, grunt...

The wonderful smell of roasting meat washed over her,

CHESTERFIELD: Wow, she's getting washed a lot in this thing.
MAGLOR: I wish we were so lucky.


and for a moment she dwelled on how hungry she was, then with a start realized.

BORIS (as Arwen): Oh, bloody hell; I'm on a diet!

Her horse. Her beloved steed. She had been captured, by Orcs.

TUMNUS (in shock): She JUST realized this?!
MAGLOR (amazed): If Arwen were REALLY this stupid...


They were eating her horse!

BORIS: Oh.
CHESTERFIELD: Hey, why not? It was free food!


A tear of sorrow fell down her cheek at the fate of her faithful mount.

MAGLOR: Well, don't just sit there mourning your horse! Get up and run! Come
on; you're not tied up, and they're not even watching you! Run away!


But why was she still alive? Why was she not roasting upon the fire?

BORIS: I think it's your diet; your meat's too skinny and tough for the orcs
to enjoy.
MAGLOR: Stop wondering stupid questions! Run, run, run! This is a perfect
opportunity to escape; why are you wasting it?!


She had read many a tale of how Orcs ate the flesh of almost anything they
killed, even their own kind.

TUMNUS (as Arwen, stupidly): Maybe if I bury myself in the ground they won't
find me...
*Maglor clutches his forehead*


She let out a slight whimper of uncertain fear. A mistake.

CHESTERFIELD: Come ON, Arwen! Argh! WHY is she just sitting there?!
BORIS (incredulously): They're not even watching her! They didn't even bind
her! What the hell is wrong with her?!


The noise drew the attention of the feasting Orcs,

MAGLOR (grimace): Too late.

and their leader, an Orc larger than the norm stood and threw a long bone
aside.

BORIS: "Oh, you're awake at last, are you? You WILL tell us the secret
formula, Miss Undomiel...ha, ha, ha..."


He leered at her, the fire and her own fallen form reflected in his yellow
eyes.

TUMNUS (as Arwen): Whoa, that's creepy...

His foul face was split wide with a cruel grin,

CHESTERFIELD: Yuck; blood and brains spraying everywhere.

his sharp rotten teeth gleaming with saliva.

BORIS: "I ain't brushed me teeth in an 'undred years, an' I'm proud of
it!"


His five companions where just a vile looking,

CHESTERFIELD (outraged): Vile? VILE?! Hey, we orcs are better-looking than
those sissified elves, you bastard!
MAGLOR (threateningly): One more comment out of you...


and they where all staring at her with a look she couldn’t read. One an innocent young Elf had never seen within the walls of Rivendell.

TUMNUS (as Arwen): Oh, hello...why did you capture me? Couldn't we work this
out? I'm...


The leader looked at the other Orcs and gestured at her, his grin widening.

BORIS: "She's still 'ere? Good Sauron; this 'as gotta be a record fer stupid
elves!"


Begging to chuckle with glee,

ALL: "Please, PLEASE let us chuckle with glee! Please?"

they slowly surrounded the fearful Elf girl,

*everyone cringes*
MAGLOR: "Elf-girl"? Dear Iluvatar, that's almost as bad as
"she-elf".


one snapping his teeth playfully at her.

CHESTERFIELD: "We're takin' ya to the dentist, bitch!"

This was it, she was going to die, she knew it. They had just wanted her to be
awake for it.

MAGLOR: Oh, for the love of Eru!
TUMNUS: Her idiocy surpasses all idiocy!
BORIS: I really don't believe this.


She was half right; they had wanted her to be awake for what they had in mind.

*everyone groans loudly*
TUMNUS: Look, Daguy; show us, don't tell us!


“Y-you beasts!” A spark of defiance flared in the daughter of Elrond

CHESTERFIELD (as orcs, Tom Servo): "W-we're just as God ma-ade us,
mad-am..."


“Y-you shall not g-get away with this!”

*Boris hums the "Haunting Torgo Theme*
CHESTERFIELD (Torgo): "A-and the m-master w-wouldn't ap-prove..."


The fearful tremor in her voice ruined the threat somehwhat,

*Pause, then laughter*

and the Orcs laughed cruelly. They moved a little closer to her, slowly,
predatory.

TUMNUS: "Look, girl, you've been rape-victim-Sueified. Deal with
it!"


“Little high-and-mighty Elf girly still has some fire left.” The Orc leader
taunted,

MAGLOR (laughing): "Little high-and-mighty Elf girly"?
BORIS: Sheesh; it's the fourth-grade-class-clown orc.


standing back slightly and observing. “I’m sure you fellas will fix that.

CHESTERFIELD: "Grab the fire hoses!"

You guys deserve a treat, I’ll go last.”

TUMNUS: Oh, he's such a kindhearted and generous orc, isn't he?
BORIS: Yeah...giving his men a treat...


“L-last for what?” Arwen whimpered in a scared voice;

MAGLOR (shocked and frustrated): WHY are you ASKING them?!
TUMNUS: I think she REALLY wants to know what they have planned for her...hence
the reason why she didn't try to escape.
BORIS: Oh, BROTHER, this is pathetic.


but then they where upon her.

CHESTERFIELD: "Now give us your wallet!"

They shredded her beautiful gown with ease, all pulling from different
directions;

TUMNUS (as Arwen): Hey, stop that! That dress was expensive; you'll have to
pay for it, you know!


baring her body to their eyes and touch.

BORIS (excitedly): Hey, it's just like opening a present on Christmas
morning, only...not.


They didn’t even pause to admire her smooth, slender body,

MAGLOR: Eh, they saw plenty of it under that transparent dress...

simply seeking their own fulfillment and pleasures.

TUMNUS: And...we're supposed to expect them to take photographs of her
first?


One of the Orcs immediately went for her breasts,

BORIS (as orc): Got milk?

squeezing the handfuls of flesh painfully in its sharp claws, leaving bruises
where its fingertips had dug in.

CHESTERFIELD: Hey, he's using them for those stress-reliever balls!
*everyone stares at Chesterfield*


The others where only slightly slower in seizing parts of her body.

TUMNUS (checking an imaginary watch): Orc foreplay begins...now.

“N-no, please no! A-ada!” She cried out

MAGLOR (cringe): Ada? Does anyone else find that somewhat disturbing?

as they abused her, hurt her, tears running down her perfect cheeks.

BORIS: Oh, excellent details, Daguy...they were ABUSING and HURTING her! I
actually feel like I'm there!


One of the Orcs knelt with its face hovering over her thighs;

*everyone makes helicopter noises*

perfectly smooth and hairless, leading up to her sparsely-haired virgin pussy.

ALL: Oooh...Aaaaah...

Opening its mouth, it latched onto her smooth inner thigh and lapped at her flesh with its tongue,

MAGLOR: "Ugh; tastes like lembas."

and then sunk its fangs into her creamy thigh without hesitation,

BORIS (Cookie Monster): "COWABUNGA!"

causing her to let out a loud cry of pain. It pulled back slightly,

TUMNUS: "Oh, sorry, dear, did I hurt you?"

lapping at her smooth flesh; tasting her sweetness

CHESTERFIELD: Sheesh; these are some really romantic orcs!
MAGLOR: Indeed; I thought you orcs and Uruk-hai NEVER practiced foreplay.
CHESTERFIELD: We don't...that's the point!


and caressing all he could reach of her thighs with its grimy hand,

BORIS: Yeah...so is it a "he" or an "it"? Make up your
mind, Daguy.


leaving red welts where its nails rubbed.

TUMNUS: Oh, it's a considerate orc with nail polish on.
MAGLOR: Perhaps this one is actually a female.


She sobbed, her body shaking with degradation and shame as they toyed with her
body,

CHESTERFIELD (as orcs): Look, lady, we're doing FOREPLAY here! What the hell
more do you want?!
BORIS: If she didn't want this to happen, why didn't she run away in the
beginning?


one of them using her left hand to caress its crotch through its filthy loin
cloth.

TUMNUS (slapping his forehead): Oh, Aslan...not the loincloths again...
BORIS: Just WHY do fanfic authors ALWAYS make monsters and sexual predators
wear loincloths?!


She could feel its hardness under her touch, supringly large to the innocent
Elf.

MAGLOR (choke): Oh, Eru; this is going to be like the scene in Young
Frankenstein
...
CHESTERFIELD (guffaw): Actually, that would be pretty funny.


Then, it ripped its own loincloth off,

BORIS: "Okay, foreplay's over..."

and her hand came into contact with its precum coated member,

CHESTERFIELD (as ditsy!Arwen): Oh, wow; this feels, like, so cool!

wrapping her slender fingers that had never been used in such away around the
fleshy rod,

TUMNUS: Just pry your fingers free or scratch him, Arwen!

the Orc started pumping her soft hand up and down its length.

BORIS (singing): Pump to the rhythm!...

The last Orc had not been idle,

MAGLOR: He'd been lighting candles, setting out roses, and putting on soft
music.


it knelt at her head, and released its cock from its confines, allowing it to
bounce above her face.

CHESTERFIELD: Argh! It's the bouncing penises! This IS going to be like
"Celebrian"!
BORIS: Oh, Sauron, NO.


It reached down for her and she cringed, but was surprised when it grabbed a
thick length of her hair.

TUMNUS (as orc): We are going to make you look TERRIFIC...I think a perm
will look wonderful on you...


She closed her eyes tightly in disgust;

MAGLOR (as Arwen): Note to self: NEVER get my hair styled by orcs again.

as it wrapped her soft beautiful hair around its hand, and began using it
pleasure itself;

CHESTERFIELD: Whoa; she's givin' him a hair job!
BORIS (amazed): Now THAT'S original.


her clean stands becoming slimy and filthy

MAGLOR: Her...stands? Her band stands?
CHESTERFIELD (confused): Where's the slime supposed to be coming from?


as they where used to caress the creatures member.

TUMNUS (shaking his head): I believe Daguy actually thinks it's supposed to
be "where" instead of "were". He's made the mistake too
many times for it to be an accident.
MAGLOR: How pathetic.


It seemed no part of her was going to remain sacred and undefiled, and the
thought made her sob harder.

BORIS (incredulous): She's about to be raped and she's worrying about her
HAIR?!
TUMNUS (as Arwen, sniffle): And I just washed it this morning, too!


The beast at her breasts was growing bored of crushing the creamy orbs

CHESTERFIELD: She's got crystal balls for breasts?
MAGLOR: "Well, this is getting boring...who wants to leave her and come
have a drink with me?"


in its hands, and lowered its mouth to her breasts,

BORIS: "All right! More free lunch!"

running its long tongue around a pink nipple

CHESTERFIELD (relieved): Well, at least he didn't make it lavender.

and pinching the other cruelly between its nails,

TUMNUS: "Pokey, pokey...snicker..."

causing the terrified Arwen’s body to shudder in fear and disgust,

BORIS (confused): Wasn't she already shuddering in fear and disgust?
MAGLOR (incredulous): So she's not even FIGHTING them off?! She's just ALLOWING
this to happen?!


whimpers escaping her tightly closed lips;

CHESTERFIELD (as Arwen): Oh...oh, yes...I mean, no!...ohhh...

expecting it to bite down on her smooth orbs every time its fangs pricked her.

BORIS (amazed, laughing): And Daguy uses the word "orbs" AGAIN!
TUMNUS: I think that next to "boobs," that's the worst euphemism for
breasts ever.


Within seconds her nipples were covered in a vile coating of slimy drool.

CHESTERFIELD (enraged): Argh! WHY does everyone assume that orc bodily
fluids are slimy and vile?! It's not true! It's a disgusting stereotype!
MAGLOR (rolling his eyes): Do shut up, Chesterfield.


Suddenly, the Orc using her now slimy hand,

BORIS: Geez; were the orcs using slime as some sort of lubricant?

stiffened up, shuddered, moving closer to her.

TUMNUS: "Can't you understand what I'm trying to tell you, elf? I love
you!"


Its cock convulsed a few times in her hand;

MAGLOR (gag): It's dancing! Argh!

and then her smooth stomach was showered in a thick, cloudy goo as the Orc came
on her.

CHESTERFIELD: Hair gel!
BORIS: Oh, boy...if she actually wonders what it is, I am gonna piss myself
laughing.


The slime pooled in her bellybutton, splotches of the foul liquid all over her
previously untouched skin.

CHESTERFIELD: Orc semen is not slimy and disgusting! Here, let me prove it to you...
MAGLOR: NO.
CHESTERFIELD (scowl): This sucks; now you won't let me prove it. Whenever I
tried to prove it to Jules, she always pulled out a shotgun.


She felt sick. She felt dirty.

TUMNUS: Well, goodness...could that be because she IS dirty? I wonder...

She had little time to dwell, as her next ordeal was in motion.

BORIS (sickened): They're going to put a dildo in her anus, aren't they?
MAGLOR (retch): Oh, Iluvatar...


Her ankles where seized and her legs roughly spread;

CHESTERFIELD: Arwen's Legs, the brand-new sandwich spread! Only $6.25!

her innocence in open view of the Orcs,

MAGLOR (confused): Now they can read her mind?

a hint of pink showing from between her untouched labia. The Orc that had bitten her crawled between her legs, and her ankles where
released.

TUMNUS: "Hmmm; smells rather bad down here, but I don't see any baby
trying to come out...nor can I find that hidden treasure chest I was looking
for..."


She tried kicking her legs, trying to move him from between her tender thighs.

BORIS (sneer): Oh, NOW you're trying to escape, eh, Arwen? What's the
matter? Is your curiosity finally satisfied?
MAGLOR (furiously): "Tender thighs"... ALWAYS the same descriptions
used in these fics! What cliché is he going to use next, "shapely
legs"?


The Orc thrust its crotch forwards slightly, and lay its cock upon her mound,

CHESTERFIELD: What, she's got a breast near her vagina too?

precum drooling down into her pubic hair.

*Maglor retches loudly. Chesterfield looks enraged*

Reaching down, it spread her pussy open,

ALL: MEOW!

and ran its oozing head up and down it and let the lips close on its tip.

TUMNUS: Which head is Daguy talking about?
BORIS: Isn't it obvious?


It growled in longing, while she sobbed in disgust.

CHESTERFIELD: Oh, nice harmony there.

As he prepared to thrust forwards into her, she began thrashing around, crying and screaming denials;

CHESTERFIELD (as Arwen): No, no, NO! This isn't supposed to happen! I'm
supposed to be more intelligent than this! I'm trapped in a rape fic! Have
mercy!


and then her mouth hung open is a silent gasp

BORIS (confused): Isn't that the first line of one of those terrible
emo-gawthic poems?


and her tear filled eyes widened in horror,

TUMNUS (as Arwen): Father? No, father, it's not what it looks like! I can
explain...


as the Orc thrust into her cruelly.

TUMNUS: Oh.

A thin line of blood ran down between her ass cheeks, proof of her lost
innocence.

CHESTERFIELD (shocked): Oh, my Saruman, his cock went right through her
body!
*Maglor vomits into a barf bag*


The Orc growled from slight discomfort; she was too dry inside.

BORIS: "Well, all our foreplay didn't work, so what can I say?"

Pulling back out, grinning at the blood coating his cock,

CHESTERFIELD: "I think I got through her small intestine!"
MAGLOR (angrily): Chesterfield, do you WANT me to vomit again?


he spat into her pussy, still slightly open from her deflowering.

TUMNUS (snort): "Deflowering"?
BORIS: Boy, I love how one minute he uses the word "pussy" and then
he uses the word "deflowering".


Aligning himself, he thrust in again, this time with no problem,

MAGLOR (deadpan): I don't think so.

enjoying her mewling whines of pain as he sunk into her unexplored depths;

*Boris hums the "Indiana Jones" theme*
CHESTERFIELD (announcer): Boldly going where no orc has gone before!


her silky warm womanhood tightly caressing his length

BORIS: Whoa; now he's describing it like it's consensual!
TUMNUS (confused): So how much of this is actually rape?


causing the Orc to yowl in pleasure.

*much laughter*
MAGLOR: Wait...we have an orc YOWLING here.
CHESTERFIELD: Awoo! Awoo! Awoo!


As he began thrusting, all Arwen did was wince.

*Silence*
TUMNUS: Is this a pathetic attempt to make her seem tough?


She lay limp as the Orcs defiled her; tears running down her cheeks,

MAGLOR (disgusted): Oh, how in character; she just gives up immediately.
BORIS: Maybe she realizes it's actually her fault.


staring into nothing, as she quietly cried,

CHESTERFIELD: So fade away, you idiot! You're an elf, remember?

her silence only broken by an occasional gasping sob that she couldn’t hold
back.

TUMNUS (completely confused): So why is she TRYING to hold it back?
BORIS (sigh): Oh, logic, where have you gone?


She didn’t even bat any eyelid when the Orc using her hair covered her
previously glossy locks in come.

CHESTERFIELD: Man, she has REALLY gotten used to this in a short time,
hasn't she?
MAGLOR (shrug): Perhaps her spirit has faded to Mandos.


But she was still there,

MAGLOR (scowl): Never mind.

could feel every ridge of the vile slimy cock

*Chesterfield lunges at the screen, only to be held back by Tumnus and
Boris*


buried inside her most sacred place,

BORIS (confused): Inside her church?

feel everything the beast mauling her breasts did.

TUMNUS: Again with the details!
MAGLOR: Odd how Daguy describes some parts in detail and passes over others.


Could feel the eyes of the two creatures that had come, as they raked over her
body

BORIS (Colonel Sandurz): "Sir, are we being too literal?"
CHESTERFIELD (Dark Helmet): "No, you fool; we're following orders. We were
told to comb the desert, so we're combing it!"


and idly caressed their still half hard cocks.

MAGLOR: And...it's time to leave now. Thank Eru.
*all exit the theater*



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The Orc at her breasts didn’t like her silence;

CHESTERFIELD (announcer): So, when we left off last time, Arwen was being
raped—we suspect she was secretly enjoying it, as she neither chose to fade
away nor tried to fight off the orcs...


it wanted to hear her suffering, hear her scream. Wanted her torment vocalized.

TUMNUS: So much so, in fact, that it decided to write an opera about it.

So it fulfilled her earlier fear; and bit down on one of her fleshy orbs,

*laughter*
BORIS (exasperated): Stop calling them that!


sinking its fangs into her breast. Her deflowering had marked her,

MAGLOR: With red paint.

made her feel so dirty and violated that she hadn’t been able to make a sound.

CHESTERFIELD: HUH?!
TUMNUS (confused): Is that even possible?


It had been a scream of the soul.

BORIS: Oh, no...Daguy, you did NOT just write that...you did NOT actually
type those words.
CHESTERFIELD: Yeah; that one reeked of gorgonzola.


But this, this was a different sort of pain,

MAGLOR: For one thing, it was much SHARPER...

this was one of the most sensitive areas of her body being punctured by dull
fangs. She screamed.

*Awkward silence*
CHESTERFIELD: So...Arwen screams when her breasts are bitten, but not when an even MORE
sensitive area of her body has something blunt and heavy shoved into it?
TUMNUS (shaking his head): Something is QUITE wrong with her.


It pierced the night, holding all the suffering she had endured
so far.

MAGLOR (as Manwe): Shhh! Did you hear that?
BORIS (as Varda): Oh, bloody Morgoth, it's another rape-victim-Sue...just
ignore it, dear.


She couldn’t see how it was going to get worse. Yet it was.

CHESTERFIELD: Next they were planning to give her a potion that would make her breasts grow
to the size of planets...
MAGLOR: I SAID no "Celebrian" references!


She could feel the Orc inside her speeding up, breathing heavily

MAGLOR: "Gonna win me this race, here..."

as it’s dirty groin slapped noisily against her creamy inner thighs and crotch.

CHESTERFIELD (yogurt commercial): Start your morning off with the deliciously smooth, creamy
taste of Arwen's Thighs and Crotch.


She whimpered with each sweaty impact, as the Orc was gaining a lot of force
behind its thrusts.

BORIS: Wow; somebody filled up its gas tank.
CHESTERFIELD: So does that mean it's going to start farting a lot?


Her feet and toes clenched and curled with each slam. Wet squelches filled the
camp, almost competing with her sobs.

MAGLOR (retch): Thank you, but we didn't really need the sound effects,
Daguy...
TUMNUS: I'm going to be sick...


She wanted to die, she couldn’t take what these creatures were doing to her.

BORIS: Arwen, two words: FADE AWAY. Come on; Eru lets you elves do it if
you're raped and too traumatized to stay in Middle-Earth!


The Orc rutting her froze up;

TUMNUS: I say, it's a freak snowstorm!

the cock inside her pulsed, once, twice, and she felt a wetness seeping deep
inside her. Spreading.

CHESTERFIELD: TIDAL WAVE!
BORIS: KOOL-AID!
*fourth wall creaks*


She burst into a fresh flood of tears, feeling sick to her stomach, sick in her
soul.

BORIS: "Sick in her soul"? Oh, please...
MAGLOR: How can she burst into a fresh flood of tears if she's been crying
constantly?!


The creatures’ filth deep inside her, Orc sperm in her womb. Her innocence completely
stripped from her.

TUMNUS: Her brains nonexistent!

All because she had been so foolish as to doubt her peoples experience of the
world. She was defiled.

CHESTERFIELD (mock sadness): It's funny how things work out, isn't it?

The Orcs backed away from the traumatized Elf girl,

BORIS: "Traumatized"? That's a goddamn understatement!
MAGLOR (disgustedly): And he said "Elf girl" again too.


smirking and looking down at their handiwork.

TUMNUS: "The Mordor Art Museum will pay a lot for her; no question
about that..."


Arwen lay, simply staring into space with tears pouring from her eyes,
unblinking and lost in her own torment.

CHESTERFIELD (irritably): Yeah, so what ELSE is new? Geez; stop repeating
yourself.


The bite marks on her thigh and breast had beads of blood drying upon them,

BORIS: Well, damn.

her skin was smudged with dirt from the Orcs own filthy flesh rubbing against
it,

MAGLOR (stunned): Good Eru, that's filthy even for orcs!

and the semen that had pooled in her bellybutton and on her stomach had dried
on her.

CHESTERFIELD (groan): Oh, great, here come the semen baths...I should have
expected it...


Her hair was messy where the Orc had used it to pleasure himself,

TUMNUS: Why am I not surprised?!

and in areas it was clumped together where the come had caked and dried.

CHESTERFIELD (shaking his head): Didn't Daguy realize how OBVIOUS it was
that he copied this stuff from "Celebrian"? I mean, anybody who's
READ "Celebrian" could tell.
MAGLOR: So he's not simply a disgusting pervert, but a plagiarist as well?
Excellent.


Even though the Orc was no longer keeping them open, her thighs remained spread
open; all thoughts of modesty far from her tortured mind.

BORIS (losing control): NO FUCKING SHIT?! WHO THINKS OF MODESTY AFTER
THEY'RE RAPED?!


Her pussy was the largest difference. No longer was it a tightly closed clam,

*Pause*
TUMNUS: "Clam"? That's new.
CHESTERFIELD: This gives me a great idea for a Spongebob Squarepants lemon...


fresh and pink looking with a slight coating of soft dark hair. It gaped open, red and raw looking, a red line where her blood had run trailed
down her ass.

*Maglor and Tumnus throw up*
CHESTERFIELD: Well, at least she's actually in pain...


Her thighs had bruises where the Orcs fingers had dug into them as he fucked
her,

BORIS: What, "fucked"? No dumb euphemisms like
"deflowered" or "defiled" or "violated"? Daguy,
are you feeling okay?


and her pubic hair was matted with precum.

TUMNUS: This is why, teenagers, you should abstain from sex.

From her previously pure hole, a thick stream of vile Orc semen ran down to the
crack of her ass.

MAGLOR (sickened): Her..."hole"?
CHESTERFIELD: Wow...now he's not even trying.


But her ordeal was not yet over;

ALL: WHAT?!
BORIS: Argh! WHY does it always have to be gang-rape in these rape fics?!


the Orc that had been so fascinated with her breasts still sported a painfully
still pole.

TUMNUS: Oh, excellent; time for a break from all this rape. We'll be able to
watch a pole-dance instead.


But this one didn’t want a used hole. He had other orifices in mind.

*everyone looks sick*
MAGLOR: W-what other orifices? Only her mouth and anus can be used...
CHESTERFIELD: Nuh-uh; don't forget her navel, her nostrils, and...
*everyone hits Chesterfield*


Stepping forwards he lifted the distraught Elf up by her matted hair,

TUMNUS: "Now I'm gonna hang you in my room and use you as a punchin'
bag!"


as the other Orc went for a breather and some meat.

BORIS: Oh, these orcs have a nice system worked out; rape and eat, rape and eat.

“You ‘ungry Elfy?” The Orc growled at her,

CHESTERFIELD: That's Elphaba's nickname in Wicked, isn't it?
MAGLOR: Hush! No Broadway references in a rape fic!


lifting her chin to look at him with grubby hand,

TUMNUS (pidgin): Ooh, he got grubby hand and she got no brain...

her eyes cleared a little but she didn’t respond.

BORIS (as Arwen, thinking): You know, now that I think of it, he IS kind of
cute...


“I ‘ope so, ‘cos your about to get plenty of meat!”

CHESTERFIELD (as Arwen, stupidly): Great! I'm starving! When...arrrrghhhhh!

Holding her hair with one hand, and his own length with the other, he

BORIS (Monty Python): Suffered a fatal heart attack...the fanfiction peril
was no more!


thrust his crotch forward and pressed his slimy cock against her soft pink
lips,

MAGLOR: Argh! Enough with the slimy cocks! Can you not at least use ANOTHER
word besides "slimy"?!


expecting her to keep her teeth clenched, or at least to try and bite him.

TUMNUS: Well, in that case, he just didn't know pathetic, stupid,
rape-victim-Sue!Arwen.


Yet she simply let it slip into her mouth obediently,

TUMNUS: You see?
CHESTERFIELD: Bingo.


and started lightly sucking on his head, still staring vacantly at nothing.

MAGLOR: Wait...WHAT?!
BORIS: What the hell is going on?
CHESTERFIELD (as Arwen): Ah, well; I might as well relax and enjoy it.


She was so focused on her pain, that she was only aware of things around her in
abstract.

TUMNUS: "Pain"? But she's...but...she started it this time!
BORIS: Oh, COME on...now she actually LIKES THIS?!


She knew she was willingly sucking one of these horrid creatures,

MAGLOR (shaking his head): I still don't believe it—she goes from a victim
to a whore in the space of one sentence?


she could smell and taste the vile long-unwashed organ that she held between
her lips,

CHESTERFIELD: And she LOVED it, the messy ho!
*Maglor gags loudly*


it wasn’t so much that she was willing to do it, than if she just got it over
with it would all be over and they would kill her.

*Silence. Dead, horrified silence*
BORIS: That is, without a doubt, the biggest pile of Warg shit trying to pass
itself off as logic I have EVER read.
TUMNUS: I think I can hear generations of feminists rolling in their graves.
CHESTERFIELD: Look, Daguy, if you wanted Arwen to be willing to do this, WHY
THE HELL DID YOU WRITE A RAPE FIC?!
*Maglor looks sick*


“Put a bit more effort int’ it!”

*Boris imitates porn music*

The Orc was undecided, a nice little obedient Elf slave sucking his cock was
good,

MAGLOR: Ugh... (clutches his forehead)
CHESTERFIELD: As Mike Nelson once said about a movie, this story is an insult
to one-celled animals.


but he liked his victims to cry, to fight a little. To react.

TUMNUS (sneer): Then you should have raped a stronger, less pathetic victim,
eh?


Still observing from a distance, the captain wondered if they had actually
broke her.

BORIS: Of course you broke her! If you doubt it, go back and read Daguy's
nasty description of her vagina after the assault!


Wouldn’t have surprised him, pathetic Elves where always easy to break.

MAGLOR (disgustedly): Oh, yes, weren't Feanor and Maedhros and Luthien and
Fingolfin and Finrod and Aredhel and Idril Celebrindal pathetic and easy to
break? NO!!


Still, he was an older Orc, and what he had planned for his eventual turn would
bring her back to reality sharpish.

CHESTERFIELD: "Back to reality"? So she's going to wake up and
find this is all a nightmare?
TUMNUS (frown): It's a VERY long and detailed nightmare.


The Orc slowly began thrusting his hips back and forth, fucking her slippy,
smooth lips.

BORIS (little kid voice): I'm Slippy the Lips!
MAGLOR: I think there was a spelling mistake in there.


He was surprised again as a sluggish but dainty hand,

CHESTERFIELD: Slapped him.

the owner seemingly hardly able to lift it,

TUMNUS: Oh, yes, of course; one of the side affects of rape is weak arms.

wrapped itself around the lower half of his cock not in her mouth, and began
pumping;

CHESTERFIELD: Geez; for a supposed virgin, she's unnervingly good at this!

and an unenthusiastic tongue began lapping at the tip of his cock.

BORIS: Oh, unenthusiastic my ass; it's OBVIOUS she's enjoying this! Why else
would she put so much effort and variety into it?!
MAGLOR: I really AM going to be sick now...


Even distanced from it, she couldn’t help but gag a little

TUMNUS (as Arwen): Oops...I'm quite out of practice...

as fresh precum oozed from his end, the salty goo making her want to be sick.

*everyone vomits*
CHESTERFIELD: What is with the floods of precum and semen?! It's not arousing;
it's sick!


On her knees, she could feel the semen running down her inner thigh,

ALL: GAH!

and a slight throbbing from her bite wounds.

BORIS (as Daguy): Okay, readers, remember: this is rape. It's supposed to be
painful, so don't be fooled by Arwen's blowjob here.


But everything felt far so away.

*all facefault*

Once she had made him come, they would kill her and it would all be over.

CHESTERFIELD: AND she would get to drink his yummy semen and then
masturbate!


As the Orcs breathing started to get ragged, she sped up her pumping and sucked a little harder, licking the tip in a circular
motion;

BORIS: So THIS is what Arwen does whenever she sneaks out of Rivendell. Who
knew?


tears began running down her cheeks again,

CHESTERFIELD (exasperated): Sheesh; she's a fuckin' FOUNTAIN in this thing!
If she cries anymore, she'll drown the orcs in tears!
MAGLOR (deadpan): Perhaps that is how she'll defeat them...


because no matter how distant she felt,

TUMNUS: She would always have orcs to comfort her during those lonely
nights.


she was still having to suck one of her dirty tormentors to orgasm.

BORIS: HAVING to? What do you mean, she was HAVING to?

Hand on the back of her head, his thrusting became more wild and urgent,

BORIS (singing): WILD thang...you make ma HEART sang...

causing her to gag when he thrust too deep.

TUMNUS (as Arwen, stupidly): I don't think this is as fun as I expected...

Finally, he was growling a little with each thrust,

MAGLOR: "Stop doing that, stop doing that...you weren't supposed to
like this, dammit..."


and he was making her gag with almost every thrust, but finally he was going to
finish.

CHESTERFIELD: Hey, how did she know that?
BORIS: I tell you, she's had plenty of practice at this.


It would be over. Giving him an extra hard suck and whip-like flick of her
tongue;

BORIS: See what I mean?
TUMNUS (as Arwen): Just a little trick I learned from an orc captain five years
ago...hee, hee...


she tried pulling her mouth of off the cock, But he held her head firmly in
place,

CHESTERFIELD: "Hey, you made your bed, now lay in it, bitch! I thought
you liked this!"


her pink lips wrapped around his throbbing cock.

MAGLOR: They were tied in a bow around it.

She began struggling, coming back to reality.

BORIS (as Arwen): Wait, this isn't a chicken drumstick... arrrrghhhhh!

Making him come so they would end things was one thing, swallowing his acrid
seed was another.

TUMNUS (sarcastically): Oh, that's quite a big difference; really, it is.
CHESTERFIELD: Another example of Daguy's impeccable logic, gentlemen.


They had already filled her womb with it and tainted her forever,

MAGLOR (as Arwen): Oh, fine; for two months, then.

wasn’t that enough degradation?

BORIS: Oh, don't even answer that.
MAGLOR: If she actually ASKS this...


The first jet of semen pooled on the center of her tongue,

TUMNUS: With all this "pooling" going on, you'd think this fic
took place in a billiards parlor.


which she swallowed instinctively,

CHESTERFIELD: Her tongue?
MAGLOR: No, the semen...wait...INSTINCTIVELY?


the second was spread on her glistening lips

*everyone sighs deeply*

as she yanked her mouth off his cock with all the strength she could muster, and the third and fourth sprays coated her entire face.

MAGLOR: Oh, dear Iluvatar...
CHESTERFIELD: Ugh..."Celebrian"...blech...


She fell backwards away from him, and turned onto her hands and knees

TUMNUS (as Arwen): So who's next? Anyone? Anyone?

retching at the taste, texture and idea of being made to swallow his seed.

*Pause*
MAGLOR (slowly and deliberately): YOU...BROUGHT...IT...ON...YOURSELF!


It dripped from her fair face, and she felt as if it was burning away any
beauty she had possessed.

CHESTERFIELD: THAT is so cheesy a rat would be disgusted!
BORIS: Bad enough this has to be so gross, but to be poorly written as well...


If she ever saw a mirror again, she knew she would always see herself with this
seed dripping from her skin.

TUMNUS: You know, I could be wrong, but I'm relatively sure that a bath or a
shower would clear up that problem.


She was dirty. She had willingly sucked an Orc cock and swallowed his cum.

MAGLOR: Well, it's not as if she HAD to do it!
BORIS: Yeah, but she's got the IQ of a dead fly, Maglor.


She could taste it on her lips.

ALL (as Arwen): MMMMM!

Her throat felt thick where it had coated.

TUMNUS (sickened): Ugh...it COATED her throat? Excuse me...
*he grabs a barf bag and throws up into it*


The other Orc went to join his fellows and eat, leaving her laying in the fetal
position on the hard, sweat soaked dirt.

CHESTERFIELD: Wait...now we've gotta leave? And this isn't even the end?!
NOW I WANNA GET THIS OVER WITH! I'M NOT GOING!
TUMNUS: Chesterfield, hush; you're starting to sound like pathetic, stupid,
rape-victim-Sue!Arwen.
CHESTERFIELD: ARGH!!
*he is dragged out of the theater*



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She lay there, no longer feeling distant. Just used.
Violated. Dirty.

*everyone sighs irritably*
BORIS: WE KNOW BY NOW!


She stunk, she knew it, she smelled of her own terror and sweat, and of their
filth and spunk.

CHESTERFIELD(perfume commercial): This scent is NOT available at your local
drugstore.


She didn’t even know if she had been impregnated, she didn’t know if an Orc
could get an Elf pregnant.

*Pause*
MAGLOR: Oh...NO.
TUMNUS: Stay calm...this has to be almost over...


Violated and impregnated by an Orc, it wasn’t something Elves regularly
documented.

MAGLOR (snarl): Perhaps because it NEVER HAPPENED?

Tears of a loathing not all aimed at the Orcs ran down her cheeks.

CHESTERFIELD (groan): That is the TENTH TIME that sentence has been used! We
KNOW she has tears running down her cheeks!


And yet they wouldn’t end her suffering, they just sat eating her horses’
remains.

BORIS: HER suffering? HER suffering?! What about OUR suffering, huh?! Who
CARES about her suffering when we're suffering too?!


Except the captain, he just stood staring at her.

TUMNUS: "Now I'm gonna beat ya in a starin' contest!"

Then she realized, he had never had his turn.

MAGLOR: WHAT?!
CHESTERFIELD: No! Now we have to read more of this!


When was he going to violate her too?

TUMNUS (angrily): Never, if you'd actually COME TO YOUR SENSES AND RUN
AWAY!


She knew without a doubt he would. At least he was the last one. He would rape
her and then they would kill her.

BORIS: This is ridiculous. I mean, I know she's in terrible physical pain by
now, but she'd still TRY to get away! I mean, does she want to be in even more
pain?!


But could she bear another assault?

TUMNUS: Oh, I don't know.

She feared that the touch of even one more Orc would shatter what remained of
her sanity, if not destroy her soul.

BORIS: Yeah, how about destroying her VAGINA, while we're at it?
MAGLOR (slowly and deliberately): You know, your soul wouldn't have a chance of
being destroyed if you'd only FADE AWAY TO MANDOS!


But they left her alone for a long while; finishing their meal and planning
their next move.

CHESTERFIELD: "This 'ere's good 'orse...after we eat, let's go capture
an' rape Aragorn an' Legolas!"
TUMNUS: "Aw, Ugluk, we been doin' that every day this week!"


Yet the captain still watched her, never taking his eyes off her.

BORIS: "She's so beautiful...forget the rape; I want to marry her and
spend the rest of my life with her..."


The suspense was terrible, and at times she found herself shaking,

MAGLOR (as Arwen): Come on, come on...I can't wait!

wondering if he would use her mouth or pussy, or both.

TUMNUS (deadpan): He's going to use her anus, isn't he?
CHESTERFIELD: No duh.


Any thoughts like that immediately set her off crying and shaking again.

BORIS (shaking his head): If Elves were really this pathetic, the Noldor
would have all been killed by Morgoth in barely one day.


Most of the time was spent with her curled into a ball reliving her experiences
of the day.

CHESTERFIELD (as Arwen): Hmmm...dress like a slut, sneak out of Rivendell,
get a horse killed, get raped by orcs...the usual.


The come that coated her crotch and thighs had dried by now, and she could feel
the remains with every small movement,

MAGLOR: Oh, that's why she's not trying to escape; I understand now.

She didn’t even hear him approach; suddenly she was seized by the hair

BORIS: Oh, he's going to use her hair.
CHESTERFIELD: Hair jobs; I wonder if Daguy actually uses this technique in sex?


and hoisted to her feet, and flung brutally at a tree stump,

TUMNUS: BONK!
MAGLOR: And immediately knocked unconscious.


which she was swiftly bent over. She heard him spit,

BORIS: "Bah...what the 'ell was I thinkin'; I don't wanna 'ave sex with
no elf...yuck!"


and then she felt sticky slimy fingers digging deep into her pussy.

MAGLOR (indignantly): There ARE other names for it, you know!
CHESTERFIELD: Yeah, well, you do realize that lemon writers NEVER use
the word "vagina".


He kicked her legs so that she had to spread them to avoid falling,

*Pause, then laughter*

something thick, blunt and hot was placed at her entrance.

TUMNUS: An electric torch?
*everyone stares at him incredulously*


Pussy it was then she though, despite her fears she simply felt numb.

BORIS: Anybody want to try to riff that? No? Okay...

She had suffered so much, that her mind wasn’t allowing her to feel, protecting
itself from going insane.

CHESTERFIELD: Um...sure.
TUMNUS: It's a bit late for that, isn't it?


He thrust into her, but the only sound she made was a whimper,

MAGLOR (disgustedly): Yes, indeed. She never bothered to escape, cried
throughout her entire ordeal, never even tried to fight back...but she must be brave,
because she isn't screaming while being raped!
BORIS: Ugh.


before going silent again, and that was only because he was wider than his men.

CHESTERFIELD (Dark Helmet): "Oh, your helmet is SO BIG!"

He fucked her slowly and deliberately, seemingly not bothered about coming, as
was his goal,

TUMNUS: Wait...if it was his goal, why was he not bothered about it? Oh,
forget it.


after a while, she began to come back to herself.

BORIS (as Arwen): Damn; meditation doesn't work! Well, I'll try yoga, though
that'll be a bit difficult, considering the position I'm in...


She could only hide in her own mind for so long, and he was making her feel it.

MAGLOR (frustrated): She is being raped again! How could she possibly not
feel it?!


Every ridge, every bump, every slimy inch of his hardness

CHESTERFIELD: Slime, slime, slime, slime...DAGUY, DO YOU HAVE A FUCKIN'
SLIME FETISH OR SOMETHING?!


endlessly plowing her no longer innocent pussy.

TUMNUS: Argh...and he can't even write proper adjectives!

She could feel his hips slapping her ass with every thrust;

ALL: BAD Arwen...BAD Arwen!

feel his nails digging into her hips as he drew her back hard to meet his every
slam.

MAGLOR (as Arwen): Look here; do you REALLY have to grip me so tightly? In
this position, it's not likely I'd run away...


He was making her feel it, no, no, she didn’t want to.

BORIS: Now she's trying to keep from enjoying this? That's sure as hell what
it sounds like.


She couldn’t feel his sweat dripping and mingling with her own between her ass
cheeks.

CHESTERFIELD: Oh, Saruman, if suddenly he starts describing how she needs to
shit...
MAGLOR: Don't even think it.


She couldn’t feel his fetid breath on the back of her neck.

TUMNUS (deadpan): She was in serious denial.

No. No!

ALL: Yes. YES!

Tears again began streaming down her face,

CHESTERFIELD: Well, thanks for telling us for the, oh, ELEVENTH TIME.

and she started whimpering pitifully with his every thrust.

MAGLOR (whimpering pitifully): Please let this fanfic end...please...

“No! Please!” She never believed she would ever beg an Orc for anything,
“Please! End me!”

BORIS: You know, there could be two meanings to that.

This only turned him on it seemed,

CHESTERFIELD: Say what?

for suddenly he tensed up, and she felt the all too familiar throb of his cock
inside her;

TUMNUS: Oh, now it's not even disgusting anymore; it's just become boring.

and the feeling of his semen shooting into her womb.

BORIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah; she feels violated, she wants to die, yadda-yadda,
just get on with it, will ya?


She went limp against the tree stump,

MAGLOR: Oh, she's dead!

and despite the intense feeling violation inside her, she also felt immensely
relieved.

CHESTERFIELD: Whoa; does that mean what I think it means?
TUMNUS: Considering her little oral-sex performance, it probably does.
CHESTERFIELD (confused): So is this rape or isn't it?


It was over. They had all used her, there where none left.

MAGLOR: THANK ERU.
BORIS: Yeah, so we can leave now...why isn't the theater door opening?


She yelped loudly as he slapped her ass,

CHESTERFIELD (groan): Oh, hold on...we have to wait for the spanking.

and made no move towards pulling out of her;

TUMNUS: W-what?

leaving her to feel the slimy intruder hardening again

MAGLOR (in horror): Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no...
BORIS: Oh, yes...


inside her defiled sacred place.

TUMNUS (sigh): I wish Daguy would stop using that euphemism; he makes her
vagina sound like a temple.


Finally after a minute of savoring her soft liquid warmth he pulled out,
allowing his seed to leak out a little.

CHESTERFIELD: Look, Daguy, isn't it a bit TOO obvious you're getting off on
this?


Then he moved the head of his dick up a couple of inches

MAGLOR: His DICK?! What are you, Daguy, twelve?!

and started pushing his come and spit covered dick against Arwen’s tightly
puckered asshole;

BORIS: The correct term for it would be ANUS, you idiot.

her anal muscles unable to resist the forceful and slick cock,

CHESTERFIELD (as Arwen): Oh, shit, I knew I should have taken that
anal-muscles-workout class...


and within a second the sensitive head was buried in her incredibly tight, hot
ass.

MAGLOR (sickened): Oh, Iluvatar...let me know when it's over.
TUMNUS: You know, Daguy, it's not easy to take the rape seriously when you
describe things from the rapist's point of view.


Arwen went wild, scratching at the stump she lay upon and screaming bloody
murder

BORIS: She'd never in her life felt pleasure like this...to hell with
pretending she hated it; she'd relax and enjoy it!


as her eyes widened so far she thought they would pop out.

*all are laughing at the picture of Arwen with buggy eyes*

It felt like someone was inserting a burning bottle up her ass,

CHESTERFIELD: Poor comparison aside, how is she supposed to know what that
feels like?
OTHERS: Hmmm...


the pain was unbearable

MAGLOR: Well, I deduced that from the "burning bottle"
description, but thank you for clearing things up, Daguy.


and she rapidly clenched and unclenched her toes and feet,

TUMNUS (as Arwen): Well, time to stretch my toes for ballet class
tomorrow...


moving any part of her body she could, writhing in hopes that it would somehow
relieve the pain.

*Silence*

Eyes almost rolling in pleasure,

BORIS: Boy, I never knew sex did such weird things to your eyes.

the Orc kept pushing, and pushing, despite Arwen’s terrible screams of agony.

CHESTERFIELD: OH, my Saruman; OW!
TUMNUS: Wouldn't that damage your rectum completely?


Before long, every inch of him was buried in her ass,

MAGLOR: EVERY inch?!
BORIS: Um...no. Just no.


and it felt like heaven to him,

CHESTERFIELD: If that's your heaven, you need serious psychiatric help.

partially because she was so tight and hot inside,

MAGLOR: Oh, leave the description of how it felt out of this! Please?

but mostly because it was hell for her.

TUMNUS: Do any of you know what hell is?
BORIS: No. Is it supposed to be bad?


The pain had lessoned to a deep dull ache inside her that felt as though she
was mortally wounded,

MAGLOR: If you were mortally wounded, I would think the pain would be worse
than a DULL ACHE.
CHESTERFIELD: Well, considering that she won't be able to shit very comfortably
after this...


she stood tense as a spring as she took deep gasping breaths, trying to make
the pain fade.

TUMNUS (as Arwen): Oh...yoga...must remember yoga training...arrrrghhhhh...

Without even giving her time to get used to the invasion,

BORIS: We're supposed to EXPECT him to?

he began thrusting brutally in and out of her;

*everyone clutches his ass and screams*

looking down, he noticed a bit of blood on his cock, and chuckled.

CHESTERFIELD: "I say, this reminds me of an 'ILARIOUS episode of
'Family Matters' I saw last night..."


They always bled a bit, he was glad this little bitch was no different.

TUMNUS: First it was "High-and-Mighty-Elf-Girly," and now it's
"Bitch"? My, these orcs have grown up quite a bit!


And it always livened them up again. With every thrust Arwen let out a cry of
pain,

MAGLOR (sarcastically): Oh, really? I thought she was used to this by now.

her entire world becoming the feel of the thick shaft ripping into her poorly
lubricated orifice.

TUMNUS (horrified): RIPPING?! ACTUALLY RIPPING?!
CHESTERFIELD: Okay, I can't hold it in any longer...
MAGLOR: Neither can I...
*everyone vomits*


Suddenly he grabbed her by her pointed ears,

BORIS: Wow; I completely forgot she was an elf...she's behaving like a...I
don't know what.


and yanked her head back, drawing a cry of surprise.

MAGLOR (hopefully): Did he pull her head off?

Her eyes filled with fear as she saw, but had no time to react to,

TUMNUS: Aragorn standing there...with a look of sheer horror and disgust on
his face.


the cock heading right for her mouth.

CHESTERFIELD: AGAIN?!
BORIS: Oh, Sauron... (slams his head on the back of his seat)


Her nose was filled with the scent of sweaty, stinking, crotch as her mouth was
filled with the taste of salty prick.

TUMNUS (announcer): Sweaty-Stinking-Crotch-Scented Salty Pricks! Great taste
leaves your breath fresh and minty! On sale now!


The head of his cock had entered hard, pushing her lips against her teeth;

MAGLOR: Oh, lovely; so her lips are mangled along with her vagina and anus.

but he didn’t stop, he thrust his entire length into her, so deep she gagged;

CHESTERFIELD (yawn): You were right, Tumnus...now I'm bored.

the Orc grunted in pleasure as her throat repeatedly contracted around his
sensitive end.

BORIS (announcer): What you are reading should have been edited out in the
final edition...my apologies.


She couldn’t breath at first, panic blinding her,

TUMNUS: Whoa; now she's blind, to add insult to injury!
CHESTERFIELD: Woo-hoo! Bring on the endless wangst!


but as he began thrusting brutally in and out she began instinctively using her
nose.

*Laughter*
MAGLOR: Her NOSE?
BORIS: This gives the phrase "nose job" a whole new meaning!


She gagged and sobbed around his cock, grunting with each thrust into her soft
ass.

TUMNUS (retch): I DID NOT need to know about its softness.

The two Orcs each thrust at the same time, both delving deeply into her, making
her cry out;

*Chesterfield whistles a tune loudly. Boris checks an imaginary watch.
Maglor makes snoring noises*


her arms aching as she used them to support her swaying body.

BORIS: Well, why does she want to be standing upright? Why doesn't she just
let herself collapse and see if the orcs give up?


They both pounded at her, neither seeming like they would ever cum;

TUMNUS: This story seeming like it would never end...

Arwen had no idea how she was not dying, her ass throbbed brutally deep inside,
and she was light headed from lack of air.

MAGLOR: Yet, still, for some reason, she must have found something pleasant
about it, as she STILL hadn't decided to fade away!


Every time she thought there was nothing more they could do to her, they
invented new ways of causing her torment.

CHESTERFIELD: What...how could they invent new tortures while they were
raping her?! That's not possible!


The Orc in her mouth didn’t last long;

*Chesterfield flips off the screen, only to be smacked by Tumnus*

within a few minutes he froze half way into her mouth with his cock throbbing;

BORIS: Hey, Tumnus, the freak snowstorm is back!

Arwen writhed and cried, but was unable to escape the horrid liquid that filled
her mouth.

TUMNUS: Cough syrup?
*everyone stares at him again*


She refused to swallow, but it seemed the cock would not be removed until she
did,

MAGLOR: So bite it, Arwen! Great Iluvatar!

and he grasped her nose so she couldn’t breath.

CHESTERFIELD (as Arwen): You know, if you do that, I won't be able to give
you any more nose jobs... (giggle)


Finally, need for air won out, with a sob she swallowed, and the cock was
removed.

BORIS: That would be a moronic way to die...choking on somebody's penis.
TUMNUS: Who would have thought of it?


The feel and taste of it running down her throat, coming to rest in her
stomach,

*everyone throws up again*

the taste of it still in her mouth made her gag again.

TUMNUS: I will say this for Arwen...she has a VERY strong stomach.
MAGLOR: Indeed; she hasn't vomited once yet.


Their captain still seemed far from coming,

CHESTERFIELD: Ugh.
BORIS: Daguy must be prolonging this on purpose, to torture his readers.


and she prayed he would pull out of her when he did;

MAGLOR: Oh, she's PRAYING now...forget it. I imagine that Iluvatar has
washed his hands of her by now.


her ass was now the only place without their vile seed.

TUMNUS: Oh, come on...you'd think she'd stop being so fussy by now!

With a grunt, she was lifted, still impaled upon his organ,

*everyone imitates organ music*

and he lay upon his back with her above him.

BORIS: Whoa! She's floating!

For a moment, she wondered why he had swapped to this position,

CHESTERFIELD (rolling his eyes): Has it ever occurred to you that maybe he
LIKES IT BETTER? Stop thinking before you hurt yourself even more, Arwen.


the feeling of his body pressed the length of hers and his breath on her neck
making her shudder.

TUMNUS (helplessly): I shan't even TRY to understand that muddle of a
sentence.


Then she knew; one of the other Orcs came over, hard cock in had, and thrust
into her abused pussy without a pause.

MAGLOR (scowl): Somehow I'm not surprised anymore.
BORIS: I think Daguy's planning for Arwen to be fucked to death here.


She cried out in pain as he did,

CHESTERFIELD: Wait, wasn't she sucking...oh, wait; she's done with the oral
sex. Sorry; I can't keep track of this anymore.


having a cock in both holes making both much tighter, hence the organs feel
much larger and painful to her already sore holes.

*everyone stares at the sentence and twitches violently*
MAGLOR (moan): Holes, holes, holes...my eyes are bleeding.


They thrust at the same time, every time;

BORIS (singing): Oh, it feels like the first time every time...
TUMNUS (shudder): Eerily accurate.


in a rhythm that made her body jerk and her whimper and grunt each time;

CHESTERFIELD: Woo-hoo, rhythm! Do the Pack-Rape Jerk!

more tears coursing down her face.

MAGLOR: This is the TWELFTH time Daguy has told us this...

The Orc captain moved his head forwards, licking the tear from her right cheek
and moving down to suckle her neck;

TUMNUS (brushing away an imaginary tear): Oh, what a sweet and tender orc!
BORIS: He's trying to comfort her! Isn't he a nice rapist?


she shook her head trying to disengage him with no success, shuddering at the
feel of his tongue.

CHESTERFIELD: Right...considering what she's done and what's been done to
her over the past two hours, that makes no sense whatsoever.


There seemed to be no distance between the cocks inside her;

*Silence*
MAGLOR: Oh, dear Iluvatar...
BORIS: Oh, my Sauron; her intestines ARE being damaged!


she felt wholly invaded, she felt beyond wishing to die,

CHESTERFIELD: But she loved it anyway!

just like an empty container filled with sadness, despair, loathing and
worthlessness.

BORIS (annoyed): Oh, use the stupid, "gawthic" phrases in your emo
poetry and spare us from having to read them!
TUMNUS: How can something empty be filled with anything, anyway?


The one in her pussy again came first, not having the Captain’s seemingly
infinite stamina,

CHESTERFIELD: Good thing, or she really WOULD be impaled by now.
MAGLOR (groan): My stomach is extremely tender right now; don't even mention
that possibility.


and with a few jerky movements her womb was filled with seed;

TUMNUS (in disgust): How lovely...again.

but he also pulled out and allowed a few jets of his slime

ALL: ARGH! ENOUGH WITH THE SLIME ALREADY!

to coat her pubic area, rubbing it into her.

BORIS: I thought it was ALREADY in her! What the hell do you mean,
"Rubbing it in"?!


She let out a cry of disgust as he did. Still, her ass was not through being
violated,

CHESTERFIELD (rolling his eyes): 'Cause Daguy knows we're just BEGGING for
this thing not to end too soon...


he still seemed to be endlessly violating her,

MAGLOR (enraged): It's RAPED! WHY are you not using the word
"raped"?! That's what this is; why are you trying to hide it?!


and she wondering if she would suffer the torment for eternity.

TUMNUS (scowl): Forget her; it seems like WE'LL be suffering THIS torment
for eternity. Who wants to bet that Daguy is writing more of this story even as
we speak?


She felt she would go insane with grief.
Finally he began to speed up though, even as she thought this.

CHESTERFIELD: Hey-oh...maybe this WILL end!
TUMNUS: I wouldn't count on it...they'll all rape her again after two
paragraphs, I'll be bound.


“P-please… don’t do it… not inside…” She begged weakly, exhausted from her
suffering;

*Pause, then laughter*
MAGLOR (as Arwen): Oh, please don't come inside me; maybe I can pretend it
never happened if you don't!


she didn’t want her already defiled ass to be dirtied like her pussy and mouth.

BORIS (shaking his head): Geez; she has REALLY weird priorities and moral
standards!


But the Orc chief wanted her to be wholly defiled.

CHESTERFIELD (rolling his eyes): Figures...

He sped up, grunting and the warmth and tightness he was fucking, she was so
soft inside he almost liked it more than the feel of her pussy.

TUMNUS (sneer): At this point, Daguy sprayed semen all over his keyboard,
and so the story had to be abandoned before it was finished...our sincerest
apologies.


Thought it was more about power than pleasure for him.

MAGLOR: I thought it was mostly about pleasure for Daguy.

He froze, his cock spewing a huge load into her unsullied ass.

BORIS: Man, Daguy's got a really sophisticated vocabulary, eh?
TUMNUS: Well, for a fourteen-year-old...


Arwen groaned and cried out in disgust at the same time,

*applause*
CHESTERFIELD: Impressive.


simply seeming to crumple upon herself and sobbing, shaking and shuddering
brutally.

*Shocked silence*
BORIS: When I said "fucked to death," I was joking! I didn't think
Daguy would actually DO it!
MAGLOR: Dear Eru...


Still, while she would be forever marked inside,

TUMNUS: Argh! She's PREGNANT?!
*everyone vomits*


he wanted to leave an outward mark, as his men had tired.

CHESTERFIELD: What the...if she's not dead, she's going to be limping for
the rest of her life! How much more of an outward mark does she NEED?


Pulling out, he threw her on her front;

MAGLOR: No! He's going to rape her in the anus AGAIN!
OTHERS: ARRRGGHHHHH!


Arwen grunting as the air was knocked out of her before going back to her
crying.

TUMNUS: "Oof...that hurts...oh, well...time to cry again...WAH!"

He lowered himself, and he bit down, hard. His fangs sunk deeply into her ass
cheek;

*Pause*
BORIS: This is different.


so deeply they would leave an obvious teeth-mark scar with Orc fang markings.

CHESTERFIELD (grabbing an imaginary phone): Hello, Department of
Redundancies Department?


Arwen did little more than whimper, her sufferings up till this point making a
bite hardly feel like anything.

TUMNUS: Yes...get on with it! We have a rather good idea of how much she was
suffering!


Then the Orc Captain was dead.

ALL: Gah!
MAGLOR: That was sudden!
BORIS: Maybe he fucked himself to death!


An arrow buried in his skull, he toppled to the floor

CHESTERFIELD: But...they were outside!

next to the traumatized Elf girl.

MAGLOR: ARGH! STOP SAYING THAT! IT IS OFFENSIVE TO MY PEOPLE!

She didn’t even notice, too deep in her own suffering mind.

TUMNUS (as Arwen): Oh, I don't know...I guess orc-sex wasn't all it was
cracked up to be...
BORIS (as Arwen, stupidly): And I was just giving orcs oral sex to practice! I
didn't know it would encourage them to rape me!


The other Orcs simply stared for a moment;

CHESTERFIELD: "Duh-huh...what?"

all Glorfindel the Balrog Slayer needed to move in on them,

BORIS: Hey, that should be a TV show! "Glorfindel the Balrog
Slayer"...you know, like "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"?
MAGLOR: No, it should NOT be. Glorfindel was not the only elf to kill Balrogs,
you know.


Elf sword gleaming as he beheaded one, before stabbing another through the
stomach.

TUMNUS: Hooray! A strong, powerful, MALE elf comes to save the day!
CHESTERFIELD: Just as well Jules isn't here...she'd go on a feminist rampage.


He kicked the next in the face; cleaving the other in two.

MAGLOR: Since when is Glorfindel skilled in martial arts?

The last was the one who had stolen Arwen’s virginity and took her mouth for
the second time; though Arwen was still too deep in her own world to even know help had arrived.

TUMNUS: Oh, THIS is why Arwen was so stupid! She was off in another world
all the time!
CHESTERFIELD: Oh, that's politically correct...have Arwen raped just because
she's mentally retarded...


Glorfindel approached it slowly; scowling at it with hatred he hadn’t even felt
for Morgoth.

MAGLOR (frustrated): Come ON! Evil Vala who was murdering and torturing even the bravest and most intelligent of his people, as opposed to stupid beasts who were raping one single, idiotic elf...is there even any comparison?!

It cowered away from him, then screamed so loudly it somewhat brought Arwen’s
attention to the moment,

BORIS (as Arwen): Ohhh...ouch...wait a minute; I'm not being raped! How
strange!


as with a flick of his blade Glorfindel sent the Orcs organ flying into the
bushes.

CHESTERFIELD: You know, that would be a lot funnier if Arwen did it herself.
TUMNUS: There would be more poetic justice in it, at least.


The Orcs scream was cut short as it received a sword stabbed downwards through
its skull and out its chin.

*applause*
MAGLOR: Whew...it sounds like we're free at last!
BORIS: Not yet...the story's not over yet...


Glorfindel approached the Evenstar of his people slowly,

CHESTERFIELD (as Glorfindel, stupidly): Sorry...am I too late?

a sorrow he couldn’t express filling his heart at her sorry state. She just looked up at him blankly, still deep in her own thoughts.

BORIS (as Arwen, thinking): Oh, it's him...great...and I was just going to
give the orcs more oral sex and nose jobs, too! Glorfindel always has to ruin
my fun!


Without a word he walked to his horse, and wrapped her is a sheet from his
pack,

MAGLOR: So...Glorfindel carries around sheets in his pack all the time?

lifting her onto his horse and climbing on in front.

TUMNUS: OW!
CHESTERFIELD: Wouldn't sitting on the horse be painful for her at this point?


Somewhere deep in her mind she knew Orc semen must have been dripping out of
her onto the horse,

BORIS (in shock): You're KIDDING...THAT much semen?!
*everyone throws up*


and another humiliation was added onto the rest.

MAGLOR (as Arwen): Oh, I'm so embarrassed...I didn't get a chance to wash my
hair before being rescued!


Silent tears were falling all the time; and not just on her own face.

CHESTERFIELD (deadpan): They were also, inexplicably, falling out of her
vagina and her anus.


As they rode she didn’t say a word, nor did he, for what could be said after
such an ordeal.

TUMNUS: Oh, maybe..."Why in Eru's name didn't you RUN when you had the
chance?! Where were your brains?!"


Comforts where meaningless and unfitting,

BORIS: So was spelling!

and such a defilement could never be wholly cured.

*Silence*
MAGLOR: THANK YOU, Captain-Bloody-Obvious.


The fact that the foul creatures where dead was little consolation.

CHESTERFIELD (as Daguy, stupid voice): Rape and stuff is still bad, even
though I really got off on this...duh-huh-huh...


The moment she had been found to be missing, Elrond had sent out his most
trusted men to find her;

BORIS (guffaw): Yeah, some trusted men! They only caught up with her after
she was raped, not one, not two, but SIX TIMES.


and she had been found by one of his greatest, but too late.

MAGLOR: So everyone, what did we learn from this?
TUMNUS: That Arwen is not only incredibly stupid, but an unstable, masochistic
whore who, despite her physical pain, secretly enjoyed the rape...after all,
she never tried to escape, never tried to fight the orcs off, never even faded
to Mandos when she supposedly felt too humiliated to live...and, most
importantly, WILLINGLY GAVE AN ORC ORAL SEX AND DID IT WELL!
BORIS: Women, if they don't go out of their houses escorted and wearing burqas
for good measure, are automatically going to be raped.
CHESTERFIELD: Women are stupid and helpless and need strong men to rescue them,
especially Buffy... (sneer)...oh, sorry..."Glorfindel the Balrog Slayer".
MAGLOR: That's not all! What about the fact that rape is bad?
TUMNUS: Oh, don't be ridiculous; Daguy doesn't believe that. If he did, he
wouldn't need to talk about "defilement" and "violation" so
much to save face.


Glorfindel could be sure she would never leave Rivendell again without an
escort,

CHESTERFIELD: Oh, you're JOKING...now Daguy's trying to turn this into a
FABLE with a MORAL?!
MAGLOR: It seems that he despises women, does it not?


but the damage had been done and it was too little too late to protect her.

BORIS: She would walk with a limp for the rest of her life, and her bowels
would never be the same again.


Her father and mother would be devastated, and her brothers;

CHESTERFIELD (sneer): Celebrian would be SO devastated that she would
eventually let the same thing happen to her.
MAGLOR (snort): I shall NEVER read "Celebrian" after this.


he imagined with their tempers many Orcs would suffer.

TUMNUS: While Arwen would be kept awake every night by nightmares and anal
pains. How considerate of them.


He had even taken pleasure in killing her tormentors himself; and he couldn’t
even bring himself to be disgusted at himself.

MAGLOR: What...when have elves EVER been disgusted at themselves for killing
orcs?! We nearly killed them in our SLEEP in the First Age!


They had deserved it.

*Dead, awkward silence*

As they rode; Arwen's ass was visible from under the cover;

BORIS: Glorfindel, the perverted voyeur, eh?

a scar she would bear for the rest of her life stood out seeping red on her
almost alabaster skin.

CHESTERFIELD: Oh, how gawthic! It cuts my soul deeper than a knife...ha,
bullshit!
TUMNUS: Now her skin is "almost alabaster". What in the name of Aslan
does that mean?

----
MAGLOR: That's what I give this story...no stars!

Hope those of you with similar tastes in Erotica enjoyed it,

BORIS: Oh, this is the end at last? It really is?
CHESTERFIELD: Yeah, I thought that next she was gonna be raped by Glorfindel,
and the horse, and her brothers, and Elrond, and Erestor, and...
TUMNUS (wince): Give it a rest, Chesterfield.


and will write your own and add to the Darker stuff out there.

CHESTERFIELD: After reading THIS? Hell, no!

I already know this will get a lot of flames,

MAGLOR: "But it doesn't matter, because I'm starting a rape fic
revolution!"


so let it be known in advance that your wasting precious minutes of your life
already wasted by being morbidly curious about what I’d written.

TUMNUS: Oh, you think we had a CHOICE about whether to read this or not?!

Go read about Aragorn saving Legolas and then shagging him on a bed of roses,
eh?

BORIS: Hell, NO!
MAGLOR: Quick; the theater door is open. We must leave, before Daguy suddenly
posts more...
CHESTERFIELD: Urgh...don't forget your barf bags...
TUMNUS: THANK ASLAN this is done at last.
*clutching their full barf bags, everyone wobbles out of the theater*



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