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| Harry Potter Grows Up to Be Gandalf? WTF?; Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter Crossover | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 8 2008, 01:24 AM (393 Views) | |
| MackenzieW | Sep 8 2008, 01:24 AM Post #1 |
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Title: Harry Potter Grows Up to Be Gandalf? WTF? Author: MackenzieW Genre: MST/Humor Rating: T Text Based On: "The History of a Famous Friend" by JAR OF DIRT 1066 Characters: Mackenzie and the Gang, Voldemort, Harry Potter, Albus "I'm A Genius" Dumbledore, Elrond, Pippin's 3-years-old self, the others. Oh, and Gandalf for like a paragraph. Summary: When Voldemort realizes it's our favorite dead werewolf's birthday, he celebrates the best way he knows how: Making the birthday boy (and fellow sporkers) MST a Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter crossover. In the story, apparently despite being thousands of years apart, Harry Potter manages to grow up to become Gandalf. I shit you not. Warnings: Ridiculous premise. Massacre of Pippin's character. Harry Potter with no glasses. HARRY POTTER WITH NO GLASSES! Harry Potter Grows Up to Be Gandalf? WTF? The alarm went off next to Mackenzie’s bed. She hit it, rolling back over. It went off again. She hit it, blindly. Again. “Will you stop that ringing?” she yelled at the alarm, shaking the box. It ringed, lower, than shut off completely. Mackenzie sighed. Now her alarm was pissed off at her. Great. She slipped out of bed and hurried into the bathroom. Once she was done, she came back out. Her roommates in the Remote Room of Doom were up as well. Sai and Quatre were watching TV, Erik was still missing and Remus was staring longingly at a calendar. Mackenzie dumped her pajamas on her bed, picked up Lambie from where she had thrown him and placed him back on the bed after a squeeze. She walked over to the despondent man. “What’s the matter?” “It’s March tenth.” “Oh,” Mackenzie said. “Happy birthday.” “I’m dead.” “Still counts.” “True.” He sighed. “I wish Dora was here.” “Maybe we can convince Voldemort…” “No.” Everyone jumped. Voldemort was standing in the doorway. “I have a birthday present for Remus. A Lord of the Rings crossover with Harry Potter. Enjoy!” He walked out. “Great. What’s he going to do for my birthday?” Mackenzie wondered. Her musings were cut off by the green light and shrill sound of the siren. “We’ve got badfic sign!” They raced through the dusty hallway to the theater. Erik met them. “Let’s do this!” he said, glad it was a story that wasn’t from the Phantom of the Opera section. Mac: The History of a Friend by JAR OF DIRT 1066. This doesn’t look…I dunno… Remus: Good? Mac: Yeah. That. Well, let’s start with some pretentious words from our author! *All clap* Right. Sai: Left. I know Gandalf didn’t have a childhood because he’s an Istari...blah blah blah. Erik: This is only furthering my feeling of dread. Before loads of lord of the rings obsessed geeks come at me with all these facts, don’t bother. I just thought it would be interesting and rather amusing if this WAS possible. Quatre: Translation? Mac: This MY story, canon be DAMNED! This is a cross with Harry Potter. Gandalf IS Harry Potter. *Silence* Remus (shocked): What? Basically after the second war of the ring is over All: Comma. Mac: Well, that just lowered the expectations for punctuation in this story. Gandalf thinks he needs a holiday so he goes back to his home in Hogsmeade, Mac: I don’t think Harry ever made his home in Hogsmeade… but because of reasons unknown Sai: Translation: Author is too lazy to come up with a plausible reason. he has to leave some of his sprit in middle earth so when his holiday is over he can return. All: Huh? Therefore he leaves a child version of himself in Rivendell (Harry Potter) and the people of middle earth begin to learn about Gandalf’s childhood and wizard culture. Erik: Translation: I’m about to show you I’ve seen the Harry Potter movies and I’m going to BASTARDIZE it in the process. Remus (still shocked): What? Something all the peoples have been interested in but never had to guts to ask the wizard about it. I didn’t put this in the actual story because I wasn’t quite sure how to write it so Erik: I’m a bad writer. people would understand. Erik: I stand by my original statement. This is my first fan fiction you see and I don’t want to confuse anyone. So...Erik: I need to learn to write better. Gandalf or harry as he is called Remus: Well, James and Lily preferred to capitalize the first letter in their son’s name… in this is about 14. He’s just finished the tri-wizard tournament and he’s taken by older Gandalf in the summer before his 5th year at Hogwarts. So enjoy...well try to. Don’t be mean...remember it’s my first go...don’t want me to be put off writing for life lol. Erik: Yes, we do. Lol. Mac: That was mean and yet, deserving. Chapter One – The council regroups The wizard smiled at the elves and hobbit before him. Pippin leapt at the old man for one last hug before he boarded the boat. “There there Pippin, I will be back before you know it.” Mac: Famous last words. The little one grinned broadly in return. Sai: They aren’t five years old, Suethors, get that through your head! And they just survived a war! “Look after me wont you Elrond?” Remus: Wait…is Gandalf asking this or Pippin? Mac: At this point, I don’t know. The elder elf smiled gently and waved a fond farewell before his dear friend was so far into the distance, even his elvish eyes could not make him out. Quatre: He’s gone… All: PARTY TIME! It had not been long after Gandalf had left, hardly even 20 hours before the council of Elrond had once again come together. Mac: Why? The entire council wasn’t the Fellowship. They were only six members and three eavesdroppers. Elrond stood. “I understand you are all interested to see Gandalf as a child as I myself am, Remus (Elrond): And I’m certain you all want a better reason why he’s coming. but you must understand that this child will know nothing of the wars, or perhaps even middle earth. All I am informed of, Mac: Look a comma. Misused. is that he is aware that he is coming to a city of elves named Rivendell. Remus: And Harry doesn’t find that, I dunno, odd? Also he said that it was hard to know where exactly he would arrive. As soon as he left, his other self would have simply metalized All: What? Mac: Were you aiming for “materialized”? Erik: Either way, FAIL! into the area. He has to find Rivendell first, the boy could be anywhere.” Sai: How about safe in his bed, thinking everyone in this fic is insane? Remus: Sounds reasonable to me. The others nodded in understanding. “Then should we not try to find him, if he does not know middle earth then surely he would not know the direction of Rivendell.” All: Huh? Mac: No logic. No logic. “I agree with King Aragon, Mac: If he’s king, then he prefers to be called Elessar. Remember—He Of the Many Names? if the boy could be anywhere then perhaps he is far from Rivendell and without direction.” Remus: So, we’ll just leave Harry out there to fend for himself. Sound good? The discussion had suddenly grown loud and Elrond raised his hand as a notion to quiet the leaders. “No, you misunderstand me. He will certainly come to an elvish land. Mac: Which could be Rivendell, Lothlorien or Mirkwood. He will be using some sort of Wizarding transportation.” Realisation dawned on the council and many nodded knowledgably. Quatre (Council): Makes perfect sense…because this is common place. “Do you know when this child prodigy Remus: Child…prodigy? Harry? All: *Laugh hysterically* will bless us with his appearance?” Gloin asked curiously. Mac: It’s Gimli’s dad. Others: Hi, Gimli’s dad! “I’m sorry to say, I do not.” There was silence for a moment. The wind pushed a small cluster of leaves across the ground the council surrounded and at last someone spoke. Remus: He couldn’t take the awkward silence any more. “So it could be ages?” Pippin asked gazing hopefully at Gandalf’s place at the council as if he would suddenly appear from thin air. Sai: Good Jonas, he’s acting like a toddler whose mother has left him with the babysitter. Pippin, Merry and Sam All: Comma. although not part of the council of Elrond, Mac: Duh, they were the three eavesdroppers I mentioned earlier. had somehow managed to squeeze themselves in. Quatre: Um, they’re war heroes? Sam helped Frodo destroy the ring, Pippin is a Guard of the Citadel in Gondor and Merry is a Squire of Rohan. Seems they would be welcomed into a council. How the elf lord did not know, but their nosy attitude caused some amusement to the other members of course. Mac: Jackson depiction ahoy! “Depends how hobbits define ‘ages’, Quatre (Hobbits): Ha ha, very funny. Not. but since I doubt it will happen any time immediately, I suggest we go our separate ways until we hear otherwise.” There were murmurs of agreement as slowly the leaders departed and went their separate ways to explore Rivendell whilst they lingered. Erik (Elrond): Don’t linger! Get off my lawn! “Red hair, really tall and clever.” Merry shook his head. Remus: Bill Weasley? “No, I think brown, maybe long black hair like Aragon’s.” Mac: Nope. Sirius. Sam concurred. “But defiantly clever, Gandalf’s always been clever.” Sai: Let’s think—who is the clever one in Harry Potter? Quatre: Ooh! Hermione! Remus: Maybe she’s trying to be ironic. Mac: Maybe you’re giving her too much credit. Legolas and Gimli had heard the conversation the hobbits where having only mere meters from where they too where sat and smiled at each other knowingly. Erik (Others): Crazy old Hobbits, always good for a laugh. “So what do you think?” Gimli asked him. Mac (Gimli): Crazy old Hobbits, hmm? (singing) Legolas, I’m afraid I’ve been thinking… Legolas frowned thoughtfully. Remus (Legolas, singing): A dangerous pastime… Mac (Gimly, singing): I know… “I honestly have no idea. It is strange we have known him for this long and yet, I know nothing of Gandalf as a child, or even as a younger man.” Mac: That’s because I don’t think he had a childhood. Gimli sat beside the elf on the ground watching the small stream forcing its way between the trees of Rivendell. Quatre (stream): Out of my way! Coming through! Move it or lose it! “True, I recall the wizard as an old man even when I was only a child as does my father! I have before wondered how old our Istari friend is.” Mac (Toddler): He’s only three and a half years old. There was silence for a second. Remus: They timed it. “My father too spoke of Gandalf when he was a young elf, then too he was said to have been an elderly man. The wizard must be at least 4000 years, nay, much longer than that even.” Gimli’s eyes widened and Legolas smiled at the awe on his friends face. “What of this Hogsmeade? I have never heard of such a place, nor even the country, Scotland, even in books of history and documents dating back to Durin.” Mac: That’s because it’s a country that doesn’t exist yet, though possibly where the Shire is located. “Perhaps it is not in middle earth, did Gandalf not say Hogsmeade was a wizard’s village?” It was at that point an elven messenger came running with speed towards the pair, beaming triumphantly as he spotted them. Sai (Messenger): I found Waldo! I win! “My Lords, Elrond requests all members of the council to order. It seems our young wizard has been found at last.” Remus: Thank Jonas someone decided to give Harry that map! The two stood quickly and ignoring all etiquette and calm, ran all the way back to the council, large smiles shone clearly on their faces. Mac: Yeah…I’m not even touching that one. On to the next chapter! By the way, in this Harry doesnt wear glasses... *All sit in shocked silence.* i just hate the idea of a good looking young hero with glasses. Mac: Well I hate the idea of an author who fancies herself good. Erik: I’m training you well, grasshopper. Plus Gandalf doesnt wear glasses lol. Erik: Stop laughing! Chapter two – The New Arrival Rubbing the bruise rapidly forming on his cheek Harry groaned. This was, perhaps the weirdest day of his life. Ok, perhaps not the weirdest. The day he discovered he was in fact a famous wizard, destined to kill one of the most evil dark lords in Wizarding history was a pretty big smack in the face. Mac: Freeze! Those were two separate days and Harry finds out about the prophecy at the end of his fifth year. He’s just finished his fourth. Remus: Fail. But still, this was strange. Sai: And further still, you would expect Harry to be used to it. It all started last night. He had been sat Mac: Someone had physically sat Harry down? swinging to himself in the park by private drive. Sai: Look, the Dursleys moved from Privet Drive to Private Drive! Erik: Further proof the Suethor has only seen the movies. Professor Dumbledore seemed to come out of nowhere and suddenly sat beside him. Sai: Yeah, that is a little weird. At first Harry was cautious as to whether this was the real Albus or not. Quatre: I’m curious as to whether this is the real Harry or not. Remus: It’s not. This is the non-glasses wearing, good-looking young hero Harry. Quatre: So this Harry would call Dumbledore “Albus”? After the fiasco with Mad-Eye Moody and the tri-wizard tournament he was a bit on edge but his suspicions disappeared when the old man had offered him a lemon drop. Then Dumbledore asked Harry whether he would like to go to some city called Rivendell for the holidays, instead of spending the whole 6 weeks at the Dursleys. Remus: Because with Voldemort rising again and the Ministry doing its best to make sure the rest of the wizarding population thought Dumbledore and Harry were crazy, Albus is just going to let Harry out of his sight? Sure. Mac: I think I can quote the Slightly Skewed Recaps here with: Good job, idiot! Of course he leapt at the idea, no Dursleys, no Voldemort, no death eaters. Mac: You can get that at the Burrow! Remus: It’s safer there too! Death eaters would be insane rather than try to deal with George and Fred’s pranks! Just 6 weeks of rest before back on the train to Hogwarts. Mac: Meaning it’s the second week of July. So you’ll also be spending your fifteenth birthday in Rivendell too! Sai: How often do the movies include the actual date of Harry’s birth? Mac: Uh…well, he’s not going to consider that then! Dumbledore had helped him gather his trunk, his broom and his books together before they both took the Knight Bus down to the Leaky Cauldron and Albus had said his goodbyes before Harry had flooed to Rivendell. Remus: And breathe! Quatre (Albus): A maniacal Dark Lord is on the war path and I’m letting him go some place I’ve never heard of. Great idea, Albus. Great idea! Mac (McGonagall): Albus, are you feeling all right? He arrived coughing violently. Clearly this was a fireplace not ordinarily used for wizard transportation. Erik: Clue One that something’s not right. Remus: Clue one? All the soot had swept up on this arrival and losing his balance he plummeted to the stone floor. *All point and laugh* Standing quickly and rubbing his eyes, Mac: Which wouldn’t be a problem if JAR OF DIRT 1066 had followed canon and kept his glasses. he peered around the hall he had entered as the soot settled around him. Sai (Bugs Bunny): I knew I should’ve taken that left in Albuquerque! There was no one around. All was quiet. But what a different kind of place this was. Remus: Very monotone. Mac: How about using an exclamation point? Here, take one of Phantom’s ange’s extras! It was very well kept, almost like Hogwarts except the walls were of white marble, the paintings and banners in languages unknown to him and the windows seem to have such elegance about them. Quatre: So, it was nothing like Hogwarts then? What a strange place for house elves he thought. Remus: It was their ideal place to clean. Mac: I always imagined that house elves on their own would have a very messy place as a rebellion against all the cleaning they’ve done. Now what? He wasn’t quite sure what he was supposed to do. All Dumbledore had said was tell the elves you are Gandalf. Mac: Either that needs quotation marks or replace the words “you are” with “he is.” He didn’t understand this. Sai: Who would? Who or what was a Gandalf? It was then that a tall woman with dark hair and a long flowing dress came walking through the room. Mac: Who wants to take bets on who this is? Remus: No one—it’s Arwen. Harry just doesn’t know that yet. Harry coughed and she stared at him for a moment. “Who may I ask are you, young human?” Harry’s face screamed puzzlement Mac: Purple prose for “confused.” but replied nonetheless. “Umm, excuse me but where might I find an elf?” Quatre (pulling out magnifying glass): Where are the qualifiers? A large gentle smile spread across the woman’s face as she walked towards him. “You are looking at one child.” Harry frowned, she wasn’t a house elf. This made no sense. Mac: Actually, this is the first hint of canon sense in this story. Remus: I’ll say. Oh well...if she claimed to be an elf he would tell her his message. “Ok, umm well, Professor Dumbledore told me to tell you I’m Gandalf. But I don’t know what a Gandalf is...” At the mention of this Gandalf, her eyes widened and a massive grin replaced her friendly smile. Harry was beginning to regret coming to Rivendell. He didn’t understand what was going on and he suddenly felt very worried. Erik: He feared he was going to end up in a Suethor prank— Mac: Paint getting dumped on him. Erik: Precisely. “Oh! Gandalf, I will get my father, stay there.” And with that the woman lifted her dress and ran out of the door on the other side of the room shouting in a very strange soft language. Sai: Yes, I can see the Queen of Gondor and Arnor running like that. Mac: And end sarcasm. So he sat on his truck with his hand under his chin and waited. Elrond was sat rubbing his temple carefully with his fingers. It had been 2 hours since he had dismissed the council and he was still sat in the same spot, thinking, waiting. Erik: Hey, Elrond, GET A LIFE! He sighed, placing his hands together on his lap when his advisor chuckled slightly. “My lord you do not look best pleased.” At this he smiled. Mac (megaphone): You need qualifiers. I have no clue who is speaking at this point. Remus: We need a playbill of who’s who in this production. Erik: “Best…pleased”? The hell? “Ah Erestor, Sai: We haven’t mentioned if we think JAR OF DIRT 1066 has read the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Mac: If she’s including Erestor, she has. Remus: So, she’s read all of Lord of the Rings but apparently can’t be bothered reading the Harry Potter series? *Bangs head on chair* I like to this All: Huh? myself as a patient person but I must say I am rather eager to meet this child Gandalf.” All: Awkward wording! “As are we all my lord,” he answered taking a chair next to him, “surely it will not be long now.” Immediately after Erestor had spoken, Lady Arwen came running down the steps of the last homely house Mac: All capital! Erik: I’m surprised Gertrude hasn’t paid us a visit yet. Mac: She’s on vacation. towards her father. Elrond stood momentarily. “Arwen, daughter what is wrong that you must come running like an elfling who has first discovered a rainbow?” Mac: More purple prose! Sai: Translation: Arwen, what is the urgent news? Mac: Nice. He asked Quatre: Look, the resemblance of a qualifier! Others: Ooh. taking her hand in his as she approached. “Oh father, he’s here, inside. Gandalf is here.” She spoke excitedly. Elrond face lit up. Mac: Missing possessive. Sai: Let’s call him Elrond face the rest of the fic. Quatre: Wait, didn’t a messenger tell them in the last chapter? Erik: Suethors and consistency, Quatre, are? Quatre: Mortal enemies. “Tell the council to gather,” he told his advisor, who hurriedly bowed and left almost at a run. Erik: Raise your hand if you see elves running? *No one does so.* Didn’t think so. Then following his daughter back inside, she guided him to a skinny boy, sat in a slump upon a large trunk by the fireplace. Remus: He’s managed not to get into any trouble yet? Mac: Hey, trouble usually finds him. Remus: True. He lifted his head to them as they entered and stood. Extending his hand the boy looked from Arwen to Elrond, “Umm hi, I’m Harry.” Remus: No. No you’re not. Mac: Calm down, Remus. Erik: It’s not a true bastardization of your fandom. He’s in another! Remus: But Harry is the son of my best friends! He’s my son’s godfather! Erik: Hey…it’s not you. *Dark look passes over Erik’s face* Ummm, remember that Harry doesn’t yet know that Elrond is an elf. Mac: But Harry knows he’s supposed to rendez-vous with some elves. And judging by Arwen’s reaction to his statement, I’m sure Harry can put two and two together. Remus: He may not be a child prodigy or as smart as Hermione, but he is still an intelligent boy. So that’s why I called him a man. Thank you for the reviews so far. I have written this chapter quite quickly in parts this afternoon so if nothing makes sense do tell me and I will change it straight away. Mac: You should check your writing before you post it. Chapter Three - Harry James Potter Remus: Or someone pretending to be him. Elrond appeared to be tall man. Strong, serious features were soft and loving now, and he didn’t seem to care that a strand of jet black hair fell over his face. Elrond practically floated over to Harry and grasped his hand, shaking it warmly. “You are very welcome here young Gandalf.” Realisation dawned on Harry and he smiled in response. So he was their ‘Gandalf.’ Sai: And he’s still not even more confused? “Thank you but you know my name isn’t Gandalf right? It’s Harry.” Elrond frowned but kept his smile firmly upon his face. Mac: Okay, I think someone needs to tell JAR OF DIRT how to properly format paragraphs especially if she continues not to use qualifiers. “Oh it is, is it? I see I’m going to learn many things about you young wizard.” Harry agreed politely, still unsure as to who this man was and what exactly was going on. Remus: Join the club. “Well then, Harry, you are wanted in council, come.” The man began to steer Harry towards the doors and he turned to him shaking his head. “Ohh! No...There’s been a mistake.” But before Harry could reason with this man, the stranger seemed intent on guiding him to a council. What had he done wrong? Quatre: Why would he think he had done something wrong? Mac: Maybe because the last time he went before an official gathering, he was being expelled? Perhaps he had flooed to the wrong place. Maybe he said Rivenbell, or Drivenwell, there were any number of possibility’s Sai: Wrong place to stick the possessive. You want plural. Mac: And Harry has been known to end up some place he wasn’t on the floo system. but he knew that he certainly wasn’t supposed to be part of any council. Before he knew it he had been practically pushed along until he was stood on some steps in a gorgeous light stone courtyard, the trees surrounding it were red and yellow, as if it was autumn. Though he knew for a fact it wasn’t. Quatre: Umm, that’s nice. I think more of Harry’s inner angst would’ve been more appropriate here though. Mac: And boy did Harry have angst in the fifth book. Elrond then left him on the steps before walking just round the corner to silence the council before pulling Harry gently towards Gandalf’s seat. An immediate hush decent as all these strange looking people gawked at him, his stomach sank. Mac: Awkward sentence. Rework! Oh dear. All was still for a minute or two until Harry had the courage to speak up. “Umm, Hi. I’m sorry to say, I’m not here for any council. You must have got me confused with someone else. I’m just here to spend the holidays until I go back to Hogwarts, I mean anywhere’s got to be better than the Dursleys...” he drifted off. Remus: Like the Burrow? There were many ogling faces staring immensely at him. Mac: Staring immensely? Erik: Hello, Suethors, if you think you are being clever and fancy, here’s a thought—you’re not. As his mind raced a thought sprang to mind, what if these were aurors here to protect him? Sai: Do they look like Aurors to you? He knew he didn’t need protecting like a child but there was no need to be rude if they were only here to help. Mac: Harry…is that you? Remus: No. “Oh, don’t tell me, you want to see the scar?” Sai: Sure, why not. It seems everybody wants to. Remus: I’m impressed she left the scar on. Mac: Because a scarred a hero is a hot one. Remus: Right. Forgot that. They didn’t seem to know what scar he meant, which he supposed was a plus, but the smiling faces around him were quite unnerving. Ok, they were beginning to freak him out slightly. Quatre: They’d freak me out too. “No mean to be rude, but who are you and why are you looking at me like that?” Erik: Hey, you’re the one rambling on. We’re just being polite. Elrond spoke first. “My lord’s this, as I image Mac: IMAGINE! you have gathered, is our Gandalf.” Harry was beginning to get frustrated with this name and the whole situation in general. He had got the impression from Dumbledore that this was going to be a peaceful summer. Erik (Dumbledore): Oops. My bad. *To Order* We got rid of the imposter Potter! Mac (Snape): But sir, where is the real Potter? Erik (Dumbledore): We’re still looking. Then again since he started at Hogwarts, when had any moment been peaceful? Quatre: Oh, I know! What is none, Alex? Erik (Alex): That is correct. You have control of the board. “I don’t know where you got the name Gandalf from but I have never been called Gandalf. My name is Harry James Potter Quatre: I’ll take “How Characters Never Introduce Themselves” for a 1000, Alex. and I would like it very much if you called me by my birth name.” There were snorts of amusement and laughter from the men gathered in this circular council. All: Why? Well he assumed they were men, some were tall and pale, others looked very much like Gringotts goblins Mac: Who would look like those? Erik: I’m thinking Gimli. and some like very Mac and Quatre: COMMA! very short men with nothing on their feet. “Well, Harry, welcome to Rivendell.” Harry let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in, this WAS Rivendell. “So I did say the name correctly. For a moment I thought I had come to the wrong place. I mean the floo network is pretty reliable if you can pronounce every destination perfectly, which I haven’t always done before. I winded up in Knockturn Alley once when I was 11.” Mac: Twelve, but whose counting? Quatre: Also, does Harry ramble? Remus: Not usually. There was silence...had he said something wrong? Sai: No, by the way you were rambling the others weren’t sure if you were done or not. Oh my, what if they weren’t aurors, but muggles and had no idea what he was on about? Remus: Hey, Harry, you live with Muggles. Are they dressed like Muggles? Mac: That also reminds me—capitalize Aurors and Muggles. Crap. He was in trouble; the ministry wouldn’t let him off again. Mac: Capitalize Ministry too. Remus: And of course the Ministry won’t let you off—you’re impersonating Harry Potter. But hadn’t the tall man called him young wizard? Perhaps they were just muggles that knew about the wizarding world, like Hermione’s parents or the Dursleys. “Well child, you best be shown to your room. Erestor, if you will.” Mac: Dude, now’s the time you explain to the obviously confused, rambling teenager what exactly is going on to the best of your abilities. A man looking very much like the one talking took him by the shoulder and led him back inside the house. Thank Merlin that was over. Remus: More proof this isn’t Harry. At this point, he would have his wand out and be demanding answers. As soon as the young Gandalf was out of sight the council burst into conversation. Quatre (Harry): Now you decide to talk? “He’s so skinny! The poor boy doesn’t look like he’s eaten for a month!” Mac: That’s because Vernon and Dudley have been hogging all the food. I mean, have you ever seen Aunt Petunia? That woman doesn’t eat either! “I told you, black hair. I knew he would have black hair. Short though isn’t it?” “He has the same deep green eyes. But my, doesn’t he look different!” Remus: Was it addressed if Gandalf has green eyes or if the Suethor is making it up? Mac: You’re going to make me scroll up a page? Remus: Yep. Mac: Fine. *Does so.* No. “Silence! Please!” Elrond’s voice of reason had spoken over the ever growing volume of the council and he smiled broadly at them all. “Well, it’s good news that the boy has arrived here safely. Although it is quite a shock to learn that a wizard, Mac: Lose the comma and insert the word “who.” we have been calling Gandalf for as long as we all can remember, Mac: Lose that comma. is in fact called Harry Potter. Remus: Err, where’s the rest of the sentence? Quatre: It got lost. Strange name though it is, I guess we shouldn’t confuse the child by calling him Gandalf.” All: Ya think? He paused. Erik (Aragorn): Quick! Someone press the “play” button! “ Of course we are all very interested to know all we can about him while he is staying with us, but please don’t mob the poor boy. All: Aww… He appears to be quite perplexed to the real reason he is here and we mustn’t scare him into utter panic.” Erik: But utter panic is fun! I should know. Others: We know. “Rondy?” *Everyone stares at the screen and then bursts into hysterical laughter* All eyes turned to the small hobbit looking up from the ground. Rolling his eyes he sighed, “Yes Pippin?” *All stare. All but Mac put on helmets and run back a few rows. Mac takes a deep breath* Mac: PIPPIN IS NOT A THREE YEARS OLD! AT THIS POINT HE IS MOST LIKELY 30 YEARS OLD, SUETHOR, 30! HE IS NOT GOING TO BE CALLING ELROND “RONDY” NOR ACTING LIKE A TODDLER! “There’s something about little Gandalf I don’t like.” Mac: There’s something about you I don’t like. Eyebrows were raised, “Oh?” “Doesn’t anyone else think little Gandalf looks a bit neglected at all?” There was a moment of contemplation. “Why would you think that Pip?” Merry questioned eyeing the hobbit next to him suspiciously. Remus: Because Harry would look a bit neglected after living with the Dursleys? Mac: But let’s keep in mind this is probably right after the end of the school year and after Harry’s witnessed Cedric Diggory’s death as well as the return of Voldemort. He’s probably also under a lot of stress. “I don’t know. He’s thin; his hairs all scruffy, his clothes are too big for him...” “Well if they are the signs of neglect, someone should have homed poor Aragon years ago!” Gimli chuckled. Erik: Poor Gimli. Only introduced into this chapter for a bad joke. At this Aragorn shook his head and grinned, as Legolas burst into a fit of elvish giggles. Remus: He’s an elf, not a girl. Mac: Despite looking like one. Elrond thought he should put a halt to this childish conversation before it went any further, even though he was laughing along himself. His foster son always had that shabby morning look about him, even after he became a king. Mac: Probably from years of living in the wilderness as a Ranger. “Alright! Alright, that’s enough. I herby dismiss the council until further notice.” The members began to depart breaking back into their own friendship groups Erik: Commonly known as “cliques.” like children on a playground and continuing their discussion on Rivendell’s newest arrival. The council filtered away until only two figures were left behind in the stone courtyard. Frodo watched Pippin unmoving upon the ground; Sai: Oh Jonas, they killed Pippin! there was a frown plastered across his innocent face. Quatre: Who? Frodo or Pippin? “Pip?” Frodo laid his hand upon the younger hobbits shoulder. Pippin looked up to Frodo’s concerned face, “I still think there’s something not quite right here.” Mac: You’ve got that right, Pip! Frodo nodded in agreement. “We’ll see Pip, we’ll see.” Mac: No we won’t! *All leave the room.* Voldemort was waiting for them inside the Remote Room of Doom. “Well, the author has updated,” he said. The others groaned. “But since Remus’ birthday is almost over and you are still in the middle of the Phantom story, I’m going to call this one dead. Well done.” Voldemort left. “Good, he’s gone,” Erik said, hurrying back into the theater. “Where’s he going?” Sai asked as Octavius toddled over. He had been napping next to the fish tank, which had made Sai as well as a few of the fish nervous. However, Mac knew that he would hold to his promise to her. Mac smiled. “Well, I worked it out with Erik to sneak in two special guests for Remus’ birthday,” she explained. As she finished, both Tonks and a giant birthday cake popped out from the hallway. Tonks held little Teddy while, once the cake was safely on a nearby table, Harry stood next to her. “Surprise!” “Happy birthday, dear,” Tonks said, embracing her husband. “Look, he’s absolutely adorable.” “That he is,” Remus said, choked up. “Hi, Harry. Glad to see you. Especially after Voldemort’s birthday present.” “We heard,” Harry said, shivering. “Happy birthday, Remus.” And after the cake was cut, the others took Harry on a tour of Malfoy Mansion. While they tortured the Death Eaters, the Lupin family had a sweet birthday reunion. |
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You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot "Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical) "Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney "I wake in the loneliness of sunrise When the deep purple heaven turns blue And start to pray As I pray each day That I’ll hear some word from you I lie in the loneliness of evening Looking out on a silver-flaked sea And ask the moon Oh how soon, how soon Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella "Thank you, Lord You have brought us Safe to shore Be our strength and protection ever more. A Thiarna dean trocaire A Chriost dean trocaire A Thiarna dean trocaire A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder I'm writing a novel! A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies! My Little Corner I'm on Book Country! | |
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1:15 AM Jul 11