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MST: Shadowed Past [REVIEWS]; Here you can review.
Topic Started: Sep 24 2008, 01:12 PM (976 Views)
Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Hmm, at least the twins are not pranksters this time (a small comfort, though). On top of all that I noticed one major chronological error when I glimpsed the story. Add some cheesy hurt/comfort to that and what do you get? A story begging to be ripped apart. It seems the first part is Shakespeare compared to the sequel.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Siany-T
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King of Nothing
Oh dear. Bodes very badly. Great *end sarcasm*
Merlin: Thank you.
Arthur: For what? For lying to my father to save your worthless hide? If you ever put me in that situation again, Merlin, I will clap you irons myself.
Merlin, Series 2


David: Oh and John. My TARDIS... mine. Say sorry.
John: Sorry.
Tonight's the Night: Doctor Who Special


Team Demyx - 'cause that is how I roll!
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Fishpaste
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Rising Again
Orc lust? Now that is wrong.
Books contain knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Corruption is a crime. Crime never pays. So, if I keep reading, Im gonna go broke!

Proud member of the society for the Protection of Neglected Commas (SPNC)
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Siany-T
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King of Nothing
Just read the next four chapters of the MST, this story is really bad.

Quote:
 
Kraut: The King is dead, long live the King!

Starts singing Vida La Vida

Quote:
 
3) Until then, my lord,

Kraut: Glorious Harrison Ford.


All praise the Ford! I like his rhyme.

Quote:
 
Kraut (as Frodo): Sam, will you marry me?
Pippin (as Sam): Oh, sir, I thought you’d never ask!
Eowyn (hits them.)
Kraut and Pippin: Ouch!
Eowyn: Serves you right.

Eowyn, girl power. Pippin and Kraut, nice joke and perfect for how things sound.

Quote:
 
"That one has yet to awaken, but he will soon, I suppose."

Faramir: Thanks for the information, Captain Obvious.

Well at least it was Legolas like in the films. I just watched that 'a diversion' bit of RotK.

Quote:
 
he placed a callused hand on Kalan's forehead, smoothing back the dark hair

Must everyone do this at least once a chapter?

Quote:
 
I was not tied, but flanked on either side by tall men in dark robes.

Kraut: Jesuits? The Spanish Inquisition?
Pippin: Denethor look-a-likes?


'No-body expects the Spanish Inquisition.' Hehe Denethor, got to love him in a sort of strange way.

Quote:
 
he whispers into my ear, and his lips pressed against my cheek.

Kraut (as Elrond): Kalan… I am your father!
Pippin (as Kalan): Nooooo!
Kraut (Darth Vader-voice): Join me to the dark side!
Faramir: Well, he already is there.

Yay Star Wars referance.

Quote:
 
Only the elves and myself can touch my blood and not be burned.

Kraut: Ah, one mystery solved. The elves have an asbestos skin, then.
Eowyn (snorts): Nonsense

Hehe elves with asbestos skin. Now that would be an original idea. Not a good one but an original.
Merlin: Thank you.
Arthur: For what? For lying to my father to save your worthless hide? If you ever put me in that situation again, Merlin, I will clap you irons myself.
Merlin, Series 2


David: Oh and John. My TARDIS... mine. Say sorry.
John: Sorry.
Tonight's the Night: Doctor Who Special


Team Demyx - 'cause that is how I roll!
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Thanks for reviewing! Yes, it's strange how everyone must paw Kalan constantly. Like he was a cute puppy or baby. Also, Legolas of this story obviously is the movie version (actually I'd have been very much surprised if he was like in the books). As for the Spanish Inquisition, I know that's some joke in Monty Python (never watched it), but the dark robes were the things that inspired the joke.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
I've honestly stopped reading most of the story and just skip to the comments. It's just that bad. Particularly how Frodo is acting like a little child whose dog was hit and is making sure he's fine.

Quote:
 
As for the Spanish Inquisition, I know that's some joke in Monty Python (never watched it),


It's funny, BBC-America has comedy Fridays and they show Monty Python. They showed the Spanish Inquisition episode yesterday. "Put her in...the comfy chair!"
"Oooh..."

Anyway, from the story:

Quote:
 
Faramir: I would think Elrond would take a way more wary attitude towards a strange creature like Kalan, injured or not. For all he knew, Kalan could have been of some new breed of Orcs or a phantom of Sauron.


Yeah, but it seems in any Sue/Stu Elrond's compassion takes over his logic and he takes in any injured person he finds.

Quote:
 
A dark hared elf sat on the bed beside me. He was dressed in a long blue and gold robe. Extravagant sleeves covered his arms. He looked down at me kindly, his keen eyes watching my face. Something familiar about him…

Kraut (as Elrond): Kalan… I am your father!
Pippin (as Kalan): Nooooo!
Kraut (Darth Vader-voice): Join me to the dark side!
Faramir: Well, he already is there.


“Who are you,” I ask in a weak voice. The elf looked surprised.
“I am Elrond, do you not remember me finding you in the woods?” he asked. I suddenly did remember, but he wasn’t wearing anything near as exquisite as he was now.

Eowyn: What is he, two years old? I, for one, remember the faces of people regardless of the clothes they wear at the moment.


I'll say. I would understand if he said he was so weak, he could not recall much about when he was found. But just because someone changed their clothes? Does this person have a problem everyday. "And you are?"
"Suzie. We've been best friends since elementary school."
"Right. You changed your clothes."
"Most normal people do."
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
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Mathonwy
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Waiting For Tomorrow
*peeks out from behind sofa* Is the Origin Story over yet? That was bad. All this, and Moria still to come. Bets on who'll end up fighting the balrog?
"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
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Siany-T
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King of Nothing
*Starts wahcking head of wall* I just read chapter 6, why don' they kill the damn thing, it just threaten one of them? *Carries on wahcking head of wall* I guess I'll read chapter 7 in a minute *Hits ehad a few more times then goes to read afore mentioned chapter*
Merlin: Thank you.
Arthur: For what? For lying to my father to save your worthless hide? If you ever put me in that situation again, Merlin, I will clap you irons myself.
Merlin, Series 2


David: Oh and John. My TARDIS... mine. Say sorry.
John: Sorry.
Tonight's the Night: Doctor Who Special


Team Demyx - 'cause that is how I roll!
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Actually I, too, wanted to bang my head against my keyboard when I read Chapter 6. The author has absolutely no clue how the Fellowship would really have reacted. Maybe part of the problem is that Sylver-Star plagiarizes movie script constantly. If one wants succesfully to write a Tenth Walker, one should rewrite the whole dialogue etc. Now there's a direct transition from the threatening scene to the movie script and simsalabim! The Fellowship seems to ignore Kalan's behaviour. If the story wasn't so old, I would write a very, VERY bad review to it.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Mathonwy
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Waiting For Tomorrow
Oh dear, the plagarism of the movie script there was hilarious! It's like some crazy montage with bits of badfic being cut into Peter Jackson's version. No doubt Gimli will forget the whole business as quickly as the author has.

Quote:
 
The snow and ice hit Kalan’s back and wings, but he did not give. He grunted, bearing the weight, allowing it to fall off his wings.

Faramir: And logic rolled in its grave. According the last chapter, he was barely able to walk, damn it!

So, Kalan managed to stop an avalanche with his wings? Well, it's fortunate that bat wings are the strongest substance in the known universe. I mean, bullets just bounce off them and stuff.

And will people PLEASE stop touching the Stu?
"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Surprisingly, Gimli doesn't forget. Only instead of satisfying revenge he accepts a simple apology. Other than that, he's actually quite bright for a Stu/Sue story.

As for the wings, it was just hilarious. I tried to picture that and somehow thought of those big squad tents we used in the army. Montage is just the word for this "story".
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Siany-T
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King of Nothing
Oh yes, the wings stopping snow. Haha absolutly hilarious image that was.
Merlin: Thank you.
Arthur: For what? For lying to my father to save your worthless hide? If you ever put me in that situation again, Merlin, I will clap you irons myself.
Merlin, Series 2


David: Oh and John. My TARDIS... mine. Say sorry.
John: Sorry.
Tonight's the Night: Doctor Who Special


Team Demyx - 'cause that is how I roll!
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Siany-T
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King of Nothing
*whacks head harder off wall* Stupid. Stu. Oh boo-hoo a 'tragic' sob story. Oh and Elrond got too close to the Stu. That was bad. Stupid Stu. *Hits head once more* Ow, I think I killed too many braincells.
Merlin: Thank you.
Arthur: For what? For lying to my father to save your worthless hide? If you ever put me in that situation again, Merlin, I will clap you irons myself.
Merlin, Series 2


David: Oh and John. My TARDIS... mine. Say sorry.
John: Sorry.
Tonight's the Night: Doctor Who Special


Team Demyx - 'cause that is how I roll!
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Rhysmel
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Waiting For Tomorrow
Quote:
 
Pippin (as Kalan): Except me, of course!
Kraut (as Gandalf): Nobody asked you anything. This is my show, and I won’t lose it for any money!


Damn straight! If Kalan could do everything himself, why waste time forming the friggin' Fellowship? Besides, as a half-drAgon, can't he melt the Ring and end the story before it starts? Or maybe he just has qualities which can be shown to be OH SO KEWL!!!11 LYKE OMG, HEZ SO HAWT!!!!11
Anyone would think that the stronger dragon genes might be dominant and make him more dragon-like than human. Not that there would be a resultant offspring of such a mating, with hybrid breakdown and all. But than, thats logic and biology. Some of the little things Suethors don't give a damn about.

I just thought, why ouldn't they fly to Mordor sitting on Kalan's back? It would just be easier and Kalan is strong enough to beat Sauron.* Yeah. Right. And pigs can fly.*

And will they stop touching him? The slash in this...thing is just to close to the surface.
Quote:
 
Elrond showed me my folly, and urged me to reach out to him and to others. He loved me, was like a father, a brother a friend and…sometimes more…”

Egads, that is so incestuous. Why can't she see that its just wrong?!


Quote:
 
Gimli frowned and rested his hand on the boy’s knee, offering his sympathy, apologies and strength.


Which boy are they talking of? Kalan is more than a thousand years old, has been married, fathered a chld and done a lot more stuff than the average boy does.

Where has all the logic gone?
" Proud member of Society for Protection of Neglected Commas"
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Gone with the wind, I suppose. I was actually eating when I first read that "sometimes more" bit. I almost spat my food on the keyboard when I understood the sentence. It's a curious thing that Sylver-Star was 18 (or so I suppose from her bio page) when she wrote this, and this story is still like it was written by a 14-year-old. At most. But, just wait for the sequel, and you'll see true horror when Orcs get lusty with Kalan. I swear that isn't pretty.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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