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MST: Shadowed Past [REVIEWS]; Here you can review.
Topic Started: Sep 24 2008, 01:12 PM (975 Views)
Rhysmel
Member Avatar
Waiting For Tomorrow
Orcs? Lusty? Kalan? I just choked on my Pepsi. It's 3am around here and now images will keep me awake; and my dog will wake me at 4 . Just what I needed.

Sylver is 18 years old? NO FREAKING WAY! I'm 18 and there's no way I could ever write like that. She's lying. Or she has 5 brain cells.
" Proud member of Society for Protection of Neglected Commas"
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Mathonwy
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Waiting For Tomorrow
Oh, dear Eru ...

Quote:
 
An orc screeched in pain and the elf reloaded.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the world's first pump-action longbow.

Quote:
 
Kalan ran straight into the hobbit, pushing them both out of the way before the club struck them.

Kraut (hums Richard Strauss’s The Heroic Life.)

Hmm. Considering the levels of self-delusion going on here, perhaps Don Quixote would be more appropriate?

Quote:
 
Kalan opened his mouth and strange words, full of power, anger and rage flowed forth. "Kolekione, Somaru nastu vant-asta!"

(Laughter.)
Pippin: And simsalabim and abracadabra!
Kraut: Hocus-pocus!


his silver eyes flashed, "Simata carone-lan!"1 And with that, leapt at the troll,

Faramir: Who was dying of laughter after all that nonsense.

Really, not the only one! :lol:

Quote:
 
Quote:
 
Elrond showed me my folly, and urged me to reach out to him and to others. He loved me, was like a father, a brother a friend and…sometimes more…”

Egads, that is so incestuous. Why can't she see that its just wrong?!

And I'm glad I wasn't the only one who noticed that. *shudder*
"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Sorry to cause you nightmares. Yeah, she was 18 when she wrote this. Or so I deduced from the fact she said in her bio, updated 2007, that she's 23 and the fic I am MSTing is from 2002. If I had ever written such crap, I'd already have deleted it when I got more age and sense.


I agree with you about her brain cells, even I was a better writer already at the age of 16 or so.

Edit: Mathonwy, the Quixote thing is absolutely right. Only even Don Quixote was more sensible than Kalan...
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Rhysmel
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Waiting For Tomorrow
Not a problem at all. I've got other thoughts to keep me awake as well. At least this helps. Now I can happily think of murdering the 18-year-old-who-is-now-23-but-continues-to-update-drivel.

Quote:
 
Eowyn (as Kalan): Is that how athelas is used?
Faramir (as Aragorn): No, this is gob. I need my nicotine dose.
Eowyn (as Kalan): But how about my wound?
Faramir (as Aragorn): First things first, kid.

Oh yeah, Aragorn has to be doped if has to survive this.

Quote:
 
Hmm. Considering the levels of self-delusion going on here, perhaps Don Quixote would be more appropriate?

I completely agree, although I daresay, Cervantes was a better author and definitely talking about dragon spawn.


I bet Caranthol that you were a better writer. Now, I'm beginning to think even I can write better than this woman. I mean, I do write but they're not stories. Just pieces for a newspaper and random thoughts.
" Proud member of Society for Protection of Neglected Commas"
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Well, Sylver-Star isn't raping Middle-Earth canon anymore, since after this and the horrid sequel, she has written a few Transformers stories. Now, I liked those comics much when I was a youngster. Maybe I should watch the film, just to refresh memories, and then... spork those fics into Hell! Mwahahaha! Or maybe not. After these two stories I won't waste even a second on Sylver's prose.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
Glad to hear that and I know there are some authors I've read on the site where I think, "They have to be lying about their age."

That last chapter though made me kinda sick with how the Fellowship was all about treating Kalan. Ugh.
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
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Rhysmel
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Waiting For Tomorrow
Quote:
 
Before the Fellowship, stood a tall male elf and to his left was the most beautiful elfess any of them had ever seen.

All: Elfess?
Eowyn: That would like be calling a woman a ‘manness’.
Faramir: Sylver, there’s a nice word in Sindarin. Elleth, e-l-l-e-t-h.

.


That is a first.*starts applauding*

Quote:
 
Kraut (as Galadriel): Time for a drink! Vodka or Jägermeister, honey?
Celeborn looked over at her.
Eowyn (as Celeborn): Vodka, and make it double. I think I need it.

Maybe they ought to mix bleepka in Vodka too.

Quote:
 
Eowyn (slaps her forehead): For the one thousandth and sixty-fourth time.
Faramir (exasperately): Why must everyone pet him all the time? He isn’t a kitten or a puppy.

Why can't they stop touching him?! I have a puppy but I don't spend my day petting her. This is just so absurd!

Quote:
 
the smaller participants waving and slashing

Kraut (coughs because of a fit of laughter.)

My computer now hates coffee.

Quote:
 
Pippin: Because Boromir was finally fed up and threw the nearest object at Kalan.

Would Boromir like my UPS? Its heavy and very good for throwing. And I'm trying to get rid of it in the best possible way.

Quote:
 
1 "Ah! Sleeping Beauty wakes up at last!"

Legolas knows fairy tales?

I don't suppose Suethors know where to draw the line between modern speech and archaic language.

I am actually very happy that Sylver appears not to have read the books. It is bad enough with Kalan stealing the roles of the characters. I don't want to read of Kalan chasing the Winged Messenger.*shudders*

As an afterthought, since Kalan is such a great therapist, maybe we should make him meet Samantha. That is sure to bring out some results. :rolleyes:





" Proud member of Society for Protection of Neglected Commas"
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
An excellent idea, Rhysmel! If you don't mind my stealing the idea, I could write a parody, something like "His Greatest Challenge: Dr. Kalan Meets Sam".

As for the 'slashing' thing, the joke was completely random, but after a hundred incidents of hugging, soothing and pawing, sort of inevitable.

Kalan chasing the Winged Messenger? Now that would have made an amusing scene, just begging for The Ride of Valkyries or the theme of Battle of Britain on the background. I can just imagine the Fell Beast and Kalan circling each other in a heroic dogfight... Or perhaps not. Kalan on the ground is bad enough, he doesn't need to transform to Red Baron.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Rhysmel
Member Avatar
Waiting For Tomorrow
Go ahead! By all means, write the parody!

Kalan as Red Baron? He's doing well enough stealing character roles without having to take on actual historical figure. Or maybe thats grounds for another side-story...
" Proud member of Society for Protection of Neglected Commas"
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Caranthol
Member Avatar
At Journey's End
Yeah. Isn't it nice how Kalan reduces Boromir to an almost statistic role in the fight at Parth Galen?
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Rhysmel
Member Avatar
Waiting For Tomorrow
Oh, it is very nice. I really felt like ruffling those smooth as spaghetti carbonara hair that he has... Seriously, who gives a damn about Boromir, the Captain of the White Tower of Ecthelion? He's just an ebul, snivelling, cowardly fool...
" Proud member of Society for Protection of Neglected Commas"
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Mathonwy
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Waiting For Tomorrow
Quote:
 
"Not if we hold true to each other," he clasped them each on the shoulder. "We will not abandon Merry, Pippin and Kalan to torture and death.

Aww, Aragorn - I was right with you until part-way through that last sentence.

Hold on, awesome!Kalan with his super-Stu powers is now the helpless, forlorn prisoner of some random orcs? Is this the same deal by which he constantly jumps between being a child and an aeon-old dragon? Consistency, please!
"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
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Caranthol
Member Avatar
At Journey's End
Plus, why didn't he use his circus tent-size wings to grab the hobbits and fly off with them? I think the Orcs would have been amazed enough to let even Boromir to slink off. I should have mentioned that in the MST, but numbed by the sheer idiocy of the story I realized it only now.

Well, I think I take a little break before attempting the sequel. To do that before tomorrow afternoon, at least, would melt my brains. And I like my brains.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Rhysmel
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Waiting For Tomorrow
Why can't these suethors ever respect Boromir? The Departure of Boromir is condensed into four sentences. FOUR FRIGGIN' SENTENCES! This lady has some capacity for summarizing.

I was wondering, even if the Stu was stupid enough to be captured, why didnt he fly off later? Only his wrists and ankles were tied. In desperate need of logic, we are...
" Proud member of Society for Protection of Neglected Commas"
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
If logic was sold in cans I'd send some to these Suethors. What annoys me most in the portrayal of Boromir is that otherwise he isn't depicted that bad, but he still takes two manhandlings from Kalan without so much as a word of protest and is in a side role even in his own death scene. And then... bye bye, without even a proper description of his funeral, since he can't anymore bask in the Stu's glory.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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