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MST: Shadowed Past II [REVIEWS]; Reviews for Kalan's further adventures.
Topic Started: Oct 1 2008, 06:30 PM (1,269 Views)
MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
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the slashy stuff is later.

All: NO!


You mean we haven't even SEEN the slashy stuff yet? Good lord, good thing this was discontinued.

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They are just a bit more than brothers.


Oh now that is just sick and wrong. Besides, he's been violated in the worst way--I don't think Kalan is going to go readily back to his lover.

I left a review for this story, just telling her my opinion that Kalan most likely would've been left in Rohan under the care of healers while Aragorn and the others pressed on, that sometimes you have to leave one behind for the safety of others.
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


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Rhysmel
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Waiting For Tomorrow
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“I think that I could purloin some boots Rohan’s supplies. I don’t think Theoden would mind too much,”

Faramir: Then why not to ask for a complete outfit from him?


Methinks this sentence was penned just to show us that Sylver does know what the word "purloin" means. Besides, asking Theoden follows logic.

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Aragorn smiled softly at their approach. Merry grinned and started to run to Kalan,

Kraut (as little kid!Merry): Gee! I wanna play with him!

Aww, look at those cute widdle hobbit children. Aren't they just so adorable? :rolleyes:

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The beast gently nudged Kalan’s chest with his nose and ‘wuffed’ against him

Ladies and Gentlemen, Sylver Star productions, bring to your screen, for the very first time (yet again), the world's first barking horse-dog hybrid....ASTALSUL!*
(*Comes complete with tragic back story.)


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2 Thank you, my friend

Kraut: Does anybody invent anything clever? Because I can’t.

How about " shut up, you fiend"?

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They are just a bit more than brothers.

Of course they are. Their father is Kalan's soulmate. Forget Celebrian.

Can we have some Sioux Indians in this story? Its about time someone scalps Kalan. At least, that would rid us of all the hair smoothening and what not.

My eyes are in danger of being stuck because of all the rolling they've done. *rolls eyes* Damn.
" Proud member of Society for Protection of Neglected Commas"
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Thanks to all reviewers! It was high time for this story to end, since I begun to feel like it killed my brain cells. Only, I wonder how the rest of it would have been. Hmm, Legolas and Kalan in a hot embrace in the middle of the Battle of Pelennor Fields... Denethor committing a suicide just because he was so annoyed by Kalan, not because of the visions in palantir... The Witch-King suffocating from his own vomit after seeing the Stu.. The possibilities are endless.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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AraionaDuBois
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Chasing Shadows
Thanks for that...both the amazing MST and the image of Legolas and Kalan getting it on...*shudder*
Smashed down the light. I will not rest till I'm king. Valinor's empty now. allied the elves and men they shall be damned. A Dark Passage, Blind Guardian.

Now truly I am king of the world. Master of fate Damned shall thy house be. Thou shall not question my power Nor shall thou defy me further. The Steadfast, Blind Guardian.
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Fishpaste
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Rising Again
Thank the Lord it's over! For once I'd like to read a decent dragon canonical story, where the dragon is bad and has no particular powers. *sigh* Maybe one day.
Books contain knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Corruption is a crime. Crime never pays. So, if I keep reading, Im gonna go broke!

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jules14
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(Wo)man on a Mission
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Somehow I begin to have doubts that Sylver has mixed up Lord of the Rings and Wheel of Time in her little head. If there’s talk about channelling, it’s settled.


Oh, Kalan is such a Wheel of Time Stu. No question about it. He´s supposedly a brave, strong, cool-headed warrior, but all his courage and strength magically disappear when the author either wants him to wangst or turn into comic relief or get into a "romantic" (try "pukeworthy") situation. You see this again and again with the so-called "heroes" in Wheel of Time: Rand gets all wangsty and weepy every time he kills a woman (even if the woman is evil!), Mat is patronized and raped by a sex-starved and annoying middle-aged queen, and Perrin loses his mind and his balls whenever he´s around his screaming, psychotic harridan of a wife (whom he doesn´t recognize as a screaming, psychotic harridan).

Even Kalan´s name sounds like it came from Wheel of Time: Kalan Sadaya. Look at these other names: Min Farshaw, Gawyn Trakand, Siuan Sanche, Perrin Aybara, Nynaeve al´Maera, Mazrim Taim. Basically just a lot of cool-sounding syllables stolen from languages as diverse as Celtic and Japanese and rammed together to create silly-sounding fantasy names, in a pathetic attempt to imitate Tolkien´s language skills.

Ugh. Please, for the love of everything good, keep Wheel of Time far, FAR away from Tolkien. Still, I would love to read about those Wheel of Time pansies meeting characters like Aragorn, Denethor, Gandalf, Frodo, Sam, and Boromir, as well as all the male characters in "The Silmarillion". I think the Tolkien characters would practically be crying with laughter after barely a minute of speaking with them.
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Fishpaste
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Rising Again
Maybe you should write it?
Books contain knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Corruption is a crime. Crime never pays. So, if I keep reading, Im gonna go broke!

Proud member of the society for the Protection of Neglected Commas (SPNC)
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Well, jules, I must say you are absolutely right now when I think about it. The names in the Wheel of Time were exasperating to me even when I still liked to read the series. They were so confusing in their strangeness that I repeatedly couldn't remember who was who. I guess that Kalan would fit right away in the Wheel of Time, at least when it comes to his name, general annoyingness and whininess.

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Mat is patronized and raped by a sex-starved and annoying middle-aged queen


That was one of the things that made me to dislike the books. Of all the three male leads I liked only Mat and that sequence you mentioned was just annoying. If Jordan intended it to be humorous, he signally failed. It would have been mildly amusing, perhaps, if very, very much shorter. Plus it finally made Mat almost as spineless as the other two boys.

And as for Perrin's wife, well, I hate men who hit women but while reading I hoped that Perrin would finally trash that hag well. Wasn't she abducted at one point or was it another irritating woman? I remember that at one point I was relieved that at least one stupid character would be out of the way for some time.

As for Kalan Sadaya, it's just stupid in Middle-Earth context, Sadaya being Japanese. I wonder why the author had to use it when almost any European-sounding name would have been better (that is, if she didn't intend to use an Elvish name).

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Still, I would love to read about those Wheel of Time pansies meeting characters like Aragorn, Denethor, Gandalf, Frodo, Sam, and Boromir, as well as all the male characters in "The Silmarillion".


Haha, I can just imagine it: Rand fighting Thuringwethil and letting her win/escape because "I can't harm a woman, not anymore". Perrin would be hacked to pieces by Orcs because he is so averse to fighting and because those wolves suddenly sided with Morgoth (and because Orcs are tough, unlike those ridiculous trollocks or whatever Jordan called them). And the exhilarating sight of Denethor kicking those meddling and over-arrogant Aes Sedais far from Minas Tirith. Brilliant!
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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jules14
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(Wo)man on a Mission
I agree with you about the sequence in which Mat is raped: it was not funny, and it did finally make Mat seem spineless. What really got me, though, is how Elayne reacted when she learned about it: she LAUGHED, and she actually said that "he got a taste of his own medicine"! Excuse me? Mat never raped anyone. Yes, he seduced plenty of women, but he was NOT a rapist.

I never thought it was possible to hate Elayne any more than I did already, but after reading that passage, I so desperately wanted her to be killed and eaten that when I learned she had an even huger role in the last three books, I nearly flipped out. Seriously, she is one of the worst Mary Sues in fantasy literature.

I probably will write the parody. Your ideas are great, Caranthol, but I´m also excited about the strong female Tolkien characters kicking the sorry asses of those horrible female Wheel of Time characters, particularly the Aes Sedai. Can you imagine what would happen if Luthien or Galadriel met Nynaeve, Elayne, or Elaida?
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
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Can you imagine what would happen if Luthien or Galadriel met Nynaeve, Elayne, or Elaida?


Hehe, that wouldn't bode well for the last three, they would think that the battling the Forsaken was piece of cake. If I may give you an idea, how about Birgitte Trahelion against Eowyn?

As for Elayne's reaction, it was just hypocritical, as she in general was. I mean, wasn't she written as a bit of prude?

To say something to Jordan's credit, he wrote some of the bad guys well. I liked the parts with Shaidar Haran, for example, and some of the Forsaken were also well done. But the trollocks... Nah, they really were ridiculous, they made me think about the Carnival masquerade more than about an evil army. Straight copying of Orcs would have been less original but more effective. But on the other hand the Myrddraals really chilled me, as did those singing vampire-creatures.

I'd like to see your parody, if it's anything like your MSTs it surely will be hilarious.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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jules14
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(Wo)man on a Mission
Jordan did write most of the villains well. The Myrrdraal, though obvious Nazgul rip-offs, were still scary enough to give me chills whenever I read about them. The Forsaken in their early forms were just blood-curdling--and most of them were more well-rounded than the heroes. I still get nostalgic when I remember Ishamael, the insane philosopher who actually thought he was the Dark Lord; Lanfear the psychotic stalker; Moghedien the spineless coward; Asmodean, who might actually have been redeemed...

But then Jordan had to ruin it all by killing off these amazing characters or else making them much wimpier. When I read about Moghedien in the later books, I couldn´t believe she was the same character; in the earlier books she was a coward, but at least she wasn´t a sobbing, whimpering wreck! And Lanfear should have been left dead, but no, she had to be brought back in the form of a short porn star with apparently no purpose except to heal Jordan´s insatiable sexual frustration. Finally, we´re supposed to believe that Semirhage, the feared sadist who tortures her victims by stimulating their brains with magic, was defeated by nancy-boy Rand after just blowing off his hand?

Not to mention that now the Forsaken don´t do anything except chat over wine. They´re officially as boring and useless as the good guys.

What a lost opportunity the Wheel of Time series represents. The first few books could have gone somewhere and turned into a good fantasy series, but instead of moving the plot forward in four or five books, Jordan churned out six more in which nothing happens, just to milk the series for all it was worth. I´m sorry, but what a hack.
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Yes, the Wheel of Time was the first book where the villains were almost the only interesting characters. Well, in almost all novels they tend to be more complex and deep characters than good guys, but in WoT they completely stole the show from heroes until, say, book 15 (the Finnish edition is published as smaller books, I guess book 15 would be somewhere around halfway book 7 in original).

As for Myrddraals, they actually creeped me more than the Nazgûl in LotR. I don't know why, but somehow Jordan managed make them feel so cold and evil. But yeah, they are balatant rip-offs. Even their weapons are like Morgul blades.

Ahh yes, it's sad how the WoT turned out to be a promise that never materialized. I can't say I wholly wasted my time reading it, but I'm not too happy either. The only reason I'd read the books again would be to refresh my memory for a WoT fanfic parody or MST.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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jules14
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(Wo)man on a Mission
I usually just look online if I need to refresh my memory, partly because I gave away most of my Wheel of Time books. Or if I get curious about the books I haven´t read. I found out about the later books´plot (or lack thereof) online.
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