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MST: What the Future Holds [REVIEWS]; The comments go here.
Topic Started: Nov 13 2008, 07:40 PM (920 Views)
jules14
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(Wo)man on a Mission
Quote:
 
Faramir (seething): There couldn’t possibly be anyone that stupid in Gondor! She realizes only now there’s a war against our land?! Oh my Eru! It had already been waged for sixty bloody years!


Ah, but Leia is clearly related to Sue!Eilinel, who lived during the Wars of Beleriand and apparently didn´t realize that a war was being fought.

Good MST so far.
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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
Quote:
 
I still don't get how being a brother-in-law for a king could be a disgrace.


It probably makes sense in some twisted way in the Suethor's mind, but to everyone else it doesn't. Did anyone point out my statement Knight of Gondor < Heir Apparent of Rohan's Throne?

You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Actually, no one does as far as I noticed. What's more funny in the thing is that Leiawyn is a peasant, so she couldn't hope for a noble knight for a husband in any case. That makes Denemor an idiotic villain since he insists that as the ward of her sister he will decide whom she will marry. That would maybe become an interesting conflict, but Shelly resolves the whole thing with Prince Imrahil appearing as a deus ex machina, removing any rights Denemor has over her sister.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
A peasant? She'd be lucky to get a merchant, let alone a knight. Her brother should drop to his knees and thank his lucky stars a king is interested in his sister. Since Denemor isn't of the court, an interesting angle would be that he doesn't know how to play the game of matchmaking or that Leiawyn was already promised to another to pay off some debts (it was known to happen).
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Well, there's no sign of anything like that. Denemor only makes this one appearance, gets rebuffed and kicked out of the Rangers and that's all. I know that everyone can't be supposed to know much of medieval lifestyle or attitudes, but Shelly shows such ignorance that I'm baffled. I mean, for instance Lou "loves courting of many guys" and has had an affair with Boromir. In a later chapter she says "I almost got a Steward". Oh, Shelly, get real! If someone of royalty had an affair with a peasant girl, it would have been just that, only a little amusement for the male concerned and a lasting shame for the woman.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
Well, Lou's appearance means she's only attractive in modern times. Men liked their women to have some meat on their bones in medieval times--she could bear children and, if a farmer's wife, could do some heavy lifting. So, pretty much, Lou is the town whore? Good luck getting married now, sweetie. Though, it depends honestly. It is known that Henry VIII's mistresses were then married to dukes and other high-ranking officials when he was finished with them.

I jumped to the chapter and of course the older brother was painted as ebul and abusive because if he was just protective, he could still be sympathetic and the readers have to hate him because he's keeping the two apart. How stereotypical. Even if he were as ebul as she said, he'd probably be more cunning and manipulative, realizing how he could play this to suit his needs.
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
The attractiveness thing depended on class, I think. True, in lower classes men preferred robust women for the reasons you mentioned. But among the nobility the ideal of a beautiful woman was different. For instance, Wolfram von Eschenbach describes in his epic "Parzival" a maiden "so fair of skin that when she drank wine, it glowed through her throat as it flowed down it", and the trubadour and Minnesänger poems abound with women with swan-like figures and so on. But in any case Lou wouldn't have been considered desirable in her own social class.

And as for Denemor's scene, I think that in reality a king would have some bodyguards at the door of his chamber, so Denemor would have been stopped pretty short. But well, that wouldn't have been so dramatic.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
You know, I did thank my first flamer. Of course, it was a true flame--she said my story sucked and then knocked my rating (it was PG-13/T and she felt it should be less because I didn't curse. I explained that I felt some of the situations--sexual scenes, fighting scenes--later on warranted the rating). But that response is the classic fanbrat answer. Oh my goodness.

And I think the responses were as long as the story--which could use with some emotional description. She sees the Steward's son die but apparently feels nothing. At least Eomer is smart. I did like the "she was glowing" conversation and your riffs.
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Actually it was quite hard to riff that author note/review response portion. I didn't want to get too personal but Shelly's comments were just a bit too much for me. I have rarely seen a more arrogant attitude.

You are right, the fight with the Orcs has absolutely no impact. We get no insights of Leiawyn's feelings or of anything else. Well, I don't expect a professional level of writing in fanfiction, but that scene was just lame. And one question remains: If the Orcs were ordered to bring only the hobbits, why didn't they just kill the Sue?

Strangely, I have got no flames ever. Maybe it's because all my stories are of a different period than the Ring War and because I use canon characters only sparingly.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
It is sometimes hard to MST the review responses--which is why I'm glad that fanfiction.net prohibits responding to reviewers in chapters.

A lot of the writers we mock haven't learned how to use words to allow their audience to connect with their characters. This is a prime example. As for the orcs not killing the Sue--professional courtesy, I guess ;)

I got the flame in my Harry Potter stories--and I'm not sure if it was because my story sucked for its lack of cursing or because she wrote a self-insert who falls in love with Remus Lupin and one of my OCs does so as well.
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Quote:
 
As for the orcs not killing the Sue--professional courtesy, I guess 


Lol, you must be right! Surely one evil henchman recognizes another.

Quote:
 
fanfiction.net prohibits responding to reviewers in chapters.


Does ffnet really forbid that? Then they can't have too much time to check the stories, since the one I'm sporking is from ffnet.

That flamer of yours sounds like she was jealous or something. Maybe she thought that your story could steer some readers away from her oh so kewl self-insert.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
Quote:
 
Does ffnet really forbid that? Then they can't have too much time to check the stories, since the one I'm sporking is from ffnet.


Yeah, but FF.net admins rely on readers to alert them if someone is breaking the rules. And you can read my open letter to the admins about how bad the musicals/plays section has gotten to see how well THAT works. Also, when was this published again? If before 2005, the review reply option was not created so you had to reply in chapters. You can see the progress in my Elaborate Lives: Year Six and it's sequel, Year Seven, as I suddenly stop replying in reviews.

Quote:
 
That flamer of yours sounds like she was jealous or something. Maybe she thought that your story could steer some readers away from her oh so kewl self-insert.


She might have been. I was curious so I went to look at her story to see what she considers "not sucky" which is when I wondered if that was the real reason for the flame. But it also strikes me odd that while Harmony (the OC in love with Remus) was created first, I ended being able to write Kiki (OC in love with Snape) better so they had the more prevalent relationship. Besides, she was writing them in school--mine take place during Harry's Sixth and Seventh years.
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
Quote:
 
However I will write the story how I see fit to fill my desires.


Classic fanbrat response. :rolleyes: Does she own the book?

Quote:
 
Kätchen: Oh, you just are a complete stranger in strange clothes, found in the company of Orcs. Plus they are in the middle of a war. I think that about sums up your question.


You forgot glowing. I don't think you can trust anyone glowing.

Quote:
 
Eowyn (surprised): But… the riders didn’t drag their wives with them? That would have been a hindrance.


Well, we know in American history there were women who would follow their men around while they fought in the Revolution. Who isn't to say that some of the riders wives did the same?

Quote:
 
Eowyn (indignantly): He has blue eyes! He’s not a Dunlending.
Kraut (with a sigh): I wonder why every Suethor gets all the eye colours wrong every time.


Because rather than opening a book, they go to the movies and use the actor's eye color.

Quote:
 
Now please tell me why you were with orcs


Err, Eomer, didn't Aragorn already tell you that?

Quote:
 
Kraut: It was the ghost of Tolkien, reminding him to stay in character.


My favorite line. I think there are also plenty characters Tolkien's ghost needs to visit.
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caranthol
Member Avatar
At Journey's End
Quote:
 
Well, we know in American history there were women who would follow their men around while they fought in the Revolution. Who isn't to say that some of the riders wives did the same?


True enough, and in Europe during Medieval times and Thirty Years' War it was more a rule than an exception that there were many women among the so-called camp followers of an army. But I thought that there wouldn't been any in this case, since Eomer was leading only a short-term mission, or according to movies, was banished.

Shelly does own the book, if I remember rightly she brags about loving the character of Eomer from the books. Let anyone believe who wants...

I really think Shelly's attitude is not the best one. I mean, why did she post this crap publicly if she doesn't respect her reviewers at all?
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
Quote:
 
But I thought that there wouldn't been any in this case, since Eomer was leading only a short-term mission, or according to movies, was banished.


For the former, I can see the wives thinking it wouldn't be necessary for them to follow their men. However, for the latter, I'm sure there was a camp of women saying, "You go, I go."

Quote:
 
Shelly does own the book, if I remember rightly she brags about loving the character of Eomer from the books. Let anyone believe who wants...


Well, as Tel pointed out over on fanfiction.net, she could've just flipped to the parts with Eomer in it.

Quote:
 
I really think Shelly's attitude is not the best one. I mean, why did she post this crap publicly if she doesn't respect her reviewers at all?


I think Shelly's mindset reflects a lot of these young authors. They think that if they post, people will automatically love their work. They aren't looking to better themselves, they are looking for praise. And when someone says anything that isn't "THIS IS GREAT! WRITE MORE!" They get upset because they aren't prepared to hear it yet.
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
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