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MST: What the Future Holds [REVIEWS]; The comments go here.
Topic Started: Nov 13 2008, 07:40 PM (919 Views)
MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
Quote:
 
Do not give up hope. Your faith in Eomer, Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli can help to change the world. As long as you believe so will they."

Mouth: So now the Sue has a cosmic importance? Interesting. Stupid but interesting.


Well, at least it isn't as stupid as Rosa having to marry Legolas or Middle-earth was DOOMED!

But it's up there.

Quote:
 
You aren’t her ward, are you?


I think you meant, "She isn't your ward, is she?"

Faramir: Oh, no, Rachel! What have you done?

Put herself on our "Must Kill" list, that's what she's done.

Quote:
 
As much as I appreciate your advice and information I don't plan on changing my story.

Maybe if I write another one I will research more details and get a beta reader. This is really just my flight of fancy. I'm not taking everything you explained into consideration, I'm just having fun writing a love story about one of my fav characters. I do promise that if I write another LOTR fic (besides my other one, Eye of the Beholder) I will (maybe) research everything and get a beta reader.


The keyword there being "maybe." Why waste all that space? A simple "FUCK YOU MEG!" would've sufficed and taken up less space.

Quote:
 
Kraut: Sauron in a Hawaii shirt and holding a ‘Peace’ placard?


This image made me laugh because a friend of mine wears Hawaiian shirts and I suddenly imagined him as Sauron.

Quote:
 
From now on you will sleep near me and Legolas, for he doesn't close his eyes and can watch you all the time."


Legolas: I'd rather be Captain Obvious than her babysitter.

Another good two chapters! Why are they still dragging this bint around with them? Why haven't they just dumped her in Rohan, under the care of some family close to the king?
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Thanks for reviewing!

Quote:
 
I think you meant, "She isn't your ward, is she?"


Well, I did mean that. I always seem to remember the meaning of "ward" as the exact opposite of the proper meaning. Seems I must be more careful with wording.

Quote:
 
The keyword there being "maybe." Why waste all that space? A simple "FUCK YOU MEG!" would've sufficed and taken up less space.


Hehe, so true. Shelly's attempt to be polite and circumspect made me chuckle. "I promise maybe to do it." Sounds very convincing, doesn't it?

As for leaving Leiawyn to Rohan, Aragorn and Eomer do just that. Only, they leave her in the custody of Eowyn. Guess who's going to Minas Tirith in disguise along with the shield-maiden?
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Fishpaste
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Rising Again
*groans* No, please no.
Books contain knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Corruption is a crime. Crime never pays. So, if I keep reading, Im gonna go broke!

Proud member of the society for the Protection of Neglected Commas (SPNC)
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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
Quote:
 
I always seem to remember the meaning of "ward" as the exact opposite of the proper meaning.


Well, here's a little help (from dictionary.com): Ward--A person who is under the protection or control of another. If you were addressing Aragorn, he'd be her guardian.

Quote:
 
Shelly's attempt to be polite and circumspect made me chuckle. "I promise maybe to do it." Sounds very convincing, doesn't it?


Shelly's attempt reminds me of me while I dance around trying not to flat out insult an author's work while reviewing. I think, though, she was trying not to come across as your typical fanbrat but either way, it just sounds like "FUCK YOU MEG!" because she's admitting she's not going to change. She doesn't want to change and thus, she's a fanbrat.

Quote:
 
As for leaving Leiawyn to Rohan, Aragorn and Eomer do just that. Only, they leave her in the custody of Eowyn. Guess who's going to Minas Tirith in disguise along with the shield-maiden?


:rolleyes: Great. Just great.
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
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Fishpaste
Member Avatar
Rising Again
*scream of rage* What did It DO to Aragorn! That's not aragorn, that's nothing LIKE Aragorn! The only thing they have in commen is a name!

1) Aragorn is 87 years old, I'm sure he can control his temper when talking with a child.

2) Your face does not swell that fast.

3) If he had hit her, he would probably have broken her cheek bone, he waas used to fighting.

4) Why on earth would he be scared of Eomer? He was a better swordsman than Eomer, especially on the ground.

5) Eomer could not have slain Aragorn without commiting treason, Aragorn had already revealed himself to him.

6)Eomer could not have slain such a valued leader of men.

7) I imagine Gandalf might have had a problem by the Hope of Men being killed over nothing.

8) Aragorn had every right to slap It, she was inferior to him in so many different ways, class, sex, power... No one would have thought anything of it.

9) I imagine Gimli, Legolas, Merry and Pippin would have had something to say about Eomer killing their friend and guide.

10) Aragorn was a guest of Theoden, Eomer had no right to threaten or kill him.

11) Why would Aragorn be so worried about a stupidly angry human girl? He had bigger things to think of.

12) I think Halbarad and co might have been slightly upset if Eomer had killed their chief.

*goes off to scream in rage again*
Books contain knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Corruption is a crime. Crime never pays. So, if I keep reading, Im gonna go broke!

Proud member of the society for the Protection of Neglected Commas (SPNC)
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
You are absolutely right, Shelly's "characterization" simply sucks. For instance, in the next chapter she writes that Eowyn had had an affair with a serf! As if. Actually it was that point that made me decide to MST this since Eowyn is one of my favourite characters and I didn't like too much Shelly's treatment of her.

Quote:
 
8) Aragorn had every right to slap It, she was inferior to him in so many different ways, class, sex, power... No one would have thought anything of it.


Not to mention the fact that simply to gainsay older people would have been sufficient reason alone. They had stricter views of the proper behaviour of youth in medieval times, to say the least. Shelly's writing this drivel like all characters were modern people, although she has read LotR. In any case she hasn't a clue of the societies and morals Tolkien portrayed.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
HATI, as a friend, I encourage you to avoid Chapter 4 of "Enna." It isn't pretty.

And Caranthol, I myself am a fan of Eowyn. And I am not looking forward to seeing Shelly's massacre.
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
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Fishpaste
Member Avatar
Rising Again
Oh I've read Enna. And I've got an outburst ready for that chapter.

*sigh* Shelly has made it to my Die list. Which is actually quite small. I prefer torture.
Books contain knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Corruption is a crime. Crime never pays. So, if I keep reading, Im gonna go broke!

Proud member of the society for the Protection of Neglected Commas (SPNC)
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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
Quote:
 
Wow, my story is awesome.


Well, if by "awesome" you mean "a canon-raping mess," then yes, your story is awesome.

Quote:
 
Also I'm not paying that much attention to all the book details like exact dates and
length between events. I'm just to lazy and more concerned on the development of Leiawyn
and Eomer's relationship.


However, their relationship has moved so fast it is unbelievable. Perhaps if you focused on the length between events, you'd have time to further develop...oh, who am I kidding?

Quote:
 
Mouth: Well, since everyone else in this fic was the buddy of her father why not the old Steward?


I wouldn't be surprised; however, I have a feeling that if Shelly were to right the Steward, he'd be a right mean bastard.

Quote:
 
They were always superficial and gossiped about everything.


Methinks Shelly isn't quite so popular at school.

Quote:
 
Pippin (sarcastically): Here and There obviously being the biggest cities of Rohan, after Edoras.


Hey, Ducky wrote that Minas Tirith was the entirety of Gondor and there were "small villages" who had their own kings! This is better.

Quote:
 
'Ok never mind, she is like all other women’ Leiawyn thought.


Hey, here's a thought, Eowyn is used to courtly ways. I highly doubt she would greet someone until they had been introduced to her. It is not up to her to say, "Hi, I'm Lady Eowyn. What's your name?"

Quote:
 
If I'm not mistaken, you had that long affair with Hamothen, who was a farmer.


Yes, because Eowyn strikes me as a person who left her king's hall and struck up with the local peasants. Right. :rolleyes:

Quote:
 
"Wormtongue! HE is poison!"

"Eowyn's words! I know she isn't fond of you, but her words are not her own.


No, don't make Eowyn's COMMON SENSE and LOGIC part of Wormtongue's treachery.

Quote:
 
I realized I liked Eowyn too much to make her evil


A slut? Yes. Easily swayed? Yes. An emo teenager with a crush? Yes.
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
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Fishpaste
Member Avatar
Rising Again
*headdesk* Eomer should be begging for Aragorns forgiveness. Eomer does not need to forgive Aragorn anything, he's done nothing wrong!
Books contain knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Corruption is a crime. Crime never pays. So, if I keep reading, Im gonna go broke!

Proud member of the society for the Protection of Neglected Commas (SPNC)
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Siany-T
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King of Nothing
Urg so cliched!

Quote:
 
I've been arguing with my brain

You have one?

Quote:
 
a Mary Sue
....
Also I'm not paying that much attention to all the book details like exact dates and length between events. I'm just to lazy and more concerned on the development of Leiawyn and Eomer's relationship.

Oh she admits it? Pity there is NO development.

Quote:
 
Looking at the land before her, she suddenly realized that it was still dark.

Ladies and Gentlemn we have a new low for Sue stupidity.

Quote:
 
That thing he brought back here with him.
...
I hardly think she counts as a woman.
...
She is poison!

Yay, go Eowyn.

Quote:
 
but a voice was telling her that is was a bad thing.

What? Eowyn actually likes the Sue? Psh.

Quote:
 
Eowyn: For the record, Eomer wasn’t in the habit of beating his soldiers. Nor was anyone else in Rohan or Gondor.
Mouth: Really? How come were they so brave, then? Our Orcs wouldn’t have moved an inch without whips.
Kraut: You really should take a course in employee-friendly management or something.

*laughs* Sauron and Saruman in a course.

Quote:
 
Eowyn: How about you just followed the mountains, dumbass? Or are you too stupid to even see them?

Oh remember this is the 'girl' who was shocked to realize it was still dark.

Quote:
 
Kätchen: After which he went psycho and donned a hockey mask. After brutally killing half a dozen dim and horny highschoolers he finally was stopped by a smart and brave teenager.

*Trailer voice-over* Eomer is Jason Voorhees.
Merlin: Thank you.
Arthur: For what? For lying to my father to save your worthless hide? If you ever put me in that situation again, Merlin, I will clap you irons myself.
Merlin, Series 2


David: Oh and John. My TARDIS... mine. Say sorry.
John: Sorry.
Tonight's the Night: Doctor Who Special


Team Demyx - 'cause that is how I roll!
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Quote:
 
However, their relationship has moved so fast it is unbelievable. Perhaps if you focused on the length between events, you'd have time to further develop...oh, who am I kidding?


True. I might even use a stronger word than unbelievable. Come on, they have known for, what, a week and they already are planning a marriage. Well, just wait for the compulsory sex scene. It's so full of cheese that you won't need to buy anything else on your bread for a week.

Quote:
 
if Shelly were to right the Steward, he'd be a right mean bastard.


Fortunately she doesn't write Denethor in her story, so we are spared of one character-rape.

Quote:
 
Hey, Ducky wrote that Minas Tirith was the entirety of Gondor and there were "small villages" who had their own kings! This is better.


You are right. Ducky's vision of Gondor is like it was the Gaul during the 6th Century with all those little Germanic kingdoms (though I highly doubt Ducky knows anything about it). I also got amused when I read the mention of the King of Letto. It happens that Letto in Finnish means "watery swamp", so my image of this king wasn't too grand.

As for Shelly's treatment of Eowyn, it is simply bad, really bad. The somewhat haughty, cold and distant White Lady is reduced to the level of hormone-filled fourteen-year-old. Tolkien must have rolled in his grave (for the millionth time).

There's still five chapters left of this drivel. I will brave through it but I doubt my writing skills will get permanently damaged after this.
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Siany-T
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King of Nothing
Quote:
 
Tolkien must have rolled in his grave (for the millionth time).

The amount of times he spins in his grave, we could power the Earth.
Merlin: Thank you.
Arthur: For what? For lying to my father to save your worthless hide? If you ever put me in that situation again, Merlin, I will clap you irons myself.
Merlin, Series 2


David: Oh and John. My TARDIS... mine. Say sorry.
John: Sorry.
Tonight's the Night: Doctor Who Special


Team Demyx - 'cause that is how I roll!
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Fishpaste
Member Avatar
Rising Again
Maybe the fanfics are all part of his grand plan?
Books contain knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Corruption is a crime. Crime never pays. So, if I keep reading, Im gonna go broke!

Proud member of the society for the Protection of Neglected Commas (SPNC)
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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
Quote:
 
I’m glad their friendship didn’t seem rushed.


*Falls on floor laughing*

Quote:
 
“I go for battle, but I also go to see the one my heart lies with.


Try again. Eowyn went for a glorious death.

Quote:
 
then I think you should come with me.”


Please tell me Leiawyn doesn't kill the Witch King...Please...

Quote:
 
Eowyn sat up and laughed harder as she saw Leiawyn sprawled out on the floor.


Oh Shelly completely missed Eowyn's mindset in the books.

Quote:
 
Kraut: I know, but zombies are always entertaining.


I don't even think zombies could save this story.

Quote:
 
Eowyn, hair blowing in the wind, facing off with the Black Lord.


Oh thank Jonas!

Quote:
 
It was then that Eomer’s eyes fell on his sister, he came to her side distraught but paid no attention to Leiawyn.

Pippin (laughing): Did she hide her head in a paper bag or is Eomer blind, just like those Orcs?


Nope, just Canon!Eomer making an appearance.

Quote:
 
King Theodred.


So, Theoden died and Theodred took the throne? Interesting...


You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
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