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MST: What the Future Holds; Mary Sue meets Eomer.
Topic Started: Nov 13 2008, 07:51 PM (697 Views)
Caranthol
Member Avatar
At Journey's End
Title:MST: What the Future Holds
Author:Caranthol
Rating: PG-13
Genre:Parody, original story Romance/General
Text it is based on: Shel Bel1983's (of ffnet) What the Future Holds.
Characters: Sporkers: Faramir, Eowyn, Pippin, Mouth of Sauron, Joachim Kraut and Katherina Sturm (OC's). The original story: Many of the LotR characters, two OFCs.
Summary: An MST of a Mary Sue story starring OFC named Leiawyn who starts by looking for Strider and ends up falling in love with Eomer.
Warnings: None I know of.


MST: What the Future Holds

The prisoners were bored. There had been almost nothing to do for two weeks. They had played so many games of cards that the kings, queens and aces whirled around even in their dreams. There were still thousands of unread books in the libraries, but it got tiring even for Faramir to sit in an easy-chair all day, as avid a reader as he was. Although they had had some horrid fics, now they almost hoped for one, since a change would have been welcome.

One morning all the prisoners sat in the courtyard, sipping their tea. They enjoyed the cool morning air in silence and watched as the shafts of sunlight moved on the pavement and the trees beside the fountain. But suddenly their peaceful breakfast was interrupted by thumping sounds like heavy footfalls behind them. Pippin asked, without even bothering to turn:

”Yes, Deusexmachina? Another badfic, eh? I thought you had forgotten us already.”

A deep, cold voice dripping with evil scorn answered:

”My name is not Deusexmachina, you little brat. And I do not think you have forgotten me.”

All the prisoners rose, wheeling around in surprise. They exclaimed in horror when they saw a tall, lean and narrow-faced man, dressed in a black robe and wearing his white hair quite short. The man’s appearance wasn’t that terrifying in itself, but his steel-gray eyes shone with malice and cruelty so appalling that all felt a chill going up their spine. Pippin cried hoarsely:

”Mouth of Sauron!”

The man smiled contemptuosly.

”Yes, ’tis I, Master Halfling. It is good to see that drink hasn’t yet eroded what small wits you did have.”

The others, who had stood still like spellbound, stirred. Kraut and Kätchen embraced each other, shivering with terror seeing the lieutenant of the Dark Tower. Eowyn knotted her fists, looking defiantly at the foul man and Faramir reached for his sword only to find he didn’t wear it this morning. Seeing this, Mouth of Sauron raised his eyebrows.

”Ah, I see I have made an impression.” He turned his eyes towards Faramir and Eowyn.
”Hold your peace, princeling. I am not armed, you see. Would not your so-called honour be stained if you attacked an old man?” Faramir frowned, and Mouth laughed dryly.
”I thought so, boy. And you, tomboy of a princess, don’t try to fool me with your antics. You are but a scorned woman who tried to get herself killed because of a petty infatuation. You could not even avoid crying from fear when you saw the mighty With-King. And you call yourself a shield-maiden?”

Eowyn stepped forward, shaking her fist and said, her eyes blazing:

”Beware, you foul servant of Sauron lest I send you to same fate as that dwimmerlaik!”

Mouth of Sauron replied scornfully:

”You certainly have a big mouth, tomboy. But now you do not have that whining midget vassal of yours to help you. That sneak backstabbed the glorious King so that you could steal all the renown and honour. Without him the King of Wraiths would have fed you to his mount, if even a fell beast would have eaten something so full of bile. Command your cowardly husband around, if you will, but you cannot threaten me, the mighty Mouth of Sauron!”

Faramir and Eowyn now both trembled with a barely controlled anger, but the Mouth ignored them and laid his eyes on the young student couple, speaking with a mockingly soothing tone.

”Well well, what have we here? Poor babies, you do not have anything to fear from me – presently. Piles of dust as you are of no interest to me, you would break far too easily to be of much an amusement.”

Both Kraut and Kätchen tried to look brave, looking up. But after only a moment they had to lower their faces before the cold gaze of Mouth. The evil man smiled yet again. Pippin now stammered:

”But aren’t you supposed to be dead?”

Mouth gave him an amused ”humph” and said:

”You should know that I am not to be killed by anybody in Arda, at least not by chickens like you. I, the age-old sorcerer and the lieutenant of my Lord, dead? I do not know why I deigned even to reply to you.”

His boasting was cut short, however, by a swirl of leaves stirred by a sudden gust of wind. The dry leaves rose as a man-high spiral when the wind grasped them. The spiral moved in the centre of the group and suddenly rose to the sky, revealing Deusexmachina, who said in a mock-hurt voice:

”Mouthy, I think I had something to do with your survival. Is this how you show gratefulness?” He feigned a sob, and then turned towards the others:

”I must apologize for him. His temper obviously hasn’t improved by the confinement I put him in.”

The Mouth grimaced.

”If you speak of that box, you filthy madman, you would not be delighted of living in it either.”

Deusexmachina smiled.

”I still think that it was better than dying. Don’t you?”

Mouth of Sauron suddenly seemed to hesitate, a sight that was bewildering after his bragging just a minute ago. He mumbled something that could have been ”yes” and the Maia nodded, shaking his finger at the morose Mouth of Sauron.

”Very well. Now, I recommend you behave well or I must send you back. I have explained to you how the things stand and you can badmouth the fics all you wish, but leave my other guests alone. Is that understood?”

Mouth made a resigned gesture of assent with his hand, and Deusexmachina went on:

“Good. Oh well, now I think I will leave you to chat with the others. You have met Peregrin before, if I am not mistaken.”

At this point Pippin broke in:

“He has, and believe me, I have no wish to renew the acquaintance. Why don’t you just take that dirty villain back to wherever you found him?”

The Maia sighed and explained:

“That wouldn’t be fun. This is an experiment, you know? The same rules apply to all so I trust you won’t insult poor Mouthy needlessly. I think you should just get along somehow. I have taken away most of Mouthy’s magic ability so you don’t have much to fear.”

Mouth and the others eyed each other with suspicion and hatred, but shrugged resignedly nonetheless. Faramir grew restless of the tension and just to say something, asked aloud:

“So, what kind of fic you will give us now?”

Deusexmachina rubbed his hands.

“Ah, this one will be a treat for the fair lady.”

Kätchen and Eowyn exchanged a scrutinising glance, and the Maia was compelled to continue:

“Well, you both are fair for sure, but I meant you, Eowyn. In this fic your brother will fall in love.”

Eowyn’s face brightened:

“Oh, it’s about Lothiriel then, isn’t it? But that can’t be wholly bad, then.” Seeing the amused flicker in Deusexmachina’s eyes, she paused for a moment, then said:

“Wait, this isn’t Lothiriel? It’s a Mary Sue, right?”

The Maia nodded.

“Yes, it is. To the library you go.”

As there was nothing else to do, they obeyed and took seats, Mouth of Sauron sitting a bit separated from the others, a fact that seemed to make both parties happy.


------

What the Future Holds

Eowyn (gloomily): Hopefully a speedy end for the Sue.

by Shel Bel1983

Pippin: Let’s call her just Shelly, right?
The others (nod.)
Mouth of Sauron: Whatever.


They need a Eomer character choice!

Eowyn: I agree… until a point.

This is about a girl who is saved by Eomer and takes part in the war.

Kraut: Hmm, the last part smells like a bad Eowyn-copy.
Kätchen: Hush, you may piss the original off.


A Mary Sue

All (stare.)
Faramir: She actually admits it? Remarkable.


and A/U, but hey it has Eomer in it! *REVISED*

A/N: Ok I saw TTT and fell head over heels in love with Eomer!

Mouth (scoffs): Oh, great. More horny fanbrats.
Pippin (curiously): How do you know about these things?
Mouth (with a bored look): What do you think that lousy excuse of a Maia gave me for reading?
Pippin: I see.


I don't think there are enough stories of him so I thought I would write one.

Eowyn: Listen, Shelly, there’s not enough good stories of Eomer.

This first chapter is more of a introduction to Leiawyn,

Kraut (laughing): Heh, that sounds like a Rohirric version of Star Wars!
Kätchen: How about the other cast in Old English? Obi Wanulf? Luke Lyftganer? Hans Olo?


who is a Mary Sue. I promise more characters

Kraut: Yup. Like Gary Stu, Larry Lou and Doctor Who. Not that there’s anything wrong in the last one.

will come in as the story progresses.

Faramir: Obviously, the Sue must have somebody to drool over.

This is slight AU.

Mouth: AU standing for Anemic and Unattractive?

Also if you want to review individual chapters PLEASE read the whole story to make sure I haven't already answered you questions or responded to your flames.

Mouth: Flames of Mount Doom is the right place for this, I already think.

*UPDATE*
I have gone through and changed somethings. I have added new parts, little bits of dialogue, and little more descriptions. There not HUGE changes but you might want to reread the chapters.
Disclaimer: I own only Leiawyn and Lou.

Kraut: I told you there’s Lou in this!

If I owned anything else, like Eomer, do you think I would be sitting here writing when I could be with him?

Eowyn (venomously): The question is if he would want to be with you?

I think not!!

(Laughter.)
Faramir: Nor do we. Get on with it so we can leave earlier.


Leiawyn took one last look around her room to see if she had left anything behind. Her house was a small but cozy stone building on a small claim of land. It laid just inside the wall of the Gondorian city Minas Tirith.

Pippin: What? There were no space for farms in the city.
Kraut: Maybe she means the house was inside Rammas Echor?


She had lived in the house her entire life, first with both parents, then with just her father. Her mother left when Leiawyn was three to visit some family and she never returned from the trip.

Mouth: She had finally got enough of her Mary Sue of a daughter and fled all the way to Eriador.
Eowyn: A smart woman.


Leiawyn’s father spent years searching for his wife to no avail,

Faramir (as Leiawyn’s father): Damn that woman! I want to get rid of the Sue as well!

and the lose had taken it‘s toll on him. Leiawyn had some memories of her mother but they were slowly fading with time. According to her father, Leiawyn looked like her mother. There have been several moments in her life, where Lieawyn’s father had to leave because looking at Leiawyn was painful.

Kätchen: He suddenly felt murderous rage because his wife left him alone with that girl.

Leiawyn pushed the thought of her mother out of her mind. She picked up her pack from her bed and started to head outside to her waiting horse, Alatus.

Kraut: Not to forget the spare horses Alanus, Visigothus and Vandalicus.

As she passed her father's room, she entered it and found his sword wrapped in his cloak laying on the bed. Picking it up she caught the scent of him

(Snickers.)
Pippin: From metal? Seriously?
Mouth: Impressive. She beats our tracker Orcs.
Faramir: That or daddy hadn’t had a bath since he was born.


and felt tears coming to her eyes.
"Oh father! I miss you more than I can say. I know not what I'm going to do now with my life."

Mouth (with a cruel look): End it. In fact, I volunteer to do it for you.

Leiawyn hugged the bundle close as tears glided down her face." I am going to deliver your sword to Strider and tell him of your passing.

Eowyn: How come Aragorn knows some random Gondorian commoner? Or would be interested in him?
Faramir: Remember that he was in Gondor as Thorongil, my dear.
Pippin: But… but he was known as Strider only in Bree-land!


I know it is my place to do this,

Kätchen: How about just sending it via mail? Much faster and easier.

and I will accept it without complaint. However I do wish this had come later in my life. I don't know how a girl barely twenty can do this,

Kraut: Hey, she’s got some sense!

but I will "

Mouth:…Miserably fail.

Leiawyn left the room with the bundle still against her chest. She felt so alone now that her father was gone. She had an older brother, but he was out with the Rangers in her father’s place,

Faramir: I am quite sure I never had a man in my troops who had a daughter named Leiawyn. Plus they mostly were country boys, not from Minas Tirith.
Eowyn: It’s funny how after all this nostalgy we don’t even know her father’s name, or that of his brother’s.


and she hardly saw him. Leiawyn walked outside with her pack and her fathers sword. She had just finished securing her belongings to Alatus and was about to mount him when a voice called out to her.

Pippin: It was her brother rejoicing that she finally would disappear.

"Leia!

Kraut (as Darth Vader): Princess Leia! Finally I have you in my power! Mwahahahaha!
Kätchen (as a stormtrooper): Erm, my Lord, it is a wrong Leia.
Kraut (as Darth Vader): What does that matter? The Emperor wants Leia, and Leia is what he gets!


I know you aren't still going to do this, are you?" Leiawyn turned to see her best friend Lou running up to her. Leiawyn and Lou had been best friends their entire life.

Kraut: Maybe because both had names that clearly were not suitable in Middle-Earth.

Lou was a tall skinny blonde girl with lively eyes who loved to have guys courting her, she considered it her talent.

Mouth: I know a word for that kind of woman. A nice little word.
Eowyn: Shut it, you dirty old man. I don’t want to hear it.
Faramir: On another note, it’s too bad for Lou that she probably will be married off without so much as asking her consent. So let her enjoy a little flirting when she still can.


Her only flaw was her name which was Louimir. Her parents

Pippin: had quitted school early so they couldn’t even write Luimir or Luinir right.

had wanted a boy so badly they kept the name, even when they found out the baby was a she.

Kätchen: Yep, so they wanted to traumatize the girl with a boy’s name. Nice people, I must say.

"We have been over this a thousand times. I have to inform Strider of my father's death. They were old friends."

Kraut (as Leiawyn): They used to hang around in the Prancing Pony. Never mind it’s over five hundred miles from here.

Leiawyn explained again to Lou. The two were so different yet so alike.

Faramir: Which means?
Eowyn: They both have characters as deep as a piece of cardboard, but have differently coloured hair, is my guess.


Leiawyn was 5'5 to Lou's 5'9. Leiawyn had deep blue eyes and thick dark brown hair a little past her shoulders, that at the time was tied back. She had a full figure with a little meat on her bones,

Pippin: That means she was fat like a whale.
Kraut: Oh, no. This is a Sue story, remember?


but carried herself well. At the moment she was wearing a simple emerald dress with her sword hanging from her hip and no shoes.

Kätchen: A dress? No shoes? Let me get this straight: I’ve been a girl scout for years and if that’s a outfit for forest travel I’m a moron.
Kraut (sarcastically): Hey, at least the dress is green! Some camouflaging, you know.


Thou the two girls looks varied, they had the same strong personalities

Faramir: Read: They were immature and irritating.

that often resulted in fights.

Faramir: See?
Mouth: They sound suspiciously like Orcs.


Leiawyn saw the worry in her friends green eyes
"Can't another Ranger do it?

Eowyn: A brilliant question, Lou. Keep it up.

Isn't that like part of the Ranger code or something?" Lou knew it was a losing battle, but couldn't stand to see her friend leave all alone to find Strider. All she knew was that Leia had received word from another Ranger that he and seven other travelers were heading towards the elf city of Lothlorien.

Kraut: Reading the books I never realized Elves were this urban. First Rivendell’s a city and now even Lorien?

Lou had heard of the stories of the woods and feared her friend was sure to die

Mouth: An exhilarating thought. Let me ponder a little upon it. (Leans back in his chair and closes his eyes, a blissful expression on his face.) Oh, yeah…
Pippin (uneasily): You sure are creepy.
Mouth: Thank you, midget.


"Please don't leave! How do I know you will come back?"
"I will come back, I have too. Other wise how will our future children become best friends like us? We made a promise when we were ten to raise our families together, and I will keep that promise "

Faramir: I really think your future husbands have something to say in it, too.
Eowyn: Mmmm… Cheese…


Lou threw her arms around Leiawyn's neck. Leiawyn could feel her friends body shaking as she cried. The two held on to each other for a moment then parted. Leiawyn mounted Alatus and took a deep breath. She had never traveled alone

Kraut: It shows. Hell, she can’t even put her shoes on!

and knew that something was changing in the world.

Kätchen: ‘cause the TV news had said so.

Pushing her fear to the back of her mind, she rode off fast without looking back.
***********************************************************************

Pippin: Whoa, who moron gave so much stars to this?

She had traveled for a little over a week, when at last she came to the woods of Lothlorien.

Eowyn: Just like that? With the Orc raids in Rohan and all? (turning towards Mouth) No wonder you lost the war if the Orcs couldn’t catch even a stupid, lone girl.
Mouth (dryly): Actually we would have won it if Gollum hadn’t bit off Frodo the Cry-Baby’s finger. Talk about luck.
Pippin: Touché.


Leiawyn was exhausted and hungry since she only stopped for a few hours everyday to rest.

Faramir: Kids, it is important to sleep regularly eight hours per night.

She dismounted and grabbed Alatus' bit. She stared at the woods and could tell they held a power within them that Leiawyn could feel to her very soul.

Kraut (surprised): She actually possesses a soul?

Taking a deep breath, she lead Alatus into the woods, uncertain of what lies ahead.

Mouth: Dear Melkor, let it be an instant death…

Leiawyn had walked less than five minutes when an arrow was pointed at her head. She grabbed the hilt of her sword when she felt

Kätchen: The arrow boring straight through her skull. The End.

another arrow from behind. Realizing she was surrounded by elves she held her hands up in surrender.
"Another human traveling through these woods? What is your name my lady? And what is your purpose here?" A blonde elf asked stepping forward.
"My name is Leiawyn, Master Elf. I have traveled from Gondor to seek out a friend, Strider.

Kraut (as the blonde elf): Too bad we know of no Strider. So buzz off.

I have grave news I must deliver.

Faramir (as the elf): The Sauron has won?
Eowyn (as Leiawyn): No, more important! My daddy is dead!


Also, may I learn your name?" Leiawyn responded trying to keep calm. She had heard was great bowmen elves were and did not wish to be on the receiving end of that skill.

Mouth: Unbelievable skill indeed, when they obviously stood only two yards away.

A smile crept across the elf's face. "Strider, yes. He has just passed through with several others.

Pippin (as the elf): They carried this ring-thingy, ya know, the doom of world and all that jazz? (pauses) Oops, maybe I shouldn’t have said that.

You are lucky the Lady of the woods gave you permission to enter. Otherwise you would be dead right now, for we don’t like strangers in our land. My name is Haldir by the way. Follow me and I will take you to the one you seek." He turned and signaled for Leiawyn to follow.
Letting out the breath she didn’t even know she was holding, Leiawyn lead Alatus after Haldir

Kätchen: Who led Frankicus, Teutonicus and Tenctericus.

and took in the beauty of the woods. 'Soon I will see Strider.' She thought. 'I wonder who else I shall meet during my adventure?' Suddenly a voice entered her head.

Kraut: Great, another Sue in need of medication.

"My dear child, a head of you lies a future you will barely be able to comprehend.

Kraut (as the voice): ‘cause your IQ is smaller than your shoe size.
Faramir (as Leiawyn, dumb voice): But I don’t even have shoes!
Kraut (as the voice): Exactly.


It will hold many great things and great people."

Eowyn: Please, dear unembodied voice, could you be a little more obscure still?

*ok let me know what you think!

Pippin: Well, this far it’s not that bad. Remember Kalan?
The others (shiver.)
Mouth: Who?


Hopefully I can bring in Eomer in the next chapter or two.

Eowyn: I warn you, if you mess with my brother, then… (cracks her knuckles.)

(All exit.)
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Chapter 2

Next morning Faramir and Eowyn were rudely awakened by a horrid, long scream. They jumped out of their bed, shivering all over, since the sound was like Nazgûl’s cry. Faramir hastily threw his morning robe on and took his sword in his hand, as another wail rang in the air. Meanwhile, Eowyn grabbed a poker for a weapon. Faramir and Eowyn strode into the corridor, seeing the young students and Pippin emerging from their rooms, eyes wide with fright. Pippin gasped:

“I really hope Deusexmachina hasn’t dragged a Ring-Wraith here! One villain is bad enough.”

Faramir looked around and replied:

“Where is Mouth of Sauron? I bet this is some infernal sorcery of his.” He furrowed his brow.
“I will skewer him if he is trying anything funny!”

Another scream was heard and they indeed noticed that it seemed to come from Mouth’s chamber, the last one in the corridor. They warily walked to the door, and when they all were grouped before it Eowyn and Faramir stood before the others. Yet another wail came from behind the door and Faramir kicked it open without further ceremony. The sight that greeted them was surprising.

There were no Nazgûl in the room, only Mouth of Sauron, who stood in the middle of the chamber, his mouth gaping with astonishment. What was strange was that he was holding a violin in his hands, still poised for playing. Although not exactly knowing what she should think or say, Eowyn exclaimed:

“Whatever evil you are doing, stop it now, or you will feel cold steel!”

Mouth of Sauron lowered the violin and asked, still surprised and not a little annoyed:

“Evil? What do you mean? As much as I would like to hurt you, now I am only practising my violin!”

Eowyn was dumbstruck:

“You – what?”

Mouth raised his hands a little, showing the instrument and the bow. He had regained some of his composure and said with a sneer:

“My violin. You know, this thing that lets out sounds. You spoiled my concentration. A pity, since I was doing exquisitely this morning.”

Kraut broke in:

“You seriously call that music? Who taught you to play? Whoever that was he stole your money.”

Mouth answered:

“I should have known you understand nothing about art. I was playing a masterpiece of late Mordorian era, ‘Wraith’s Lullaby’. But well, if that doesn’t satisfy you, how about ‘The Ballad of Azog the Killer’?”

Without waiting an answer he started to play a harsh melody, if melody it could be called. It sounded more like the howling of wolves and cries of Orcs rolled into one. The matter was not improved by Mouth’s singing, which he did with great gusto. His voice was as evil as ever, and the Black Speech words made the others shiver as they dropped from his lips, hard and unlovely. Faramir couldn’t stand it, but snatched the bow from Mouth’s hand, saying:

“That’s quite enough for now, thank you very much. But why are you playing here, since there is a music room in this castle. There you wouldn’t irritate – err, I meant to say that there you could practice in peace, without us being in your way.”

Mouth seemed delighted:

“Really? Seems I should have explored this place more carefully. For once I must admit you have a good idea, princeling.”

He set the violin into its case and snapped the locks closed, saying:

“Very well, I will go to play for some time. I’ll be in the library at noon.” He flashed a sneering smile:
“Don’t miss me too much.”

The others gave way and Mouth walked between them, keenly glancing at Kraut and Kätchen. When they drew back, he chuckled coldly and disappeared behind the corner. Pippin wiped his forehead and said sarcastically:

“A nice chap, isn’t he?”

Kätchen replied:

“Yeah, very. But who would have guessed he’d have an interest in art. Or, well, kind of art. That was worse than Hindemith and Schönberg combined!”

All shook their heads and headed for the dining hall to get some breakfast.

------

At noon they sat once again in their customary chairs. Today Mouth was not so morose, he even hummed strange tunes and smiled. Kraut whispered to Kätchen:

“Well, I don’t care if his music is horrible, if it affects him so. He’s not so frightening now.”

She replied:

“Yup. At least he’s not bullying us… Hush, the story starts!”

The screen indeed lit up and words appeared on it.


------

2: Into the Woods
A/N: Chapter two! My muse likes me!

Kraut: Shelly, you really should ask from unemployment office if they could get you a new muse.
Kätchen: Yep, the present one has obviously forged her diploma.


This is after the company had been in Lorien for awhile and that is why they are not as sad as they were in the movie. In the book they were there for I think a month or two.

Faramir: Hallelujah! There’s something even about right!

Zycker-I will explain the name in this chapter.
Disclaimer: I own nada except Leiawyn!

Eowyn: Thank Eru!
Mouth: Yeah, you can keep her.


Leiawyn had stopped to rest with the other elves,

Pippin: Wait a minute! Now she’s suddenly an Elf?
Kraut: Oh no, not again! Why must every Sue do this?


in a landing up in the trees. The woods were just breath taking, and Leiawyn thought she could stay there forever.

Eowyn: Please do. So you don’t bother Rohan or Gondor anymore.
Mouth: I hope ‘forever’ means she ends up in a grave.


Alatus had to stay on the ground alone.

Kraut: Oh, no, it didn’t. It had Svaebicus, Jazygicus and Batavicus for company.

He was upset and kicked the ground

Kätchen (as Alatus): Shit! Now the Sue is out of my reach! I want to kick her skull in two.

until Haldir spoke to him in elvish and he took off to explore the woods. Leiawyn was quietly eating an apple when Haldir sat across from her.
"Alatus will be in the woods until you need him."

Faramir (as Alatus): You think so, Haldir? No way, I’m going to run to Harad if it takes that to get rid of Leiawyn!

He explained as he looked at the woman before him. She was a woman that much Haldir could tell,

Eowyn (deadpan): Haldir really is a genius!

but she still seemed so young and innocent. Her blue eyes held pain that no one twice her age should have to endure.

Pippin: But which someone of her age should?

“What burdens you?”

Kraut (as Leiawyn): The generic tragic background story, of course.

"What do you mean?" She wrapped the apple up and placed it back in her bag.

Kätchen (sarcastically): ‘cause all know that you can’t eat an apple at one go. You won’t want to get fat.
Faramir: No wonder she was hungry during her journey.


“You carry memories that are filled with pain and loss. I can tell by the light you give off.” Haldir saw her eyes drop and the light about her faded even more

Kraut: As her batteries slowly emptied.

“I have lost many of those I love. I have no family except a brother who I fear will die soon. He is a Ranger like my father was and I know it will cost him his life.

Faramir: Not necessarily. At least I am alive, am I not?
Pippin (clearing her throat): That was a close shave, however.
Faramir: If I were you I wouldn’t say anything, Master Troll-Slayer.


All I have left is Strider, he has been in and out of my life since I was born.

Kätchen: Seems Aragorn hadn’t anything better to do than hang around an annoying girl.
Mouth: Well, I always said he was fit for nothing, didn’t I?


He would travel with my father‘s company of Rangers every now and then. How long until we reach him?" Her eyes were pleading and Haldir could tell she need to see him to prove to herself she wasn’t alone.

Eowyn: Too bad. Leiawyn, you have a severe case of intimacy addiction and inability to cope on your own.

"We must rest tonight. Tomorrow we should reach the city by night fall. Rest now my lady, and sleep in peace."

Mouth (darkly): Or in pieces. In the belly of my Orcs.
The others (exchange worried glances.)


Haldir stood up and walked over to the other three elves speaking to them in elvish.

Kraut (deadpan): Actually they spoke in Spanish.

Leiawyn let out a yawn, then pulled out her blanket and laid down. Soon she was drifting into a peaceful sleep, surrounded by the beauty of the woods..
At first light they set out once more. As they walked Haldir tried to explain to Leiawyn more of the elven culture. Strider had tried before, but Leiawyn was more interested in learning to use her sword.

Kätchen: What is it with these Sues that no one of them ever wants to improve their minds?
Pippin: What mind?
Kätchen: Confound me, you’re right.


He had spent much of his time with her family teaching her.

Mouth: Hmm, maybe we should have concentrated more on Eriador, if even the chief of Rangers had this much time to waste. Too bad it’s too late now.

She was good now,

All: Of COURSE she was!
Faramir: Wherever a Sue is, there also is a sword.
Eowyn: And mad skillz.


and could handle simple hand-to-hand combat, but still had much to learn.

Pippin: For example, to choose proper clothes for fighting and journeying.

Leiawyn knew that if she had to fight for her life she would probably fail, as that was the case when it came to her family.

Kraut: Leiawyn, I have news for you: Violent death is not hereditary.

Darkness had begun to set in when a beautiful and awe inspiring city

Faramir: Also known as Caras Galadhon.
Mouth (snorts): Awe-inspiring? Shows you have never beheld Barad-dûr.


appeared in front of Leiawyn. She just stood there taking every last detail in as if the city had cast a spell on her.

Eowyn: More likely the White Lady had paralysed her, not wanting to sully her beautiful home with her presence.

Haldir let her gaze at it a little longer, for the city captivated most people, then gently pulled her arm to make her walk on. They walked to a clearing among the buildings, which were really huge trees with housing structures,

Pippin: Telain, Shelly, telain. Singular talan.

and there sat Strider with the man Boromir who she had seen every now and then when she ventured farther into Minas Tirith.

Faramir (sarcastically): How smart of you to recognize her, Leiawyn, especially when he’s only the heir of Steward!

"Strider!" A huge smile spread across her face as she walked to him.

Pippin: Aragorn, for his part, looked annoyed and embarrassed.

He looked at her amazed then stood up and hugged her. Leiawyn almost cried at the simple gesture, for it had been a long time since she was held by someone she loved.
"Please call me Aragorn, for my secret is out.

Kätchen (dryly): Such a secret it was if he had told it even to a random girl.

How can this be? What are you doing here?"

Kraut (as Leiawyn): Destroying canon and annoying all the readers.

Aragorn pulled away and looked at her closely. The smile left her face as Leiawyn remembered

Mouth: That she didn’t exist. She then disappeared in a sudden lightning.
Eowyn: For once I must say I like your comment.


what had brought her here in the first place. She bent down and reached into her bag pulling out her father's cloak, which contained his sword. Handing the bundle to Aragorn, she felt a weight lift from her shoulders.

Pippin: Now that was a heavy sword.

She had completed what she set out to do, and she did it alone.
"I'm am sad to say that my visit is not of good nature." Leiawyn started to explain as Aragorn unwrapped the sword. His face went ridged when he saw the blade caked in dried blood.
"So he has passed. I had hoped that this would not happen for many years. From the dried blood on the blade I assume it was in battle."

Eowyn (as Leiawyn): Actually, he tried to shave with it. I had warned him, but did he listen? No.

Leiawyn nodded as she remember the cause of her father’s death." I am sorry you had to go through this so young.”

Faramir: Young or old, losing a father is not a piece of cake.

Aragorn placed a hand on her shoulder and led her to where the others were. “Come sit with us and let me introduce you to my fellow travelers."
Leiawyn sat down as Aragorn introduced her to Legolas the elf, Gimli the dwarf, and Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin the hobbits. Then to Boromir upon hearing her name a twinkle came in his eyes.

Kraut (as Boromir): Oh no! I feel my evil-rapist-mode kicking in! Must… resist…

"Leiawyn? I have seen you in the city before. You are friends with Lou, are you not?"

Kraut: There’s so many things wrong in that I can’t list them all.
Faramir: That’s not Boromir! He would have said something like: “Leiawyn, what news from Gondor? Tell me, maid, how fares our fair city? Does it still stand against our foes?” But this… impostor only asks about a wench with loose morals.


Leiawyn nodded as she remembered that Boromir and Lou had been close before he left months ago.

Eowyn: I should have seen that coming.
Pippin: Yep, I was wondering why Lou was in the story in the first place.


"How is she?"
"Good my Lord. She speaks of you often. For I fear you left a rather large impression on her" Which is true but not in the most loving ways, for when Boromir ended their relationship to set out for Rivendell Lou had been heart broken.

Faramir (grinning): If my brother had a fling with a girl like Lou I can see why he was so intent on going.

A smile spread across his face as he remembered his affair with Lou.

Mouth (as Boromir): Now that was a tasty wench! Stupid like a brick, but what boobs!
Faramir: Only our father taught us very strict morals. And Boromir wasn’t even interested in women. How hard can that be to grasp? I’m getting tired of repeating this.


"So when do I head back? I have to tend to the land

Pippin: Wow, the Sue actually thinks of work! Draw a cross on the wall.

and maybe see if I can find out where my brother is." Leiawyn asked turning to Aragorn. She noticed a worried look come over his dark features.
"I know not. For things are very different now and I'm surprised you made it here unchallenged.

Kätchen: So are we, Aragorn, so are we.

I would like to know how that happened.

Mouth: Because even the Orcs wouldn’t touch anything that vile. Even they have some dignity.

I do believe that you should stay with us. Boromir plans to go back to Minas Tirith soon and he can escort you back."

Eowyn (as Boromir): Gee, thanks a lot, Aragorn!

"I can go on my own! I made it here just fine."

Pippin: “The Sue Insists That She Is An Independent and Strong Woman”, part one million and six.

Leiawyn was ready to see her home and make sure it and that Lou was ok. She had never been this far from home for so long and she was worried that something may happen to it.

Kraut: Seeing the state of things that’s pretty probable.

Things were changing and the city was always being attacked.
"I'm afraid that is not possible, my lady. It is too dangerous now. Not even ones of great power can travel safely. I agree with Aragorn, you should stay with us until Boromir sets out for the land of Gondor." Legolas spoke up and placed his hand on her shoulder to calm her down.
"What is going on? Why is everything so different? What happened?" Leiawyn asked looking around.

Mouth (deadpan): Nothing very special, miss. Only a gigantic war is being waged and your city is about to fall in Sauron’s hands. It’s not surprising you haven’t noticed.

Aragorn stepped forward and took her hand.
"Come with me, my dear girl. I will try my hardest to tell you what you wish to know."

Faramir (as Aragorn, sighing): Oh my, this is going to be hard with her intelligence.
Eowyn:… Or lack thereof.


He walked her off to a small clearing and they sat down. Then he began to tell his tale thus far. She knew he was only telling her the basics and was leaving out a very important thing. What was the point of the quest?

Pippin: Don’t worry, dearie, it will become obvious to you in almost no time.

Leiawyn took in everything and finally began to understand the change in the people and land. A great war was building over something and somehow she had managed to walk into the middle of it!

Faramir (taring his hair): Arrghh!
Eowyn: What?
Faramir (seething): There couldn’t possibly be anyone that stupid in Gondor! She realizes only now there’s a war against our land?! Oh my Eru! It had already been waged for sixty bloody years!
Eowyn: Calm down, my love, calm down. Mind your blood pressure.
Faramir (checking himself, breathing deeply): Very well, it passed already.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kätchen (hesitating): Umm, Mister Mouthy?
Mouth (curtly): Yes?
Kätchen: Can you play ‘On the Blue, Beautiful Danube’?
Mouth: No, but I can always try.


*Ok please review and let me know your thoughts.

Pippin: Shelly, are you sure you want to hear them?

I hope to write another chapter later today.

Kraut: Threatening is not nice, miss.
(All exit.)
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

3: Ending Up With Orcs

Faramir: Sounds good.
Mouth: Truly.


A/N: Next chapter!

All (flatly): Yay.

This is A/U and Leiawyn is a Mary Sue. It will follow the plot of the movie. Also this story is HOT!

Eowyn: No, it’s not.

It gets flamed every time I turn around!

Eowyn: Oh, that was what you meant?
Kötchen (dryly): If it gets so much flames, Shelly, shouldn’t you consider some improvements?


If anyone has a problem with this story flame me, then stop reading it.

Pippin: I wish we could…

The more I get flamed the more I want to write!

Kraut (with mock concern): Shelly, are you really a masochist?

Joan Milligan: It didn't hurt and I won't bite you. Actually you are my first flame ever so I want to say thank you. I got a flame! Hehe!

Kätchen: Well, I guess that’s one way to react. The sensible way, however, would be actually to listen what you are told.

Alas, I don't plan on writing a REAL STORY.

Faramir (grimaces): Her honesty can be painful.

Yes, Leiawyn is most likely going to be a Mary Sue I accept that.

Pippin (mutters): But we don’t.

However, I don't know for sure if she will latch onto Eomer and suck him dry.

Eowyn: You don’t know? But you are the author of this abomination!
Mouth (thoughtfully): So Thuringwethil and the Sues are related. Hmmm…


We'll have to wait and see. I love LOTR the *BOOKS*, but I'm not Tolkien, I can't write like him

Kraut: In that, you are absolutely right. For once.

and I'm not going to even try to.

Kätchen: What happened to artistic ambition? Not that Shelly could ever come even close to the old professor, but still.

I will make up names I want regardless of if they are what would be found in Middle Earth.

Kraut: So you are pigheaded, stupid and too lazy to do any research. Just face it.

Aragorn has been in Leiawyn's life since she was born so he would trust her with anything.

Faramir: Come on, who you are trying to cheat? He had to conceal secrets that concerned the fate of two realms and from 3001 on of the whole world!

He taught her to use her sword every time he came to visit, so teaching someone for an hour every couple months is not hard to do, even for him.

Eowyn: I guess that’s a valid point but with that amount of training you’ll never be even as good swordsman as the Sue is supposed to be.
Faramir: Actually that statement would mean Aragorn had no time for anything but travelling to and fro for those lessons. It’s a long way from Rivendell to Gondor.
Eowyn: All right, it was NOT a valid point.


No she will not save Eomer. I have other things in mind and I'm too lazy for proper punctuation.

Mouth: Then you should not write at all. Case closed, dumbass.

Oh and about the whole Eomer's wife thing I did mention this is slight A/U

Pippin: Slight? In fact, I even doubt the story really is about Middle-Earth.
Eowyn (sighs): It’s good that Lothiriel isn’t here to see this.


and will bend things to my will. I happen to like my plot, don't give a flying fig about canon,

All (stare.)
Kraut (exasperated): Why the hell are you then writing fan fiction? FAN fiction, moron!
Kätchen: Mein Gott, I have never seen so arrogant an attitude. Beware, Shelly, who talks shit has also to be able to take it.
Mouth: Except me.


and I'm selfish so I will keep it. I am also a fan of the BOOKS.

Kraut: Why are you then following the movies?

Just because the movie brought Eomer to my attention more then the books did the first couple times around, does not mean I am not a fan of the books.

Mouth (as Shelly, girly voice): No, I am not a deluded and smug fanbrat! I am not! Seriously!
Pippin (with a sideways glance): Mouthy, it’s disturbing how evil you sounded even with that voice.
Mouth (smugly): That’s my talent.


I'm not going to get real and I'm not going to stop.

All (groan.)

My advise to you is that, as far as I know, there is no rule that says a person HAS to read a story

Faramir: Too bad we are under such a rule.

if you don't like mine don't read it. I have stopped read several I didn't like. ~Sorry for everyone else having to read this~
Welsh-dragoon: Thank you! I have seen more Eomer stories popping up so hopefully it will change and he will be added to the list.
The Black Lady of Rohan: Ditto to what was said to Joan Milligan. Damn straight Karl Urban is cute,

Kraut: Huh? Well, I know I’m not the right person to assess that, being male and all, but he’s not exactly cute.

but his performance of Eomer brought the character to my attention fully.

Kätchen: Really? I didn’t like the movie version of Eomer half as much as that of the books.

I can say he is my favorite character if I want to, and he is my favorite, so get over that.

Faramir (shrugs): Fair enough, I suppose.

Agent Orange: I like my mixed Strider/Aragorn name! Read my response to Joan Milligan on the whole name thing. I HATE Star Wars thank you very much!

Kraut: Then why did you steal the name of Leia for your annoying Sue?

(No offence to Star Wars fans! It just isn't my cup of tea) Yes, she is a Mary Sue and I think she is a good one!

Kätchen: How deluded can one get?

Tara: I hope to get to him in this chapter and the next.
Rachel: I'm soooooo glad you like it! It is people like you that help me to piss on the flamers and put them out!

Pippin: Isn’t that kind of… perverted?

Disclaimer: I own only Leiawyn, my very own Mary Sue!

Eowyn (scoffing): As if anyone else wanted her.

Leiawyn had been in Lothlorien for two weeks when the Fellowship decided it was time to be on their way. They knew they had a long and dangerous road ahead of them and were ready to face whatever lies in their futures. Lady Galadriel was giving her blessing to the group and delivering each person with a farewell gift. Finally she stopped before Leiawyn and looked at her with kind eyes.

Kätchen (as Galadriel): I hate to say this, Leiawyn, but we have nothing for you… Except a pair of shoes.

"My dear child, this is not a quest you were to partake in.

Faramir: Damn straight!

However, fate seems to have other plans for you. Know this, there is always hope. You may not feel it, but hope is always there.

Eowyn (sarcastically): Please, Shelly, write some more meaningless philosophizing. That makes you to seem so much smarter.

Now I give you this." She placed a small blue gemstone around Leiawyn's neck.

Mouth: What is this craze of Galadriel’s? The Elf-Witch seems to give away those pieces of glass like they were candy.
Faramir: Didn’t you know? Every Sue has to get a necklace from Galadriel since that’s lyke totally so kewl and gr8t lolz!
Eowyn (worriedly): I must ask Deusexmachina if you could take a break from reading these…


"This necklace shall protect you, even from things you do not know you need protecting from."

Kraut: I hope that means it acts as a contraceptive. It’s bad enough she’s going to meet Eomer, we don’t need to read about her procreating.
Kätchen: Amen.


Leiawyn thanked Lady Galadriel, holding the beautiful stone between her fingers, and carefully got into the boat with Legolas and Gimli.
"So do you like boats?" Legolas asked as they paddled into the main current of the river.
"Not really, no. When I was seven a boat I was riding in capsized and I was trapped underwater. My father managed to turn it upright,

Mouth: Be cursed, unnamed father!

but now I fear boats." Leiawyn held onto the sides of the boat tightly.

Pippin: That’s sensible. Is she sure she isn’t a hobbit?

The current was strong and Leiawyn was a poor swimmer.
"Fear not, my lady. I know for a fact the elf will not capsize us. If he does he will have a very angry, wet dwarf to deal with!" Gimli reassured her.
"Well then! For fear of an angry, wet dwarf, thought that would be a grand sight,

(Snickers.)
Eowyn: Hey, I actually like that line!


I will not do anything that can result in capsizing." Legolas informed the two occupants of the boat. Leiawyn laughed and eased up on her grip on the sides. Though she continued to hang on.

Mouth:.. a hemp rope.

After a day of traveling down river, they pulled to the shore where they could hide from view and set up camp. After eating a hot meal, and sharing in some tales about the Shire with the hobbits, Leiawyn bid everyone goodnight and went to sleep on her blanket in the corner of camp.
~Leiawyn's dream~

Kätchen (sighs): Yet another author who thinks that is smooth.

She was running through the woods to the sound of the battle ahead. Branches scratched her legs and arms, drawing blood.

Faramir: That’s because you run around in a ball gown. A stupid head makes the whole body suffer.

She pressed on, her father was in the fight and she heard the Rangers were heavily out numbered by orcs.

Kraut: So, business as usual.

Finally she broke through the trees to the clearing where the battle was taking place, and froze in horror at what she saw. Orcs were everywhere, at least a hundred. Many laid dead or dying on the ground, in pools of black blood. More were still fighting the Rangers. Looking around she saw that four Rangers lay dead on ground.
While Leiawyn tried to see if one of the four was her father, an orc attacked her from behind.

Pippin (cheerily): Go, random Orc, go!

They fell to the ground and Leiawyn struggled to get out from under the orc.

Mouth (waves a banner that reads ‘Mordor Wrestling Team: Champions of Middle-Earth 3018 T.A.)

It sneered as he raised his weapon to kill her. Leiawyn reached for an orc sword laying next to her. She grasped the handle and lifted the sword, swinging, cleanly removing the orcs head.

Eowyn: ‘Clean’ is not exactly the word I would use.

Foul, black blood filled her mouth and she rolled over gagging. Once she felt her stomach was empty,

Kätchen: As empty as her head?

she struggled to her feet and turned to the battle. Standing before her, blocking her path, was her father.
"Father! Your ok!"

Faramir (as the father): My what?

Leiawyn stepped forward. He was about to say something, when a sword pierced his chest from behind. The tip of the blade extended far enough that it stabbed Leiawyn in the chest also.

Mouth (dreamily): I wish it was I who held the blade. It’s ages since I killed somebody.

Crying out in pain and anger, she watched the light leave her father's eyes as he fell.
"FATHER!"
~ End Dream~
"Father!" Leiawyn cried out as she woke up from the nightmare. Her dress clung to her sweaty body and her heart raced.

Eowyn (as a sports commentator): During this last lap of 5000 metres race, Leiawyn’s heart is hard pressed, but it still keeps its lead! Can it really beat its competitors? Ladies and gentlemen, this is the sports event of century!

She sat up and rubbed the scar on her chest.

Pippin (baffled): She actually got wounded? But it was only a dream?
Kraut: Maybe Freddy Krueger decided to visit Middle-Earth for a change.


It was throbbing in pain.
"Are you ok?! What is wrong?" Aragorn was at her side in a second demanding to know. Legolas and Boromir came running up next with Gimli lagging behind. The four hobbits watched from a distance.

Pippin: Because as sensible persons we didn’t bother to care much of the nightmare of a random girl.

"Nothing. I am fine, just a bad dream. Everyone go back to sleep." Aragorn grabbed her hand and moved it to look at the scar.

Kätchen: But it was in her chest? Wow, her dress surely has a neckline straight from the red light district.

He gave her a questioning look, and she sighed then told him of her father's death. He listened silently to the entire tale, as did the others.

Faramir: If we could hear it, too, we might care even a bit.

When she had finished he stroked her cheek then told her to sleep. Legolas promised to stay near her and if she looked like she was having another nightmare he would wake her up.

Kraut (as Legolas): There’s no playing around with Freddy, after all.

After everyone but Legolas left Leiawyn drifted into an restless sleep.
A few days later, after many miles traveling down river, the group had come to the lawn of Parth Galen and decided to set up camp there. Leiawyn was resting on a rock by the river, watching the water, when she heard Aragorn ask where Frodo was.

Pippin: Strider sure has a short memory, since it was less than an hour ago than Frodo had asked for some time alone.

Hopping off the rock, she joined the others to see what was wrong. The group decided to search for Frodo and Boromir who were both missing. Aragorn told Leiawyn to stay with Merry and Pippin and keep alert. He did not know for sure what lurked in the woods, but Legolas did not trust them. As she walked with the two hobbits, Leiawyn became more unnerved. She could handle a sword well, but not great.

Eowyn: With that amount of training I guess even the hobbits were better swordsmen.
Pippin: Hey, we are maybe short but we hit hard!


Here she was, responsible for two hobbits, and if anything attacked she was unsure of what to do.

Kätchen: Very easy. Use your bloody sword!

She didn’t even think she could protect herself.

Mouth (smiling): I hope not.

Then she heard it, the battle cries of orcs. She was drew her sword and told Merry and Pippin to run. At least if they ran they stood a chance of surviving.
The two hobbits paused then ran deeper into the woods, and Leiawyn stood to face the orcs as they came spilling over the hill, giving off bone chilling cries. The second they got close enough she started to swing. She was unsure of where the hobbits were, praying they were ok, she kept fighting. Leiawyn was stabbing one orc when another orc slashed her leg.

Faramir (sighing disappointedly): Why do the Orcs always aim so low in badfics? (Turning towards Mouth) Was your training programme really this bad?
Mouth: Not in the least. Learn or die, that was our pedagogic motto.

She fell on the ground as pain shot through her. A large orc was standing over her with his sword raised, when suddenly Boromir came out of the trees and hewed the orc with his sword. Leiawyn managed to stand on her good leg and was helping Boromir

All (picture the image of Leiawyn hopping on one leg and fighting. Laughter.)

when an arrow pierced his chest. Leiawyn froze as she watched the brave, strong captain of her city fall. She didn’t hear the large orc come up behind her.

Eowyn: Yep, not any Orc, but THE large Orc.

He wrapped his arms around her knocking her sword down.

Mouth: That is no Orc! What an idiot, he should have backstabbed her. (Frowning) Too bad I can’t lay my hands on that incompetent moron.

She tried to squeeze out of his grasp when everything went dark. The last thing she saw was Boromir dying.
***********************************************************************

Kraut (singing): High up in the sky the little stars climb, Always reminding me that we’re apart…

As Leiawyn opened her eyes, she wondered 'Where am I?'.

Kätchen: In Hell! Mwahahaha!
Faramir: Wow, you sure hate her!


She didn't know how long she had been passed out and had no clue as to where she was. Trying to move she realized her hands and feet were bound tightly in rope and she had a gag in her mouth.

Pippin: Nice.

Sitting up she felt the world tilt and got dizzy, the blow to her head from earlier still giving her problems.

Mouth: In addition to your inborn problems in the head?

Taking a few deep breaths she steadied herself and looked around. 'Orcs! I'm with orcs!' She was sitting on the edge of a large camp of orcs!

Eowyn: We get it now, Shelly. You can move on.

She tried to back away, ignoring the pain that danced evilly in her leg,

Kätchen (hums a tango melody.)

when she bumped into something.
"They said we can't eat the little ones, but how about you? You look nice and tasty."

Faramir: Are you sure you want to get a food poisoning?

Leiawyn looked up at the orc blocking her escape and shivered. "No one is looking I will just have a bite."

Mouth (approvingly): Now that’s the way of it!

He reached down to grab her arm, when a spear struck him in the head, killing him instantly.

Mouth (cursing obscenely): Just when I thought this would get enjoyable!

Leiawyn tried to scream through the gag as men on horses attacked the band of orc. If she didn’t get away they would kill her too.

Kraut: And that would make my day.

In the panic that ensued, she tried to untie her hands on the small knife that hung from the dead orc, when a horse rode by and the rider picked her up. He pulled her in front of him and rode to the edge of the battle. Leiawyn struggled to get away terrified of what these men would do to her.

Mouth (excitedly): Kill her! Slowly and painfully.
Pippin: Hey, slow down! You are almost drooling.


The man behind her held onto her tightly. After another couple of minutes of chaos, the fighting seemed to have stopped. Looking around Leiawyn saw the riders were starting to pile up the bodies of the orcs to burn. The rider she was with stopped his horse in front of another rider. This new rider looked even more threatening than the orcs.

Faramir: Seriously? These aren’t Rohirrim? (glances at Mouth.)
Mouth: What? I was nowhere near the spot at the moment!


"Lord Eomer.

Eowyn (frowning): Shelly, watch it. Eomer is not worse than Orcs!

I found this girl being attacked by an Orc. She is bleeding and needs aid." Leiawyn's rider inform the tall, fierce looking man on the other horse.
"How did you see her? It was dark."

Pippin (as the rider): Don’t you see her clothes? She is about as inconspicuous as an Orc in Elvish wedding.

Eomer asked suspiciously as he looked at Leiawyn carefully. Noticing the dark, dried blood that mixed with mud, and fresher bright red blood covering her right leg.
"Well.. Lord she glowed." The rider said quietly almost afraid.

Kraut (as the rider): That’s spooky!

"She glowed? What do you mean by glow?"

Faramir (as the rider): A glow: The steady giving off of the form of radiation that makes vision possible. Any other questions, my lord?
Eowyn (as Eomer, muttering): Smartass.


Eomer asked locking eyes with Leiawyn. She could tell he did not trust her

Kätchen: Which was extremely wise.

and her proof was his hand resting on the hilt of his sword.

Mouth: Further corroborated by his drawing it and stabbing her.

"Her necklace, my lord. It glowed and I was able to tell what she was."

Eowyn: A disgusting Sue, you mean?

Her rider answered slowly. Acting as if Eomer would not believe such a tale.

Kraut: Which was quite probable considering all the circumstances.

Leiawyn held her breath. 'Please believe this tale. Otherwise I am sure to die.' She prayed.
"That is hard to believe my friend. However, she is hurt. Take her back to the camp and see that she is tended to. Keep an eye on her and don't let her leave. There are many questions I have for her."

Mouth (as Eomer): Before I hang her for spying.

He reached out and gently fingered her necklace. Leiawyn felt a tingle race through her body at his touch.

Kätchen: He was electrically charged?

"A necklace that glows my lady? What is a young woman like you doing being held captive by orcs?

Faramir (as Leiawyn): What do you think? Having picnic, of course!

That is a fine puzzle, but I intend to put it together."
He said something to the rider in a language Leiawyn did not understand, and then turned to tend to the burning of the orcs. Leiawyn's rider rode off fast into the deep night and she glanced over her shoulder at Eomer once more. 'I have many questions for you too' she thought as he slipped farther and farther away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kraut (singing): Through thunder and storms, from distant seas I draw near, my lass! Through towering waves, from the south I am here, my lass!
Kätchen (a bit boredly): Yeah, yeah, I know you like Wagner.


A/N: Bring on the flames! hopefully a few nice people will review also!

Faramir: This story can turn even the nicest person to a mean bastard.
Eowyn: True.
(All exit.)


"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

A/N: On with the show.

All (grimace.)

Remember, A/U people!
Shy: Thank you for realizing it is A/U. I'm pleased you like it and will try to update often.

Faramir (groans.)

I think there are to few Eomer stories also. Eomer is an amazing character and Karl Urban brought him to life perfectly!

Kraut: Again, I must differ. But there’s no accounting of tastes.

Anon: I don't think it is that hard to follow I explained the names, and don't want to research for proper Tolkien names.

Kätchen: Again, why not? Because you are too lazy or because you want to annoy your reviewers? Either way, it’s childish.

As for him marrying Lothiriel, I am aware but for like the tenth time this is slight A/U and I will bend things to my will. If by the "Holy Trilogy" you mean the three LOTR books, I do own them and have read them.

Eowyn: But obviously learnt nothing from them.

However I will write the story how I see fit to fill my desires.
Rachel: I'm glad you liked the necklace.

Kraut (laughing): Oh, yeah, we almost forgot the necklace. How clever of Galadriel to put a LED light inside it!

I had to write Eomer into the last chapter, even if just for a small part, to make you happy. This chapter has more of him enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own only Leiawyn, my Mary Sue!
After leaving the Orc battle the rider had cut Leiawyn's hands and legs free and removed her gag. Leiawyn knew he untied her because he could sense the fear she had of him.

Pippin: How about the fact he had no reason not to untie you? I doubt the Rohirrim enjoy dragging tied and gagged people with them.

Leiawyn and the Rider had been riding for two hours in tense silence when they reached the camp. Looking around she saw what had to be a thousand or more men and horses milling about. Their horse stopped in front of a large tent. Leiawyn's rider dismounted and then lifted her off the horse. He carried her into the tent and placed her gently on a wooden table. Reaching down, he picked up a length of rope from the ground and began to tie her hands to the table.

Kraut: Come on, Rider! Decide whether you want her to be bound or not.

"What are you doing?!" Leiawyn demanded pulling away. She wonder what she did to make him not trust her.

Kätchen: Oh, you just are a complete stranger in strange clothes, found in the company of Orcs. Plus they are in the middle of a war. I think that about sums up your question.

"I'm sorry my lady, but I have to find the healer and I can't risk you running." He finished tying her to the table, her binds were secure but not to tight, and turned to leave.
"Running! How can I run on this leg?" Leiawyn shouted

Faramir (as the rider): You are a Sue. You can do anything that is impossible.

but the rider had already left.
Leiawyn looked around the tent. It was a plain tent but held many bottles of plants and liquids she didn’t recognize.

Eowyn: Never mind that as a peasant she should know quite a few herbs and their uses.
Pippin (gravely): Logic, rest in peace. You are missed.


Suddenly realized that she must be in the land of Rohan,

Mouth (impatiently): Where else, twit? Don’t blond, tall riders ring any bells, huh?
Kraut: Not to mention one would think that as a Gondorian she should know the Rohirrim are their neighbours.


she had seen the riders before in Gondor, and knew they were great horsemen. Another ten minutes past and she was starting to worry, when an older man entered the tent.
"Hello. I am the healer. Let’s have a look at that leg my dear." He lifted her dress a little and looked at the gash. He placed a bowl of green liquid

Kätchen: Oh, hopefully it’s poison.

next to Leiawyn and dipped a cloth into the contents. Slowly he began to clean the wound, his fingers cold on her bare skin. Tears sprang to Leiawyn's eyes and she sucked in her breath. It felt like the healer was cleaning her leg with fire.

Mouth: Well, if burning wounds close is good enough for Orcs, it should be good enough for you, miss.

"Oh yes. It does tend to sting a little." The healer informed her when she flinched. Once he was satisfied with his work, he stopped and wrapped a bandage around her leg.

Faramir: What a waste of good medical supplies…

"Should be fully healed in a day or two."

Eowyn (laughing, sarcastically): Wow, what a grave wound indeed!
Kraut: I begin to think that a Mickey Mouse plaster would have been enough for that scratch.


"Thank you. What is your name?" Leiawyn asked noticing how her leg didn't hurt anymore. The healer shook his head.

Kätchen (as the healer): Mommy told me not to tell my name to strangers.

"I am to take you to the Marshal's tent. No one but he is to talk to you." He untied her hands and helped her to stand, and Leiawyn realized she could with little discomfort.

Pippin: I want to know the recipe of that paste he used.

Leaving the tent, she followed the healer to a larger tent set in the center of camp. "Here is where you will stay until Eomer returns. I had a Rider leave one of his wives dresses for you to change into.

Eowyn (surprised): But… the riders didn’t drag their wives with them? That would have been a hindrance.
Mouth (smirking): Seems someone is into cross-dressing.


Also, don't try to leave, the exit is guarded." With that he said good bye and left.
Leiawyn saw the dress laying on the cot that was against the wall. It was simple and gray

Faramir (as Leiawyn): But that’s not cool! I possibly can’t don it!

but it was a full, clean dress.

Eowyn: And thus, infinitely more useful and practical than your ball gown, miss Sue.

Leiawyn eagerly removed her bloody, torn dress and slipped on the clean one. It was a little big on her but was very comfortable. After a quick search, she found a basin of water and cleaned herself up a little.

Pippin: I think she should have done that before dressing.

'What I would give for a hot bath.' After freshening up, she laid down on the small cot and stared at the cloth roof of the tent.. It was midday but to her tired, injured body, it felt like it was midnight. Slowly her eyes closed and she fell in to a dreamless sleep.
***********************************************************************

Kraut (singing): There thou shinest, oh loveliest of stars! Thy sweet light thou dost send into the far-off distance, thy dear beam pierces the evening twilight…
Kätchen: Still not given up the hope to sing in Tannhäuser, are you?
Kraut: A man has to have dreams
.

Leiawyn awoke to a man sitting in the chair across from the cot, her watching her sleep. Her mind raced and she sat up reaching for her sword. When it wasn‘t near her she realized the orcs must have taken it.

Pippin (sarcastically): Not at all, of course they let you keep a weapon!

Then all the memories from the day before came flooding back and she knew she was in the Rider’s camp.
"I hope you are not trying to find your sword to kill me.

Mouth (as Eomer): Because that would compel me to kill you. (In undertone) I only wait you to give me a reason…

Leiawyn." He leaned into the candle light since it was now night fall, and Leiawyn saw it was the man from the orc battle, Eomer.
"How do you know my name? I have not given it to you."

Kraut (as Eomer): If you wish to conceal it, you really shouldn’t carry your ID card in your wallet.

She looked around for a weapon of some sort to defend herself. The Riders had been nice to her so far, but now she was alone with a man who could easily over power her.

Eowyn (exasperated): Men of Mark are not rapists, and as a Gondorian you should know it!

"No you did not, Aragorn did." He watched her eyes widen, and knew what she was thinking.

Pippin (as Leiawyn, stupid voice): Duh-huh, what was I thinking again? Oh, how cruel and terrifying the Rohirrim are, contrary to all evidence.

"Yes, I met him along with Legolas and Gimli. They were in search of you and two hobbits who had been taken captive by orcs. I informed him that we had found you injured and were taking you to be looked after at our camp.”

Kätchen (as Eomer): Strangely enough, they gave high fives to each other and leaped to air when they heard they wouldn’t see you again.

His voice softened. ” We do not know the fate of the hobbits and fear they have perished. When we left Aragorn said to tell you to behave and that you are in my care until I can deliver you to him. He and the others went on to look for the hobbits."
Leiawyn stood up and tried to pace the best she could with her injured leg. Merry and Pippin were missing, and Leiawyn felt that the orcs probably killed them.

Faramir: Leiawyn, you should see a healer because of that short-term memory of yours. It was only in the last chapter an Orc said they were not allowed to harm the hobbits.

If they were still alive what hope did they have alone?

Pippin: Oh, in any case better than with you.

She did not notice that Eomer rose also, until he walked to her and grabbed her arm looking into her eyes. 'Those eyes could steal a soul and lock it away forever'

Kätchen (with a mock gasp): So he was Satan in disguise!

Leiawyn thought as his deep brown eyes

Eowyn (indignantly): He has blue eyes! He’s not a Dunlending.
Kraut (with a sigh): I wonder why every Suethor gets all the eye colours wrong every time.


searched hers.
"Sit back down, you are not fully healed yet. You need to rest some more and recharge your body.

Kätchen (as Eomer): I’ll buy you a new set of Duracells soon.

I have arranged for another Rider to look after the camp while I talk with you. " He made Leiawyn lay back down and placed his cloak on her. "Here it is cold at night.

Mouth (sarcastically): No shit, Sherlock! How come it may happen that it’s cold in winter?

Now please tell me why you were with orcs

Faramir (as Leiawyn): I told you already. We were having a picnic party and you had to ruin it! (sulking) Thanks a lot.

and how come your necklace was glowing."
Leiawyn sighed and began her tale. Eomer listened intently as she told of her father’s death, Lady Galadriel’s gifts, and the orc battle in the woods. He continued to question her and she told him of her life and her home in Gondor. This woman captivated him and he didn’t know why.

Pippin: As doesn’t anyone reading this.

He wanted to stay all night and talk to her but realized he had matters to attend to.

Eowyn: It’s high time you did, Eomer! Stay clear of her.

“I’m sorry Leiawyn but I have to go. I need to check on my Riders and tend to some things. I hope you will rest now.” He stood placing a hand on her arm gently.
“And what am I to do while you are away? " She noticed her heart raced at his touch. Even in the candle light his handsome features were easy to see.

Kraut: Erm, isn’t it the purpose of light to make things easier see?

"You are to stay in the tent. I know who sent the orcs that took you.

Faramir (as Eomer): It was Radagast, surely!

I have had his evil in my life for awhile. We do not know what he wanted you for,

Pippin: I deem not even Shelly knows.

but he is most likely not pleased that he will never receive the prize he sought. I cannot risk him knowing you are here and trying to take you again."

Mouth: Don’t worry needlessly, Eomer. I doubt that Saruman, even the fool as he was, would want to do anything with that… thing.

He stood up straight and went to place a sword from his trunk on the table beside the bed. "I'm leaving this sword for you to use only if you need it.

Mouth (as Eomer): I hope you know what I mean. Ever heard how the tale of Turin ended? (winks.)

I trust you will not attack my men.

Faramir (perplexed): Why should she? And what is this portrayal of Rohirrim? She wouldn’t need anything to protect her in the midst of an eored.
Eowyn (dryly): My love, Shelly seems to think everyone wants to sleep with the Sue.
Faramir: Oh.


I shall return at first light tomorrow." He turned to leave.
"Then what? What is to happen when you return?

Mouth (as Eomer): Execution in the sunrise, that’s what.

How long will I be here?" Leiawyn asked sitting up.
"You will have to wait and see what happens." He replied not turning around, and with some menace in his voice. "And you will stay here as long as I see fit."

Pippin: And that’s not long if he has any sense.

Leiawyn laid back down and hugged his cloak around her.
Eomer was nice enough it seemed, except for that last part. Leiawyn could tell there was a power and rage that laid hidden, only brought out when challenged. That still scared her since she did not know his motives.

Eowyn (sighing): How about a desire to protect our land and serve our uncle?

Though his touch however, was gentle and caring. That man was a walking contradiction

Kraut: Really? In the books he seemed to be straightforward enough.

***********************************************************************

Kätchen (singing): Beside a garden wall when stars are bright you are in my arms, the nightingale tells his fairy tale…

Leiawyn had stayed a wake all night, her long nap during the day had given her endless energy.

Kraut (as Leiawyn): Those reloadable batteries really are good!

She stood in the entrance to the tent watching the sun rise, closing her eyes feeling the heat on her face. Her hair blew around her face as a cool breeze danced over the field .
"Are you hungry Leiawyn?" Opening her eyes to see who spoke, Leiawyn saw Eomer standing before her. He stood tall and proud, still in his battle gear, the sun reflecting off the metal . He gave off a powerful aura of dignity,

Eowyn (nodding approvingly): Now that’s the way to describe him!

and Leiawyn was at lost for words and just nodded. "Good. Follow me." He lead her to a clearing where some of the Riders where getting food from a makeshift mess hall.

Faramir: Huh? This is more like the entourage of a king than a company in the field.

She picked up a bowl from the table and let the cook fill it with stew. Then she grabbed a bit of bread and a drink and sat down on a log at the edge of the clearing. A short while later Eomer joined her. They sat in silence for awhile eating and enjoying the peacefulness. Leiawyn finished her stew first and sat her empty bowl down.
"I have never seen a woman eat in such a way. Normally they eat small bites and chew properly."

Pippin (as Eomer): But you are plain disgusting! Did you learn your table manners in a pig-sty?

Eomer observed as he finished the last bit of his stew, and took a long drink.
"Well, if you plan on eating with me again, get use to it. I love food and have no problem eating like a guy."

Kraut: Who’s Guy?
Kätchen: Ladies and gentlemen, an example why it is good to do research on old-fashioned vocabulary.


She took a drink also and looked around camp, lost in her own world, until she felt Eomer staring at her. "Why do you keep looking at me like that?"
"I don't mean to offend you. I was just thinking that maybe it wasn't your necklace that glowed, but you. Your beautiful."

All (hold their stomachs.)
Mouth: Her beautiful what?
Faramir (as a city guard): Open the gates! The corn cart is coming!


Leiawyn choked on her drink when she heard this.
"I'm beautiful? Right. I have never been told I was beautiful.

Pippin: Well, seems you have had at least decently honest people around you then.

Maybe sweet or pretty, but not beautiful. Are you sure you didn't get the wrong drink?" Leiawyn managed to get out between coughs, and looked into Eomer's glass. He pulled his glass back from her prying eyes.

Kraut: It is rude to pry into other person’s drinking habits.

"I am sure. Now that I see you in the light, I think I know why Saruman wanted you."

Kätchen (slaps her forehead): Oh really?! Gotthimmelreich, I really think he had more important business than chase Mary Sues!

Suddenly his expression changed as if he was slapped

Kraut: It was the ghost of Tolkien, reminding him to stay in character.

and he stood up. "I'm sorry I should have never said these things.

Eowyn: Indeed!

I have to go and see how my men are doing. "
"Wait! What's wrong?!"

Pippin: You. And the whole of this sucky story.

Leiawyn stood also, spilling her drink. Eomer was already walking away and told her to go back to the tent and stay there. "What is wrong?" He never answered her and Leiawyn headed back to the tent very confused.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kraut (singing): Ever restless the sea sighs, over the world has come the night…

A/N: Review away!

Mouth: Oh, what do you think we have done all this time?
(All exit.)


"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Caranthol
Member Avatar
At Journey's End
Disclaimer: See chapter 1.

5. Love and War

Kraut: By Lev Tolstoi.
Kätchen: War and Peace, honey.
Kraut: Whatever.


A/N: Saw TTT again.

Faramir: And that is supposed to interest us?

Now I'm even more motivated to write.

Eowyn: Oh, no…

Cannot wait until ROTK. I hope they have Eomer in as many scenes as he has in the book. Remember this is A/U.

Mouth: That is, Anti-climactic and Unrealistic.

Rachel: I'm happy I made you swoon! Having you addicted to my story

Kraut: I, for my part, would rather get addicted to alcohol or crack any day.

is the best compliment! As long as you review and tell me what you think, I will always thank you for reading!
Tara: Hopefully you will like this chapter. As long as people read I plan to keep writing.
Shy: I hope to update every chance I get. I hate when I like a story and then the author just stops writing. I will update ad fast as my fingers can type!

Pippin (deadpan): Please do, never mind the quality.

Disclaimer: I only own Leiawyn, my Mary Sue.
Once Leiawyn got back to the tent she couldn't sit still. She had no idea what was going on and it was bothering her. One minute Eomer was social and, if she wasn't mistaken, acting in a courting manner.

Eowyn: You are mistaken, believe me.

Then the next thing she knew he had done an about face, became distant and left in a hurry. Leiawyn couldn’t help but wondered if it was something she said or did.

Mouth: More like, what you are.

She was so frustrated she wanted to scream. Usually when she felt this way she went for a ride or walk, but Eomer would not allow her to leave the tent without his permission. Leiawyn sat down on the bed and let a loud sigh. She was thinking about screaming into the pillow to relieve some frustration,

Kraut: If she hasn’t ADHD, I don’t know what’s wrong with her.

when her eyes fell on the sword Eomer left last night.
Standing, she picked up the sword and unsheathed it.

Mouth (eyes narrowing with delight): Time for the final solution, Leiawyn!

It was heavier then her old sword and shorter

Kätchen: The Sue always has to have the biggest sword. Hmm, what would have old Dr. Freud said to that?

but it felt good in her hands. Closing her eyes, she gave it a small swing and felt the shifting of the weight. She was about to do a wide stroke when a picture of Boromir getting shot by the arrow flashed through her mind. Leiawyn tried to shake the visual off when the scene of her father's death entered her thoughts. Suddenly, the scar on her chest started to burn

Faramir: Burn, baby, burn!

and she cried out, dropping the sword. The pain was intense and all she could see was the deaths of Boromir and her father playing over and over again. Gripping her chest she felt herself getting light headed.

Eowyn: As the last of her already scarce brain cells died.

'Someone make it stop!' she thought as felt the world starting to tilt. Leiawyn thought she was going crazy and felt her knees give out from under her.

Pippin (hopefully): Maybe the next scene will be her funeral.

"Leiawyn!! What happened?!" Eomer came running to her and grabbed her shoulders to steady her. He looked around the tent to see if anyone could have attacked her when he wasn’t looking.

Faramir (wearily): For the last time, who in the hell would have attacked in the middle of a strong camp?

He noticed her hand over her chest and tried to move it to see what it was hiding,

Kraut (laughing): Eomer, Eomer, what do you think it is? Her boobs, of course!
Kätchen: Someone has not been awake at biology lessons.


thinking she had been wounded.
"No! Don't touch me!" Leiawyn pulled out of his grasp backing away from his touch. "You will only end up hurt!"

Eowyn: Hey, the Sue spoke the truth for once!

She fell down on the ground and backed away from him until she was in the corner of the tent. Pulling her knees to her chest, she hid her head in her arms and cried.
"Please! You are hurting! Let me ease your pain!"

Mouth (with a cruel smile): Cold steel cures every pain… permanently.

He walked over to her and sat down on the ground next to her. Eomer couldn’t stand the sight of this terrified woman and not being able to help her.

Pippin: So he kicked her out of the camp. End of story.

"No." She whispered from her arms." You are suppose to take care of me. My father was suppose to take care of me and he died. Boromir was suppose to take care of me on the way back to Minas Tirith and he died.

Kraut: I sense a pattern here…

I don't want anyone else to die because of me."
"That is not true! You had no control over what happened to your father and Boromir.

Faramir: Unfortunately, that’s true. It would be a pleasure to blame everything on her.

You can not blame yourself for actions not of your doing. Please let me see what you are covering up with your hand." He reached over, sliding his hand under her chin, and lifted her head from her arms.

Mouth: I must say your brother has style, tomboy. Even I haven’t ripped anyone’s head off.
Eowyn: I couldn’t blame Eomer if he had done that, but you read wrong. ‘From her arms’, not ‘from her shoulders’.
Mouth (shaking his head): This will never be a good story…


Looking at her face, he saw she still had tears streaming down her cheeks. Eomer took his other hand and moved her arms and looked at the spot her hand had been hiding earlier. He saw a nasty inch long scar over her heart.

Pippin (confused): Hey, wait a minute! She fully dressed but a minute ago.
Kraut: Seemingly the Rohirrim women buy their dresses from sex shops.
Kätchen: That or Eomer has an X-ray vision.


"Where did you get this from?"
"When my father was killed the sword that stabbed him stabbed me also. I.. I.. went to help him

Faramir: What on Arda? Every girl of Gondor would understand they were nothing but a hindrance in a fight.
Eowyn: Not to mention she let the farm untended, which could have grave results depending on season. Daddy wouldn’t be so happy for her help if that meant the loss of that year’s livelihood.


and I caused him to lose focus and he was killed. It throbs and burns every time I think of his death."

Mouth: Well, those Orc boys use interesting mixtures on their blades.

She answered looking at the ground. “It is my punishment for killing him.”
"You were thinking of his death when I heard you cry out. Weren’t you?

Pippin (as Eomer): Weren’t you? WEREN’T you, dammit?

Look at me Leiawyn." She met his eyes and new tears formed. “You didn’t kill your father,

Kraut: Maybe not with her hands, but…

and your not being punished.”

Kätchen: As severely as you should be.

He reached out and lightly traced the scar with his finger. She pulled back.
"No one has ever touched my scar. Please just let me leave so you won't end up getting hurt."

Faramir (as Eomer): You just try to escape, sweetie, and we’ll see which one of us gets hurt.

The tears spilled over, and her body shook as she cried. Eomer saw she held so much pain inside that he wanted to ease it and protect her no matter what. He placed one hand over her scar

Eowyn (frowning): Eomer does NOT grab strange girls’ chest!

and then wiped her tears with his other.
"I will never let you go Leiawyn. I swear I will protect you with my life."

Pippin (surprised): Eomer, are you joking?!
Kraut: I sure hope he is.


She stopped crying and stood up. His words causing a different set of emotions to boil in her.
"You, Eomer, are the most annoying man I have ever met!"

(Laughter.)
Kätchen: So much for gratitude, then!
Faramir (as Eomer): Well, to be less annoying, I always can leave you here to be caught by Orcs again.


He stood also with a look of shock on his face. Her demeanor had changed in an instant and now it seemed like she was seconds away from attacking him. In the short time he had known her, she never ceased to amaze him.

Eowyn: Mainly because she behaved like a cranky three-year-old.

"I beg your pardon, my lady. Annoying? And how am I annoying? I only said I would protect you." She was indeed a very odd woman, yet fascinating.

Mouth: Let’s drop the part after the comma, shall we? Even I haven’t uttered that big a lie.

"Yes. Now you want to protect me but for how long?" Eomer looked puzzled at this and beginning to think maybe she was crazy also.

Pippin: Methinks that’s pretty accurate a diagnosis.

"What are you talking about?"

Kätchen (as Leiawyn): About Alwin and the Chipmunks, of course! What else?
Kraut: That was… random.


"Earlier at breakfast you said I was beautiful.

Mouth (as Eomer): A mere slip of tongue, I assure you. I forgot to add ‘not’ before it.

Then you must have realized you were wrong because you changed your mind. You left saying you should have never said that. How do I know you won't change your mind about protecting me in another five minutes?"

Eowyn (slaps her forehead): He vowed that! What more would you require?

She stood facing him her eyes flashing with emotion. Leiawyn was amazed at how quickly Eomer was able to get under her skin.

Kraut: I’m sure I don’t want to hear more.

"I was wrong! I should have never said it!" Eomer yelled

Faramir (as Eomer): Nooo! Shelly is putting words in my mouth! Please, stop it before I speak to that… wench again!

as he took a step towards her. Leiawyn looked chest fallen at this, it was painful to hear the words from his mouth.

Eowyn: Why did you then annoy them out of him in the first place?

"There is a war brewing. A war I will have to fight in.

Pippin: Nice that you realize that, Eomer. Now ditch the Sue and get going, will you?

I shouldn't have said it because I shouldn't...I shouldn't" He stumbled at what to say next.

Kraut (as Eomer): Hey, Suethor, how about you let me speak as I want?

"You shouldn't what?" Leiawyn asked quietly, with a glimmer of hope in her blue eyes.
"I shouldn't be falling in love when I should be preparing to go to war!

Kätchen (singing): Resting in our billets,
Just behind the lines
Even tho' we're parted,
Your lips are close to mine
You wait where that lantern softly gleams…


I have only known you for two days and yet you fill my every thought.

Faramir: Wow, she’s spreading like cancer!

I dread the day I will return to you to Aragorn

Eowyn: Errr, her name is Leiawyn, not Aragorn.
Pippin: One ‘to’ too much. It’s anyone’s choice which one.


and will not have you as my own anymore.

Kraut (as Leiawyn): Only, you didn’t own me for a second. I’m not any bloody slave!

You give off this amazing aura and I want to be in that aura every second."

Kätchen (frowning): Is this Eomer for sure? He sounds more like he was a Hare Krishna hippie or some such.

He took another step towards her. “A person does not fall in love with a total stranger in two days.

Faramir: Well, it took only less than ten days with me and Eowyn, so don’t be so prejudiced. (turning towards Eowyn) Honey, do you remember the Houses of Healing?
Eowyn (taking Faramir’s hand): How could I forget, my love?
(They look each other tenderly in the eye. The others look embarrassed, save Mouth whose expression is bored.)
Mouth: I really don’t know which is sappier, this story or those two.
Pippin: Amen to that.


It is not natural, yet that is how I feel"

Mouth (as Eomer): That means you have bewitched me! Guards, fetch a stake and twigs for a fire!

He stroked her cheek softly and leaned towards her.

Kraut (pulling the bucket from behind his chair): I think we’ll need this…

"This is not right. Is it?" Leiawyn's breath quickened and she closed her eyes at his touch. Even if it wasn’t right she knew she didn’t want it to stop.

Kätchen (turning green): Give the bucket… quickly!
Kraut (hands the desired object.)
Kätchen (breathing deeply): That was close.


"To me it feels right. If you have doubts then it will end now." He ran his thumb across her lips, and Leiawyn said nothing. Instead she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his lips to hers.
Eomer kissed her with a passion he didn't know was in him. He pulled her body to him as he wrapped his arms around her waist. The way she fitted in his arms told him that he was put on this earth to hold her.

Pippin (loses his lunch.)
Faramir: I really think Eru had another plans when he allowed him to be born.


He wanted her more than he had wanted anyone in his life. His hand ran through her dark hair and then down her back feeling the soft skin that the dress didn’t cover.

Kätchen: Why can’t a single Sue have a dress that wouldn’t half expose her body?
Kraut: Seems someone needs to do some research on medieval peasant clothing. Someone whose name begins with S.


To Leiawyn all of time stood still. She had been kissed before but never like this. She knew that after this she would never be able to kiss anyone else but Eomer.

Mouth (laughing): Surely it wasn’t that good?

She didn’t want to kiss anyone but him ever again.

Pippin (wiping his mouth): We know by now! Just end this scene, will you?

Lou had told her that when you loved someone and kissed them it was incredible.

Mouth: I wonder if Lou meant only kissing…
Kätchen: What really is incredible is that anyone would want to kiss Leiawyn.


Leiawyn had never known what she was talking about until now. Nothing else in the world mattered, nothing else existed.

Kraut: Ladies and gentlemen, the ultimate weapon of mass destruction – a kiss!

Leiawyn was praying the kiss would never end

Faramir: Hmm, I think it would get boring pretty quickly if it never ended.
Eowyn: Not to mention it wouldn’t taste so good after a day or so.


when a voice interrupted them. Pulling away, Leiawyn and Eomer listened carefully, catching their breath.
"A White Rider is coming!

Pippin: Yes! Gandalf is coming! Maybe he’ll get the things right.

Lord Eomer come quick!" A voice from outside the tent shouted.
Eomer made sure he had his sword, then grabbed Leiawyn's hand and they ran out of the tent to where the riders were gathering around a white figure and a white horse. Eomer pulled Leiawyn through the crowd and stopped in front of the white rider. Leiawyn noticed Eomer stood in front of her protectively holding her hand, his warrior side taking over,

Kraut (sarcastically): ‘cause everyone knows Gandalf is bad and ‘innocent’ girls must be protected from him.

and kept his other hand on his sword.
"Ah Eomer. It is good you are here, for I hoped you would be. The people and King of Rohan are in need of your help. They have gone to Helm's Deep seeking refuge. Yet, I fear without you and your Riders help all will perish." He spoke quickly for he knew speed was the most important thing right now.

Faramir: Though, oft a hasty strike goes astray.

"The king? How Gandalf? He was weak and could barely sit up when I was banished. How could he have traveled to Helm's Deep?" Eomer asked letting go of Leiawyn's hand and started to pace a little. This news was a lot for him to take in.

Kätchen: Especially since in this story he seems to have the brain power of a baboon.

"There is no time to explain, Marshal. Speed is of the essence and we must hurry. Get your riders ready to leave by sun down.

Eowyn (trying to figure it out): Speed is of essence… It is morning… Yet they wait until evening... (throws her hands up) Oh, well! I won’t even try to follow this anymore!

We must take every able-body man who can ride and fight. The enemy will be many"
"Yes. We will ride at sun down. I will not let my country fall."

Kraut (as Eomer): My country, right or wrong.

Eomer turned to speak to one of his men and told him to tell everyone to get ready. Leiawyn watched the Rider's run off in different directions to prepare for the battle. Something dawned on her

Mouth: Obviously the fact she’s one person too much in this scene.

and she looked at Gandalf and Eomer and spoke.
"What about me? Do you have an extra horse I can ride to battle?"

Faramir (wearily): Leiawyn, why do you meddle in affairs you clearly can’t handle? Remember what happened to the unnamed daddy.

Leiawyn wished Alatus was here for her to use. She had to leave him in Lothlorien when they took the elven boats, and she missed her trusty companion.

Pippin: Alatus, for his part, neighed from joy.

"No, I will not allow you to fight. You have seen enough death." Eomer told her sternly

Kraut (raises an imaginary hat): You have my respect now, Eomer.

and turned back to Gandalf.
"But where am I to go?

Eowyn (as Eomer): To Isengard for all that I care.

You can't leave me here alone."

Mouth (as Eomer): Oh, yes, we can. But don’t worry, you’ll soon have some Uruks and Wargs for company.
Pippin (as Gandalf): Good riddance.


Panic began to build in Leiawyn at the thought of being left behind.
"No we cannot. I know Aragorn would not be pleased with that.

Kätchen: I, for my part, think otherwise. If he is so caring, why didn’t he even visit Leiawyn when he heard she’s saved?

I also know he will not want you to fight. You will ride with us to Helm's Deep. Then you will go with two Riders and wait out the battle.

Faramir: I think that is wasting the strength of two men needlessly.

If we win then we will come get you. If we fail then the Riders are to escort you to Minas Tirith and pray that it will not fall too." Gandalf explained as he looked at Leiawyn with kind eyes.

Eowyn: Gandalf is senile in this, yet again. If there’s so much haste, why does he spend so much time and energy for blabbering about the welfare of a wayward girl?
Mouth (sneering): Maybe the unnamed daddy and old Storm-Crow were buddies, too.
Kraut: He knew a lot of celebrities for sure.


The girl had a fire to her but he could tell she was scared to fight.

Kätchen: As she well should!

"Is it wise to bring her that close to the battle? We should send her straight to Minas Tirith."

Pippin (as Eomer): As far from me as possible.

Eomer argued with Gandalf as the three headed back to his tent.
"No we cannot risk that yet. If we send her now the enemy may find her on their way to the battle.

Mouth: And how’s that supposed to be your worry, wizard? Even you aren’t this meddlesome.

We must wait. If we lose and she is to go there, hopefully they will not be on the roads that quick." Gandalf said as he began to over see the gathering and arming of the Riders. The two men spoke as if Leiawyn wasn’t even there.

Faramir (dryly): A wise choice. Please continue.

"I will not leave now! Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli are at Helm's Deep." She looked at the two men before her. She would not sit quietly and let them decide her fate!

Eowyn: To be fair, I must say she has some spirit. Too bad she’s otherwise so annoying and stupid.

"I must see that everyone is ready. I will let you two get ready also." Gandalf left them at the entrance to the tent. Leiawyn could tell be the way he walked, he was eager to leave the two alone to figure things out.

Pippin (as Gandalf): I can’t help poor Eomer any more, he’s gone too far. A pity, he was such a smart lad.

"You will ride with us to the fields before Helm's Deep. There you will stay behind and wait for the out come."

Faramir: Or rather, the outriders of the Orc army. I begin to have doubts as for Eomer’s military skills.
Kraut: Maybe that’s a ploy to get rid of the Sue?
Faramir: We can only hope.


Eomer explained to Leiawyn as he got his battle gear ready. He would not allow harm to come to her. He would keep her out of this battle if it meant tying her up and carrying her to safety.

Pippin: All the way back to her farm, preferably.

"How can you expect me to wait to see if everyone I love lives or dies?"

Kätchen: Everyone? How about your Ranger brother, Leiawyn?
Mouth: Come on! Why should she even remember him? (Dramatic, feminine voice) Twu wuv always takes precedence over some petty family affection. (Returns to normal voice) And makes the Sue a complete asshole in the process. For Melkor’s sake, she can’t remember even his brother’s name!


She grabbed his arm and turned him to face her, her eyes filled with worry. "How can I wait to see if you live or die?

Pippin (shaking his head): Leiawyn, thousands of women have had to do that. You are not the first one nor in any way special.

I..I love you" Eomer pulled her into a tight embrace.
"I love you too. That is how you know I will return, because I love you.

Mouth (dryly): Love really is not the best weapon against swords and spears.

We will not lose to evil. Good will be victorious, even if at a high price." He pulled away and finished packing, he had to keep his mind on the task at hand. Leiawyn reached up and removed her necklace Lady Galadriel had given her. She walked over to Eomer and hung it around his neck. "What are you doing?"

Faramir (as Leiawyn): Making sure my bewitchment over you doesn’t wear away! Mwahahahaha!

"This necklace protected me, and brought me to you. I'm giving it to you so that it can protect you and bring you back to me." She pulled her hands back and Eomer grabbed them in his and pulled her closer.

Eowyn: Hmm, the Sue must be all in bruises after all this grabbing and pulling. Not very attractive, I must say.

He kissed her gently and lovingly.
"I must check on my men and see that they are ready." He picked up his saddlebags and walked out of the tent. He poked his head back in and said one last thing. “I love you Leiawyn."
"I love you too, Eomer." Leiawyn answered

Pippin (annoyed): We get it already that they love each other!
Kraut: Hell, they keep repeating it like their lives depended on it!
Kätchen: You must remember the Sue has memory problems. She could forget she’s in love if not repeated after every five minutes.


as he left once more. She went to the cot and laid down, her head full of worries. Hugging his cloak to her chest Leiawyn broke down and cried into it. War had begun and it was taking everyone she loved away from her.

Mouth (wipes an imaginary tear away): Sad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kraut (singing): My Bonnie is over the ocean, my Bonnie is over the sea…

A/N: Awww.

All: Ewwww.

To be in love! Review and I will write more!

Faramir (looking upwards): Dear Eru, let her not to get any reviews…
(All exit.)


"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

6: Riding to War

A/N: I am so glad everyone liked the last chapter.

Kraut (raising an eyebrow): Everyone?

I was worried that their love would seemed rushed. I have 21 reviews and most of them are nice!

Kätchen (dryly): So most of your readers know as little of writing as you.

I'm so happy!

Faramir: Unfortunately, we are not.

Lin: No one has called this grand before, so thank you!!! (hehe my fic is grand)

Eowyn: You wish…

Rachel: I always love your reviews! I was scared that I made them fall in love to fast,

Pippin (sarcastically): Oh, really? That was faster than an angry Ent!

but then I realized I couldn't wait for the lovey-dovey stuff!

Kätchen (deadpan): Which completely justifies you to make your plot unbelievable and full of holes.

Thanx

Mouth: Back to school, Shelly. Now. Maybe you learn to write.

for letting me know I didn't rush it.
Tara: You being able to look past the Mary Sueness and liking the fic as a whole just makes me so happy. I'm almost giddy!

All (flatly): Yippee.

Welsh-dragoon: I love your reviews for each chapter. Hopefully you will keep loving this fic! I hope to write almost everyday. What is sad is I really need to do a sociology paper but all I can write about is Eomer.

Kraut: That is called ‘obsession’, miss. See your nearest psychologist.

Thank you soooooo much for adding this to your favorites. I feel so special. I don't think I'm on anyone else's favorites list.

Mouth (yawning): Have you ever thought why is that so?

Shy: The last chapter was awesome? *Jumps up and down in circles* Soon we will see how their love survives the war.
Gah: I'm thrilled I reintroduced you to extremely Mary Sue type fics. Your eyes are bleeding?

Faramir (sympatheticly): Gah, I feel your pain.

Can you send me a picture? I think that would be a very interesting sight to see.

Eowyn: Truly. Not a pretty one, for sure, but interesting.

Disclaimer: Only my Mary Sue, Leiawyn, belongs to me. Though, Eomer would be really nice to own. I own and Eomer doll,

All: Huh?
Pippin: That’s worrying. Really worrying, if she’s over thirteen.


does that count?
After Leiawyn was finally able to stop crying, she sat up to begin to pack. She was looking around the tent, when it dawned on her she had nothing to pack.

Kraut (deadpan): Damn she’s smart!

Her old pack was back at the camp along the river, and her sword was lost during her capture. Nothing she had belonged to her, not even her dress.
"Well that was the fastest I have ever packed." Leiawyn spoke out loud laughing.

(Fake laughter.)

She stood up and straightened out her dress. Then she slung the sword Eomer gave her around her waist, praying she would never have to use it.

Pippin: So are praying all near you, too.

Finally she pinned his cloak around her shoulder.
"Everyone must be ready to leave in twenty minutes!"
Leiawyn walked out of the tent and headed to where she saw the horses being prepared.

Mouth: Did they make steak or beef of them?

She had just reached the outside of the group when a Rider approached her.
"My lady. Eomer has sent me to give you this pack. It has everything he thinks you will need.

Faramir: Logic and good manners?

Food, water, a bedroll, and a change of clothes. He will be here shortly." He explained as he handed her the small knapsack. Then he was off again to see to his horse.
"Am I not meant to know anyone else's name?"

Kätchen: Obviously Eomer wants to make sure she doesn’t fall for someone else.
Eowyn: Hmm, Eomer isn’t that possessive.


She called after him. She had met several Rider’s not one introduced themselves to her.

Kraut: They are soldiers. They only obey orders and their names don’t matter at all in that.
Mouth: More probably, no one wanted to speak to her.


"No, you are not. I only want to hear my name from you lips."

Kätchen: I told you!
Eowyn (eyes wide): That must be the world record of jealousy. Especially when they have known each other for two days.
Faramir: I wonder what he’s going to do next, shut the Sue in a cage?


Turning, Leiawyn saw Eomer approaching with a smile on his face. He grabbed her hand

Kraut: Shelly, there are more words than just ‘grab’. It really sounds like he was a gorilla abducting a girl, like in those movies.
Pippin: For example, ‘took her hand’, or just ‘touched’. Much better.


when he reached her and gave it a gentle squeeze. "A horse is ready for you. Let's go place your pack on him."
The two walked over to the horse designated for Leiawyn, and Eomer strapped her pack on it.

Mouth: Ever heard of saddle-packs, idiots?

He made a gesture in the air and suddenly the two thousand or more riders mounted their horses.

Eowyn: Huh? There were only a hundred.
Kätchen: Maybe they cloned more riders or something.


Gandalf was next to Eomer's horse, on Shadowfax, waiting for Eomer to lead the men. Leiawyn grabbed her horse's saddle and was about to mount him, when Eomer stopped her.
"Leiawyn. I don't know what will be the outcome of this war, or how long we will be apart. I want you to ride with me until we are to be separated. I want you close to me for as long as it is to be allowed." He spoke softly as he held her hands in his.

Kätchen: Awww, isn’t that romantic?
Kraut (surprised): Are you serious?
Kätchen: For once, yes.


Leiawyn only nodded and followed him to his horse. Eomer helped her onto the saddle then he took his place behind her.

Faramir (commiserating): Poor horse.
Eowyn: Why can’t they just ride separate horses next to each other, as normal people?
Mouth (in mock surprise): But that wouldn’t be romantic enough!


Wrapping his strong arms around her waist, he took the reigns.

Mouth: Ambitious though you might be, horse-boy, don’t be so hasty. You are not a king yet.

Leiawyn leaned back into him feeling safe and secure almost forgetting what they were riding to. Raising his staff, Gandalf signaled the sea of Riders to set out for battle.

Pippin: Let me see… There’s the Great Sea, then there’s the Sea of Rhûn. But I have never heard of the Sea of Riders. Did I miss something when studying maps?
Kraut: Peregrin, it’s only a dumb metaphor.
Pippin: I see. (laughing) Well, a sea going to battle would be a droll idea indeed! Even though I once saw a river rising against the Black Riders.


***********************************************************************

Faramir: And thus, amidst countless stars, was created a dwelling for the Children of Iluvatar.

No one spoke for the first couple of hours. The Riders all knew where they were going and worried about their families at Helm's Deep and the result of the battle. Gandalf seemed deep in thought, as several things were weighing on him yet he did not share his troubles with others. Leiawyn and Eomer were content with just being near each other.

Eowyn: Eomer, wake up! There’s a battle to be fought!

They had even begun to breath alike, their chest rising and falling in unison.

Kätchen: That’s called ‘mirroring’. A regular trick for hypnotizers and ladyhunters.
Pippin: Eomer can be the hypnotizer. He has those eyes who lock souls away, remember?


Eomer loved holding her in his arms and the smell of her hair as the wind blew it in his face. The love he felt for her was almost enough to make him want to leave the war behind, almost.

Pippin: Resist the temptation, Eomer! The Sue is clearly a minion of Sauron.
Mouth: Maybe we should have tried that tactic, now that I think about it.


He thought of taking her to a quiet place that no one knows of and the two of them living in happiness for all their lives. Yet, he knew that they could never live in happiness and peace until Sauron and Saruman were defeated. He could not let his people and the world fall to evil.

Eowyn (as Leiawyn): Not even for me? Wah, you don’t love me!

It would never happen as long as he was alive. He was the Third Marshal of the Mark first, a lover second. If he lost that way of thinking he had no idea what would become of Middle Earth

Faramir: Someone is a little exaggerating his own importance, it seems.

Leiawyn couldn't think of anything better then being this close to Eomer.

Pippin: It is a wonder that she can think at all.

She had her hands placed over his and, after the first hour, she knew his hands better than her own. They were strong, rough hands. Yet they were gentle and loving when it came to touching her. His right hand had a small, round scar on his palm that, Leiawyn figured, he must have got as a young boy. His left hand was perfect except that his pointer finger was slightly crooked from healing the wrong way after being broken.

Kraut: Why didn’t Tolkien care to share these details with us?
Kätchen: Because he wanted to write about important things.


She wished that she had the chance to learn this much about the rest of his body.

Eowyn: You stop just there, Leiawyn! Or I’ll stop you!

"Are you scared?" Eomer asked suddenly breaking the silence.
"Yes. I am scared for the fate of Middle Earth. For the people and children who may have to grow up in a world of pain and death. I'm scared for those who have to fight this battle and those who will fight the war."

Mouth: An eloquent speech from someone who only just thought about Eomer’s c…
Faramir (drowns the last word in a fit of ‘accidental’ coughing.)


Leiawyn tilted her head back to look at him. "However, there are things that give me hope. People who are willing to fight for freedom. The courage that is found in the people of Middle Earth. Hobbits, Dwarfs, Elves and Men give me hope.

Pippin: Gee, thanks for including us!

Our love gives me hope."

Mouth (dryly): Your love is a mere shit of flies in comparison with armies and weapons.

"It gives me hope too. The world has changed. I have seen friendships formed from the most unlikely of candidates. I believe it will be a difficult war and that we will come through it victorious." Eomer kissed Leiawyn on the forehead and the two became silent once more. They felt the silence was even better than talking.

Kraut: Funny, so do I. When they are talking, that is.

They had rode all night and most of the day when they finally came to rest in a small, secluded field at the foot of the mountains. Scouts were sent out to Helm’s Deep and guards were put on watch. It was still light out so small fires were made to cook on, without fear of being discovered.

Faramir: As if two thousand men could avoid discovery in any case.

The Riders were more cheerful, talking and joking as they ate.
Leiawyn ate alone, while Eomer and Gandalf went for a walk to talk about the upcoming battle and the best road to take to reach Helm's Deep. Leiawyn listen to the banter of the Riders and felt like she was with the Rangers again.

Eowyn: Of which episode we haven’t heard anything save a few hints. That means the description describes nothing.

Thirty minutes later Eomer returned to find Leiawyn sitting up against a tree. He could see the exhaustion in her beautiful face, but it seemed she was fighting sleep.

Pippin: The world is a tiring place if you think you have to fight everything. So relax, Leiawyn.

"Leia? You should be sleeping." He went to her bag and pulled out her bedroll and laid it out on the ground.

Faramir (as Eomer): Why can’t these Sues do anything by themselves?

Then he took out his own bed roll and placed it about a foot away from hers.

Kätchen: A mile would be a more proper distance.

"I can't. Every time I sleep I either don't dream or have nightmares. I rather stay awake."

Mouth: Not dreaming isn’t so bad, I deem.

She told him as she watched him walk over to her. He looked her sternly and bent down.
"Too bad that is not an option."

Kraut (as Eomer): You go to sleep this minute, young lady! Or you will be grounded for a week!
Kätchen (as Leiawyn): But daddy, that’s just plain mean!


Eomer said picking Leiawyn up. He carried her to her blanket and gently laid her down. Leiawyn tried to get back up,

(Laughter.)
Faramir: How hard can that possibly be?


but her stubbornness just encouraged him. He straddled her and pinned her down "You will sleep if I have to force you to lay down the whole time."

Eowyn: This is supposed to be Eomer?
Mouth (deadpan): How loving and gentle behaviour.
Pippin: Truly. Why, he’s acting more like her keeper than her lover!
Kraut: I begin to think that those vows of love were only a fantasy of the Sue’s.


She stopped struggling and he pulled his blanket next to hers and laid down on it. Reaching over he gently pulled Leiawyn into his arms and cover them up with one blanket. There they slept with their legs and arms woven together and breathing in unison once more.

Kätchen: At this rate they will merge into some kind of Siamese twins.
Faramir: That would at least create some interest in this dull story.


For those three hours the Riders rested, Leiawyn slept in bliss. In the arms of the man she loved, oblivious to world around her. Eomer was right, good will triumph over evil. It had too, for the world's sake and theirs.

Eowyn: Of which the latter was the only one mattering to the Sue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kraut (as an announcer): Ladies and gentlemen, our station is on the radio waves again!

A/N: Review! Next up the two lovers will be parted by war. I am using the movies as my timeline and since ROTK isn't out yet I will have to use the book to take up where the movie left off.

Kätchen: Wouldn’t that create a little bit of discontinuity or something?

I don't know about you but I don't think I could wait 11 months to update the story!

Faramir: Oh, we would be happy indeed if you updated only after that time.
Eowyn: In the meantime you could maybe even learn to make a decent plot.
(All exit.)
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

7. To Isengard

A/N:

Faramir: For Anti-Intellectual and Nonsensical.

I didn't go to school today so I thought I would treat ya'll to another chapter.

Eowyn: Please, Shelly, just go to school! Anything, but don’t write!

I hope you like it. A/U.

Mouth: As Annoying and Unimaginative.

Rachel: I am speechless at your compliment and have no idea what to say. Thank you sooo much. It are reviews like yours that keep me motivated to write.

Pippin: Curse on you, Rachel!

I can't begin to thank you enough for your encouraging words.
Tara: I happy you keep coming back for more. Sadly the two lovers will be separated in this chapter. I'm not sure if the will reunite at the end of it or not.

Kraut (shaking his head): She doesn’t even plan ahead this crap?
Kätchen: That explains a lot.


Rondrah: Thank you! I'm thrilled you think it is really, really good. I'm happy! I'm impatient and had to get them together. If there is some REAL action it will probably come later in the fic like when they are all at Gondor.
Disclaimer: Only Leiawyn is mine.
At the sound of the Riders moving around, Leiawyn woke up in Eomer's arms. Her moment of bliss sleeping in his arms, was interrupted when word was sent throughout the camp for everyone to get ready to leave.
"Leia?" Eomer whispered in her ear.

Faramir (as Eomer): What have I done? Why, oh why, did I drink so much last night?

The sensation of his breath on her neck sent chills down her spin.
"Hmm?" Leiawyn mumbled as she hugged herself closer to him. Sleeping in his arms felt so great she didn’t want to wake up and face what laid ahead of them.

Eowyn: That’s called escapism, my dear.

"We must leave now. We have to begin the final part of the journey to Helm's Deep." His voice was soft and even a little sad. Eomer knew that Helm’s Deep was important

Pippin: Eomer sure knows how to underestimate.

and could not let his concentration be lost on Leiawyn.

Kraut: Damn right! Ditch her, Eomer!

Leiawyn felt herself wake up fully at that sentence, as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice water on her.

Kätchen: Eomer obviously saw he should resort to more drastic methods in waking her up.

In only a few hours they would be separated, maybe forever. Eomer was to fight in Helm's Deep and Leiawyn was to wait for his return, if he returned. She felt Eomer's arms and legs untangle themselves from hers. That action told her mind that it was really beginning today, war was going to happen.

Mouth (as Leiawyn, dumb voice): Shit happens.
Faramir and Eowyn (slap their forehead)
Eowyn: Our war with Saruman had begun a year earlier, dolt!
Faramir: Has Shelly read absolutely nothing of our history?


They both sat up and looked at each other. Even though they didn’t speak, their eyes said more in silence their mouths could have with words. Eomer stood first then he reached down and pulled Leiawyn to her feet.

Pippin (as Eomer): Get up, you lazy wench! Let’s hunt some Orc!
Kätchen: Hmm, where have I heard that last sentence before…?


There was a chill in the air, an omen of things to come, and Leiawyn pulled Eomer's cloak tighter around her. She watched in silence as he packed up their belongings to secure to their horses.
"This will not be in vain. Though things look dark now, light will come." Leiawyn turned and saw Gandalf standing behind her, and could tell he knew every thought that flowed through her head.

Kraut: Maybe because there were so few of them.
Kätchen: And none of them overtly complex.


. "Do not give up hope. Your faith in Eomer, Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli can help to change the world. As long as you believe so will they."

Mouth: So now the Sue has a cosmic importance? Interesting. Stupid but interesting.

He then left without another word to go find Shadowfax.
"The men are ready, my lord." A Rider came to inform Eomer. Eomer nodded and Leiawyn could see the look of war that came over him.

Faramir (as Eomer): Time for my practiced ‘look of war’. (Grimaces) That’s better.

In the early morning light, she saw why he was the Third Marshal of the Mark. Looking at him so determined, she did not think there was a man she knew that he couldn’t take down in battle, not even Aragorn.
After the Rider left Eomer walked over to Leiawyn and looking deep into her eyes, trying to find a bit of peace in the madness that had begun,

Mouth: I agree in that madness part. Why didn’t you ‘good guys’ just surrender? I would still have my job.

kissed her. Hand and hand

Eowyn (dumb voice, raising her hands before her eyes): Hand… and another… There are two of them!

they walked to his horse, and Leiawyn got on first then Eomer. Gandalf rode up next to them and let them know that the Riders were ready.
"We must ride at a steady pace. It is night now. By dawn we must be at Helm's Deep. If we are too early or too late all will be lost."

Pippin: I really don’t see the difference if they come a little earlier than dawn.
Kraut: I do. It would rob a dramatic entrée from Gandalf.
Pippin: Hmm, you’ve got a point.


He set the pace with Shadowfax and the Riders followed.
Eomer held Leiawyn closer and tighter than the day before. He was scared he would lose her so soon after finding her.

Kätchen: Well, if he did he could always ask from lost property office.

The closer they got to Helm's Deep, the less time they had left together. Thirty minutes passed, then an hour. Time was going faster than both had wanted, and they felt that fate was playing a cruel joke on them.

Faramir: No wonder. It already had gone mad when it had brought them together in the first place.

They had just met and now they were being torn apart, it wasn’t fair.

Eowyn (curtly): That’s the way life is. Tough.

"When the battle is over, and we have won, please let Aragorn know I am ok." Leiawyn said. “I figure he must be worried about me.”

Mouth (as Eomer): Hey, Aragorn, that twit named Leiawyn is ok. Thought you might want to know.
Pippin (as Aragorn): Leiawyn? Who? Never heard of her.


"That I will, my love. Whatever the outcome I will send a Rider to you. If we lose this battle you must leave and go to Minas Tirith. I know you will not want to, but you must promise to do this for me." He kissed her hair. “I am only willing to fight to the death if I know you will be ok

Mouth: I wish that meant ‘over-killed’.

even if I don’t return.”

Kraut: Only because of that? Where’s your patriotism and sense of duty, Eomer?

“I promise Eomer. I will do as you wish, but if we fail here Minas Tirith will provide little protection, for it too will fall.” Leiawyn spoke with no emotion.

Kätchen: Because being mentally at about the level of bacteria she didn’t have any.

Eomer said nothing to her observation, for he knew she was right, and that gave him little hope.

Faramir (as Eomer): Gee, you sure are cheering, Leiawyn!

They rode in silence for another three hours, and then it was time. Eomer sent for two Riders to come to him. Once they arrived, the group stopped at the fields just outside of Helm's Deep, it would be light soon.
"This is where the journey for you ends, Leiawyn." Gandalf spoke kindly.
Leiawyn and Eomer dismounted and the other Riders could see that this was painful for their fearless leader.

Eowyn (deadpan): And their morale plummeted to an all-time low. Because of which they lost the battle.

Eomer walked her to her horse and they stood next to it looking at each other one last time, not sure if they would see each other again. Eomer gentle tucked a lose strand of hair behind her ears, and Leiawyn trembled at the touch.

Pippin: No wonder after the manhandling she received from Eomer the previous night.

Their eyes met once more

Mouth (as Leiawyn’s eyes): Oh, hello! It’s a long time since the last time, isn’t it? How do you do?
Kraut (as Eomer’s eyes): Fine enough, thank you! And you?
Mouth: Nothing to complain, except that I still have to hang around with that Sue.


and Leiawyn spoke first.
"I don't want you to go. It isn't fair."

Kätchen (as Leiawyn, bratty voice): It isn’t fair! I don’t wanna play with you anymore!

Her voice broke, and Eomer felt the pain in his heart. "I love you Eomer. You have to come back to me, and you have to bring my friends back to me also."

Faramir: A tall order, I must say.
Pippin: Demanding, is she?


Tears filled her eyes that were now dull with pain.
"I don't want to go either, but it is my duty and my destiny.

Eowyn (sternly): You keep that in your mind, brother!

I love you too Leiawyn. I swear to you I will return and I will bring your friends with me. I made a promise to protect you, and I will keep that promise. I will return, you must believe I will return."
He kissed her then, and after helping her onto her horse, he held her hand for a moment, and tears slowly slid down her face.

Pippin (deadpan):…with little sleds of course.
Kraut: I bet with skates, rather.


He then left her to mount his own horse, before he too would be over come with emotion.
He rode off without looking back, signaling the Riders to battle. He knew if he looked back he would see her crying on her horse with the wind blowing through her hair,

Mouth: And through her ear exiting from the other one.

and her bright eyes full of pain he was causing.

Kätchen: He was causing? I really think he didn’t start the war all by himself.

If he saw her, he would not be able to leave her, he would want to stay.

Mouth (scoffing): And this is supposed to be a warrior of the line of Helm the Hammerhand?
Eowyn (dryly): Unlike you, some people do have feelings.


Staying was something he couldn't do. He set his mind on the battle that laid before him, he must lead his men to battle with a clear head. He would not fail, he could not fail.
Leiawyn watched Eomer’s tall, masculine frame disappear in to the mass of Riders. She said a silent prayer, to whoever was listening,

Kraut: Elvis?
Kätchen: The UFOs?
Faramir: I don't know who those are, but at least the Valar would have washed their hands on her by now. Even their compassion has limits.


that he and all those who fought would return safely. Leiawyn was brought back to reality

Pippin: A place she seems to visit all too seldom.

when the two Riders left with her, headed off the field to a small opening in the side of the mountain.
"Here, my lady, is where we shall wait out the battle." One told her as she entered the cave. It was dark and cold, and Leiawyn pulled the cloak tighter around her.
Once she was inside the two Riders stood guard at the entrance. Leiawyn sat down and looked into the cave. No matter how hard she strained she couldn’t tell how deep it went. She finally gave up and looked outside instead. She was in her own little world

Faramir (boredly): I wish she would also stay there.

when she saw the sun rising over the plain that laid outside the cave. Leiawyn quickly stood and went to the entrance her heart racing and fear filled her soul. The Riders were to join the fight at sunrise, and she knew everything would be decided now. She could tell the guards were as worried as she was. For they exchanged a look and their faces became determine as if they felt they we still riding with the other Riders.

Eowyn (as Rider Nr. 1): I would fight Orcs thousand times over rather than be with her.
Pippin (as Rider Nr. 2): Me too. But remember our plan? It is time.
Eowyn (as Rider Nr. 1): How could I forget? Very well, you attack her from the front and I’ll stab her from behind.


An hour went pass with no messenger, and no sound of defeat of victory. Leiawyn was pacing, deep in thought and prayers, when the two guards drew their swords

Eowyn (as Rider Nr. 1): Now! Strike before it’s too late!

and pulled her into the darkness of the cave. They were ready to fight, that much was clear, but Leiawyn didn’t know what had made them get ready to fight. Then she saw them, those foul creatures...orcs. They were leaving from the direction of Helm's Deep. From what they saw, it was a good sized group.

Kraut: ‘Good’ is not exactly the word I would use with Orcs, in any context.

Leiawyn's mind raced questions. Were they running in fear or in celebration?

Mouth (impatiently): What do you think, huh? That Orcs celebrate victories by having a marathon contest?

The battle had to be over, right?. If so who had won?
The orcs never saw the cave, for they ran like Sauron himself was chasing them. After time had passed without any more orcs, the three people left the cave and looked in the direction of Helm's Deep. Leiawyn's legs went weak at what she saw next.
Riding up on a horse, bloody and dirty was Aragorn.

Pippin: Well, he really was in need of a bath.

He dismounted, smiling and ran to Leiawyn giving her a huge hug.
"You are ok!

Kätchen: But I am not if I have to read this all too modern dialogue any more.

I'm so relieved." Aragorn hugged her tighter and relief filled his heart.
“I’m fine. I was worried about you Aragorn. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you too.” They hugged tighter.
Looking past his shoulder, Leiawyn saw Gandalf on Shadowfax and Legolas and Gimli on another horse. Then came what looked to be a king,

Kraut: And not any king, but Theoden Ednew himself.

on one more horse, followed closely by his guard. Leiawyn's scanned the faces in relief and panic. One was missing, the most important one to her, next to Aragorn. She felt herself getting light headed

Kätchen: That is, her usual condition. Emptiness usually weighs little.

at the terrible thoughts that filled her mind, when she saw him ride up last.
Eomer was on his horse covered in sweat and a wearing a look of pride.

Faramir: I would say a hauberk, or even just a cloak would do better.

Leiawyn knew he looked like the great warrior he was meant to be. Breaking out of Aragorn's embrace, Leiawyn ran towards Eomer. He dismounted and felt his heart race with joy as he watched her run with her hair streaming behind her and the sun shining on her. He met her with open arms, picking her up and spinning her as they hugged,

Mouth: Then tossing her as far as he could.

then kissing her passionately.
"I told you I would return, my love." Eomer told her, smiling, when they stopped kissing.
"I never doubted you for one second."

Eowyn: Liar, liar!

Leiawyn replied and kissed him once more.
"Is there something you would like to share with the rest of us?" Aragorn asked looking at Eomer sternly. He did not like not knowing what was going on. Especially since it involved Leiawyn kissing a man.

Kätchen: Hey, Aragorn, slow down! You have Arwen, right?
Kraut: Plus it is none of your business what she does. You aren’t her ward, are you?


"There is no time for catching up. We have business at Isengard. Eomer, are your men coming?" Gandalf wanted to know, a small smile played on his lips at the sight of the young lovers.
Eomer didn't need to answer because he saw his company of twenty five men appear from Helm's Deep.

Mouth (scratching his head): I never knew they took so heavy losses. Wasn’t there two thousand originally, according to Shelly?

Eomer kissed Leiawyn once more and then helped her onto her horse. After he got on his horse the small company set out for Isengard.
Leiawyn was riding between Eomer and Aragorn, and could feel the tension between them. After the fifth drop dead look Aragorn gave Eomer,

Faramir (laughing): Somehow I can’t picture the heir of Isildur glowering like a school-boy.

Leiawyn spoke up.
"What is wrong Aragorn?" Leiawyn asked causing Aragorn to jump.

Kraut (as Aragorn): Damn, all this caffeine is getting on my nerves! I shouldn’t have drunk that fifth cup of coffee.

"Nothing. I just don't understand how the two of you could be in love so soon.

Eowyn: Don’t worry, neither does anybody else.

I left you five days ago and now you are in love with someone. A war has begun and you go and fall in love with someone who will fight in it." Leiawyn finally knew what this was about.

Pippin (as Leiawyn, gasping): You are my father?
Mouth (as Aragorn): Why else would I have wasted my time visiting you?


"You are worried about me. You think that he is going to die, or maybe you think it will end up like you and Arwen."

Kätchen: With betrothal? That doesn’t sound too bad, after all.

Aragorn shot her a look at this. "I know it is fast and others may not understand it, but we love each other. Not everyone has a lifetime to grow to love their soul mate,

Mouth: Grow up, Leiawyn! That whole ‘soul mate’ thing is bullshit for besotted youngsters! There are only people who suit to each other more or less well, nothing more.
Faramir: And what are you supposed to know about that?
Mouth (with a contemptuous look): I have lived for over three thousand years, boy. I have seen a thing or two before I got my latest job.


like you had with Arwen.

Eowyn: I wonder how the Sue has bewitched Aragorn. Hell, he has told her everything!

I can't even explain why we fell in love so fast, we just did." She looked at him pleading. "You are the closest thing I have to a father now, I want your blessing."

Kätchen: You have that unnamed brother, remember? It's he whose blessing you need.

"He is a good fighter. From what I have seen and heard he is a good man as well. He makes you happy, that is clear. I still don't like you two finding each other now." Aragorn said reluctantly. “There are to many chances for you to be ripped from each others life.”

Pippin: And exactly how is that supposed to matter to you?

"It will work out for you and Arwen, you just have to believe.

Kraut (as Aragorn): You are giving me relationship counsel? Come on, I could be your grandfather! Let’s keep real.

She loves you enough to stay and live a mortal life. She won’t listen to you and she will defy her father and stay." Aragorn looked at Leiawyn and smiled. She was trying so hard to make him have faith in love.

Kätchen (as Aragorn, boredly): Those kids and their fancies…

Eomer interrupted their conversation with a question to Gandalf.
"Gandalf? We know why Saruman wanted the hobbits, but why did he want Leiawyn?"

Mouth: Because he was an incompetent moron, that’s why.

Gandalf was quiet, deep in thought, then answered.
"I do not know. I do know that he will not be happy when he sees her with us.

Faramir: As if anyone would be happy to see her.

When we get there be on your guard. Saruman is more slippery then you can imagine.

Kraut (as Gandalf): That’s because he uses all too much sun lotion.

Whatever his reason I feel he will still want what he lost."

Kätchen: His reason obviously, if he really wanted the Sue.

Leiawyn looked at Eomer with a hint of fear in her eyes. His eyes were filled with determination and she knew he wouldn’t let harm come to her. Still she was scared of what would happen at Isengard. Would there be another battle? Would Saruman try and take her?

Faramir: Definitely not, if he was at all as wise as he was said to be.

Would they ever find Merry and Pippin? Leiawyn was afraid but felt safe at the same time. Her friends and the man she loves were ok and back with her. They had won the first major battle for Middle Earth. Plus, she had the company of twenty five Riders and the King of Rohan.

Eowyn (dryly): Shelly makes it sound like all that was only for Leiawyn’s private amusement.
Pippin (deadpan): But it was! She’s so speshul.


She couldn't think of a better group of people to be riding to Isengard with.
A/N: Ok I hope this one didn't stink.

Mouth: Your hope is in vain, miss.

I might take a day or so to update because I am pondering if Leiawyn should go to Gondor with Gandalf and Pippin or back to Rohan with Eomer and the king.

Kraut (grimacing): I really can’t decide which would be worse.

Maybe the two lovers need to separated so the can de reunited. Reunions are the best!

Kätchen: Usually, yes. In this case, HELL NO!

Review as always!

(All exit.)
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1. I will skip most of the parts where there are direct quotes from book of any great length and where the Sue doesn’t interfere.

8: Truth to a Wizard’s Desire

A/N: Ok I have to give credit to one of my loyal reviewers, Rachel, for this chapter and probably the next. I was unsure of where to take the story and she helped me to figure out what to have happen.

Faramir: Oh, no, Rachel! What have you done?
Eowyn: We can only hope her suggestions make more sense than the crap this far.


All I can say is look out conflict is on its way! Thanx for the help Rachel and the nice visuals of the LOTR buffet! Once again this is A/U

Mouth: As Artificial and Unreadable.

and a Mary Sue. All flames or reviews having to do with the plot not coinciding with the book to the T, or Leiawyn being a Mary Sue will be met with my smart a** mouth.

Pippin: And your story is met with our not too gentle mouths. I figure it’s even then.

Also paragraphs marked with a * means it's quoted from the book. Though I am VERY lazy so I will most likely skip the speeches unless they pertain to Leiawyn or Eomer.

Kraut: Really? You really can’t be that lazy. What if you just summarized those parts if they don’t interest you.

Nienna: Treebeard getting his own selection when Eomer doesn't, blows my mind. I hope after you read my story you will let me know what you think. Please don't be too harsh.

Kätchen: Nienna, please do be harsh.

Tara: I love mystery too! I hope you like conflict because a lot is coming up.
Meg: First off I want to say thank you for giving me constructive criticism. Unlike some people who have just flamed me and told me I basically suck.

Faramir: Truth hurts sometimes, Shelly.

As much as I appreciate your advice and information I don't plan on changing my story.

Eowyn: So much for appreciation, then.

Maybe if I write another one I will research more details and get a beta reader. This is really just my flight of fancy. I'm not taking everything you explained into consideration, I'm just having fun writing a love story about one of my fav characters. I do promise that if I write another LOTR fic (besides my other one, Eye of the Beholder) I will (maybe) research everything and get a beta reader.

Pippin: Maybe, maybe… Why don’t you just say you are going to ignore everything and continue to type this kind of drivel?

So besides the plot holes you pointed out. (Maybe I need a "watch where your walking, holes ahead" sign!)

Mouth: Sure. Especially since the whole story is one big plot hole.

What else did you think of the story?
Rachel: The plot has to thicken or its no fun! Leiawyn and Eomer could use more support, seems people are always ragging on them. Every reason you listed for Aragorn being jealous of Eomer are soo true!!

Kraut: No, they are not, whatever Rachel said.

I will always continue to write.

Kätchen (painfully): And I thought there’s no torture in Western countries.

Especially since we both know what is coming up!
Blah: Thanks
Welsh-dragoon: OMG! I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at the kissing a girl line in your review! I'm glad you keep giving me your feedback. I hope you like what is coming up next!
Disclaimer: I only own Leiawyn and my plot twists.
Once the small company reached the outer walls of Isengard, they were met by the most unlikely sight.

Faramir: Saruman juggling with torches and singing ribalds?
Eowyn: Grima wearing women’s clothes?
Kraut: Sauron in a Hawaii shirt and holding a ‘Peace’ placard?


Laying on the ground, one smoking a pipe and the other sleeping, were two small, childlike creatures.
"Merry! Pippin!" Leiawyn exclaimed at the sight of them, and jumped from her horse. The two hobbits looked at her in amazement,

Pippin (as himself): Oh, no! Even the Uruks couldn’t finish her off!

and stood up hugging her.
"Leiawyn?! The last time we saw you, you were laying on the other side of the orc camp. You weren’t moving and we thought you were dead.

Mouth (as Merry): Because of which we were overjoyed.

We tried to get to you when we escaped, but we were chased by an orc and had to run for our lives." Merry told her once they stopped hugging. He looked around Leiawyn and the others, it was then he seemed to remember he had a job to do.
*

Kraut: So now comes the book part. (looking upwards) Deusexmachina, could you skip it so that we could move on??
Voice of Deusexmachina: Sure. Here’s a remote to you. (A strange-looking remote control appears in the lap of Kraut.)
Kraut: Much better. Skip! (presses a button.)


Leiawyn tuned the rest of the conversation out, as she noticed a darkness fall over Eomer's face at mention of Wormtongue. She walked over to his horse, and reached up, grabbing his hand.

Faramir (wagging a finger): Leiawyn, grabbing is not nice! Now put Eomer’s hand back.

Eomer looked down to see who was interrupting his thoughts.
"Eomer? What is wrong? Why have your spirits become dark?" He looked down at her face shining in the sun, filled with concern, and felt the dark clouds lift.
"Nothing Leia. It’s just I have known this Wormtongue for most of my life and I don't care for him."

Eowyn (laughs): I guess that’s the mildest way to express his feelings.

A hint of anger entered his voice. "He is the reason I was banished from Rohan. I had finally had enough with his haunting my sister's steps.”

Eowyn (suddenly serious): True. And I had had more than enough with it.

The two were so deep in conversation, that one of the Riders had to nudge Eomer to let him know that he was to go with Gandalf and the King to meet someone by the name of Treebeard. Eomer thanked the Rider, then he tried to pull Leiawyn on to his horse but she stepped away from him.

Pippin (as Leiawyn): I am not a doll to be carried around!
Mouth (as Eomer): Then develop some intelligence so that you look less like a toy.


"This is a matter for the Riders, the King and Gandalf. I wish to stay here and hear of my friends tale. I also know they will want to hear mine."

Kraut: I wouldn’t count on that.

Leiawyn told him. He started to protest about leaving her alone so near Saruman,

Kätchen: Yeah. As if old Saruman didn’t have trouble enough already.

when Legolas walked up.
"Go Eomer. She will be safe here, I promise. Wormtongue and Saruman will not be able to harm her. Go with your uncle, it is your duty." Eomer found faith in the elf’s words

Faramir: Or he only waited for an excuse to leave the Sue.

and went with the others to find Treebeard. Once Eomer was out of hearing range Legolas looked at Leiawyn teasingly. "What reason have you given that poor man to not trust you alone?" Leiawyn hit him in the arm before replying.

Eowyn: After which Legolas shot through her thick skull. The end.
Kätchen (as Legolas): No one hits an Elf!


"It is not me he worries about, but the morons I am left with. Elf boy."

Pippin (sarcastically): Isn’t she witty and charming?

In a blink of an eye Legolas had her tossed across his shoulders

All (laugh.)
Kraut: She is a rag doll!
Mouth: I only wish she were a punch bag.


and took her to where the rest of the Fellowship was standing. Merry and Pippin then escorted them to an old guards house to eat. Legolas continued to carry Leiawyn the entire way, kicking and screaming. "I swear Legolas Greenleaf! If you do not put me down right now you will be soooo sorry!"

Kätchen (as Legolas): Oh, yeah? What are you going to do, annoy me to the death?

This only resulted in Legolas shifting Leiawyn to where the feathers on his arrows tickled her face.
Once they got inside the building Legolas sat Leiawyn down

Faramir (as Legolas): Sit, Leiawyn! Good girl.

and they waited while the hobbits fixed them a meal. Once everyone had finished eating the hobbits told the tale of their escape, meeting Treebeard, and the Ents attack on Isengard. From the sound of things, it seemed everyone thought that everyone else had been killed. Once their tale, Leiawyn's and the Three Hunters tale had been shared they decided to head into Isengard to look around.

Kraut (as a tourist guide): And in the left you see Orthanc, our main sight. Notice the curious architecture. And on the right there is an Orkish forge…

They saw the Riders and Gandalf heading to Orthanc and walked over to meet them. Gandalf saw the group arrive, and told them of his plans to speak to Saruman one last time. Leiawyn hung in the back as the group drew closer to the building, she knew that evil was in it.

Eowyn (deadpan): Because she was a psychic.

She watched silently as Gandalf, the King, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli walk up to the door without fear. The hobbits stood on the steps timidly and the Riders were a little way behind them. Leiawyn drew in a breath as Gandalf knocked with his staff and called for Saruman. The window on the door opened and a slimy sounding voice spoke.

Pippin: Grima, obviously. Saruman wasn’t exactly ‘slimy sounding’.

Leiawyn could not hear what was said, but noticed Eomer place his hand on the hilt of his sword and tense up. She took a step closer to hear since what was said seemed to bother Eomer so much.
Something made her look up, and she saw a figure on the balcony just over the door. She could tell right away that it was Saruman, for he looked like Gandalf but lacked the aura Gandalf gave off.

Kraut: So she’s wiser than many mighty men. In reality Saruman would have charmed so stupid a girl with barely one word.

Leiawyn saw he was speaking to Gandalf and the king, but she could not hear what he was saying. All she could think of was getting closer to him like an unseen force was urging her forward.

Kätchen: So it is true that evil attracts evil.

Walking through the group of horses, she came to the steps, but stopped at the sound of Eomer's voice.
*"Lord, hear me!" he said. "Now we feel the peril that we were warned of. Have we ridden forth to victory, only to stand at last amazed by an old liar with honey on his forked tongue? So would the trapped wolf speak to the hounds, if he could. What aid can he give you, forsooth? All he desires is to escape from his plight. But will you parley with this dealer in treachery and murder? Remember Theodred at the Fords, and the grave of Hama at Helm's Deep!"

Faramir: Isn’t it nice how Shelly includes only Eomer’s lines so that he could look wiser and cooler than he really was?
Pippin: True. Why, there's not even Theoden's speech about Saruman hanging 'as a sport for his own crows'.


Once he stopped talking, it was like a wall was removed and Leiawyn was driven by the same unseen force as before. Finally Saruman's eyes fell on her and he beckoned her forth. In a flash, Eomer had dismounted and grabbed her around the waist, pushing her behind him and drew his sword.

Eowyn (as Eomer): She’s mine, you dirty old man! Even though I can’t say why I’m so overtly jealous of her.
Pippin (as Saruman): Fine. You can keep her. You are a fool if you thought for a second I would want her.


"You have not the right to look or speak to her!

Kraut (as Saruman): But now this is outrageous! You are inhibiting my freedom of speech! See you in court.
Kätchen (deadpan): This really must be love if he even dictates with whom she may speak.


I kept her from you once and I will do it again!" Saruman looked at the two with hate in his eyes.
"So she did not die like I had thought.

Mouth: Hey, he does have some sense after all!

I had great plans for her, Eomer. Let me tell you about them, since I know you will appreciate them. I was going to kill her in the land of Rohan and then send word to Gondor. They would not take kindly to the thought of Riders killing their maidens.”

Faramir: Where do I start? First of all, Saruman is senile or plain stupid if he speaks this openly of his plans. Which, by the way, are senseless. My father would never have believed that kind of story. Especially not if it was told by a wizard.
Kraut: The movie version of Denethor would maybe have swallowed that, however.
Faramir (frowning): That movie sounds less and less appealing.


He paused to smile before continuing. “Though I did plan on letting my servant Wormtongue, have his way with her before we killed her. Since he was unable to have your sister, I thought it was only fair. Such a shame he will never get to steal her innocence."

Eowyn: This is an affront! Shelly’s practically comparing me to that… that… wench!
Pippin: Who would have thought Saruman thought so much of his servants’ needs?


Suddenly a voice spoke from the other balcony.
"I would have enjoyed it very much, Eomer, making her scream." Grima said as he stepped closer to the edge. His pale face displaying a proud and sinister smile.

Mouth: He must be drunk. This is nothing like that snivelling coward Grima.
Eowyn: True. He surely wasn’t that cocky when he fled from Edoras.


"You miserable coward! You will never touch her or my sister! You speak much from up there, why don't you come down here and I will see to it you speak no more!" Eomer shook with rage and took a step forward when Aragorn stood before him.

Kraut (as Eomer): What now? Are you jealous of Grima, too?
Kätchen (as Aragorn): Actually now that you mention it…


"Leave now Eomer." He placed a sturdy hand on the young Rider’s shoulder.
"No, you heard what they said!" Eomer said through clenched teeth.
"Yes I did. I'm just as angry as you are, but there are other things we must deal with.

Pippin: Truly. The sneers of some pathetic pair of defeated villains are among your least worries just now.

Take Leiawyn away from them and go to the gate. It is not wise to let her be this close to those who had such horrible things in mind for her. You say you love her, then take her to a place where she will be safe."

Mouth: And what are they supposed to be able to do to her from the distance of dozens of yards? Make faces at her? Really scary.

Aragorn told him firmly.
Finally Eomer sighed, and put his sword away as he mounted his horse. Then he reached down and pulled Leiawyn on behind him. Once he felt her long arms around him,

Faramir: Ah, now I know! She’s an orangutan.
Eowyn: An interesting theory, my dear.


he gave the horse a good kick and they rode back to the entrance of Isengard quickly. Upon reaching it, they dismounted and Eomer sat down leaning against a tree, the adrenaline still racing through his veins. Leiawyn sat down in front of him and leaned back, propping her arms on his knees.

Pippin: Which surely was very uncomfortable to him.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.
"So that was Wormtongue?" Leiawyn asked lacing and unlacing her fingers in Eomer's.
"Yes. For most of my life he has followed my sister, wanting her. He had power over the king, so there was nothing I could do to stop him. When it finally became to much I tried to put an end to it once and for all and ended up banished. I never thought he would come after the other woman I loved."

Mouth: Eomer, the world doesn’t revolve around you. Or do you think Grima did everything just to annoy you?
Kraut: Actually Shelly just made it look like that.
Mouth: Well, you are right.


Eomer tightened his hold on Leiawyn as he thought back on the things that Saruman and Wormtongue had planned to do to her.
"I fear he was only settling on me, it is your sister he really sought. He never got the chance to hurt her right?"

Eowyn (darkly): I would have killed him myself before it would have come to that.

Leiawyn felt his grip on her tightened and squeezed his fingers between hers. She knew if Aragorn hadn’t stopped him, Eomer would have figured out some way to kill Wormtongue,

Pippin: That sounds like he was an assassin. The Eomer I met would have just run Grima through and faced the consequences.

the rage he had frightened even her.
"No, he never got the chance, I made sure of it. Though I know he would of had the opportunity presented its self to him."

All: Huh?
Kätchen: I really regret I haven’t bought the dictionary of gibberish.


Eomer was beginning to get angry again when they heard the others returning on horses. The two lovers broke their embrace and rose to meet them.
Gandalf told them to fetch their horses for they were to set off at once. Saruman had been taken care of and now they had other matters to deal with. He feared Gondor would be attacked next.

Faramir: No shit, Sherlock! That was the whole point of Sauron’s going to war.

Two riders went ahead with speed to Dunharrow, while everyone else traveled at a slow, steady pace. Once it got too dark to travel safely, they went off the main road and up hill into the woods a little ways. There they set up camp in a small clearing with guards to keep watch. Leiawyn was about to place her bedding near Eomer's when Aragorn stopped her.
"Maybe the two of you slept near one and other while I was not around, but that will not be the case now.

Eowyn: What does it matter now, Aragorn? According to what you know, they already may have done something improper.

Your father was a good friend and would come back from the dead to kill me if he knew I was letting you sleep with a guy

Pippin (as Leiawyn, dumb voice): But his name is Eomer, not Guy!
Kraut (sighing): This is supposed to be medieval milieu?


you are not wed to.

Kätchen: Well, what prevents them to marry now? According to what I have read about Middle-Earth, it was just the exchange of rings and vows and voilà! There’s a new couple!
Faramir: That’s pretty much true.


From now on you will sleep near me and Legolas, for he doesn't close his eyes and can watch you all the time."

Eowyn: I really doubt that Legolas could do that, eyes open or not. From what I’ve heard, Elves are quite deep in their waking-dreams.

As Aragorn dragged her to where his bedding was,

Pippin: Shelly seems to like to write that everyone treats her Sue like they were cavemen.
Kraut (as Aragorn, grunting): Sue pretty, Sue mine!


Leiawyn looked at Eomer defeated. He smiled and nodded, he knew he would be the same why if it was Eowyn.

Eowyn (dryly): Only, I didn’t need at all to be watched after. I do have some sense of propriety, after all.

Leiawyn was so tired that the second her head hit the ground she was out cold.

Mouth: Sweet. Please stay cold, too. (after a pause) Still, I don’t think I can believe she’s dead until rigor mortis is described. Well, let’s see…

She was deep in a dream when a loud cry rang out in the air. She sprang to her feet and looked around, and saw the others were running and gathering around Pippin. As she got closer she saw Gandalf talking to him and then he handed Aragorn a black, ball shaped, stone.

Kätchen (as Gandalf): Please do try to keep the balls on the table! It is impossible to play billiard with you if you always bounce them to the floor.

She heard the end of the conversation Gandalf was having with the King.

*

Kraut: Here goes. (Presses a button)
SKIP!


Gandalf turned to gather his and Pippin's things, when Aragorn grabbed Leiawyn's arm and pulled her to where they were.
"Take Leiawyn with you.

Kätchen (as Gandalf): Too bad all the places on Shadowfax’s back are already booked.
Faramir (as Aragorn): Damn it! Now I am stuck with her!


She will be safer there." Leiawyn pulled out of his grasp, looking at Aragorn with anger, then started to walk back to where Eomer was yelling over her shoulder.

Eowyn (laughing): Why was he doing that? It must have looked quite ridiculous.
Pippin: Or gory, since that sentence indicates only her shoulder was with Eomer.
Mouth: Sweeeeet!
Faramir: Erm, I think the long-lost comma eater has returned. There should be a comma after ‘was’.
Mouth: Nah, it is funnier this way.


"I will not go while everyone else stays. I have been separated once before from you and the others I will not let it happen again!"

Eowyn (as Aragorn): But I do let. Gladly.

Aragorn grabbed her hand, and pulled her back,

Kraut: Methinks she needs some plaster or salve after this fic, since by then she’s all in bruises.
Kätchen: Yeah, they all treat her like she was four! Well, at mental level she maybe is, but still.


frustrated at her stubbornness
"You only want to stay because of Eomer! He clouds your judgment

Faramir: A philosophical question: Can something nonexistent be clouded?

and you cannot see the danger that lies before you!" Leiawyn jerked away once more and faced Aragorn, his accusations sent her over the edge.

Eowyn (hopefully): Of a precipice. She fell a hundred yards and was crushed against sharp stones. The End.
Mouth: That was exactly what I thought.


"You are jealous! Do you want to know why your jealous, Aragorn? I'll tell you why!

Kraut (as Aragorn, dryly): I'm all ears.

Your jealous because I am with Eomer and can touch him and kiss him whenever I want

Pippin (as Leiawyn, bratty voice): And you know what? You can’t do a thing to stop me! I’m a big girl now! Hehehehe!

and he loves me, while Arwen left you to die alone!"

Faramir: Huh? When? How? Where?
Kraut (checking his nails, carelessly): The film.
Faramir: How come I am not surprised.


The next thing she knew Aragorn had slapped her.

All (clapping furiously): Bravo! Encore!
Pippin: As much as Aragorn is out of character I still can’t say I can blame him.
Kraut: Neither I. She begged for it.


Tears welled up in her eyes as she told him, "I am going to Rohan and you can't stop me."

Kätchen: You tried that teeny-weeny defiance just a minute ago and look what it brought upon you. So, as a friendly tip, you really should shut your mouth before it’s too late.

With that, she turned and ran before he could see her crying.
Aragorn started to follow her

Mouth (excitedly): To beat the crap out of her!
Faramir: Now, now, he’s not that violent in reality. Even though the scene you mention would be nice.


calling her name when Legolas gripped his arm. "Let her go. She is upset and both of you just need to cool down."

Kraut (dumb voice): Are they liquid- or air-cooled?

"I hit her Legolas. I have never hit a woman before."

Kätchen: Don’t feel bad, Aragorn. She deserved it.

He looked towards the direction Leiawyn ran and felt a sadness within him.
"She struck a nerve Aragorn. That was the whole point of her saying that.

Pippin: Seems that the Obvious Army is recruiting again. Remember More Worlds Than One?
Faramir: I’d rather forget it, thank you very much.


She knows why you hit her and she will forgive you. It is Eomer you must worry about now." Legolas let go of his arm as Aragorn sat down and worried what would result from his actions.

Mouth: One of the immediate results is my respect.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kraut (singing): Danube so blue, so bright and blue, through vale and field you flow so calm…

A/N: Dang this is a long one!

Kätchen: I agree. Very much too long.

I hope everyone enjoyed it!

Faramir: If hopes were gold, we would all be rich.

I know it isn't really Aragorn's character to hit a woman

Pippin (sarcastically): Oh, really?

but I think he would if one had said what Leiawyn did. As Always review!

(All exit.)

"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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At Journey's End
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

9. A Reaction And A Parting

A/N: I'm glad everyone liked the last chapter.

Pippin: Everyone? What are you implying, Shelly, that we are nobody?

I was afraid of serious Aragorn backlash from the slap.

Faramir: Well, if King Elessar hears of your story, your fear is very valid.

It was the opposite actually. All the reviews were people wanting Eomer to kick his a**.

Eowyn (muttering): But I wish I could kick yours…

I will warn you now the slap will have some repercussions that will affect some things later on. Also I forgot the Nazgul in the last chapter so I'm putting it in this one, so don't sh*t bricks because it is out of order ok?

Kraut: If we had done that, we would have material to build a complete city by now.
Kätchen: Amen.


Also I know Eowyn was at Helm's Deep in the movie but I'm going to have her at Dunharrow in my story. As always Leiawyn is a Mary Sue and this story is A/U.

Mouth: As Abject and Unremarkable.

Things directly from the books will be marked with *.
Tara: Put down the sword! Trust me Eomer will not let Aragorn get away that.

Faramir: Well, he should thank Aragorn, if you ask me!

Welsh-dragoon: I would be a little paranoid with Legolas "sleeping" near me but that was the point. Aragorn wanted Leiawyn there so someone would always keep an eye on her.
Rachel: Aragorn does look rather..um...grimy. We will see the quick temper that Eomer is supposable known for, in this chapter. So it would be best if Aragorn hid.
Disclaimer: I only own Leiawyn and my plot twists.

Eowyn: Wrong order of words, Shelly. “Twisted plot” would do better, if you take my meaning.

Leiawyn ran with tears streaming down her face. She reached the outer edge of camp when the guards blocked her path, telling her it was unsafe to go any farther.

Pippin (as a guard): So go ahead, miss! Run!

She turned on her heels and walked a little ways into the trees so they would not see her cry. She could not believed Aragorn hit her.

Mouth (coldly): Oh, really? Then you should have kept your stupid mouth shut!

She knew she was out of line, saying what she did, but she figured he would get mad, and maybe walk away after a few harsh words. Never did the thought of him hitting her cross her mind.

Kraut: And that’s because you should mind what you say, kids. Otherwise you may get hurt.

Reaching up and touching her left cheek, she felt it swelling already and hurt to touch. 'Great, how am I going to hide this from everyone?'

Faramir (as Eomer): What has happened to you, Leiawyn?
Kätchen (as Leiawyn): I ran against a door.
Faramir (as Eomer): But there are no doors out here!
Kätchen (as Leiawyn): It dropped from the sky! Seriously!


she thought as she slid down the tree she was leaning on and slumped to the floor.
"Leia? What are you doing back here alone? Do you know how dangerous this is?" Came a voice from behind her. Leiawyn knew that voice, it belong to the one person who always seemed to know where she was.

Kraut: Santa Claus?
Kätchen: Hercule Poirot?
Pippin: The Great Eye?
Mouth (sighing): I wish…


Leiawyn quickly brushed the tears from her face and pulled down some hair to cover the swollen cheek. Eomer walked over to where she was sitting and squatted in front of her. He knew in an instant something was wrong.

Faramir (deadpan): Because he was a psychic.

The first night she laid sleeping in his tent, he watched her and memorized every part of her face down to the last freckle.

(Snickers.)
Eowyn (as Eomer): The twenty-sixth at right is the prettiest one.
Kätchen: Someone should give a hint to Guinness Records. First he can steal souls, then he’s a hypnotist and now he has a photograph memory!


He could tell she had been crying and noticed her hair hung in her face, when she always wore it pulled back. He reached up to tuck her hair behind her ears, and she jerked back in pain when he grazed her cheek.

Mouth (dryly): Seems he’s as gentle as ever.

"What happened?" He asked as the moon light reflected off her left cheek,

Faramir: So that is why she glowed?
Eowyn: She’s made from metal or glass?


he could see now that it was swollen.
"Nothing." Leiawyn replied softly avoiding his gaze.
"Do not nothing me! I know something happened, now tell me!" His voiced filled with anger.

Pippin (sarcastically): I can imagine what a lovely husband he will make.
Eowyn: Well, he doesn’t get mad at Lothiriel that easily. Mainly because there’s seldom any reason to get angry at all.


"I said something I shouldn't have to Aragorn. He got mad. It was an accident!"

Kraut (as Leiawyn, dumb voice): His hand just leaped on my face all of sudden!

Leiawyn looked up at him finally and was terrified by what she saw. He had stood up to his full height and even in the dark, Leiawyn could see his eyes blazing with anger.

Kätchen: And lit a cigarette from them.

Without a word he headed in the direction of where Aragorn was staying. Stories Leiawyn had heard while at the Riders camp flashed through her mind. She had listened, through the thin fabric of the tent, to tales of Eomer's quick and heated temper.

Faramir: If so, I wonder why she still drools over him.
Eowyn: All women don’t like the calm and thoughtful types like you are, my dear.
Faramir (shrugging): There’s no accounting of tastes.


'Aragorn!' She raced after Eomer to try and prevent him from doing something terrible.
"Eomer! Stop! Eomer!" He walked forth with out heeding her, his hand on his sword. As they passed other Riders, Leiawyn heard them whisper, wondering what had anger the man so much. "Eomer listen to me! You can't do this! It was an accident!" She grabbed his arm and he shook her off.
Aragorn and Legolas were sitting a little ways ahead. Aragorn looked up and saw Eomer coming towards him with Leiawyn following and knew what this was about. He stood quickly, as did Legolas, prepared to face the consequences of his actions.

Pippin: That would be congratulations and a tap on the shoulder if there’s any justice in the world.

Leiawyn tried to stop Eomer and reason with him once more.

Mouth: Bad move. How can you reason with someone who has no reason?
Eowyn (indignantly): A-hem!
Mouth (with a calm look): I meant the ‘Eomer’ of this story, so calm down, tomboy.


Without a word he raised his hand and signaled a Rider.

Faramir (deadpan): …feeling pleased of that he always remembered to carry a whole set of signal flags with him.

The Rider walked over and grabbed Leiawyn pinning her arms to her side.

Kraut (sarcastically): Ahh, the young love! When Eomer is not himself grabbing or manhandling her he orders someone else to do that. That’s what I call tenderness.

He wasn't hurting her,

Eowyn: Damn!

so all she could do was stand there and watched the scene unfold before her.
"What kind of man hits a woman?!"

Pippin (as Aragorn): Technically speaking, no kind of man, since that Sue isn’t really a woman at all but a minion of evil.

Eomer demanded as he stopped less than a feet away from Aragorn. Legolas looked at Leiawyn and she knew he would stop things if they got out of hand, but she prayed that no one would end up dead.
"That is between me and Leiawyn. It was an accident." Aragorn tried to reason with Eomer.

Mouth: Signally failing, however.

He saw the anger that flashed in the tall Rider's eyes, and had to admit he was unsure of how this would end.
"An accident! An Accident! That was no accident! If things were different, and we were not going to war, I would have slayed

Kraut: ‘Slain’, Shelly, ‘slain’.
Kätchen: Back to school, Shelly.


you without warning. Yet there are things you must do still. So I will inform you of how things will be from now on."

Faramir (as Eomer): Well, at Mondays from 6 am to 7 am there’s breakfast, and after that free time until 8 am when we will battle a little with Orcs, followed by lunch at 12…

Eomer paced in front of Aragorn. A crowd had gathered to watch the two men. "You are to stay away from Leiawyn. She WILL go back to Rohan with me.

Eowyn (sarcastically): So considerate of you not to ask her if she wants that or not.

She will never go with you anywhere, and you will not send her back to Gondor. If you ever lay another hand on her,

Pippin (as Aragorn): So I am still allowed to hit her with the same hand as before?

you will die a painful slow death. I can promise you that." The two men's eyes locked

Kraut (deadpan): Sadly, the key was missing. A locksmith had to be called.

for a moment then Eomer turned and left, causing the crowd to jump out of his way as he went.
As he walked by Leiawyn, he grabbed her hand dragging her behind him.

Kätchen (as caveman!Eomer): Me tough and strong. Me show the Sue who the boss!

He said nothing as they walked to the other side of the camp he was staying at. Once they reached his bedding he let go of Leiawyn and she sat down on his blanket. He continued to stand, pacing in a small circle.
"I'm guessing that is your favorite thing to do."

Faramir (as Eomer, dumb voice): Huh, what?
Eowyn (as Leiawyn): Tyrannizing me, of course!
Faramir (as Eomer): Oh, that? Well, that is only a matter of course since in this fic I am in any case only a bullying moron.


Leiawyn finally spoke up trying to lighten the mood.
"What is?" Eomer looked at her as he paced.
"Pacing. I have seen you pace at least once a day. If there were orcs following us, your pacing would throw them off course for awhile."

Pippin: And that was supposed to be a joke?

Eomer stopped and looked at her like she had grown a second head.

Mouth (thoughtfully): That wouldn’t be such a bad thing, after all. At least her brainpower would double in an instant and she needs that badly.
Kraut: Mr. Mouthy, I beg to differ. With two heads she would also blabber her idiotic lines double as much.
Mouth: You have a point, boy.


However, she could still see the anger in his eyes. "You cannot forbid me from being with Aragorn. He has been in my life for as long as I can remember. He was one of my father's best friends. He is a good man, and the only thing resembling a family I have left.."

Kätchen: How about your brother, Leiawyn?
Faramir: She really needs treatment for her memory issues. First she speaks of her brother and the next day she doesn’t even remember him. Hell, she doesn’t even remember his name! It’s as if he never even had one… (Pauses suddenly and glances thoughtfully at Mouth)
Mouth: What? Oh, no… (indignantly) I most emphatically deny all possible kinship with that twit! I never even had a sister!
Pippin: How about that name thing, then?
Mouth (shrugs): Well, I once had one, I just don’t happen to remember it anymore. One cannot be supposed to recall all insignificant details, you know.
The others (exchange perplexed glances.)


Once more Eomer paced, widening his radius.
"Good man! If he is a good man then I am a saint.

Kraut: Hmm… Saint Eomer… Somehow it doesn’t sound too holy.
Kätchen: Well, so don’t St. Widukind or St. Scholastica, either, if we want to be nit-picky. But: “Not does a name dishonour a man but the man can dishonour the name.”


I do not care if he was your father's best friend, I don't want you around him."
"You don't know what I said to him. If you knew then you would understand!" Leiawyn stood and faced Eomer. His six foot frame towering over her 5'5.

Pippin: Which is a fact that interests us immensely… or not.

"Ok then try me.

Kätchen: Joachim, you remember when you were kid and sometimes went to a toy store?
Kraut: Yeah, why?
Kätchen: Because Eomer reminds me of those toy packages where it read “Try me” next to a button.
Kraut (laughing): Oh yeah! And then they let a funny sound out or something.


I want to understand what you could have said that would have given him a reason to hit you. For the idea is lost on me."

Mouth: Well, in this fic pretty much all ideas seem to be above your head.

"I told him that he was jealous of me and you. I told him that Arwen left him to die alone." Her eyes were down casted as she remembered the look that crossed Aragorn's face. Even as she remembered the words leaving her mouth she felt like she was slapped all over again.

Eowyn (hopefully): Because Aragorn had returned and decided to vent some more anger?

"Who is Arwen? What does she have to do with Aragorn?" Now it was Leiawyn's turn to pace, so Eomer sat down where she had been earlier.
"Arwen is an elf. Aragorn lived with her in Rivendell and over time they fell in love. She pledged to live a mortal life with him before he set out with the others.

Pippin (dryly): I wonder what Elrond or Arwen would have said if they knew that Aragorn told all that business to a girl who would gossip about it to the next comer.

Then the day the Fellowship was to leave, he told her that he couldn't let her live a mortal life with him.

Faramir: Huh? I have heard nothing of this and I am one of Elessar’s friends.
Kraut: The movie, yet again.


It broke her heart and his. Now she is heading to the Gray Havens and left him here alone. My words to him were like salt in an open wound." Leiawyn kneeled in front of Eomer taking his hands in hers. "Maybe slapping me was out of line, but I brought it on myself.

Eowyn: Definitely. Keep that in your little mind.

I'm not asking you to forgive him. I'm asking you to tolerate him. For me, please?"
Eomer looked into those pale blue eyes he had come to love, and felt his anger melt.

Pippin: Then he poured it into a mould and hammered it in shape.
The others: Huh?
Mouth: Come on, midget, you can do better. That was just random.


Aragorn meant a lot to Leiawyn, and while he could not understand completely why Aragorn slapped her, he understood it better now then before. He knew if something happened and Leiawyn left him to die alone, anyone who spoke of it would surely ignite anger within him.

(Snickers.)
Kätchen: Wow, Eomer really should carry a “Danger! Combustible material!”-sign around his neck.
Kraut: Yeah, what with these flaming eyes and igniting anger and all he practically is a living Molotov’s cocktail.


"I can't not forgive him right now. However, for your sake I will tolerate him. Maybe through this war he can redeem himself."

Faramir (sarcastically): Yep. The whole damn war was arranged just that Aragorn could make amends for disciplining a rude girl. Makes perfect sense.

Eomer gave in and Leiawyn threw herself at him, knocking him to the ground, and gave him a big hug and kiss.
Their moment was interrupted by a shadow that fell over the camp. Looking up Eomer saw a winged creature and heard several of his men crying out.

Eowyn: Well, the Nazgûl chose the perfect moment to appear, just before this got too… romantic.

He quickly rolled over and covered Leiawyn with his body, afraid of what the creature might do.

Pippin: Don’t worry, Eomer, I think not even a Fellbeast or Black Rider would want to touch Leiawyn.

He felt Leiawyn draw in close to him and hold her breath. As quickly as the shadow appeared, it was gone. Eomer pulled back and looked at Leiawyn, her eyes were wide with fear.
"What was that?" Leiawyn asked as Eomer got to his feet.
"A Nazgul. Though I have yet to see one in the air.

Kraut: Or on ground for that matter.
Kätchen: Well, in this fic he’s a psychic.


We must find Gandalf." He helped Leiawyn up and together they went back to the part of camp Gandalf was in. Once they reached where he was suppose to be, It was too late, he was already gone with Pippin.

Faramir: And thanked his luck that he was finally far from the Sue.

**********************************************************************

Kraut (singing): Twinkle, twinkle, little star…

Word was sent throughout the camp to be ready to leave at once. The king wanted to travel in the cover of darkness, which provided a little bit of safety. Eomer and Leiawyn separated so he could help ready his men and she could gather her things. Leiawyn picked up her pack and walked to where her horse was kept. After she secured the pack to it, she mounted her horse and trotted over to where Aragorn and the others were.

Mouth (as Aragorn): Have had not enough, eh? Coming for some more beating, wench?

"Leiawyn I'm sorry." Aragorn apologized once she was close enough. He would have given anything to take back what he did.
"I'm sorry too. Let's just forget about it." Leiawyn gave Aragorn a smile to let him know she understood and was not mad.
"We can, but can Eomer? I don't want him angry that we are talking. I also don’t want to live in fear of him killing me in my sleep. "

Eowyn (angrily): Again, he is not an assassin nor does he behave like an Orc!

Aragorn saw Eomer talking to the king, and knew he hadn't seen Leiawyn and Aragorn together.
"I spoke to him about what happen. He understands it better and will be civil to you. Though he does not trust you completely yet."

Pippin: Which is bullshit. I was there long enough so that I noticed Eomer had anything but suspicions towards Strider.

She followed Aragorn's gaze and saw Eomer and the king. Even from a distance, she could see both men were deeply troubled.

Kätchen (as Leiawyn): So sweet! They are worried about my safety.
Kraut (as Aragorn): Erm, I really think that they are more worried about the coming battle. No offense.


At that moment Eomer looked over in Leiawyn's direction and mounting his horse, headed their way. She held in her breath as he got closer and prayed that he would not lose his temper again.

Mouth: If he did, his temper could keep company for his likewise lost reason.

Eomer stopped his horse by Leiawyn's and looked at Aragorn, his expression stern but not hostel.

Kraut (as a TV ad announcer): Come and spend your holiday in Eomer’s Expression Hostel! Interiors are stern but functional, the perfect choice for a demanding traveller!

"We are leaving now." He spoke nothing more.
The King rode up with the remaining Riders, and the company set out with Leiawyn between Aragorn and Eomer. They had just passed the mounds at the Fords of Isen when a scout rode up to the king and informed him that there were riders coming their way. The company halted and Aragorn dismounted and drew his sword, standing near the king.

Faramir: Because after meeting the Sue he was so suicidically depressed that he would have fought horsemen while himself dismounted.

Eomer and his esquire rode to the back leaving Leiawyn with Legolas and Gimli. A sound of hooves filled the darkness and shapes were seen traveling over the Fords. Eomer's voice rang out in the darkness causing Leiawyn to jump.
*"Halt! Halt! Who rides in Rohan?"

Kraut (as one of the ‘shapes’): Pizza delivery, of course! Who ordered one with salami and double cheese?

The shadows stopped and one rider was seen dismounting. Leiawyn felt the tension in the air and feared that a battle was going to break out. She was so worried about a fight that she didn't notice Legolas whisper to her horse, until the horse turned and walked back into the edge of the trees, much to her protest. She knew Legolas was worried about her, but now she couldn't even hear what was being said.

Kätchen: Good. Whatever it is it isn’t your business in any way.

Even when she tried to dismount the horse bucked so she would hang on tighter. 'Stupid elves!' she though as she watched from her spot in the trees.
Eomer and the man were speaking and then Leiawyn saw Aragorn run and embrace the man. They spoke for awhile then Aragorn turned to the riders to speak to them. Leiawyn strained to hear what was being said, but to no avail. The king must have giving the mysterious riders permission to join them,

Mouth (as Theoden): Whoever you fellows are you cannot be worse company than that girl, so just come along.

because the next thing Leiawyn knew Legolas came and got her saying they were heading out once more.
"I hope you are not angry for what I did earlier. I was just worried about your well being."

Eowyn (as Leiawyn): Being what? ‘My well’? Are you trying to use a dumb euphemism or what?
Faramir (as Legolas): Nope, I just can’t anymore use compound nouns properly, because of Shelly.


Legolas explained as they rejoined the group.
"No, I understand. Though I would like a little warning next time. You do always seem to cause me problems." Legolas smiled and said he would warn her next time he did something like that. Leiawyn saw the twinkle in his eyes and knew he was lying.

Pippin: Strange, I thought the faces of the Elves are quite beyond reading.

"Why does that voice sound familiar?" Leiawyn turned at the sound of the question and saw

Kraut: The Lone Ranger with the faithful Tonto.

Halbarad Dunadan a ranger friend of her fathers.

Kätchen (grinning): Close enough, Joachim.
Faramir: Wow, Leiawyn’s dad knew everyone!


"Halbarad! What are you doing here?" She reached out and grabbed his hand. Any Ranger was family in her eyes and he was the closest to her after Aragorn.
"I have come here to help. What are you, a daughter of a Ranger,

Pippin: Hey, I finally figured why Aragorn was supposed to be Sue-daddy’s friend! Shelly has mixed up the Rangers of North and those of Ithilien.
Mouth: Damn it, you must be right! Seems she has failed to read some books.


doing here?" He squeezed her hand as he took the place between her and Aragorn.
"I came to tell Aragorn of my father's passing and got caught up in all of this." Halbarad looked at her cheek in the moonlight, and handed her a leaf from his pack and told her to place it on it.

Mouth (as Halbarad): Little does she know that it is poisonous. Mwahahaha!

She did as she was told and knew that the bruise would be gone in a couple of hours. "Thank you."
Eomer and his men had ridden a little ways a head to give the Rangers a chance to talk in private. Leiawyn took the opportunity to speak a little more to Halbarad. She learned her brother was alive and with another group of Rangers,

Faramir (perplexed): In Eriador? What was he, a deserter from my Rangers or what?

this pleased her very much. He then turned to Aragorn and the two caught up on what was going on in the north. Leiawyn forgot how great it was to be surrounded by Rangers and listened intently to all they had to say. She even tried to listen to Legolas and the two elves, Elrohir and Elladan talk in elvish. The new company had lightened her mood and she was almost completely happy.
***********************************************************************

Kraut (nerdy voice): Astronomy is cool!

After a few hours of riding they reached the Hornburg. It was already recovering from the battle, as men were seen cleaning and rebuilding. Leiawyn slept for awhile once they stopped, then woke to hunger pains in her stomach. She went in search of the meal hall and found it without much difficulty. In it she found Eomer and the king sitting at a table eating. She walked up and Eomer stood to get her some food while she sat down across from the king.

Kätchen: After which Theoden ordered her to be thrown out. No peasant would have been allowed to dine with a King.

"So I see you have managed to capture my nephew's heart.

Eowyn (as Theoden): Now give it back, double-quick!

I must tell you many have tried, but none were able to achieve what you have. I never knew Gondor had such beautiful maidens.

Faramir (dryly): Not even though you were born and raised in Gondor?

It is no surprise that he fell for you."

Pippin (as Theoden): He has always had a bad taste.

Leiawyn felt her cheeks burning. For this was only the second time in her life someone had called her beautiful.
"Thank you, your Highness. You are too kind. I only hope I can keep his attention, for I fear I am a rather boring woman."

All: Indeed!

She looked down at her hands unable to meet the King’s eye. She feared he would tell her that it was true.
"Nonsense! I see how he looks at you, and I have seen that look once before.

Mouth (as Theoden): Where was that again? Oh, yes, it was the last time Eomer laid his eyes on Grima Wormtongue.

My sister use to look at Eomer's father in that manner. Trust me my dear girl, you have nothing to fear." Leiawyn smiled and saw Eomer returning with her food.

Kraut: Seems the Royal House of Rohan had some budget troubles if they didn’t even have servants for that.
Kätchen: Kids, taking foreign short-term loans isn’t wise. Raising taxes is better option.


She ate, telling the King and Eomer of her land, her family, and her friends.

Faramir: During which both men were immensely bored since they knew already all of Gondor, it being the neighbouring realm and all.

A few minutes later, Merry, Legolas, and Gimli appeared and the conversation changed to Merry. After some debate on whether there was any battle gear in his size, Merry laid his sword at the king feet and swore his service to the king. Leiawyn smiled at the brave gesture from such a small person.

Eowyn: Don’t get too cocky, Leiawyn! He achieved something you couldn’t even dream of.
Mouth (under his breath): That miserable sneaking backstabber…


Then Legolas, Gimli, and Merry joined the King, Eomer and Leiawyn at the table eating and the talk changed to lighter subjects.
*" It is near the hour that we set for our going, lord" Eomer spoke. "Shall I bid men sound the horns? But where is Aragorn? His place is empty and he has not eaten."
*"We will make ready to ride," said Theoden; "but let word be sent to the Lord Aragorn that the hour is nigh."

Pippin: Actually it was a bad move from Shelly to include these Red Book excerpts in her fic. They only illustrate just how bad author she really is.

Everyone rose when they were done eating, and went to the gate of the Burg, except for Eomer, where the Riders were assembled. Leiawyn had never seen so many horses, and knew it was a great army they were setting out with.

Kraut: No shit, Sherlock!

She heard that a thousand riders had set out at night and now there were five hundred to go with the king. It was finally sinking in at just how big a battle this will be.

Kätchen: In any case way too big for your health, miss Sue. So stay out of way and let us read of the real heroes of the Ring War.

After a few minutes Eomer appeared with Aragorn. She could tell Eomer was starting to forgive Aragorn, for the two acted like they had when they first met, like good friends.
They walked over to the king and Aragorn spoke to him in a quiet tone. Leiawyn watched from her place atop her horse, unable to hear once again.

Mouth: Seriously, Leiawyn, see a healer. You are obviously going deaf.

She saw Eomer and several Riders look at Aragorn with fear and got off her horse, walking over to them. Something Aragorn said upset the king,

Pippin (as Aragorn, little kid voice): I have a bigger sword than you! Na-na-na!
Faramir (as Theoden): That’s just mean! I won’t play with you ever again!


Eomer and any Rider within ear shot. When she reached them Aragorn turned to her and spoke, his eyes emotionless.
"Leiawyn. I have to go. I must hurry and have to take the Paths of the Dead."

Eowyn: Well, if it meant he got rid of her company I can now see why he was so intent on going.

Leiawyn's knees went weak. No man had come through the Paths alive.

Pippin: And how was she supposed to know anything of the Paths since they were known in Rohan only?

"The Paths of the Dead, but that is suicide. We'll all die!"

Mouth (bursts in laughter.)
Kraut: What?
Mouth: I just got a mental picture of Leiawyn screaming that line and running around like a headless chicken.
Kraut (tries to picture that and laughs also.)


He placed a hand on her shoulder and looked into her eyes.
"It is a possibility for those who go. That is why you are not going.

Eowyn: Why not, Aragorn? You could make her walk first as a bait for the ghosts.

You are to go with Eomer and the Riders to Dunharrow where the Lady Eowyn waits,

Eowyn: Wait a minute! Am I also to be degraded in this miserable excuse for a story?
Faramir: It seems so all too much.


and there you will stay until this war is over." His tone of voice was strict, like a father telling his daughter to be in before dark.

Kraut (as Aragorn): Mind you, young lady, be home at nine o’clock sharp or face the consequences!

"The Riders? Then it is the Rangers and our company that is going to the Paths? I want to go also!" She did not want to be left behind with all the other maidens of Rohan.

Pippin: ‘cause she was so very very speshul and better than them.

“I’m part of that company!”

Faramir: Since when? I, at least, haven’t read anything about enrolling you into the Rangers.

"You cannot." He signaled her horse over and tried to put her on it, but she resisted pulling away from him. "Leiawyn. You are to go to Dunharrow. Now get on your horse!"
"No! I will not be left behind to wait for news of your death. I want to go!"
Aragorn looked past her to Eomer who had mounted his horse already. "Aragorn you can't leave me alone!

Eowyn (as Aragorn): Oh, yes, I can. Gladly and easily, too.

The Riders will leave me also! I can fight!" Aragorn grabbed her around the waist and lifted her up, handing her to Eomer.

Pippin (grinning): Her rag-doll mode kicked in once again.

"I will see you again, and so will the others. I love you Leiawyn." He said before letting her go.
“You can’t leave me! Aragorn please!” She tried to get off the horse.
Eomer placed her in front of him and wrapped his arms around her, holding her in place. Theoden sent the Riders on their way and Leiawyn looked back as Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and the Rangers watched the Riders depart. Her heart was heavy as she felt that this was the last time she would lay eyes on the closest thing to a family she had.

Kraut: Yet again forgetting her poor brother.
Kätchen: Well, I wouldn’t be so sorry for the lad. He probably doesn’t care too much for her.


Eomer squeezed her tighter and Leiawyn closed her eyes, praying that everything would turn out for the best.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kraut (singing): Volga, Volga, our mother…

A/N: That one took awhile to write.

Mouth: And was complete waste of valuable time.

I hope it was good.

Faramir: I guess I had better not to comment.

Next up Leiawyn meets Eowyn and the two DO NOT hit it off.

Eowyn (pleased): Good. Very good. At least I may be sensible in this.
Pippin: As Treebeard would say: “Do not be hasty.” The Suethor may yet surprise you…

(All exit.)


"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

10. Wormtongue's Evil

A/N: Sorry for the delay. I've been arguing with my brain

(Laughter.)
Faramir: Well, this starts nicely!
Pippin: Wow, now even Shelly’s brains have turned against her!


because it is ready to go to this one part now, you know what I'm talking about Rachel,

Eowyn: Rachel may know, but could you explain it to us also, please?

but I still have like 2 chapters before that part comes up. Also I've been working on the conflict in this chapter I want it to be believable,

Kraut: It surely won’t be anything of the kind if my instincts are right.

and not out of place. Also this is A/U

Mouth: As Apish and Utter Shit.

and a Mary Sue. I want to say thank you to all the reviewers! I have 40 reviews and that makes me soo happy!
Rondrah: Thank you soo much for everything!
Numenorean hobbit: Please read the whole story before reviewing, I have answered your Strigorn thing before. Hello! Aragorn was a Ranger and Leiawyn's father was a Ranger that is how they know each other.

Kätchen: Only, there are two kinds of Rangers in LotR, wholly unrelated.
Kraut (sighing): And she claims to have read the book.


Also I'm not paying that much attention to all the book details like exact dates and length between events. I'm just to lazy and more concerned on the development of Leiawyn and Eomer's relationship.

Faramir: Which, sadly, is just the thing that interests us the least.

I have stated that my character is a Mary Sue so you offer no real insight on the matter. Already addressed the beta and research thing in replies to many flames.

Kraut: Read: “to my bratty tantrums over constructive criticism. You all r like so MEAN!1!!!111 Fuck u!!!123!!!

Sorry if I sound harsh but I get tired of answering the same questions and flames over and over.
Arwen: Wow, my story is awesome.

Eowyn: How deluded can one possibly get?

There are way too few Eomer fics, which leads me to another thing. One of my first and loyal reviewers, Rachel, has begun her own Eomer fic and it is off to an amazing start so PLEASE check out her fic, "Sunset on the Plain".

Pippin: Oh no, if Deusexmachina reads this he may send that one to us!

You won't be sorry. I forgot how much he was in the book and then when I read it after seeing the movie I was sooo mad. I wanted more Eomer, but you have to admit he looked good saving the day at the end. I'm glad you liked where I left off. I try to end each chapter where it leads into the next.
Everlong: Hopefully it is both! I soo wanted Eomer to kick Aragorn's a**, but then it would totally change the LOTR plot.

Kätchen (flabbergasted): She actually realizes that?
Mouth: Maybe there’s still hope for her.


I would be attacked by Aragorn lovers and then I would run out of smart a** replies for the flames.

Kraut: Sad. Then you maybe would even have to listen them.

Oh everyone else, Everlong is the writer of "Sunset on the Plain" so check out her story!
Tara: No physical violence sorry. I wanted it but that would start a whole new war. I like Aragorn

Faramir: So do I, because of which I am pained to see how his personality is being mangled in this abomination.

so I made Leiawyn's words harsh to help defend his actions. Though Eomer still doesn't like him, which we will see in this chapter.
Welsh-dragoon: I aim to please. I like you fic I think it is funny I hope you update it soon!
Disclaimer: I only own Leiawyn and my nice, disturbing plot.

(Snickers from the audience.)
Pippin: Disturbing, that’s just the word!


Leiawyn sat in silence in front of Eomer, she had not spoken since they left Helm‘s Deep. Her heart was torn in two

Eowyn: Wow, that’s one unusual heart condition! How does she still live?

and she felt lost and alone. Here she was riding with the man she had come to love more then she ever thought possible, yet her heart was with others.

Kraut: Er, isn’t that kind of…
Kätchen: Paradoxical? It is.


Growing up, she had heard many tales of the Paths of the Dead

Pippin: I thought she was a Gondorian. How has she heard any Rohirric tales?
Mouth (deadpan): Denethor let her look at his palantir from time to time.
Pippin: Huh?
Mouth: Well, since everyone else in this fic was the buddy of her father why not the old Steward?


and none of them were good. Aragorn had been like a father to her, and in the short time she had know them, Leiawyn accepted the members of the fellowship as family.

Kraut: Red Sue alert! Red Sue alert!
Faramir: Hmm, that sounds too much like that annoying Shadow…
Eowyn: Well, at least Boromir wasn’t a rapist this time.


Pain filled her heart at the thought of them riding to their deaths. Looking at the land before her, she suddenly realized that it was still dark.

(Laughter.)
Mouth: What a genius! Seriously, this woman stole the heart of Eomer? Was he drunk or on drugs?


"Eomer? Isn't it time for the sun to be up?"

Kraut (as Leiawyn): Because my brand new digital watch tells so.

She asked glancing up at him, his features were grim.
"Yes, it is time. But I fear that it will not rise today, or the next for that matter." Then it dawned on Leiawyn, this was the start of the final battle. Sauron was making his move.

Faramir: No shit!
Kätchen (deadpan): Or maybe he was only having a huge barbecue party in Mordor. Those grills sure smoke sometimes.


"Oh. So do you really plan on leaving me in Dunharrow? I could go with you to Gondor, go home."

Kraut: E.T. go home.

Her voice was pleading.
"You are staying at Dunharrow and you have no say in the matter.

Pippin (as Eomer): Because I am the boss now! You had better to get used to it before we get married.

The farther from Gondor you are the safer you'll be. My sister will be there to keep you company."

Eowyn (grits her teeth): And what a warm welcome I would give to her in reality…

Eomer smiled at the picture that entered his mind. Leiawyn and Eowyn safe in Dunharrow, greeting him when he returns. The two most important women in his life. He could see them becoming best friends, almost like sisters.

Mouth (dryly): I think Eowyn would have something to say to that, too.

If Middle Earth survived, if he survived, he planned to make them sisters by marriage.
"What are you smiling about?"

Faramir (as Eomer): Just thinking how much I can command and drag you about when we’ve married. That will be fun!

He had a gleam in his eyes.
"I was just thinking of how well you and my sister will get along."
Leiawyn said nothing. She had always had a problem getting along with other women. They were always superficial

Eowyn: So sad, since surely Leiawyn is lyke so totally the deepest character evah!

and gossiped about everything.

Pippin: Hypocrite. By her lines this far she has avidly listened to every gossip.

She preferred to keep her private life, private.

Kraut: That, of course, didn’t stop her sticking her nose for example to Lou’s affairs with Boromir.

Eomer looked so happy at the thought of the two women becoming friends, that Leiawyn sat in silence and watched the river they were traveling along, instead of bursting his bubble.

Kätchen: No wonder she doesn’t get along with other women. (Shakes her head) Leiawyn, Leiawyn, if your initial reaction to meeting someone is that she is a jerk until otherwise proven you won’t get too many friends.

Maybe Eowyn will be different then most women.

Eowyn (proudly): That I verily am!
Mouth (sneering): Yes, at least you are worse to keep the commands of your superiors than most women. Remember who deserted her post in Dunharrow?
Eowyn: Shut up, will you?


***********************************************************************

Kraut (singing): I'm dreaming of a white Christmas...

As the Riders continued their journey, hundreds more joined them here and there.

Pippin (sarcastically): Here and There obviously being the biggest cities of Rohan, after Edoras.

The army grew to the thousands. After two days they finally reached Dunharrow. Leiawyn saw a woman waiting for them on a horse. She looked like Eomer and Leiawyn knew it was Eowyn, from the look on her face, Eowyn was not pleased at the sight of Leiawyn ridding with Eomer.

Eowyn: Well, who would be pleased about that her brother was about to marry a total stranger he had known for a week or so?
Faramir: But that would be logical, my dear! Shelly just can’t have that!


Eowyn greeted the King and Eomer, but never spoke a word to Leiawyn. ‘Ok never mind, she is like all other women’ Leiawyn thought.

Mouth (with sarcasm): Which she was able to deduce in exactly two minutes. What knowledge of human mind! What deep analysis!
Kraut: I wonder why should she had greeted Leiawyn? The Sue is not one of her family nor royalty, or have I missed something?


After a short conversation it was known that Aragorn and the others had come and gone while the Riders were still traveling to Dunharrow.
"Do you know where he went?" Leiawyn asked

Kätchen (as Eowyn): To Disneyland. Where else?

with hope that they chose a different route. A darkness covered Eowyn's face at the question.
"Yes. He went to the Paths of the Dead. What concern of yours is he?" Eowyn's voice was cold.

Faramir: Probably because the Sue forgot to add ‘my lady’. Peasants are peasants and princesses are princesses, after all.

"He is a good friend. Why should our relationship matter to you?" Leiawyn was already beginning to dislike this woman. She knew right away that Eowyn was smitten by Aragorn.

Eowyn (bursting out): Smitten? I was in love with him! I tried to get myself killed because of my despair and now Shelly writes of it as I was a disappointed teenager! This is outrageous!
Faramir (coughing a little): My love, I agree with you in part. But don’t you have to admit your feelings were a bit… unhealthy?
Eowyn (calming down): Yes, it is true, I loved more his glory and fame than the man behind them. Still, this can’t be tolerated! Shelly writes of my despair as if it was only a little infatuation.
Kraut: Speaking of which, the Sue seems to be a some kind of psychic. She can even read thoughts!
Kätchen: Maybe that’s a compensation for that she can’t form any of her own.


Eowyn didn't have time to reply, for Eomer told them they needed to go and rest, the Riders would be leaving tomorrow. The group traveled in silence until they reached the king's pavilion, at which point they went to their separate sleeping quarters. Since Aragorn was not around Leiawyn was to stay in Eomer's tent for the night.

Pippin (amazed): What? They are unmarried! Surely Theoden couldn’t allow this, at least not that publicly.

Leiawyn was sitting on the ground, getting her blanket out of her pack, when Eomer told her they were to eat with the King, Merry, and Eowyn.
"I wish to stay here and sleep. I do not want company tonight." Eomer could see how tired Leiawyn looked and didn't argue. He didn’t know that Leiawyn had no desire to be near his sister.

Eowyn: The feeling is mutual, I assure you.

"Ok, then I will bring you something to eat later." He kissed her forehead and left.
Once she was alone Leiawyn laid down and tried to rest, she was never felt so tired in her life. After about an hour she heard Eomer and Eowyn’s voices,

Mouth (as Eowyn): When are you going to dump that bitch, Eomer?
Kraut (as in-character-Eomer): Oh, very soon. She is so boring and annoying. I wonder what I ever saw in her.


and could tell they were heading in the direction of his sister's quarters. Leiawyn got to her feet and followed a little ways behind them. She stopped near the entrance to Eowyn's tent and could hear their voices through the fabric.
"I saw the look on your face when you spoke of Aragorn. You have fallen for him haven't you?"

Pippin (turning to Eowyn): I got the impression that Eomer didn’t have a clue until after the Pelennor Fields?
Eowyn: In that you are exactly right. He’s a nice brother but not very sensitive to other’s feelings.


Eomer's voiced carried through the air.
"Maybe I have, so what? It is not your problem."

Faramir (as Eomer): Actually, it is. I am in charge of you along with our uncle.
Kraut: It seems the women’s liberation movement had spread into Rohan pretty early.


Leiawyn could hear Eomer taking a deep breath to calm himself.
"You are my sister, so it is my problem. I will not have you liking such a man. His temper is unacceptable."
Leiawyn could hear Eomer’s heavy footsteps pacing on the ground and it brought a smile to her lips.

Kätchen (as Leiawyn): Oh, how amusing try to develop his character! He has no personality whatsoever yet he still paces around every time he’s agitated!

"Temper? Like you have any room to talk Eomer! You are known throughout our lands for your infamous temper!" Eowyn's voice was getting louder with anger.
"I may have a temper, but I would never strike a woman!" The footsteps stopped.
"Aragorn would never strike a woman!

Mouth: You wanna bet?
Faramir: Well, not in reality but in this story…


That is not the kind of man he is! Who is this, woman, he struck?" Eowyn looked at her brother with a pretty good idea as to who it was. That thing he brought back here with him.

Pippin (applauds): Bravo! That’s the best epithet for the Sue this far.
Mouth: Yeah, that cardboard doll doesn’t even deserved to be called a human.


"He struck Leiawyn." Eomer saw his sister’s features darken at Leiawyn‘s name and knew the two would have problems getting along.

Kraut: Surprise, surprise!
Kätchen: So much for his cloud castles, then.


"That...that peasant you brought with you? I hardly think she counts as a woman. What is she a lowly stable girl?" Eomer took a step towards his sister. Now he was getting an idea of how Aragorn felt at Leiawyn’s words.

Mouth (smiling): Truth hurts, Eomer, doesn’t it?

"Do not speak of her in such a manner. You have no place to talk about others class. If I'm not mistaken, you had that long affair with Hamothen, who was a farmer.

All (stare.)
Eowyn (turning red with rage): This is… too much… I will… kill… Shelly!
Faramir (incensed): That’s just a shameful slander!
Mouth (laughing): Well, well, it seems not even the White Lady of Rohan is such a goody goody after all! Who could have guessed?
Eowyn (springs at Mouth who doesn’t even blink. Faramir and Kraut restrain her and she sits down, sulking.)
Mouth (not in the least baffled, grinning): Hey, calm down, tomboy! I know the difference between fiction and reality! I was just joking.
Faramir: Such jests can cost your life, so spare us of them! (Sits down.)


He didn't even own his own farm.

Pippin: Don’t look, Eowyn! It gets even worse…

Leiawyn is the woman I love, and I will not have you speaking ill of her."
"She is poison!

All: Amen!

Look at yourself brother. You have let her poison your mind!

Kraut: Hmm, I wonder if she secretly works for Saruman or Sauron?
Pippin: Well, at least the former seemed to know her.
Kätchen: Yeah, and it was she who killed Kennedy! Oswald was just a dupe.
Kraut: Conspiracy theories are fun, aren’t they?


Before her, you would be with your men and the King planning for war right now. You are the Third Marshal of the Mark and all you care about is some girl you hardly know!" Eowyn threw her hands up in frustration.

Faramir (as Eowyn): That’s it! I give up! But don’t expect a marriage gift from me.
Eowyn (as Eomer): Not even a card? Oh sister, how could you?


“If you do not get rid of her you will die in battle! You will be too distracted to think and it will cost you your life!"

Pippin: Well, in the case of this Stuified Eomer it wouldn’t be that bad after all.

Leiawyn could not stand to hear anymore. She quickly went back to her tent and gathered her things. Eowyn was right about her, about everything.

Kraut: And you remember that!

Leiawyn knew that she was a distraction to Eomer, and she loved him too much to be the cause of his death.

Mouth (darkly): Then kill yourself and stop bothering us.

Eowyn was also right about her being a peasant. Eomer came from noble blood, and even though her father was a Ranger it meant nothing when it came nobility. Even if they wanted to, they could not marry. Securing Eomer's cloak to her neck,

Pippin: Kids, it isn’t nice to steal your ex-boyfriend’s things even if you are splitting up.

Leiawyn left the tent with her pack.
Many of the Riders were asleep so it wasn't difficult for her to move through the sea of people.

Kraut: Until she ran against a submerged rock and foundered. The End.

None of the ones that were awake paid any attention to Leiawyn. Finally she reached where the horses were kept. She grabbed the first one she saw and mounted it. After a swift kick, the horse shot off and carried her far away from Dunharrow, and from Eomer.

Kätchen: Really? This is the end?
Faramir: I would it was, but look, it goes on.
Kätchen (in German): Verdammt!


***********************************************************************

Pippin: And Varda kindled many stars when the Middle-Earth still slept the sleep of Yavanna…

"Lord Eomer! Lord Eomer!" A frantic voice interrupted the two siblings, as a Rider ran into the tent.
"What is it? How dare you interrupt our private conversation." Eomer had and edge in his voice, and he and Eowyn stood side by side waiting for the Rider to catch his breath.
"Lady Leiawyn...

Kätchen (as Eomer): Lady who?

she is gone!" Eomer felt his heart quicken. “Gone? Is she crazy? Does she not know what lurks out there?”
"She was standing outside this tent listening, and then she turned and left. I followed her because she looked upset. The lady went back to your tent, gathered her things, and then stole a horse.

Kraut (as the rider): But don’t worry, I called the cops. They should arrest her any minute now.

I was going to stop her but she was too quick so I came back for you." The Rider hoped Eomer would not be angry at him. He knew he would be no match for the strong Marshal.

Eowyn: For the record, Eomer wasn’t in the habit of beating his soldiers. Nor was anyone else in Rohan or Gondor.
Mouth: Really? How come were they so brave, then? Our Orcs wouldn’t have moved an inch without whips.
Kraut: You really should take a course in employee-friendly management or something.


"Oh Eomer! She must have heard what I said. I'm sorry! I will help you look." Eowyn saw the worry in her brother's eyes and could sense that this girl meant the world to him.

Mouth: Too bad the world didn’t give a shit about her.

Eomer shook his head. "No, I must do this on my own. She is my responsibility, but I only hope I find her before someone else does."
He followed the rider out of the tent and ran to his horse. After finding out what direction Leiawyn had went, he raced after her. While he searched his sister's words played in head.

Kätchen (deadpan): ‘cause his brains had been replaced by a tape recorder.

'She is poison!' He had heard those words spoken before but about someone else. He was trying to think who it was, when he saw a figure sitting on a horse. He could tell it was a woman.
"Leia?" He rode closer, and saw her looking from side to side.

Kraut: Kids, before crossing the street, first look left, then right and again left.

"Eomer go away!" Leiawyn wouldn't look at him.
"Why do you just sit there? Shouldn't you be riding away from here?"

Faramir: Yeah, what do you wait for? Just go away, will you?

Her head fell in shame, and he could hear the defeat in her voice when she spoke.
"Yes, but I don't know where to go. I've never traveled out here before, and I'm scared of getting lost.

Eowyn: How about you just followed the mountains, dumbass? Or are you too stupid to even see them?
Kraut: She is in a serious need of eyeglasses.


That and I fell the presence of evil following me. I panic and just froze, what good am I?"

Pippin: Nothing whatsoever, I assure you.

Something clicked in Eomer.

Kätchen: After which he went psycho and donned a hockey mask. After brutally killing half a dozen dim and horny highschoolers he finally was stopped by a smart and brave teenager.
Kraut: To be continued!


"Wormtongue! HE is poison!" Leiawyn finally looked at Eomer, wondering if he had gone mad.
"What are you talking about?" How Eomer got Wormtongue from what she said, Leiawyn had no idea.

Eowyn: Nor have I, or anyone else.

"Eowyn's words! I know she isn't fond of you, but her words are not her own.

Pippin: Yep. They are Shelly’s. High time to realize that, Eomer.
Faramir: Hmm, this might evolve into “escape from Suethor’s clutches”-story. Sounds pretty modern actually.


I think I know what caused this! Please Leiawyn come back with me." Eomer was right next to Leiawyn and felt her give in. They had gotten so close her could sense things even without her speaking.

Kraut: So he also has superpowers now? What next, “The Amazing Eomer and the Super-Sue”?

"Have I poisoned your mind? Will I be the reason you die?" Her eyes searched his for comfort.
"No. If anything, you will keep me alive.

Mouth (as Eomer): Because I will use you as a human shield! Mwahahahahaha!

You have brought so much to my life that I can't picture it without you. I swear that my sister does not hate you. I only think she is upset, because she has never had to share me before.

Eowyn (as Eomer): Now she has to chop me in half and give the other portion to you. Tough luck.

Plus I think Wormtongue spoke to her about you."

All: Huh?

The two horses turned around and headed back to the camp.

Kraut: Even they were bored by this crappy dialogue.
Pippin: And Eomer and Leiawyn cursed obscenely when they were compelled to run after their mounts.


"Wormtongue? How? He did not know me when he was here." Leiawyn was really confused now. How could someone she had never met spoke of her?

Faramir (in a teacher-voice): Let us take an example. You walk at street and someone sees you across it. Then he comments to his friend: “Look what an ugly woman.” You have been spoken of yet haven’t met the speaker.

"I think he did. Saruman knew of you

Kätchen: And exactly how? Via palantir?
Faramir (dryly): I really think Saruman had more important uses for it than peeping at chicks.
Mouth: Hey, even Sauron did that sometimes! Even we evil guys have to relax at some time.
Faramir: I am sure I don't want to know more.


and he was in a pact with Wormtongue. I bet they tried to poison my sister's mind so if she ever met you, she would kill you.

Eowyn: Actually that wouldn’t have needed any brainwash. If ever I had met as annoying and insolent a peasant chasing after Eomer she would have hanged high.

That would help to start their war between us and Gondor." His voice was heavy as he realized that so much went on right under his nose, and he no inkling of it.
Once they reached the camp they dismounted and headed back to Eowyn's tent. They found her sitting on the cot waiting for them. Her eyes lit up when she saw they were both ok. She was relieved that Leiawyn was ok, but a voice was telling her that is was a bad thing.

Kraut: Seems someone forgot to take her medication.
Kätchen: That, or Tolkien’s ghost decided to step in again.


The same voice that spoke when she first saw Leiawyn riding with Eomer.
"What did Wormtongue tell you about Leiawyn?" Eomer asked as he and Leiawyn sat across from Eowyn at a small table.
"Wormtongue? Nothing he has never met her." Eowyn was confused by this inquiry.
"Sister. Please try and think if he ever mentioned a woman I was going to bring back with me. Has he ever mentioned a woman at all?"
Eowyn had to think hard to remember, she always tried to block Wormtongue out of her memory. She had been quiet for a few minutes when a gasp escaped her lips. The voice in her head!

Eowyn (as herself): Noooo! I have a Suethor inside my head! Go away, go away!

"Yes he did." Eomer and Leiawyn paid close attention to what she said next. “He said that a woman was to come here with you. That she would be evil

Pippin: Seems old Grima wasn’t so dull after all.

and take the ones I love away from me. That she would take you, Eomer, and another away. Aragorn. That she would cloud your judgment and get you killed!" Her eyes got wide and she stood up and began to pace. A trait she and her brother shared.

Kraut: Ladies and gentlemen, see the worst attempt to characterization ever! See famous characters with pointless mannerisms and minds as blank as newly-fallen snow! All this for only 50 cents per person!

"I can't believe I let him get to me! I always swore I would never fall pray to him!"
Eomer stood and grabbed his sister, looking down at her. "It is not your fault. He was a very tricky man and could bend many to his will." Eowyn looked past him at Leiawyn.
"Oh Leiawyn! I'm sorry! I have treated you so horrible and you are the one my brother loves. I have acted so unlike me!"

Kätchen: Actually, now you are even more unlike yourself.

She pulled out of Eomer’s hold and walked over to Leiawyn. “Can you forgive me? Those evil words were not my own."

Mouth (as Eowyn): I bought them from Wal-Mart.

Leiawyn stood and faced the woman. “Of course. Let's just forget it ever happened. Maybe your brother can learn from us and forgive a certain Ranger." The two women embraced, laughing at their own joke, and then looked at Eomer.

All (grimace.)
Faramir: I wonder how many dairies it took to produce that much cheese?
Pippin: That’s the laziest plot device I’ve seen. Come on, a voice in Eowyn’s head is the only thing stopping her from liking the Sue? Please, we are not that stupid!


"I will try to forgive Aragorn. Come Leiawyn lets go to bed." He mumbled realizing he was out numbered.
"Oh no you don't! She is to stay here with me. I will not have you corrupting the poor woman.

Kraut: Only, it goes the other way round.

I also want to learn as much about the woman who is causing my wild brother to settle down, as I can. Now go!"

Kätchen: I really do hope that this is only Eowyn’s plot to get to assassinate Leiawyn.
Mouth: You are not alone, girl.


Eowyn escorted Eomer out of the tent and closed the flap in his face.
As he walked back to his tent he was deep in thought. He was happy that Leiawyn and Eowyn were getting along, but he was beginning to think he might have just created a monster.

Kraut (deadpan): Few did know he had a secret lab in a cave where he experimented with dead bodies.
Kätchen: So Dr. Frankenstein’s first name was Eomer? Interesting.


Little did he know, but at that very moment, the two women were busy working on a plan that will benefit both of their desires.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kraut (singing): Moody river, more deadly than the vainest knife…

A/N: I was going to have the two women fight for awhile but I realized I liked Eowyn too much to make her evil

Eowyn: I, evil? At first sentences it did even seem I was to be decently portrayed. How cruelly one can get disappointed…

for that long. Plus I like the thought of the two women plotting, making Eomer sweat! Please review!

Mouth: What do you think we’ve done all day?
(All exit.)
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

11. Welcome to War

A/N: Sorry for the delay I’m really falling down on the job!

Faramir (curtly): You also are failing in your job, miss.

I hope ya’ll like this chapter! Remember A/U

Mouth: As Appalling and Unacceptable.
Pippin: Isn’t it hard to find fitting words by now?
Mouth: A little. There should be more negative adjectives in English.


and Mary Sue!
Welsh-Dragoon: Trust me there will be some corrupting.

Kraut: Of our brains?

That is how it normally works, everything good happens to others and you get the short end of the stick.

Kätchen: Hmm, that sounds all too familiar. Just look at us, for instance.

At least you still got the day off!
JadeGoddess: I hope that more Eomer fics will pop up

Faramir: So do we.
Eowyn: Namely, if they are of any quality, unlike this.


and he will be added to the list. Please check out Everlong’s fic “Sunset on the Plain”. An excellent Eomer fic!
SailorGurl: Yea! Another new reader! I hope you keep liking the story!!
Lana: Already replied to you in E-mail so I won’t bother here. Though maybe I should change the A/U to S/U. Shelby Universe! That way I can do whatever I want!

Pippin: Anything you wish, just leave Arda alone!

Arwen: I thought that Wormtongue would be as sneaky as possible. I figure Saruman would try anything to cause trouble in Rohan.

Mouth (with a short laugh): He surely wasn’t that desperate as to use a Sue!

I too wonder how they kept in touch. I guess we will never know. Here is more!
Everlong: I’m glad you still love it! I liked making the two women hate each other,

Kraut: So did we, but then you had to ruin everything.

but I knew that they had to get along since Eomer and Eowyn are so close.

Kätchen: How so? I know families where the siblings haven’t been speaking to each other for years.

I’m glad their friendship didn’t seem rushed.

(Laughter. Pippin drops from his chair and coughs on the floor.)
Faramir: Shelly has just the fans she deserves.
Eowyn: Yes, they seem to be even stupider than she! And methinks that is quite an accomplishment in itself.


Disclaimer: I only own Leiawyn and my stupid plot twists!

Pippin: The key word here being ‘stupid’.

Leiawyn and Eowyn stayed up most of the night talking. Leiawyn learned much more about Eomer then she could have imagined.

Kraut (as Leiawyn, stupid voice): You seriously mean he isn’t just a stupid bully? Then I must leave him, I don’t wanna any complicated intellectual crap in my relationships!

Eowyn shared tales of their childhood, and of the many suitors of hers Eomer scared away.

Eowyn: I was able to do that all by myself, thank you very much.
Mouth (sneering): What about that Hamothen guy, then? The farmer from the last chapter?
Eowyn (shots a murderous glance towards Mouth, who laughs dryly.)


Leiawyn returned the favor by telling Eowyn all she wanted to know about Aragorn.

Pippin (as Leiawyn): …and he has a long…
Faramir (claps his hand over Pippin’s mouth): Please, there still are ladies around.


Leiawyn had to admit, that the Lady of Rohan seemed like a good match for Aragorn. They both had fierce, defiant personalities

Eowyn: Except that in this fic my personality is so mangled I have hard time to recognize it’s supposed to be me.

and Eowyn was human,

Kraut: And Aragorn was what? An alien?

but something told Leiawyn that Arwen would be back.

Kätchen (as Arwen, Arnold Schwarzenegger voice): I’ll be back.

“My brother seems to love you very much.”

Faramir (as Eowyn): And I wonder why exactly. What have you done to him, you witch?
Mouth: Time to fetch the good ol’ burning stake.


Eowyn observed as the two women were laying down in the dark, trying to get to sleep. Sleeping seemed to be an impossible task to accomplish.

Eowyn: Quite. Especially if you are trying to speak at the same time.

“He loves me enough to leave me behind.” Leiawyn’s voice was bitter.

Pippin (as Leiawyn): To let me die, now that would be a sure sign of love!

“He and the other Riders will go to Gondor, my home, and fight. Aragorn will be in Gondor with Legolas, Gimli, Pippin, and Gandalf.

Kätchen (as Eowyn): I know! Why are you telling me that again? Is this some crude attempt to write exposition?
Kraut (as Leiawyn): Hey, don’t blame me, blame Shelly! It is she who tells me what to say.


I, on the other hand, will be here alone waiting to see if I will have any family left once all this is over.”

Mouth: What do you care about that if you haven’t even mentioned your brother but once or twice?
Faramir: Whose name, by the way, we still don’t know.
Eowyn: I doubt if even the Sue does. She’s that dumb.


Eowyn waited a minute then decided to share the plan she was forming in her head. Leiawyn listened carefully as Eowyn told her how she was going to war no matter what.

Pippin (as teen!Eowyn): ‘Cause that’s lyke so totally kewl and lol badass thing!!!! LOL!!! (Strokes his mouth. In normal voice:) Whew, talking like that almost hurts!

As the Riders were to leave for Gondor she was going to join them dressed as a man.
“Will it work? Won’t they be able to tell it is you?” Leiawyn doubted the plan.

Kraut: There are helmets with visors, genius. You aren’t exactly going to wear name tags.

“Hopefully not. I will dress in full battle gear and hide my hair. I will not stay behind and do nothing.” Eowyn sat up and Leiawyn saw the outline of her figure turn to face her. “I go for battle, but I also go to see the one my heart lies with.

Eowyn (sighing): Where do I start? Firstly, I was not going to see him, I was going to get killed because he didn’t love me and I saw that. Secondly, I was not that stupid as to have gone if hadn’t been so utterly depressed. Case closed.

If you feel even half as much for my brother as I do for Aragorn, then I think you should come with me.”

Pippin (as Leiawyn): Is this some test or what?
Mouth (as Eowyn): Yup. We’ll see which one of us is more suicidal. The first one dead is the winner.
Pippin (as Leiawyn): Count me in!


Leiawyn was quiet as she thought it over. She did not want to be separated from everyone she loves, but she was not a fighter, that much she knew.

Kraut: It should be obvious to all by now, sweetie.

Then she remembered where the battle was to take place, in Minas Tirith, her home.

Faramir: What if you left the fighting to those who are actually trained for it? Remember what happened to the nameless Daddy the last time you messed with a battle?

Leiawyn decided that she could not stay in Rohan while the place she grew-up was attacked. She would defend her land or die trying.

Kätchen: Please die. Do us the favour.

“I will go.”
“Good. We will get everything we need now.” Eowyn’s voice was determined.
The two women rose and left the tent, grasping hands as not to lose each other in the dark. Luckily, few guards were on watch where they were headed. Once they reached the Arms Keep,

Eowyn: Seriously? Just the place that most needed to be guarded and there’s no sentry to challenge them?
Pippin: Seems Shelly isn’t overtly familiar with military safety procedures.


the slipped silently into the entrance.
“They will have the armor in our size towards the back .”

Kraut (as Eowyn): Plus, they come in this spring’s colours and are in discount!
Kätchen (as Leiawyn): Gee, shopping is fun!


Eowyn stated as the two women navigated the room carefully,

Faramir: They are transformed to ships now?
Kraut: Hmm, that reminds me of Salvador Dali. Just as surreal.


as not to knock anything down.
Once they reached their destination they quietly gathered what they needed.
“This stuff weighs a ton!” Leiawyn managed to say under the strain of the gear she was carrying.
“I know, but once it is all on, you kind of go numb.”

Eowyn: True. But that doesn’t mean you can move in it if you haven’t got used to it.

“that is encouraging. Ok, I think we have everything. Let’s get back to the tent before we’re caught.” They headed for the door carrying their gear.
They were half way to their tent when two guards appeared before them.
“Ladies Eowyn and Leiawyn. What are you doing out this late and with armor?” One guard asked raising an eyebrow.
Leiawyn froze in fear. She knew that the guards would discover what they up to and turn them into Eomer. Eowyn spoke up not missing a beat.
“We are helping to arm some of the new Riders that are just arriving.”

Eowyn (Slaps her forehead. With cold sarcasm): Yeah, I really did act as a page to common soldiers! Please, miss Suethor, can you invent any stupider excuses?

She smiled at the guards as she continued. “This armor is rather heavy.”
Leiawyn had to hold in a laugh as the guards tripped over themselves to take the armor from her and Eowyn. The guards walked a head of them and listened to each order Eowyn gave. They dropped the armor off in Eowyn’s tent and bowed as they left. Once they were far enough away both women burst out laughing.

Mouth: Because everyone knows that men carrying hauberks is a way funnier to watch than circus.

“I thought they were going to kill themselves trying to get the armor.” Leiawyn laid down on her cot, grabbing her stomach.
“Well, I never flirt with anyone, so I think that through them off.”

Eowyn (Slaps her forehead again.)
Pippin (laughing): So now even the Riders are teenagers? What next, angsting Theoden with an acne?
Kraut: Don't forget Saruman wondering if he's popular.
Kätchen: Or Gandalf worrying about if girls like him.
Eowyn: In reality my words to the Riders would have been like: “Eothain, Garulf, take these hauberks and then follow me.” I would really have liked to see them try to gainsay that.


Eowyn laid down on her cot also. She hadn’t laughed this hard in a long time. “We better get some rest we have a big day a head of us.” Slowly they drifted off to sleep.
********************************************************************************

Kraut (singing): Star of Rio, you could be my destiny, when you shine your magic light to me alone…

A trumpet rang through the air and Leiawyn jumped, falling off the cot onto the hard floor.
“Ow! That hurt.” Leiawyn heard the figure still under the covers on the other cot laughing. “It’s not funny Eowyn.”
“Yes it is.” Eowyn sat up and laughed harder as she saw Leiawyn sprawled out on the floor.

Kätchen: And Shelly claims to have read the books? Eowyn hardly wasn’t in laughing mood if I have got it right!
Eowyn: You have, rest assured.


“Are you two decent?” Eomer’s voice was heard at the entrance to the tent.
Leiawyn scrambled to her feet quickly, straightening out her dress. She saw the pile of armor still sitting on the ground.
“Just a minute!” Leiawyn yelled. She grabbed her blanket and threw it on the armor, Eowyn did the same with hers. “Come in!”
Eomer entered the tent with a grim expression. He saw both women he loved, in different ways,

Pippin: It’s nice Shelly cared to make the distinction. Remember that Kalan Stu and Elrond?
Faramir (hastily): Please let us not talk of that.


standing before him with their clothes wrinkled and their hair sticking up. The sight made his heart ache, since he had come to say good bye.

Eowyn (deadpan): Because of which he had expected to see us in our best clothes, crowned by wreaths of roses.He lost all his desire to live at that moment.

“I don’t have much time for we are leaving right now. I just came to say good bye.” He walked over and gave each of them a hug. Then he kissed Eowyn on the forehead and Leiawyn on the lips. “Behave while I am gone. I love both of you very much. Theodred wants to see you in the hold Eowyn.”

Pippin: Wow, seems Theodred has returned from grave!
Kraut: He’s turned into an undead! Don’t go, Eowyn or he’ll eat your brains!
Kätchen: Joachim, this is Lord of the Rings, not The Night of Living Dead.
Kraut: I know, but zombies are always entertaining.


The girls told him they loved him and then he left. Eowyn went to the King and when she returned her eyes were red.

Kätchen (deadpan): Because she had the worst hangover of century.

They helped each other get in the gear talking as they went.
“Do you think he suspected anything?” Leiawyn asked as Eowyn helped tighten her chest plate.
“I don’t know. We weren’t very emotional, hopefully he didn’t notice.” Eowyn had finished putting on the last of her gear and the two women were set.
They twisted their long hair up and put their helmets on. They faced each other and smiled.
“We make pretty good boys, don’t you think?” Eowyn laughed.
They left the tent and found their horses tied up to the same spot they left them last night.

Faramir: Where else? In Fangorn, perhaps?

Together they mounted and followed the riders as the set out. They stayed in the back and didn’t talk to anyone, hoping no one would notice two extra Riders in a sea of thousands.

Eowyn: I think Shelly lives on seashore or likes sailing, judging from all these maritime metaphors.

********************************************************************************

Faramir (singing): He stooped and looked in Mirrormere, And saw a crown of stars appear…

By noon they reached Edoras and rested for a short while, and more Riders joined the vast army.

Kraut: Well, six thousand isn’t exactly vast, you know. Half a modern division, actually.

The two women were keeping each other company, avoiding all other Riders, when Eowyn said she had something to do. Leiawyn watched her walk over to Merry and whisper in his ear. When Eowyn returned, Merry with her. Leiawyn said nothing for fear that Merry would recognize her voice, but did not understand what was going on. They mounted their horses to set out again and Eowyn placed Merry in front of her. Leiawyn smiled finally understanding, no one was going to be left behind.

Kätchen (as Leiawyn, cheery voice): Yippee, we all are getting killed together! What fun!

They traveled for four days with no problems, it was rather boring.

Mouth: But not as boring as this crap of a story.

The darkness was weighing on everyone’s spirit and hope almost seemed lost. Leiawyn and Eowyn spoke to no one but each other, and only when they were alone. Since they were surrounded by Riders constantly they didn’t get to speak much. Some sort of understanding was set up, and no one paid attention to Merry and pretended he wasn’t there.

Pippin: Merry later told me it wasn’t very cheery, but, well, so it wasn’t for anyone.

They were resting on the fourth night, both Leiawyn and Eowyn were asleep, when the company was given orders to leave. This was the hard part, getting past all the orcs that were guarding the roads, unnoticed. Leiawyn noticed that a short fat man, dressed in a grass skirt,

Eowyn: Also known as Ghân-buri-Ghân. Some accuracy, please.
Faramir: Nah, Ghân isn’t handsome so in Suethor’s mind he doesn’t deserve to be mentioned by name.


was now leading her company of Riders.
They were traveling down a narrow over grown road in lines of four of five riders. It was obvious that the road was forgotten and rarely used, and the orcs did not know about it. The protection of the road provided little comfort, for every Rider knew what was at the end of it. Leiawyn was getting more scared the closer the battle came.

Mouth: Tough. Who begins to play must see the game through, dearie.

“You will do fine.” Eowyn whispered reading her mind. “I know you have a fighter hiding in you.

Pippin (sarcastically): Yeah, and I am a troll!

Don’t have fear, everything will work out.”
They reached then end of the road and stopped in a wide set of plains. All the wild men that were leading the companies had left and Eomer decided to rest until dark.

Kraut: Too bad it was Theoden who was in command.
Kätchen: Oh, but that wouldn’t be suitable! The love interest of the Sue must be the boss, not some old, wrinkly man.


Leiawyn had no idea how much more she could take. All this resting was just dragging everything out, and Leiawyn was ready for it to be over with already.

Mouth (laughing): Chicken! If even resting is so hard, wait until you see the Orcs! Those were quite pretty boys, I tell you.

Once night fell the went silently over the fields. Slowly Eowyn and Leiawyn moved to the head of the flanks. Closer to Eomer and the King. Finally the King spoke.
*”Now is the hour come, Riders of the Mark, sons of Eorl! Foes and fires are before you, and your homes far behind. Yet, though you fight upon an alien field, the glory that you reap there shall be your own for ever. Oaths ye have taken: now fulfill them all, to lord an land and league of friendship!”

Faramir: Ah, finally some decent text!
Pippin (picking his teeth, carelessly): Only, it is straight from the Red Book.
Faramir: Oh.


The Riders clashed their spears on their shields. Leiawyn was not afraid anymore, for she knew her home was burning and she would not stand idle while it was destroyed. At once the Riders set out and when they reached to walls a small battle erupted, but it was quickly ended for only a few orcs were at the wall.

Eowyn: So much for Sauron, the great strategist.
Mouth: Hey, one can’t possibly know everything!


They were traveling quietly through the same fields that Leiawyn had played in as a child. Before her she saw her home burning and a rage she had never felt before boiled within her.

Mouth: … cooking her innards, after which she died in agony. The End.

They were closer to the main wall now but Theodred gave no order to charge.

Pippin (dumb voice): I wonder why?
Kätchen: Maybe because he was dead, you know.


Then it happened, the wind changed. The clouds broke and the sun came through.

Faramir: And the crowd went wild.

Horns were blown and all of Rohan

Eowyn (deadpan): All of Rohan? The Riders, the women and children, the horses, the cottages and barns and even the grass and stones?

charged the city slewing the foe.

Mouth: I would say slaying would be more effective. What does ‘slewing’ mean, anyway? Some strange Rohirric ritual or something?

Leiawyn drew her sword and removed any head she came too.

Faramir (yawning): How exciting.
Kraut: Any head? Those of the Riders, too? Not my idea of sensible behaviour.


She did not fear battle any more, for she was a Ranger’s daughter, and she would not fail.
Leiawyn rode with Eowyn and the Kings trusted knights seeking new foes to kill. All would pay who harmed her city.

Kätchen: In cheques or in cash?

She was fighting orcs when she saw, a little ways a head of her, King Theodred.

Eowyn: Theoden, T-h-e-o-d-e-n. Do your homework, damn it!

Leiawyn watched as Snowmane reared up and a black dart pierced his chest, the King fell under the horse. He was all alone as the black creature that killed Snowmane landed near him.

Mouth: So it was very nice of that creature to keep him company.

She was still slaying orcs when she saw Eowyn, hair blowing in the wind, facing off with the Black Lord. An orc slashed Leiawyn’s right arm drawing blood,

Pippin (exasperated): Why can’t those Orcs kill a single Sue? Are they all blind?

and she turned back to the task at hand. Jumping off her horse

Kraut: Bad move, miss.

she killed three more orcs, then a screech was heard through the air. Leiawyn looked back where Eowyn stood and saw her on the ground her arm in an odd angle. Merry had his sword in the creatures back and Eowyn used the last of her energy to stab it between the crown and mantle. The creature fell and never rose again.

Faramir (sarcastically): What elaborate description!
Eowyn (with equal sarcasm): I will faint with this excitement!


Leiawyn ran the best she could to where the King and Eowyn laid, with Merry by their side. She was tending to Eowyn when Eomer came to the King. She heard not what was said for her heart was breaking at the thought of losing her newest friend, and her heartbeat pounded in her ears. It was then that Eomer’s eyes fell on his sister, he came to her side distraught but paid no attention to Leiawyn.

Pippin (laughing): Did she hide her head in a paper bag or is Eomer blind, just like those Orcs?

His expression was one of true pain and in a split second he was leading another assault this time full of despair for two of those he loved were dead.
Leiawyn left the sight once the King’s men came to bare the bodies. She ran through the gates and saw nothing remained of her home.

Kraut: Logical. No farms existed inside the City, so there could be no remains either.

She removed her helmet allowing her hair to flow free.
“Leia? Is it really you?” Leiawyn saw Lou standing in front of her.

Kätchen (as Lou): Oh, shit! You just can’t keep away, can you?

“Lou? Oh Lou!” She walked to her friend and they embraced. Tears slid down Leiawyn’s cheeks and her body shook with sobs.
“You are hurt! Let’s go to my house.

Faramir (raising an eyebrow): Your house? Not your father’s?
Mouth: Lou seems to do more than just ‘flirting’ with guys…
Kraut: Now, now, let us remember that Shelly is projecting modern values into your world.
Faramir (amazed): Unmarried women do live alone in your world? Even if they are not widows but only maidens?
Kraut: Yep. That’s called equality.
All Middle-Earth people (shake their heads.)


I have been tending to the wounded there.” The two friends walked in silence and came to Lou’s house.
All inside laid the sick and wounded on every surface, and it smelled of blood. Leiawyn sat on a table while Lou tended to her cut. As it was being cleaned, a Rider came in wounded but not seriously. Leiawyn had to know what was going on.
“Rider please tell me what news you have of Eomer.” The rider did not look at her as he spoke.
“Dead my lady. All of the house of Theodred lay dead.”

Pippin: Makes sense, since Theodred was the only and last one of his ‘house’.
Faramir: Peregrin, I think Shelly means Theoden.
Pippin: Then why doesn’t she just say so?


“No, you must be wrong.” Leiawyn’s mind raced and the room tilted. How could Eomer be dead?

Mouth: By sword, by arrow, by a heart attack for all that I know. Need I draw a diagram for you?

She stood, her knees gave out, and she fell to ground. All who dwelled in the city heard the piercing cry of a young lover heart broken, and then silence.

(Laughter.)
Eowyn: The girl has got some lungs!
Kraut: Yeah, even Birgit Nilsson would envy her.
Kätchen: Ladies and gentlemen, see and listen the latest Wagner soprano of Middle-Earth: Leiawyn the Sue!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mouth: By the shores of Nûrn, disobedient slaves burn, in bonfires they scream…
Faramir (furrowing his brows a little): What’s that?
Mouth: Oh, only a piece of modern poetry from myself. I got an anthology even published a few years before the War.
The others (exchange sideways glances.)


A/N: Please review. I had a lot to describe and I think it may have sucked

Pippin (sarcastically): You really think so?

let me know what ya’ll think!

Kraut: Same as you do, Shelly, just the same as you do.
(All exit.)
"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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At Journey's End
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

12. Falling
A/N: Ok everyone the rating goes to ‘R’ in this chapter.

All: Uh oh.

I’ll mark off the part that makes it ‘R’ so you don’t have to read if you don’t want to.

Faramir (sighing): I wish we could skip it…

Tara: Thank you for pointing out my mistake!

Eowyn: Oh, writing this trash in the first place?

Hopefully I fixed it all now!

Kraut: No, you haven’t. This fic still isn’t deleted, is it?

Welsh-Dragoon: I guess I did make a rhyme. He probably wondered if Eowyn corrupted Leiawyn!
Everlong: I’ve updated! Here is the infamous chapter.

Pippin: Of equally infamous story.

Everyone should thank you. You really helped me out here and I promise there are no bulging members or titties!

Kätchen: Thank God!

**Everyone should read Everlong’s fic “Sunset on the Plain” It is a great Eomer fic!!**

Mouth: Yeah, yeah, the commercial break’s over. Let’s get to the point so that I can go have my lunch!

JadeGoddess: Always happy to help! Here is the next chapter hope you enjoy it!
Disclaimer: I only own Leiawyn and Lou.
Lou couldn’t get her best friend to recognize her. Ever since Leiawyn fell to the floor screaming, a few hours ago, she had sat there not talking.

Faramir: Since even her last brain cell had escaped the noise.

Her eyes were glazed over and she didn’t even cry. Lou watched as Leiawyn rocked back and forth on the cold floor. She never felt so helpless before.
“Leia? Please look at me. Sweetheart, please let me know you understand me.” Lou pleaded as she wiped a cold rag over Leiawyn’s hot forehead.

Mouth: Hey, Lou, just let her be! For the first time in this crap she is almost tolerable.

“Leia? You have to come back to me. You made a promise!”
Leiawyn’s eyes finally moved and they locked on Lou’s green ones.

Kraut: Suddenly they realized, however, that neither of them knew the security code.

The sudden movement caused Lou to jump.

Pippin: And she won the 3019 Women’s Championship of High Jump in Gondor!
(Applause from the audience.)


“Promises mean nothing.” Leiawyn’s voice was shaky. “They mean nothing! Eomer promised to take care of me, to come back to me. He promised!” Her energy slowly came back and she climbed to her feet. “He promised and he is dead! Dead Lou! He broke his promise!”

Kätchen (dryly): Leiawyn, there’s such thing as the Force Majeure clause. Read the small print, a war does count.
Mouth (smirking): Heh, as if Eomer would have died just to annoy Leiawyn.
Eowyn: Well, after being so near her for any extended period anyone would be ready for desperate acts.


All of a sudden the air was too stuffy and the walls seemed to be getting closer.

Kraut: Enter claustrophobia! As if she hadn’t enough to deal with her obvious personality disorders.

Leiawyn couldn’t stay here, not near all this death and pain. Her eyes searched frantically for the door, when she found it she broke into a run. She ignored Lou calling her name and continued to run. She needed fresh air, space to move in. She ran without thinking letting her legs carry her where they wished, as long as it was far away from death.

Faramir: Only, every step and moment only carries us nearer it.
Eowyn: Someone is gloomy today.


When she finally stopped, she knew exactly where she was. Leiawyn was facing part of the main wall that protected the city. It was hidden behind a few run down fences and no one on the main road could see it.

(Laughter.)
Kraut: So the walls of Minas Tirith were less than a metre high? My respect for Numenorean masons just plummeted, as does that for Mordor’s siege engines.
Mouth (staring): What? A pity I can’t anymore punish the chief of our scouts. If that’s true we could have taken the whole city with half the fuss!


A section of the wall was missing and it made the perfect bench. When Leiawyn’s mother disappeared

Pippin: Oh, now I remember the fate of the unnamed Mommy. I wonder if Shelly ever cares to explain us why she disappeared.
Kätchen: Why, to give the Sue something to angst about, of course! That’s the only reason they ever have parents.


she came here all the time to think, only her brother and Lou knew about it. Leiawyn sat down on the make shift bench and tried to catch her breath.

Kraut: Failing miserably. Too bad no one had taught baseball to her.

No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t cry. Leiawyn had done enough of that in the last month to last a lifetime.

Faramir (hopefully): So she suffered from severe dehydration? She’s going to die?

Listening, she could tell the battle was over but, she didn’t care it was too late. Everyone was dead; Eomer, Eowyn, Theoden, and probably all those who went though the Paths of the Dead.

Eowyn (wearily): And what follows is a two-page-long angsting over it.

Leaning against the wall she gave up, she had nothing left in her life.

Pippin: Except your brother.
Mouth: Hey, if she doesn’t even remember him, why should we remind her?


Leiawyn saw that the stairs that were carved into the wall were still intact. Walking over, she took a deep breath and climbed them until she reached the top of the wall. Carefully she stood barefoot

Kraut: The fact she had no shoes being of immense importance to the plot.
Kätchen: Seems she had been barefoot the whole battle. How can she even stand?
Pippin: I hate to say this but maybe she’s a hobbit.


along the edge and looked down. The distance to the ground would be enough to kill her instantly.

Mouth: Down we go, miss!

No one would miss her, everyone who cared was dead.

Kraut: Along with canon, which had already been done in by the start of this horrid thing.

Lou was still alive but Leiawyn knew she would die too, if Leiawyn stayed alive.

All (scratch their heads.)
Eowyn: How so?
Kätchen: Don’t you remember your words earlier in this fic? “She’s poison.”


Breathing slowly, she closed her eyes and jumped, waiting for all the pain to end.

All: Yes!
Mouth: Now that’s the way of it!


**************************************************************************************

Mouth (excitedly): Those obviously are the blood drops that splashed on the wall when she hit the ground.
Faramir (disgusted): Hey, let us not get too carried away! Even though we all hate her it’s unnecessary to go into gory details.
Mouth (checking himself, with a sneer): Sissy.


Eomer had not left his sister’s side in the House of the Healing, since Aragorn healed her. He ran to the house as soon as Prince Imrahil told him the Eowyn was still alive. They spoke not of war or death, for Eomer tried to keep the conversation light. He could tell she was still very weak and did not want her to worry over bothersome things.

Eowyn: How come did Imrahil know of Leiawyn?

“How is Leiawyn?” Eowyn asked, remembering she hadn’t seen her since before the foul creature attacked. Eomer raised his eyebrows at this sudden mention of Leiawyn.

Pippin (as canon!Eomer): Someone fetch a healer, she is delirious and calls after nonexistent people!

“I figure she is doing just find, she is at Dunharrow after all. What harm could befall her?” His sister’s eyes got wide. He could not understand what was worrying her.
“You haven’t seen her?”
“No, how could I. She is….” Eomer’s voice trailed off as everything clicked in his head.

Kraut: He went psycho again?
Kätchen: This time he put a Halloween mask and black robe on. After another murder spree he finally got shot by Neve Campbell.
Kraut (as a TV commercial): A sequel coming to theatres at next Christmas! Book your tickets today!
Kätchen (as a movie trailer): Slasher killers never die! When you least expect it …
Kraut (hums dramatic music)
Kätchen: … the nightmare returns!


He left Eowyn’s side and walked quickly through the door, stepping outside. He should have known Leiawyn would have come with his sister. He had to find her, for the battlefield was still littered with many bodies and he did not know if she was one of them.

Mouth (sighing): If only she was…
Pippin: Cheer up, she’s flat as a pancake now, remember?


His pace quickened and he looked around frantically, she had to be somewhere.

Kätchen: She was… namely in Hell!

He began to shout her name, fear taking over.
“Leiawyn! Leiawyn! Where are you?!” Soldiers and peasants looked at him as he went shouting like a mad man.
“Excuse me?” A delicate hand grabbed his arm but Eomer shook it off. He did not have time for stupid girls throwing themselves at him.

Faramir: Strange. In Rohan he certainly did and he was even more busy then.

“Eomer?” The hand reached for him again.
Eomer stopped moving and turned to face the voice. No women in the land of Gondor knew him, except Leiawyn. He looked at the figure and saw that it was a pretty blond woman and her eyes were filled with worry.
“Yes, I am Eomer. How do you know my name?”

Kraut (as Lou): From a picture in the newspaper, silly!

“ Leiawyn, she thinks your dead.”

Eowyn (as Eomer): My dead what? Please finish your sentences.

Eomer knew he had to find her soon, for if she thought he was dead who knew what she would do.
“Where is she? Take me to her.” The woman shook her head.
“ I can’t, my lord. She ran away after hearing you were dead. I don’t know where she is.” Eomer took a breath to stop from shaking the woman for information.
“Try and think. Where would she go if she was upset.” He spoke calmly but his heart raced. He could feel time was running out.

Mouth: It already has done so. Mwahahahaha!

The woman was quiet as she thought then she spoke.
“The only place I can think of is the wall.” She pointed towards a section of the main wall. “Leiawyn went there as a….” Lou stopped and her eyes got wide.
Eomer followed her stare and felt his heart had stopped. Without thinking he took off running, pushing people out of his way. He had to get to Leiawyn and fast, the adrenaline pumped through his body. He scaled a fence with ease and found a set of stairs that snaked up the wall.

Pippin: Which swined around the city which crocodiled in the side of Mount Mindolluin which…
Faramir: We GET it already, Peregrin! That is a strange choice of words.


Taking them two at a time he reached the top just as she jumped. He grabbed her left hand,

All: Damn!
Mouth (depressed): Just when I was happy… Why can’t anything go well?


causing her to bang into the side of the wall.

Kraut (hopefully): Her ribs broke and she died of internal bleeding?

She hung over the edge, but didn’t fall. Laying on his stomach, he grabbed her right hand and pulled her up. He fell on his back, and she landed on his chest knocking the wind out of him. Those deep blue eyes stared into his rich brown ones.

Kätchen: Which is which?
Faramir: Well, the Eomer-impostor has brown eyes. Kind of give-away if you ask me.
Eowyn: I wonder why anyone hasn’t noticed this far?


“Eomer? Your suppose to be dead.” Leiawyn could not believe who had pulled her up. She felt she was looking in to the eyes of a ghost.
“No I’m not. What do you think you were doing, jumping of a wall! Were you trying to kill yourself?”

Kraut (as Leiawyn): No, I was bungee jumping!

He sat up, angry now that she was ok,

Pippin: Hey, his reason is returning!
Mouth: Toss her down, Eomer!


and she sat next to him.
“Yes, I was.” Tears filled her eyes and her voice broke. “I thought you were dead. I knew everyone else was dead

Faramir: Everyone except hundreds of thousands of Gondorians and Rohirrim and millions of Easterlings, Orcs and Haradrim, of course.

and I couldn’t stand being alone.” Leiawyn looked down as Eomer’s large hands grasped hers tightly.
“Who is dead?”
“Everyone! Eowyn, Theoden, Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, and everyone else I care about!”

Eowyn: Ah-ha! So you don’t give a shit about Lou, you ungrateful bitch!

The tears escaped. Leiawyn was relieved that Eomer was ok, but she knew

Pippin: Pray tell how?

that everyone else in her life were still dead.
“You are wrong. Only Theoden lies dead. Everyone else is alive, but Eowyn and Merry are both hurt. They are being tended to in the House of the Healing.” Eomer saw she had stopped crying.
“Really? They live?” Eomer nodded. “Oh Eomer! What have I tried to do? What was I thinking!”

Kraut: Well, the only intelligent thought in your life. And you had to bungle even that.

Leiawyn felt Eomer wrap his strong arms around her, drawing her closer to him.
“Shhh, my love. Everything is ok now.” He stroked her hair. He looked over the edge of the wall and thanked whoever was listening that he reached her in time.

Kätchen (as Eomer, a radio operator-voice): Eomer to all, Eomer to all. Do you read me? I thank all that I reached the Sue in time. Over and out.

After a few more minutes, they slowly made their way back down the wall. Eomer saw how exhausted and hurt Leiawyn was, so he picked her up and carried her to the tower in the center of the city.

Faramir: Methinks her legs should be atrophied by now since she seems to spend more time being carried around than on her own feet.

He paid no attention to those who stared at the strange sight of the tall Rider carrying a young woman . The guards opened the doors when they arrived and directed him to a room down the hall where Leiawyn could stay. He carried through the doorway and laid her gently down on the bed. He pulled the covers up to her chin and kissed her lightly on the lips.
“I have to go and see Aragorn. I will tell him and the others that you are ok. They will be upset you came, but I know they will be proud you fought. Sleep now and I promise to be here when you wake.” Her eyes fluttered open at the last sentence.
“You promise?”

Pippin (as Eomer): Always, excepting the cases of war, natural catastrophes or financial depression.

“Yes, I promise. You know I keep them, especially to you.” He kissed her once more.
“You do keep them. You never let me down.” She closed her eyes again.
“I never will let you down. I love you.”

Mouth (laughing): Why, they sound like a pair of parrots!

Eomer left closing the door behind him.
**************************************************************************************

Kraut: The Andromeda galaxy is approximately 2,5 million light-years away from us.

Leiawyn slept for several hours, making up for lost time. When she awoke she saw Eomer laying down next to her on top of the covers. His chiseled features

Kätchen: Why do all the Stus have faces made of stone? It’s a phenomenon that really should be researched.
Kraut: So that we could make pre-emptive measures?
Kätchen: Precisely.


were relaxed, and Leiawyn smiled he looked like a child taking a midday nap.
“He has not left you side since we got here.” Leiawyn jumped a little, and saw Aragorn sitting next to her in a chair.
“Aragorn? What are you doing here?”

Mouth (as Aragorn): Trying to peep your dirty bed games, of course. But you really are a boring couple.
Kraut (as Aragorn): And just when my cable TV and internet connection are both down…


She sat up, her right arm throbbing from her injury.
“I came to see you, as did the others. We know what happened, but we will not speak of such foul things.

Faramir: Except, Aragorn, that you are talking to a foul thing.

I’m only glad that Eomer found you when he did.” Aragorn took her hand in his, stroking it. He was relieved that Leiawyn was ok, but he was even more proud that she fought in the battle. He knew she was a fighter at heart.
“The others?” Leiawyn looked around the room and saw Legolas sitting near the window, Gimli asleep on the floor with Pippin laying near by. “How long has everyone been here?”

Pippin (as himself): Long enough to see there was nothing interesting to watch. Damn it, I bought all this pop corn in vain!

“Not too long. Though I have to leave you now, for it is not my place to reside in the city. I only came to see how you were doing.” He stood pulling the hood of his cloak over his head. “Rest, dear child. Legolas, you and Gimli come back to camp when you are finished visiting.” Aragorn silently left the room.
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite person to torment.” Legolas smiled as he sat in the chair that Aragorn had occupied. “How are you doing?”

Kätchen (as Leiawyn): I was wounded in a battle and got slammed against a stone wall. What do you think?

He ran a warm hand along her cheek. If he had been here none of this would have happened. It is a good thing Eomer was there otherwise who knew what would have happened.

Eowyn (grimly): The justice, that is what would have happened.

“I am good.

All: No, you are not!

Now that I know everyone is alive, I’m great. I bet you can’t understand what happened, being an elf and all.” Leiawyn looked over at Eomer once more. She felt so ashamed of her actions earlier.

Pippin: Actions like hooking onto Eomer, making him a drooling moron and dissing Eowyn even before meeting her?

“I know you felt alone and thought that everyone was dead. All I need to understand is that you are ok. I don’t care what you did. I’m just glad you will still be here for me to torment.”

Mouth: The Elf is right, she doesn’t deserve even a speedy death.

“Yes, for when your not here he likes to torment me!” Gimli informed them as he awoke from his nap. The stout dwarf walked over to Legolas.
“Your awake! Good! I was worried but now I see you are fine. I wish I could stay, but there are others who are in need of company.

Kraut (as Gimli): I am trying to subtly tell you I couldn’t care less of your company.

I must be on my way and get a bit to eat and then to see to Merry.” Pippin walked over to the bed and kissed Leiawyn on the head. “I will visit tomorrow, er, today. What day is it?”

Kätchen (deadpan): The 32nd of December.

“Let’s give Leiawyn some peace and quiet. She needs her rest, and we will figure out what day it is Master Pippin.” Legolas stood and bowed as he left taking the others with him. Once the door closed she had to laugh. She had missed them all so much.
“That sound is music to my ears” Eomer said when he awoke to Leiawyn laughing.
“Did I wake you? I’m sorry.” Leiawyn whispered feeling bad for waking him, he looked so peaceful.

Faramir: That’s a welcome change to his usual violent caveman-mode in this story.

“There is nothing to be sorry about. Come here.” Leiawyn slid over to Eomer and he pulled her close to him. “Let’s just sleep for awhile.”
“That is the best idea I’ve heard in a while.” Leiawyn closed her eyes, breathing in the distinct smell that was Eomer.

Kätchen: His sweat and all kind of dirt? Yuck!

*************************************************************************************

Kraut: Can anyone invent anything clever this time?
(Silence.)


Leiawyn awoke the next morning to the sound of Eomer walking about. A smile came to her face as she saw him gathering his things.

Mouth: If only she had known he was going to flee as far from her he could…

His hair was messy and knotted and his clothes were bunched up. He stopped in front of the mirror and straightened his clothes out, running a comb through his hair, trying to tame it a little.
“So men primp too.” Leiawyn teased him.

Faramir (yawning): Funny. Leaiwyn, even men must comb sometimes.

“Good morning. I didn’t mean to wake you, but I have to take council with Aragorn and Prince Imrahil. I’ll bring you something to eat when I return.”

Kraut: Again? Are all the servants of Middle-Earth on some kind of international strike or what?

Once he was satisfied with his appearance, Eomer walked to the bed and kissed Leiawyn, morning breath and all.

Eowyn (sarcastically): Mmmm… must taste good.

He then left the room telling her to stay in bed and rest. Too bad that plan would not take place, for a few minutes after he left a young girl entered her room.
“Lady Leiawyn? My name is Celandine and I will be your maid for your stay in Minas Tirith.” She pulled a dress from the closet and hung it on the door. She then began to boil a bucket of water on the small stove in the room.
“My maid? Wait, like a servant? Oh no, you must be mistaken. I’ve lived here my entire life and I don’t have a maid. I‘m not of noble blood.”

Pippin (as Celandine): Very well, then warm your water yourself, bitch!

Leiawyn watched some more as there was knock on the door and two more girls entered carrying buckets. They poured the contents into the tub in the corner of the room, then left Leiawyn with Celandine.
“Well, you get one now. The King is seeing to it.”

Kraut (as Celandine): He is going to hire servants for every peasant as a form of social insurance.

Celandine poured her water into the tub also.
Then she added some oil and the room soon smelled like a wild field. Celandine walked over to Leiawyn and pulled her dress over her head. Leiawyn was too confused to protest.
“The king?”
“Yes, King Eomer. He may not be officially king, but he is the next in line.

Eowyn: Actually uncle made him King right in the battle-field.
Kätchen: Shelly, do you really think he should have filled a form or what?


Now get in the tub, you are in dire need of a bath.” Leiawyn didn’t argue and slowly entered the bathtub. “Good girl, now just relax.”

Mouth: Hah! Such a servant, talking to the Sue like she was a little doggie.

The water was hot and felt good on Leiawyn’s dry skin. Celandine wash Leiawyn’s hair with some vanilla scented soap and scrubbed every inch of her dirty skin. The bath felt so nice that Leiawyn was upset when it ended. After Celandine dried her off, Leiawyn slipped the new dress on. It was simple lavender dress and it fit like it was made for her.

All: OF COURSE it did!

“Much better. Now I must leave for a while, but you are to stay here. Eomer should return with some food later. Good day, my lady.” Celandine bowed then left the room taking Leiawyn’s dirty dress with her.
“That was just weird. I wonder if I will always have a maid from now on?”

Eowyn: To ask if Queens have maids! Now it’s official, she really isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Leiawyn laid back down on the bed. She had no idea what she was going to do until Eomer returned.
**************************************************************************************
~Ok this is where the ‘R’ comes in. If love scenes

Kraut: Oh, Shelly’s these people who think sex equals love. Wrong.

aren’t your thing don’t read this part!~
Leiawyn had been pacing the length of her room for the past half hour. She laughed every now and then realizing she probably picked up the habit of pacing from Eomer. Her smile faded whenever she thought of what caused her to pace in the first place. Celandine came back and told her that she heard Eomer was to set out with the Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Prince Imrahil and several thousand men to go to Mordor, in two days. Leiawyn knew they were going to draw Sauron's eye away from Frodo with a final battle,

Faramir: Yeah, never mind the rest of Sauron, it’s only his Eye they will fight.

and they did not plan to return. It was to be the final sacrifice for the battle of middle Earth.
Leiawyn stopped by the window and glanced out. Outside the walls if the city, she could see

Eowyn: A travelling circus!
Pippin: Gandalf making fireworks!
Kraut: An insurance salesman ringing the doorbell!


Aragorn's camp and all the able body men in the city preparing to leave in a few days. She turned from the window when she heard a knock on her door.

Kätchen: Seems you were right about the salesman, Joachim.

"Come in." She called out as she sat on the edge of her bed. Eomer walked into her room and stood in front of her.
"Leia, why didn't you come to dinner?" He watched her fiddle with the hem of her dress.
"I wasn't hungry."

Faramir (as Leiawyn): Plus you said you would fetch me some food.

“You know about the final battle don’t you?” Eomer saw Leiawyn slowly nod her head. He wanted to tell her himself, but it was too late now.
As Eomer sat beside her, he could still smell the vanilla oil from her bath lingering in the air. Her dark brown hair was pulled back from her face but one section managed to break free. Looking at her with the candle light dancing on her face, his heart ached at the thought of leaving her. He reached over and placed his large hand over her small soft one.

Eowyn (as Eomer, bratty voice): I have a bigger hand than you, na-na-na!

Leiawyn looked down at Eomer's hand and felt tears spring into her eyes. This was probably the last time he would touch her, the thought tore at her very soul.

Pippin: Until she was torn in two like a piece of paper. The End.

Facing him, she leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips. That simple action broke the dam.

Mouth: Ah, that was how Isengard was flooded!

The next thing she knew Eomer took her in his arms completely and kissed her passionately. She wrapped her arms around his neck as his tongue explored every inch of her mouth.

Kraut (amazed): What is he? A snake?
Kätchen: An ant-eater, perhaps?


Eomer eased up his grip on her and started to undo the ties on the back of her dress.

Mouth: That’s like it should be done! No boring foreplay or stupid romantic whispers but straight into business!
Eowyn: Erm, have you ever been with a woman?
Mouth: Why, of course I have. That was some thousands of years ago, however.
Kätchen (in undertone): I don’t wonder about that.


Once the dress was open, he ran his fingers over to smooth exposed skin. He felt Leiawyn tremble at his touch, and his desire for her increased. He stopped kissing her and looked in to her eyes.
"Do you want to stop?" He asked her out of breath. She shook her head no.

Pippin: Huh? Did she nod, then?
Kraut: The quotation marks have run somewhere from that sentence.


He could see the fear in her blue eyes but there was also a flame of passion in them. "Are you sure?"
"Eomer, I love you. You are leaving in a few days and I will probably never see you again. I want to have this memory, this moment in heaven,

Faramir: As well as this moment of gross exaggeration and purple prose.

to carry in my heart forever. I want you to leave with the most valuable thing I can give you, myself."
Eomer stood pulling Leiawyn to her feet also. He reached up and removed the dress from her shoulders and it fell to the floor. Eomer’s eyes took in every inch of her body.

Kraut: Heh, it sounds like he used a magnifying glass or a microscope!

“You are breathtaking, Leiawyn.”
Leiawyn blushed at the compliment, no one had ever seen her naked before.

Eowyn (confused): She was born with clothes on?

She grabbed Eomer’s shirt and pulled it over his head and threw it on the ground. The armor he normally wore hid his lean, sculptured body, and now Leiawyn saw that it did him no justice. His muscles were defined and his shoulders broad, he was perfect.

All (yawn. Kätchen checks her watch.)
Kraut: Of COURSE he was!


Eomer pulled Leiawyn to him, kissing her, their skin touching for the first time.

Pippin: Did they then kiss through a veil before this or what?

As they kissed Leiawyn could feel Eomer’s desire for her growing.

Kätchen: Hell, if it grows any more it is soon the size of Empire State Building!

She slid her hand down his stomach and undid his belt. Soon his hands were helping hers, trying to free himself. Once his pants were undone they too fell to the floor. The couple stopped kissing and looked at each other. They had nothing to hid behind, and Leiawyn could see now just how much Eomer wanted her.

(Snickers.)
Faramir: Ah, the power of euphemisms!


Eomer took Leiawyn in his arms, and let their mouths explore each other

Kraut: They went to where no man had went before.
Eowyn: I am sure I don’t want to hear more.


as he gently pushed her back on the bed. Their hands roamed freely trying to take in every detail of each others body. Leiawyn could feel Eomer excitement growing

Mouth: He’s going to explode at this rate!

and his hand found her thigh wanting access. Parting her legs, she granted him permission.

Kätchen (deadpan): …handing him a keycard and the door code.

Carefully he positioned himself over her, he slowly eased in trying not to cause too much pain.
Leiawyn bit her lip to keep from crying out as he entered her. The pain was intense and she realized just how big he was.

All: Ouch!
Pippin (grimacing): And she’s a virgin? This scene won’t be too enjoyable for her at any rate.


Once Eomer was completely in, he stopped to give her time to adjust to the feeling. He looked at her beautiful face and saw she was biting her lip.

Mouth: And wanting to cry: “Just get over with it! This hurts like hell!”

“Are you ok?” Leiawyn took a breath and nodded giving him permission to continue.
Slowly, as not to hurt her, he pulled out and then slid back in. The first time he did it Leiawyn cried out a little, but as he continued the pain dulled.

Kätchen: It doesn’t. The whole of the first time isn’t too pleasant.

In its place was the most incredible feeling, their bodies fitting together like a puzzle that had been missing an important piece.

Kraut (takes the bucket from behind his seat): Anyone in need of this?
Eowyn: Not yet, but soon.


They got into a rhythm, complimenting each others movements.

Mouth (as Eomer): What a jolly good writhe, Leiawyn! ‘Tis most pleasant to see.
Pippin (as Leiawyn): Oh, thank you, Eomer! And your use of your hips is most elegant. You really should consider a career of a dancer.


They continued for an hour,

All (stare.)
Kraut (incredulously): Without any breaks? Wow, what a machine Eomer is!
Eowyn: I almost feel sorry for the Sue. She must have been pretty sore after that.
Mouth (coldly): You reap what you sow.


oblivious to the world around them. Only paying attention to what they were feeling, wanting to make that feeling grow. Leiawyn felt herself losing control and as her body tensed, both partners reached their high together.

Kätchen (dryly): This scene lacks something… the porn film music, namely.
Kraut: She got an orgasm at her first time? Isn’t that…
Eowyn (curtly): Extremely improbable? Yes, it is.


There the two lovers laid, their bodies covered in sweat, breathing hard. Leiawyn rolled over onto her side and felt Eomer do the same. He hugged her to him, breathing in the scent of her, making a memory of the smell. He knew he could never make love to anyone but Leiawyn for the rest of his life.

Mouth: Don’t be too sure, horse boy. You are not made of wood…

Leiawyn felt numb all over, but in a good way. She had never felt so tired in her life. Yet she felt more alive than ever before.

Pippin: I hope that doesn’t mean…
Faramir: Oh no! If she got pregnant Shelly may yet write a sequel about her offspring.
All: NOOOO!


“I love you Leiawyn.” Eomer whispered still out of breath.
“I love you, too. That was amazing.” Leiawyn rolled over to face him, her face glowing in the candle light. “Can we do it again?”

Mouth: I definitely begin to doubt if this was her first time.

A smile grew on his flushed face.
“As you wish my love.” Eomer kissed her and they started their intimate dance all over again.

Kraut: Tango or mambo?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kätchen: Strange… I feel like I would like to go boating.

A/N: That was my first time writing a love scene so please let me know if it was horrible.

All: IT WAS!
(All exit.)



"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

13. To Whom She Belongs

Kraut: To Satan himself, if you ask me.

A/N: Sorry about the delay! I think I just needed to recover from the last chapter!

Faramir (surprised): Oh, you too?

LOL!

(Fake, bored laughter.)

Here we go again. Also I plan on continuing the story past the books so we still have PLENTY of chapters to go!

Eowyn: Oh, Eru, NO! Spare us!

*Also checkout Everlong’s incredible Eomer/Lothiriel story “Sunset on the Plain”*
Tara: You liked the chapter! Yea!! Especially the suicide thing, I was worried that people would think it was stupid.

Mouth: Well, if she actually had died I would have regarded it a masterpiece. Now, however…

Thank you again!!
Welsh-dragoon: yea! It was nice! Don’t worry I have off days all the time.
JadeGoddess: I’m relieved I’m not the only one with love scene problems!
Everlong: It was intense wasn’t it?

All: Nope.

From your woooohoooooo I gather you liked it. Here’s my update now, hopefully I didn’t keep you waiting too long!
Disclaimer: I only own Leiawyn, Lou, Denemor

Kätchen: Who?
Pippin: Sounds like he was Denethor’s evil twin or something.


and my crazy plot!
Leiawyn woke up on her stomach with Eomer’s arm draped protectively over her back. She smiled as she thought back on the night before. It was the most important night of her life and she wouldn’t have traded it for anything in the world.

Kraut: Except perhaps for five bucks and a bottle of Coke.

She knew that her actions would have repercussions, since a woman was only to be intimate for the first time on their wedding night,

Faramir: Indeed!

but Leiawyn didn’t care. She couldn’t even picture marrying anyone but Eomer, and she knew if he died in battle then she would never marry.

Eowyn: Well, for a while I thought something similar about Aragorn, you know, and look at me now.

Leiawyn was laying in the bed with her eyes closed when she heard a loud noise outside the door.

Kraut: It was the pizza delivery boy.

Eomer’s arm left her back quickly and reached over the side of the bed, picking up his sword.

Kätchen (as Eomer): If he has dared to put garlic in my pizza…

Leiawyn felt the heat of Eomer’s body leave her as he stood, stepping into his pants and pulling them up. He tossed Leiawyn his shirt and she pulled it over her naked body. Eomer took her arm and pulled her off the bed onto the floor.
“Stay here and don’t make a sound.”

Mouth (as Eomer): If you were found here it would be bad PR.
Eowyn (as Leiawyn): But I thought you loved me and didn’t care!
Mouth (as Eomer): Look, we had some fun but I really can’t marry you. You don’t have any fiefs and gold as your dowry, have you?


He handed her his dagger. “If anything happens use this.”

Pippin: On yourself preferably.

Leiawyn nodded and watched Eomer walk silently to the door. He pressed himself against the wall as the knob on the door turned. A figure walked cautiously into the room, looking around carrying a sword.

Kraut: The PPC?
Faramir: What?
Kraut: Oh, I’ll explain later.


Eomer didn’t move as the intruder continued to search the room for something.

Eowyn (as the intruder): That penny I dropped has to be somewhere!

Leiawyn was peeking around the bed when the figure turned in her direction.
“Leiawyn? There is no use hiding you know I will find you.” A voice rang out, a familiar voice.

Pippin (gasps): The unnamed Daddy has risen from grave?
Mouth: Or Aragorn decided he didn’t revenge the Sue’s words strongly enough.


Eomer left his spot on the wall and came up behind the intruder. “When you find her you will find me also!”
Eomer slammed the person into the wall, pulling down the curtains, allowing bright sunlight to fill the room. Leiawyn watched to two men wrestle

Kraut (as an announcer): In today’s WWE Championship match we have Eomer Hogan against Intruder Mysterio! Only one can win the belt, the fame and the money! Stay tuned!

until she saw the intruder’s face.
“Denemor? Eomer let him go! It’s Denemor!” Leiawyn stood up and walked over to where Eomer had the other man pinned to the floor.
“That name means nothing to me! Who is Denemor?”
“My brother.” Eomer looked up at her amazed.
“Your brother?”

Pippin: A fine time to tell Eomer about her relatives, I must say.

“Yes her brother! Now get off of me you barbarian!” Denemor’s muffled voice demanded.
Slowly Eomer released his hold on the man. Denemor stood up brushing himself off glaring at the barbarian in front of him.

Kätchen: Conan was there, too?
Kraut: An interesting crossover.


His threatening stare was interrupted when Leiawyn raised the dagger towards him.

Eowyn: Wait a minute! First she orders Eomer not to hurt him and now…
Mouth: Maybe she wants to kill him all by herself.
Eowyn: But why?
Mouth: Oh, she is a Sue. Whatever reason she has everyone accepts it anyway.


“What are you doing here?”
“It’s good to see you too.”

Pippin: I sense a hint of sarcasm here.

He looked at her, then Eomer. “What is going on here? Why are both of you half way naked? Why are you only wearing HIS shirt Leiawyn?”

Faramir: What do you think, genius?
Kraut (as Leiawyn): Uh… We were playing strip poker! Honestly!


“Now Denemor, it’s not what it looks like.” Leiawyn tried to explain. Once she gets rid of Aragorn now she has to answer to her brother.

Pippin: To be an adult is to have responsibilities, Leiawyn. Learn that.

She knew her brother’s punishment would be worst then anything Aragorn could think of.

All: Yes!

“Oh really? And what does it look like? When I ask you a question I want an answer.

Eowyn: Fair enough, I suppose.

Why do I have a feeling that something went on last night, that should have only happened on your wedding night?”

Kätchen. Because you obviously are not blind or retarded.

Leiawyn hung her head in shame, she didn’t think the repercussions would be this soon. “ Do you realized you have just ruined any chance of a good Knight of Gondor taking your hand in marriage?

Faramir: Oh, those already nonexistent chances? She’s a peasant, damn it! She could at best expect to have a merchant or wealthy farmer.

You have just dragged our family name through the mud!” Eomer could remain silent no more.
“Ranger! I suggest you change your tone of voice right now. You have no right to speak to her in such a way.” Eomer had picked up his sword from the ground and held it at his waist.

Mouth: What a tough guy! I wonder if he’s that cocky towards armed people, too.

“You need to stay out of this, you lowly horseman. How dare you take my sister’s honor!

Pippin: How can you take something that doesn’t exist?

I should kill you right now to restore some of her dignity. Maybe if I tell people you took my sister forcefully, then a Knight will still have her.”

Kraut (pondering for a moment): Hey wait! If he’s that intent to marry her to a noble, then what’s wrong with a king? Hell, he should thank his lucky stars on his knees!

Denemor grabbed Leiawyn’s arm started to pull her towards the door, when Eomer stopped him with the tip of his sword against Denemor’s neck.
“Lowly horseman? You are the lowly one here, for I am Eomer King of the Mark. Now let your sister go if you wish to take another breath. She will not marry a Knight from Gondor, she will marry the King of the Mark.” Leiawyn let out a yelp as her brother’s grip on her tightened.
“I am her brother and she will marry whoever I say. I will not have her marrying some Rider from Rohan,

Kätchen: He’s hard of hearing, seemingly.
Mouth: Nah, he’s only Shelly’s pathetic attempt to create tension and conflict.


she will marry her own kind. A knight from Gondor, who will hopefully see past the trash she has become.”

Pippin: You mean she hasn’t been trash for the whole of her life?

He switched arms and grabbed Leiawyn’s bandage, making tears spring to her eyes, and causing her to drop the dagger. “Isn’t that right sister?”
Leiawyn nodded giving in. She had forgotten how horrible her brother was. When her father was alive and with the Rangers, Denemor treated Leiawyn as his personal maid and would give her beatings if she misbehaved.

Mouth (grinning): That Denemor sure is a nice guy.
Faramir: Why didn’t she tell to Daddy when he was at a leave?
Eowyn: She’s a Sue. That would have been too easy and logical.


Once her father died he took his place with the Ranger’s and Leiawyn was able to breath freely without fear for once. Now he had found her and she had no choice but to do as he said. By Gondorrian law, she was to obey her brother until she wed who his saw fit, or until he died.
“I’m sorry Eomer. It is the law.” With one final jerk, Leiawyn was pulled out of the room and dragged down the hall.
Eomer ran after them with anger in his eyes. Law or no Law, no one was going to take Leiawyn from him. Not as long as there was breath in his body. Denemor had just dragged Leiawyn outside when Eomer struck. He surprised the two, and pulled Leiawyn from Denemor’s grip and pushed her aside. He punched Denemor in the face as the two fell to the ground.

Pippin (dry): Well, at least his character has evolved in this story. First he was a bully and now he’s a coward enough to strike from behind.
Eowyn: That’s not my brother! I don’t know who he is but clearly he’s not Eomer.


For the first time Eomer’s temper was full force, and it was a terrifying sight. He was giving the Ranger a beating that would kill most men, blood pooled on the ground.

All except Mouth (grimace.)
Mouth: Way to go, horse-boy!


“Leia? What is going on?” Lou appeared next to her friend and watch the spectacle that had caused a large crowd to gather.
“Denemor and Eomer. Denemor tried to take me, and Eomer…” Her voice trailed off as she saw Eomer go in for one final blow.

Kraut (sarcastically): Eomer sure shows the dignity of a king.

Her brother maybe horrible but she wasn’t sure he deserved to die.

Kätchen: In any case not more than you do, miss.

“Eomer Stop!” Legolas grabbed the man of the Mark and pulled him off the man he was about to kill.
“Let me go! He deserves to die!” For such a lean and gentle looking person, Legolas sure did have a strong hold on Eomer.
“This will solve nothing! Let him stand before Prince Imrahil to be judged!”

Faramir: Judged for what? For getting an undeserved beating? Denemor was perfectly within his rights!

Legolas felt the Rider relax in his arms. Eomer was beginning to think clearly again.

Eowyn (as Eomer): Oh, no, what have I done? I had sex with that… thing! And I nearly killed a man. What possessed me?
Pippin: The Suethor.


Legolas let him go and the two walked over to where Leiawyn was standing. Legolas removed his elven cloak and placed it on her shoulder. It was then that Eomer realized he was standing in the street shirtless while Leiawyn was ONLY wearing a shirt. Their secret from last night was out now.

Mouth (dryly): You think so?

“Yes, he will go before the Prince if that is what Leiawyn chooses.” Eomer saw Denemor give his sister a pleading look as two guards pulled him to his feet.

Kraut: Again, what crime he has committed? It is Leiawyn who should be judged, not Denemor! Why, this is more like Communist judiciary than Gondor.

“No, he will not go before the Prince.” Leiawyn walked until she stood just inches away from Denemor’s face. “He will go with everyone else to Mordor. He has done nothing good in the twenty years I have known him.

Faramir: Except defended his country and all good peoples. Doesn’t that count for anything?

Let him make it up to me and Middle Earth.

(Laughter.)
Eowyn: I think she takes herself a bit too seriously.
Pippin: Hey, even if you are going to be a queen don’t burst from pride!


Let him sacrifice his life so others may live.”

Mouth (as Denemor): Too bad you can’t order me to do it, dear sister. I will live even if only to annoy you. Na-na-na!

“Go to Mordor? I will not.

Kraut: I wonder what your commander would have to say that…

If I go who will keep you from messing up your life any more then you have already?” Denemor asked with blood dripping from his busted lip. Leiawyn could see the fear in his eyes and it gave her pleasure.

Kätchen: So she’s a sadist?
Faramir: Isn’t it obvious? She desperately wants her brother dead, for one thing.


“I will stay with Lou and help care for the injured. The only thing I ask is that the Prince frees me from the law that binds me to you. I want to live a life free to love whoever I chose.”

Mouth (sneering): And what do you demand next, the right to vote, huh?

“That I can do my Lady.” Everyone turned to see Prince Imrahil parting the crowd. “As I am the one running the city until Faramir is well, the decision is mine. From what I saw earlier, this man is not fit to care for anyone.”

Eowyn: Because he lost a fistfight? Or because he cared about his sister’s honour?

The Prince glared at the pathetic Ranger that was before him. “From this moment on, Leiawyn is to live with her friend and help with the injured, until the King of the Mark returns for her. Also, Denemor will no longer be a Ranger. For he is not worthy of such a title.”

All (slap their foreheads.)
Faramir: Imrahil sure isn’t this kind of tyrant! Denemor should have been allowed to defend himself. Besides, he didn’t do anything illegal, if intruding to Eomer’s chamber isn’t that.


The bell in the city rang, telling everyone that it was already well past three in the afternoon. The crowd broke as people went to finish the final preparations before the men left for the battle. Leiawyn went back to her room with Lou and gathered her belongings. She was to go and stay at Lou’s until the fate of Middle Earth was decided, and would not reside in the Tower anymore. When the two women returned to the street only Legolas, Eomer, Prince Imrahil, and a few knights remained.
“We will escort you to your destination. Then we will say good-bye.” Eomer held out his arm to Leiawyn and she took it. “I’m afraid that when we part today it will be the last time we see each other.

Eowyn (as Eomer): And I will dance with joy when I am finally rid of you.

There will be no time for good-byes tomorrow.”
The small group walked down the street until they reached Lou’s home. Leiawyn said good-bye to Legolas and thanked the Prince for freeing her from Denemor. Finally it was time to tell Eomer good-bye.
“You better behave yourself while I’m gone. There is something I want to give you.”

Pippin (as Eomer): A nice little punch in your arrogant face!

Eomer reached into his pants pocket and pulled something out. “This was my mother’s and when she died I received it to give to my future wife. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else but you Leiawyn. When I return from this fight, will you make me the happiest man in the world by allowing me to be your husband?”

All: Uh oh.
Kraut: Beware, Eomer! You still have time to retreat!


In his hand was a delicate silver ring with a horse shaped violet stone in it. Leiawyn smiled and shook her head. “Yes! Yes, I will marry you.”

All: No!

Eomer slipped the ring on her left ring finger and kissed her.
“I better go. Lou keep an eye on her, she is a handful.”

Mouth: … of reeking shit.

Eomer and Leiawyn kissed once more. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Leiawyn smiled as he walked away joining the others. This time everything felt right.

Pippin: Funny, to me everything seems to be all wrong.
Eowyn: Oh, but you don’t live in a twisted Suethor-world.


She knew it would all work out and everyone she loved would return. “Come on Lou, we have some people to tend to.” The two friends entered the house and began to help people, doing their part to save Middle Earth.

Mouth: I think somebody should save it by burning this crap and smashing Shelly’s computer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kraut (singing): Where the waves of North Sea caress the coast, Where the yellow flowers bloom…

A/N: This chapter just felt out of place. Oh well the next one will have the out come of the war.

Kätchen (with bored sarcasm): How exciting. I wonder what that outcome will be?
(All exit.)


"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Caranthol
Member Avatar
At Journey's End
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

14. The Outcome

A/N: Sorry I’m being all slow

All (grin.)
Mouth: And we are free to choose which meaning of ‘slow’ we think about.


I was going to have this chapter up Friday, but was down. It worked for everyone else last night except me, So here it is I hope you like it! Sorry about the asterisk but it is the only way I could get spaces between paragraphs!

Faramir: Oh, great! As if this wasn’t unreadable enough already.

*
Everlong: We have a wedding in our future!

Eowyn (grimacing): Don’t remind me. It will be painful to see Eomer marry that… creature.

I’m sorry I took so long to update, please don’t let my purse holding secret out!!
*
Welsh-dragoon: You better update your story soon! I’m getting very impatient, and I will have to go read your bio now.
*
JadeGoddess: I went back awhile ago and rewrote some of my story and I added a brother.

Pippin: So that’s the reason Leiawyn didn’t even remember him for a long time.
Kraut: Nah, I still say it’s because the Sue is a bitch.


So you might not have read the new stuff. Sorry if I confused you!
*
Arwen: Yea! You enjoyed it! I just felt like it was an odd chapter for some reason.

Kätchen (sarcastically): How so? Because Denemor was treated shamefully? Or because it depicted Eomer as a coward hitting from behind and Imrahil as an unjust tyrant?

I think I just wrote it so that Eomer could fight shirtless!

All (slap their foreheads.)
Mouth: Shelly, please spare us of your fanbrat antics!


*
O: Welcome new reviewer!! I totally see the whole Arwen thing, but I also think that Leiawyn would want Aragorn to be with a human who matched his personality better.

Pippin: Yeah, ‘cause the Sue knows better who suits Aragorn than he himself does. Never mind she doesn’t even know Arwen. Please, miss, keep your hands off of Strider’s business!

Don’t worry though Arwen comes back and Leiawyn finally gets to see Aragorn and Arwen together and will know that the two of them are meant for each other.

All: Good!

Her brother was suppose to be nice, but then that chapter happened and he just seemed like he would be angry and possessive of Leiawyn

Mouth: Angry, yes. But why would anyone in his right mind be possessive of her?

and worried about her disgracing him.

Faramir: He shouldn’t have bothered. Her presence disgraces and stains the whole of Middle-Earth.

I was going to have an ex-boyfriend instead of the brother,

Eowyn (laughing): I wonder what Eomer would have said if he had learnt the Sue had a history. Methinks he would have left her sooner than you can say ‘one’.

but the brother idea just worked for me somehow. I’m glad you were able to experience some Eomer-loving, even if you do love Leggy and Aragorn more.
*
Disclaimer: I own Leiawyn, Lou and all MY ideas.

Kätchen: Seriously, do you think anyone else would want to use them?

*Also check out Everlong’s Eomer Fic, “Sunset on the Plain”. It’s amazing and great!
*
*
Leiawyn was in the hot, back room of the make shift hospital cleaning bandages and bedding.

Kraut (with a dirty smile): Whom she was bedding this time? Imrahil? Beregond? Fara…
Faramir (sternly): I think you should stop there.
Kätchen (sighing): Joachim, when you are going to grow up?


Over the past few days, she had learned how to clean and suture a wound and get blood out of almost any fabric. Taking care of the sick and wounded was the hardest work Leiawyn had ever done,

Mouth (amazed): And this girl has grown up at a farm? Are you kidding me?
Pippin (dryly): Shelly’s deep knowledge of rural life astounds me.


but it was also the most rewarding.

Kätchen: Huh? I didn’t think nurses are paid that well.

*
“Leia? You have another busy body wanting to speak to you.” Lou said as she walked into the hot room.
*
“Another? Tell her I’m busy. Also tell her my business is my own.”

Kraut (as Leiawyn): So I will sell at most only 49 per cent of my stock.

*
“Will do Captain.” Lou saluted as she left.
*
Leiawyn stopped folding the pile of clothes before her, and pulled her damp hair off her neck. Word of the incident with Eomer and her brother spread. Now every time she turned around a town busy body, mainly widows, were trying to tell her what she can do to repair her reputation.

Faramir: Methinks it is in vain. You can’t repair what is beyond repair.

Everyone knew what she and Eomer had done that night.

Eowyn: The only question is: Why should anyone care?
Mouth: Yep. Leiawyn would not be the first girl to end up as a mistress of a king.


Leiawyn knew if Eomer was still there everyone would leave her alone, but since he was gone and would probably never return, everyone thought she had ruined her chance of being wed. Lou and Eowyn knew that if Eomer died Leiawyn would choose to live a life of solitude over marrying anyone else.

Mouth (sneering): Oh, how tragic! My heart is breaking.

*
Leiawyn had visited the House of the Healing to see Eowyn shortly after Eomer left. Leiawyn had not visited her since then because it seemed that a certain Steward of the City was smitten by the Lady of Rohan.

Faramir (with dignity): Again, ‘smitten’ is not the word. I was not a teenager.

The two often strolled through the gardens alone, and nothing would please Leiawyn more then Eowyn finding true love in someone other than Aragorn.

Eowyn (looking fondly at Faramir): It has pleased me, too, for almost ten years now.
Faramir (taking her hand): My exact thoughts, my love.
(They look at each other’s eyes for a long time, oblivious to their surroundings.)
Mouth (yawning loudly): Ladies and gentlemen, how about we went on with the business at hand?
Faramir and Eowyn (check themselves and turn again towards the screen.)


*
“The busy body said the sooner you begin to court a decent man,

(Laughter.)
Pippin: That’s rich! If the King of Rohan isn’t decent enough, who is? An emperor, perhaps?


the sooner you will salvage what is left of your reputation.” Lou’s voice shook Leiawyn from her thoughts.
*
“Do they have nothing better to do then try and salvage my reputation?” Leiawyn began folding the clothes again, with anger.

Kraut: For once I must agree with the Sue. Those busybodies suffer from serious lack of life.

*
“Well, since the, and I quote, ‘rather delectable blond elf’ has left, you are their main concern.” Lou helped her friend fold.
*
“Legolas? Delectable? They are really some odd women.

Kätchen: Yes, especially if Legolas is supposed to look like Orlando Bloom.
Kraut (grinning): You say he’s not hot just because I sit next to you.
Kätchen (trying to smile innocently): Oh, I would never do anything like that!
Kraut and Kätchen (look at each other, then burst into laughter.)


I guess he is ok in a tall, pale, ugly, annoying way. I prefer my men tall ,dark

Mouth: What the hell are then doing with Eomer? Straw-coloured hair and blue eyes aren’t exactly my idea of a dark man.

and handsome.”

Pippin: Hey, now I get it! Eomer is just a substitute. In reality she likes Sauron in his Annatar form!
Eowyn (laughing): Oh, they would make such a beautiful pair!


She gingerly began to twirl the ring Eomer gave her around her sweaty finger.

Kraut: Now it’s official, she has never done manual work. Otherwise she would be smart enough to remove her ring before getting her hands dirty.

*
“You forgot royal. Remember Eomer is king of Rohan now and you will be queen. I always knew it would be you who would steal the heart of a King. I almost had a Steward once, but he left me for this stupid quest thing.”

Kätchen (staring): Huh? Lou, have you understood anything about that ‘quest thing’?
Eowyn (dryly): One would think that saving the world would be a bit more important than fooling around with a lower-class wench.


Lou looked at Leiawyn with a sad expression. “I only hope that it turns out different for you. I hope Eomer comes back alive.”
*
“So do I. Though I have many doubts about this marriage. How can I be a queen? What if his people hate me? I’m sure they want someone from Rohan to be their queen,

Eowyn: Well, they can want whatever they wish. That didn’t stop Thengel father of Theoden from marrying Morwen of Lossarnach.
Faramir: You forgot one thing: Morwen was of a noble family.
Pippin: And she was not a useless, stupid and suicidal wench.


not some peasant from Gondor. Eomer and I met under strange circumstances, I’m sure once everything goes back to normal he’ll realize he made a mistake.

Pippin: We can only hope…

We moved way to fast.

Mouth (curtly): You think so?

Lou, we said I love you after two days of knowing each other!”
*
“So what does that matter?” Lou put the folded clothes off to the side, and grabbed some more clean ones. “Love knows no boundaries. Isn’t that what your mother told you? Time does not matter to love, when it is ready, it is ready.

Mouth: Oh, cut the crap already! Everyone who’s not raised in a cupboard knows that’s bullshit.
Kraut: Yeah, there’s enough purple in that prose to clothe Emperor Nero.


Your just scared that your going to lose this amazing thing in your life, like you’ve lost everyone else. You won‘t lose him Leia. He loves more than I‘ve ever seen in my life. You are his world, and once his people see that they will love you too.”

Kätchen: More probably, they will revolt when they see Eomer drooling over a lowly peasant girl instead of running the affairs of state.

*
“Your right I am scared. However, now is not the time to worry, we have men to tend to. I just wish this would all be over, they have been gone for four days with no word.”
Leiawyn picked up a pile of bedding and Lou did the same. Together the young women went back to their daily chores.
*
**************************************************************************************
*

Kraut: This must be the Oscar Award ceremony.
Kätchen: How so?
Kraut: Can’t you see all those stars?
Kätchen: Lame.
Kraut: Oh, bite me.


It was the seventh day since Leiawyn said goodbye to the people she loved, and she was bored to death.

(Everyone’s faces brighten.)
Pippin: Truly? When is the funeral?
Mouth (crossing his hands): Great Melkor, let this not be only a metaphor…


Lou and her had taken care of everyone that was hurt and now they had nothing to occupy their time. Only a few men remained at the house and they were easy to care for. Leiawyn decided to walk to clear her head. As she walked through the city she thought of how much she will miss it if she moves to Rohan. Leiawyn grew up in this city, this land, and had never been outside of it until she left to find Aragorn. That one journey had changed her life.
*
After an half hour of walking, Leiawyn saw she was at her secret wall again. She climbed up the stairs and sat down on the edge of the wall, taking in the beauty that laid before her. Even through the cold and darkness that filled the air, Gondor was breath taking. The last time she was in this spot her heart was full of despair and she planned to die,

Eowyn (venomously): And that was the best plan you ever made!

now she felt content. Even though she did not know how everything would turn out, she never felt so sure of her future before. Pulling Eomer’s cloak tighter to keep warm, Leiawyn gripped the wall as she felt it tremble under her. The air seemed warmer and it felt like the world had let out a sigh it had been holding in for a long time.

Faramir (as the world): Phew, soon this fic will be over and Leiawyn will be just a bad memory.

The clouds lifted and Leiawyn stood with the wind blowing in her dark hair. The city broke into song and the darkness that weighed on the land was gone for good.
*
“Leia! Did you feel that? A change in the air!” Lou shouted up to her friend and watched as Leiawyn quickly descended the stairs.
*
“I know! They won, I can feel it in every fiber of my being.

Pippin: Fiber? She was an Ent?

They will all come back.” Leiawyn grabbed Lou’s hand and they ran to the House of the Healing. “We must tell Eowyn!”
*
Once they reached their destination, the stopped at the sight before them. Standing on the wall, engaged in a passionate kiss, was Eowyn and Faramir.

Faramir (dreamily): Ah, I remember it like it was yesterday.
Eowyn (equally dreamily): The happiest day of my life.
(They look each other deep in the eyes, once more.)
The others (roll their eyes.)
Kraut (whispering to Kätchen): They will hypnotize each other one of these days.
Kätchen (in whisper): Yeah, and how are we going to wake them up then? (sighs.) But they are so sweet. Why aren’t you ever that romantic, Joachim?
Kraut (hums): I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden…
Kätchen (rolling her eyes): Oh, you are hopeless!


*
“Well, I don’t think we should interrupt. They look, uh, preoccupied.” Lou smiled at the display of affection. “I wonder if she shares the same values as her brother? If so I think her and Faramir will have a rather fun evening, don’t you agree?”

Eowyn (sitting rigidly, icily): No, I do NOT agree. All women are not like you, Lou.
Faramir (in a dignified manner): Yes, we waited until the wedding night. Such is the law. (In an aside whisper to Pippin) I, however, wouldn’t have minded if I and Eowyn would have interpreted the law a bit more leniently…
Pippin (only smiles and raises an eyebrow.)


She nudged Leiawyn in the ribs.
*
“Hey! I resent that comment! You better take it back!” Leiawyn turned to face her friend.

Mouth: Too late to play a prude, miss. The murder’s out.

*
“No can do. What’s done is done.” Lou eyes got wide as Leiawyn charged her.
*
The two young women chased each other throughout the city, laughing and shrieking. Anyone who saw the two couldn’t help but smile,

Kraut (as a random bystander): Amusing to see how childish one can get. Are they five or twenty-five?

for it had been a long time since pure laughter was heard in the City of Stone.
*
**************************************************************************************
*

Kätchen (singing): You are the rose of my heart,
You are the love of my life.
A flower not fading nor falling apart,
If you're cold, let my love make you warm.
A rose of my heart…


Two days later a Rider appeared at the front door of Lou’s house, before sunrise. Leiawyn walked up in her nightgown and Eomer’s cloak to see what was going on.
*
“Lady Leiawyn, I have come here to take you to King Eomer in the fields of Cormallen. I was to bring Lady Eowyn but she has chose to dwell in the House of the Healing. Will you come with me? I can not return to the King empty handed. ”

Pippin (as Eomer to the Rider): If Eowyn won’t come, you may as well fetch that annoying twit.

*
“Yes I will come. I desire to see the one I love, but I must make myself presentable first. Please come in and have some food while I get ready.” Leiawyn opened the door wider and let the Rider enter.
*
As Lou was busy flirting with the young man,

Kraut: Two months after Boromir’s death? She moves fast.
Kätchen: Well, it is clear by now that she is an archetypal gold digger.
Mouth: That’s the cleanest way to express that, I daresay.


Leiawyn headed back to her room. She found a silver dress in her closet and slipped it on. She pulled the sides of her hair from her face and pinned them back. Not bothering with a sword or shoes,

Eowyn: What’s with Leiawyn and not wearing shoes? Hell, the skin of her soles must be as thick as the hide of a bear!
Faramir: I deem Shelly thinks that makes Leiawyn look more "natural" and independent. In fact, it only makes her look so stupid that she can’t even put her own shoes on.


Leiawyn secured Eomer’s cloak to her once more and went back to the main room. The Rider stood when she entered and thanked Lou for her hospitality. He led his future Queen

Mouth (dryly): A fact Leiawyn surely made known to the poor man.

to his horse and helped her up, then took his place behind her.

Kraut: Methinks the fame of Rohan as a land of horses is only make-believe.
Pippin: Yeah, they can’t even afford to send a spare horse for the King’s fiancée.


The Rider rode stiffly for the three hour ride, he knew Eomer would have his head if he thought he made a move on Leiawyn.

Eowyn (annoyed): He’s not that violent!
Kätchen: In this fic he’s all too much like Caligula. And, if he had issues with Riders touching Leiawyn, why didn’t he just send a separate horse for the Sue?
Kraut: Beats me.


*
Leiawyn felt the Rider’s arms loosely holding her on to the horse, and his deep breathing. She had to keep from laughing out loud at the fear the Rider felt. She knew he was terrified that he would do something that would result in Eomer killing him.

Pippin (raising an eyebrow): And that was fun?
Mouth: Hmm, she would have made a good mate for an Orc chief, let it be said for her credit.
Faramir (grinning): Credit?


After three hours the horse stopped in a small clearing just outside of the Field of Cormallen and the Rider helped Leiawyn off.
*
“I am to leave you here. Eomer will arrive shortly.” The horse left and Leiawyn was alone in the woods.

Kätchen: Joachim, isn’t that the name of one of those video games you play?
Kraut: It’s Alone In The Dark, dear.
Kätchen (shrugging): It’s all the same for me.


*
“I must have died in the battle, because I see a vision of beauty that cannot be explained in our world, standing before me.” Eomer’s rich voice came from behind Leiawyn, and she spun in her heels.
*
“Eomer!” She ran and threw her arms around his broad shoulders pulling him close.
*
“Leiawyn, my love.” Eomer closed his eyes as she entered his arms.

Mouth (as Eomer, closing his eyes): If I pretend she’s not there she will perhaps disappear. (Opens his eyes wide again.) Damn, it didn’t work!

It was a feeling he hoped he would never have do without. “I almost forgot just how well we fit together.”

Pippin (as Eomer, country bumbkin voice): Fit together, duh-huh-huh… D’ya take my meaning?

*
“Don’t you ever leave me again for war Eomer.

Eowyn (sarcastically): Yes, listen the Sue, never mind your oath of alliance with Elessar. The feelings of that abomination are more important.

I can’t bare the thought of you never returning.” Leiawyn took a deep breath and let Eomer’s scent fill her nose, she loved the way he smelled.

Kraut (with a crooked smile): I never knew women liked the smell of sweat and dirt.

*
“It is all over now. Sauron has been destroyed and he will never dwell in our lands again. The only thing we have to worry about is us.”

Kätchen: Plus the affairs of a whole kingdom, if you haven’t forgotten about that small detail.

Eomer played with a strand of Leiawyn’s hair.
*
“And how you will survive being separated until your wedding.” Aragorn said as he stepped into the clearing.
*
“Aragorn!” Leiawyn pulled out of Eomer’s grasp and embraced Aragorn. “What do you mean separated?”
*
“Well, since you two are going to wed, it is only right that you court properly until that date.”

(Snickers.)
Mouth: Oh, isn’t it a bit late to mind the formalities, Aragorn?


Aragorn let Leiawyn go. “Eomer and Eowyn will leave next month for Rohan, and you will stay here. You and Eomer are allowed to see each other within the walls of the city until he leaves. He should be gone for a few months then he will return to take Theoden’s body to be buried. We will go with them and when we arrive in Edoras then you two shall wed.”
*
“A few months! Did you hear that Eomer?” Leiawyn couldn’t stand the thought of being in Gondor while Eomer is in Rohan for months.

Faramir (with mock sympathy): I feel your pain, Leiawyn. It must be hard to endure what almost every other woman must endure.

“Eomer?”
*
“Yes I did. It is the agreement we made. Leiawyn you and I have gone about our relationship the wrong way.

Eowyn: High time you realized that!
Kraut: Yes, one must learn to walk before trying to run.


I want at least something to be proper, and that will be our wedding.” Eomer took Leiawyn’s hand. “I have heard that your time in the city was difficult because of our night together. I don’t want our wedding to be something else for people to give you a hard time about.”
*
“You will be the Lady of my house when I take the throne, until you leave for Rohan. You will take lessons from the Ladies in waiting on, music, history, sewing, how to run a house hold and everything else it takes to be a proper Queen.” Aragorn explained as the three of them headed back to the main part of camp.
*
“Great I can’t wait.” Leiawyn walked a little ways behind the two men as they talked about her future. Leiawyn was happy that the two had made up and the slapping incident was behind them, but their new concern for her future was making her worried. She could tell these next few months were going to be very long!

Kätchen (worriedly): I just hope Shelly won’t describe those months in detail…

*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pippin (as a teacher): The Brandywine River marks the boundary between the Shire and Buckland.

A/N: Review please!

(All exit.)

"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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Caranthol
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At Journey's End
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

15. A Visitor

All (groan.)
Voice of Deusexmachina: Congratulations! This is the last chapter. You have taken it better than I thought.
All (look relieved.)
Faramir: Thank Eru!


A/N: I am sooo sorry it has taken so long for me to update.

Pippin: Oh, never mind that.

Things have just gotten very stressful at home and this story was a casualty of that. My dad was deployed to Saudi Arabia a month ago and then three weeks ago my boyfriend was deployed to Iraq.

Kraut: Well, as much as I’m opposed to war in Iraq, I do hope nothing bad happens to him.
Kätchen: Amen to that.


I’m sorry for the delay and hopefully the next chapter will be out sooner. Once more the spacing is messing up so I have to use asterisks.

All (grimace.)

*
*

All (grimace again.)

Everlong: Things get very interesting in this chapter

Faramir (yawning): About time!

so who knows if there will be bliss at all. If there is I promise lots of babies maybe blonde maybe not. Thank you for keeping my secret safe.
*
*
Welsh-Dragoon: Tall, dark and handsome is the only way to go!

Eowyn: If so, why on Arda you say you are a fan of Eomer?
Kraut: Because Karl Urban starred him in the movies.
Eowyn (frowning): I must see that movie some day to see if it has anything right.
Kätchen: Oh, there’s a lot that’s exactly right. Then, some things are not.


I understand about the review thing, I could review anything for days!
*
*
JadeGoddess: I think your onto something…..we get to meet a nice little trouble maker this go-round. She has her eyes on a certain king from Rohan…

Mouth: Enter Lothiriel! Seems the Sue has to abandon wedding plans.
Eowyn (with a happy smile): Ahh, things are looking up at last.


*
*
Arwen: We are going to see if Leiawyn has what it takes to be Queen.

Faramir: It should be obvious by now that she hasn’t.
Pippin: Hell, even I and my wife are more royal, and we are hobbits!


Also if she can handle such a strict life, especially when she meets her rival.
*
*
Bean02: Thank you for your kind words! I’m relieved that Leiawyn has become less Mary-sueish.

Mouth (sarcastically): Yeah, a possible decrease of 0,000000001 per cent of Mary Sueism really counts.

Having you review my story and saying you like it is just amazing because your story is incredible and I’m just wowed by your words.
*
*
Jenna: I know your review is not a flame, but I know that the review you said wasn’t one, was a flame. In my eyes a flame is anyone who says anything along the lines of “Your story sucks and you should give it up.”, “Take this story off of it has no business being here.” or “When you get a REAL plot and write a REAL story then come back.”

Kraut (deadpan): Gee, I wonder why anyone could write such a review for this masterpiece.
Mouth: …of shit.


To me those are flames so all the reviews that said that in anyway, shape, or form, are flames.

Mouth (as Shelly, wiping an imaginary tear away): Boohoo, you all are, like, so mean!

I can take criticism,

Kätchen (snorting): Yeah, right!

I’m listening to what you say because you are not telling me to pull my story, nor are you analyzing it to pieces. As time goes by I reread my story and add to it so in time details will grow.

Faramir: Making it even more stupid. Remember Denemor?
Eowyn: Adding small details to this would be like trying to repair a collapsed house with a length of string.


As for the love triangle, you jumped the gun on your review because it starts now.
*
*
Disclaimer: I only own Leiawyn, Lou, and anyone else you don’t recognize.

Pippin: So she means Aragorn, Eomer and pretty much everyone else. At least I don’t really recognize them from this story.

*
*
I highly recommend Everlong’s story “Sunset on the Plain” and Bean02’s story “Those We Love”. Both incredible Eomer/Lothiriel stories.

Kätchen: I wonder how much Shelly is paid for these commercial breaks?

*
*
My Dearest Love,

Mouth (as Leiawyn): My Dearest Love, Stuified Coward-Backstabber-Sadist-Eomer…

*
*
The months have gone by slowly and I fear I may parish.

Kraut (laughing): She’s turning into a congregation of Christians? I didn’t see that coming.
Kätchen: Um, it should be ‘perish’.
Kraut: Whatever, it’s funnier this way.


I have lessons everyday from breakfast to lunch, and after those I sit with Aragorn to learn how to run a city properly. Though I am always surrounded by guards and ladies-in-waiting, in my heart I feel truly alone since you are not here.
Shall I ever want to have a moments peace, I know that will never be. From the moment I wake until I return to sleep, I am surrounded by no less than 4 people.

Mouth: Who were nurses of the mental asylum she was in.

I would give anything to be alone to think of only you. I am sorry to end my letter here, but I am needed by Aragorn to meet a new visitor.
*
*
With all my heart,

Faramir (as Leiawyn): …my liver, my kidneys and my almost non-existent brain.

Leiawyn
*
*
Leiawyn rose from her desk sealing the letter, and Celandine was at her side in an instant. As the two women left the chamber, two guards and another lady-in-waiting joined them. Leiawyn handed the young woman her letter to Eomer and she quickly departed to find a messenger to deliver it. The small group entered the hall where Aragorn resided.

Eowyn: Hmm, I would think a set of chambers would be a more comfy apartment, but whatever.

As she got closer, Leiawyn noticed a woman standing before the king.

Mouth: And being the bitch she was Leiawyn instantly hated her.
Kätchen: Actually that may be not too far from the mark, mister Mouthy.


*
*
“Ah, Leiawyn. Please come here, there is someone I want you to meet.” Aragorn stood and took Leiawyn’s hand has she approached. “This is Prince Imrahil’s daughter Lothiriel .”

All (relieved): Hi, Lothiriel!
Eowyn: Please show the Sue her proper place and end this madness!


*
*
Leiawyn bowed politely as she eyed the fair woman in front of her. She was so beautiful it was sickening.

Kraut: I scent some jealousy here…

“Lothiriel, this is Leiawyn, future queen of Rohan.” The smile on the princess’s perfect face disappeared.
*
*
“The future queen of Rohan? My father told me that Eomer was not courting anyone.”

Kätchen: Huh? According to last two chapters, Imrahil knew of Leiawyn!
Faramir (grinning): Yeah, but he isn’t stupid. Come on, Eomer possibly couldn’t marry a peasant! It’s just a little fling and nothing more.
Pippin: Rather, it would be if this crap was at all realistic.


She looked at Leiawyn critically.
*
*
“He is not courting anyone, that is true. He is betrothed to Leiawyn. They are to be wed when we return his uncle’s body to the Golden Hall.” Aragorn let go of Leiawyn and turned to a messenger who had entered the hall. The two women stared at each other trying to size the other one up.

Eowyn: Because they had tape measures as eyes.

“I’m sorry to do this but I have a meeting to attend. I want you to show Lothiriel around, Leiawyn. She will be in the chamber next to yours so why don’t you start there.”
*
*
Leiawyn kissed Aragorn on the cheek. “Of course. I’m sure we will have a grand time.” Aragorn smiled and the two women turned to leave. Leiawyn and Celandine walked a good five feet in front of the princess. She wasn’t sure why, but Leiawyn felt that this woman was a threat and she wasn’t going to let her get close to her.

Mouth: Because if she did she would be forced to realize how inferior she is compared to all decent women.

*
*
*
*

Kätchen: Welcome to Hotel Zitadelle, the only four-star hotel in Minas Tirith! We offer you comfortable rooms, grand suites, a well-equipped bar and a swimming pool.

Three hours later Leiawyn was ready to pull her hair out.

Mouth: Now she knows how we have felt from the start of this crap.
Eowyn (as Leiawyn, hysterically): Oh no! I am a bloody Mary Sue! Why didn’t anyone tell me earlier?


She had given Lothiriel the tour of the tower and of the city and it had been a nightmare.

Faramir:… for Lothiriel who was forced to endure Leiawyn’s moronic ways.

The Princess spent the whole time saying how much prettier her city was and how many more expensive things they had.

(Laughter.)
Pippin (shaking his head): Shelly, Shelly, you should do your homework. Minas Tirith was and is the richest and biggest city in Gondor.
Eowyn: Not to mention Lothiriel doesn’t behave like a spoiled brat. She has been taught better manners than that.


That wasn’t even the worse part. The worse part was the endless questions about Eomer. How did they meet?

Kraut: By a totally stupid and unrealistic plot twist.

Why did he leave her here?

Mouth: Because Eomer had finally regained his senses.

Was she sure he is coming back?

Kätchen: She was, but Eomer had another plans…

Is there any royalty in her back ground?

(Snickers.)
Eowyn: Lothiriel, just look at her and listen her! Does she strike you as someone of noble family?


Leiawyn made sure to give the shortest uninformative answers possible. Eomer and her relationship was no ones business,

Pippin: Except of the people of Rohan.

especially not Lothiriel.
*
*
Leiawyn finally had a second away from the annoying princess.

Kraut: To assholes all others seem to be assholes, too.

Lothiriel had gone off to find Arwen to speak to her about being a queen. Leiawyn was standing on her balcony looking at the beautiful city when she felt someone come up from behind her.

Kätchen: The Grim Reaper, I hope.

*
*
“Hello Legolas. I haven’t seen you in a couple of days.” The elf step forward and placed his hands on the railing their skin touching.

Faramir: Uh oh, if the impossibly possessive Stu!Eomer hears of this…

*
*
“I have been busy getting to know my friends without the threat of war. They are all very different when they are relaxed.”

Eowyn (dumb voice): I wonder why is that so?

He glanced at the young woman next to him and saw the worry in her eyes. “Yet, you are not relaxed. What is worrying you? You are to marry the man you love in a few months. The Middle Earth is safe. You should be bursting with joy.”

Kraut (as Leiawyn): Yeah, if that damn canon hadn’t suddenly kicked in.

*
*
Leiawyn turned around and leaned backwards on the railing. A gentle breeze kicked in and her dark hair danced around her face.

Kätchen: To the music that a polka band composed of lice played.
Pippin (trying to picture that): That’s gross.
Kätchen: No more gross than the Sue.


“I was but today things changed. I can feel it and it bothers me.”
*
*
“The princess. She worries you right? I have heard her guards talking and she came here with a hidden motive. Your fear is justified, she came here in hopes of meeting Eomer and marrying him.”

Mouth: Rather, her father decided to marry her to Eomer. Let’s keep real, shall we?

Leiawyn let out a sigh and Legolas continued. “It seems her father forgot to mentioned that Eomer is to marry you.

Faramir (grinning): A convenient moment of forgetfulness now and then is always handy.

I met the girl and from what I can tell she will stop at nothing to get what she wants.”

Eowyn: And how’s that supposed to be any different from that gold-digger called Leiawyn?

*
*
“Great. I guess I should send Eomer my ring back.”

All: Please do!

Leiawyn twirled it around her finger.
*
*
“What? You must be joking. I cannot believe that you would be willing to just give up without a fight.”

Pippin: You cannot fight the reality.

Legolas stood in front of Leiawyn and placed his hands on her shoulders. “You have nothing to worry about. Eomer loves you and only you. He can love no one else.”
*
*
“Look at her Legolas! She is beautiful and she is royalty! As I am neither! She is everything any man could possible desire!”

Kraut: Excellent points, Leiawyn. How about if you just forgot the whole thing and disappeared somewhere?

Leiawyn shook under the elf’s grasp.
*
*
“Yes, she is beautiful, but you are breath taking. You are beautiful inside

Kätchen: Compared to Stalin or Saddam Hussein, maybe. Compared to any normal person, definitely not.

and outside. Royalty means nothing to love. And this is not just any man we are speaking of, this is Eomer. His love for you is endless and nothing, not even a beautiful princess could change that.”

Mouth (sneering): You wanna bet on that?

He watched the light creep back into Leiawyn’s blue eyes. “Now I suggest we go to dinner before they send a search party to locate you.”

Faramir (as an advisor of Elessar): My lord, Leiawyn is nowhere to be seen. Should we send a search party?
Pippin (as Aragorn): Why bother? She may be anywhere she wants to be, the main thing is that I haven’t to endure her company any longer.


*
*
“Lothiriel will be there. I’m not sure I can stand a meal with her.” The two left the balcony.
*
*
“Remember, you are not alone. I’ll be there as will everyone else. Whatever this princess has in mind to get Eomer we will make sure she fails,”

Kraut: Since when has Legolas been interested in some random girl’s love life? I am sure he has more important business to take care of.
Kätchen: Suethor Rule Twenty-Six: All, or at least all hot canon characters exist only to serve the Sue. No exceptions.


Legolas opened the door and let Leiawyn step into the hall. He placed a hand on her arm and stopped her. “Race you.”
*
*
Leiawyn smiled for the first time that day. “Your on.” With that said she broke into a run, and the whole way to the dinning hall the tower was filled with shrieks of joy and laughter as the two friends raced.

Faramir: The race, however, was cut short by the guards who promptly arrested the Sue for disturbing the peace.
Eowyn (stroking her forehead): And this infantile twit is supposed to be the future queen of Rohan? Please, Shelly, whom you think you are kidding?


*
*
A/N: I’m sorry it’s soo short but I wanted to get something up until the next chapter. I hope to have the next chapter up in few days.

Pippin (happily): But she didn’t. Remember what Deusexmachina said? It’s over!
The others (sigh in relief.)
Kraut: I don’t know of you, but at least I need a little break before the next story. Let’s get out of here!
(All exit.)

"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz!
Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße.
Im Feuer mich baden!"
- Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two.
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