Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to Refia. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Kiss Me Kate; As If The War Wasn't Bad Enough
Topic Started: Nov 26 2008, 12:46 AM (694 Views)
MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
Title: Kiss Me Kate
Author: MackenzieW
Genre: Humor/MST
Text based on: "Kiss Me Kate" by msMASH4077/M*A*S*H
Rating: K+
Characters: Charles Emerson Winchester III, Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, BJ Hunnicut, cameos by the gang, Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan and Korea Surgeon Barbie!
Summary: With the theater out of commission due to the destruction of Malfoy Manor, Voldemort decides to make his favorite TV characters spork a story. In it, a young Sue who is conveniently drafted into the army as a surgeon and sent to MASH 4077 falls for Hawkeye
Warnings: msMASH4077 clearly hasn't learned paragraph formatting and believes in very short chapters.

Kiss Me Kate

"We Open In Korea"

Benjamin “Hawkeye” Pierce finally collapsed onto his cot after a long day of surgeries. “Wake me when the war is over,” he instructed his friend, BJ Hunnicut. The other man laughed as he folded up some clothes. “I’m not kidding. War ends, I wake up.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Pierce,” Charles Wincester exclaimed from his seat, the Boston Globe resting on his lap. “You can’t sleep through an entire war!”

“Watch me.”

“You two knock it off or I’ll turn this tent around,” BJ warned, jokingly.

“Yes, Dad,” Hawkeye replied, arm draped over his eyes.

BJ chuckled before hitting his friend’s leg. “Come on, up and at ‘em,” he said. Hawkeye groaned. “Come on, you promised me you’d go see the movie surprise tonight.”

“I do not recall that promise,” the other surgeon replied, rolling over. “Ergo, I don’t have to go.”

“Sorry, Hawkeye, but I also recall you promising Hunnicut this night out,” Winchester replied with a smirk.

“Two against one. Rise and shine, soldier,” BJ replied.

Hawkeye groaned as he slid off his cot. He took a look at Charles’ smiling face. “Oh no,” he said with a smile. “If I have to go, you have to go.”

“What? That’s preposterous! Hunnicut, tell him that.”

“They say the more the merrier,” BJ responded. “Let’s go before we miss it.”

“After you,” Hawkeye said to Charles, bowing slightly. The Winchester man returned the mocking gesture before exiting the Swamp.

The first thing the three noticed was how silent the camp was. Even after such a rush, when everyone just crashed, the camp still had some noise. They approached the mess tent, where the movie was to be screened and noted it was empty. However, upon closer inspection, the trio noticed a young blonde woman arguing with an older blond man. “I don’t see why I’m here,” she said. “Ari and them blew up your house.”

“I didn’t ask to be in Korea either,” the man replied.

“No one asked to be in Korea,” Hawkeye said. “I don’t even think the Koreans asked to be in Korea.”

“Ah, Hawkeye, right on time. Please, you three, have a seat,” the man said, motioning to some seats. The blonde girl was still glaring at the man.

“I am sorry, but who are you?” Charles asked.

“Where are my manners? I am Lucius Malfoy. I am from a fandom created quite some years after yours,” the man, Lucius, explained.

“Someone call Sidney,” Hawkeye whispered to BJ.

“Well, congrats, Lucius, you’ve confused them,” the girl replied. “Hand them the packets then explain it.”

Lucius did so. “Well, here’s the deal. My house is currently out of service and somehow my master got his hands on a TV. And he likes you.”

“You poor saps,” the girl interjected. “I’m guessing we’re doing something MASH related?”

“Yes. Now I have to go oversee reconstruction of my house.” With that, the man began to leave the tent. Before he reached the opening, he turned around. “Oh, and they have the ability to count points. You still don’t.” And then he left.

“So, do you have any idea what we are doing?” BJ asked the girl.

“Yes. By the by, my name is Mackenzie,” the girl introduced herself, shaking everyone’s hand. “His master has imprisoned me, forcing me to read bad stories with some others. But our torture chamber is down for the count so you’ll have to do. I’ll be here for the first chapter or so, just so you can get the idea of what we do. Any questions?”

“Any alcohol?” Hawkeye asked.

“Sorry, no,” Mackenzie said. “Anyway, give me a minute to find the story. Ahh, here we go. And I think it’ll star some very familiar names.”

Mac: Kiss Me Kate by msMASH4077th
Charles: Good Lord.
Mac: Oh, we say Good Jonas.
Charles: Why?
Mac: Long story…


Chapter 1

“Full house! Read ‘em and weep boys. Hey Beej, pass me another drink.” Hawkeye Pierce
Hawkeye: Hey, I like the leading man already.
Charles: You would.


had luck when it came to most things. He was a skilled surgeon, good looking, usually won at poker, and used to be a favorite with the ladies.
Hawkeye: I love this story.
Mac: I do wish to note that you USED to be a favorite…


He didn’t know what was with these girls anymore., All of his favorite nurses had turned him down for the past couple of... well, hell he hadn’t been counting. BJ Hunnicut, an easy going guy with a funny mustache
BJ: My mustache is not funny.

was Hawkeye’s tent mate and best friend, passed him a fresh drink from their homemade still. “Hey Hawk, what’s with all the luck.
Mac: Question mark and should be in a new paragraph.

You lose the past couple of times we play and than you take every cent. If I didn’t know you any better I would say that you’re cheating.”

“Hardly, Pierce isn’t that competent. He would need a Genius
Mac: Random capitalization for the win!

IQ to outsmart a Winchester.” Charles Emerson Winchester III, the third occupant of the tent, was a wealthy well to do type of person that loved to flaunt his wealth, family history, and skill in the OR to anyone who would listen.
Charles: I do NOT!
*BJ and Hawkeye clap*


“Hey Winchester! I won this money by playing fair and having Lady Luck by my side. If you don’t like it you can blow it out your…”

“ Now Pierce, let’s keep it civil. Winchester if you have a problem losing some of your pocket money than I suggest that you stay in your bunk nice and quiet next time we come over to play.” Colonel Sherman T. Potter, the CO (commanding officer),
Mac: Exposition, you’re doing it wrong.

was an elderly gentleman who liked to keep his camp casual and loved to ride his horse, Sophie. He was also a very talented painter.
Charles: Well, that’s Potter in a nutshell.

“Personally sir, BJ might be onto something. I mean, Hawkeye’s a nice guy but I’ve never seen someone come back so fast. Anyway, I’m out. I have just enough money to get a drink at the Officer’s Club.”
Hawkeye: Get me one!
Mac: Me too!
Hawkeye: You’re not old enough to drink.
Mac: Am too. *Shows ID*
Hawkeye: Nice fake.


Maxwell Q. Klinger was the company clerk with a nose a mile long.
*All laugh*

He loved to do favors and often snuck behind the Colonel’s back to get the occupant’s of the Swamp, the meager living accommodations set up for the three resident surgeons, rare and sometimes illegal items. “On second thought, I think I might go to Rosie’s. Who wants to join me?” Rosie’s was the local bar, run by a South Korean woman with a mouth on her the size of Texas.
Mac: Oh Joe Jonas, stop it!

“I have some paper work to finish up and I have to call Mildred. In her last letter she said that she wanted to redecorate the front sitting room. I have to talk her out of anything too outrageous. I can’t stand wild patterns.” Colonel Potter slowly got off the stool and stretched. “These bones can’t handle much more. Like another 12 hour shift.” At that moment a voice came over the loud speaker.
Mac: NEW PARAGRAPH!
Charles: This bothers you too?
Mac: And you haven’t seen my grammar Nazi.
Charles: Pardon?


“ATTENTION ALL PERSONELL!
Mac: ATTENTION SPELLCHECK!
Men: What?


INCOMING WOUNDED! THEY’RE DYING TO GET IN!”
Hawkeye: Hardy har har.

Colonel Potter looked at his companions. “Well, you heard the man. Let’s get to work. Maybe we can get through this before the Chinese decide to send some more friends over to play.” He signaled to Klinger to follow him and went to Pre-OP to scrub. Charles got up, grumbling, and followed him. Hawkeye and BJ bent over to put their boots on. “You know Beej, this is getting boring. I mean it’s the same everyday. Operate for 12 hours, get some lousy food in the mess tent, get turned down by a nurse, go to bed, sleep for 2 hours, and get up and do it all over again.
Hawkeye: That’s rather boring. No wonder I’m going crazy.

We need something new. Something out of the ordinary.” They began walking towards the compound.

“Hawk, ol’ buddy. I think you’re right for once. Maybe something different will happen.”
Charles: What was that?
Hawkeye: The first chapter.
Charles: But what was that?
Mac: Info-dump. Rather than spread out characterization throughout the chapter using dialogue and other such tools, the author just tells you everything in one go.
Charles: Oh.
Mac: I think a trip to the officer’s club is in order.
Hawkeye: Yes. I want to see if that id works.
Mac: It’s LEGIT!
*They leave the mess tent.*
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
"Enter Mary Sue"

*Everyone enters the mess tent.*
Hawkeye: You really fooled old Rosie!
Mac: You’re not going to acknowledge it’s legit and I’m twenty-two, are you?
Charles: You’re a fast learner.
Mac: Moving on…


Chapter 2

“Klinger get this man into Pre-Op. Bad chest wound. Corpsman, can I get a stretcher over here? Hey Hawk, do you got any bad cases?” BJ diagnosed the wounded that were filling the compound. There were many minor wounds but a couple that would take a while to fix.
BJ: Wow, I can see that already.
Charles: Really?
Mac: You didn’t let me insert something.
Charles: What?
Mac: And end sarcasm.
BJ: Thank you.


“Sure wish we had another pair of hands. Oh great. Here comes another jeep.” Hawkeye went to meet the jeep. Two wounded men and what appeared to be a medic.
Charles: Yes?
Mac: It’s an unfinished clause.


Hawkeye quickly lifted the bandages on one of the man’s chest. “Whadda we got?”

“A bullet through the shoulder and shrapnel imbedded
Hawkeye: Funny, I always spelled it E-M-B-E-D.
Mac: That’s the accepted version.


in his ribs.” Hawkeye was surprised by the soft female voice coming out of the medic’s mouth.
Hawkeye: I couldn’t tell it was a woman…Wait, what’s a woman medic doing in the army?
Mac: I think I’m going to have to explain Women’s Lib…


The medic looked up and Hawkeye was greeted by a pair of twinkling emerald eyes.
Mac: THEY’RE ALWAYS GREEN!
Hawkeye: What?
Mac: Sues—they nearly always have green eyes.


“This is the 4077th right?”

“Yeah. You’re a girl. What are you doing out in the front?”
Charles: She must’ve tricked the army.
Hawkeye: Why?


Hawkeye had never seen such a beautiful girl. She looked to be in her late teens.
Mac: I’d make a comment, but so do I. As long as she isn’t really in her teens.

She was small but looked strong. She had small tan hands.
Charles: Why do we care?
Hawkeyes: Why am I noticing her hands?


“Ah, here she is! I see you’ve met our new surgeon, Pierce.
All: SHE’S A SURGEON?
Mac: Hello, Mary Sue!


Well, follow me and we’ll get you into Pre-Op.” Margaret Houlihan practically
dragged the poor girl away while Hawkeye was left in the dust with an empty jeep.
Charles: That’s it?
Mac: That was relatively short. Anyway, let’s go. I think I’m going to have to explain “Mary Sues” to you all.
BJ: I think so.
*They leave.*
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
"Hawkeye Gets Bitten"

*Only BJ, Hawkeye and Charles returns*
Charles: Dear MASH crew, Lucius is throwing a fit. Cannot join you today. Good luck on your own. Mackenzie.
Hawkeye: She gets out of Korea and doesn’t take me. Lovely.
BJ: Well, let’s see if we can do this on our own.


Chapter 3

The OR went
Charles: I would’ve said “The OR ran…” but that’s just me.

very smoothly and quicker than usual with the extra pair of hands. Kate, the new surgeon, had been introduced by Margaret.
Hawkeye: BJ, correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t we read that?
BJ: You are not wrong—we did read that.


She was better than Hawkeye on the operating table
Hawkeye: WHAT?

and quick to put arrogant Charles in his place.
Charles: WHAT?

She worked closely with Margaret often giggling over a patient.
All: WHAT?
Hawkeye: I’m sorry, but Margaret would never giggle over a patient! She knows how serious it is in the OR.


Hawkeye was surprised by Kate’s witty sense of humor that rivaled his and BJ’s.
BJ and Hawkeye: WHAT?

“Staff meeting in my office in 10 minutes.” Colonel Potter shed his scrubs and left the room.

“I must say, for a woman, you did quite well in our chaotic operating room.” Charles picked up his hat and walked towards the mess tent.
Charles: When did I forget where Potter’s office was?
BJ: Maybe you wanted something to eat?
Charles: From the mess tent? I’d sooner die.


Margaret and Kate left the room and headed towards Klinger’s office.

“Hawk, you don’t pull your pants off over your head.” BJ was watching his friend very closely.

“Oh, yeah. Thanks Beej.” Hawkeye quit giving himself a super wedgie.
Hawkeye: When did I get so stupid?
Charles: You want a timeline?
BJ: Boys, behave.


“What’s up with you? C’mon let’s go to the Swamp. I need to change and get a stiff drink.” BJ gently led Hawkeye away from the bench.
Hawkeye: That sounds like a great idea.
Charles: For once, I’m inclined to agree with you.


“I should probably clean up. I feel like I haven’t bathed in days. So, uh, what do you think about the new nurse, I mean surgeon?” Hawkeye immediately walked over to the still and poured two drinks. BJ quickly changed out of his scrubs into his signature pink shirt and Converse high tops, size 13.
BJ: I didn’t know I was so predictable.
Hawkeye: How does this author know your shoe size?


Hawkeye threw back his drink and put HIS trademark Hawaiian shirt
All: WHERE?
Charles: Do teachers not teach prepositions anymore?


and walked to the mirror.

“She’s very good. Funny too. Oh, look mail from Peg.
BJ: I’m random.
Hawkeye: That’s why I like you.


Looks like another cookie. Want some?” BJ poured some cookie crumbs out of an envelope into his mouth. “Oomph, Potter’s office now! You know we don’t want to break our tardy record.”
Charles: Who is talking?
Hawkeye: I’m not quite sure…


Hawkeye wiped the shaving cream off his face and put on some of Charles’ aftershave.
Charles: Thief.
Hawkeye: That’s not me. That’s someone pretending to be me.


They hurried to Colonel Potter’s office.
Charles: And an abrupt ending. Wonderful.
Hawkeye: Come on, let’s get out of here.
*All leave*
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
"A Mini-WHAT?"

*BJ, Hawkeye and Charles return to see Mackenzie sitting in the front row again.*
Charles: You return!
Mac: Yeah, the house is finished but Quatre’s still in the mental health facility.
Hawkeye: Does he need a roommate?
Mac: You’re not getting out of this. Chapter 4.


“Is everybody here?” Colonel Potter looked around his office. Everybody was sitting in their usual places;
Gertrude: Colon.
Charles: Good Lord!
Gertrude: Jonas!
*Charles sits slack-jawed*
Hawkeye (to BJ): I don’t know if Charles is in love or scared.


BJ on the saddle, Hawkeye in the chair next to him, Charles and Margaret sitting in the chairs in front of the desk, and the new surgeon sitting next to Margaret, near Hawkeye. “Good. Let’s get down to business; I’m sure you’ve all noticed that we have a new surgeon.”
Hawkeye: Way to state the obvious there, Potter!
Mac: Well, someone apparently has to be Captain Obvious.


“No! You’re kidding! We have a new surgeon? Well, see ya Charles.”

“Peirce,
Hawkeye: That’s not how you spell my name.
*Mackenzie gasps and ducks. Something falls from the sky. She tenderly picks it up and stares.*
Mac: A mini-TEDDY BEAR?
Hawkeye: Looks like Radar’s.
BJ: Aww…
Mac: A teddy bear. I’ve dealt with mini-balrogs, mini-Aragogs and mini-weevils and you lot get a mini-teddy bear? Good Jonas, this is cute and cuddly—not terrifying.
Charles: I think someone else needs that mental health facility.


there’s no need for sarcasm. Let me introduce our newest surgeon, Ms. Katherine Brown. Katherine, you can bunk with Margaret. Is that okay?”

“Call me Kate. I’d be delighted to share Margaret’s tent. That is, if it’s okay with her.” The girl looked shyly at the older women.

“Margaret, is there any reason you would mind sharing your bunk?”

“Of course not Colonel. It will be nice to have some around.”
All: Some…?

“Now wait a minute Colonel. The surgeons are supposed to share a tent and with Charles gone we’ll have an empty bed.
Hawkeye: Please, I wouldn’t offer Charles’ bed.
Charles: Thank you.
Hawkeye: I’d offer my own. With me still in it.
BJ: Of course you would.


I’m sure she’ll be a better roomie.” Hawkeye smiled and winked at Kate. While Kate blushed, Margaret rolled her eyes.

“Put a sock in it
Mac and Charles: Comma.

you pervert. Leave her alone.”

“Are we jealous
Mac and Charles: Comma.

Hot Lips,
Mac: That’s odd. By the time Charles showed up, everyone had stopped calling her Hot Lips…

because I’m sure BJ wouldn’t mind his own place.” Margaret stood up quickly and started towards Hawkeye. Colonel Potter stepped in between them.

“Children, behave like adults. Winchester isn’t getting transferred. Kate is staying with Margaret. BJ gets a gold star for falling asleep during a staff meeting.
BJ: And miss all that? No gold star can make up for it.
Mac: Point BJ.
BJ: What?


And Hawkeye, for your comments, you get to buy us all a drink at the Officer’s Club, Meeting Dismissed.”

Later that night
Mac: Oh, bad transitions. How you transcend fandom boundaries.


As Hawkeye ate dinner, he watched Kate closely as she talked with BJ and Charles. She was very pretty. She had light brown hair that reached just below her shoulders with long curled bangs that framed her face. She had a tan complexion matched by dramatic green eyes and full pink lips. She was small and had a slight hourglass figure. ‘Wow, she fills out that uniform nice.
Mac: Oh, yeah, Mary Sue.

She almost makes khaki look sexy.’ Hawkeye quickly looked away when Kate caught him staring. “Do I have food or something on my face? You keep staring.”
Hawkeye: Sorry, I’ve never seen a Mary Sue before.
Mac: Point Hawkeye.


“No. You look perfect. Um, I’m gonna take a shower.
Mac: A cold shower?
BJ: Of course, we don’t get hot water.
*Mackenzie facepalms*


I’ll see you later.” Hawkeye quickly got up and left the mess tent.

“What was with him? Or is he always that weird?” Kate turned to BJ for an explanation. The only answer BJ could give was to shrug his shoulders.
BJ: He’s always that weird.
Charles: Agreed.
Hawkeye: Thanks, guys. That’s it?
Mac: For now.
*They leave, Mackenzie holding the mini-teddy bear Peirce.*
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
"When Hawkeye Meet the Sue"

*The three MASH characters march into the theater. An older man with graying hair is waiting for them. He stands to introduce himself.*
Remus: Remus Lupin. I usually do this with Mackenzie. Lucius decided to send me today. I don’t want to know what he’s having Mackenzie do.
Charles: Oh…
BJ: He was hoping to meet the strict lady that came out of Mackenzie last time.
Remus: Oh, Gertrude?
Charles: She has another name?
Remus: Gertrude has a whole other identity. Anyway, Chapter 5


As Hawkeye stood in the shower with the hot water washing away the grimy feeling surgery always left on him, he broke into song.
Charles: Glad I wasn’t able to hear it.
Hawkeye: I happen to have a very nice singing voice.


It was an Elvis song that Hawkeye liked because of the operatic feel. As he reached the chorus, he was joined by BJ.
Remus: Which song? Elvis has a very wide catalogue.

"Interesting choice of song. Is there a reason behind it?"
BJ: I’d wonder but I don’t know which song he chose.

BJ stepped in the shower stall, removed his shorts, and turned on the water.

"No. Some of the younger folks were playing it earlier.
Hawkeye: Younger folks? How old does this girl think I am?
Remus: Well, the show ran for a long time...


So, what are you doing after this? You wanna get something to drink at the Officer's Club? Pass me my towel please." BJ passed him a towel and wiped soap out of his eyes.

"I've got to get some laundry done.
Hawkeye: I want to do what?

I might join you later. I've still got to write Peg back
Hawkeye: Oh, I got worried there for a bit.

and I prefer to do that sober." BJ soaped himself up and turned on the water.

"I guess I'll see you later." Hawkeye dried himself off, put on a clean pair of shorts and his robe, and left the showers.

Elsewhere

Margaret and Kate were getting settled in. Kate was soon settled in.
Charles: How riveting.
Remus: Point Charles.


"Who's this? A boyfriend?" Margaret pointed to a picture
of a
Remus: Oh someone hit the enter button early.

handsome G.I. posing in front of a southern-style plantation house with Kate.

"Oh. He's my brother, Jimmy.
Remus: I sense a case of mistaken identity coming up in later chapters.

He got drafted two years ago. I haven't heard from him in a while.
Charles: Me too…

Do you want to go to the Officer's Club?"

"No. I have to write Donald, my ex-husband. He owes me a bunch of money.
Hawkeye: Margaret washed her hands of Donald.

I'll catch up with you later." Margaret sat down and angerally
Charles: Someone failed spelling.
Remus: A-N-G-R-I-L-Y


began writing.

Kate wandered into the Officer's Club and quickly scanned her surroundings. The bar was pretty empty except for Father Mulcahy in the piano,
BJ: He was IN the piano? That’s quite a feat.
Hawkeye: Well, they do say with God, all things are possible.


a couple of nurses in the corner, and a lone Hawkeye sitting at the bar. Nurses or Hawkeye. Kate opted for Hawkeye.
Hawkeye: Of course, I’m the better conversationalist.

"Um, is this seat taken? Or would you like to be alone?" Hawkeye look up to a wonderful sight. KAte was wanting to spend time with him.
Charles: Oh the grammar! It’s atrocious!

"I would love the company. Let me buy you a drink as a 'Welcome to living hell' gift." He ordered her cognac and pulled the stool out for her.
Charles: We have cognac there?
BJ: If so, Klinger’s been hiding the good stuff.


Klinger brought the drink over and a beer for Hawkeye.

"So, uh, we're going to be working together. We should probably get to know each other. Why don't you tell me about yourself." Hawkeye listened intently as Kate described her home.
Remus: Care to share?

" How old are you, 20?"
Hawkeye: I know how long it would take to go through medical school.

"No, actually I'm 26. I graduated Yale two years ago. Then my father's sister died and left me her practice."
Remus: She’s not still a resident?

"You're 26? Wow, I thought you were 18. You're not used to drinking are you? You've barely touched your cognac."
BJ: Maybe she doesn’t like cognac. I don’t recall you asking her, Hawk.

Hawkeye noticed her fidget with the cup.

"I don't mean to be rude but I normally only drink Grape Nihai." Hawkeye's eyebrows shot up at the mention of Radar's favorite drink.
Remus: Oh, I don’t have Mackenzie here…So, how convenient.

"Why didn't you says so.
BJ: Once again, Hawk, you didn’t ask!

Our old company clerk wouldn't drink anything but Grape Nihai. Klinger, give her one of Radar's Grape Nihai's." Klinger quickly came back and fulfilled Hawkeye's request. "There's a movie tonight.
Hawkeye: Don’t fall for it! You may end up doing this.

Would you like an escort?"

"I would love an escort but I was going with Margaret."

"Well BJ could use a date.
BJ: I thought you were my date, Hawk.

We'll pick you up at 8. Is that okay? Wonderful.
Charles: You really don’t let her answer, do you?
Hawkeye: Shut up.


I'll go tell BJ. He's doing laundry. He's a good little housekeeper you know."
Remus: Much better than Rosa…Okay, bad choice of name…

Hawkeye got up and took Kate's hand. "If you'll excuse me, I have a big date tonight and would like to look my best." His eyes twinkled as he danced out of the bar, humming a waltz. As he danced out, Margaret walked in. "There you are. Have you had anything to drink yet? I'm sorry I left you to drink alone." Margaret sat down at the bar.
Remus: That should be a new paragraph.
Charles: Indeed.
Remus: I know, I’m not intimidating like Gertrude.


"Oh, I didn't drink alone. I had a Grape Nihai with Hawkeye. I also got us escorts for tonight's movie. You'll go with BJ and I'll go with Hawkeye." Kate took a swig of her drink and popped a pretzel in her mouth as if it was started choking on her beer.
All: WHAT?
Charles: That made less sense than Hawkeye talking in his sleep!


"You're what! You're going on a date with Benjamin Franklin

Pierce! You poor naiive girl.
Remus: SPELL CHECK!
Charles: What is that?


What were you thinking? Was it one of his lame pick-up lines?"
Hawkeye: My lines aren’t lame!
BJ: Some are.
Hawkeye: Et tu, BJ?


The bar was silent. Everyone was staring at Margaret, who was standing in the middle of the floor, screaming.
Hawkeye: Always a good show at the Officer’s Club.

Kate got up and took Margaret by the hand and led her back to her stool.

"Calm down Margaret. It's just a movie.
Charles: Father Mulcahy will be sitting behind us.

We're going as friends, like you and BJ are. He didn't use any pick-up lines. He was very polite abd asked if we would like to go with him and BJ. I told him that would be lovely. It's 7 o'clock now. They'll pick us up around 8. I'm going to take a shower and get ready. I'll see you later." Kate quietly paid for her drink and left.
Charles: This is utterly boring.
Remus: This is over…For now.
*Everyone leaves.*
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
"Umm...Short and Pointless"

*Charles, Hawkeye and BJ return. A letter is taped to the screen. Charles rips it off*
BJ: What does it say?
Charles: Something about a Doctor, a lot of beer, bananas and a mess. We’re on our own.
Hawkeye: Great. Chapter 6
BJ: Who died and made you Mackenzie?


BANG!BANG!BANG!
Hawkeye: The story is under enemy fire!

Hawkeye knocked on the wooden door. It had a large sign on the front of it that read, "Maj. M. Houlihan Knock before entering!" a smaller sign had been attached to it, " Lt. Katherine Brown."
Charles: That was fast. I still don’t have a name plate above The Swamp door.

"BJ, do you realize that now we have 'Hot Lips Houlihan'
Charles: Wait, was that really her nickname?
Hawkeye: Yes.


and 'Kiss Me Kate' in one tent. That's a sign." Hawkeye looked over at BJ who just rolled his eyes.
BJ: Sounds about right.

"Oh, that's witty. Did you come up with that all by yourself? What a smart boy!" Hawkeye turned to see Kate emerge form the tent.
Charles: So she’s sarcastic as well? Lovely.

She was wearing a light summer dress, light pink with big white buttons down the front. She had pulled her hair into an up-down.
Charles: What is that?
Hawkeye: Does it matter?


'Wow, she looks nice.' Margaret followed wearing a similar dress that was white lined with yellow.
BJ: Why is everyone getting all dressed up? It’s movie night, not a party.

"You are looking lovely this evening, ladies." He offered his arm to Kate, who laced her own arm through his. "Thank you. Actually all the boys in town called me that. It was really funny because I only kissed a few of them."
Charles: This a bit confusing to follow.
Hawkeye: A bit? I can’t tell who is speaking!


Hawkeye opened the door for the women and let it close on BJ.
Charles: I’d laugh but I’m apparent not in this story.

As soon as they were seated, Kate turned to Margaret, "Jimmy would keep a lot of the boys away and thrashed 'em when he heard 'em."
BJ: That was random.

Hawkeye quickly looked up at the mention of another guy. "Who's Jimmy?" he had to know. "Shh!The movie's starting!" was the only response he got.
Hawkeye: That’s rude.
Charles: What that you were talking or that she had the sense to shush you up?
BJ: Point Charles. And that’s it.
*All leave*
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
"What's With the Stupid Notes?"

*All return. A young brown-haired man sits in one of the chairs, dressed in a blue shirt and khakis.*
Sai: Hello.
Charles: I’m guessing you are one of Mackenzie’s friends.
Sai: Yes. I am Sai. It’s my turn to help you with this torture.
Charles: Ahh.
Hawkeye: Welcome. Chapter 7.


Kate and Margaret’s Tent
Sai: Lovely. Title cards.

Margaret placed a vase of flowers on Kate’s nightstand. “What does today’s note read?” Kate sleepily rubbed her eyes and rolled over to face Margaret. Margaret plucked a small white card out of the bouquet of wildflowers and read it out loud. “Kate + Hawkeye + picnic behind supply tent high morale and good time”
Hawkeye: I don’t think I would write such a sappy note.
Sai: I think an equal sign is missing somewhere.


The roommates looked at each other and started laughing hysterically. “Well, you gotta admire him. This makes two months he’s been at it.
All: TWO MONTHS?
Hawkeye: Either I’m losing my touch or she’s stubborn.
Sai: She’s a Sue. She’s stubborn.


Are you going to say yes?” Margaret wiped the tears out of her eyes and looked at the surgeon who had her face buried in her hands. “Nah, I got too much to do. What are we going to do with these flowers? Our tent looks like a florist shop.”
Sai: Some description would do. The story wouldn’t hurt from it. In fact, it might make it bearable.

The Swamp
Hawkeye: Home Sweet Hell…
BJ: Be it ever so humble…


“So Hawk, you having any luck?” BJ dealt his friend two more cards. “With poker? Nah. I’m out. You guys are too good. I’m going to get some breakfast.” Hawkeye stood up and put his bathrobe on.
BJ: You know, we’ve been making all the cracks at the food, not our literary counterparts.
Charles: Food must taste better now that Kate is there.


“More like to see a certain female surgeon. Who, by the way, refuses to meet up with Casanova here on any of the rendezvoused he sets up.” BJ teases Hawkeye about his lost cause every chance he got. Charles was
Sai: Uh oh. *Puts on helmet as tent shakes.*
Hawkeye: What was that?
Sai: Tense change.


only too happy to join in. “Ah, it seems that your Juliet denies thee Romeo. Damn, I’m out. It’s off to the showers with me.”
Charles: The first part sounded like me, but as for the last parts…

Both Charles and Hawkeye walked out of the Swamp, leaving BJ to play poker by himself. “Aww, c’mon, you guys are just sore losers! Come back!”
BJ: I’d be chuckling and counting my winnings.

The Mess Tent

Kate lowered her coffee cup and found herself face to face with a very unshaven Hawkeye.
Sai: What? Did you not own a razor in Korea?
Hawkeye: The only time I don’t shave is if we’re knee deep in wounded.


She slid him a slip of paper and went back to eating her breakfast in silence. “Kate + double shift- time 2 busy 4 you” Hawkeye read aloud. “C’mon Kate!
Charles (Hawkeye): We’re not in junior high school anymore!
Sai: Point Charles.


We’d be beautiful together even just one night” Hawkeye took her hands in his.
Hawkeye: What has happened to me?
Sai: You’ve been Sued.


She removed them and stood up. “Sorry Hawk. I have double shift. I would also like to shower and write Jimmy.” Hawkeye was fed up with all this talk about Jimmy. “Who the hell is this Jimmy guy? Is he your boyfriend? Fiancé? Husband? Is he the reason you won’t give me a chance?” Hawkeye threw his tray across the mess tent
Hawkeye: Okay, I won’t deny I have a temper at times, but there are many things I would throw something over—bad food, the continuation of this damn war, another pointless death, Charles’ snoring…
Charles: I don’t snore!
Hawkeye: But a girl turning me down would not be one!


and looked up at Kate with pleading eyes. “Oh, Hawkeye. Jimmy’s my…” Kate was cut off when a voice came over the intercom.
Sai: How convenient.

“ATTENTION ALL PERSONELL!
Charles: That really isn’t how you spell it.

INCOMING WOUNDED!” Kate rushed off without finishing.
Hawkeye: I’m never going to get a date at this rate!
Charles: I think that’s the plan.
Sai: Chapter’s over. Mackenzie wasn’t kidding when she said these things were short…
*All leave.*
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
"Meet the Brother"

*The trio is huddled in a corner as a masked man sits, waiting for them to finally come over. He sighs.*
Erik: I don’t bite. Mac does.
Hawkeye: She does not.
Erik: You just haven’t provoked her.
Charles: Who are you?
Erik: The Phantom of the Opera…Better known as Erik.
Charles: Opera, you say? Can’t be all that bad.
Erik: Chapter 8.


The OR

Hawkeye looked down at his last patient. A young boy about 20 years old with sandy blonde hair. “He has a bullet lodged in his belly.
Charles: How medical.

It’s been there for a while. It should be easy with a small chance of infection.
Hawkeye: It could’ve scarred over. There’s no way that would be easy.
Erik: Probably didn’t do any research. Happens.


There is also tissue damage in his right leg. It might have to go,”
Erik: House would commiserate.

his nurse handed him a scalpel. Before he started, he looked over at Kate. ‘She was going to tell me about Jimmy. Who is he?’
Charles: Hawkeye, stop thinking about the girl and focus on the patient.

Kate was working mechanically on all of her patients. Her mind was elsewhere. ‘Why was Hawkeye so angry about her big brother?’
Hawkeye: Because you didn’t tell me about him, IDIOT!
Erik: Oh, manufactured angst. Still sucks.


“I’m done. Are there anymore?”

Post OP Later

“Is this the boy with the tissue damage? Send him home. What’s his name? I want to tell him the good news.”
All: Who is talking?

Before the nurse could reply, Kate walked in. “Hey, Margaret said you needed some help.” Kate looked down at the bed and screamed. “Oh, God! Jimmy!”
Erik: In lieu of Quatre…dun dun DUN!

Hawkeye spun around in time to see his patient open his eyes. ‘Was this the famous Jimmy?’ “Hey, Baby Girl. Whadda ya doin this far from home?”
Hawkeye (Kate): Looking for you. Mom is PISSED!
Charles: Point Hawkeye.


She grabbed his hand and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Jimmy closed his eyes and fell asleep. Hawkeye couldn’t stand it, he had to get out. Margaret beckoned to him from the lab. He quickly ran to his escape. “What do you need?” Margaret shoved some papers in his hand. “These are the results form the muscle tissue you sent in. You were right. It is gangrene. The leg has to go.”
Charles: It’s never just simple.

Hawkeye was dreading telling Kate that her Jimmy could die.
Erik: More manufactured angst. Lovely.

That Night

Hawkeye glanced over at Kate, who had fallen asleep at Jimmy’s side. It was almost time for her shift. He decided he would take her shift too.
BJ: Hawk, what type of effect does this girl have on you?
Hawkeye: I’m a wimp.


She was too tired and emotionally drained. He walked over and gently picked her up and moved her to the bed next to Jimmy. Very carefully
Charles: Comma.

he covered her up and hesitantly kissed her on the forehead,
Charles: Period.

Kate opened her eyes and was surprised to see Hawkeye. “Hawk! Thank you for saving my big brother!” She gave him a kiss on the cheek. ‘Big brother? I might have a chance.’
Erik: Oh, you definitely have a chance.

Go back to sleep. I’ll take your shift. I’ll wake you if anything changes with Jimmy.” Kate looked at Hawkeye with a new admiration and fell asleep. This was what Hawkeye was waiting for. He motioned for Margaret to bring over the sedative. “I feel really bad about this. It’s like backstabbing my best friend.”
BJ: I thought I was your best friend.
Hawkeye: You are. I really don’t have a relationship with this thing.
Erik: Join the club. I had my own Sue as well.


Hawkeye turned to Margaret as Jimmy was being wheeled into the OR. “Margaret, that boy is Kate’s big brother, Jimmy. I have to save him and his leg. I can’t let her in there. Just, please, keep her asleep. For Kate’s sake.”
Charles: So this is all for Kate? What about Jimmy?

Hawkeye said this with such genuine feeling that Margaret had tears in her eyes. She nodded and helped Hawkeye into his scrubs.
Erik: And we end. Mackenzie wasn’t kidding. These are more abrupt than Ang…Ang…
Hawkeye: Are you okay?
Charles: Don’t make fun of someone with a speech impediment.
Mac: He’s trying to say Angey. Now come on.
*All leave.*

You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
"This Sounds Awfully Familiar"

*They return. It’s just the trio, again*
Charles: Well, more of this torture.
Hawkeye: I’m starting to think the front lines might not be so bad.
BJ: Chapter Nine.


In the OR

“Hawkeye, I have no idea how you plan on getting the gangrene out of this boy’s leg. It’s gonna have to go.”
Charles: That’s the logical conclusion.
Hawkeye: Didn’t Erik mention something about a House last time?
BJ: How would a house help?
Hawkeye: Yeah, crazy.


BJ handed Hawkeye a scalpel.
*Mac appears with a man with a cane.*
Mac: Gentlemen, this is Dr. House.
House: Why did you bring me to MASH?
Mac: msMASH4077 is writing a story where I think she may be using part of your back story.


“I’m going to cut out only the infected tissue.
House: Oh, this does sound familiar. *Rubs leg.*

Suction.” Hawkeye was determined to save Jimmy’s leg.
House: But subject him to a lot of pain. By the way, where’s my Vicodin?
Mac: I had to give Wilson your Vicodin to get you. He’s crafty that way.


Hours Later

Hawkeye stopped Margaret from giving Kate another syringe full of sedative.
Hawkeye: She may never have awoken again.
Charles: This girl did not bother researching at all. And she calls herself an author.
House: Hey, is Kate the Sue?
Mac: Yep.
House: Give it to her anyway, Margaret.


“It’s okay. We’re done.” With that said, Hawkeye collapsed onto the bed next to Kate, still in his scrubs.
BJ: For being in a war, we have a lot of empty beds.

Before he fell asleep, Hawkeye looked at Kate. “Margaret, give him 2 ccs of penicillin every half-hour. Might decrease the chance of infection. Oh, don’t answer any of her questions. I’ll do it.” Hawkeye fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
All: Lucky.

Kate woke up shortly after Margaret had administered the first dose of penicillin. “What’cha doin? How long have I been out? How’s Jimmy?”
Charles: Slow. Down.

Kate sat up and ran a hand threw
Mac: Homonyms. Always throw people off.

her hair. “I’m sorry. I can’t answer any questions. Hawkeye will answer them when he regains consciences. Oh, your shift’s over. Go get some breakfast.” Margaret threw Kate a helpless look and gave one of the patients some water. Kate looked over at the sleeping Hawkeye who was sporting a beard and a set of bloody scrubs. After checking on Jimmy,
Charles: Who I guess still has his legs…
Mac: Oh, block paragraphs of doom!


she moved over to Hawkeye’s cot and pulled off his boots and dirty scrubs. When she turned around to cover him up, a very sleepy Hawkeye was looking at her. “You know, you don’t have to wait until I’m asleep to undress me.” Kate decided to ignore his comment and get straight to the point. “How’s Jimmy? Why won’t Margaret answer my questions and why were you wearing scrubs?”
BJ: You can tell she’s green—she finds it odd we’re wearing scrubs! In the middle of a war!
Hawkeye: Imagine that.


Hawkeye rubbed his chin. ‘She’s got me cornered. I can’t avoid it any longer.’ “Kate please take this as professionally as possible. Jimmy’s leg had gangrene in it. I opened him back up to see if I could cut out the infected tissue. If he doesn’t get an infection, he could probably keep his leg. I’m not sure it will work. I’m sorry Kate I tried.”
Charles: So, wait, you did nothing?
Hawkeye: I don’t know.


Hawkeye couldn’t stand to see her cry. “Hawkeye please don’t joke around. This is my brother we’re talking about. Please Hawk.” Hawkeye opened his arms and Kate fell into them. ‘This feels so wonderful.’
House: Of course it is a ploy for them to get together.
Mac: Sue.
Charles: I think I’m going to be sick.
Mac: Oh, I knew I forgot something…


Even though he had dreamt about holding Kate, it didn’t feel right when her brother could die.
BJ: Not if you amputate the leg. It’s better to lose a limb than your life!
House: Not necessarily…
Mac: You don’t care about either.


He knew the only reason she was where she was because he was the only one around.
Hawkeye: Poor me.
BJ: Well this is over…
Charles: For now.
Mac: Let’s go.
*All leave.*
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
"This isn't MASH, it's General Hospital."

*BJ, Hawkeye and Charles enter. A few minutes later, Mackenzie walks in. She’s carrying coffee and looks a bit ragged.*
Charles: What have you been up to?
Mac: Revolution.
Hawkeye: Against what?
Mac: Cows.
Men: PARDON?
Mac: Chapter Ten.


Jimmy’s condition got worse with time. Kate sat with him everyday.
Charles: Hopefully she’s still helping with the wounded.

Hawkeye tried his best to help him. Even Colonel Potter treated him with special care. One day he called Hawkeye and BJ into his office. “Boys, the leg had to go.
BJ: Glad somebody decided to cut it off.
Hawkeye: But who?
Charles: Perhaps one of us finally had some sense to do it while you were wooing Kate.
Mac: Point Charles.


Hawkeye we all know how hard you’ve tried. Now, the big question is, who’s going to tell Kate?”
Mac: How about you, Colonel?

Everybody looked at Hawkeye. “Hey! I’ve got an idea. Why don’t I tell her. I am Jimmy’s doctor. I’m also very good at ruining people’s days.”
BJ: He was stable before Hawk cut into him, right?
Mac: I couldn’t tell, but yeah.
BJ: Why didn’t we order an emergency copter to Tokyo?
Mac: That would be logical and not allow Hawkeye and Kate to have such angsty moments.
BJ: Ahh.


Hawkeye stormed out of the office. “And maybe lives.”

Post OP

‘Uh, Kate, I need to talk to you. I’m sorry I tried. The infection is spreading. If we don’t stop it now, he might die. I tried so hard. I know how important he is to you. I hate myself for not saving his leg, I hate that I was jealous of him.”
Hawkeye: I don’t feel so well.
Mac: Oh, right. *Pulls out bags.* These are sappy sickness bags. *Hands them out.*


Hawkeye couldn’t continue. Tears were streaming down both faces.
Mac: Where’s Quatre’s tissue box when you need it?
Hawkeye: I’m pathetic.


“He’s a track star. He was training for the Olympics, Hawk. The Olympics.”
Charles: Of course he was. Such is life.

Kate buried her face in his chest and his arms wrapped around her tightly. This was a familiar position now. They had spent many hours like this.
*All hurl*
Mac: Here’s some water.
Charles: Thank you.


“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Mac: That’s the Doctor’s line.

Hawkeye buried his face in her hair. It smelled sweet, like strawberries.
Hawkeye: When we go back to the Swamp, I’m emptying the still.
BJ: I’m joining you.


“Do you want me to tell him?” Hawkeye had to do the procedure soon or else it would spread even more. “No. I’ll do it. I’m his sister.”
Charles: How about you send him to a proper hospital in Tokyo and let a doctor there do that?
Mac: Here’s the thing: It’s all about the angst. Then comes the professions of love, marriage and babies.
Hawkeye: I think I’m just going to feed the gin straight into my veins.


Kate looked at him with such defiance he was scared. “I’ll be right here if you need me.” Kate sat down next to Jimmy.
Mac: There should’ve been a new paragraph awhile ago.

Hawkeye stood behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. “Jimmy, honey, wake up. I’ve got some bad news.” Jimmy woke up. ‘God, I can’t do this.’ Hawkeye seemed to read her mind and gently squeezed her shoulder. Kate took a deep breath. “ Your leg is till infected. It’s spreading. Either the leg has to go or you might die.” Kate threw her arms around her big brother. “Oh, Jim! We’re sorry. Hawkeye tried so hard. HE tried to save your leg. Please don’t be mad.”
Charles: Is this a war or an episode of some ridiculous soap opera?
Mac: THAT’S IT! This is really General Hospital, not MASH! Point Charles.


Jimmy closed his eyes. When he opened them, he looked directly at Hawkeye. “It’s alright. I knew it. Thank you Dr. Pierce.” His eye glazed over.
BJ: He doesn’t know what he’s saying—he’s under heavy sedation.
Mac: Well, he isn’t going to be too happy when he wakes up.

Hawkeye: I need alcohol and I need it now!
BJ: To Rosie’s!
Charles: I am in agreement.
*All leave.*
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
"Ten Beers? Really?"

*The trio returns. This time, a tall man with wild blond hair and a regal appearance awaits them.*
Charles: You must be a friend of Mackenzie’s.
Jareth: In a way, yes. I am Jareth, the Goblin King.
Charles: I’m starting to wonder why her friend Quatre is the only one in a mental facility.
Jareth: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. We’re all fine.
Charles: Right.
BJ: I like Mackenzie’s friends. Chapter Eleven.


Captain James Daniel Brown received the Purple Heart for valiantly losing a limb.
Hawkeye: Naturally. What do they give you if you lose your mind?
Charles: A section eight and a nice white straightjacket.


His little sister was the witness when it was pinned on him. He left camp two weeks after his amputation. He was being shipped stateside.
BJ: Lucky dog.

Day of Jimmy’s Departure

Hawkeye was giving his patients one last look over. Kate had been sent to the showers. Margaret had been ordered to make sure she shampooed her hair and didn’t appear until she resembled the southern belle Jimmy remembered.
Jareth: Where is she going to get a nice Southern dress?
Hawkeye: Oh, I’m sure Klinger has a Scarlet O’Hara outfit somewhere in his wardrobe.

“Doctor Pierce, can I talk to you? Man to man. Not doctor to patient.” Hawkeye finished inspecting what was left of Jimmy’s leg. “Sure, Jim. What’s up?”

“Well, I see the way your eyes follow my sister.
BJ (Jim): And I don’t like it.

Now that I’m going home, I need someone to make sure my Baby Girl don’t get hurt. I figured you’d be the perfect man. You in love a little bit with my Baby.”
Jareth: I know some brothers are very protective and caring of their little sisters, but this is making me feel a bit squicky.
Hawkeye: Squicky. I like that word.


Jimmy’s thick southern accent had revealed to Hawkeye that he’d been read like a book.
Charles: Not so much a book but a sentence written by msMASH4077 saying “Hawkeye loved Kate.”

“You’re wrong my friend.” Hawk looked at the young man’s confused expression and continued, “I’m very much in love with your sister.
Jareth: Oh, did Mac being any sappy sickness bags?
Charles: Yep, here. *He passes them out*


I wouldn’t let anything happen to her even if you didn’t ask. I’m just scared she doesn’t feel the same.” Jimmy smiled widely showing off his perfect, white teeth.
Jareth: Of course. A Sue’s brother would have to be a Stu.

“Oh, she likes you a lot. But she hasn’t loved anyone since Doug Patterson. He was her fiancé.
Jareth: I feel a tragic back story coming on. Cheating bastard or dead?
Hawkeye: I’m going with dead. Reason why she became a surgeon.
Jareth: You’ve learned well, grasshopper.


Things were great until she caught him and her best friend going swimming without their suits.
BJ: And it was door number one, cheating bastard. Too bad. Thanks for playing.
Hawkeye: Do I get any consolation prizes?


She buried herself in her work and hasn’t gotten involved with anyone since. It’s nothing personal, Dr. Piece.
All: Who?
*A mini-teddy bear falls*
Jareth: Mackenzie wasn’t kidding! Eh, I’ll take it. It can entertain a child for me.


She just doesn’t want to get hurt.” Hawkeye was speechless. Why would anyone want to do that to Kate? “Oh, and Dr. Pierce, I’ve talked to Dr. Hunnicut. He’s not going to let you fool around on my sister.” BJ heard that and smiled at Hawk. Hawkeye was about to reply when Kate walked in, looking breathtakingly beautiful.
Charles: How so?
Jareth: Hmm, usually Suethors are good at describing clothes and appearances.


“Hey boys, what’s going on?” She walked over and gave Jimmy a kiss. “Nothing, just talking to your friends. I’m shipping out soon; I want to know what to tell Dad who his little girl is around.”
Charles (Jimmy): And where you ran off to. He’s been worried.
Jareth: Point Charles.


As Jimmy got on the bus, he looked at Kate and Hawkeye. “Be good to him, Baby Girl. He’s a nice guy who means well.” The bus doors closed and Jimmy was headed home. “Whadda ya think he meant by that?” Hawkeye led Kate towards the Officer’s Club. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. Let’s get rip-roarin drunk.”
Hawkeye: HEAR, HEAR!

10 Beers Later
BJ: Just ten?
Hawkeye: That’s barely buzzed, not rip-roaring drunk!


“One more Klinger, for both of us.” Hawkeye stopped Kate from having an 11th beer. “No more for you. This is more than you need. Time to go home.” Hawkeye put an arm around a very drunken Kate and helped her out of the Officer’s Club. Halfway across the compound Kate passed out.
Hawkeye: Lightweight.
Charles: Point Hawkeye.


Hawkeye picked her up and carried her to her tent. The lights were off and Margaret wasn’t there, so Hawkeye took off Kate’s boots and covered her up. “Now, I’m not leaving you alone, you’re too drunk. I’ll sit here until Margaret gets back.”
BJ: Aww, Hawk, you going to read her a bedtime story?
Hawkeye: That’s your department, Dad.


Hawkeye sat down on Margaret’s bed. He eventually fell asleep and that’s how Margaret found them when she returned in the morning.
Charles: What was she doing all night?
Hawkeye: Maybe she had rounds.
Jareth: She disappeared because it was convenient.
All: Ahh…
*They leave*
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
"Umm, Yeah. Nothing Really to Read Here."

*The men march in. Another note was taped to the screen.*
Charles: Dear Boys, I checked out the chapter beforehand. It’s short—just a paragraph. You can handle it on your own. See you for Chapter Thirteen! Mackenzie.
Hawkeye: How do you like them apples?


“Pierce, do you wanna explain why you’re in my bed?” Margaret’s shrill voice woke Hawkeye up. ‘God I forgot how bad hangovers were.’
Hawkeye: I was NOT hungover!

He heard Kate moan as she woke up. “Geez Margaret, turn off the sun. My head. Oh, my head. What happened?” Hawkeye opened his eyes to see a dishelmed,
Charles: I don’t believe that’s a word.

irate Margaret and the top of Kate’s ponytail, the rest of her hidden under her blanket. For a minute Hawkeye didn’t remember anything, then the whole night came rushing back. He remembered Jimmy’s talk, Jimmy leaving, Kate crying, having 10 beers, carrying Kate to her tent, and waiting for Margaret.
BJ: Was that the last chapter summed up in ONE sentence?
Charles: One boring sentence.


Before Hawkeye could answer, BJ and Colonel Potter stuck their heads in the tent. “We have a missing surgeon. Oh, there you are Hawk.” BJ took one look at Hawkeye and burst out laughing. Colonel Potter calmly surveyed the scene. “Pierce you have Post-OP duty at noon.” He left the tent.
Charles: Potter has the right idea.
BJ: Says someone who hasn’t been in this thing for chapters now.
Charles: We Winchesters are lucky.


Kate reached to her nightstand drawer, groping around from under her blanket. She finally found what she was looking for and emerged wearing an oversized pair of aviator sunglasses, her dad’s.
Hawkeye: And nothing else? *Wiggles eyebrows suggestively*
BJ and Charles: Hawk…


“Hey Hawk, what are you doing in Margaret’s bed?” Kate obviously didn’t remember anything. “Just checking for Chinese soldiers.
Hawkeye: To bad Frank still isn’t here…
BJ: He’d love this…


Anyway, I should go shower.” He painfully climbed off Margaret’s bed. Margaret look at Kate question ling,
Charles: That wasn’t proper English.

Kate just shrugged.
BJ: That was just one paragraph.
Charles: One painful paragraph.
Hawkeye: You weren’t in it.
Charles: But that doesn’t mean I can’t feel pain over the massacre of proper grammar.
*All leave*
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
*This Chapter Has No Title as Mackenzie Is Still Laughing*

*They return, meeting Mackenzie in the tent. She is holding cups.*
Hawkeye: You smuggled in booze!
Mac: No. It’s coffee for you three, hot chocolate for me.
BJ: Just as good.
Mac: Chapter Thirteen.


My Sweetest Baby Girl,
Mac: Oh, Hawkeye, did you finally get the girl?
Hawkeye: No, that’s her brother’s nickname for her.
Mac: Oh Joe Jonas.


I’m home and I have some big news. Do you remember Amy Richards? You went to school with her.
Mac (Kate): Oh, you mean the one we teased everyday?

She’s going to be your new sister-in-law.
Mac (Kate): Crap.

I’m getting married as soon as you get back. No way is my Girl not going to be there.
Charles: This is still bordering on squicky.
Mac: I think Amy should be afraid.


Speaking of love, you should really give love a second chance. Not all men are like Doug Patterson.
Mac: Bastard who broke her heart?
Hawkeye: Bingo.
Mac: Of course.


Who, by the way, is fighting in Korea.
Charles: Why do I sense that we will be meeting this Doug Patterson soon?

I know for a fact that someone who is very much in love with you is waiting for you to open your heart. Be good to him and try. I think you know who I’m talking about.
Hawkeye: Who? *Looks around to see the others pointing at him.* Oh.

Please give my regards to everybody at the 4077th. Please tell Drs. Hunnicutt and Pierce to remember their promises. Dad sends his love.

Yours Always,
Jimmy


Kate read the letter very carefully. Was he talking about Hawkeye?
Mac: No, Charles.
Charles: Not even. Potter.
BJ: Please, he has Mildred. Klinger.
Hawkeye: But who would wear the dresses?


She didn’t know. What she did know was that she was going to take his advice.

The Swamp

“Message for Captain B. F. Pierce.” Klinger banged into the tent. “He went on strike. Give it to his secretary.” A voice came from what seemed to be a giant lump on Hawkeye’s cot. Klinger handed it to BJ and went on his way. “Looks like all your dreams came true. It’s from Kate.”
Mac: Okay, we have to do a mandatory aww, even without Remus.
Hawkeye: What’s a mandatory aww?
Mac: It comes after a scene you know the author wants the audience to go “aww” for. So, three…two…one…
All: Aww.


BJ held the note out as Hawkeye lunged for it. “Kate! Did you tell her anything? I wonder what she wants.” Hawkeye tore the envelope open.

Hawkeye,
Mac: Leave me alone.

Please join me for a southern-style picnic. There will be a jeep waiting behind the supply tent at noon. If you are not interested or able to come, please send word before noon.

-Kate

Hawkeye’s heart leapt for joy. What time was it?
Charles: Twelve-oh-one.
Mac: Point Charles.


He didn’t know but he was going to be waiting behind the supply tent. Hawkeye jumped and grabbed his robe and toiletries. “Hey Hawk! Where’s the fire?” BJ was thoroughly confused. “Read this. I’ve got to get ready.” Hawkeye threw him the note and sprinted to the showers.

Head Nurse/ Surgeon’s Tent

“You can’t be serious! Going out with “Hawkeye Pierce! I thought we already talked about this! He’s a scamp!” Margaret was frantic when she heard about Kate’s plan. “Look! You’re not the only one who can find someone. Yes, I know about you and Charles!
All: WHAT?
*Mac falls over laughing. Charles grows red.*


That’s where you were when Hawkeye brought me home. I’m not blind.” With that said, Kate left the tent.
Hawkeye: That’s rich. Margaret and Charles. Please…

At noon Kate was waiting in the jeep behind the supply tent. Hawkeye was nowhere to been seen. ‘I guess he’s not coming. Maybe I waited too late
Gertrude: Long.
Charles: Hello.


to give him a chance.’ She started to get out of the jeep when a breathless Hawkeye ran up. “I’m sorry I’m late. They locked me in the showers. I came as soon as I could. Would you believe that Charles is actually pretty strong?”
All: Yes.
Charles: Thank you.


Hawkeye hopped into the jeep as Kate started it up. She drove in silence and it was pretty obvious that she was really shy.
All: Really?
Charles: She seemed so outgoing in the previous chapters.


Hawkeye noticed that and laughed. “What’s this? We’ve worked together for months and now you’re shy. You don’t have to be shy; I’m not going to bite.
Mac: I might.

Well maybe not now.” Kate laughed at the last comment. “I haven’t done this in a while. I’m a little rusty. I’ve always been too busy to date much. Here we are, do you mind grabbing the picnic basket. It’s a bit heavy.” Hawkeye flexed his muscles and picked up the picnic basket. He gasped. “Geesh! This is heavy. What did you pack? A kitchen?” Kate laughed and spread out a green army blanket. Hawkeye plopped down as Kate laid out the food.
Hawkeye: I would love to know what she nicked for this dinner.

They finished in record time, neither talking much. “Do you wanna go for a walk?” Hawkeye opened one eye, waiting for Kate’s answer. “Yeah, I guess. You know, you’re not what Margaret warned me against. She made you out to be a sex crazed maniac.” “Margaret warned you about me? There’s nothing to warn against. I’m not like that anymore. I don’t just chase nurses for the fun of it.”
Hawkeye: I did.
Mac: Then Alan Alda took over and gave the show a moral message.


Hawkeye looked genuinely hurt. “Why don’t you chase nurses around anymore? Did you get tired of it? Or did they just lose interest in you?”
Mac: I told you why!

Hawkeye sat up and moved closer to Kate. ‘Wow he’s got pretty eyes.’ Kate couldn’t help but notice that Hawkeye had deep laugh lines edged into his face. “No they didn’t get tired of me. I just found someone worth waiting for.”
BJ: Is that a mandatory aww?
Mac: No, that’s a mandatory sappy sickness bag handout. *Passes out the bags*


Hawkeye leaned in close and closed his eyes. Kate’s eyes closed the moment her lips touched his. Hawkeye pulled back. It had been as light as a butterfly landing on her lips. “You came to camp.” Kate looked at him. ‘Maybe Jim was right.’ “Hawkeye I didn’t mean to be rude but it’s just...” Hawkeye put a finger over her lips. “It’s okay. I know about Doug Patterson. Jimmy told me. He asked me to watch out for you. He said you’d come around.” Hawkeye leaned into her lips.

On the way back to camp, Hawkeye pointed out another jeep. “That’s from the 4077th. Why don’t we pop in and say hi?” Kate pulled the jeep over and quietly began walking. There, in a clearing, were Majors Houlihan and Winchester, snogging like there was no tomorrow.
Charles: GAH!
Mac: Snogging? msMASH4077 is BRITISH?


Hawkeye couldn’t help it, he laughed out loud. Margaret gave a small cry of surprise when she realized they had been spotted. She pushed Charles off of her and looked at a very shocked Kate and the hysterical Hawkeye. Charles turned a shade of red only cherries have reached.
Hawkeye: I think cherry red has been achieved by some other things.

The blush reached all the way up his bald head. “So this is where you were when Kate was intoxicated? Charles, you lucky dog. Why didn’t you tell us? This is the second time one of my roommates has had a romance with you Margaret. Is it becoming a habit?”
All: Oh, Frank…

Kate grabbed Hawkeye and dragged Hawkeye away from the embarrassed couple. She was still mad at Margaret and she was not ready to make nice.
Mac: Cue the Dixie Chicks!
Hawkeye: Where?
Mac: Never mind.
Charles: Now I have the image of me and Margaret…Ugh.
BJ: So do we.
Mac: Fine. *Takes out pill bottle. Gives two to each man* This is what we call bleeprin, or brain bleach.
Charles: Brain bleach?
Mac: Yep. It’s been designed to help erase bad images.
*The men shrug and take it. They leave.*
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
"Doug Patterson Graduated from the Dorian Fynn and Damian Steele School of Being Evil"

*The men return to see a penguin sitting in an ice bath.*
Charles: There is a penguin sitting in our mess tent.
Octavius: Yes, there is. I’m Octavius.
Charles: And it talks.
Hawkeye: Yet, I’m not surprised.
Octavius: Chapter Fourteen.


A week went by and everybody noticed the tension between Margaret and Kate. They refused to speak to each other. Kate spent her every free moment with Hawkeye and BJ.
Hawkeye and BJ: Yay.

BJ noticed a sudden change in Hawkeye’s behavior. He was nicer and he didn’t make crude comments, at least in front of any ladies. Kate was more relaxed about their relationship. But one event changed all of their lives.
Octavius: dun dun DUN! Quatre does it better…

The Officer’s Club

“So tell us again how your friend ended up in the morgue. It cracks me up every time.
Hawkeye: Because I love a good “got so drunk, they thought I was dead” story.

Hey, Klinger another round here.” Hawkeye slung an arm around Kate’s waist and pulled her close, snuggling his head into the crook between her neck and shoulder. Kate was about to tell the story when the door opened and she gasped. “Kissing Kate!
BJ: I thought it was Kiss Me Kate?
Octavius: You expected consistency?


I never thought I’d see you in Korea. What are you doing with these clowns?” A broad chested man swaggered over to where Kate was sitting with Hawkeye and BJ.
Octavius: I am seeing a cartoonesque macho bad guy.
Hawkeye: Me too.


“Why don’t you come over here and give me a kiss. You know for old time’s sake.” Hawkeye looked at Kate for an explanation to this man’s comment. He saw that she was plainly uncomfortable with him being here and was getting pretty ticked off.
BJ: I sense the cheating bastard has returned. What do you think Charles?
Charles: I…I really can’t…
Hawkeye: I don’t think the bleeprin worked.
Charles: Maybe if you didn’t spend the entire night singing “Charles and Margaret sitting in a tree…”


“I wouldn’t kiss you if it ended all the wars, Doug Patterson.
Hawkeye: Well, let’s not be too hasty.

And when you get the chance, go to hell!” Kate got up and started towards the door when Doug Patterson grabbed her arm and swung her around. “I’ve been there. It’s quit nice in the summer.
Octavius: Mac roots for their hockey team.
Charles: Once again, that doesn’t surprise me.


Is that anyway to speak to your old fiancé? I know we didn’t part on the best of terms but can’t we put that behind or are your panties still in a bunch?”
Hawkeye: This guy is so ridiculously “evil,” I can’t hate him.
Octavius: He’s giving Stuart Townsend and Creepy Love Interest a run for their money.
Charles: Who?


Kate slapped him across the face and pulled away. Doug took a minute to recover. He lunged towards Kate and collided with Hawkeye. “Hey buddy, I think we just need to calm down. You’re okay and it’s not like you didn’t deserve it. I mean you did cheat on her.”
Octavius: New paragraph.

“Oh, yeah. Is that what she told you?
Hawkeye: What, is she the cheating bastard? Err, bitch?

Who are you? Her new boy toy? Are you pitiful or what?”
BJ, Charles and Octavius: OH SNAP!
Hawkeye: Sure, rub it in. I have the still.


Hawkeye’s face was suddenly in contact with the very large fist of Kate’s former fiancé.
All: Ouch.

“No, I’m not her boy toy. I’m the man that loves her.”
Hawkeye: Perhaps he should’ve punched me after that declaration.
Octavius: It would make more sense.
Charles: Ahh, but logic has taken a holiday. If not, I would not be paired with Margaret!
BJ: Calm down!


Hawkeye jumped on Doug and proceeded to hit him repeatedly in the face and torso. BJ pushed Kate back away from the brawling men and tried to pull them apart. “Hawk, c’mon get off this guy. Hey, fella, watch where you aim.” He finally succeeded with a little bit of help.
Charles: Is this supposed to be an action sequence?
Octavius: Yeah. Suethors have the ability to make them boring.


Both stood up, Hawkeye had blood streaming down his face flowing freely from a cut on his forehead and a bloody nose.
BJ: The bloody nose I can understand. Where did the cut come from?
Hawkeye: Description would be a wonder.


Kate ran up to him and started examining his face. “Oh, Hawk. Are you okay? You’re cut up pretty bad.” “What you pity him? Katie you went down in the world. Dating little boys.”
Octavius: I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Hawkeye is a lot older than this cartoon.

Hawkeye went to jump on him when Kate held him back. “No Doug, I moved up in the world. Instead of dating scum, I’m dating a man who’s more a man than you’ll ever be.”
Charles: Snoozefest.
Octavius: Lifetime movie.


Doug pulled out a gun and pointed it at the two, his pride was clearly injured. “You’ll regret this day Katie.” He pulled the trigger and Kate screamed as Hawkeye hit the floor.
Octavius: They shot Hawkeye!
Hawkeye: Thank you!
Charles: Shoot me! Shoot me!
BJ: Okay, I think we all need to get out of here.
*They leave.*
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
"CONFESSIONS OF LOVE!"

*The trio returns and is slightly relieved to see Mackenzie again*
Mac: Hi, boys! Ready for Chapter Fifteen?
Hawkeye: Why are you so happy?
Mac: After this, we only have the epilogue.
Charles: Praise Jonas!
Mac: Come on.


Hawkeye opened his eyes. In front of him was a worried Kate. “Oh, Hawk. How do you feel?” She helped him sit up slowly. “Like I was hit by a truck. What happened? Can I have some water?” She held the water glass up to his parched lips and brushed the hair back off his forehead, examining the deep cut that was neatly stitched up. “You were shot remember.
Gertrude: Question mark.

Oh, honey. You’re eye is swollen. Too bad our best chest man was the patient. We had to get the next in line to remove that bullet.
BJ: Me?
Charles: Me?
Mac: Potter?
Hawkeye: I could do it on myself…


I’m just glad my hands weren’t shaking too badly.”
All: HER?
Mac: I should’ve seen that coming. I REALLY should’ve seen that coming.
Charles: We all should’ve.
Mac: Yeah, but I’ve been doing this longer. I can predict what a Sue is going to do or say before it happens.
Hawkeye: Don’t beat yourself up. I’ll give you a glass of bathtub gin when we get out of here, fake ID or no fake ID.
Mac: I’m really twenty-two!


She gave him a smile and a kiss. “You should lie down and rest. BJ’s on duty. I took your shift. Not that I could have left you anyway.”
Mac: Mandatory aww in three…two…one..
All: Aww.


She fluffed his pillow and handed him some pills. He gratefully took them and swallowed them all down at once. “Where’s Patterson?” “He was escorted away by the M.P.’s immediately. He’s being held at Tokyo until the trial.” “Whoa, what trial?”
Hawkeye: Hello, he shot me!

“He’s being tried for attempted manslaughter. Oh, Hawk, why’d you do it?” “Do what?” “Why did you get in it with him? He wouldn’t have pulled a gun on you if it weren’t for me. I’m the reason you’re in such a bad way.”
Mac: ANGST! ASSUME THE POSITION!
Charles: What, pray tell, is the position?


She buried her head in her hands, very upset. Hawkeye pulled her hands away and held them in his. “Kate, look at me. I did it because I love you.
Hawkeye: BAG or a dry martini.
Mac: Bag.


I couldn’t let anything happen to you. Besides, I made a promise to your brother.” Hawkeye kissed her forehead and lay down. “Now run along, the doctor orders the patient to rest. Both of them.” Kate smiled and went back to her tent leaving the wounded soldier in BJ’s capable hands.

Once she got into to her tent, she burst into tears.
Mac: Oh, darn. Where does Quatre keep that tissue box?

How could she let somebody get hurt on her account? Even BJ had jumped in between her and the fight. She had tried so hard not get hurt and when she gave it a chance, someone else had gotten hurt. Margaret came in with Charles trailing her.
Charles: I can’t watch. *Closes eyes.*

One look at Kate, and she was ushering Charles out the door with a she-needs-me-right-now.
Hawkeye: Oh, spare us the snogging! It’s horrible! Oh no, don’t take off the coats!
*Mac slaps him*
Mac: Stop it! You’re gone, Charles.
Charles: Thank you.


No words were said but Margaret put a sisterly-arm around Kate.
Mac: As opposed to what other type of arm?

“I’m sorry. He’s not the way he used to be. He really does love you. I guess I was a little jealous. I’ve never had anybody jump between a gun and me. It must be great to feel so loved.”
BJ: Who are you and what have you done with Margaret Houlihan?
Mac: She could be nice and sympathetic.
Hawkeye: Right.


Kate looked up at Margaret with watery eyes. “Right now I feel like the worst person in the world. You would think it felt great to have someone to love you that much but I feel scared. I don’t know if I can return that feeling.
Charles: What’s this?
Mac: It’s angst, assume the position.
BJ: You’re just clutching your stomach.
Mac: That’s the position.


I want to. I want to so bad. I spent so much time building up a wall; I’ve forgotten how to love.” Kate wept silently.
Hawkeye: I’m starting to see why this is the position.
Mac: Bag?


“Besides I thought you and Charles were serious.”
Charles: Please, say no. Please say no…

Margaret laughed. “I haven’t looked at it like that. I guess it’s growing.
Charles: Kill me.
Mac (on phone): Hi, Erik. Yeah, make sure the lockbox is secure. Thanks
Hawkeye: What’s that?


You need to sleep. I’ll come and get you if Hawkeye needs you. You know, we’ve had a lot more visitors since you came.”
BJ: Meaning we’ve been working hard and having two surgeons out is cramping our style?

Margaret left the tent to go meet up with her balding lover.
Charles: Oh Jonas.

Kate left the tent also. She had something to tell Hawkeye.
Mac: CONFESSION OF LOVE!
Hawkeye: No…


Post-OP

“Hawkeye, honey, wake up. I’ve got something to tell you.” Hawkeye woke up and looked at Kate with adoration.
*Mac hands out the bags*

“Hawkeye, I Lo...” Kate was cut off when a voice came over the intercom. “ATTENTION ALL PERSONELL! PACK YOUR BAGS KIDS THE WAR IS OVER!”
Charles: Really?
Hawkeye: Finally!
BJ: Yee-Haw!
Mac: The HELL? Has msMASH4077 seen “Good-bye, Farewell, and Amen”? The Korean War did not suddenly end! There was a ceasefire known for quite some time. And it was played over the radio as the surgeons did work—it is one of the most compelling scenes of the episode, right after Hawkeye being lifted up in a helicopter to see “Goodbye” spelled out in stone by BJ!
All: Bwah?


Hawkeye grabbed Kate and gave her a huge kiss before BJ came running over to hug both of them. “I’m going home! I’m going to see Peg and Erin! I’ve got to go call them!” He ran off as quickly as he had come.
BJ: I seem to only make small appearances in here to either push Hawkeye to Kate or remind everyone playing at home that I have a family.
Mac: Point BJ.


“You were saying something.” Hawkeye looked at Kate with that same calm expression. Kate took a deep breath and gave Hawkeye a huge hug.
Mac: Oh, here it comes. RAISE YOUR BAGS!

“Benjamin Franklin Pierce, I Love You!
Hawkeye: In capital letters even.
Mac: Oh, I’m having flashbacks to Sarah the Dolphin and I didn’t even MST that one.


With all my heart!” He still looked at her with that weird calm expression. He just smiled wide, “I know. I’ve always known.”
Hawkeye: Seriously? That’s all I say? No big proclamation of love myself? No grand showings? That’s it?
BJ: I always knew you were a romantic at heart.
Mac: He’s a showman at heart. Anyone, let’s get out of here and pre-game for the epilogue.
*All leave.*
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Fully Featured & Customizable Free Forums
Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · MSTs · Next Topic »
Add Reply