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The Official "Please Spork Me!" library; For those who are out of a job
Topic Started: Apr 21 2009, 04:59 PM (21,649 Views)
Arya Svit-Kona
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Resident Nutcase
:D Those have been lying around in the back of my mind for a while! I think all of them accept for the second one, were discovered while reading all of the LotR fics. The second one I found while looking up a different In the Blink of an Eye.

Hm, I's shalt have to spork some of those...
One part fool, three parts brave-Brom in the Eragon movie

It's better to ask forgiveness than permission-Brom and Eragon in the Eragon movie

A red sun rises, blood has been spilt this night-Legolas, The Two Towers

God is great
Life is good
Oh, and Legolas rules


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Refia
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Paying Tribute to the Past
Well, truth to be told, it was about time somebody brought in a fresh bag of shit. :P Not that there wasn't enough material to spork, oh no. But if people don't report badfics here, one might start thinking there aren't any badfics anymore, or that it's getting better at least. And we can't have that, now can we? :rolleyes:
[align=center]Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
[/align]
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Ariel
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Professional Nutcase
Egads! Where do people come up with this stuff? Do they just pull it out of their asses or something?
[align=center]Posted Image[/align]
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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
Probably.
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That Ill hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
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Refia
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Paying Tribute to the Past
I've added all of Arya's badfics to the list. :)
[align=center]Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
[/align]
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Amarth
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Rising Again
What about this one?

The Tale of Adelaide

And there are sequels, too.

I'm not sure what to think, myself. Writing style, spelling and grammar are allright, but she is still a Sue : everybody falls in love with her , she sings, brings modern things with her, turns Legolas into a stalker/rapist, Haldir attacks her to mask his longing, has super powers, and, ultimately, gets to both marry the hobbit of her dreams and live both in Ea and our world. And yet something kept me reading until the end.

Author has attempted to give her flaws, and a "price" to pay for her powers, but it's really only more angst-fuel and modern-independent-cussing-nonconforming-girl-is-wieved-as-a-fiery-spirit-rather-than-immature-brat thing.

What really gets to me is the hypocrisy:
Adelaide vs Mary Sue

And her profile states she is against them, too.
"I dance the dance of the fool
and pray you find me mad
for if you lay hands upon the root
you'll know me, without illusion
and find me guilty of the truth."
-Malkav's Words

"LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic

"Dear Harry,

If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW?

Sincerely, Ron"


Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein

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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
Just from that summary alone, she sounds like she's a Sue. Were you rolling your eyes so hard that you swore they were going to roll out of your head?

Quote:
 
And yet something kept me reading until the end.


I'm not sure if that's the car-crash theory or hope springs eternal theory. The car crash theory is that it's like a car crash--you know you should look away but you can't, no matter how bad the outcome. The hope springs eternal theory is that you think that maybe the author improves or it can't get any worse.
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That Ill hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
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Amarth
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Rising Again
Quote:
 
I'm not sure if that's the car-crash theory or hope springs eternal theory.


Hope springs eternal, probably. I forgot to mention about the tenth-walker part. If only she had left that out, and toned down the femme fatale factor...the storytelling is rather good, it's her character that's the problem. Other characters are OOC only when interacting with her, she doesn't bash anyone or ruin established relationships.

I also forgot to mention that she claims she has read the books and yet she uses the movie plot.
"I dance the dance of the fool
and pray you find me mad
for if you lay hands upon the root
you'll know me, without illusion
and find me guilty of the truth."
-Malkav's Words

"LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic

"Dear Harry,

If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW?

Sincerely, Ron"


Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein

My Tolkien fanfic recs

Anime and manga fanfic recs

Book and game fanfic recs

Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
That actually sounds a lot like the stories I spork. Those drive me absolutely batty because I know that if they were to knock their character(s) off the golden pedestal they've placed them on, the story might be good because they have other things going for them.

Quote:
 
I also forgot to mention that she claims she has read the books and yet she uses the movie plot.


Common to Suethors. I think they think that the reviewers will go easier on them if they say they've read the books when in fact it usually means we'll go harder on them because THEY SHOULD KNOW BETTER!
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That Ill hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
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athenarena
Member Avatar
Master of the Rings
Just to let you know I am taking Bara Koorome as my MST.
I am currently taking donations, for Everton FC. I am afraid that our chairman has forgotten to cough up. So if you could hand me a penny and I will dance for you :P.

I am the monkey and you hold the box, so be nice with that. I don't want to dance like that!


Creative Insight
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Amarth
Member Avatar
Rising Again
Quote:
 
Just to let you know I am taking Bara Koorome as my MST.


First a half-illiterate Catti-Brie wannabe, and now anime-based Sue? You sure know how to pick them.

I admire your courage. I chickened out and picked one whose greatest offense is shameless hypocrisy.
"I dance the dance of the fool
and pray you find me mad
for if you lay hands upon the root
you'll know me, without illusion
and find me guilty of the truth."
-Malkav's Words

"LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic

"Dear Harry,

If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW?

Sincerely, Ron"


Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein

My Tolkien fanfic recs

Anime and manga fanfic recs

Book and game fanfic recs

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athenarena
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Master of the Rings
The second one she becomes -I think- Elrond's daughter and I saw the sword Exacilbur in there.

I know how to pick them *laughs*.

Good luck Amarth :hug:. Amarth, start small, I beg you start small.
I am currently taking donations, for Everton FC. I am afraid that our chairman has forgotten to cough up. So if you could hand me a penny and I will dance for you :P.

I am the monkey and you hold the box, so be nice with that. I don't want to dance like that!


Creative Insight
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Maevainwen Adaniel
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Master of the Rings
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5567754/1/Stup..._Just_Our_Thing

Another GIME, three 15 year olds :headwall: I think you can guess the rest.
If I promise not to kill you can I have a hug?

My favorite thing about eating gummy bears is that they don't fight back when bite their heads off

Teddies don't hug back, but sometimes they're all you have...

Joker: You know, there are three kinds of people in this world. The optomistic that find the glass half full, and the pessimistic that see it as half empty. Then there's the paranoid, and they just think someone's drinking out of their glass.

Corrigan: Huh, then which one are you?

Joker: I'm the one who knocks the glass over.
~ The Joker Blogs.
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Refia
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Paying Tribute to the Past
Guys, we have a Sauron's Daughter!Sue on our hands here:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6830221/1/Identities

And here, canon rape and Sues of "Stuck in Middle-earth" proportions! Yes, it is that bad. Luckily, it's not as long:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6801641/4/Wait...rd_of_The_Rings

Somebody needs to flame her.
[align=center]Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
[/align]
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Amarth
Member Avatar
Rising Again
As for the Sauron's Daughter!Sue, here's the solution to ALL of them.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1518794/3/The_Game_of_the_Gods

Can't believe noone found this one:
Legolas is like marmite
Quote:
 
Introduction

Ariel and Caeli are 15 years old (almost sixteen yay!) and best friends (most of the time).

Ariel is pale-skinned with curly reddish brown hair with big olive eyes. She hates her nose and Caeli enjoys teasing her about it (this generally a crash diet as she sincerely hopes that this will cause her nose to lose weight).

Caeli has naturally tanned skin, dark brown, usually uncontrollable, wavy hair and dark brown eyes.

They love Lord of the Rings, New Zealand, having fun, chocolate and moisturiser.

They are on a camping trip alone in New Zealand, they have already got lost too many times to count and currently aren't quite sure what range of hills they're in but have been forced to set up camp in the middle of no where due to a storm. They are possibly miles away from food or civilisation of any kind. Basically they're in quite a bit of trouble, but do they realise it? Of course not!

Enough said.
Erm..."Ariel" is pure coincidence, right?

Fellowship of the Freaks by MBDTA
And here are the Sues I hate more than your average movie-fan Sue. These are the Sues that have read the books, and not only LotR. And yet, they are a bunch of sugar-high brats that go around raping canon in their "humourous" fanfic. And they wrote the whole trilogy. And the "Anti-Sue" fics, as well. Just check the profile.

Reading the last one, I was reminded of Dreamstrifer's "The Fresca Files" series, but it appears she is rewriting them. I'll have to wait and see how much it got "improved".
"I dance the dance of the fool
and pray you find me mad
for if you lay hands upon the root
you'll know me, without illusion
and find me guilty of the truth."
-Malkav's Words

"LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic

"Dear Harry,

If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW?

Sincerely, Ron"


Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein

My Tolkien fanfic recs

Anime and manga fanfic recs

Book and game fanfic recs

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