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| The Official "Please Spork Me!" library; For those who are out of a job | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 21 2009, 04:59 PM (21,648 Views) | |
| Refia | Jan 21 2012, 11:04 PM Post #2626 |
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Paying Tribute to the Past
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You know it's bad when you don't even have to make an effort to find badfics anymore. Just looking at the first page of LOTR, second story, bam, badfic. Sixth story, whee, badfic once more. And so on, too many to list, actually. Here's one that has all the cliches, the author must have had a check list next to her. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7751822/1/Nienna_Ancalime I wonder, what would the comparison badfic/goodfic be, on a scale of 100? 90/10? |
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[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?” [/align] | |
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| Amarth | Jan 22 2012, 03:59 AM Post #2627 |
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Rising Again
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Yes, around that. She gets some points off for mostly decent spelling and grammar and paragraph division. However, it appears that someone gave a good but critical review in the meantime and she decided to heed it and rewrite the story. We'll have to wait and check it out. I suspect she might be a new writer who saw all those Mary Sue Legomance stories and thought they are OK. |
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"I dance the dance of the fool and pray you find me mad for if you lay hands upon the root you'll know me, without illusion and find me guilty of the truth."-Malkav's Words "LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic "Dear Harry, If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW? Sincerely, Ron" “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein My Tolkien fanfic recs Anime and manga fanfic recs Book and game fanfic recs ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
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| Refia | Jan 22 2012, 01:04 PM Post #2628 |
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Paying Tribute to the Past
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Well, let's cross our fingers and hope for the best. Enough other fics to choose from. Alas. |
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[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?” [/align] | |
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| Amarth | Feb 21 2012, 02:01 PM Post #2629 |
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Rising Again
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And I bring you...another over-rated Legomance! BloodRed Rose for Legolas If the title is not enough to send you headdesking, how about over 30 chapters with over 250000 words (and still ongoing!), plus over 1000 mostly positive reviews? No? Then how about the method of finding? I took a peek into Flame Rising's community of dishonourable mentions (Yeah, I'm a masochist. Why else would I be on this site?) and guess what was on the top? So...pseudo-elvish names, assasins, wangst, darkness and edginess, rape... |
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"I dance the dance of the fool and pray you find me mad for if you lay hands upon the root you'll know me, without illusion and find me guilty of the truth."-Malkav's Words "LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic "Dear Harry, If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW? Sincerely, Ron" “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein My Tolkien fanfic recs Anime and manga fanfic recs Book and game fanfic recs ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
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| Amarth | Feb 24 2012, 12:20 PM Post #2630 |
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Rising Again
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So I was checking out "Hobbit" archive, just to compare pre-movie and post-movie stories...it was mostly all right - despite my fears, there was no slash so far. Only one possible troll. And then there was one...(pun intended) Though coming back today, it appears that trailer has inspired one Thorin-luster. With Elf OC. But that's not what is bad here... You see, since there was no smut in the category, a smartass decided that one is necessary, with no more, no less than... Gollum/Ring Now, I'm sure there was something like this in LotR (after Bill/Treebeard it wouldn't even be shocking), but it is the first in "Hobbit" and furthermore made just because. |
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"I dance the dance of the fool and pray you find me mad for if you lay hands upon the root you'll know me, without illusion and find me guilty of the truth."-Malkav's Words "LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic "Dear Harry, If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW? Sincerely, Ron" “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein My Tolkien fanfic recs Anime and manga fanfic recs Book and game fanfic recs ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
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| Caranthol | Apr 8 2012, 09:32 AM Post #2631 |
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At Journey's End
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I just ran across this turkey of a fic and thought it would fit here: OMFG how did we get in Middle Earth. Basically, it's a GiME, only there are two Mary Sues plus the gay brother of one of them. Brittany, the main Sue, is a foul-mouthed, self-centered asshole whereas her sidekick Casey is kind of bland. Surprisingly Andrew, the gay brother, is almost likable. The fic also features Boromir as an evil rapist. For a change he doesn't go after one of the Sues, though, but rapes and murders Andrew. Other "highlights" (and this just from what I skimmed): -Brittany kills Boromir with her bare hands -Gandalf gives unicorns to the Sues as a present -explicit sex, even though the fic is rated T -Sam apparently has a strange obsession with potatoes -Haldir knocks Casey up (and no, apparently they are not married) The author actually had one good idea, but then decided to waste it. That is, Boromir somehow gets wind of what will happen at Amon Hen. So, he decides not to go after Frodo as he was supposed to. That's a pretty cool idea, and opens a lot of interesting possibilities. But not in this fic. Boromir does this only so that he can ambush Andrew alone in the woods. I'd like to see this included in the list. I would spork it myself, but I'm not done with my current MST and have a lot of tenth walkers in my repertoire already. |
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"Ha! Wonnige Glut! Leuchtender Glanz! Strahlend nun offen steht mir die Straße. Im Feuer mich baden!" - Siegfried, Act Three, Scene Two. | |
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| Amarth | Apr 8 2012, 11:25 AM Post #2632 |
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Rising Again
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*reads the link* And ex-boyfriend is called "Orlando". What a coincidence. Pity I already have planned schedule for next few MSTs. |
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"I dance the dance of the fool and pray you find me mad for if you lay hands upon the root you'll know me, without illusion and find me guilty of the truth."-Malkav's Words "LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic "Dear Harry, If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW? Sincerely, Ron" “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein My Tolkien fanfic recs Anime and manga fanfic recs Book and game fanfic recs ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
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| jules14 | Apr 8 2012, 02:16 PM Post #2633 |
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(Wo)man on a Mission
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I clicked the link. It's the only story on the author's profile, it's full of outrageous ideas, and it contains the following lines:
Not to mention her avatar is the cave troll from the movie. At the risk of spoiling people's fun, I'm betting this fic is a troll. |
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| Amarth | Apr 8 2012, 02:22 PM Post #2634 |
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Rising Again
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Meh, I guess you might be right. Really can't bother with it. |
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"I dance the dance of the fool and pray you find me mad for if you lay hands upon the root you'll know me, without illusion and find me guilty of the truth."-Malkav's Words "LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic "Dear Harry, If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW? Sincerely, Ron" “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein My Tolkien fanfic recs Anime and manga fanfic recs Book and game fanfic recs ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
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| jules14 | Apr 8 2012, 05:26 PM Post #2635 |
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(Wo)man on a Mission
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While we're on the subject of troll fics, I came across this classic by following a link from TVtropes. This has to be one of the most insane pieces of fiction I've ever read; the WTFery is over the top. |
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| Amarth | Apr 8 2012, 05:54 PM Post #2636 |
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Rising Again
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Looks interesting...will read after I finish my ASOIAF badfic Easter Special...thanks for the link. ETA: Obvious troll is obvious. |
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"I dance the dance of the fool and pray you find me mad for if you lay hands upon the root you'll know me, without illusion and find me guilty of the truth."-Malkav's Words "LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic "Dear Harry, If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW? Sincerely, Ron" “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein My Tolkien fanfic recs Anime and manga fanfic recs Book and game fanfic recs ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
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| Refia | Apr 8 2012, 07:08 PM Post #2637 |
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Paying Tribute to the Past
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I still remember a troll fic where the Sue slept with Legolas, then woke up next morning only to discover she had become a man. And she said it was what she had always wanted! And Legolas was totally cool with it, too. |
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[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?” [/align] | |
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| Amarth | Apr 8 2012, 07:46 PM Post #2638 |
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Rising Again
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Of course he was totally cool with it! That means that she can't get pregnant, pressure him into relationship and marriage, and he won't have to have sex with her ever again! |
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"I dance the dance of the fool and pray you find me mad for if you lay hands upon the root you'll know me, without illusion and find me guilty of the truth."-Malkav's Words "LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic "Dear Harry, If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW? Sincerely, Ron" “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein My Tolkien fanfic recs Anime and manga fanfic recs Book and game fanfic recs ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
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| jules14 | Apr 9 2012, 02:14 AM Post #2639 |
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(Wo)man on a Mission
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Oh, I know. I just thought you might like to read a troll that made "My Immortal" look like a dazzling tribute to canon. |
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| Amarth | Apr 9 2012, 02:49 AM Post #2640 |
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Rising Again
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Er, no. Sorry, but "My Immortal" is still worse for me.
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"I dance the dance of the fool and pray you find me mad for if you lay hands upon the root you'll know me, without illusion and find me guilty of the truth."-Malkav's Words "LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic "Dear Harry, If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW? Sincerely, Ron" “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein My Tolkien fanfic recs Anime and manga fanfic recs Book and game fanfic recs ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
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1:42 AM Jul 11