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Eyes of a Wolf : Reviews
Topic Started: Jan 16 2010, 10:27 PM (742 Views)
Amarth
Member Avatar
Rising Again
Well, I'm glad to see you are back in action for good.

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Okay, Ive recently gotten tired of writing anime stories, so Ive decided to try out some book fanfiction.

*shudder* Okay, I know writers who can write good anime and book fanfiction, but those are very, very rare.

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This is ultimately my first LOTR fanfic,

Oh. Are you SURE it's book fanfiction? Not MOVIE fanfiction?

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She has no magical or elemental powers

O RLY?

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Shes great in all of her classes except math.

WHY? IS? IT? ALWAYS? MATH? :headwall:

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Barbossa: Yes, thats very normal. Is she planning on living in Japan?

Well, the author is anime fangirl, and so is probable her self-insert.

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Ariel: Why am I suddenly thinking of Harry potter turns to the Lord?

*shudder*

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Ash: Couldnt possibly be due to the crusades and the Salem Witch trials could it?

And let's not forget the always unexpected...Spanish Inquisition!

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Drizzt: Youre in the Demonweb Pits, and not the safe part either.

:blink: There is a safe part of Demonweb pits?

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Even the nerds hate school.

:nod: Yes.

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Dont get me wrong, I didnt say anything about not liking school, but sometimes I cant help but wonder why some people even waist their time going.

Because they have to learn to read and write and some other things necessary for having a job better than janitor, cleaner or trash collector?

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Ariel: Actually I would say we nerds enjoy life more. We dont have to worry about getting pregnant at inopportune times.

Or if we look perfect in every moment, have attention of all popular boys/girls, maintaining popularity...

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History, English, and Japanese are my best ones though.

:rolleyes: Of course. Languages and History.

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People also think that Christian equals nice. Im not as nice as anyone would think if you hadnt gathered that already.

Well, people didn't say that you are ideal Christian.

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And finally, the nerds who really dont enjoy life at all.

Well, that depends on one's values. I enjoy reading a book or playing a game more than hanging out at the club.

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No nerd has ever wanted to be my friend

Well, that should send warning signs. Nerds are usually more tolerant than other "social groups".

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I am five feet one inch

Shorty! :evil:

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My skin, though, was the envy of all girls in my school, since it was smooth and flawless.

Ariel: And that is where our similarities end. My skin is not flawless and hasnt been since I was eleven.

Which Caucasian has flawless skin in their teens?

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I never had a boyfriend and no guy ever really liked me a lot.

Okay, lack of boyfriend does not necessarily depend on one's looks. Of course, if you set your standards too high or just act reclusive, you aren't going to find a date ever.

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Ash: I doubt it. Ive been stabbed in the chest. I think all I did was slide to the floor and die.

Well, maybe the knife was stopped by the massive silicone implant.

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Ariel: Has this character not read LotR?

No. Neither did the author, probably.
Though I suppose she should get points for not going "Ssshhire! Bagginsss!"

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I was glad that I had something to worry more about at the moment because the person standing in front of me was Aragorn from Lord of the Rings.

How would she know THAT? This is a book fanfic, right? She has no idea what he looks like.

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I gave him an annoyed look and grumbled incoherent expletives in Japanese under my breath.

Actually, Japanese doesn't have that many expletives, and nowhere on the level of most of the Indo-European languages.

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I decided to humor him, I said, baka konichibi

Ok, "baka" is "stupid". "Chibi" might mean "little", but "koni"...maybe she meant "kon' chikusho" ("Damn You"/SOB)?

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Whats the elvish word for water?

Aragorn: Sindarin or Quenya?
Sue: No, E-L-V-I-S-H. You know, the language those hawt studs with pointy ears speak.

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He told me and I spoke it forming a ball of water in the palm of my hand.

Wait, wait. What happened to "no magical or elemental powers"? You know, the statement from the beginning of this very chapter?

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I gently worked the ball of water into the Halfling, but even with my careful efforts, Frodo began to scream in agony.

Okay, I know you don't care about anime, but for reference, this is poison extraction method ripped off from Naruto.

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Ariel: Every morning before breakfast I outstare my fish.

Poor fish.

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Ariel: What does Terry Pratchett have to do with this? And dont you dare screw up Discworld. If you do, I will skin you alive and eat you.

Can I burninate the remains? :evil:

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It helped that I watched the movies, or else that I wouldnt know what was going on.

Why, then, did you say this is book fanfiction?

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and what looked to be green eyes.

Not likely.

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Well, whoever wrote that should get a gold metal for accuracy because they were right.

There is no such thing as non-metal gold.
Well, at least she has proven she is definitely not a nerd. Geek, on the other hand...

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Ariel: I think it might be a Monty Python quote, but Im not sure.

Oh yes she went there. :burnmad:

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Ariel: What a coincidence. My family has six people in it. This is getting uncannier all the time.

Hmm...evil split personality?

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We had gone to see Stone Hedge, that great supposed sundial the Anglo- Saxons used

It's StoneHENGE. Aren't you History whiz?
I shudder to think what the level of her High School is if someone like this is good at English and History.

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Heck even Glorfindel made me blush sometimes and that was on rare occasions when he would catch me off guard.

Actually, Glorfindel would probably be more captivating than most of the Elves there, Legolas included. Only Elrond and Arwen might be competition.

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Hes also joined the PPC.

And EiB!

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Its got good quality, but a double edged sword has to be constantly sharpened and repaired.

*sigh* And I suppose this means her Japanese swords she'll probably be getting somewhere in the future are way superior.
Well, they would be superior to standard RL medieval swords, but to finest Dwarwen craftmanship...hmm...maybe wazamono.

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Drizzt: I find that highly unlikely. Neither of my scimitars are of human make, and I have seen what humans call swords.

Yes, but they are magical. And wasn't Khazid'hea human-made?

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Hes the elf king of Jerks and I should sue!

He's got diplomatic immunity, so you can't sue.

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Gimli then stepped in with his ax and we had a huge two verses one spare down.

Is it just me or is she getting more and more illiterate as the story goes on?

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Ash: Who the hell is Kendo?

Generic Japanese name for swordsmanship. Also, for the sport where swords are replaced with bamboo replicas, and armor-wearing combatants duel one-on-one.
If she wanted to compare, she should have mentioned a particular school.

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I hadnt realized that he had been playing me on defense because of how well he could hide it and how fast he could move.

She didn't realise Aragorn let her win either.

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Also, dont worry about not knowing English very well,

Because I don't either, and neither do my fans, so no one will notice!

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I found some old elfin chainmail

+2, -1 against blunt due to the aging.

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Elladen was thinking hard about something by the way his eyebrows slanted and his green eyed gaze turned hard.

Impossible. His grey-eyed gaze, on the other hand...wait. It's not Elladan, it's Elladen. Never mind.

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That might do more good then harm if what father said is to be true. Alright, I will let her go to Lothlorien, he said after a long pause to consider the request.

I really hope that doesn't mean she is related the Galadriel. Though that might explain smithing.

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or because Itachi's Redemption happens to be about Itachi. Go figure.

Poor Itachi. His family despised him, he had to pose as a criminal for the greater good, he died for his brat of a little brother, and said brat totally ignored all his sacrifices and went against his wishes. And on the top of everything he is a favourite target of Sues, slashers AND incest-writers.

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Oh and before I forget, I've read some stories from LOTR that have marry sues in them. They're good reads, but people seem to complain about the main character being too perfect.

*gape*
Well...that explains everything. Points for not being in denial, at least.

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Rocks, rocks, rocks,

Mushroom! Mushroom!

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I'm so frickin' bored dear Jesus savior of my life I'm begging you to cease your practical jokes on my life.

Take not Lord's name in vain, "Christian".

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Drizzt: Try a few thousand, dear. Which is pretty old considering the average lifespan for a Drow is about seven hundred.

Because they don't exactly die of old age, do they?
And sorry for being a rabid purist, but Middle Earth Elves are very different from Forgotten Realms Elves. Comparing them is best avoided.

Good job!
"I dance the dance of the fool
and pray you find me mad
for if you lay hands upon the root
you'll know me, without illusion
and find me guilty of the truth."
-Malkav's Words

"LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic

"Dear Harry,

If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW?

Sincerely, Ron"


Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein

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Ariel
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I would recommend that you never read anything by Sharnorasian Empire then. She completely butchwrs the Forgotten Realms.

Thanks for reviewing and I don't mind the rabid purism. I just wish I could gind some decent crossovers between the two.
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Amarth
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I just wish I could gind some decent crossovers between the two.

Me too. Sadly, what I found so far is very bad slash, two Sue parodies, and one serious fic, on permanent hiatus halfway through setting up the meeting between Fellowship and Companions of Mithral Hall.

And you just had to bring up Sharnorasian Empire, didn't you? First, her map is very old. There is no Yugoslavia since 2003. I also resent being destroyed by drow.

Also, she seems to use D&D universe, which Forgotten Realms is only a part of, so the concept of Earth under Drow and Draconic influence isn't that far off, since it doesn't have a set world. It wouldn't be bad if she didn't bring LotR into it, and toned down technical terms.

She seems quite militant for a girl.
"I dance the dance of the fool
and pray you find me mad
for if you lay hands upon the root
you'll know me, without illusion
and find me guilty of the truth."
-Malkav's Words

"LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic

"Dear Harry,

If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW?

Sincerely, Ron"


Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein

My Tolkien fanfic recs

Anime and manga fanfic recs

Book and game fanfic recs

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Ariel
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I haven't read most of her fics. I don't want to read most of them. I'd really rather not read the one I have been. What annoys me is the fact that the dragons have apparently built a space empire and lived nezt to Jupitor, and she makes the Deow seem pathetic in comparison. What good is an antagonist if everyone knows they are no match for them? There's no conflict it's just an excuse to write about her kickass Sue.
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Amarth
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I skimmed through some of her stuff. Her writing style is quite...annoying. At first, I wondered if she might be troll.

I suspect I have you to thank for lack of typos and grammar mistakes. Otherwise it would probably be even more horrible.

But sailor wolf4 is another kind of horrible. Did you know she's rewriting this fic?
"I dance the dance of the fool
and pray you find me mad
for if you lay hands upon the root
you'll know me, without illusion
and find me guilty of the truth."
-Malkav's Words

"LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic

"Dear Harry,

If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW?

Sincerely, Ron"


Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein

My Tolkien fanfic recs

Anime and manga fanfic recs

Book and game fanfic recs

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Ariel
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Her spelling is not bad, but her grammar leaves much to be desired. She mostly writes in present tense but often switches between that and past tense. She also occasionally slips into first person leading me to think it's a self-insert.

Oh god no. Why is she doing that?
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Amarth
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Oh god no. Why is she doing that?


Well, I guess she got too many negative reviews. She toned down some things, though the contents remain the same.

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Author's Note: This is the re-write of Eyes of a Wolf and if you go look at the previous story, you will find that the first chapter has not only been edited, but almost completely changed. Please bear in mind all of you avid fans that go crazy over the minute detail that goes wrong in each LOTR story that a Fanfic author writes that no person is perfect. I do not have a beta reader (but would like one for not just LOTR) and I am not going to religiously follow the books.

Things that I will address in my Author's Notes later on:

The aspect of the Legomance that will take place... fifteen chapters from now

The increasing amount of word count in my chapters.

Some Mary-Sue aspects that will undoubtedly occur concerning my character (let's face it, no one's perfect).

The religion of the elves and Tolkien's Christian allegory in the Silmarillion that people just seem to miss for some odd reason.



Dammit, there is NO Christian analogy, as anyone who actually read the Silmarillion should know. And I refuse to think she read it, because she wouldn't write things like this then.
Just like there is no WWII analogy in LotR. Tolkien was a devout Catholic, but he never brought it into his works about ME. He wrote it because he felt there are not enough authentic Anglo-Saxon myths.
Nor is there much of religion. Valar exist, they help in dire situations (but mostly Elves), but they are not exactly deities per se. More like very powerful guardian spirits or something.
"I dance the dance of the fool
and pray you find me mad
for if you lay hands upon the root
you'll know me, without illusion
and find me guilty of the truth."
-Malkav's Words

"LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic

"Dear Harry,

If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW?

Sincerely, Ron"


Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein

My Tolkien fanfic recs

Anime and manga fanfic recs

Book and game fanfic recs

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Ariel
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Professional Nutcase
I think people try to read into things too much to be honest. Apparently writing for the sake of writing is not done.
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Amarth
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It appears so. Recently, while researching Holmes-related stuff, I symbled upon the guy who wrote a book-length thesis on why original (Doyle's) Holmes and Watson must have been secret gay lovers, in which he picks for small phrases that MIGHT indicate it in every single story. For no profit at all. You know, one would think that if the author wanted to write it, he would have given more hints. Doyle was interested in writing detective stories, and didn't bother with character development much.

If she wants to contemplate religious messages, she should have used Lewis.

But the worst problem with Sailor Wolf4 is that she doesn't care about her character being a Mary Sue. She uses the same OC for every story. You'll notice I mentioned her bringing elements from fandom she previously wrote in the review above. Later, her character in anime fanfic becomes an Elven princess who had to grow up as a ninja. Seriously.

At least she isn't writing Pratchett fanfiction...yet. She is welcome to Inheritance Cycle, though.
"I dance the dance of the fool
and pray you find me mad
for if you lay hands upon the root
you'll know me, without illusion
and find me guilty of the truth."
-Malkav's Words

"LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic

"Dear Harry,

If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW?

Sincerely, Ron"


Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein

My Tolkien fanfic recs

Anime and manga fanfic recs

Book and game fanfic recs

Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
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Ariel
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Professional Nutcase
I've read nearly every Sherlock Holmes writting by Sir Arthur and I certainly didn't pick anything up.

Damn, she needs a little originality doesn't she.
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