| Welcome to Refia. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| Silent Times: the Reviews; Let your anger out here. | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 31 2010, 05:12 AM (1,606 Views) | |
| jules14 | Jan 31 2010, 05:12 AM Post #1 |
![]()
(Wo)man on a Mission
|
Story found here. |
| |
![]() |
|
| Ariel | Jan 31 2010, 06:10 AM Post #2 |
![]()
Professional Nutcase
|
Could you repeat that in English. I failed Sue Gibberish.
They were worried that he was going to Sue them for child abuse.
Those are his brains. They're trying to leak out his ears.
WARNING: Consumption of this product may cause diet pepsi to grow in head instead of a brain, stunted birth, and 'special' mentality. Do not drink of pregnant, nursing, or you may become pregnant. This does include males.
There's an airport in the middle of Mirkwood. Children and stunted elves ride free.
Actually they were close because they were joined at the hip. Literally.
Elleth! Elleth dammit, get it right!
What, is he pregnant?
More than likely he's hungry, needs his diaper changed, or needs burping.
Duh. If male elves can have kids it seems only fair that they can breast feed. My brain has died and gone to heaven because of this. Egads that was horrible. Good sporking though. . |
[align=center] [/align]
| |
![]() |
|
| Ara's Greatest Squawk | Jan 31 2010, 06:36 AM Post #3 |
|
Lost In The Future
|
I honestly have to wonder why Suethors/badfic writers in general don't use Elvish names! Honestly - Seara, Glycil? I bet there are others named Glomerulus, Osmosis and Fructose. If it weren't for sheer ridiculousness, I think the writer's style itself wouldn't be too bad. As it is, however. . .blah.
And the rugs made from dead squirrels. . .and the cat eyeballs in jars. . .
Hmm. . .I'm thinking maybe because our poor canon characters only follow Sues from being under their evil spells (cast with pink, glittery fairy wands).
Ara (confused): It has butts on its head? Feanor: I have come to realise during my time of sporking that anything is possible with Sues.
Wow, I'm surprised the poor kid survived! Also, I'm wondering whether Nataget is some distant cousin of a Plantagenet. Their names are disturbingly similar. Maybe Richard the Third was an Elf.
Haha! What about dead squirrel with corn relish? I'm sure that sort of meal would have therapeutic benefits for wangsting characters!
I just got this really weird image of the Grouch from Sesame Street. Elrond might have been the true inventor of the Muppets - when he wasn't spending his time running after Little-Run-Away-Angsty!Estel, that is.
*Joins in the screaming* I'm starting to think Angey runs a Suethor's Club somewhere on the side, when she isn't terrorising the LotR and PotO fandoms! (That 'whom' business drove me crazy!) Wow, this really did need sporkage. Nice work!
|
![]() ![]() ![]()
| |
![]() |
|
| MackenzieW | Jan 31 2010, 06:58 AM Post #4 |
![]()
Resident Time Lady
|
Sounds like a city in Massachusetts. Somewhere along the coast. : Usually prescribed for blood pressure
Four pounds? That might mean that Legolas was more likely born either shortly after his mother entered her third trimester or just before leaving her second.
Sounds more like Elrond than Thranduil.
Legolas' mother is Snow White!
I was close in my estimates...if Kaiyoz was familiar with elven pregnancies. And at that, Legolas would've had a very low survival rate. His heart and lungs would probably still be undeveloped and he's in a medieval world that wouldn't have the proper equipment to care for him.
Probably the book on parenting Rora bought Erik.
There's never a bad time for Monty Python.
Quatre: If not, we'll take it!
*Sighs* I'll go get the flow chart.
Wait...I think I read this on Deleterius... Anyway, good job, Jules! I hope this was on fanfiction.net because I want to go read the reviews now! |
|
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot "Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical) "Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney "I wake in the loneliness of sunrise When the deep purple heaven turns blue And start to pray As I pray each day That I’ll hear some word from you I lie in the loneliness of evening Looking out on a silver-flaked sea And ask the moon Oh how soon, how soon Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella "Thank you, Lord You have brought us Safe to shore Be our strength and protection ever more. A Thiarna dean trocaire A Chriost dean trocaire A Thiarna dean trocaire A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder I'm writing a novel! A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies! My Little Corner I'm on Book Country! | |
![]() |
|
| Xaja Silversheen | Jan 31 2010, 07:59 AM Post #5 |
|
King of Nothing
|
Xaja's Spork Team: *twitch* Xaja: *wipes blood from eyes off keyboard* Oh Valar, that was horrible! I hope to heck she discontinues it! Good on ya for sporking it! (And surviving, mostly sane!) That was quite possibly as bad as Allena. *headdesk* Good job sporking this! It desperately needed it! That was the only way I could read it at all! |
| The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? ~Hebrews 13:6 | |
![]() |
|
| jules14 | Jan 31 2010, 04:44 PM Post #6 |
![]()
(Wo)man on a Mission
|
Thank you all for your reviews. I'm a bit late reading them, sorry. Ariel:
I assume you're just being sarcastic, but I'll translate into English anyway, just so you can see the extent of Kaiyoz's creepiness: "Like, Leggy's so beautiful, with his porcelain ivory skin and piercing eyes! I have to masturbate right now!"
Ha, ha, nice pun, Ariel!
See, this is the real reason why Gandalf didn't want Bilbo and the Dwarves to drink the water in Mirkwood. You never know when some badfic!rapist will make a male canon character pregnant, and Gandalf was taking no chances.
Frighteningly enough, this is basically the case in Mary A and Mal's "Mirkwood Adventures" saga, only the "planes" are Gwaihir and the other eagles, and their job is to transport sex-crazed Elf fanwomen from the real world to Middle-earth. No joke.
Amen to that!
Thank you. It gets worse, believe it or not. Ara:
Most likely. Don't forget the omnipresent Elf-Sues named Raina and Kiara, not to mention their brave brothers Hypothermic, Glycogen, and Tryptophan.
Ridiculousness, plus the author's lack of quotation marks, plus her confusion over possessives and plurals, plus her misspelled words, plus her sentence fragments!
Me too!
Ha, ha, nice one! Maybe he was Feanor come back to earth. Good theory, especially since western Middle-earth is ancient England. You could actually write a fanfic about this.
I'm sure it would too. Unfortunately, Thranduil probably didn't want to eat any of his wife's dead squirrels, for fear it would be too stressful, so for now he's sticking to State Fair food. Tomorrow he's going to try deep-fried Twinkies.
*grins* That really gives me a funny picture of movie!Elrond holding a Kermit the Frog puppet on his arm, talking in Kermit's voice, waggling his eyebrow as he talks.
I think so too. Angey's attitude about royalty caring for babies (seriously, a duke burping his baby and changing diapers?! Don't make me laugh.) and Kaiyoz's attitude are eerily similar, as well as the crazy "whom" use. And let's not forget Legolas's mother's uncanny ability with animals; it's quite similar to that of Angey's Sues! Thanks for the reviews! Since this post is getting a little long, I'll respond to Mac's and Xaja's reviews in the next one. |
| |
![]() |
|
| jules14 | Jan 31 2010, 05:22 PM Post #7 |
![]()
(Wo)man on a Mission
|
Okay, continuing with the responses here. Mac:
It actually does; I forgot about Nantucket.
Holy crap, I didn't realize it was THAT bad! Still, there's extra evidence for the fact that Legolas shouldn't have even been alive.
Either that or she's a Phantom's Ange Sue--speshul dog sidekicks and a random bird sidekick, after all.
Ah, yes, the non-existant one, which has child-care rules including, "Your child is not as important as your crush," "Leave your children in the care of dogs," and "Child abuse is nothing serious".
Help yourself, Quatre! It's still available!
Yeah, somebody sporked it a year or two ago. It was a very funny sporking; I was so appalled by the fic that I became the first person to flame it, believe it or not.
Go right ahead, but I warn you: only about four or five reviewers, including myself, give her negative reviews. The other reviews all say stuff like, "omg!1! deaf lil leggy is so cute!!11!" and "omg!1! ur deaf 2? ur a genius!!111!" Xaja:
Jules: *wipes vomit off keyboard*
She finished it back in 2004, actually, and wrote a couple of sequels to it. I toyed with the idea of sporking one of the sequels, but I don't know if I can take any more of this.
Thanks. I'm still sane now, but by the end I probably won't be. I've read the sporking of this crap on deleterius, and the last chapter makes the first look like a dazzling display of canon knowledge. Fortunately, I'm stocking up on booze today.
On the level of grammar and lack of canon knowledge, I'd say so. Thanks again to everyone for reviewing. |
| |
![]() |
|
| MackenzieW | Mar 28 2010, 09:05 PM Post #8 |
![]()
Resident Time Lady
|
Ahh, Chapter Two.
True, but judging by what you wrote, it sounded like Legolas was born more than a month early.
Well, C-sections were known to Shakespeare. That's what he meant in Macbeth when the second vision said that "no man of woman born" could harm Macbeth. MacDuff was born via C-section, so not only was he not delivered by a woman, he was also motherless as the women had no chance of surviving a C-section back then.
She can't even spell crappy right?
That's bull. Some of our greatest writers only wrote one book--Harper Lee, Salinger, etc. Does Kaiyoz not consider them "experienced" writers? Also, I'm sure some of our greatest books have been considered critical failures but have endured. And especially that in fanfiction.net. Most reviews that are "good" are just: "i lik dis storie! Continu pls!!!! OMG!!!!" How are they more qualified as "experienced" if they never improve because no one tells them otherwise?
Seriously, what has Kaiyoz got against quotation marks?
Yes, because the healers of Middle-earth knew how the brain worked.
Why doesn't anyone write about them? What were they doing? What crazy adventures did they get caught up in?
Ack! Memories! *Downs bleeprin* Good MST, Jules. Horrible story. By the way, how old is Legolas again?
|
|
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot "Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical) "Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney "I wake in the loneliness of sunrise When the deep purple heaven turns blue And start to pray As I pray each day That I’ll hear some word from you I lie in the loneliness of evening Looking out on a silver-flaked sea And ask the moon Oh how soon, how soon Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella "Thank you, Lord You have brought us Safe to shore Be our strength and protection ever more. A Thiarna dean trocaire A Chriost dean trocaire A Thiarna dean trocaire A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder I'm writing a novel! A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies! My Little Corner I'm on Book Country! | |
![]() |
|
| Maevainwen Adaniel | Mar 28 2010, 10:02 PM Post #9 |
|
Master of the Rings
|
He was born four MONTHS early? What. The. Frick?!?
:lol: I lol'd
Um. . . Ok. . .
*muses* I like moles.
*falls off couch laughing* Oh gods, that fic was horrible. Awesome MST though. I give you the key to my Hard Liquor collection Mae |
|
If I promise not to kill you can I have a hug? My favorite thing about eating gummy bears is that they don't fight back when bite their heads off Teddies don't hug back, but sometimes they're all you have... Joker: You know, there are three kinds of people in this world. The optomistic that find the glass half full, and the pessimistic that see it as half empty. Then there's the paranoid, and they just think someone's drinking out of their glass. Corrigan: Huh, then which one are you? Joker: I'm the one who knocks the glass over. ~ The Joker Blogs. | |
![]() |
|
| jules14 | Mar 28 2010, 10:22 PM Post #10 |
![]()
(Wo)man on a Mission
|
He WAS born more than a month early, because the gestation period for Elves lasts a year. It's just that Kaiyoz doesn't know that.
Oh, I forgot all about Macbeth. Thank you; I'll go back and fix that up.
Well, to her, they're probably just "zomg!11 teh BORING" authors she had to read for English class. It's possible she hasn't even heard of them.
Because they're not teh smex00rs!!!111! like Leggy and Haldir! Seriously, it's most likely because they weren't in the movies. To be fair, they weren't in the books either; I can't even remember what "History of Middle-earth" book they were introduced in. But it would be a great idea to write a fanfic about them. I might write one myself sometime.
Here, have some rum too *hands Mac a bottle*
Ah, the age-old question. :rolleyes: I'm going for about 800; I can't even remember who suggested it. I know Peter Jackson made up an age for him, 2000-something, but I don't remember it.
Thank you very much, Mae; I'll need it. On another subject, thanks for flaming "The Joker's Destini". I know the Suethor hasn't updated it in forever, but it still needs to be flamed and bashed mercilessly. |
| |
![]() |
|
| Maevainwen Adaniel | Mar 28 2010, 10:28 PM Post #11 |
|
Master of the Rings
|
Any time Jules :lol: I enjoyed flaming 'The Joker's Destini' so much. It was just sickening to read. . . I loved the MST though
|
|
If I promise not to kill you can I have a hug? My favorite thing about eating gummy bears is that they don't fight back when bite their heads off Teddies don't hug back, but sometimes they're all you have... Joker: You know, there are three kinds of people in this world. The optomistic that find the glass half full, and the pessimistic that see it as half empty. Then there's the paranoid, and they just think someone's drinking out of their glass. Corrigan: Huh, then which one are you? Joker: I'm the one who knocks the glass over. ~ The Joker Blogs. | |
![]() |
|
| Ariel | Mar 29 2010, 02:26 AM Post #12 |
![]()
Professional Nutcase
|
Jareth...That's disgusting and Elrond is going to kill you. You know this, right? |
[align=center] [/align]
| |
![]() |
|
| MackenzieW | Mar 29 2010, 02:38 AM Post #13 |
![]()
Resident Time Lady
|
Oh, trust me, this Goblin King is nothing like Jareth. You do him a disservice with the comparison. Trust me. |
|
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot "Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical) "Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney "I wake in the loneliness of sunrise When the deep purple heaven turns blue And start to pray As I pray each day That I’ll hear some word from you I lie in the loneliness of evening Looking out on a silver-flaked sea And ask the moon Oh how soon, how soon Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella "Thank you, Lord You have brought us Safe to shore Be our strength and protection ever more. A Thiarna dean trocaire A Chriost dean trocaire A Thiarna dean trocaire A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder I'm writing a novel! A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies! My Little Corner I'm on Book Country! | |
![]() |
|
| Ariel | Mar 29 2010, 02:42 AM Post #14 |
![]()
Professional Nutcase
|
Yes, but he's just mentioned as the goblin king. Of course, having personally seen Jareth without clothes on, I can honestly say that the description is wrong. |
[align=center] [/align]
| |
![]() |
|
| Xaja Silversheen | Mar 29 2010, 02:49 AM Post #15 |
|
King of Nothing
|
*reads and headdesks* Owww... I'm not sure what hurts worse right now, my eyes or my forehead. *groans* Great spork, lousy story! I noticed that too about the Goblin King.... poor Jareth... *pats Jareth on the shoulder* *sends Jules and her team vodka and chocolate* Good luck with the next chapters! |
| The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? ~Hebrews 13:6 | |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Lord of the Rings - MST · Next Topic » |








[/align]




What. The. Frick?!?

3:14 PM Jul 11