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Silent Times: the Reviews; Let your anger out here.
Topic Started: Jan 31 2010, 05:12 AM (1,608 Views)
Maevainwen Adaniel
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Master of the Rings
Mae: *hugs Jareth*

Jareth: *is in shock at the implications*
If I promise not to kill you can I have a hug?

My favorite thing about eating gummy bears is that they don't fight back when bite their heads off

Teddies don't hug back, but sometimes they're all you have...

Joker: You know, there are three kinds of people in this world. The optomistic that find the glass half full, and the pessimistic that see it as half empty. Then there's the paranoid, and they just think someone's drinking out of their glass.

Corrigan: Huh, then which one are you?

Joker: I'm the one who knocks the glass over.
~ The Joker Blogs.
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jules14
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(Wo)man on a Mission
Quote:
 
*sends Jules and her team vodka and chocolate*


JULES: Awesome! We desperately needed this!
CHESTERFIELD *gobbles chocolate*
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Xaja Silversheen
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King of Nothing
Trust me, my team knows the feeling... *shudders* Enjoy!
The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? ~Hebrews 13:6
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Maevainwen Adaniel
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Master of the Rings
My team is breaking apart on their first MST. . . Jar Jar is in hospital, Erestor is getting drunk and Jareth and I are dying. . . :unsure:
If I promise not to kill you can I have a hug?

My favorite thing about eating gummy bears is that they don't fight back when bite their heads off

Teddies don't hug back, but sometimes they're all you have...

Joker: You know, there are three kinds of people in this world. The optomistic that find the glass half full, and the pessimistic that see it as half empty. Then there's the paranoid, and they just think someone's drinking out of their glass.

Corrigan: Huh, then which one are you?

Joker: I'm the one who knocks the glass over.
~ The Joker Blogs.
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Ara's Greatest Squawk
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Lost In The Future
Ai. This is a really weird story. I'm not getting what's happening at all. *sends brain bleach and ten boxes of chocolate*
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jules14
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(Wo)man on a Mission
Weird is an understatement, my friend. This is one of the stupidest, most nonsensical fics I've ever read. The author just basically pissed all over canon; she's not even trying to get the setting and the characters right, and she cut Sauron right out of the story! I'm okay with her writing a story about a deaf, epileptic child, but why Lord of the Rings? And why, dear God, WHY Legolas? It's incomprehensible.

Thanks a lot for the brain bleach and chocolate, though; my team needs it.
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Maevainwen Adaniel
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Master of the Rings
:blink: oh gods. . . I can't believe it got worse. Only 4 siesures in 4 months? GAH!!!! and I have to say I LOATHE CANNON RAPE WITH A PASSION!!! Sorry, I had to get that out. ..

Awesome sporking :D *hands over chocolate and tequila* Good luck, Jules. . .
If I promise not to kill you can I have a hug?

My favorite thing about eating gummy bears is that they don't fight back when bite their heads off

Teddies don't hug back, but sometimes they're all you have...

Joker: You know, there are three kinds of people in this world. The optomistic that find the glass half full, and the pessimistic that see it as half empty. Then there's the paranoid, and they just think someone's drinking out of their glass.

Corrigan: Huh, then which one are you?

Joker: I'm the one who knocks the glass over.
~ The Joker Blogs.
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jules14
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(Wo)man on a Mission
YES! Booze and chocolate! *jumps on it*

Boris: Hey, save some for us!

Thanks Mae!
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daisymall13
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Reached Tranquillity
Eeep...that was horrible! Great job Jules..*sends a bottle of vodka and chocolate*
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Maevainwen Adaniel
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Master of the Rings
You're welcome, Jules!! :drink: (I love new smilies :dance: )
If I promise not to kill you can I have a hug?

My favorite thing about eating gummy bears is that they don't fight back when bite their heads off

Teddies don't hug back, but sometimes they're all you have...

Joker: You know, there are three kinds of people in this world. The optomistic that find the glass half full, and the pessimistic that see it as half empty. Then there's the paranoid, and they just think someone's drinking out of their glass.

Corrigan: Huh, then which one are you?

Joker: I'm the one who knocks the glass over.
~ The Joker Blogs.
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Refia
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Paying Tribute to the Past
jules14,Apr 27 2010
03:01 AM
Weird is an understatement, my friend. This is one of the stupidest, most nonsensical fics I've ever read. The author just basically pissed all over canon; she's not even trying to get the setting and the characters right, and she cut Sauron right out of the story! I'm okay with her writing a story about a deaf, epileptic child, but why Lord of the Rings? And why, dear God, WHY Legolas? It's incomprehensible.

You just summed up my thoughts about this fic perfectly, Jules! Cutting Sauron out of the story just like that already rang my alarmbell very loudly, but then she drags us through scenes of Legolas being deaf and having a seizure. Followed by scenes of Legolas having a seizure. Followed by scenes of Legolas having a seizure. Followed... Yeah, you know what I mean.

The Elladan and Elrohir = Weasley twins is really starting to get on my nerves. Just because they are twins doesn't mean they do pranks like Fred and George! I don't even like Harry Potter that much anymore these days. <_<

The wangst and drama in this fic is making me headdesk, but thankfully your rifs are in between to make it all bearable. Loved the sporking, Jules! :D

I do have to say, however, that you should praise yourself lucky that there are no typos like Bilbo being spelled "Dildo", or Legolas and a Sue "doing the you-know-what before the beautiful waterfal". :headwall:
[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
[/align]
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jules14
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(Wo)man on a Mission
Quote:
 
The wangst and drama in this fic is making me headdesk, but thankfully your rifs are in between to make it all bearable. Loved the sporking, Jules!


Thank you, Refia! Glad you could read it.


Quote:
 
I do have to say, however, that you should praise yourself lucky that there are no typos like Bilbo being spelled "Dildo", or Legolas and a Sue "doing the you-know-what before the beautiful waterfal". 


Yeah, those things are pretty appalling, all right. "Doing the you-know-what before the beautiful waterfall" reminds me of "Draco putting his boy's thingie in my you-know-what" in "My Immortal". Most likely those fics are trolls, though.
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Refia
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JULES: Like I've said many times, we don't have a choice.


I can guess what you'd do if you had a choice, Jules. :P

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ARAVIS: Oh, fascinating…why are we supposed to care?
JULES (rolling her eyes): Because Kaiyoz thinks these explanations make things clearer when they really screw them up worse.


You said it! I read it and was like: "Wah? What did she just say? :blink: ". Maybe it's me. :dunno:

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JULES: Kaiyoz, I have news for you: we don't give a fat flying fuck whether Legolas says things with his mouth, his hands, or his anus. We DO, however, give a fuck about how BORING AND POINTLESS this story is!


Damn straight! (Reading this made me lol, too. :D )

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JULES (hopefully): Sweet! Does this mean Legolas is gonna freeze or burn to death?


You really should know better by now, Jules. :rolleyes:

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BORIS: Aw, man, and Kaiyoz didn't bother telling us about it? Come on, Kaiyoz: spare us nothing!


Boris, I REALLY hope that was sarcasm. :ph43r:

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Thranduil had had little worries just keeping an eye on the infant and keeping him from grabbing things that weren't his.


I think a comma went missing in there? ???

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JULES: Yes, you moron, that would be why people don't constantly tip over.
BORIS: Is Kaiyoz going to say "The moon was not meant to rise during the day" next?


:laugh:

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CHESTERFIELD: Oh, yeah; every toddler learns to ride a horse as soon as they can walk.


Don't forget archery and swordfighting. :rolleyes:

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JULES (clutching her forehead): You have got to be kidding me.
BORIS: If Legolas lived today, his dad would make him wear kneepads and headgear out on the street.
ARAVIS: Meanwhile, armies of Orcs and Haradrim were overrunning Mirkwood…not that anyone cared.


Dark times for Mirkwood! :rofl: Man, Aravis, you made me lol.

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CHESTERFIELD: How about you CLOSE THE DOORS.


Logic, this fic doesn't have it. :facepalm:

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JULES (deep breathing): Kaiyoz, read my lips. THE. MIRKWOOD. ELVES. DO. NOT. LIVE. IN. A. PALACE. Read "The Hobbit".


You're assuming the author can read.

Though I have to admit, Jules, a cave-palace ain't that strange. Now I know the Mirkwood elves don't live in one, but in one of my video games I have come across a palace, like you would normally find above the ground, underground. So a palace in a cave can exist. Just saying. :wasntme:

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JULES (getting angry): THRANDUIL HAD FIVE OTHER KIDS. HE WOULD ALREADY KNOW THIS!


Keep breathing, Jules. That's the key, just keep breathing.

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CHESTERFIELD: Whoa! What happened?
ARAVIS: Er…did we jump ahead fifty years?
BORIS: Did Thranduil suddenly die or something?


No, just the author failing. :nod:

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JULES (gasp): Oh, my God, I don't believe it. A person with a brain in this story!
CHESTERFIELD: Go, Anaran, go!


I think we're hallucinating. :blink:

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*everyone falls over laughing*
ARAVIS: Did all the trees turn the same direction?
BORIS: Man, who'd have thought Ents lived in Mirkwood?
JULES (as trees): We don't want the little brat getting near us!


:rofl:

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JULES: Kaiyoz, there's a big difference between "overprotective" and "creepy". Thranduil here is definitely being creepy.


He's worse than Edward Cullen! Stalking a toddler! :ph43r:

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CHESTERFIELD: Are they going to kick him in the head?


Now, now, Chesterfield, be realistic.

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BORIS: Do the two words ORCS and SPIDERS mean anything to you, Legolas?


Not unless you sign them, Boris! :P

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JULES: Yeah, but I would have thought the name Mirk-WOOD made it obvious it was a forest!


Common sense, the author does not have it.

Quote:
 
*Jules headdesks*


Not to be nitpicky here, Jules, but are there desks in the theatre? :wasntme: :P

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JULES (frustrated): I thought Kaiyoz said this chapter would have a plot! So, where's the plot? WHERE'S THE PLOT?!


The plot, being smart, fled from the fic.

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JULES (*headdesking*): Playing House. Stuffed bunny. Blanket. A friggin' toy box. Kaiyoz, do you by any chance picture Mirkwood as a modern American suburb that just happens to be full of Elves?


It sure as heck would explain A LOT. <_<

Quote:
 
*everyone cheers*
ARAVIS: I know I shouldn't be cheering about a child getting hurt…but I just can't help it…
JULES: Who can?
BORIS (chanting): Die…die…die…die…
CHESTERFIELD: Hey, you think Mirkwood will go back to normal when he dies?


*joins the cheering*

Child abuse is bad! But this is an exception! :happy:

Quote:
 
*Silence*
JULES: I have no idea what that sentence meant.


Same here. :dunno:

Quote:
 
JULES: Okay, here's an opinion: THIS STORY SUCKS. TAKE IT OFFLINE.
BORIS: NEVER WRITE AGAIN.
CHESTERFIELD: GO PLAY IN TRAFFIC.
*all stare at him
CHESTERFIELD: What?


Nothing, Chesterfield, nothing! It's a wonderful suggestion! :nod:

Great spork, horrible story! How much more is there, Jules? ???
[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
[/align]
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jules14
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(Wo)man on a Mission
Thank you for reading, Refia. This thing has two more chapters to it. The last chapter is the absolute worst.

Quote:
 
You said it! I read it and was like: "Wah? What did she just say?  ". Maybe it's me.


It's not you. I think she was trying to say that hearing people speak while the sign, but her wording was too confusing. I don't know why it even matters.

Quote:
 
Damn straight! (Reading this made me lol, too.  )


Amen! Glad you found it funny.

Quote:
 
Boris, I REALLY hope that was sarcasm.


BORIS: Of course it was sarcasm! What, you think I'm INTERESTED in Legolas's childhood? No way!
JULES: We get it, Boris. Shut up.

Quote:
 
Don't forget archery and swordfighting. 


Yes, that's always the case with Mary Sues. Didn't one of us spork a Sue who'd been swordfighting since she was three or something?

Quote:
 
Dark times for Mirkwood!  Man, Aravis, you made me lol.


ARAVIS: Someone thinks I'm funny? Someone thinks I'm funny! Splendid! And Shasta said no one laughed at my jokes...what does he know...*grumble*

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Now I know the Mirkwood elves don't live in one, but in one of my video games I have come across a palace, like you would normally find above the ground, underground. So a palace in a cave can exist. Just saying.


Cool. Is it a whole building underground, or is it more like Moria or Nargothrond? What video game is this?

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Keep breathing, Jules. That's the key, just keep breathing.


JULES: *gasping* Whew, thanks, Refia! I think I'm gonna need an inhaler for the rest of this story.
CHESTERFIELD: Give it up, Jules: Semirhage is not gonna send you one.

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He's worse than Edward Cullen! Stalking a toddler!


I know. And to think I couldn't picture anyone creepier than Edward Cullen...before this story. At least Bella wasn't three years old!

Quote:
 
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BORIS: Do the two words ORCS and SPIDERS mean anything to you, Legolas?

Not unless you sign them, Boris!


Ha, ha, great response, Refia!

Quote:
 
Not to be nitpicky here, Jules, but are there desks in the theatre?


No. By using "headdesk" in the theater, I imply that my characters bang their heads on any available hard object: the seats, the floor, Chesterfield's skull...you name it. ;)

Quote:
 
The plot, being smart, fled from the fic.


I think you're right. So did characterization, grammar, development, structure...in fact, I think Sauron fled from the fic. That's probably the real reason why he doesn't exist in this story.

Quote:
 
*joins the cheering*
Child abuse is bad! But this is an exception!


Sue-children are usually exceptions, except for Melody in "Two Hearts, One Soul". However, she was being abused by the main Sue, so maybe that's why I felt sorry for her.
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Refia
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Thank you for reading, Refia. This thing has two more chapters to it. The last chapter is the absolute worst.


Well, two more doesn't sound that bad. Unlike "Stuck in Middle Earth", which has still more than 26 to go. I'm sure you can manage, Jules!

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BORIS: Of course it was sarcasm! What, you think I'm INTERESTED in Legolas's childhood? No way!


I'm relieved to hear that. :nod:

Quote:
 
Yes, that's always the case with Mary Sues. Didn't one of us spork a Sue who'd been swordfighting since she was three or something?


Now that you mention it, yes, but I don't remember what that fic was called.

Quote:
 
Cool. Is it a whole building underground, or is it more like Moria or Nargothrond? What video game is this?


It is a whole building underground. Though I think it was originally build above ground only to sink under it later in history... I don't remember that well, been a while since I played it. It was the Sochen Cave Palace in the game called "Final Fantasy XII".

Quote:
 
JULES: *gasping* Whew, thanks, Refia! I think I'm gonna need an inhaler for the rest of this story.
CHESTERFIELD: Give it up, Jules: Semirhage is not gonna send you one.


I think your sporkers don't have good luck, what with a villain being their host and all. :rolleyes:

Quote:
 
Ha, ha, great response, Refia!


*bows* thank you. ^_^

Quote:
 
No. By using "headdesk" in the theater, I imply that my characters bang their heads on any available hard object: the seats, the floor, Chesterfield's skull...you name it.  ;)


Hee, hee, I knew that. ^^" But when you think about it deeper than necesary, it makes no sense to headdesk on a nonexistent desk. :P XD

Quote:
 
I think you're right. So did characterization, grammar, development, structure...in fact, I think Sauron fled from the fic. That's probably the real reason why he doesn't exist in this story.


It's sad, but that's probably true. Been a while since I read such a terrible fic. I mean, Sues are bad, but some at least provide some lulz. This is just BORING! Not meant for your sporking, of course.

Quote:
 
Sue-children are usually exceptions, except for Melody in "Two Hearts, One Soul". However, she was being abused by the main Sue, so maybe that's why I felt sorry for her.


Melody did have the worst mom in Sue-history. <_< And (one of) the worst author(s).
[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
[/align]
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