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The Return of the King--Raskin/Bass Version; A Snarky Commentary/Review
Topic Started: Apr 10 2010, 06:32 AM (2,098 Views)
MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
In the realm of cinema, Peter Jackson’s treatment of J.R.R. Tolkien’s beloved trilogy is the Lord of the Adaptations.

However, Jackson wasn’t the only director to tackle the saga of Middle-earth. Ralph Bakshi animated the Fellowship and their adventures in the 1970s, a version to which Jackson’s has been compared. Bakshi’s version ended though at “The Two Towers.” Would Frodo and company ever have an animated ending?

As it turns out, he did. While watching the Nostalgia Critic (Found here) compare Jackson’s version of the Lord of the Rings to Bakshi’s animated one, the Critic mentioned an animated version of “The Return of the King” done by Raskin-Bass. He showed a seconds-long clip from this movie and I knew I had to find it.

With the same morbid curiosity that drove me to read “Celebrian,” I searched YouTube for anything regarding the Raskin-Bass version of “The Return of the King.” Though I would’ve been happy just to find clips, a user had uploaded the entire movie. I settled into my couch, grabbed my Coke (glad it was a Sunday) and preceded to watch something worthy of the Satellite of Love.

And I didn’t even have Crow or Tom Servo to help me.

The movie starts out on Bilbo’s 129th birthday, being celebrated at the Last Homely House. In attendance are Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Gandalf and Elrond. And just so you know Elrond is an elf—as if the extremely pointy ears didn’t give it away—he has stars dancing around his head, giving him an appearance of being perpetually drunk. Gandalf, voiced by John Huston, is our narrator and his pronunciation is somewhat dubious. It seems he calls Bilbo Frodo’s “king,” but I believe he meant “kin.” Also, Merry is voiced by Casey Kasem, best known as the voice of Shaggy in Scooby-Doo. So I spent the entire movie waiting for “Zoinks!” to come out of Merry’s mouth.

Since Bilbo is old, he falls asleep easily. So what are four bored Hobbits being denied cake to do? Light up, of course! As they enjoy their longbottom leaf, Bilbo regains consciousness to notice that Frodo has only nine fingers. Bilbo immediately demands to know the story of how his kin lost a digit. Fortunately, Gandalf brought along a Gondorian minstrel and he’s glad to tell us the tale! He recaps The Hobbit for us, with Bilbo defeating the dragon “Smog” (once again, pronunciation is not this show’s forte) and taking the Ring from Gollum. He shall henceforth be known as The Creature from the Black Lagoon for the rest of the spork/review/commentary/whatever the hell I’m writing.

Our Gondorian minstrel then brings us to an unconscious Frodo amongst Orcs after Shelob tried to turn him into a snack. Sam tries to go rescue his friend, but first is taken on a little trip courtesy of the One Ring. He sees himself leading a rather impressive army and, using the One Ring, turns Mordor into a Disney movie setting. The spirit of Tolkien, or what Sam calls “good Hobbit sense,” smacks him upside the head and Sam continues on to rescue Mr. Frodo.

The movie then shifts to the action at “Minus” Tirith, where the city is under siege. Pippin and Gandalf are with Denethor as he descends into madness, though no mention of Boromir or Faramir is included in this scene. After blathering on about what he saw in the palantir, the screen is engulfed in flames and we know Denethor is no more—even though Faramir’s near fatal injury is excluded as the final catalyst to Denethor’s madness. Pippin and Gandalf huddle together along the walls of Minus Tirith while two blond (!) Gondorian soldiers stand around like models in a catalogue. Gandalf mentions that Theoden is leading the Rohirrim to fight for Gondor and that the king, Aragorn, is still out there. And thus begins the Aragorn-watch.

Back in Mordor, Sam is still trying to rescue Mr. Frodo. He uses Elendil to get past the stone guards before rushing the Orc-infested tower. Inside, he meets an Orc who soon meets a very Disney-villain death: he trips over a rock and falls to his death. Sam also uses the Ring to disorient the Orc to achieve this, which then begs the question: If Sam uses the Ring in Mordor, why isn’t Sauron tipped off immediately and a band of Orcs dispatched to get the Ring back? Sam manages to get Frodo out of the Orc tower, give him some clothes to wear and hands over the Ring.

We cut back to Minus Tirith. Neither Theoden nor Aragorn have shown up.

For a movie entitled “The Return of the King,” we spend more time with Frodo and Sam in Mordor than with Aragorn. Him walking the Paths of the Dead? Not discussed. Asking the Army of the Dead to fight for him, further sealing his fate as Heir of Isildur? The Army of the Dead aren’t even in this movie, so that answers that question. So what does this movie have? Singing Orcs!

I kid you not.

The Orcs march through Mordor, singing “Where There’s a Whip, There’s a Way.” As they do, they pick up Frodo and Sam. Meanwhile, in Minus Tirith, the Witch-King has arrived. Honestly, he was my favorite part of the movie. His design was fear-inducing and he was incredibly menacing, taunting Gandalf and you honestly believe he could defeat the Istari. We return to Mordor, where Sam starts a fight between the singing Orcs and not-singing Wild Men so he and Mr. Frodo can escape…into a hole. Frodo and Sam decide to spend the night in this hole and thankfully let the movie go back to the Witch-King. When all seems lost for Minus Tirith, guess who finally shows up?

No, not Aragorn.

It’s Theoden and the Rohirrim! As they bring hope to Minus Tirith, Frodo and Sam climb out of their hole and make it to Mount Doom! The audience gets hope this movie is almost over when out pops the Creature from the Black Lagoon. He wants the Ring. Sam fights the Creature, eventually taking pity on him. As he sends the Creature back to the Black Lagoon, he scrambles to find Frodo. So we return to the triumphant Rohirrim on Pelennor Field. Until a dark shadow comes across the field and Theoden just falls off his horse. Dead. A noble character who sadly was never fleshed out is felled by a shadow. What a pathetic way to go.

We discover that this shadow is caused by Frodo deciding to keep the Ring for himself and leading Sam on a chase through Mt. Doom.

So, Theoden’s dead and the Witch-King gets to taunt some more. So who steps up? Eowyn, who whips off her helmet as her long, blonde hair falls perfectly into place like a good animate heroine’s hair should. She and the Witch-King battle—without much effort on Eowyn’s part—and she vanquishes the Witch-King. Our favorite Shieldmaiden was turned into a Mary Sue and the best part of the movie is no more.

However, this is slowly pushed aside because, at eighty minutes into a movie that runs about 100 minutes, Aragorn finally shows up! The battle of Pelennor Fields apparently over, Aragorn makes plans with Gandalf to go to the Black Gate.

The army goes out to meet the Mouth of Sauron while Sam finally finds Mr. Frodo. Actually, he finds the Creature from the Black Lagoon fighting some imaginary foe and puts two and two together to get Invisible Frodo. He watches as the Creature bites off Frodo’s finger and admires the Ring. Now if Frodo’s been running around Mt. Doom with the Ring on, why is Sauron busy sending an army to the Black Gate and not trying to locate the Hobbit with the Ring in his own backyard?

So, the Ring gets destroyed, Sauron is defeated and the Eagles come to rescue Frodo and Sam. Aragorn rides into Minus Tirith triumphant, ready to take the throne. He is greeted by someone I can only assume is Faramir and Eowyn, both who share happy looks as Aragorn is welcomed back to Gondor.

And finally, the random Gondorian minstrel finishes the Ballad of Frodo of the Nine-Fingers (plus the Cameo by the King). The story was so draining, Frodo and Bilbo decide to sail to the Grey Havens with Elrond and Gandalf. This is complete with the minstrel singing “The Road Goes Ever On.” And finally—FINALLY—this story is over.

No wonder this movie isn’t at the forefront of people’s mind when they think of Tolkien adaptations. Raskin-Bass seemed to rush this production out and Romeo Miller barely had time to read “The Return of the King,” let alone the other books to flesh out the characters. The Fellowship falls to the wayside—from a statement Gandalf makes, it would seem he had never travelled with Aragorn. Legolas and Gimli are never seen nor mentioned in the movie.

But I survived. Now, I’m going to go take some bleeprin.
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


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Xaja Silversheen
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King of Nothing
*jaw drops*

Good bloody grief!! I'd never heard of this version and now I'm very glad I hadn't!! Ugh... *shudders*

I'm never complaining about how Jackson mucked up the story again.
The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? ~Hebrews 13:6
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daisymall13
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:blink: :blink: :blink:

*rubs eyes and reads again*

:blink: :blink: :blink:

Waah...? I love Peter Jackson now.
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jules14
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(Wo)man on a Mission
Holy crap! I'd heard the Rankin/Bass Return of the King was bad, but I didn't know it was THAT bad! I actually saw the Rankin/Bass version of "The Hobbit" by accident when I was about ten, and I thought it was so stupid I thought I'd never want to read the book. Now I'm not sure whether I want to watch the RotK cartoon or just take your word for it on how bad it is.
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Ariel
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Professional Nutcase
I have the entire series. I've always thought Legolas got his looks on his mothers side cause he sure as hell didn't get it from that thing masquerading as king Thranduil. That movie is indeed spork-worthy and best watched with siblings.
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Maevainwen Adaniel
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Master of the Rings
:blink: :blink: Oh my gods. . . Is that true?!? If that is the case, I swear I'll never complain about PJ's LotR again. . . I have got to watch this with my bro :P
If I promise not to kill you can I have a hug?

My favorite thing about eating gummy bears is that they don't fight back when bite their heads off

Teddies don't hug back, but sometimes they're all you have...

Joker: You know, there are three kinds of people in this world. The optomistic that find the glass half full, and the pessimistic that see it as half empty. Then there's the paranoid, and they just think someone's drinking out of their glass.

Corrigan: Huh, then which one are you?

Joker: I'm the one who knocks the glass over.
~ The Joker Blogs.
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daisymall13
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Reached Tranquillity
And Katy as well...Or next time Ara, her sisters and Brettles and I come over we can watch it!

I saw The Hobbit and FotR versions because I wasn't allowed to watch P.J's version...I think the characters themselves gave me nightmares.

I knew the story already though...
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Ariel
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I swear the balrog looks like it's got butterfly wings and I think it looked like it was wearing fuzzy bunny slippers, but I haven't seen it in years. What I thought was funny was that Boromir looked like he was running around in his underwear. That's where the 'Gondor has no pants, Gondor needs no pants' line comes from.
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daisymall13
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LOL I'm glad I wasn't the only person to have that thought. I swear Legolas was based on Peter Pan...
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Refia
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Paying Tribute to the Past
The Nostalgia Critic, isn't he the arch-enemy of the Angry Video Game Nerd? I believe they even had a movie where they fought a final battle against each other, which ended with the Nostalgia Critic being killed by Super Mecha Death Christ 2000 BC version 4.0 Beta when Satan possesed the Critic.

That aside, ye gods, movie sounds bad. I've heard of this animated movies of Lord of the Rings, but I'm glad I never saw them. Singing Orcs. Really? Aragorn a cameo character, Eowyn a Mary Sue, Theoden killed by a shadow? REALLY?!

You're very brave to have watched it, Mack.
[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
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Ariel
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I saw it as a small child because mom decided it would be awesome to torture us with those movies. That being said, I thought it was bad back then and that was when I actually liked cartoons.
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Maevainwen Adaniel
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Master of the Rings
:blink: :blink: I saw the Hobbit cartoon. . . It nearly put me off Tolkien for life.
If I promise not to kill you can I have a hug?

My favorite thing about eating gummy bears is that they don't fight back when bite their heads off

Teddies don't hug back, but sometimes they're all you have...

Joker: You know, there are three kinds of people in this world. The optomistic that find the glass half full, and the pessimistic that see it as half empty. Then there's the paranoid, and they just think someone's drinking out of their glass.

Corrigan: Huh, then which one are you?

Joker: I'm the one who knocks the glass over.
~ The Joker Blogs.
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athenarena
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Master of the Rings
Never seen them. Do I want to?
I am currently taking donations, for Everton FC. I am afraid that our chairman has forgotten to cough up. So if you could hand me a penny and I will dance for you :P.

I am the monkey and you hold the box, so be nice with that. I don't want to dance like that!


Creative Insight
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Ariel
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Rena - Take the worst LotR fanfic you've ever read barring Celebrian or VotE, multiply it by about a thousand, and turn it into a cartoon and you've got these movies.

Meh, I thought it was horrible, but it didn't put me off Tolkien. I didn't see them until after FotR so....

Poor Thranduil.....
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athenarena
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Master of the Rings
*starts shaking uncontrollably* Never watching those!
I am currently taking donations, for Everton FC. I am afraid that our chairman has forgotten to cough up. So if you could hand me a penny and I will dance for you :P.

I am the monkey and you hold the box, so be nice with that. I don't want to dance like that!


Creative Insight
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