| Welcome to Refia. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| Round-robin: Stuck in Middle earth (and a rant); Let's share the horror. | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 13 2010, 03:07 PM (4,176 Views) | |
| Refia | Apr 13 2010, 03:07 PM Post #1 |
|
Paying Tribute to the Past
|
Before I start, let me say this: STUCK IN MIDDLE EARTH IS THE WORST PILE OF SHITTY WRITING SINCE AN ELF'S LOVE. CALLING IT A BADFIC IS AN INSULT TO BADFICS! *takes a deep breath* Now that that is out of my system, lemme continue. This may become like a rant, but by all that's sacred in fanfic land, I need it. If you wanna know about the new round robin, eh, scroll down to the end of this post. You may or may not know that I'm currently MSTing "Stuck in Middle earth", a 45-chapter monstrosity with more than 400 reviews, all of them positive and "OMG WRITE MOAR!". When I took up this project, I couldn't imagine how bad it would be, or how my sanity would be torn to pieces. This fic is so bad it makes Phantom's Ange seem good in comparison! Now I'm not trying to exagerate here, but for me it is so. I know this seems hard to believe, but really! At least Phantom's Ange tried (and failed, but still) to make her stories look serious, and she didn't break the fourth wall all the time. But Shadow08 has taken "breaking the fourth wall" and "not so serious writing" far beyond the borders of acceptable in her pile of vomit. I don't know Mack, but it seems quite similar to "What the heck?!" to be honest, so you may have an idea of the horror here. It gets worse every chapter, but let's start at the start. Sam and Tasha are such enormous Sues they are at Rosa Monroe level bad, and their so-called humor and teenage-girl-ness is plain sickening. Not only that, but Sam (Samantha, blegh) is irritating, obnoxious and above all RUDE. So rude she can fight with Aurelia and Rosa for the title of the most rude Sue. Do you know what the first thing, the very first thing is that Sam says to Galadriel? Now, I know you don't want to know, and with good reason as it'll make you want to go back in time to prevent yourself from finding out. But those of you who are brave (or stupid, I dunno), read on. I, personally, shot through the roof after reading it, and in fact I'm sending this down to my PC on earth from within an orbit around Neptune. Anyway, here is the first thing Sam says to Galadriel. Beware, it's bad.
Seriously?! And then the Sue's SURPRISED that Galadriel glares at her! Galadriel should have incinerated her! Yanked her guts out and put em in a bowl! Drown her in a pile of... No, that's disgusting, I apologize. And these two twits have no consistency in their "thoughts" (I'm using that term very loosely). They literally jump all over the place, it's irritating, maddening and makes you want to stab your eyeballs out. I know I wanted to! But then I couldn't read good fanfics any more either, so I decided not to do it... An example of how the Sue "thinks":
Aside from the fact that hungry and Lothlorien have nothing to do with each other, there's also the language. Yay. Yay?! Seriously, YAY?! Somebody kill me now.
*silence, mortified silence*
Oh, yeah, Boromir just happens to be there, too. But that's normal, you see him every day. He's just a fleeting thought. Fuck this shit and the immature writing! *bangs head against a spiked wall* And here, a last gem of the Sue's "thoughts":
No comment. Seriously, no comment. The immaturity, the badness, the stuck-upness, the rudeness, the Sueness, the sugarness, the American-slang-ness, the canon-rape-ness, the etc. It beggars belief. There are POV changes everywhere, which naturally suck (the Suethor tries to write from Gandalf's perspective. Right.), totally silly, long author's notes, pathetic attempts at dialogue... And the rape of canon, ye gods... It doesn't even count as canonrape anymore. This is taking the canon, raping it, killing it slowly and painfully and then rape its corps again! It's fucking sick! And after six chapters, I can't deal with it anymore. I'd rather rip the hairs out of my private parts one by one. I'd rather get all of Godzilla's dung thrown over me. I'd rather try and take a fresh tooth from an awake Tyrannosaurus' blood-stained jaws. I'd rather stab my eyeballs out and shove em where the sun never shines! I'd rather do all of that combined than read that fic again! It's so bad it sucks. It's so bad it fucks. It fucking sucks! It sucking fucks! IT'S THE EQUIVALENT OF SHIT TAKING A SHIT! And I don't like it. Now, I know you're thinking that I'm exagerating, and I can understand where you're coming from. Some can deal with this better than others can, and apparently I'm too weak to do it on my own. (Mack, my respect for you has grown past the borders of infinity. I'll never understand how you did all of "Two Hearts, One Soul" on your own.) So okay, this badfic has me beaten. I'm sorry, but 45 chapters of this level of horror is more than I can take! It's like having to read Celebrian five times in a row without a break! So I'm asking of you to lend my poor sporking team a hand with yours. This fic has to be sporked to oblivion and beyond, but it's too much for one team. So let's team up and tackle this beastie. I've done six chapters, working on chapter 7, so that's 38 more chapters to go. The end is (not) in sight! Let's do it! For the sake of the internet, no, for the sake of all of existence, let's MST Shadow08's shitpile to infinity, and beyond, together! Because there is no redemption for this one. At all. The original horror can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2379166/1/Stuck_in_Middle_earth Sincerely, Refie, your (defeated) admin PS: My apologies for the rant. Members who signed up for the round-robin: - Tel - Daisy - Jules - Athenarena - Xaja - Ariel - Mae - Destined Darkness - Refia - Mack Who does what chapter: Chapter 08: Ariel Chapter 09: Destined Darkness Chapter 10: Tel Chapter 11: Xaja Chapter 12: Mae Chapter 13: Daisy Chapter 14: Refia Chapter 15: Arya Chapter 16: Daisy Chapter 17: Jules Chapter 18: Daisy Chapter 19: Mae Chapter 20: Luthi |
|
[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?” [/align] | |
![]() |
|
| daisymall13 | Apr 13 2010, 03:48 PM Post #2 |
|
Reached Tranquillity
|
Crap that's bad. Sounds like a little girls Diary entries from what I saw... Count my team in! (with guests :)) Team: *all curse Daisy* |
![]() ![]() ![]()
| |
![]() |
|
| Telcontar Rulz | Apr 13 2010, 03:50 PM Post #3 |
|
Rising Again
|
I'm up for a chapter or two, Refie. And Logan's in. |
|
| |
![]() |
|
| Refia | Apr 13 2010, 03:57 PM Post #4 |
|
Paying Tribute to the Past
|
*Bows to Tel and Daisy* You two are very brave. Say, Tel, can Cara be in, too? I wanna read some morbid things concerning these two twits. I'll finish chapter 7 as soon as I can. Meanwhile, Tel, expect Mastermind to phone Sauron. Same goes for the host of your sporkteam, Daisy.
|
|
[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?” [/align] | |
![]() |
|
| Telcontar Rulz | Apr 13 2010, 03:59 PM Post #5 |
|
Rising Again
|
Of course Cara can be in it. Logan would be more than happy to have his...uh...special friend with him.
|
|
| |
![]() |
|
| daisymall13 | Apr 13 2010, 04:00 PM Post #6 |
|
Reached Tranquillity
|
*Cracks knuckles* I'm looking forward to the challenge... Cleaner Guy: I can't wait to see them suffering...*cackles* |
![]() ![]() ![]()
| |
![]() |
|
| Refia | Apr 13 2010, 04:04 PM Post #7 |
|
Paying Tribute to the Past
|
Your sporkers will never be the same again, Daisy. |
|
[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?” [/align] | |
![]() |
|
| Telcontar Rulz | Apr 13 2010, 04:10 PM Post #8 |
|
Rising Again
|
Got Sauron's number! It's on my speed dial. Mordor's area code is 066 and Barad dur's twenty four hour line is 6-666-666. |
|
| |
![]() |
|
| daisymall13 | Apr 13 2010, 04:18 PM Post #9 |
|
Reached Tranquillity
|
After Barbie!Sue...I figured out how much my team can take. Tony is good with *ahem* stuff but not bad grammar...Legolas is the opposite, Halt is sacastic and B.T is...well, B.T... In other words, I think you're right... ![]() *evil cackle* |
![]() ![]() ![]()
| |
![]() |
|
| Xaja Silversheen | Apr 13 2010, 05:02 PM Post #10 |
|
King of Nothing
|
*grumbles* Vader got wind of this and called Mastermind to sign my team up. On MY phone, too. *glares at Vader* So we're in for a couple of chapters. |
| The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? ~Hebrews 13:6 | |
![]() |
|
| jules14 | Apr 13 2010, 05:52 PM Post #11 |
![]()
(Wo)man on a Mission
|
I'll be glad to take a chapter or two if needed, but in the meantime, why don't you flame it, Refie? Send the author a nice long flame. Considering the damn thing is 45 chapters long and the Suethor is totally clueless on how bad it is, I should think you wouldn't be worried about hurting her feelings. I think she deserves it. |
| |
![]() |
|
| Refia | Apr 13 2010, 06:19 PM Post #12 |
|
Paying Tribute to the Past
|
I think, after she got so many positive reviews telling her to write more and how amazing she is, one little flame isn't going to bother her in the least, Jules. BTW, can I say that I like your avatar? ^^" Anyway, chapter 7 is up. Now it is your turn, my friends. Who will take on chapter 8? EDIT: I just checked it. She has 419 reviews, and out of those 419, 4 (yes, only four) do not like her story. One of those four was you, Jules. That flame was just awesome. It made my day. |
|
[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?” [/align] | |
![]() |
|
| athenarena | Apr 13 2010, 07:01 PM Post #13 |
![]()
Master of the Rings
|
What happened?! |
|
I am currently taking donations, for Everton FC. I am afraid that our chairman has forgotten to cough up. So if you could hand me a penny and I will dance for you :P. I am the monkey and you hold the box, so be nice with that. I don't want to dance like that! Creative Insight | |
![]() |
|
| Xaja Silversheen | Apr 13 2010, 07:03 PM Post #14 |
|
King of Nothing
|
I've got two more chapters of Allena to go. I'll spork a chapter once I've finished that one, since my other spork-project was taken down. *cheers* *evil eyes exam schedule* This might take a while... Someone else can go first. |
| The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? ~Hebrews 13:6 | |
![]() |
|
| athenarena | Apr 13 2010, 07:03 PM Post #15 |
![]()
Master of the Rings
|
What you all talking about? |
|
I am currently taking donations, for Everton FC. I am afraid that our chairman has forgotten to cough up. So if you could hand me a penny and I will dance for you :P. I am the monkey and you hold the box, so be nice with that. I don't want to dance like that! Creative Insight | |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
![]() Our users say it best: "Zetaboards is the best forum service I have ever used." Learn More · Sign-up for Free |
|
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Lord of the Rings - General Discussion · Next Topic » |












1:42 AM Jul 11